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Today is Thursday, December 30, 2004
The time is
02:05 p.m.
Life has been hectic. Haven't been home much, but I am by no means complaining. Things are funny around here, and I swear things are turning upside down. I have to work tonight and I think that instead of going out afterwards I'm gonna come home. Not like there will be anything going on. Or so I hope
Christmas was nice yet sad at the same time. We've stopped seeing ANYONE on my mom's side of the family, and welp, its almost like the family is dwindling down on the dad's side. It's utterly depressing. But I had really good Italian food the other night, and there actually seems to be alot of good food here now. THAT is a first.
But break will soon be over, which also means that the second quarter will soon be over, and Janet will be VERY happy when that happens. And I'm looking forward to the Right to Life March which is also coming soon. And I'm not missing it this year.
Looks like its time for me to hop in the shower. If you're looking for something to laugh at thats a stupid kind of funny, watch Napolean Dynamite. Funny as hell, but has no point. Check it sometime, but I'm out
Today is Sunday, December 26, 2004
The time is
09:08 p.m.
Ev'ry Time We Say Goodbye by: Natalie Cole; De-Lovely soundtrack
Everytime we say goodbye, I die a little,
Everytime we say goodbye, I wonder why a little,
Why the Gods above me, who must be in the know.
Think so little of me, they allow you to go.
When you're near, there's such an air of spring about it,
I can hear a lark somewhere, begin to sing about it,
There's no love song finer
but how strange the change from major to minor,
Everytime we say goodbye.
When you're near, there's such an air of spring about it,
I can hear a lark somewhere, begin to sing about it,
There's no love song finer,
but how strange the change from major to minor,
Everytime we say goodbye.
-------
Finally saw the movie today... Love the soundtrack, and now, the movie
Today is Friday, December 24, 2004
The time is
02:44 p.m.
Woohoo it's finally Christmas Eve... I'm sooooo happy. I'm going to Wayne and Monica's relatives house b/c my family is dysfunctional, and my mom and her older brother are fighting. So, my mom tried saying that I was full of shit and that I never told her I was coming here, but I did, like 2 weeks ago when I found out that we weren't going to visit the only people we've kept in touch w/ from my mother's side of the family. Anyways, I"m just very thankful that now I'm surrounded by people that love me, and care about me. I know that yes, my family does love me, but it seems like, esp. lately, that they just like picking fights with me, and telilng me that I'm not good enough. Fortunately, this time next year, I'll be coming home from school and hopefully all this shit won't happen again.
So I got to see Phantom of the Opera on Wednesday, which was absolutely AMAZING and then Ben and Nick were having "snow-gasms" lol... and there was soooo much snow when I got home, which was like 1 am. lol. But it was awesome. Only downfall to that was me and Wayne were sorta fighting and I didn't get to see him, but I'm here with him now and all is well. I have the best idea for a Christmas gift for him, but it's going to take a lil while to get everything all together and yea. But hopefully soon? lol
I sincerely hope everyone has a wonderful holiday, and appreciate all that is given to you, and all that you have.
All my Love,
-Janet
Today is Monday, December 20, 2004
The time is
05:50 a.m.
What I don't understand is that as hard I as I try to get my ass out of bed in the mornings when I tell myself I'm going to wake up early to get some work done, and yet don't. And here, today, I have a fucking snow day and get out of bed at fucking 5 am. Lil pissed about it, if you couldn't tell. I guess its cuz I couldn't sleep last night, and was fully awake by about 3 or so. And I suppose its cuz I wanted to be sure I had EVERYTHING done for the research paper that was supposed to be due today. But yay, I have more time to make sure its perfect!
Ok, so this was week was supposed to consist of 1 1/2 days of school... now it appears that I'm down to 1/2 a day. So figure if I can make it all the way thru ummm, like, tomorrow and not go crazy I'll be good. I can't wait for wednesday... no school, no work... going to see Phantom, and oh, Wayne... for the first time in about 2 1/2 weeks. Its really been sucky. So yea... maybe I'll get some Christmas shopping done today. I think I'm getting my parents, sister (already got something for Charley), and then my grandparents and call it a day, or at least until Christmas actually gets here. I have a sweet plan for what I'm doing for wayne... but unfortunately, its going to take some time and he's not gonna get it for a lil while. And then theres been like a bazillion people who have said "omg, i got you the coolest thing for christmas!!" and its like "oh, I'm broke and havent gotten you ANYTHING". Yea.
being broke BLOWS
welp, its time for me to do something... maybe i'll try to sleep... or maybe i'll shower... hmm... something to ponder
ROCK THE FUCK ON TO BEAUMONT (and how often do i say something like that?!)
