Friday, November 1, 2002, 2:41 pm
yesterday, habbo hotel gave me two free credits. yay! =)
yesterday was halloween. I wore a costume. genie in the bottle outfit. Boy did I attract a whole lot of attention. Got it at freddrick's hollywood (however u spell that place)
I need a new host! Sucks that tyness kicked me out. = found out that the hacker and ty knows each other. wow! What a small world. Maybe Ty just gave out my name cause baggman did sound pretty familiar to me. I was trying to figure out where it came from. =( Well I have to go look for a new host. Cya
*sigh*
Oh and about Kenny... we talked. la la la la. He seems nice. but i like talking more online than in person. I bet he doesnt' like me anymore since we started "talking". I know that once people get to know me, they won't like me anymore. I guess, all I am is just cuteness. ^__~ jk
Tuesday, October 29, 2002, 2:30 pm
metallica- nothing else matters
Gosh! That songs seems complicated to learn. Mario was playing me that song with his electric guitar. =) He still hasn't given me the strings for my guitar yet. Because he accidently snapped the E string. Blah! I gotta get strings for myself. But how will I get them? I don't have a car or a ride to the mall or a guitar shop.
=/ Blah! All I need is an E string. hmmm.
Monday, October 28, 2002, 3:39 pm
What the hell does Fuji mean? I see it on my acoustic, sewing machine, and my digi cam. o.O
Found out who likes me. It's Kenny. I know who he is. I would have never thought it was him. Interesting.
Ok! Winter Formal. yay (sarcasm) I have a serious headache right now. Too much of this one song my sister keeps playing over and over again. shes considering of being a singer or whatever. >_< She bought this lame Telex thing that broke after two days. Interesting. Blah! School is boring. Mario is thinking of bringing a limo to the winter formal. =X bad idea. I don't have a date, but I have a feeling Kenny is going to ask me. hmmm. I only wanted Christopher, but he's not going. agh well.. I'm bored. I'ma go do homework.
OH YEAH!
LOL! I saw this one guy while walking out of the 100 building. =D HE WAS SO CUTE!!! HE LOOKS EXACTLY, and i mean.. EXACTLY like my "husband" Subaru Sumeragi!!! hehe.e. I claim Subaru as my husband because he's so damn HOT and has the sweet attitude. =) So yeah.. blah. i would have never found someone that looks exactly like him. Side burns are so cool. ^__~
Oh and another.. They are shooting another movie or whatever in our school again. Blah poly. If you want to see a music video that is OBVIOUSLY shot at poly.. that would have to be the music video: Siimple Plan- I'm just a kid.
I mean.. our mascot is like.. right there!! THE JACK RABBIT! American Pie was also shot at our school. and .. a lot more. So no more PE for a whole week because of the damn movie thing. I'll bring my digital camera to take a picture of it. (if i remmeber to)
Sunday, October 27, 2002, 9:47 pm
Hmm... let's start from.... saturday.
*clears throat*
Saturday started out ok. Sister left at 2 to go buy a scanner, some music mixer, and a headphone. I called Christopher Bederio for the first time after 2 years.
Official Converesation!
Me: May I speak to Chris?
Chris: Yes, this is me
Me: Hey Chris! This is Jen
Chris: Huh? Jen?
Me: Yeah... jenearly
Chris: um.. Sorry... I'm still not sure
Me: From Ninth grade.
Chris: oohhh. Hi
Me: hehe. Yeah well I like.. found your number through a
pile of rubbish. and i just.. decided to call.
Me: Are you going to the winter formal?
Chris: ehhe. no. no money
Me: Oh. hehe.
Chris: What school do you go to now?
Me: *silence* Poly
Chris: oh
Me: have you forgotten how I look like?
Chris: hehehe. yeah
Me: Oh.. hmm. yeah well i see you around a lot
Chris: oh.. hehe. well can you call back. i have to do
something really quick.
me: Okey dokey.
blah! Convo didn't turn out good at all. He didn't seem like he wanted to be a part of it at all.. but he has a nice voice. *sigh*
I called him today again. =) but he wasn't there.. now he's avoiding me i think. I shouldn't call him anymore. I'll just annoy him as hell in person.
oh and about the scanner. i have an extra 7 pictures of myself in the computer now.. agh. upload em later.
Friday, October 25, 2002, 1:59 pm
Well today was good. There wasn't a second where i felt alone. Nancy said hi to me and gave me a hug cause we haven't actually talked. We used to be good friends back in ninth grade. Yesterday, Stephanie told me that there's a guy that has a crush on me. Hmmm.
Anyways..
chemistry - B (I honestly deserve a C)
Gov/Econ- C (I honestly deserve a B)
Geometry- B
English 7-8 pacesetters- B ( I honestly deserve an A)
I don't know what I got for the other classes. but PE i know I got an A.. I mean, come on. I don't get cramps for no reason. >*(
Typingkeyboarding i know I got an A.
so yeah, that's my progress report grade. Oh well. One C, that's ok. right? >_< I deserve a B though. I tried my best on my homework and the test. = I just forgot to turn in the mixed review. Damnit, gov/econ isn't supposed to be hard. Next semester I'll switch to someone easier because it doesn't interest me. Most of the time it seems like he's telling us how things are supposed to be like.
Well ok. Now for today. I'm going to the winter formal. =D I'll be wearing my prom dress that I wore two years ago to Lee's prom. er, yeah, that one. Winter Formal... I kind of don't want to go, but I do have a feeling that if I don't go, I will indeed regret it. But what about pictures? The pictures will total the cost of the winter formal ticket. This should be exciting, I should go. Or should i? I know for sure that I won't dance because nobody will ask me to dance. And because I don't know how to dance.
I remember ninth grade winter formal. A few people asked to dance because they wanted to make it worth my money. (how nice of them) and my date kept on going somewhere else.
Right now, I'm going with my friends. If I was to have a date, I will only let that person be Christopher Bederio. Today I wanted to say hi to him so badly. But my friend Deter came up to me and we started talking. I saw Chris past by, I could've said hi. I was soooo close to saying hi to him but I hesitated and just watched him past by. I mean... I was actually about to spill it and say HI CHRIS! But.. I couldn't do it. I mean, I felt myself breathing out the words in my head, but just couldn't say it. HOw could I let that time slip me by? It was the perfect time. Why didn't I say hi to him?
I think it's because I had a feeling he wouldn't say hi back maybe? Or maybe he wont' turn around? = I don't know. AGH! hmm.. I should call him? Or should I? UGH! Nah i shouldn't. It would be silly of me to do so
Wednesday, October 23, 2002, 8:59 pm
http://www.gfxartist.com/images/EliteGalleryItem/full/5294.jpg
MEOW
Monday, October 21, 2002, 8:39 pm
This reply got me smiling all day:
Thanks
I use to draw men too, but i don't like it a lot....(i don't know why )
Your boyfriend!!! ^_^ virtually maybe.... if you're a girl nice to draw you could be my muse! Oh i forgot you must have wings
-----Original Message-----
From: winejar5
To: zancan
Sent: Sunday, 20 October 2002
Subject: Hello
You must really like drawing girls. ^_~
Will you be my boyfriend? JK! Love your artwork! I really
do.
--Jenearly
Ok well... today was a good day. ::blushes:: He thinks im an angel. hahaha ::blushes:: AGH! Anyways.. um. uh. TODAY I GOT THE HAPPY TREE FRIENDS TSHIRT!! YAY! I tried it on and it fits perfectly. I love it i love it i love it i love it i love it!!!! I'll put it on and take a picture of it someday, i promise!! First I have to show it off to my friends and all. I know they'll be terribly jealous of that shirt. BWAHAHHA!!!
Well lately I felt a little lonely without the hacker being around. For some reason I miss him. o.O Maybe it's because he's so ..*mysterious* that makes me want to know who he is. Hmmm.. o.O
Today's school was ok. Kim Trong-vu said hi to me today. Sister called her a hoe just because she has so many boyfriends. (my sister calls everybody a hoe....) *she is too* ... Where am i going with this? o.O hope she doesn't read this. BWAHAHAHAA!!!! I love the shirt!!!! iMA NEVER TAKE IT OFF!!!
Sunday, October 20, 2002, 5:58 pm
Well...the hacker is still on to us. For some reason he won't leave us alone. First off, he hacked into my profile that's in my...info thingymabobber then he IMed me two days later asking me why he's not number one anymore on that friend list thing that I made. So then I said I don't know who he is. Long pause then he said "why not number 1733?" That's supposedly supposed to be my address.
Wel at that point I didn't think anything was serious. Maybe he's just one of those wanabe hackers who figured out my password and then got this information from me. THEN he asked what major I was in, then questioned if it was graphic designer. From then on i knew he was a hacker or a stalker. One of those two. but the hacker one was right. he was reading my IMs and all. Told sister (which I shouldn't have) and then she started to really bug me by going on her screen name. So then he started scaring me by saying these phrases which were from this interview that i've done for class. He was even reading my IMs.
So later I blocked him and was downloading zonealarm he told me to check my email. So when I did, he said he wasn't going to hack into our computer anymore. And that he did nothing or tried nothing to try and harm us. Which is a lie, I think he purposely tried to scare me by proving that he did hack into my computer. Obviously, he was reading the stuff that was in my computer to me. >_< gosh! That is scary! So after the zone alarm thingymabobber, I felt more secure and later made a new screen name.
