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Thursday, January 31, 2002 whoa. two updates in two days. go me. my good ol' friend tasha says boo on wylie. yeah, i agree sometimes. it's just a very difficult situation to get into. I know that I bitch alot about the situation, I know that I don't write nearly enough about all the good. But lets face it, drama is more interesting. Today I had a physical and my TB skin test. Ouch. I do not like needles. I have to go back on Monday to get the TB skin test read. ughhh. So, my doctor told me I'm fat. Factually, he said, "Jill, you look really good after adding these few pounds since I've seen you last." Ughm, thanks Dr. Mark, I like being fat too. The last time I saw him was after my surgery (a LONG butt time ago) and I lost alot of weight. Personally, I thought I was looking good all trimmed and pale and...skinny. I want to be skinny. Lastnight my roomates had to work (they own a security company and work at clubs during the week and weekends). I took two melatonins (God bless the person who came up with those) and went to bed around midnight. Wylie called me around 2am this morning. We talked for a little while. He had been drinking, which means that he was really nice to me on the phone. He told me that he misses me, and that he wishes I was there. He misses holding me. I miss him holding me too. So, let me get to the whole deal with my roomate situation. Jon (I may also refer to him as Scudder) and I have this unique bond. He's just getting out of a relationship, I'll be moving in 6 months and I don't need to be in a relationship or start one, so we're basically just using each other for affection. It's like we're boyfriend and girlfriend without all the other complications. There's no "Where were you lastnight?" "Who are you talking to?" Nothing at all like that. He asked me the other day to go with him to his fraternity's formal. Ehh, no thanks. I'd like to go, if I were like 20 pounds lighter, had a tan, my skin wasnt freaking out and I had a formal dress to wear. But anyhoo, lastnight/this morning when he got home from work, I was up talking to wylie. When I got off the phone he asked me again. "So, you don't want to go to the formal with me?" "Not really, sorry." "It's okay. Will you be mad if I take Kara?" "Not at all, will Cletus be mad, though?" (See, Cletus(aka Steve) and Kara kinda dated briefly. Until she did the sorroity thing and blew him off.) Sooo...that's the drama deal there. Not really any drama at all. It's just nice to have someone to go to sleep with. It's not even about the sex, really. (Don't get me wrong, it's really good and all.) Like, yesterday, I got to the house and started re-reading a book. He came home around 9:00pm from class and I told him that Dean said he needed to go in to Stampede's tonight. He wasnt at all exctided. I asked him if he wanted anything and he said he was hungry. So, I fixed him some cheese soup and a grilled cheese sandwhich. I like fixing the boys food, I like (sometimes) cleaning up after them. I like being the mom/house wife. I like taking care of them. I dunno...maybe it's my 1950's attitude about certain things, but I love being their mom.
Whoa, need to stop writing so much. Peace out. Wednesday, January 30, 2002
Wylie says:
I hate computers and I especially hate Creative Labs
That was our conversation lastnight on IM. He called me lastnight and we had a pretty decent talk. He's busy, I'm busy. He just keeps himself occupied better when it comes to thinking of me. He asked if I was still planning on moving. I told him yes. I was telling him about a little Jess/Wyndi/Justin situation and trying to show it from Jess' point of veiw, then he said "That's bull shit. First of all, if you lived here we'd be together...." So he does want to be with me. And NO that is not the reason I am moving up there. I'm moving to get away from home. To get away from everything that is here, to make a new start, a new begining and to see what else is out there in the world.
I'm really tired and I really need to get home.
Oh, by the way. I've been sleeping with my roomate Jon. It's like a boyfriend/girlfriend deal, without all the complications. It's nice, it's weird, but more importantly it's something the both of us need right now. Saturday, January 26, 2002 Monday, January 21, 2002
All is very well in the land of Jill. Living with the boys is great. It's better than great, it's fabulous. Friday night we went down to Tunica after work. Cletus came home and said, "Lets go on a road trip." And that is exactly what we did. For those of you that dont know- Tunica is a casino in Mississippi. Then yesterday morning I was woken up by Cletus and Dean jumping on my bed. "Lets do something productive today." So, we went down to Chatanooga to See Rock City. But it was closed, so we went to Ruby Falls instead. I have also found a new fear of mine- clostraphobia. I about fainted in the cave yesterday, but I'm alright now.
Work is great. Life is great.
Things with Wylie are weird, I think, I'm not sure, really. I talked to him the other night about him sleeping with another girl. I told him that it did hurt, but I didn't have the right to be hurt. I told him that the boys want to take a long road trip up to Colorado during spring break to go skiing. So, I might just be going to colorado in March. I told him, though, that if he doesnt come down to see me, then I'm not going to see him when I'm up there. Of course we all know I'm totally lying, but I can pretend right? Right.
