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Archives
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Sunday, March 21, 2004
05:46 p.m.
i was thinking about archiving soon, and maybe i will, but for now i dont feel like it. i'm sitting here in wayne's room with monica, altho she is trying to sleep. and i'm wishing my baby was here just to hold me... and in an hour or so? if i'm lucky...
feh, we have exams this week. i dont even wanna deal with it all. like tomorrow i have a latin verb quiz. i think i know the verbs, but i dunno. so i guess then i dont, lol. but then i'm gonna have to worry about the exam, which i most definately dont want to do. math should be simple, and i dont think chem will be a problem either. and i have to catch up on an art project, which i probly should be doing, but well i'm not at home right now, so i guess it doesnt matter. *sigh*
i guess thats all for now.
-jannie-
Thursday, March 18, 2004
04:32 p.m.
this is the closest i've come to describing how i feel...
"In The Garage" Weezer
I've got Dungeon Master's Guide
I've got 12-sided die
I've got Kitty Pryde
And Nightcrawler too
Waiting there for me
Yes I do, I do
I've got posters on the wall
My favorite rock group Kiss
I've got Ace Frehley
I've got Peter Criss
Waiting there for me
Yes I do, I do
In the garage
I feel safe
No one cares about my ways
In the garage
Where I belong
No one hears me sing this song
In the garage
I've got an electric guitar
I play my stupid songs
I write these stupid words
And I love every one
Waiting there for me
Yes I do, I do
In the garage
I feel safe
No one cares about my ways
In the garage where I belong
No one hears me sing this song
In the garage
In the garage
In the garage
I feel safe
No one cares about my ways
In the garage
Where I belong
No one hears me sing this song
In the garage
I feel safe
No one laughs about my ways
In the garage
Where I belong
No one hears me
No one hears me
No one hears me
No one hears me
No one hears me sing this song
-jannie-
Thursday, March 18, 2004
08:28 a.m.
so my birthday was tuesday, as was 4 months for me and wayne, but tuesday was a horrible day. and not jsut for me. but i really dont feel like talking about it. i feel like shit right now, but once again i dont really feel like talking about it.
exams are in a week. this time next week i believe i'll be in my latin exam. someone shoot me.
i guess thats all. hope everyone is doing good
"all i can say is that my life is pretty plain... i like watching the puddles gather rain..."
-jannie-
Saturday, March 13, 2004
09:41 a.m.
I really dont have much to say. Dad finally came home thursday. my throat still hurts. my birthday is in 3 days. next week is wayne's last at vargos. my sister came home again... she was her last weekend, and stayed til wednesday, and yet she's back here. i really havent slept, and last night/this morning was hell (look at the time) because elliette and bamboo (my sister's pets) chased each other around and what not.
exams are in like a week and a half. we only have 6 days of classes until we have exams. which is kinda sad cuz after exams, i dont have art class. and i absolutely love sr. lucia, she's so wonderful. but then i'm gonna have related arts, which should be fun... and everyone better come to performance! (3rd block!)i dunno. but i dont want to have to worry about like a math or chem exams. and most certainly not latin. i odnt know how to explain the class. most days i dont dread going there... but its like when i am there, for the most part it was ok, but i dunno. i first of dont feel like i belong in that class for 2 reasons. a. i'm not a brain like half the class. b) i just dont belong... all of them are little good girls... and, well, thats just not me. its like i dont have anything in common with these people. we dont have the same tastes in anything, so i'm just kinda there. and then its like i sorta feel like i'm dumb, which isnt gonna help me, especially next year, b/c there are only gonna be 5 people: me, val, nikki, nadi and elizabeth. monia, i know you feel my pain. thats not a pretty mix... at least this year i have audrey and kathleen that understand how i feel, and are like at the same place. i dunno. probly none of this makes any sense to any of you people. 'cept monia :-)
ehh, i dont wanna go to work today. i should probly start lookinbg for another job. but you know, it might be nice if i had like my license before then. and i dont know what to think about that. my mother says she was me to have my license, but at the same time refuses to get into a car with me. and she claims she going to "get my dad in gear and get my damn license"... but i've been waiting for about a year. so the odds of that are pretty low. or at least i think so
i think thats it... i dont know.