He somehow still got through, even when I got a firewall. Weird, how does he do it? So today Jephree and I were talking about the hacking. The hacker IMed Jephree and Jephree started to threaten him. He somehow was still reading my IMs and his also. He said he was curious, that is why he IMed him in the first place. But all of a sudden Jephree signed off so I asked the hacker why on earth is he still doing this if he said he was going to stop?
He told me that he did stop for a while till we dled an anti-hacking system firewall thingymabobber and that he just wanted to see if he can go through it. And obviously, he did. He apologized for everything, just like he was being reasonable with me. >_< Sister kept walking back and fourth that I had to X out of the conversation just so she wouldn't know that I was talking to him. But he made sure that this time it was the end and that he wouldn't hack into our computer anymore. I don't know if that is the truth or not. Knowing how naive I am. If u lie to me once, Ill believe you, if i catch you lying to me, i will never believe you again. I work in weird ways. I want to go on itsjenearly again. This new sn looks crappy with all the numbers. All the original ones are taken. >_< Damn piece of crap.
Anywho, no more hacking.. i guess. He stil remembers my passwords, even for this journal and the profiler and the deviantart and...whatever else. o.O I should change it but what's the harm? Everybody knows my passwords. I can always get another.
Saturday, October 19, 2002, 11:35 am
lalalla. This morning i kept thinking about what could happen if I was to call Chris. i still have his phone number in my old organizer. Should I call him? Pretty funny how i switch from guys to guys. = But Chris... hes one of kind. how does he get me hooked like this? For almost 4 years now.
Well what i was thinking about was what if i called him and then he confesses his undying love for me or he might just make some excuse that he has to go or something. OR he might just stay quiet and i'll just keep on ramble on and on about nothing or about how much i think about him.
Friday, October 18, 2002, 8:08 pm
I should really stop thinking about him. The more i think about him, the more I like him. That's horrible. anyways. The fair was......... horrible. Actually, it's ok. I was hoping that somebody was to give me a rose. anybody. I don't care how or who, I don't care where.. whatever. Just give me a damn rose. Well anyways.. California..
California skipped fall. It went from summer to Winter.
Gosh! Ok so anyways.....
Today turned out ok after all. I love my friends.
http://www.rekineffects.com/~ty/hehe.zip
that's just the sweetest. =D
Thursday, October 17, 2002, 10:02 pm
AGH!! GET THAT FLY AWAY FROM ME!
Hmmm.. looks like im back to typing in journal every day and feeling down cause there's nothing to do. No more games. No more boyfriend. No more real friends. Where have they gone? Hmmm.. Blackmoon doesn't seem so fun anymore. Now knowing that it lags so much. *sigh*
It seems like I attract hackers or something. Why do they always hack me. = I didn't od anything. Atleast I don't think so. =X It would've been better if it was a stalker. If it was a stalker then I'd atleast feel special and have the secure feeling that he won't do anything horrible other than snooping through my stuff. But if it's a stranger, they'll do just about everything to just try things out. *sigh*
I somewhat feel depressed from all of this. And there's this fly that just loves me. >_< GET IT THE HELL AWAY FROM ME! *sigh*
Anyways. School sucks. Chris finally took notice of me today. ::blushes::: tomorrow fair. Damn. I'm such a loser. agh. gotta dl zone alarm now
Thursday, October 17, 2002, 3:08 pm
WEEE!
TODAY WAS PRETTY COOL! I was dressed up as Yoko Kanno and boy did I attract a lot of attention. Everybody complimented my outfit because it was unique.
Just picture this:
long skirt and short skirt on top of it with pants inside the long skirt. and i wore black sandles.
for the top i wore a black tang top and a revealing blue shirt over it but with a black and white halter top on top of it.
For the head I wore a blue bandana and black shades.
today I just had to make Chris see me. I know he was looking. *sigh* I wish I get a rose tomorrow. I wish Chris gives me a rose tomorrow. I WANT A ROSE!!!!!
I WANT A ROSE I WANT A ROSE I WANT A ROSE I WANT A ROSE I WANT A ROSE I WANT A ROSE I WANT A ROSE! I only want a rose from either Jacob or Chris Bederio. ONLY TWO PEOPLE I WILL ACCEPT ROSES FROM! And if i do get a rose, i'll go straight to the bathroom and cry my eyes out. tomorrow i'm bringing my camera to the fair to take random pictures. Maybe of the popular girls and of myself looking like i just woke up. LOL!
hmmm. then how am i going to get a rose if no one wants to talk to me? Ok i gotta look perdy. homecoming dance.. very useless, but im going anyways. i gotta go do my eyebrows.
Wednesday, October 16, 2002, 1:57 pm
Gosh, all of a sudden I feel like I need a boyfriend. Few years back there were plenty of guys waiting for me. What about now? now that i left lee and owen, I can't help but feel like there's nobody there for me anymore. Owen left me to go to another state and I left Lee cause I knew there's better out there. heck, I still love that decision i made. ^^ Owen helped me ofcourse.. But now I have no one. agh. First time in two years. Before I was happy single. I wasn't even boy crazy. Well, I talked about guys and such (typical teenage girl) but I wasn't so serious about it.
anyways.. point is... I MISS MY OLD LIFE!!!! MY FRESHMEN YEAR! Even though I was a rebel and cried every night once i got home, but everywhere else, I was kick ass. ^^ i felt special everytime I enter school. I know if I was to change that one moment in Mr. Darch's class, I might have been voted prom queen later. Iono.. just a guess. LOL i highly doubt it, but everybody knew me and liked me. I had a few enemies but I dont' even know them. = I miss those old days so much.
Now, it seems like I'm just away from the crowd. I have only one friend that i talk to everyday. The rest of my supposed friends look down on me just because I had boyfriends. (she's sexist...i guess) =( I'm so lonely. I feel like i need a romantic relationship or something.. WEEEE
Red roses on my desk and someone waiting for me after class. Someone talking to me like a written poem. WAAAAH!!! lOL. I know guys like that don't exist. But hey, I can dream.
*sigh* the guy currently in my wishlist (corny but can't help it) is Chris Bederio. let's see, the only reason I have a crush on him right now is because ever since ninth grade I did. Ever since then, he has always been in my list. >_< i can't believe ms darch embarrised me infront of everyone in the whole class. *sigh* o well, he's way out of my league. he's one of those surfers or whatever. ^^ He's so hot!
agh! gotta get ready for school.
Tuesday, October 15, 2002, 9:01 pm
ohh.. Live Journal. I would go to live journal but I have something against with things that are too popular.
well today was senior mob shot. blargh! We were going to plan to match and stuff but inside my head i was just thinking about how corny that would be. So when the day came everybody was matching. >_< I was so envious! Damn those beautiful people. I'm left out in the dark. =X O well. I'll kick super ass as soon as I get rid of these pimples. hmm.. herbal facial cream. hmm. eh, atleast it's working.. anyways.
Lately, i've been a game freak. I even wrote an essay about it for Pacesetter english. Games that i've probably already mentioned is Ragnarok and Priston Tale. Now it's shininglore which I will uninstall any day now then get BlackMoon Chronicle. heehee. I already got two of my friends to get it even though I didn't get it yet but I will. woohoo. That game looks kick ass
OMG! i haven't been online ONLINE in so long that i forgot basic html. AGH!! *knock knock* reality check! damnit.
COLLEGE! OH NO!! I GOTTA WORRY ABOUT COLLEGE!! ah nm. I'ma go to city college.. here's the link to black moon chronicle if anybody wants to check it out:
http://www.blackmoon-online.com/Community/index.aspx
Tuesday, October 8, 2002, 7:22 pm
Haven't written in here in quite a while.
why?
PT PT PT PT PT PT PT PT PT PT PT
Priston Tale.... two nights ago it became p2p. argh!!!! o well. I took about an infinite amount of screen shots. =D i'll upload em later. (that's what I always say) Heck 'll do it right now. nah.
not much to talk about cause i forgot them. Oh yeah. school started (did i mention that already?) School sucks.
what's going on in here. nobody posted anything. hmmmmm. =(
Monday, September 2, 2002, 8:51 am
Well before i start the real story. I would really like to congrats myself for reaching level 30 before school starts. *bows* thank you, thank you. My PT friends are the best.
OK. I just found out that Owen and my ex were talking with each other last night. I don't know what they were tlaking about yet but I will. *sigh* I feel a bit uneasy about the whole thing. grrrrrrrrrr!
Saturday, August 24, 2002, 2:35 pm
Well before i start the real story. I would really like to congrats myself for reaching level 30 before school starts. *bows* thank you, thank you. My PT friends are the best.
OK. I just found out that Owen and my ex were talking with each other last night. I don't know what they were tlaking about yet but I will. *sigh* I feel a bit uneasy about the whole thing. grrrrrrrrrr!
Saturday, August 24, 2002, 2:35 pm
AAAAH!!!! SCHOOL IS STARTING REALLY SOON!!!! MAIN OBJECTIVE: TO REACH LEVEL 30 BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS!!!! YEAH BABY YEAH!!! 2 more weeks till school starts. God damnit!!! i don't want to go to school. I don't even have any school suplies. Not even a folder nor paper nor even a backpack. Crap! Oh well. i'll use my old beat up folder and steal my sister's paper, pencil and pen. and uuhh.. steal her backpack too.