I'm really tired and I want to finish doing laundry so I can go home and sleep.
I love my new house. Wednesday, January 16, 2002
I'm talking to one of my favorite people online right now. Oh happy day.
Well, I'm all moved in and partially unpacked. I have a lock on my bedroom door now too. YAY.
Lastnight the boys had a little get together they had been planning for a while. A little bit of beer, a few friends, a good time. I drank a little bit and hung out, Katy and Ashley came over- it was a good time. Wylie called me too. He had been drinking, but not a whole lot. He was just really tired, like me- so it was a dorky conversation. But, we started talking...doing the whole "I miss you" deal, and then he asks me a a question. "How many guys have you kissed since you've been back?" Uhmm...three, I think, something like that. You? I dont remember what he answered back. He asked "How many people have you slept with since me?" None. I lied. You? "One. We were drunk...yadda yadda yadda!!"
So, I really really hate cherry coughdrops, but that's what my mom bought me.
Friday, January 11, 2002
I'm moving this weekend. Hopefully. Well, I have to be out of my apartment by Monday at 9am (long ass story about how my landlady is the biggest whorebitch ever- one too many parties and complaints, I dunno...). So, I have to get ahold of the boys and let them know. I still don't have the 400 deposit, but what can ya do?
I had two interviews today. One I had to cancle because I was throwing up and had a fever. But I did go to my 3:00 for Hallmark. I'm pretty sure (hopefully, knock on wood) I got the assistant manager position there. The lady seemed pretty confident in thinking I would be a great addition to her store. I REALLY hope I get this.
I havent talked to Wylie in a few days. I've emailed him just about every day or every other day, but he hasnt emailed me at all. Hmmm. I tried calling him earlier today, but I'm guessing his at work or something. Who knows? I have too much on my plate right now to worry about. He just doesnt fit there anymore. Not that I don't still adore him madly, but I just dont have any room in my life right now to be stressed over him. Plus, he's not stressing over me, so it's all gravy.
MUST GET A HOLD OF SCUDDER! Wednesday, January 9, 2002
i'm still doing laundry at my parents house. i've been here for a little over 4 hours. I've been on the computer for about three. Oh my gosh...I didnt remember how tired my eyes get when I'm staring at the screen. Bleh.
You know what I need? A random person to send me LOTS of money. I wish things were that easy. Yup. Wednesday, January 9, 2002
To:Wylie
Sorry I missed your phone call lastnight. We went to my new roomies' :) house to play monopoly. Fun fun fun, then we watched Best in Show. So, before I forget, and I will, because I'm retarded with phone numbers- my new number will be 9**-****. Still *** area code.
So, on my way to my parents house tonight, I was driving towards the west side of town, and saw the sunset. The first and only thing I thought, "I wish Wylie could see this with me." Tuesday, January 8, 2002
I am about twenty minutes from loosing it completely. I came home to visit with mom, to watch some tv and get some free dinner. My dad comes home and of course is being an ass. Sometimes I really wish he werent alive. Not that I wish he were dead, just not here, not around, and totally completely be out of my life. He makes me more miserable than anyone or anything else in my life.
I am beyond stressed about money. I don't know what to do. I need alot, and I need it now. God, if I were 20 pounds lighter I would go and work at a strip club. I am 100% in desperate need of money. I hate my life so much right now.
Don't worry though, everything will be super tomorrow. I'm sure...
Tuesday, January 8, 2002
I am about twenty minutes from loosing it completely. I came home to visit with mom, to watch some tv and get some free dinner. My dad comes home and of course is being an ass. Sometimes I really wish he werent alive. Not that I wish her were dead, just not here, not around, and totally completely be out of my life. He makes me more miserable than anyone or anything else in my life.
I am beyond stressed about money. I don't know what to do. I need alot, and I need it now. God, if I were 20 pounds lighter I would go and work at a strip club. I am 100% in desperate need of money. I hate my life so much right now.
Don't worry though, everything will be super tomorrow. I'm sure...
Monday, January 7, 2002
I HATE PITAS!!!!!!!! Monday, January 7, 2002
To: Wylie@email.com
So, I've picked up some boxes from the grand ol Wally World. I'm going to start packing tomorrow. You know, dishes (because we never eat at home) and summer clothes, things I dont need now or for a while. It's weird, you know? Remember when you first moved out of your parents' home and got out on your own? Everything (for the most part) in this apartment I have paid for and belongs to me. I've spent an entire year of my life in that house, and as ghetto and horrible it is, I'm going to miss it.