"as time goes by, suddenly your wise..."
-j-
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
09:42 a.m.
for all my beaumont girls, I have strep, just in case you are wondering.
so needless to say, i feel like shit. and i'm bored outta my mind cuz i've been home for 2 days, but there isn't a whole lot to do. and i'm really hungry, but I really can't eat much cuz solid foods hurt like hell to swallow. its been mainly water/orange juice/ ginger ale and then soups and popcicles. not much variety. and i'm thinking about how right now, chem would be about starting. and i miss it. i miss school. shocking, i know. but like i said, theres nothing to do here. my sister is at home, and its been madness, sorta, cuz of the animals. i decided that my cat is the devil, and is just to damn mean. she kept my sister's dog stuck in the basement for 2 hours. i felt bad for her [the dog]. but sister's home cuz my dad is still stuck in the hospital. he was suppsoed to be released either monday or yesterday, but his white blood cell count is double what it should be, and i guess he's there until it goes back to normal. so my sister has been driving me and my brother wherever we need to go. which for me hasnt been much. but o well.
outside of that there is alot going on. less than a week til my bday, and about 2 weeks til exams. i think instead of having a party for bday (just cuz of the whole dad-not-home or will only have been home for a few days deal) that i'm gonna have a birthday/finals are over party. so that would be like the 25th. i dunno if my parents will let me tho, so ill keep you guys updated.
i think i'm gonna go and take a nap...
-jannie-
Thursday, March 4, 2004
08:21 a.m.
I swear, I just wanna quit my life.
Last night, for the first time in a very long time my mother picked me up from. Cuz my father is in the hospital. But you know, I really don't know whats going on. No one really does. I talked to him this morning, and said he'd be ok, but still, i have an eerie feeling that he won't be. And all i know is the reason he stayed over night (and ihave no idea how long his stay will be) is cuz his white blood cell count was too low. which i guess makes sense, and according to my mum, the doctors say while it serious, he should be fine; if he had waited longer, he probly wouldn't be. but i dotn know. i dont know that I trust doctors.
and then theres some other crap that i dont wanna deal. i'm still not sleeping but i think last night i got a good night's sleep, which is surprising, all things considered. I didn't wake up at random times like I have been. I dont know.
I guess that's all. I dont really feel like saying anything else...
-j
Monday, March 1, 2004
12:32 p.m.
as much as i liked that quiz, i dont like the size.
Lalala, i'm still really tired. i kept waking in the middle of the night, and then my loving mother came in my room at 4:30 to use my blow dryer. i considered watching holes at that point cuz i knew i wouldn't fall back asleep, but i didnt. so i've been up since about 4:30 am, and i'm cranky. i'm currently running on a monster. i gave up on that whole no-caffeine-for-lent ordeal, and just trying to save 2 dollars a week, and not annoy my mother. Cuz i'm sure i do that alot. and i'm also trying to relax. but doesn't seem to work
ehhhh, lunch is over, i'll annoy you people later
SmOoChEs**
JaNnIe BaNaNiE
Monday, March 1, 2004
08:42 a.m.
janet's tired. yet again
so i've been reading everyones blogs, and thinking about it. i've read several entries about graduating. i dont know how i feel about it. i wanna get the hell out of my house, because i am so fucking sick of the shit i deal with from my father. i know i'm not ready to leave my brother, or my mother, but i just wanna get the hell away from that asshole. i was thinking about what its gonna be like living on my own. i already know that i can cook, clean, do laundry and iron. but i dont know. so i know i can take care of myself. but i'm also gonna throw myself into a world in which i dont know many people, if any, and have to fend for myself. and i have to part from all the people i love. meaning that while we will still stay in touch, they won't be just a carride away.