Wednesday, August 21, 2002, 11:56 am
Let's see. yesterday sucked! Yesterday morning I was getting ready to walk to poly high school so I can enroll. Then sister said she's going to take me so I said whatever. She started complaining that she's going to be late. Then she kept on telling me to hurry up and grab her keys so we can get the hell out of there. I grabbed her car keys and my keys were infront of my face and I IGNORED IT!!!!!!! So so on we just left. While I was in line to get in I was thinking of Owen then later something came to my attention. I forgot my keys. How the hell am I going to get inside. Then my optomism came to me saying that my sister has to be home by 11. So once I finished enrolling I came home at around 9 ish. I waited for sister for a while and noticed a dollar in my pocket. I went to the "Twin Tower's Market" for a chesters fries. mmmmm. YUM! I walked around for about 3 hours then finally asked my neighbor for two dollars so I can take the bus to la la land.
Well yeah... Took the bus to no where. Well, more like wherever the bus takes me then when I find something cool I get off there and take the bus back. While on the bus there was a few places I wasn't familiar with. Then I saw cal state long beach. That's far from home. Then later saw Eldorado Park, that's a whole lot farther from home. Then I asked the bus driver lady if she knows what bus will take me to orange and pch. When she said this bus goes back there that's when I stayed and later on saw Long Beach Town Center. yayayayay! Dropped off there and pretty much walked around without going in anything except game planet.
then tried calling to see if my mom was home so she could pick me up but no. so I took the bus back home and still she wasn't there. At that time it was like four oclock. So I waited and waited until one of my neighbors showed up and kept me company and gave me water. =D Then finally my mom came and I was all.. Yippy!
Grabbed the computer almost started the game till my mom told me to get off cause she needs the phone and then told me to get water and eggs. First I said "HELL NO, I'M TIRED!!" then later on with the "I've been working all day and we need water and we need eggs" I finally went and got it. Then when i got back it seemed like she was done wiht the phone call so I went back online. Then went back off cause my mom wanted to make more phone calls. Then she got mad and started calling me hooker. I went upstairs and called her a bitch a long the way. She heard it =X and ran upstairs and grabbed a belt. The first two whips was to teach me a lesson and the rest was because of my stubborness. The whips did not hurt me at all so I kept telling her to keep doing it because...it didn't hurt and i thought i'd act tough. then next she didn't use that anymore and started to pinch my ears. that hurted like hell but I kept my head up and started back with my stubborness and tleling her what i hated about her. What she didn't like was how I was screaming it out so loud for everyone to hear. then she slapped me and kept on asking me to scream it out again and so i did and she repeatedly slapped while I repeatedly yelled. Then she finally quit. after she left the first time I threw the remote at the wall and there she came again and started wacking me with the remote. Then I was telling my mom how much I wanted to die because I was nothing to world anyways. Besides, her favorite daughter is my sister. All she talk about in the phone is how much good she is and bla bla bla and how bad I am for causing so much trouble to her. hah. I'm glad I did cause that much stress on her. It's only a pay back for what she's done to me. So yeah she punched in the face three or was it two times. One of those. I kept asking her to give me a bloody nose. That would be better. If I had the nerve or the guts or one of those people that doesn't think about the concequences I would've hit her back. But I would never do that.
Then the fight finally ended when my sister came by. Told her I don't like to be called a whore or anything like that. I kept saying I was going to kill myself today then next week and bla bla bla.. LOL. I wouldn't... But at that time I would've. If i had a gun in my hand or at that time I would've shot myself to death. If I had a razor, I would've slit myself. but I have a problem getting over things fast. I do want to live my life with total happiness. I do one day want to have a family. I do one day want to be a professional photography and a dandy web designer. And hopefully one day build computers as a hobby. I also want to visit other states and countries just for the record. Yeah well... Sorry to burst my mom's bubble, but uh.. I'm not going to kill myself. I can't believe I even told her that. That's so stupid of me.ARgh! She told me to starv myself to death or run into a train so she can have insurence money. I don't know how after this we're going to get a long. I'm just not going to go on the computer much..
Friday, August 16, 2002, 10:54 pm
Well Owen is ok. He was online yesterday. =) We talked. Atleast he's safe that is. *sigh* But I horribly miss him. It's going to be till December when we see each other again. all of a sudden I'm starting to feel depressed about the whole thing again. Damn. He's everything that I want. Ok, well a whole lot of stuff missing. *yawns* I'm so sleepy. 11:01 PM. I should go to sleep. I've been playing Priston Tale all that time i've been online. hehe. Not as good as Ragnarok Online though. Argh. i heard it's going to be p2p for RO. eh. I changed my sn to "MomoiroOushi". It means Pink Ox. Mom is telling me to get off but I need 6 more minutes. Angel is sending me a song by Gabriela Robin. One of yoko kanno's "twin". *giggles* Ok, that isn't certain yet. Cya now.
Thursday, August 15, 2002, 4:26 pm
Damn! Where is Owen.???? I don't know where he is. Well, umm.. just the rochester part. He promised me an email once he gets home, but he hasn't replied to me yet. I'm worried as hell. He didn't even talk to his dad. It's been almost two days now and I miss him so much. I hope nothing happened to him. Even his best friend isn't online to tell me what's going on. There is no way he can't email me. His best friend should tell me what's going on. Or he should tell his friend to tell me this. Argh. Do I mean anything to him? Makes me wonder. But I hope nothing happened to him. = Damn. I hate being in the blue. I really hope Owen is ok.
btw, if anyone in here wants to help me. Please oh please oh please keep this sn. It's Owen's sn and if he's online, ask him what's going on? y'know. well. here it is: Sauron909 and kuraiohitsuji
thank you if you are going to help me.
Wednesday, August 14, 2002, 7:26 am
Let's see, lately I've been....out. =) Never been out so much before. Saturday went to a birthday party of Cholo's mom's and sister. I got kind of mad at Owen for dragging me to play basketball. for some reason I felt like being mad at him. =P A kitten was there. Awww. It was so cute. =D Owen kept on taking it away from me. >( Besides, he loves animals. Well, did i say anything about the another week thing? I think I did. Well, he's leaving today. It's 7 in the morning and I was supposed to wakeup at around 4 or 5 ish to talkto him until he leaves. = but, i woke up when the construction workers started drilling the streets. It''s a good thingthat they did or else I wouldn't have ever woken up. Weird, I don't think the rooster is even there anymore. I was depending on it to wake me up so early again cause t always did and I swear I could've went crazy. pic of rooster and Pictures of Owen. Yesterday I saw xXx. the movie was ok. Kind of predictable but oh well. oh no. mom is awake. i gotta go
Sunday, August 11, 2002, 7:27 pm
i8gook (7:14:47 PM): hey you
i8gook (7:20:10 PM): hello?
itsjenearly (7:20:30 PM): Hello?
itsjenearly (7:20:32 PM): who is this?
i8gook (7:20:39 PM): it's nara
itsjenearly (7:20:43 PM): nara?
i8gook (7:20:47 PM): sup
i8gook (7:20:52 PM): dont u remember me?
itsjenearly (7:20:58 PM): not really
itsjenearly (7:21:03 PM): well im kind of busy right now
itsjenearly (7:21:04 PM): sorry
itsjenearly (7:21:11 PM): i'll add u to my buddylist and talk to you later
i8gook (7:21:12 PM): shut the fuck up and suck my dick whore
itsjenearly (7:21:12 PM): bye bye
i8gook (7:21:17 PM): hey bitch
i8gook (7:21:20 PM): you ain't goin nowhere
itsjenearly (7:21:23 PM): ???
i8gook (7:21:24 PM): now bow down and sucky sucky
itsjenearly (7:21:25 PM): oh really
i8gook (7:21:28 PM): yea
i8gook (7:21:33 PM): get at me girl
itsjenearly (7:21:33 PM): ok well.. bye
i8gook (7:21:37 PM): brign ti on
i8gook (7:21:40 PM): and ill bring it out
i8gook (7:21:47 PM): lemme shooot at u
i8gook (7:22:25 PM): kfajfdla
Auto response from itsjenearly (7:22:25 PM): brb.
Sick ass fucking bastard. well, he warned me up to 10% then i warned him up to 35%. cool ay? hehehe.. well, i should really get a new screen name. Cause that's starting to really annoy me.
Thursday, August 8, 2002, 4:31 pm
Well, I got a new game called Priston Tale. Something to replace my poor Ragnarok Online that will be gone for another three months. man! If i was paying for that game, I would've gotten a refund by now. *sigh* Oh yeah, good news: Owen is staying for another week! yay! another week!! Before, he was supposed to be leaving today at noon. But his dad made a mistake and now he has to leave next week. I hope this can keep happening. A week then another week. eee! Ok well, Owen and I are fine. Still going out and happy. don't know when the happiness is going to disapear, but we'll see. Ok, i'ma go play priston tale. Cya
Wednesday, August 7, 2002, 4:01 pm
Damn! Owen is leaving tomorrow at noon. Damn! What the hell am I going to do? Argh, i just thought I should call owen right now. But then, I just remembered that my mom just left and that she will be back any minute now. Damn, she is always ruining everything. Just a few minutes ago she was telling me that she would bash my head open if I go online. Damnit. If only I went out today so i wouldn't have to listen to my mom going on and on about crap. Today I had to go to the ephs thing. Sister was about to head out till my mom came home. Once I was done with the test and everything, I realized that my mom went somewhere. So I waited and waited which felt more than an hour (but it was just 40 minutes) and then finally she came. I was angry for the first two minutes till I got hungry. Choices were Jack in the Box or loath Cha.(Fav. Cambodian food.. mmmmm) Instead I got Mie Gathang. Eh, good enough.