Monday, January 7, 2002
So, I've picked up some boxes from the grand ol Wally World. I'm going to start packing tomorrow. You know, dishes (because we never eat at home) and summer clothes, things I dont need now or for a while. It's weird, you know? Remember when you first moved out of your parents' home and got out on your own? Everything (for the most part) in this apartment I have paid for and belongs to me. I've spent an entire year of my life in that house, and as ghetto and horrible it is, I'm going to miss it.
Now, I'll be moving in with three guys. Three guys that I dont know all too well. One that I briefly dated, one that is a really good friend of a really good friend of mine and the other, well, I can see the two of us becoming like siblings. I'm excited to move in there with responsibly people, to live in a clean house, to live in a room with painted walls that I can do whatever I want to with them. I'm sad, though, leaving Katy. Who else can I tinkle with in the bathroom while she does her hair? Who else can I cuddle with when I feel like shit. Who else can I lay with on the couch and cry about boys? I'm going to miss her waking me up at 4am when she gets home from work to tell me her latest dramatic story. I'm going to miss her alcholic ways, too.
But oh well, one year down- six months to go, right?
I was thinking, well, Jess and I were about the whole moving up there deal. See, I'll be driving up there, and so will she (she's bringing her car down for the summer so she won't be carless for 2 or 3 months.) Anyhoo, when I move up there (if I move up there) then I will be taking my new car (WHOOO!) and I'll have a teeny tiny little uhaul attached and she'll be taking her car along with her. So, it'll be the two of us in two different cars driving ALOT. Soooo...what I was thinking, since you love me and all, that what you can do is fly down here two or three days before we leave so you can help me pack and what not, and then drive with me up to Colorado. If you want to...I mean, it could be fun. That way, you can atleast come down to Tennessee once to see me. Alright? It's just a thought, and I think it would be fun.
I burned my tounge today on some hotchocolate. it hurts.
Remember that one time I told you that sometimes I have things to say, but I'm afraid to say them? Yeah, this is another one of those times.
Maybe soon, though :P
miss you, alot
jill
Sunday, January 6, 2002
Still no camera. But I don't think about it too much, otherwise I'd be terribly upset. Yup, out of sight out of mind, or something like that.
I'm sure I've briefly mentioned the fact that I love Wylie. So I'll just go into more details about why I do so. Lastnight he called me around midnight. Jess and I were watching a movie, so we didnt talk too long. Maybe twenty minutes or less. Well, I went to bed not too long after the movie went off, but was woken up at 3 this morning to the phone ringing. I answered it, thinking it was Katy or Ashley getting off work and seeing if it would be alright to bring people over (seeing as they have a habbit of doing that sometimes). It was Wylie. He said that he had woken up and just wanted to call me to say hello. We talked for about half an hour. 29 minutes to be exact. He asked if I was really going to move up there. I told him I was 97% sure that I would be. He told me he wasnt going to hold his breath, I told him he shouldnt. If I do move up there, and we do decide to see each other (which just seems natural to everyone else) then we'll have our second date and go from there. IT will NOT be an instant relationship. We will not be boyfriend and girlfriend immediately. Things will move slowly and I will make them move that way. Hmm, that is all for now. Here's a little conversation we just had on IM:
He's such a goober head. But I adore him.
Well, I'm going to finish watching The Gift.
Oh, I might be moving in with Cletus (Steve) Dean and Scutter next month. I hope so, rent will be so cheap and I won't have to deal with Kate's irresponsibility. I'll be able to afford my car, and the move to the big CO. We'll see though. Friday, January 4, 2002
Our very first keg party was lastnight. Whoo. We had alot of people roaming in our apartment, and it only got broken up once. Also, someone stole my digital camera. I am very pissed off, but I'm also hoping that I just havent found it yet.
I broke one of my new years resolutions already. I called Wylie lastnight.
I havent talked to him today, but that's alright. I havent done anything too productive. Whateva. I woke up at 10am after going to bed at 8am. I REALLY wanted this guy I used to semi date to stay- but yeah, it's probably a REALLY good thing he didnt. I was a drunk horny girl, and I think that would have been bad.
Yeah, that's about it. If I find my damn camera, I promise pictures. BUT I doubt this is going to happen. I will find it though, and I will kick some ass. Friday, January 4, 2002
Our very first keg party was lastnight. Whoo. We had alot of people roaming in our apartment, and it only got broken up once. Also, someone stole my digital camera. I am very pissed off, but I'm also hoping that I just havent found it yet.
I broke one of my new years resolutions already. I called Wylie lastnight.