I've also thought about how this year is so close to being over. 3rd exams are in about 3 weeks (about 23 days i think). which means that i'm almost in the last quarter of my junior year. which more important to me means that wayne will soon be graduating, soon be leaving. and i already know that i'm not ready for that, and sweetie, i've known it since you told me when you were leaving.
i dont wanna say anymore, so i wont
-J
Friday, February 27, 2004
11:37 a.m.
yay, its finally friday.
I am very happy b/c last night was the first time in 2 weeks that I slept for more than 2 hours in a night. granted, it was only like 5 or 6, which isn't bad, and its a hell of alot better than 2. kitty-chan has told me (twice, lol) that i look like a racoon. and i know it was to be mean (i actually think its kinda funny) but the effects this no-sleeping-ordeal is having on my body isnt nearly as funny. I keep feeling sick, and of course I am tired, but i dunno. Theres something massively weird that I can't explain--its like you have to feel it to understand it. and I pray that most of you dont understand b/c its nowhere near nice. And I realllllllllly just wanna take a mental health day to recover... but i dont wanna call of work, i have a ton to do this weekend (which still needs to get sorted out...) and so i really dont have the time to sleep. so maybe like monday or something i can just stay home from school. I wanted to today, but well, obviously that didnt happen
so what else is going in my world?
yesterday a bunch of jesuit schools visited and the junior class was able to walk around and talk to them, and i ended up filling out a bunch of cards for schools that I probly won't go too... but me and kat decided we were gonna go to rockhart (i think thats it...) in Kansas for the cure farmboys w/ the sexy accents. Lol. And I promise you that the rep. looked exactly like this guy I know, Todd, whose in college. And I am not even joking when I say he was in my dream. He'll be my future husband, right kat? Lol, right.
yesterday I also got a ton of crap out of my bed room, including these old matress that were literally in my room for 2 years in a corner cuz I got new ones, but never felt like taking the others out. So theres a ton more room in my room and i put a bunch of pics up of my friends from like frosh year till now, so it looks all cool.
ehhhhh, lunch is over. meaning I'm off to draw, and then fail a latin vocab test (its on verbs... mo, you kno thats killer. i dunno the parts; i know all the verbs in english... but not in latin!) lol.
-j-
Thursday, February 26, 2004
11:45 a.m.
pleasant, isnt it? sam, we match
Destruction
?? Which Angel Or Demon Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
Thursday, February 26, 2004
08:24 a.m.
My newest obsession: Chicago. Thanks, Sami (and thanks for leaving me for Kairos... all by my lonesome... lol... and without any squishybagsoficecream! ahhhh, lol... hope ya having fun tho). ok, so anyways, back to chicago. I saw the movie awhile ago... sometime right when it came out. and now i have the soundtrack, which is like all i listen to. and i keep singing "all that jazz", "press conference rag" and my fave "cell block tango". i've decided thats what I want my brother to buy me too (the movie) b/c he promised to buy me a DVD for my new tv :-). gotta love the kid.
so i finally got around to changing my imood, which is completely suiting, seeing as I've not been sleeping... getting insomnia again, which is driving me up a wall. And I've become reliant on red bull and monster (they have about the same taste, but i love monster and red bull is just disgusting. but hell, if i have to drink i will. they both work). so yea, now i'm craving a monster but i've already downed on... not good man. and since i haven't been able to sleep, i've been cleaning up my room. its amazing; you can see underneath both of my beds now. Since I dont have to work tonight, I think its gonna be move-around-dressers-and-chairs-night just cuz i odnt have to worry about much else. only problem is, my back is killin' me. thats probly cuz i moved around my beds on saturday, and it took me literally an hour and a half to get them in the right spot, with the lil rug thingy-ma-do that i have underneath them. It was quite the challenge.