I took a few pictures of the chicken. The new chicken. I don't know which one it is. A chicken or a rooster. I think it's a rooster and then again I remembered when i thought it was a chicken. Yeah, it haven't been out in a long time so it looks totally different. It woke me up this morning too. I felt like killing it. it was that darn rooster/chicken and this door that kept shutting then open then shut again. Argh! Felt like killing someone there. Eh, I woke up at around 8 something just so I can talk to Owen online. I'm going to horribly miss him. I made a total of 38 flowers and I couldn't find the green tape to make this kabob sticks look like stems. *sigh* Oh well. It's not like I'll get to give it to him. If only I started on it sooner. Agh* I feel so bad. We'll see each other soon, like around christmas. first, I have to get a job. My friend Merry will hook me up. Oh yeah. The updates on the lying Merry. LOL! Ok, I don't hate her. She has always been there for me. Now she's hooking me up wit a job. It's just that, why did she have to lie to me. she called me on the 6th to tell me that she came back. ah hmm... well anyways. bla bla bla. I'm hungry. food. need food. argh. gotta go now.
Wednesday, August 7, 2002, 4:01 pm
Damn! Owen is leaving tomorrow at noon. Damn! What the hell am I going to do? Argh, i just thought I should call owen right now. But then, I just remembered that my mom just left and that she will be back any minute now. Damn, she is always ruining everything. Just a few minutes ago she was telling me that she would bash my head open if I go online. Damnit. If only I went out today so i wouldn't have to listen to my mom going on and on about crap. Today I had to go to the ephs thing. Sister was about to head out till my mom came home. Once I was done with the test and everything, I realized that my mom went somewhere. So I waited and waited which felt more than an hour (but it was just 40 minutes) and then finally she came. I was angry for the first two minutes till I got hungry. Choices were Jack in the Box or loath Cha.(Fav. Cambodian food.. mmmmm) Instead I got Mie Gathang. Eh, good enough.
I took a few pictures of the chicken. The new chicken. I don't know which one it is. A chicken or a rooster. I think it's a rooster and then again I remembered when i thought it was a chicken. Yeah, it haven't been out in a long time so it looks totally different. It woke me up this morning too. I felt like killing it. it was that darn rooster/chicken and this door that kept shutting then open then shut again. Argh! Felt like killing someone there. Eh, I woke up at around 8 something just so I can talk to Owen online. I'm going to horribly miss him. I made a total of 38 flowers and I couldn't find the green tape to make this kabob sticks look like stems. *sigh* Oh well. It's not like I'll get to give it to him. If only I started on it sooner. Agh* I feel so bad. We'll see each other soon, like around christmas. first, I have to get a job. My friend Merry will hook me up. Oh yeah. The updates on the lying Merry. LOL! Ok, I don't hate her. She has always been there for me. Now she's hooking me up wit a job. It's just that, why did she have to lie to me. she called me on the 6th to tell me that she came back. ah hmm... well anyways. bla bla bla. I'm hungry. food. need food. argh. gotta go now.
Tuesday, August 6, 2002, 9:58 am
it's 9:59 and uuhh. i just woke up. I dont know what is the plan for today. I want Owen to come over so we can do stuff, but, most likely somebody is going to mess the whole thing up. Like sister or mom or his dad. argh. well i was supposed to do homework and work on the origami flowers so i can give it to him on thursday. *sigh* looks like it will never be done. argh. ok, should work on them now. Its on the beginning of the day.
Monday, August 5, 2002, 6:08 pm
Looks like that didn't work. gosh i feel so tired. i just came back from the mall and the movie. hehe. it was fun. ^______^ i kept seeing Owen's third eye. (y'know what happens when u start to doze off while looking at someone's face for a long time) *yawns* i'm sleepy. i pretty much snuck out. i gotta plan out as a lie just incase my mom tried to call me. well im eating and ima go do my homework and fold origami later. Cya
Sunday, August 4, 2002, 2:10 pm
I forgot what I wanted to post about.. OOOH NOOO!!! Now how ami going to remind myself about this.. argh. *think*think* oh yeah. I'm thinking of changing my screen name.but I don't know whether I should or shouldn't. Everyone knows me by username itsjenearly. but that screen name isn't original. I got the idea from Itsryawn. argh. i'ma change it, or should i. I've been using that sn for more than two years now. agh. ok tell me what u think. if i should or shouldn't. cya.
Sunday, August 4, 2002, 12:49 pm
I'm going to be a knight. wooohoo. (in Ragnarok Online) Oh man, I should really start worrying about college and my SATs now. argh! Man, i don't want to be a senior. Maybe I should take the proficiency test. oh wait, I'm almost freaking donw with high school anyways.
What Ragnarok Online Enemy are You?
hehehe. I'm that cute thing that I have never seen yet. Ragnarok is probably one of the most addicting game I have ever tried out. Zelda wasn't exactly that addicting. Argh. If only I got Ragnarok sooner than I can kick everyone's ass and find all these cool rare items and maybe later I can have a alittle icon on with my name. woohooo! That wouldbe so cool. and then everyone will be envious of me. bwahhahaha.
Saturday, August 3, 2002, 10:58 am
Just yesterday Ragnarok Closed for maintenance and it's going to be like that until 3 months later. Sigh. three months ia really long time. Why are they doing this? Waaaha. I'm going insane. waaaaaaaaah. well ok, enough about ragnarok. Owen is leaving me next thursday. OH NO!!!! THE HORROR!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! i feel like crying. nooo. i don't want this to happen. and the nintendo is gone toooo. aaaaah!!! NOOOOO.. *sobs* this can't be true. My Owen is leaving me. ragnarok already left me and i think by three months i'd probably quit. and ummm..the nintendo. i didn't know when it left me. oh well. I'll live. somehow. but the Owen part. I'm going to horribly miss him. Oh yeah, I have homework. must do must do must do.
Wednesday, July 31, 2002, 10:39 pm
Well, Ragnarok is still having that character glitch. *sigh* Damn piece of crap! Anyways, i'll talk more about what's been happening. Ragnarok, Ragnarok, and Ragnarok. I am wayyyyy toooooo addicted to this game. I even got my sister addicted and her boyfriend. all i did was tell him to dled the game and he can't seem to get enough of it. and my sister, she only wanted to start playing it because her boyfriend likes it and when somene gave her a wand, falchion sword, a guard, and a jacket, she now wants to start playing it more. she also wants to become a wizard. heh. i mean. a magician. anyways, yesterday I got to be with Owen the whole day. not exactly the whole day, but we were together. no wait, the day before yesterday. I think. I don't know. I miss him so much. We were basically going overboard in the theatre. dont feel like talking about it. i bet he was ashamed of himself. I wouldn't know. but by the end of the day, he was ok agian.
aaaah. RAGNAROK IS BACK!!! CYA!
Saturday, July 27, 2002, 3:32 pm
very addictive. Don't get it. Insane is what you'll be when the server patch is down. The horror! Beautiful art they have. I must add. I took some dumb quiz I found somewhere about what character should I be. *sigh* I want to be an acolyte and a mage. Acolyte-...something.. mage-wizard. I WANT TO BE A WIZARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I get to have the coat. I really want those cat ears. WAAAAH!! I WANT CAT EARS!!! I WANT CAT EARS!! *cough* for my character tat is. it's a headband. hehehe. yeha. it's soo cute.
Hey, i can settle for bunny ears also. =D Ok, well I changed my aim icon to some part of the song santi-u. It goes. this is a test. bla bla bla then beeeeeeeeeep. hehehehe. I got bored, what can i say? Owen isn't here to keep me company. *sigh* he's going to be gone for the whole day tomorrow. damn. the whole day. the horror. atleast i know he misses me too. ok, enough about him. The next character I'll be is a mage. Definetily so i can be a wizard in my 50th level. yesireeee! That's the girl mage. Isn't she a beaut. In the next form (wizard) she's going to get a coat to cover that. hahahha. But this is who I'm working on right now. Swordygirl
Saturday, July 27, 2002, 12:10 pm
Anywho. it's just 12:11 PM according to the pacific time that is. Argh! it's soooo boring. Owen is leaving me to go to ummm. that place for the weekened. Damn, a weekened. I hope Ragnarok Online is working so then I would'nt be bored. Eh, right now Ragnarok Online is closed so they can fix the bugs. Well, finally. Well actually, they're "internationally closed". Bastards! I bet most of their users are in America. Agh! Iwouldn't know, it was originally in Japanese or Korean. Bleh. The game is addictive. Damnit! i'm addicted to Ragnarok Online. Just like Cholo and Angel said.
*sigh* I have homework to do. I should do it before it's too late. Take this time to do my homework! Yeah, that's the RIGHT thing to do. I should do it. Argh! I'm the laziest person a live. I'll do everything else besides the boring thing. agh. ok. homework. Damn, I am what you call a slacker. I define the word slacker. Well today i was supposed to go Kayaking with owen. We planned it and everything till his uncle wanted my mother's permission. *sigh* I mean. it's the right thing to do, but.... I don't wnat my mom to know. I guess he just doesn't want to get arrested. lol. Oh well. *yawns* I'm still sleepy. I woke up at eight so I can talk to Owen. agh. I'm going to reallllyyyyy misss him. atleast he'll be back on monday. and that week is his LAST WEEK!!! no wait. that next week is his LAST WEEK!!!!! NOOOOO!!! THE HORROR! I'm going to really miss him. Gosh, it only took me a few weeks to get obsessed over him. hmm.. well anyways.
