Children Shouldn't Swim Without An Adult

Now I mentioned camille in the last entry, so i think it would be best for all of you(well, just you, you are my audience) if i described her. I won't describe her physically because there are so many scales, some are centered on certain organs, and other others focus on the overall painting, let's just say that by most scales she's pretty. She's got an incredible personality, both mature and childlike. In some cases she reminds me of an innocent little girl(you know the kind, so cute you could vomit) with a new puppy. The look in her eyes is trust for this little ball of fluff and fur that's licking at her face, while the puppy looks up, also with trust glimmering in it's eyes, not founded in any prior knowledge of this little girl, but rather in the warm gentle kindness that this girl radiates towards it. But some times she all grown up, like a lone pine tree standing against a gail, with only her deep roots for support, yet from the outward appearances she seems to be solid, like a rock, one with the jagged crag beneath her.

So i was thinking tonight in my bed(igotuptowritethis) about the girl i have a crush on. Up till now i've refered to it an inexplicable or an irrational crush, but as i thought about it, i realise that there is a reason i have a crush on her. I look at her and see so much, characteristics that i wish i had, properties that i have long ago lost along the trail to my present state. When i see her face, i see the warmth of love and compassion, the gentle light of both wisdom and wonder, and the spark of hope in her eyes. When i see her, my mind becomes fixated on these qualities for at least an hour, often much more. I end up thinking about her during tests, during lectures and during busywork. It's maddening, it's refreshing, it's wonderful, and it's euphoric. I know what i must do, and i will do it.

I've given up reading moby dick till winterbreak because it's just too detailed. I started it, but got lost in the waves of detail. The riptide and undertow caused by the story kept pulling me back, making it hard the book down so i must put it off until i can let myself be drowned in the colorful mirth of it's detail...
Wednesday, November 7, 2001

Thankyou Bluebeard

A cow is a cow of cows of course. Of course a cow is a cow of course of course...

A link promised, a link forgedhttp://www.twisted.org.uk/tg/fuckoff.html

It's pretty funny that people who say they don't respect me seem fixated on my guest book. It's really sad that they take so much time doing it to.

I asked camille if i could see her breasts. She looked at me and started laughing. She almost laughed off of her chair in the library. I didn't understand what was so funny, 'cus she does have, um, large tracts of land.
She told me that she didn't like my haircut and she would have done a better job cutting my hair. Still didn't show me her breasts. Oh well...

That's about what i've been getting about my new haircut. Half say it looks good, the other half says it looks terrible. Unfortunateley, i'm not sure who is coddling and who is being honest. The reaction that was universal was the unknowing of my face. Hair does alot to change the look of a person. I was able to walk by people with out them recognizing me, even people who i regularly hang out with. This loss of familiarity is quite disturbing, not because of the sphycological shock of being unknown, but the fact that one can move from prominence to obscurity in so small a motion. Funny how things can be destroyed in so quick an action.

Um, um, i'm gonna go now.(oh, i'm changing the the links in a week, so update lest you be dropped)
Tuesday, November 6, 2001