So I've been thinking about my schoolwork. I am actually doing homework. Not at home, but hey, at least i'm doing it. I need to get my ass in gear so that I dont fall behind in latin b/c, well, i know i am. I dont really know the declension or the conjugation endings (which probly means nothing to most of you, but bear w/ me here) and i dont really know the pronouns or their endings. and, well lets face it, i'm not a nikki or a nadi or a val or an elizabeth... they are all incredibly smart. I do have kathleen and audrey who know exactly what i'm feeling... but well, both are bailing on me next year, and its just gonna be me, nikki, nadi, and val and elizabeth (and mo, you know EXACTLY what kind of hell latin will be for me next year). its just madness
oh, note to self, register for ACT by friday.. hey, thats tomorrow, isnt? i'll be damned
so yea, thats about all thats going on in my life. or at least all that i feel like sharing
-j-
oh, btw, i think the orangest of the seniors is anna noch. someone i've known since gradeschool. lovely, isnt it?
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
12:07 p.m.
I honestly don't understand the point of tanning. The senior class looks like oranges. No joke. They're ORANGE, not tan. It's ridiculous. Who the hell has a tan in Cleveland in the winter anyhow? I guess they'll be paying for it like 20 years (if even) when the cancer comes...
sorry, but thats such a pet peeve (which i think is a funny term)
anyways, i haven't really done much. I dont know how to explain my weekend, except it was highly emotional... altho, on the plus side i got a tv and vcr/dvd player for myself (and only blew $220 that i had saved for it... ) so yea. and then yesterday i worked. found out wayne got a new car (i'm still upset he sold the van...) but have yet to 1. hear it from him (that he got a new car) and 2. see it. i dunno. i have to work tonight, and i honestly don't feel like it. my body is soooooo farking sore from god only knows what and i really need to go to like a spa or something...
ahhhhhhhhhh i have to go and draw... then go to mass... joyful...
-j-
Monday, February 23, 2004
10:33 a.m.
I dont have much to say right now, except i do not like my family, my father in particular, and i wish i could move out. [i have explained to i believe 4 people what i mean by that. i do not intend on explaining to any more, unless i feel its approiate. i know, that probly sounds really weird, but yea.]
-j-
Thursday, February 19, 2004
08:09 a.m.
random lil updates in my life:
**Sunday: cut my hair; hung out w/ wayne... sorta...
**Monday: 2 months for me and wayne; hung out w/ monica (wheres the sense in that? i dunno, but thats me for ya)
**Tuesday: worked; got a 96% on my math
**Wednesday: worked, and had a bloody miserable time (not like that) doing so.
and that brings me to today. my brain still isnt functioning correctly cuz its so damn early, and i wanna go home. i've already had a not so fun day, and knowing that i have to work tonight is a not-so-fun thought. altho, i do have wayne to make that all better. oh, and random thouhgt; reason i'm so fucking bitter about valentines day is just the fact that it sucked so badly cuz i spent the day at work. only the day part wasnt too horrible. but the night sucked. yea, i made alot of money, but still, i didnt really have a romantic v-day and if he plans on making it up, he has yet to do so. and i also didnt get nething, which isn't all that big a deal, cuz i know he needs to save his money, but that doesn't stop me from wanting something liek flowers. and i have chrissy to thank for wanting flowers (greg sent her some on friday at school, and she was fussing over it and all glowing and shit, and well, i hate to admit, but it made me jealous).
ok, so all that crap's out of the way...
this morning, for no apparent reason, i started thinking about kara schenkelberg. i miss her. she was soooo much fun just to talk to. okay, so now, i dont miss her pasty white ass, and that was something i never needed to see to begin w/, but these things happen. but seriously, she was so sweet and funny. and it was like, if you were having a bad day, she would just open her mouth and you would be laughing. yea, so she wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, but still, she was so sweet. and she was the one who started the whole 'no, my name ain't baby. its janet, miss jackson if ya nasty' and that would crack me up. i miss her, and i hope she is doing ok
peace out--
-jannie-
Friday, February 13, 2004
11:49 a.m.
fuck valentine's day
Thursday, February 12, 2004
07:52 a.m.
