Tuesday, December 28, 2004: 12:34 a.m.
new photos of danielle and i on webshots.
trust yourself |
Saturday, December 25, 2004: 10:40 p.m.
it took all i could today NOT to completely destroy the house and run around screaming. i was very proud of myself when nothing was broken at the end of the day. i'm hoping i can get more than 2 hours of sleep tonight. wish me luck ^^
trust yourself |
Saturday, December 25, 2004: 07:26 a.m.
well, i got about 2 hours of sleep last night. went to bed at 10:30. gave up sleeping entirely at 5 because it was a relatively decent hour. read the two kare kano manga i'm borrowing from danielle, read some more of i, lucifer, got hungry. fed the frog. pet the cat. she's very affectionate in the morning...
this year... just cant get into the holiday spirit... it really doesnt seem like christmas.
trust yourself |
Thursday, December 23, 2004: 10:02 p.m.
my eyes hurt.
trust yourself |
Monday, December 20, 2004: 09:15 p.m.
::sings and dances::
danielle's got me hooked on groove coverage. i love the song "poison." its hot. in fact, i'm listening to it now.
in other news, all of my xmas shopping is done. i just need to finish wrapping stuff. XD
cookie baking tomorrow. 6 cookies and 1 thing of brownies. it was fun grocery shopping for stuff today. we got the the register and the lady was like, "so you're baking cookies, huh?" it was awesome.
i cant wait for wednesday! hanging out with my hot friends and making more hot friends! (i finally get to meet jon and he's bringing les, too!) ^____________^
trust yourself |
Wednesday, December 15, 2004: 10:43 a.m.
finding random bits of insight in my religion packets that i never read before today (the exam is at 1:30...)
discussing the aims and causes of the Reformation:
"But the ironies of history are such that man often accomplishes the opposite of that which he consciously intends."
James Aho, "The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Violence," p. 202
i found that both amusing and insightful.
::continues studying::
trust yourself |
Monday, December 13, 2004: 09:56 a.m.
so i think my bio final went pretty well. prof. sorensen was surprised (again) when i handed in my test after 45 minutes. i mean, in high school we had to do 100-question tests with two essays in 41 minutes... so these tests are so easy to get done. i dont know how people take so long with them!
now i'm at work. the office was locked when i got here so i had to wait around a bit with nothing to do ~_~ and now i'm really sad! ok, i dont mind sitting around for 7 hours working on my paper, but I FORGOT TO SWITCH THE MUSIC ON MY H DRIVE! >< i still have stuff that i dont like as much that i put up for that person on jcrack.... i thought i had my beautiful winter sonata stuff in.... T_T ::cries:: i need good music! the radio sucks! someone saaaave meeeeeeeeeeee!!!
trust yourself |
Sunday, December 12, 2004: 05:00 p.m.
ahhh! reading stuff to put in my paper... saw the note by hirai that sodium dicarbonate levels dropped during meditation...
i KNOW that sodium dicarbonate levels were mentioned in one of my kung-fu books, but i already gave them back! it was something about sodium dicarbonate increasing the ease of energy flow throughout the channels in the body... arrrghh!! MUST FIND INFORMATION NOW!!! ::scours the internet::
trust yourself |
Thursday, December 9, 2004: 03:53 p.m.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand annie just found her book in the copier.
trust yourself |
Thursday, December 9, 2004: 03:18 p.m.
wow.... we're sitting here in the office, joe just left, annie and i are both on the computer... suddenly... annie goes to look for her genetics book, and.. its gone!! thinking that joe must have it, because it WAS here and now its NOT, we run after him. its cold and rainy outside. annie runs down the street, looks for him-- nowhere. checks in schmucker-- nowhere. called-- no answer.
its like both the book and joe got sucked up into the swirling vortex of doom! and she needs to study... T_T i feel bad, but there's nothing we can do unless we know where joe is.