Today is Thursday, December 16, 2004
The time is
08:57 a.m.
I can't exactly describe what I've been feeling later. I suppose depressed would describe, but it would not be sufficient for me...
I guess its seasonal depression. I hate the way everything is now, though, and its tearing me up inside. I really miss going to Benedictine for play practices. I think thats what made my days go by faster, and thats when I had alot of fun. Everything was so much easier when I went to play practice, and I felt like I was in a place where I belonged. I was happy. Now, when I'm at home, and have nothing to do but get yelled... I just wish I was gone.
I like having a "busy" schedule. I miss it. Right now theres nothing to do. Maybe when break comes, I'll be better.
I also hate not seeing Wayne. It's really killing me right now. I just want the damn snow to be gone and not come back.... I want my damn problems to go away and not come back....
We discussed breaking up last night. I hate the idea, but right now I dont know... maybe it would be for the best? Uggh, I hate thinking like that
My apologies, but I just needed to write down a few thoughts to make myself feel better (which helps a lil bit...)
Today is Tuesday, December 7, 2004
The time is
10:50 p.m.
Tonight was Christmas Campus. It was a BLAST cuz me and Sami hung out for like the first hour and took around these two sweet girls, Angela and Destiny, and then around 5ish we split up and I took both of them and Sami got 2 more kids cuz a whole other bus of children came. But it was just so much being with them, cuz they were so incredibly sweet. I'm just sad cuz I know that next year I won't be at Beaumont anymore to participate. *sigh*
I'm really getting a bad case of senioritis. REALLY BAD CASE. Like, I need to be in college so that I'll be taking classes that I would rather take.... for example, i DONT need to take trig. And yet, I am. I find myself also with a C+ in the class.
did i mention I got a 9000 dollar scholarship from Ursuline? I surely did and was quite proud of myself
So only like 10 days of classes left until I go on Christmas break, which is uber exciting. I can't wait cuz I need time to relax, oh and did I mention I wanna see Wayne again. Like now lol
Opening night of my play went pretty well I think. I only fucked up on 2 lines and it wasnt a horribly fuck up where the audience noticed. Funny shit yea. so hopefully this weekend will be good as well. I have alot of people comin out to see me this Friday. Only a few (but all important, very lol) came last weekend. Fun stuff
Welp maybe now I'll do something productive...
Today is Thursday, December 2, 2004
The time is
12:20 p.m.
Wow, tis already December... madness!
Ok, so after my last entry, I feel really ungrateful for so many things. I overheard a junior bitching about how "Beaumont sucks and I don't wanna be here". Well, as hard as it may be, I thank God my parents gave me the opportunity to be here. I know it's prepared me much better for college, and given me a wonderful education that I woulnd't have had, had I gone to Brush or whatever.
And my thanksgiving was quite lovely; I got to my cousin that I haven't seen for about a year now, and me, my siblings, and Pat all played pool for awhile and then had a fabulous dinner and it was just pleasant. I got to see Wayne that night which was nice. Spent a good deal of time at their house; got a very small amount of Christmas shopping done, but any amount is better tahn none. Jean left, but she is going to come back not this weekend but next for the play.
I'm excited and a lil nervous about the play. I haven't performed in front of people for a long (since 8th grade... in a play that i had ZERO lines in and just sang in a chorus) and all of a sudden am goign to be up in front of alot of friends and many others with a relatively big part. But we have worked so hard on the play, and its going to be lots of fun. I'm happy that I get to perform with both cast one and two, mainly cuz i think cast one does a much better in terms of accents and keeping in charachter. fun stuff. both are good tho lol.
and Christmas ball is on Saturday... uber exciting; can't wiat for that; which reminds me i need to get another camera cuz i wanna take plenty of pics. i'm such a dork
well its getting close to psychology time so thats fun but hopefully i'll update soon
Today is Sunday, November 28, 2004
The time is
02:02 a.m.
*Broken-Hearted and Nowhere to Go*
So my SAT results came today. Yes, I should be happy. I got an 1150 (compared to the 1100 in March). Improvement. Nonetheless, I feel like complete shit about it. I missed my goal... a 1200. My goal for the ACT was a 27; I got a 25 (I got a 22 in April). So I came pretty close to meeting my goal, yet I failed. And I came rpetty close to getting the scholarship that I wanted, but I failed. And for some reason, that seem like all I do. Maybe I'm not setting up goals to high for myself. Maybe they are all just out of my reach and I should set my standards lower.