so i guess its finally time for an update on how i've been. I am not quite sure, actually. emotionally i've been a wreck and have wanted nothing more than to just sit down and cry. which really hasn't been a possibility b/c w/ work and everything, i haven't had time for myself. I've been considering dropping a night for a lil while, and i think if i do its gonna be Tuesday, just cuz the money I make waitressing is much better than hostessing. and i spend the night at sami's yesterday (and yes it was a school night; we were working on math together, and all of a sudden it was like 9, so her mum said i could stay). And so I really havent been home. I personally just wanna go home now and sleep, and am even considering not going into work. but i really could use some money right now, so yea.
physically, i'm completely fucked up. like i have no energy kind of fucked (get ya mind outta the gutter!) lol. but really, i'm just really tired. which is another reason why i dont really wanna go to work. plus i havent been eating right lately. Not a good thing.
wellllllll i'm gonna go to math (fun). so i'm gonna go. and mobear, dont worry about valentine's day. i think is a reallllllllllly stupid as fuck holiday.
-jannie-
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
12:47 p.m.
For your reading pleasure...
Barefoot- free, rebellious, and wild, you hate
boundries and rules. You tend to be on the
crazy side and often sweep people up along with
you. You are most likely the leader of your
group of friends. [please vote! thank you! :)]
What Kind of Shoe Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Today's been a sorta of weird day. I'm in this funk, i guess you could say. I'm really tired, and completely out of it. And there are soooooooooo many people that are pissing me off right now
I would write more, but i think i have to get to class now...
-Jannie-
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
07:55 a.m.
Mors
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
intriguing
Monday, February 9, 2004
11:43 a.m.
it's monday. i feel like crap. i was told i look like hell. i wanna go home and sleep. and i can't breath.
i had a crazy weekend. i dont know how to explain, and i dont think i want to either. some not pleasant stuff happened. and then my sister also visited; i didnt really get sleep saturday night. yesterday i was in bed around 8 and asleep around 9:30 (got a call about 9:15, and almost immediately fell asleep). so i did get plenty of sleep. but i still feel icky. and i can't stop sneezing, but its like i have allergies all of a sudden. which would be so not cool
hmmm, erin, read your blog, and i'm not sure of the days, but i can tell you that its one week and one month til my bday. and a week until its 3 months for me and wayne.
I know, I'm pathetic. but i'll live. and i'll also be heading to class now, so yea
-Jannie-
btw, my mystery person is also bothering me very much so; can't figure out who the hell it id
Thursday, February 5, 2004
08:28 a.m.
You're a Victorian-era corset. How refined.
What corset are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
How very interesting.... (thanx kat)
I feel like crap. I dunno if i've said this, but I think I'm getting really sick from working so much and school and what have you. Its driving me insane. I've also been sleep depriving, and really depressed. Its like all I wanna do is cry. I really can't explain it, its just been happening
I've become really sick of being at home. I literally dread going home, and actually haven't been complaining to much about work... i mean the hours I'm working... cuz it gets me out of the house (even if only temporarily). I guess it could be worse.
And I still have to show my parent's the report card
Which i've been hiding for about a week... not quite that long yet.... but still
I'm gonna split, b/c food is calling me...
SmOoChEs**
-jannie bananie-
Monday, February 2, 2004
12:35 p.m.
its monday. blah. but today hasn't been too horribly for a monday. we had a late arrival (in which time i ate breakfast and finished chem... which she didn't even check, so i basically made myself rush for nothing; altho, i dont have to do it tonight) and then we're having a pep rally/talent show, so the classes ended up being 45 minutes long (*gasp*... its like i'm at a normal... but i only have 4 classes. muwhaha) and its just been a weird day. mainly cuz we haven't yet had homeroom, and classes were out of order (1,2 then 4, followed by lunch, and now i'm in ILT in art... 3rd block). plus i ran into this really annoying person that used to work at vargo's and was annoying unlike any other. and then i found out that one of my teachers has been to vargo's cuz she was asking me about my job and what not so that was odd, and i'm kinda afraid of her coming and just embarrassing me so yea.
outside of that nothign else is new. i had a fun weekend (for the most part). worked friday, went to monica's for her birthday party, was not to pleased about having to leave, but i ended up feeling sick so maybe it was better; worked all day saturday, with monica which was a surprise, and of course wayne and allan, which was fun (always is :-P) and then spend the day at wayne's where i cut monica's hair and karen's, watched alice in wonderland (which i accidentally called allan in wonderland, so thats its new name) and bruce almighty, and slipped on ice. made an ass out of myslef, but what else is new? haha, and then i saw a guy dressed as a girl. now, i really didn't see them, but i've heard for alot of people that mikey has a really nice legs; i dont know. i found the whole thing funny, but i know 2 people didnt. o well. not for me to judge.
time to create art
SmOoCheS**
jannie bananie
Friday, January 30, 2004
11:43 a.m.