I'm going to be working on my paper tonight. ~_~
trust yourself |
Tuesday, December 7, 2004: 01:44 p.m.
last week of classes... one more psych class where we get to eat and i get to listen because i did my presentation today... 2 more japanese classes (but the oral exam is tomorrow!), 2 more religion classes (but tomorrow is movie day still), 2 more bio classes....
finals are next week though. i think bio should be ok, and japanese, too, but i need to read through all my religion stuff again because its open-everything~~ ugh.
and the psych paper! fun stuff that needs to be worked on more ><
oh btw, i apologize to anyone i was mean to last night. needed sleep and such, wasnt having a good day. ::bows:: gomen nasai!
trust yourself |
Monday, December 6, 2004: 07:19 p.m.
YAY! paula drew us ^_^ its so cute! and its on my wall next to o-san and the hon-monster. ^____________^ <~ happy ...desu.
now my religion paper is done... i should prolly put SOMETHING together for psych class tomorrow. i might have to do a 5-minute presentation on the paper that i'm writing... the rough-draft of which i JUST GOT BACK TODAY >< its dumb. i didnt even get to the interesting part yet. and he didnt have the paper read by when he said he would, so i lost a little less than a week to work on it. ~_~ oh well. i prolly wouldnt have concentrated on that one anyway since my religion paper was due.
i really need a new layout ~_~
trust yourself |
Friday, December 3, 2004: 04:13 p.m.
AHHH! i really cant wait to watch winter sonata.. I MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
yon-sama ga daisuki desu!!! ^__________^
<3*baeyongjun*<3
trust yourself |
Wednesday, December 1, 2004: 12:12 p.m.
::Attempts to write in proper English::
I'm getting ready to type up all my papers, and I don't want those stupid typing mistakes and lack of proper pronunciation, so I decided to try typing like a smart person. ^_^;; Feel free to correct my grammar or spelling at any time.
I got to open the first door on my Adventskalender today! It was so exciting... The moon opened and there was a deer chocolate behind it! ^_^ Kawaii desu ne...
Christmas is coming up so quickly, but it seems unreal right now. There's so much that has to get done. I guess I keep putting it off because I'm in denial or I'm just lazy or I think I have more important things to do, when really the most important thing I should be doing is writing my papers, not searching for the sheet music for the awesomely sexy piano songs in "Winter Sonata." (On a side note, I did find some last night while I was procrastinating. I tried playing "First Time" last night, but I think I need to listen to it a few more times to get the timing right.)
Tonight I'll hopefully get some work on my papers done. I have to do all the reading yet in the books I got for my religion paper. Shaolin Kungfu is so hot. Of course, so is Buddhist meditation, which I also need to write about. I really need Paula to be a slavedriver... she's the only way I get anything done nowadays. Of course, I don't want to become completely dependent on someone else for my motivation. Ideally, it should come from inside myself. I really need to work on my self-discipline...
Hirugohan no jikan desu~! Dewa mata!
trust yourself |
Tuesday, November 30, 2004: 11:22 p.m.
so.... much... to do...
trust yourself |
Monday, November 29, 2004: 10:02 p.m.
ok, i'm really pissed. like massively. hiding information to test the waters and see how people might react and then actually telling the person it would hurt most after being warned of how dumb it is? yeah... definitely not cool. in so many ways. i'm really disappointed. in all parties involved... the two obvious and also the one who said it was ok and set them up. and this is really a bad time to be bringing this up. there's too much else that needs to get done. way to think of other people, guys! good job.
thats all i'm gonna say on that subject... there's too much else to get done. but really.... *sigh*
trust yourself |
Monday, November 29, 2004: 03:34 p.m.
at work... ^_^ its good to be back at school again.
but i'm SO TIRED!!! i didnt get back from paula's until like 9:30, and then by the time i unpacked, did my japanese, and got in bed it was past my bedtime (i know its early shuddup! ><) and then i woke up at 7:30 this morning and i was like, "crap... i have a reaction paper due today on a packet i didnt read..." so i started that and finished it before lunch...
um~~ the computer was making weird noises before and it was scary. i need sleep.
trust yourself |
Friday, November 26, 2004: 06:54 p.m.
i got my hair cut and it looks WEIRD ><
trust yourself |
Tuesday, November 23, 2004: 06:34 p.m.
for some reason tonight i feel worse than i did before..... ~_~
trust yourself |
Wednesday, November 17, 2004: 11:09 p.m.
