..Monday, March 31, 2003, 09:34 p.m...
I wish I drank tequila
I wish I stayed up late
But lately when the Sandman comes
You know I just can't wait
No, lately I can't wait

And we packed up all your boxes
It's all been hauled away
I never stare at walls so bare
'Cause something always stays
Yeah something of you stays

And I wanna shout from my guitar
Come out, come out wherever you are
The joke is over, open your eyes
A heart like yours, it never dies
And I found your keys behind your chair
I still can see you sitting there
This isn't funny; don't fool around
You let me go... you let me down

And I guess I'm still pretty angry
And I don't want to be
I don't know which was the bigger waste of time
Missing you or wishing, instead, it was me

I wish I walked on water
Pulling rabbits from my sleeve
Guessing cards and saving everyone
I wish I still believed
Oh I wish that I believed

That I could also channel voices
That I've endured the burning blade
That I could make some of your choices
I wish I weren't afraid
Of those choices that you've made

Like I could give you what you need
So ollie ollie oxen free
The game is up and I give in
So show yourself so that you can win
Come claim your prize and I don't care
I still can see you standing there
How could you leave, how could you lie?
You cut me off in mid-reply

Run all your races
And be what you're gonna be
And let some of us love you
And set thy anger free

And I guess I'm still pretty angry
And I don't want to be
I don't know which was the bigger waste of time
Missing you or wishing instead it was me

The will to win, the urge to race
I still can see it on your face
Thought I'd keep up but only crashed
I wasn't built to move that fast
Thought I could match you stride for stride
But I was on the other side
And holding onto the safety rail
With knuckles white, complexion pale
A cloud of dust and you were gone
Thought I would catch you later on
I limped behind, your race was won
But were you racing or on the run?
How you enjoyed, you loved to drive
And I'm destroyed... 'cause I'm alive

Run all your races
And be what you're gonna be
And let some of us love you
And set thy anger free

Control my contradictions
And allow that my labors thrive
And grant me please the answer
I don't know why I'm still...

In the beginning there was you and me
I would have brushed my world aside
Rather than say goodbye
I would have brushed my world aside
I don't know why I'm still...

And I guess I'm still pretty angry
And I don't want to be
I don't know which was the bigger waste of time
Missing you or wishing, instead, it was me

And I guess I'm still pretty angry
And I don't want to be
I don't know which was the bigger waste of time
Missing you...

~"Pretty Angry" by Blues Traveler

..Monday, March 31, 2003, 04:03 p.m...
konnichiwa! i ran out of pretzels to eat with my nutella! ;_; oh wait! i have another bag! >:} but i think i've had enough for today.... yeah..... my nutella (ya know, the big vat i have?) is 2/3 empty... and i only opened it on saturday. >< so much for my wanting to be healthy thing.... seriously guys, after i finish all the junk food in my house, no more crap for me!! >< and i have to throw out that fudge... haha, kazaa just gave me a runtime error thing, but i know if i click ok, it'll close kazaa and therefore shut off my blues traveler's song. >< i'm obsessed (again) with "the mountains win again".... it was my favorite song for so long. its really good!!! so when its over, i'll close kazaa and stuff..... and i'm having browser problems, too ^_^; but those arent getting taken care of until i'm done with this post! XO but i think i'm done now. my brain is too fried from PSSA's... @_@

..Sunday, March 30, 2003, 08:43 p.m...
LMAO! tonight was SO FUN! coffee talk is great. we talked about the devil. of course, we didnt really come to any conclusions, it was just an information exchange. but it was sooooooooo funny... over dinner, we were talking about the previous coffee talks, and one was about sexuality.... and lauren had this verse from leviticus about how it was wrong to have sex with animals. and so we were talking about how that was the ONLY THING she remembered from that, and whenever someone was in sunday school, she'd be like, "hey guys! read leviticus! look! look!" and start laughing hysterically... needless to say, the confirmands (especially ethan) found this hilarious. so later, (about 1/2 hour into our discussion of the devil) for some reason, owen got leviticus confused with something else.
ethan: "so wait, what happens if someone has sex with an animal?"
jake: "we'll discuss that next week."
steph: "oooh, coffee talk goes deep!"
everyone: (looks around) "HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
we couldnt stop laughing for at least 20 minutes. :- it was quite painful, actually. but it was hilarious, because steph just turned BRIGHT RED and hid her face in her turtleneck. then we finally started to calm down, and elise (who hadnt heard what steph said) was like, "wait, what?" and someone told her, and she started laughing SO HARD! and of course, we all started laughing again...... and then no one could stop for more than 5 minutes the rest of the night. ^_^;; it was really amusing. well, that's all i feel like typing. bye!