HaPpY BiRtHdAy MoNiCa! (and only 1 1/2 months til mine!)
Well Brian, I don't think I'll be getting those contacts... I think my prescription is to strong (i'm blind as all hell).
So I'm in a really really really really bad mood. We never had Beaumont Day (which was rescheduled for today) but all the crap that we were supposed to do is happening thru out the next couple weeks. I just got a free lunch (it was crappy pizza, but it was free) and then we're supposed to have an assembly next week where we have the talent show and winter pep assembly. oh joy, time for school spirit. and tonight's oldies dance. but i'm not going cuz i have to work, and then i'm going monica's cuz its her birthday.
and i feel like crap
its gonna be a loooooooooooooooooooooong night
-jannie bananie-
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
02:38 p.m.
well well well, another snow day. we had one yesterday too. this is just madness (not that i mind tho).
I havent really been up to much lately. been doing a lot of drawing. i find that it makes me relax a lil. and i love the teacher, sr. lucia, she's such a sweet woman. and i love the fact that i have art class after math and chem, but right before latin cuz its a nice break for all the thinking that i have to do in my other classes.
i think thats about all that i can think of. i have to work tonight, and i don't really feel like it, but i could use some money cuz i'm saving to get some awesome contacts. click here to see them; im debating between ice fire, jaguar, and cat eye. i think they're all pretty sweet; too bad its like $90 for a pair. i have enough to get a pair now, but i'd like to save about $50 more before i get them. and if i dont end up buying any of them, then the money's probly gonna go to hot topic cuz i havent been shopping for a lil while. i dunno; we'll see
welllllllllll thats all for now
-jannie bananie-
Friday, January 23, 2004
01:04 p.m.
YAY, WE HAD A SNOW DAY!
I'm happy. Not to mention lazy. I havent done shit today. But I do plan to do some drawing in a lil bit. I really like my art class. And then I have to go to work. Oh, and I found out my sister is gonna be visiting. Too bad I'll be working while she's home.
Yesterday was the march in washington. I wish i could have gone. For those of you who aren't aware of what I'm talking about, its the march in Washington DC... yesterday was the anniversary of the day abortions were made legal. And I was here. I'm very very very VERY against abortion. Oh, hey Sami, you forgot to tell me something yesterday involving abortion...
ehhh, i can't think of anything else...
J
Thursday, January 22, 2004
10:28 a.m.
I can't really think of anythign to do right now, except update here. we have this study period thingy we the school is taking club pictures. but i'm not gonna be in any cuz i'm not in dress uniform. its ridiculous if you ask me. my sister never had to put w/ this crap... why should i?
outside of that life is kinda blah. nothing really new. school is still pretty boring. work was fun last night... didnt have to put w/ jerry which is always nice.
blah
i can't think of anything entertaining to write
-j
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
07:52 a.m.
nothing's new. its wednesday. i dont particularly care for my math class... chem is, ok, i guess? and latin... its gonna be hell. alot more work than i care to do. but i love draw and design.
I still feel bloody miserable about alot of things. i'm trying to get my mother to understand whats bothering me so much. I feel like going in a corner and crying. at least i'll see wayne tonight...
Monday, January 19, 2004
01:54 p.m.
Archived.
I dunno really what to say. I feel like my life is completely pointless.
on the bright side, on friday it was 2 months for me and wayne. i wanna see him today... but i dunno.
i'm sorry, but i really can't think... theres nothing to say...
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