"When you go out on a boat and look around, you feel as if the shore were moving. But ifyou fix your eyes on the rim of the boat, you become aware that the boat is moving. It is exactly the same when you try to know the objective world while still in a state of confusion in regard to your own body and mind; you are under the misapprehension that your own mind, your own nature, is something real and enduring [while the external world is transitory]. Only when you sit straight and look into yourself, does it become clear that [you yourself are changing and] the objective world has a reality apart from you.
[The fullness of enlightenment.]
Our attainment of enlightenment is something like the reflection of the moon in water. The moon does not get wet, nor is the water cleft apart. Though the light of the moon is vast and immense, it finds a home in water only a foot long and an inch wide. The whole moon and the whole sky find room enough in a single dewdrop, a single drop of water. And just as the moon does not cleave the water apart, so enlightenment does not tear man apart. Just as a dewdrop or drop of water offers no resistance to the moon in heaven, so man offers no obstacle to the full penetration of enlightenment. Height is always the measure of depth. [The higher the object, the deeper will seem its reflection in the water.]"
thats from hashisa, shobo genzo sakui, translated in de bary, sources of japanese tradition. as quoted in essential sacred texts from around the world by mircea eliade.
ahh~ buddhism is so unbelieveably sexy. <3
trust yourself |
Monday, November 15, 2004: 12:18 p.m.
hmm..... yellow generation is really good.... so is anson hu...... so much music to listen to!!! ><
so anyway, i get to register for my classes today at 1, and when i go in to talk with hogan-sensei, i can have her sign my declaration of major form. ^_^
food time! ^.^
trust yourself |
Sunday, November 7, 2004: 10:40 p.m.
so i was talking with audrey in brian's room after luis left and she was like, "this person called for you last night while you guys were at paula's..." apparently this girl wanted to talk to me, but we were gone... and apparently it was the girlfriend of this mysterious guy i made out with last weekend... which DIDNT HAPPEN, fyi! so of course audrey was really confused... and so was i... i guess they were looking for another jennifer in hanson... there's one on my floor (but it wasnt her) and i think there's one in the basement (who i dont know)... odd....
anyway, this weekend was fun. ^_^
trust yourself |
Saturday, November 6, 2004: 12:56 a.m.
ahh, the sky is so clear tonight... i have never really been able to see the stars clearly... and tonight... i saw so much that i had missed before...
and it was more than just seeing the stars in the sky...
what a beautiful night~
trust yourself |
Tuesday, November 2, 2004: 09:51 p.m.
i voted today ^_________^ it was exciting. i was so amused~ but i dont wanna stay up so late to find out if we'll even decide on a president tonight~ T_T
trust yourself |
Sunday, October 31, 2004: 05:37 p.m.
UUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
trust yourself |
Saturday, October 30, 2004: 12:25 a.m.
sah~~ just got back from paura-chan's room. it was really fun ^_^ we ordered chinese, put a picture of sharky in her locket (kirei desu yo! i want one!), and watched 2/3 of "rose red"... which i was really freaked out by until we couldnt get the 3rd episode to work and we ended up watching "perfect blue"~
which is a GREAT movie. paura-chan, you win. it was awesome. confusing as hell, but incredible.
i really wanna watch episode 3 of SOS, but i dunno if i can stay awake~ i think i'll get ready for bed and into my pjs and watch it ^_^ that way when i'm done i can just sleep.
oyasumi nasai~!
trust yourself |
Tuesday, October 26, 2004: 08:18 p.m.
kawaii desu ne??
trust yourself |
Monday, October 25, 2004: 02:14 p.m.
omg hot stuff today~
"On the Stages of Perception: Towards a Synthesis of Cognitive Neuroscience and the Buddhist Abhidhamma Tradition"
and, best of all, complete with sexy EEGs and pictures of buddhist monks with electrodes on their heads...