..Sunday, March 30, 2003, 03:04 p.m...
so. ermm... nothing at all is new, really >< its quite sad. but i went driving in my mom's car for like 1/2 hour today around my neighborhood.... my dad realized that trying to teach me stick is impossible >< he kept being like, "no! you're doing it wrong again!" and i was like, "maybe if you would tell me how to do it RIGHT i wouldnt be doing it WRONG!!" and i started yelling at him and eventually he just let me go on my own. ^_^;;;;;; i have coffe talk tonight at the wentzel's... i hope i remember how to get there, seeing that i have to give jill's dad directions >< haha, i have no sense of direction OR time! -_-; i should really work on that. when people ask me what i did this weekend, i start telling them all this random stuff that i did somewhere in the past month... ^_^; heh. but anyway. i'm gonna go, because blabbing about nothing on here is pretty worthless. OH WAIT! i forgot! there's like no one coming to spring youth event next weekend! ;_; there's only 50-some people signed up, and we usually have around 120... at winter there were only about 90, and that was a really small group... its so WEIRD! >< but anyway, its seriously time for me to stop. bye!

..Saturday, March 29, 2003, 10:06 p.m...
::sings:: i wanna be... where the people are... i wanna see, wanna see them dancin'... walkin' around on those... whaddaya call 'em? oh - feet! ::stops, looks around:: ¬_¬ *cough* so danielle and i watched "beauty and the beast," "aladdin," and "the little mermaid" tonight. it was fun. but they're all the same >< see, it starts out with the guy, then goes to the girl. the girl tells us what she wants in life, and then the story proceeds while she follows her heart and finds what she wants, only to be interrupted by an evil villain who tries to ruin her plans but is defeated. then the boy and girl get married and live happily ever after, surrounded by a whole bunch of caring people who just magically appeared. yeah. ^_^;;; try it, it works with so many of the classic disney stories. but yeah. we also made chicken noodle soup, ate half a honeydew, strawberries, nutella and pretzels, fudge... what else? oh yeah! coconut pudding! ^.^ it was yummy. we also played piano together and sang songs from .hack//SIGN and played catch in the kitchen. so that was my day.... ^_^;; but i'm gonna go try to find some sheet music/midi files. bye!

..Friday, March 28, 2003, 10:44 p.m...

What Ayashi no Ceres character are you most like??
this quiz was made by Rinna

..Friday, March 28, 2003, 10:15 p.m...
i just found this clip from the end of the "stay away" video (l'arc en ciel)...... Stay Away Dance

..Friday, March 28, 2003, 09:53 p.m...
did i mention i got my vanilla live cosplay outfit today? ^.^ haihai! it fits perfectly, too! except i think i look too fat in it... prolly because gackt has stick legs >< unlike me.... ;_; but thats ok!!!! because its still fun to say that i have clothes like gackt! XD and i also watched the entire 2nd disc of marmalade boy tonight. and ate almost a whole package of milano cookies >< >< >< which isnt helping the costume situation... ^_^;;;;;;;; but that's ok!!!!!! heeheehee! all i need is so i can buy the bracelet.... i think i'm becoming obsessed with it... i've wanted it since i saw it, but i dont wanna send out that much money ;_; oh well, i'll find a way. *evil grin*

..Friday, March 28, 2003, 06:29 p.m...

Goddess of the Moon. Beauty, yet a sadness lurks
about you at times. But hey, pain is beauty,
right?

What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
brought to you by Quizilla

..Friday, March 28, 2003, 06:15 p.m...
everyone like my new layout?? i made a post right before i did this, so here it is again:

so...... interesting *cough* predicament here. the truth is being discovered about kyle. amy and i have been trying our hardest to convince kelcey (kyle's current gf) that what we've been saying is true. it really hurts when you spill your guts to someone and they still dont believe you. it hurts worse when you know that if they dont believe you, then they'll be getting hurt, too. worse than you did. i feel really bad about having to tell her everything, but it was the only way she would ever believe me... i think its just starting to reach her... i dont want to see her get hurt too. i'm just really mad at kyle for putting us all in this mess. all i want to know is what really happened. why it happened. i hope kyle calls me back tonight, or talks to me online later. i'm kind of emotionless when it comes to these types of things when i myself am involved, but when anyone else is included, it really bothers me. i get angry for their sake, because i dont know if they'll be able to. that's one thing i truely hate. seeing nice people hurt because of the stupidity of others. i cant stand it. and i want to do everything i can in order to prevent that from happening any longer.

i'll be home all night. kyle, please call.