Mango Ice Cream. Yum! Gotta get that one. you probably only see them in fillipino markets or vietnamese or chinese markets. hehhhe. They taste realllyyy good. There's also other fruit flavors. Must get them. i remember the first time I tried it. I wanted another one but nobody bought them again until few days ago when her boyfriend bought her some. yum. those are good. probably was a 6 years gap. anyways, homework i do. =*( I miss Owen.
Thursday, July 25, 2002, 5:16 pm
choices choices choices. I should really start on my homework but I really don't feel like it. *sigh* Ok well. all i've been doing was play Ragnarok Online. Gosh, that gave is addictive. Even when it came to talking to owen or play that game. eh. Well, last night. I was thinking about Owen leaving. He's leaving in TWO WEEKS!! AAAH!!! That's tooo soooooooonn!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I really don't want him to leave. That's going to be really terrible. He's asking me to wait for him which I'm sure I can't do. But I will try, just for him. = I'm going to hate that part when he leaves. I'll try and be at the airport with him when he leaves. *sigh*
Rochester, MN. That's too far. God damn today is hot. same with yesterday. Ragnarok Online finally booted me off, so that's why i'm jotting in my journal. That character glich happened again. My friend WARNED ME TOO!! GRR!! yeah, he said don't get out, that same thing that happened yesterday is happening now. Atleast it'll be back by 6 oclock. Atleast I hope so. Well yeah. hmm...
Mango Ice cream taste good. =D makes your breath stink though. heehehe. ok, that'll be all. Cya
Wednesday, July 24, 2002, 1:00 pm
argh! Ok well, right now im trying to get back into Ragnarok Online. eh, the game is pretty cool. I messed up four of my characters. The game has too many bugs. Argh! They should've fixed it before I got the game. *sigh* Well anyways, the game is fun.. Addictive more like it. My friend Angel gave me 5,000 zeni and a sword. Woohoo. Just today, i mean 30 minutes ago I signed back on and everything was gone. my characters and everything. I tried signing up for a new one, but they won't let me. i wonder why. waaah! They won't let me back in. Bummer!! Is it because I was cursing? *sigh* Oh well. heheh the people in the game are nice. Someone gave me a free guard. woohoo! I dont even know what the hell it does. oh well.
Today i turnedi n my career guidance work. I'm pretty damn sure I got an F or a D. Damn, i slacked off pretty bad this time. That's because it's career guidance. i dont'even need to take it, but they told me it's a requirement to graduage. my ass. My sister didnt' take it. Lee didn't take it. Ugh* if i'm not graduating in 2003 im taking the proficiency test and I better freaking pass. *sigh* Oh well. hmmmm. it's 1:04pm and i haven't done anything useful yet. I'm still bummed that the game isn't working for me. =/
In Zelda I beat that uuh king water creature in the water temple pretty easy. First I didnt know what to do so i got swung around a few times and only had a half a heart left. So when i got it figured out i didn't lose anymore hearts and beat that creature pretty easily. And Angel told me that the water temple was the hardest temple. ok, if it is then I have no problem. Whoopie. Right now im supposed to do something at the fire mountain. hehehe. Sister says I'm almost done.. hmm. I want to see sheik show herself. y'know zelda. =P~ Owen ruined the surprise. argh! Ok, that'll be all.
Wednesday, August 7, 2002, 3:47 pm
it works now. hehehe. something weird happened last time. Well anyways. Let's see, anything new?
Oh yes. ofcourse. Two days ago I got to go out with owen, his uncle, his aunt, and his father. It was somewhat fun. First we went to the Hawaiin festival and then some christian thing. I suffered all through the christian thing. Since im atheist, i kept giggling at the people praising the sky. this was at Redondo Beach, California. It was a beautiful place. They were babtizing people in the pool that every sinner swam in. Doesn't make sense there. Well, I wouldn't know. I didn't understand anything that went on. The cool part was that they gave free hotdogs and free soda. Wow! Free junk food. Whoopy. Well there weren't a lot of asians there except for the group i was in. Owen's father's side is chinese, but Owen doesn't look a tad bit asian in him. Well, the first time i saw him, maybe I would have thought he was fillipino or something. But no he's chinese mixed with French.Good combination I would think. Very cute. hehee, my mom seems to think so. yeah, by the end of the day I was sure my mom was going to kill me. since i just left without asking her and leaving a note by the TV. So his uncle and aunt met my mom. she seems to think Owen is really cute. she keeps saying that he looks a lot better than Lee. Kind of mean but oh well.
eh, i'll talk about this later. installing ro right now.
Wednesday, July 17, 2002, 8:10 pm
I'm too lazy to start doing my page. *sigh*. well today igot to fight dorongdorf? Whatever! that main person i'm supposed to kill in Zelda. Um. I finished all of my homework already. I skipped a whole lot of questions. the questions about me having to go call something or buying something or me asking people stuff. Argh! So the hw sucks. no more health. yay! umm... nothing else is new. except Owen still helped me a lot in zelda. la la la la. that'll be all. bye
Tuesday, July 16, 2002, 9:23 pm
Well.. I was talking with Owen and uhh... gosh, he knows how to ruin a good time and then get back to that good time. He was too occupied with playing games and watching tv. EESH!!! While i was answering what he asked me. idiot! then asked me again and later teased me for not answering. I mean, i already answered it. He just didn't hear me cause he was too occupied by his stupid shooting game. gosh! But we started off our conversation fine cause he helped me with my zelda( I wonder if that's all he's good for. Ok, that was mean). NOw im in the fish's stomach. yeah, that one. still there. I died trying to fight against that thing that rolls around. i died like more than six times. I'm kind of sick going there. oh yeah, today, i was supposed to go see Owen and stay at his place. But my mom didn't let me. I asked her if i can go to the mall with Owen.I shouldn't have reminded her. Yeah, when she knew that was when she didn't let me go. Grr! What I should have done was left a note on the TV to tell her that I went out with Owen and i'll be back at around 9. Damn!
She totally pisses me off. She says i go out too much but when my sister goes out she tells her to bring me out too because "I'm always at home and that she feels sorry for me" <---grrrr!!!!!! So yeah.. anyways... uh......
Where am I? Oh yeah. now about Merry. What a lying *grr*!!! I knew it!
its Jenearly (9:00:57 PM): what's happened to her?
SwtFaNtAsYbOi4U (9:01:15 PM): shes at washington
its Jenearly (9:01:24 PM): what is she doing there?
SwtFaNtAsYbOi4U (9:01:39 PM): visiting her mom
its Jenearly (9:01:44 PM): just visiting?
its Jenearly (9:01:49 PM): or is she going to live there?
SwtFaNtAsYbOi4U (9:02:03 PM): visiting
SwtFaNtAsYbOi4U (9:02:29 PM): :'(i miss her
its Jenearly (9:02:37 PM): really now?
its Jenearly (9:02:39 PM): =(
its Jenearly (9:02:39 PM): aaw
its Jenearly (9:02:41 PM): i miss her too
its Jenearly (9:02:43 PM): when will she be back?
SwtFaNtAsYbOi4U (9:03:13 PM): augest 6
its Jenearly (9:03:18 PM): oh
SwtFaNtAsYbOi4U (9:03:29 PM): g2g
its Jenearly (9:03:33 PM): kk bye bye
That's her boyfriend i think. *sigh* she said she was going to live there until forever or whatever. jeeze! What a liar. I knew she was lying. grrr! and it just shows what type of person she is. it really does. It's just soooo silly. Why would she lie about things like having sex and having cars. she finally got on my last nerve. I will definitely scream and slap her silly if she lies to me like that again. It's sooo stupid. You know that a plan like that will only backfire. I mean, obviously. ugh! A nissan skyline that happens to be at her place? hahah! and what happens? She crashed it? wow, intersting. wow and skydived when you're under eighteen? wow! Really? interesting! ok, i should stop. But it really pisses me off to think I could fall for that. sure, i play along but i'm really beating my brains out.
Monday, July 15, 2002, 5:11 pm
yowzaZ! i just shaved my legs with the RIGHT one this time. no more stubble. anyways, today was strange. I figured out why Lee needs me so much. It's because there isnt anybody else out there that is willing to have sex with him. Took me a while to figure that out. Ok, i've been knowing, but it just finally occured to me. No wait, that's the same thing. ugh* w hatever. so yeah, here's the conversation. Don't you dare instant message him though. convo. Bla bla bla. tomorrow i'm going out to see Owen again. Hopefully my mom will let me. there's a high percentage that my mom won't. Yesterday I had to clean like crazy just for today. The house inspector lady came by today. How did it go? Well, she's going to come back in thirty days.
Yackidy Yack! umm.. Let's see, how's me and Owen? We're not yet going out. I tell some of my friends that we do and some of my friends that we don't. Honestly we don't, but we're going to on tuesday. hehe, as boyfriend and girlfriend. Shouldn't the kissing be a sign that we're going out? Hmm, I do not know. I really like him, it almost seems like I like him more than he does and he says that he loves me. uuuh, i'm sure that he doesn't. *sigh* sucks thathe's leaving me on august 8th. I wonder who will give me a ride to LAX.