Zen Meditation and Psychotherapy written by dr. tomio hirai~
*drool*
trust yourself |
Saturday, October 23, 2004: 10:51 p.m.
d00d. gettysburg won the football game today. against ursinus. this is the first game we've won all year :O go bullets!
trust yourself |
Wednesday, October 20, 2004: 12:47 p.m.
paula: "my eye is having cybersex with my computer."
me: "and having mac babies?"
paula: "AND HAVING MAC BABIES!!!!"
trust yourself |
Tuesday, October 19, 2004: 10:01 p.m.
Audrey: ::walks in:: "look! i'm wearing red sock! ha ha ha!"
Chris: ".... that was the most random comment ever... i'm gonna watch the sox game."
(10 minutes later [literally])
Audrey: ::kicks chris::
Chris: "...HAHA! RED SOCKS!"
trust yourself |
Sunday, October 17, 2004: 04:06 a.m.
well, today was good, then mediocre, then good, then really really horrible, and now it's back to mediocre.
it's 4:06 am. what the hell am i doing awake? i just got back from jloh and phil's room. i needed to get out of here and get some distraction. they help cheer me up a lot ^_^ thanks guy, j00 r t3h r0x0r5.
there's too much thinking to be done and so much is being put off in my life... i need to clear things out... i need to start over with everything... i just need to let go. why cant i?
trust yourself |
Thursday, October 14, 2004: 06:25 p.m.
no bio tomorrow XD i can actually get stuff done between japanese and religion!!! ::does a happy dance:: maybe i'll take some sewing to work. i need to get some more done with that @_@
trust yourself |
Wednesday, October 13, 2004: 08:29 p.m.
omgogmogmgomgogogoggogomgmgm
"The Eye" is definitely one of the best horror movies i have ever seen.. it was so good. and i'm so freaked out. i seriously am not going to sleep in my room alone tonight. if audrey isnt here, i'm finding someone else to stay with. there is NO way i'm sleeping alone in my room with a mirror at the foot of my bed. it already freaked me out enough last night when i woke up and saw my reflection >< and my door is staying WIDE OPEN and propped, too.
*still freaked out*
trust yourself |
Monday, October 11, 2004: 02:20 p.m.
arrgh, AIM is being really dumb. like i'm on for one second and it disconnects me. i think it's trying to tell me something -_-; oh well, i can always go on at work ^_^;;;
i have nothing to do for tomorrow and i have a really annoying bio lab tonight. like every bio lab, only we have to write a paper on it. -_-; sucks.
trust yourself |
Saturday, October 9, 2004: 12:32 a.m.
i dont really know whats going on anymore... it seems as if all i'm doing is existing... i dont like this feeling... i need something more...
trust yourself |
Tuesday, October 5, 2004: 05:56 p.m.
ahh, back at school. its nice. i dont have anything to do. there are a lot of things i'd like to be doing though......... like being with luis ^_^;; i already miss him and its been, what, less than 4 hours since i last saw him? i guess it's just knowing that he won't be back to hang out with me and stay the night again :-
i do have some crap that has to get done-- study japanese, finish the next chapter in religious perspectives on war, and print out pictures for my mom. i need to clean doom's bowl tonight, too. he's the last one left T_T
sah~~
aishiteru.....
trust yourself |
Sunday, October 3, 2004: 03:30 p.m.
i'm at home ^______^ it's nice. i've been seeing a lot of luis (we've been pretty much attached to eachother since i got home) and it's been really fun having audrey and brian around and showing them my town ^_^ not like there's all that much to do in wyo~~~
sah~ i should have really taken a nap this afternoon. i missed church because i was talking to my parents, and now i missed steph's ceremony thing to welcome her into the church >< but i guess thats ok. i'll be home again soon.....