Right now I have terribly mixed emotions for next year. I can't wait to get out of this house. It makes me crazy, makes me feel like i'm insignificant. I hate it. And yet, at the same time, next year I'll be starting my nursing program (ok, the pre-recs... science.. yum), and I have no idea if I'll make it or not. True, I have the support of all my friends, esp Mo, the roomie, lol, and then Sam (from Padua) who will be right along side me takign the same classes (or so i hope) and able to help me when I struggle. Yet still I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure again. Its like, I have to have (I think) a C+ average to keep my place in nursing school. Goddamn, right now I'm not sure what I'm puling. Yes, last quarter I had roughly a B+ average; but for some reason this quarter is killin me... I feel like I'm failing every class. I damn well wouldn't be surprised if I was failing trig or brit lit. Ok, maybe I'll be lucky and have like a D in it or something, but seriously, in english, i got FUCKED UP with those damn Macbeth quizes cuz she DIDNT GO OVER THE MATERIAL (ok, i know i can't complain cuz thats gonna happen next year... tested on material that we havent covered... joy). but still, its shakespeare; love the man, he's a genius... but I dont understand that kinda thing on my first go. And I dont know what to think of trig. It pisses me off cuz i know I don't need it in college (GRRR) but still.... math is supposed to be my strongest subject. It really depresses me when I fall to like a C in that class. Maybe I'm just not smart enough?
Well I'm sure all of my whining has entertained you for enough *please note sarcasism** so I think I'll hit the sheets cuz its already after 2 am and I dont know what time I'll be asked to get up... probly like 7 so my wonderful, perfect, never does anything wrong sister can go home. grrr
Today is Wednesday, November 24, 2004
The time is
03:09 p.m.
I GOT IN TO URSULINE!!!!!!!!!!! I GOT IN TO MY TOP SCHOOL!!!!!!!
BIG relief getting my letter. I have been accepted into the Nursing program. I was crying for like 10 minutes when I read it. I know, you probly dont care
hmmmm well i think thats all. Liz, I'll be going Ursuline w/ ya next year!!!!!!
Today is Sunday, November 21, 2004
The time is
02:52 p.m.
"Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane
I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Today is Thursday, November 18, 2004
The time is
10:46 a.m.
I hate the way I am. I hate knowing that I hurt the people I love. I hate knowing that i hurt the hardest the people i love the most. I hate being myself. I want it all to end. I wanna quit being me.
I wanna extinguish this pain
and for those that I have hurt, especially the ones I care about teh most, I sincerely apologize. But I know that doesn't make up for the pain...
Today is Wednesday, November 10, 2004
The time is
12:54 p.m.
*Indecision and Irration*
This is the most insane week ever. i feel completely overwhelmed by school right now, oh and then theres the fact that the musical is this weekend, so is gannon, and so is the overnight at ursuline (but i'm not complaining that much about the musical, cuz i havent had it nearly as bad as some others, who i do pity). but i will be homef or literally 10 hours this weekend, and i intend to sleep most of that time. i just hope i'll be able to get all my work done...
Yesterday's play practice was awesome. I have a pretty sweet costume (its not the little, sexy black cocktail dress that i wanted, but it this really cool dress and of this reddish black material). so its pretty slick, and on top of that, i will get to wear all kinds of fun jewelry, and funky black gloves. i also found this GORGEOUS cream colored, with black lace, dress that i would love to wear to Christmas Ball. My only problem: I don't know if I'm giong now. Its this formal, for only the senior class, so of course I've wanted to go since I was a frosh. And now that its here, I dont know if I will. Because its a seniors-only dance, I want it to be special. I don't want to bring just anyone, its gotta be someone special. So I'm sure we can all do the math and figure out who I am talking about. But I may have to resort (ok, will have to if I go) to bringing someone else. And that won't be the same. **sigh** I just don't know what to do.
And on top of that, I"m really annoyed by the stupid girls in this school (but hey, whats new? lol). Seriously, this girl was like "OMG I need a boyfriend... like now!!" and itrs like, what, you need a guy to live your life?! that kinda stuff makes me sooooo mad. grrr.
thats all for now... and probly now for another week (at least!!)