The conversation that posted was about lee trying to pressure me to have sex with him again, when we're not even going out. That's a bit wrong. =/ I just don't want to touch him like that again and i don't want him to touch me. It'll make me feel weird. I don't like being touched by people that I don't like. Well, who ever is welcome can touch me. Not much of those out there. *sigh*
I asked my mom if i can go out with Owen tomorrow. She started complaining about that. ugh* i doubt she'll ever let me go without asking questions. well, that's mothers for you. eesh! I can't hardly wait till i get a job. where the hell is the newspaper when I need one. there's hardly any newspaper stands around here. Earlier, sister and mom was watching lilo and stitch.
grrr! My mom wants me to go to super cuts with her. (she works there) argh! just to show me off. That's going to suck! i'll just keep telling her no maybe she'll go away.
Saturday, July 13, 2002, 12:27 pm
Well, i checked my email a few times today and Lee is still angry about the whole thing. How did i become such a horrible person? eh, i know. I broke his heart. well, it's either now or later. Jeeze, what is up with me? I don't know how to get him better. He says he's over me and I somewhat believe him but I want him to be happy again even if it's not with me. Hmmm How can i get him to be with some other girl? LOL play hook up. eh, I guess i'll be jealous. I wouldn't know.
anyways, I've been having doubts about Owen and I being together. Maybe it's because he isn't exactly my type. I'm too into the romantic type. I was thinking about that yesterday. When will I find "the one". It has to be next year, there's lots of uhh.. guys there. LOL! "shop from the catalog" as they call it. Ok, that's kind of lame, but I got that from Owen. hmmmm.. I shouldn't really be into these guy stuff, it's humiliating. I should be thinking of other stuff. But I'm way too into these romantic stuff. Hey, it's a good way to seduce a girl. Eeeh!! And stars. *sigh* i really don't know where i got stars from but I find that very romantic. oooh and sneaking out at night and just running around in the city streets. hmm, no that's pretty dangerous. Especially where I live. argh! I should stop thinking about this romantic crap. I highly doubt there are guys like that. and if there are, they're probably just doing that to get into their girlfriend's pants.
I should really start on my homework. I just can't stop thinking about how much I hurt Lee. He says that the scarf is just to even out the times I wasted his money and time and stuff. Eh, I can't blaim him. *sigh* but i wonder if it is a waste. How did I hurt him so much? It just reminds me of the times when he hurt me. Oh, i really wanted to kill him. Heck, I would have killed him if I had a knife with me and he was right infront of me. uhh, that would have been cruel though. Hehehe, come to think about it, I don't think I would have. But I was so serious about doing it though. uhh, i think I forgot about half of it. Not many of my friends really supported the idea though. Hmmmm. I wonder what Owen is doing. How can I tell him no I don't want to be with him? and besides, he's leaving back to MN in August 8th. Gosh, that's going to be fast I think. Oh well.
Cya!
Friday, July 12, 2002, 3:00 pm
Ok i just rescheduled my appointment to turn in my stuff and get more stuff. *sigh* anyways, here's the conversation that i was talking about the last entry. this. It's either htm or html. darnette. anyways. uuuhhh. whatwas i just thinking before I wrote that? Oh yeah. Is it too late to change my mind about Owen? Damn! Lee is making me think too much. I hate this. Owen doesn't exactly make me feel that special anymore. I wonder when he quit. He still says he loves me and stuff. Hmmm.. Oh and Lee told his mom about me. finally. eesh, and he thinks that im avoiding him which is half true. I feel awful. I'll go rest my head now. Oh yeah. HOMEWORK!!
Thursday, July 11, 2002, 6:13 pm
he always finds out about things. It's amazing. When mother came home she found the scarf outside. Ugh* The scarf that I made for Lee. It may look crappy but my fingers would ilterally hurt everytime I spent time making that scarf. But now it's a waste. He ripped it up. Grrr! What a waste of time and effort. He even said it was useless. ugh* oh well. hmmm. and then the next morning he acted like he didn't do anything wrong. But we're probably even now. *sigh* I saved the conversation, maybe I'll post it.
Wednesday, July 10, 2002, 2:03 pm
Just an hour ago, Lee came by. I had a feeling he knew so I kept calm. Ok, most of you might be wondering "know what?". Hmmm, looks like I didn't talk about yesterday. Well anyways, yesterday I went to the mall and the movies with owen again. The movies is when the *magic" started happening. Eh, yeah we kissed. so what? It's just a kiss. and later westarted touching each other and holding hands and stuff. hhaha. that's like running before crawling. Anyways, when we finished the movie, my ex boyfriend's(Lee's) BEST FRIENDS SAW ME!!!! i was talking to them online and they said that they wouldn't tell. Damn! I only told one of them though. I wanted to be the one that would tell him, not them. They ruined everything. Damn those fucking faggots!! Anyways, they told on me and now I'm really pissed. Lee came over and we talked about it. He made me feel like a real bitch and a whore at the same time. I didn't dump him for another guy. Well, that's what I keep saying to myself. OH my gosh!! I did! But y'see, the other guy made me realize that I deserve better, y'see? hehee, I'm making up dumb excuses. *sigh* but I'm really confident about the break up, so Ill let it be that way and hopefully I'll stay single and happy. Yes, I don't have a boyfriend yet. Owen and I are still deciding to stay single. He's moving again anyways. Hmm, where am I? OH yeah. LOL! and we kissed? We are going to be one weird friends. We're even talking about having sex. Ugh! I wish I wasn't a nymphomaniac. and maybe Owen is just saying all those things to get into my pants. But by the way I was kissing him, It was almost like I've been kissing all my life. well, I have been kissing foralmost two years with the same person and I inproved every time. Owen though, needs some improvement. Ok. where am i?
Owen, such a sweet guy and a really good talker. Oh yeah.
To Alexm
About my previous diary entry.
hehe. I think u were asking about the James character and Owen almost being alike? Maybe. I think. aagh! Oh well. I'll explain that. Anywho. Owen Daniel Sutanto and James Roach Rodriguez(hehe, aren't I good with names?) are almost exactly alike. hehee, well, they just talk exactly alike. Here's James's dead journal. He used to like me so I know about those sweet things he used to say to me. it always made me feel special but I always told him no. Owen is a different story. Ofcourse, it's because he's sooo good looking and I used to have a crush on him. It adds up even more. And I've known him longer.I used to be with owen every afterschool. LOL! every afterschool. OH! And this james. He doesn't like me anymore. And then, we stopped talking because he's being an asshole. just because I don't talk to him first doesn't mean i hate him. But oh well, I feel unwanted when I'm around him anyways. Ok, that'll be all. cya!
Sunday, July 7, 2002, 4:42 pm
WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING????? I just came into my senses and realized that this Owen character doesnt love me. Lee does, and I still love him deeply. Man!!! Sucks being confused all the time. Especially with my feelings. Oh man, why the hell am i doing this to Lee, I hurt him so many times. I should really quit. He swore that he won't be jealous anymore and i still said no. OH MY GOSH!!! Owen just signed on and i forgot about everything that I just said. =( Oh man!! WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO? Should I really waste 2 years of our relationship just so i can be free? Or should i go back to him just.. because? i can't think of a good reason to get back with him. Our memories together? I just don't want to start all over. the whole fights and stuff, was it worth it? i really don't know.
Saturday, July 6, 2002, 1:19 pm
get a load of homework and you'll be occupied the whole day. *sigh* I HATE THIS! I DONT WANT TO DO HOMEWORK! THE HORROR OF HOMEWORK! DAMN HOMEWORK! WAAH!
ok well anyways. Lee is definitely asking for a break up. He's starting to really stress me out. I feel so horribly trapped while being with him. let's see, I can't make any guy friends, i can't go out with guys, no talking to guys, no making new guy friends, no ditching school(ugh* He made me ditch class a few times), never cuss about parents(and he does it all the time?), No using webcam with other people, No meeting guys in person from online, no flirting( ok i can deal with that), no hugs(eh), and no guys helping me out with anything without his permission. See? Trapped! Well, I should write him a break up email right now before something stops me. It's obvious that I don't want to be with him anymore.
mmmmmmmmmmmm, my hair smels like... like... coconut? I confused coconut with vanilla earlier. Anywho, I have work to do today. a lot, I have to finish a book TODAY!!! not tmorrow, TODAY! ummm.. i'm almost finished with the first one. Ok, email then this. a long long email. =( I feel so horrible doing this, but it's either now or later.
Friday, July 5, 2002, 4:18 pm
I'm going to break up wtih Lee. I have lots of good reasons.
1. so sick of him being so jealous all the time
2. I'm not longer actually happy with him
3. don't find him attractive anymore =
4. He's never there for me
5. he likes to complain
6. he loves his care more than me
7. all he does is complain
8. he lives too far away.
9. he doesnt want me to have guy friends
10. he's too picky
well, those aren't actually good reasons. Owen is the reason why I'm eager to break it off. I've already forgotten what love is. How I felt for Lee. How he made me feel good everytime we see each other. I dont' know what's wrong. I love him more than anything, and right now I don't feel anything. I feel so eager to kick him to the curb so I can make out with Owen. I really don't know what I'm doing to myself. those bad features about him that I just named are normal before and now I'm using it against him. aaah! He seems to be complaining about me so I guess I do the same. = I'm much more confident than before about breaking it off.
Well, let's see, be selfish. hmm, good advice, i should be selfish but I should think of the consequence. *sigh* i hate thinking a head. This time i'm not, i'm going to break it off and whatever happens happens. I miss the single life, I dont' want to go out with Owen. Owen and I are impossible, he's leaving back anyways. Jeeze, what the hell am I doing? oh man!!!!I hate this!!! ugh* GWAH!!!