trust yourself |
Thursday, September 30, 2004: 03:42 p.m.
so, i'm at work. i just took the Belief-O-Matic test AGAIN, and guess what? i changed! within the past year, i have strayed more and more from Christianity... interesting.
my new results:
Unitarian Univeralist (100%) - I don't really like this. All the stuff I can find on Unitarian Universalism is like, "various beliefs, but most blah blah" and its really contradictory. i mean, i like that they're all accepting of other beliefs, and my answers from the quiz probably showed that i was too, but its such a general term... its like, "you're everything, so let's put you here."
Neo-Pagan (94%) - this is actually really interesting. i like it. i think i'll look into this some more. a lot of what beliefnet says agrees with my point of view, but the neo-pagan has more of a nature aspect to it, which i find comforting, somehow. its nice. i'm not sure about the multiple-dieties thing, though.
New Age (94%) - if danielle's church found out, they'd burn me at the stake! they're so completely anti-new-age, its not funny. i actually think that this fits more with me than neo-pagan. i like the whole everything-is-an-embodiment-of-God thing, but not necessarily the reach-altered-states-of-consciousness-through-drugs thing. as for spiritual tools... eh. i dunno. i'm wary. i'm more for the whole channeling power through your self thing. it seems a little unneccessary to me to use things like crystals, and because i dont believe in a completely set fate, psychics dont really do it for me either. the whole "salvation" section can just be thrown out, as far as i'm concerned. i really do like the "Heaven and hell are states of consciousness, self-imposed, due to ignorance of God as all" part.
so, all this was spurred by the psych article i was reading on buddhism last night. it was really interesting. i like a lot of the things they were talking about, but i definitely dont agree with the whole self-not-existing thing. what it sounded like the article was getting at was that when you reach enlightenment, you realize that the self doesnt really exist and you are just part of this great whole. well, ok, i agree that when you become enlightened, you can realize that you're part of this great whole, but that doesnt mean that your self doesnt exist.
that's like someone saying "the finger is part of the hand, but because it is part of the hand, it is the hand, and therefore the finger doesn't exist." that just doesnt seem logical to me... i personally believe that there is a great consciousness/power/force/God/thing that we are all connected to, and that through meditation, you can realize and become closer to that force. However, we all come from that force and are a part of it. Just because we're connected and are part of the whole doesnt mean that we as individuals dont exist.
wow, that was a lot of rambling about my beliefs. i'll stop now. although, i really dont have anything else to do.... i guess i'll just update my LJ and post my percentages of each group there.
trust yourself |
Tuesday, September 28, 2004: 11:45 p.m.
arrgh, today is going SO SLOW!!!!!!!!!
ellie died today :( (one of the fish) but we still have 4 left (omen, doom, yuki, and maru). i changed their water, too.
the stash tea catalog is t3h r0x0r. i keep finding all this hott stuff that i want but have no need for ^_^;;; oops.
i got a book at the library that my psych teacher recommended. it's called the curious incident of the dog in the night-time. it was REALLY good. (i finished it before dinner.) i highly recommend it.... it's written from the point of view of an autistic boy and it takes you through these very emotional periods of his life... only, because he's autistic, he cant experience these emotions and he doesnt understand it fully. i was almost crying at some points T_T
tomorrow i have to work a lot. i said that i'd stay to help out for a dinner thing... that'll go till 7, but i have an FYE thing at 7, so i'm hoping that i can cut out a little early (considering that i'll have been there since 2:30 and i'm only supposed to stay until 4:30...)
we'll see. this week is going by way to slow. probably because i'm looking forward to friday so much -_^ ~*muah!* ::sings:: loving you made me happy every day~~
eeto... you should know who that was directed toward. ^_^;
trust yourself |
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