Today is Saturday, November 6, 2004
The time is
02:30 p.m.
Hey peoples. whats up? hmmm lets see... this morning Janet took the SAT. She also attempted donating blood yesterday. Lost about 3/4 of a pint of blood for nothing because it wasnt a full. Long story, if you really wanna know email me (but youprobly dont, so thats why i'm not writing it). Janet needs to learn her lines for the play... opening night is less than a month away. Grrr. Next weekend, Janet won't be home at all. Janet should hopefully find out soon if she gets into Ursuline. janet would like that very much. Janet would also like find out what her first quarter grades. Hmmm, thats all on janet's mind for now
(ps... less than 7 months til Beaumont's graduation!! We're almost there guys!!)
Today is Friday, October 29, 2004
The time is
10:19 a.m.
So it's finally the end of the first quarter (one down, three to go), and I've already taken 3 of my exams. I have a feeling the hardest one is yet to come... brit lit. Trig was surprising easy (which probly means I'll fail that one), and Multimedia, we had already finished our final (without even knowing... we made a presentation, and turned it in like 2 or 3 weeks ago). And bio seemed riduliously easy.
I already miss multimedia tho. It was a wonderful break from the rest of my classes, and my schedule was perfect. So I have all the same classes for 2nd quarter, except for psychology... and that should be interesting cuz we have a new teacher and I HAVE NO IDEA WHO SHE IS!!! lol. but its true
The next 2 wees ned to come and go quickly, cuz I need the fall musical to be over... I know I dont hae alot to do in it, but still, with everything else, its wayyyyy to much. Plus, JCWA in Gannon is that weekend, PLUS the overnight @ Ursuline. Uggg just too much to worry about
I can't believe that Sunday is Halloween. I'm looking forward to this evening, just cuz its gonna be fun. Hmmm, I think I'm rambling on.
Well I must go now and clean out my locker, yea...
Today is Sunday, October 24, 2004
The time is
11:39 a.m.
I hate Sundays. Absolutely hate them. I had so much fun last night (and btw, I didnt get in trouble... which shocked me cuz i swear i told my dad I'd be back by like 1 lol), and I dont want Wayne to go back. And I don't want to go to school tomorrow cuz I gotta be there at like 7:30. Thats too damn early!! its for drama... i'm opening the box office tomorrow. Yea
Ok, so i took the ACT yesterday, and I really wanna know what I got... I hope I got at least a 27, which I dont think is that unreasonable. If I did... I can get like 10,000 dollars in scholarship to Ursuline. So yea, fingers crossed, lol
Its exciting, I got my senior pictures back finally lol. We have this 16 by 20 and its HUGE lol
So I'm watching this show on VH1, called " motormouth" and its really funny... they record people while driving, and its hilarious. This one guy is acting like he's tough shit and then he's all of a sudden singing Marc Antony, lol. And then there was a really dorky guy like 50 year old guy who farted lol and it was great.
i suppose i should start working on my english essay :-(
Today is Tuesday, October 19, 2004
The time is
12:11 p.m.
Wow... exams are in 10 days. Meaning I have like 8 days to get my bio grade up to an A, and keep my trig grade at an A. We shall see about that. But that means that the rest of this week, and next week are going to be hellish. Not fun. (but, on Friday the 29th, I am going to a party, so I at least have that to look forward... that and a 3-day weekend)
So we've had 4 play practices, and thats it (at least for me) for this week... and by Monday I'm supposed to know all my lines. AFTER FOUR PRACTICES!!! That's madness. Because Mandy hasn't been at most of the practices, I know my lines very well for certain parts... but then there are others that I just don't lol.
Outside of that business, life couldn't be better. Allan said he would get me a bunch of job applications, which is incredibly sweet of him, and I think he's doing it becuase of the whole Lynne thing. So hopefully I'll soon have a new (and better!) job. lol. And I had a wonderful weekend (lol, for the most part). I got the perfect sweetest day gift, from the perfect sweetie and am just so happy
I suppose that is all
Today is Wednesday, October 13, 2004
The time is
03:17 p.m.
Altho the past few months have been insanely nuts, and they continue to be nuts, I have reached a point of such happiness that I never want it to change or go away. Yes, I know thats impossible, but still I can't help but wish it. I finally love getting up in the morning (ok, not at 6:30, but still) and I'm hardly ever in a bad mood.