Thursday, July 4, 2002, 7:00 pm
Hmm, i always remembered myself saying that people who cheats on the other partners should go to hell. straight to hell and that they should atleast break it off. *sigh* NOw I'm what you call a hypocrite. Well, I havent actually "acted" on it yet. = It's really sad how I forgot about Lee already when Owen came along in my life. It's weird, when we were just friends I had never known that he felt that way about me. Then again, he might just saying that. Its too good to be true. I really want him, but that's impossible. *sigh* we had a long talk and he respects that. But we're seeing each other on tuesday and I'm sure, positively sure, that something will happen. ok independence is today and we're going to the park i think. well Cya! talk more about this next time.
Wednesday, July 3, 2002, 10:49 am
I think it's about to get horribly serious. Last night I just couldn't stop thinking of Owen. Maybe it's that forbidden relationship thing that's going on. There is no way I'm going to cheat on lee for Owen. = Even though I really like Owen. And Lee, I love him oh so very much. Last night he actually used the word "always" with I love you. In our relationship we're always honest with each other, and "always" is a big word to use. Ugh* Damn love songs are playing. I feel like crying my eyes out on not knowing what to do. ugh* Ok, the logical thing to do is to ditch this Owen person, right? hahahha. ugh* Come to think about it, I'm so naive. What if this Owen character is just trying to make me feel special so he can get into my pants? I really don't know. I'll just keep him as a friend and hopefully I'll thank myself someday. But yesterday, if he was to make a move, I would've went along with it. hahah, but then this came along:
owen: I mean, You're beautiful, but, I don't want to ruin anything going on with you and Lee.
Me: hehe(member, I didn't know what to say at a time like
that)
Owen: And if I made a move on you, you would be mad....
Owen: right?
Me: Yeah
Ok, so that blew off the whole kissy kissy thing and cheating on Lee and feeling guilty feeling. I wanted that to happen and I also didn't. =X if only Owen wasn't so darn cute. shallow, aren't I? That's not the half of it. Still there are a few things I don't like about Owen though:
1. He's 16( almost a whole year younger than me, but a few weeks off)
2. He cusses too much ( makes me feel weird to be around with)
3. This rumor Cholo told me(that he hit his girlfriend) Ok! that's a big no no
4. i have a feeling he's as clueless as Lee is when it comes to girls.
ok, that should be enough. I can think of many things but that would be mean. I'm going to really miss him so much when he leaves. I have a big feeling that something might happen between us. But when that question arises, I'll possibly stop myself. Maybe and hopefully. =P~ Ok, i'm going to meet owen again on saturday.
I still feel guilty. I should really tell Lee about yesterday that I went out with Owen at leaste. I don't want to tell him that because he knows that Owen used to like me and he doesn't like me going out iwth guys. also he wouldn't want me lying to him like that. I told him I was playing zelda the whole day and found the mysterious sword. I horribly suck in that game. It took me three days to finally found that small sword. Ai. Ok, that'll be all. Cya!
Tuesday, July 2, 2002, 10:53 pm
well.. today was rather good. went to the mall to meet Owen again. *sigh* Owen. He is just the darn cutest guy I have ever met in my whole entire life. Not only is that weird, but he likes me! Out of all the guys that I liked, never ever likes me back. But this time, he is just wonderful. He makes me feel so beautiful inside and out. =) But I can't make a move on him because I have this boyfriend. Damnit! Sucks being unsingle. *sigh* But I"m not going to make a mistake that would ruin my life forever. I lvoe my boyfriend very much but temptation takes over everything. Plus, Owen is leaving back to minnosota on August 2nd. or was it August 8th? dunno. =) took a few pictures of Owen. I'll post them up someday. lol! Ialways say that and never do. ugh* I'll see what i forgot and do them all in one day. eesh! I'm such a loser. Well anywho. *sigh*
Sauron909 (10:47:49 PM): jope this don't scare you off or anything
Sauron909 (10:48:00 PM): but today i fell in love with you
Sauron909 (10:48:22 PM): that should be hope
its Jenearly (10:48:33 PM): oh
its Jenearly (10:48:36 PM): ummm..
its Jenearly (10:48:45 PM): =)
its Jenearly (10:49:24 PM): well i always had a crush on you
its Jenearly (10:49:29 PM): but...
its Jenearly (10:49:32 PM): er. y'know
Sauron909 (10:49:34 PM): yeah i know
Sauron909 (10:49:40 PM): you got lee
its Jenearly (10:49:43 PM): yeah
Sauron909 (10:49:54 PM): oh well i'll just wait
Sauron909 (10:49:56 PM): and wait
Sauron909 (10:49:58 PM): and wait
Sauron909 (10:50:01 PM): and wait
Sauron909 (10:50:07 PM): did i mention wait
its Jenearly (10:50:08 PM): yeah
its Jenearly (10:50:14 PM): =
Sauron909 (10:50:38 PM): whats with the = /
its Jenearly (10:50:48 PM): don't know what to say
Sauron909 (10:51:12 PM): oh
its Jenearly (10:52:08 PM): hmmm
Sauron909 (10:52:22 PM): i don't know what to say either
its Jenearly (10:52:27 PM): u should've told me that u had
a crush on me. just before Lee and I got serious
its Jenearly (10:52:30 PM): oh
its Jenearly (10:52:38 PM): i would've left Lee for you then
its Jenearly (10:54:15 PM): or maybe when lee and I broke up
Sauron909 (10:55:30 PM): yeah nut i didn't
Sauron909 (10:55:44 PM): because at the time i didn't know
you as well as i do today
its Jenearly (10:56:04 PM): yeah
Sauron909 (10:56:09 PM): *but
its Jenearly (10:56:25 PM): heheh
its Jenearly (10:56:30 PM): i can read through your typos
Wednesday, June 26, 2002, 11:37 am
AzN KaL1 b01 (10:57:36 AM): hi jen
its Jenearly (10:57:40 AM): hi
AzN KaL1 b01 (10:57:55 AM): how r u?
its Jenearly (10:57:59 AM): good
AzN KaL1 b01 (10:58:13 AM): u n ur b/f?
its Jenearly (10:58:50 AM): we're goood
its Jenearly (10:58:51 AM): very good
its Jenearly (10:58:53 AM): why do u ask?
its Jenearly (10:58:58 AM): why do people keep asking that
AzN KaL1 b01 (10:58:58 AM): im jus asking
AzN KaL1 b01 (10:58:59 AM): kekeke
AzN KaL1 b01 (10:59:17 AM): my life is so hard jen
its Jenearly (10:59:31 AM): oh?
AzN KaL1 b01 (10:59:39 AM): rite now i jus wanna die
its Jenearly (10:59:56 AM): oh? why is that?
its Jenearly (11:01:50 AM): ??
AzN KaL1 b01 (11:02:15 AM): cuz
AzN KaL1 b01 (11:02:18 AM): everyone
AzN KaL1 b01 (11:02:28 AM): is assuming things from me
its Jenearly (11:02:35 AM): what do u mean assuming?
AzN KaL1 b01 (11:02:47 AM): like my g/f
its Jenearly (11:03:06 AM): what is she assuming?
AzN KaL1 b01 (11:03:12 AM): she assume me of cheating on
her while im talking to my homegirl to find her a bday
present
its Jenearly (11:03:30 AM): and what about everybody else?
its Jenearly (11:04:08 AM): lol. it's called dealing with a jealous partner, get use to it
AzN KaL1 b01 (11:04:10 AM): dey jus fucken cussed me out of no where
its Jenearly (11:04:12 AM): your girlfriend
its Jenearly (11:04:17 AM): oh?
AzN KaL1 b01 (11:04:20 AM): i cant talk to her now
its Jenearly (11:04:21 AM): they must have a reason
AzN KaL1 b01 (11:04:23 AM): she block me
its Jenearly (11:04:28 AM): it doesn't matter
its Jenearly (11:04:33 AM): she just needs to cool down
its Jenearly (11:04:38 AM): Lee is like that 24/7
AzN KaL1 b01 (11:04:50 AM): she been blocking me foe a week now
its Jenearly (11:05:03 AM): that's normal
AzN KaL1 b01 (11:05:26 AM): imma fucken give up
AzN KaL1 b01 (11:05:29 AM): fuck life
AzN KaL1 b01 (11:05:36 AM): fuck dis shiet
AzN KaL1 b01 (11:05:37 AM): late
its Jenearly (11:05:51 AM): lol. u give up so easily
Previous message was not received by AzN KaL1 b01 because
of error (11:05:51 AM): User AzN KaL1 b01 is not available.
Gosh! I just want to make fun of him. It's so lame!! he only says that to get attention. He's a god damn liar. Always have been. grr, and it pisses me off.C'mon i mean, he said that he got this one girl pregnant. LOL! How lame!!!!! Anyways, I bet he'll be online in a few days.