I havent talked to him today, but that's alright. I havent done anything too productive. Whateva. I woke up at 10am after going to bed at 8am. I REALLY wanted this guy I used to semi date to stay- but yeah, it's probably a REALLY good thing he didnt. I was a drunk horny girl, and I think that would have been bad.
Yeah, that's about it. If I find my damn camera, I promise pictures. BUT I doubt this is going to happen. I will find it though, and I will kick some ass. Friday, January 4, 2002
Our very first keg party was lastnight. Whoo. We had alot of people roaming in our apartment, and it only got broken up once. Also, someone stole my digital camera. I am very pissed off, but I'm also hoping that I just havent found it yet.
I broke one of my new years resolutions already. I called Wylie lastnight.
I havent talked to him today, but that's alright. I havent done anything too productive. Whateva. I woke up at 10am after going to bed at 8am. I REALLY wanted this guy I used to semi date to stay- but yeah, it's probably a REALLY good thing he didnt. I was a drunk horny girl, and I think that would have been bad.
Yeah, that's about it. If I find my damn camera, I promise pictures. BUT I doubt this is going to happen. I will find it though, and I will kick some ass.
Friday, January 4, 2002
Our very first keg party was lastnight. Whoo. We had alot of people roaming in our apartment, and it only got broken up once. Also, someone stole my digital camera. I am very pissed off, but I'm also hoping that I just havent found it yet.
I broke one of my new years resolutions already. I called Wylie lastnight.
I havent talked to him today, but that's alright. I havent done anything too productive. Whateva. I woke up at 10am after going to bed at 8am. I REALLY wanted this guy I used to semi date to stay- but yeah, it's probably a REALLY good thing he didnt. I was a drunk horny girl, and I think that would have been bad.
Yeah, that's about it. If I find my damn camera, I promise pictures. BUT I doubt this is going to happen. I will find it though, and I will kick some ass. Friday, January 4, 2002
Our very first keg party was lastnight. Whoo. We had alot of people roaming in our apartment, and it only got broken up once. Also, someone stole my digital camera. I am very pissed off, but I'm also hoping that I just havent found it yet.
I broke one of my new years resolutions already. I called Wylie lastnight.
I havent talked to him today, but that's alright. I havent done anything too productive. Whateva. I woke up at 10am after going to bed at 8am. I REALLY wanted this guy I used to semi date to stay- but yeah, it's probably a REALLY good thing he didnt. I was a drunk horny girl, and I think that would have been bad.
Yeah, that's about it. If I find my damn camera, I promise pictures. BUT I doubt this is going to happen. I will find it though, and I will kick some ass. Friday, January 4, 2002
Our very first keg party was lastnight. Whoo. We had alot of people roaming in our apartment, and it only got broken up once. Also, someone stole my digital camera. I am very pissed off, but I'm also hoping that I just havent found it yet.
I broke one of my new years resolutions already. I called Wylie lastnight.
I havent talked to him today, but that's alright. I havent done anything too productive. Whateva. I woke up at 10am after going to bed at 8am. I REALLY wanted this guy I used to semi date to stay- but yeah, it's probably a REALLY good thing he didnt. I was a drunk horny girl, and I think that would have been bad.
Yeah, that's about it. If I find my damn camera, I promise pictures. BUT I doubt this is going to happen. I will find it though, and I will kick some ass. Friday, January 4, 2002
Our very first keg party was lastnight. Whoo. We had alot of people roaming in our apartment, and it only got broken up once. Also, someone stole my digital camera. I am very pissed off, but I'm also hoping that I just havent found it yet.
I broke one of my new years resolutions already. I called Wylie lastnight.
I havent talked to him today, but that's alright. I havent done anything too productive. Whateva. I woke up at 10am after going to bed at 8am. I REALLY wanted this guy I used to semi date to stay- but yeah, it's probably a REALLY good thing he didnt. I was a drunk horny girl, and I think that would have been bad.
Yeah, that's about it. If I find my damn camera, I promise pictures. BUT I doubt this is going to happen. I will find it though, and I will kick some ass. Friday, January 4, 2002
Our very first keg party was lastnight. Whoo. We had alot of people roaming in our apartment, and it only got broken up once. Also, someone stole my digital camera. I am very pissed off, but I'm also hoping that I just havent found it yet.
I broke one of my new years resolutions already. I called Wylie lastnight.
I havent talked to him today, but that's alright. I havent done anything too productive. Whateva. I woke up at 10am after going to bed at 8am. I REALLY wanted this guy I used to semi date to stay- but yeah, it's probably a REALLY good thing he didnt. I was a drunk horny girl, and I think that would have been bad.