I'm happy cuz I got the role that I wanted in the Benedictine play (the butler did it again) so that was super exciting. I'm the bitch that everyone hates, lol
Outside of that, my weekend was perfect, and couldn't have been better. I'm slowly beginning to chip away at the large debt i owe mommy.
And I do believe my application is on its way to Ursuline :)
Today is Wednesday, October 6, 2004
The time is
06:36 p.m.
Hey peoples,
School is crazy, and will remain crazy for the next few months. I applied to Ursuline, and have been working on my application for Kent (even tho I really don't have the desire to go there). And I have to wait another 3 months to find out whether or not I'm accepted. Thats about it
So my newest online obsession has been myspace.com; I blame Sean. So yea, like I said before, everyone go and sign up there and then make me your friend. LOL. You can see my profile but in order to leave a comment or whatever, you gotta sign up.
Looking forward to the weekend. Stll don't know what role I have in the play, but practices start on Monday. Lots of fun. But I just want it to be Friday now...
Today is Saturday, October 2, 2004
The time is
02:26 p.m.
I can't believe its October, and that grades will be mailed out this week (progress reports); and that in about 28 days we have exams. Egad.
Also, a bazillion birhtdays are coming. Too bad Janet's broke and can't afford to buy anyone anything
This whole college application process blows seriously big balls. I HOPE Ursuline recieved my application. I have to apply to Kent State... I have ZERO intention of going there; but I should be able to rack up lots of scholarship money, so I'm bieng told to. However, I should be able to get some money from Ursuline too.
I just joined this site called MySpace.com and it seems pretty cool thus far. So if your bored, go join there, and then you can search for me (I used my quackerz316@aol.com email) and make me your friend.
Thats all for today... maybe more soon
Today is Wednesday, September 29, 2004
The time is
03:58 p.m.
*Frustrated by Inconsideration*
So before I get into what is really bothering me, Fall Fling was nice. I think the decorations sucked, but it wasnt that. I really liked the background for the pictures they took... so I can't wiat to get those back, and then I'm getting my pictures back tonight, which is super excited. Right
So the past few days (almost week... since last friday) have been odd for me. I've been in my own sort of cloud thinking about death and the way the death of certain people would affect me. Because a good friend of mine just lost her mom this weekend. What upsets me is that the principal made an announcement to the whle school about her death (and made it sound like she, not her mom, passeD). While I know most people say, yeah, it was nice letting the whole school know, I think it was ignorant. In consideration of the person who just lost a parent and would like to keep it private, outside of her friends, i think it was a dick move on the school's part. But thats not the worst part.
Now the funeral is a field trip
Thats right, all the entire school needs to do is sign a permission to take a busy the service. They are making it a freakshow, or just an excuse to get out of class. It really upsets me, because half the people who picked the permission slips, that "care" about her dont know anything past her name. I just want to scream right now for what they are doing with this whole affair.
I'm too upset to write anything else. I'll update soon... hopefully in a MUCH better mood
Today is Thursday, September 23, 2004
The time is
10:48 a.m.
*According to Jones Soda..*
Fun/Happy: You are bright, fast in a car, and have a desire to become president of your local chamber of commerce one day. Your lucky number is the square root of pi.
Interesting, eh? Also, I am...
Peachy Keen: You have an orange complexion, avoid all rooms painted green and prefer doing grocery shopping on Thursdays. Your lucky number was last week's lotto winner.
If you take the quiz, and hit refresh, you get a different answer without actually retaking the quiz.
I needed some form of entertainment in my life
After last night, I don't think I'm ever gonna make comments on politics again. You never know who will flip out and shit a brick on you. Anyways, as Mo has said, its ilke any moral, political or religious topic is just not a good idea for any conversation. Which is kinda sad when you can't discuss your views on one of those topics b/c too many people disrespect. oh well
-Janet
(as a ps, if I could vote, it would be for Kerry... I don't really either bush or kerry, but would prefer to get bush out of office... i don't like him, and i can't stand him)
Today is Wednesday, September 22, 2004
The time is
03:26 p.m.
Well the past few days have been quite a blur. Working has become such an oddity to me. Its like I have good nights and I have bad nights, and there are mor bad nights now than ever before. Saturday night was fun @ work tho because there was no Jerry. I think I more better nights when he isnt there.
School is getting out of control... I'm beginning to slack off to much in certain classes... but I should have an A in trig and multimedia, and I have a b in bio, and should have on in english too. So yea, hopefully it will at least stay that way.
Ummm, thats all she wrote for now (cuz she has a mental blank)
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