Saturday, June 22, 2002, 8:15 pm
hehehe, I think I'm becomming Deviantart addict. Especially after this one i just submitted read the comments BWAHAHAH!! It's so funny! =) The comments. Anyways, i was just thinking about movies. How there's no more good movies. Or rather, just movies with prequals/sequals or movies that's going to have sequals. =P~ I think they ran out of good scripts. *sigh* Ok, nothing to do right now but play a game. lee is still mad at me for calling him a chicken, I'm still mad at him for calling me retarded, so I'll just wait till he emails me first. hmph
Friday, June 21, 2002, 7:00 pm
I think I'm getting horribly sick. =X I felt like throwing up last night. grrr. okanyways, today was alright, ok, I take that back, it was horrible! I guess I got bored and wanted to keep fighting with my boyfriend. I guess I enjoy making him mad. Maybe because it keeps me company? i don't know. Well anyways, it got to the point where he started calling me stupid, retarded, and a dumb ass. I wouldn't blame him, it just gave me the excuse to start calling him names too. hahaha, i bet one day, we're going to kick each other's asses like total jack asses. so yeah, then the last email he was saying that he doesn't want to deal with it. argh* whenever I say that, he doesn't leave me alone. grrr. I guess the meanest thing I have ever said to him was calling him a chicken. =X and I just said that. I said it because he's been with me for almost 2 years and his parents still doesn't know about me. It's because he's scared. and i was also mad at that time. i feel kind of bad after I said that. but i shouldn't because he called me worse names. like stupid, dumb ass, and retarded. That's the worse insult you can give to anybody, well maybe i'm just sensitive about that. Then later, Angel starts to acting weird, so that got me down even more. I think it's because he knows that I posted this comment on his ex's journal. Atleast he said that he thinks that "that girl" is right. blah. What made me happy was that I got the highest score in one of orisinal's games. Serenade one. I did a print screen, I wonder if I can post pictures in here. hehehe. I'll just make it as a link later.
Thursday, June 20, 2002, 3:07 pm
What kind of nerve does my boyfriend have to speak bullshit. It's sooo, idiot-ish. What the hell was going in his fucking mind when he said that. The other day, I emailed him THREE emails, and then at night he was talking about his cousin emailing him more than I do and that he wants more emails from me. And I'm thinking, WHAT THE FUCK???? ISNT 3 ENOUGH??? He thinks that I don't have a life, and just because of that, i should email instead of doing my nonlife things. IDIOT!!! I AUGHTA SLAP HIM!! And then I emailed him my angry email so then he took it back and added " No, last year I emailed you with more details and they were all longer than yours" OH MY GOSH!!! THE NERVE!! I'm pretty god damn sure that I was the only one that would email him more than him and would always comment his one sentence emails. What the hell got to him to make him say something that stupid. It makes me think. GRRR!! and there was one time I emailed him a four page one. I know so because I printed it out. GRRRR!!!!
Tuesday, June 18, 2002, 4:07 pm
I don't think I have ever had a jealous moment with my boyfriend. he seems to have it all the time with me. gosh! Um.. Yeah, there was only three times when I was jealous with my boyfriend now that I think about it. Him and his ex, him and his friend(planned to go to her place), and the girl he REALLY WANTED to go to the prom with. ugh* seems like I'm letting him off easily. and he just told me that he tells girls that he's single and that he wants to be with them. then again, he was just mad at the time.. grrr..
well, this isn't why I brought up the subject. It's about my friend. *sigh* I read his diary. Angel's Diary
I'm only jealous because I used to like him. I don't like him anymore. It's just that. He's the coolest guy I know and he's doing all this stuff with these good looking popular girls. It just ruins him, i guess. I reallyd on't know why I'm jealous. Maybe someone in here will fill me in. =/
Tuesday, June 18, 2002, 3:27 pm
ba ba ba ba. Well, today was good. I had to wait in a long time to register for EPHS. All i did was look around to see if my boyfriend decided to come. I told him the address and everything. But nope. Later, I saw some people I recognized, not that I went to them or anything. That would be stupid. Nope, I just kept looking around like a total idiot and listening to my CD Player. ahhh, Rage Against the Machines. I was only listening to one of their songs and that is... umm.. i forgot what song. but it's number four in one of their old albums. Er! It sucks being slow. hmm. Says here that summer school starts on july, but I have to call the guy. the teacher guy. Gosh, this is the boringest diary entry I have ever typed. hmm, seems like all of my entries are boring, but this one is beyond boring. >=D I'll think of something next time, when my life gets interesting.
Monday, June 17, 2002, 10:56 pm
Mom is being a(n) ************. grrrr. And no, those stars don't make up a word, it's just jibberish, ic ouldn't think of.. It's like a self interpret kind of thing.
ugh* well she's talking about bullshit right infront of my face to her friend. It just brings me back to those days when Iwanted to kill everyone. *sigh* Life is... life.. sucks! Horribly! Atleast I have a boyfriend that loves me. Oh yeah, we stopped fighing. I'll post the conversation later when I feel like it. blah. I have a problem with keeping conversations. cause everytime I close the IM box, I have this empty feeling like I accidently pulled the plug on something. gosh. um. tomorrow. EPHS registration. mom was calling me a dog just because I wanted Lee to take me there and bring me back. it's better that way then my mom dropping me off, then my mom's friend's son picking me up and bringing to their house and then my sister picking me up and then dropping me off home. That's too much work. It's much easier with just one person. But that way is three people!!! ARGH!!
ok um.. sister's bf brought three movies. Mr. Deeds or deads, whatever. Showtime (well, that's the title). and Domestic Disturbance. That's it. ooooh and Harry potter. I'm watching that right now. it's.. ok. i guess.
Monday, June 17, 2002, 2:48 pm
It's just in one moment someone could ruin my mood so quickly. Why is he always jealous. NOw whose going to give me a ride to the EPHS thing. ugh* I'll just go cancel it with him. I bet he's going to pick me up anyways. gosh. Why is he always jealous. It pisses me off all the time. ugh* Lee's stressing me out!!! He just signed on to cause more trouble. What the fuck?
RyCeCuBe signed off at 2:38:47 PM.
RyCeCuBe signed on at 2:49:28 PM.
its Jenearly (2:49:50 PM): forgot something?
RyCeCuBe (2:49:55 PM): duz he even know u have a boyfriend?
its Jenearly (2:50:04 PM): yes
RyCeCuBe (2:50:17 PM): then why did he have to say sumthin stupid like that
RyCeCuBe (2:50:35 PM): i'll admit sum of ur guyfriends know
how to watch their limits and know what to say to
you..but this guy is an asshole
its Jenearly (2:50:35 PM): that's because it's a joke
RyCeCuBe (2:50:43 PM): but i bet u were happy and flattered that he said that huh?
RyCeCuBe (2:50:45 PM): aww come on
RyCeCuBe (2:50:52 PM): u got sumthin better than it's just a joke?
RyCeCuBe (2:51:02 PM): the last one "i love you" was just a joke what's gonna be next
RyCeCuBe (2:51:31 PM): why didn't u change if u knew i was gonna be mad at sumthin like this?
its Jenearly (2:51:39 PM): because i didn't think so
RyCeCuBe (2:51:39 PM): cuz u don't care bout the way i
feel? or what?
RyCeCuBe (2:51:46 PM): what?
RyCeCuBe (2:51:52 PM): u don't know me by now?
RyCeCuBe (2:52:05 PM): u think i'm happy u have these kinds of friends?
its Jenearly (2:52:08 PM): i really don't want to deal with this right now
RyCeCuBe (2:52:19 PM): why?
its Jenearly (2:52:21 PM): and u can forget about tomorrow
RyCeCuBe (2:52:30 PM): ouch that hurts
RyCeCuBe (2:52:41 PM): i wanted to see you so bad tomorrow
RyCeCuBe (2:53:13 PM): i don't get to take u tomorrow?? oh
no...
RyCeCuBe (2:53:19 PM): awwww
RyCeCuBe signed off at 2:53:32 PM.
Monday, June 17, 2002, 2:46 pm
its Jenearly (2:34:38 PM): i was bored
RyCeCuBe (2:34:49 PM): oh..
RyCeCuBe (2:35:05 PM): did u send any people your sexy
pictures?
its Jenearly (2:35:18 PM): no
its Jenearly (2:35:23 PM): y?
RyCeCuBe (2:35:31 PM): just wondering
its Jenearly (2:35:35 PM): lol. i have no sexy pictures
RyCeCuBe (2:35:44 PM): that's what i thought u'd be doin
RyCeCuBe (2:35:47 PM): uh..someone thinks so
its Jenearly (2:35:54 PM): oh gosh.. he was just joking
RyCeCuBe (2:36:10 PM): so any flirting word is just joking
to you?
RyCeCuBe (2:36:16 PM): he should at least say "just joking"
at the end of it
its Jenearly (2:36:17 PM): that's what he told me
RyCeCuBe (2:36:26 PM): yeh ah huh
its Jenearly (2:36:43 PM): ok. think what you want
RyCeCuBe (2:37:33 PM): that's still messed up
RyCeCuBe (2:38:07 PM): i hate your internet life with ur
friends and all that stupid shit..y don't u just stop
RyCeCuBe (2:38:39 PM): don't ever get mad at me for doin
sumthin like this to you some day
RyCeCuBe signed off at 2:38:47 PM.
Sunday, June 16, 2002, 5:09 pm
I'm playing that game in www.banja.com. It's pretty boring, but I like the music for everything. hehehe. Very creative I must add. BUT ITS SOOOO SLOW!!! Ok, not it, but my computer. I think a vein is about to pop out of my forehead. AGH!!!Er. and I'm so full. I told myself that I'm going to clean today but.. the house isn't ... changing? er. blah. meow. I should really clean before mother gets home. she left early tooo. if she sees the house the same, she's going to kick my butt!
Saturday, June 15, 2002, 11:22 am
MY GRAMMAR SUCKS!!!! =( Even my boyfriend corrects my grammar and it gets on my nerve!!! HOW CAN I TELL HIM TO SHUT HIS *BLEEP*in MOUTH!! hhehe. I censored myself. = I am wayyy too bored. I'll go design my webpage now.