Yeah, that's about it. If I find my damn camera, I promise pictures. BUT I doubt this is going to happen. I will find it though, and I will kick some ass. Wednesday, January 2, 2002
Happy New Year.
My great aunt in South Carolina has a tumor on her breast. She can either have it removed or have radiation on it. She'll decide on Friday what she'll do.
My mom came into the office to tell me, tears in her eyes. What makes me sad is that the tears weren't for Opal, they were because of my dad. He makes her cry, and that breaks my heart. I want so much more for my mother than what she has. Which is usually, a frustrated mind and a broken heart.
My new year's eve? Well, at the moment, the story just doesnt seem as funny. But I'll tell it anyways.
Around 8pm Jessica and I started to drink. We had planned that we would go to Stampedes (where Katy works) so we could all be together. 3 shots of 151 and Jess is gone. I sip min because I have to drive the three minutes it takes to get there. At about 11:30 (after Jess throws up) we get in the car to go to the old 'pedes.
Jessica falls asleep in the car, we both miss the ball drop, and Jess stays in my car (in the lovely 10 degree wheather) for three hours. It was funny.
After I partied hardy, and we were all ready to go, me and three guy friends went back to my house. Jessica went straight upstairs (after trying to go to a different apartment building) and lay down in my bed. I put tons of blankets on her and extra socks. I had to make up for leaving her in my car for three hours.
The boys and I drink so more, and I finally realize who this Sean guy is. (a guy that i picked up for myself). He's the old SRO officer at my old high school. The kid is 31. I laughed alot, and then thought about how weird this was...Oh well, though... Katy and Ashley got off work around 5:30ish and came home. We drank some more and more, and then finally Sean and I went upstairs. To sleep, naturally.
There's alot of details I'm leaving out, and I'm okay with that. There are somethings you just dont need and probably dont want to know. But I had fun, and lots of it.
Wylie called too. He was pissed off about something. He was extremely drunk and mad at everyone. He begged me to move to Colorado. I told him that if I move it will be for myself. Of course him wanting me to be there makes it easier to make my decision.
I know youre thinking how can I do things with other guys if I care so much about Wylie? It's pretty easy, to be honest with you. You see, Wylie and I are emotionally together, mentally together, but by far are we physically together. I keep my mind off of him by being with other guys. Call me a whore, I've heard worse. And I don't care.
Here are a few of my resolutions:
We'll see how this goes, alright?
Wednesday, January 2, 2002
Happy New Year.
My great aunt in South Carolina has a tumor on her breast. She can either have it removed or have radiation on it. She'll decide on Friday what she'll do.
My mom came into the office to tell me, tears in her eyes. What makes me sad is that the tears weren't for Opal, they were because of my dad. He makes her cry, and that breaks my heart. I want so much more for my mother than what she has. Which is usually, a frustrated mind and a broken heart.
My new year's eve? Well, at the moment, the story just doesnt seem as funny. But I'll tell it anyways.
Around 8pm Jessica and I started to drink. We had planned that we would go to Stampedes (where Katy works) so we could all be together. 3 shots of 151 and Jess is gone. I sip min because I have to drive the three minutes it takes to get there. At about 11:30 (after Jess throws up) we get in the car to go to the old 'pedes.
Jessica falls asleep in the car, we both miss the ball drop, and Jess stays in my car (in the lovely 10 degree wheather) for three hours. It was funny.
After I partied hardy, and we were all ready to go, me and three guy friends went back to my house. Jessica went straight upstairs (after trying to go to a different apartment building) and lay down in my bed. I put tons of blankets on her and extra socks. I had to make up for leaving her in my car for three hours.
The boys and I drink so more, and I finally realize who this Sean guy is. (a guy that i picked up for myself). He's the old SRO officer at my old high school. The kid is 31. I laughed alot, and then thought about how weird this was...Oh well, though... Katy and Ashley got off work around 5:30ish and came home. We drank some more and more, and then finally Sean and I went upstairs. To sleep, naturally.
There's alot of details I'm leaving out, and I'm okay with that. There are somethings you just dont need and probably dont want to know. But I had fun, and lots of it.
Wylie called too. He was pissed off about something. He was extremely drunk and mad at everyone. He begged me to move to Colorado. I told him that if I move it will be for myself. Of course him wanting me to be there makes it easier to make my decision.
I know youre thinking how can I do things with other guys if I care so much about Wylie? It's pretty easy, to be honest with you. You see, Wylie and I are emotionally together, mentally together, but by far are we physically together. I keep my mind off of him by being with other guys. Call me a whore, I've heard worse. And I don't care.
Here are a few of my resolutions:
We'll see how this goes, alright?
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