Brainless ramblings. I'm worried. Yes. Darn. It's just so... screwed, I can't put it to words. Do you ever worry why your brain works that way? Because I do, and I'm fearful of it, _because_ I can't see what's behind it, and I just can't control my thoughts sometime. It's too free, too unfettered. I hate this particular tendency, grr, I'm trying hard not to (because I promised myself), I'd have to learn, and hopefully have a breakthrough in my thinking, for the better. Or perhaps (worse, horrors of horrors) it's just me.

Oooh, haven't been blogging for so long ^_^ Problems always lie in time: before block tests, no time obviously, after them, no time because spending too much time playing ^_^

Hmm, ok, what did I miss out? Oh, since thursday. Grr, darned physics, I think I got cheated by MCQ a lot, and the structured is so badly done no-one believes. Got rather depressed on the bus, especially when you keep replaying the scene in your head. It was still raining when I got off the bus...
And he looked at the sky, noticing it all blue and bright. Yet the rain was falling, and seemingly getting heavier every passing moment. He doesn't know why, and so asked the sky: Why are you still raining when the clouds are all but gone?
Almost immediately, the rain slowed down from the heavy downpour it was, to a slight drizzle. Just then, the boy was sure the sky told him: Yes, you're right. But, your test is over, and why are you still so down and out?
Yes, it was true, I sort of had that feeling, and got on the transfer bus feeling a little better.

Went home and erm tried to let loose some steam by virtually carving up some jedis. Then programmed from 8 to 9, trying to get string addition of numbers in c++ to work. Migrated downstairs after that, so I'd not be distracted while preparing chemistry. I really wanted to do better for chem, after the disastrous event today for physics. I guess it's really the first time I sat down and really studied for 4 hours straight, for I'm sososo afraid of not doing well, and didn't go to sleep even when I was so darn tired. Went to sleep with recurring dreams of myself waking up to recite one enthalpy change from thermochemistry then falling back to sleep.

[Day Two, Chemistry + Computing Paper]
Was the same the next day. Got on the bus, and tried to memorise the terms and stuff, and tried to get the definitions correct. This time however, even though I tried to sleep for the last 1/2 hour of the journey, I woke up intermittedly several times to recite the enthalphy changes of combustion, formation, Hess' law, and several others, I think. I'm practically swimming in chemistry, being so flooded and totally tuned to the subject itself.
Ok, I didn't do as bad for physics as for chemistry, but as what I told yunching, "You expect me to say the chem paper was ok to those people?" Yes, I'm afraid - I know I did my best, but I'm not so divine to ensure I can do well. And I don't want others to come laughing at me when I get my results back. Panaroid, yes I know I am, after all, who'd care? But I'm still uneasy. Perhaps like what Sookfen says, only the best-est of the best can say they studied and did well and be proud of it, because they have their achievements to back them up.
Computing was ok too, though we didn't feel much like studying, but I got one question for programming wrong!!! OMG!!! It's 9 marks, and just because I left out several stupid multiplications to the answers! *cry* Though I still feel rather lucky... I've got the BASIC background to feel at ease answering the last question, I recently went to the Dragon speech recognition site and read up a lot on the specifications, prices and abilities, and my father works for the insurance company, so I do know how the terms are used (Name of proposer) and how they are arranged on the form/program.

Then spent the next hour deciding where to go (!). Decided on bowling, though we were still rather hesitant, like wanting to go Sim Lim, and actually ended up in Tanglin Mall instead of some other place further down to bowl. Then realised it was boring and _walked_ all the way to orchard and to some place to bowl. Took us 1 1/2 hours, and we were distracted by food, drinks and the new AppleCentre, which was unfortunately closed. When we finally arrived at our destination, we were so tired, that we just sat down on a table to talk, and later left for home and _didn't_ even bowl.

Went home and played multiplayer JDII for most of the night, in preparation for the upcoming wars with the rest of the class ^_^ No, I didn't do any work.

[Day Three, Oral, Aural and Outings :)]
The aural component wasn't done very well, I must say :( But although I screwed up the reading of the passage (too fearful of screwing up), and ended up reading the first part choppily even though I know all but one of the words. Somehow, I got better reading the second part because I remember those two paragraphs gave me this kind of funny feeling of it being very meaningful and interesting, and read it with the feelings the passage gave me ^_^ The chatting part was even better, plently to talk about, and as long the topic is about things that happen at home and stuff, I'm ok as I speak mainly chinese at home anyway. And Whee!!! It's all over!

[Day Three, Part Two]
Played chapteh while waiting for the rest to arrive, and haha it really has been a long long time since I kicked that bunch of feathers around! Borrowed some papers to read while the rest were infected by the fever, and it really took some time to persuade them all to get changed. Although we left really late, the train arrived there exactly on time, in fact 1 second ahead of 11.30am ^_^ Went for lunch at some food court, the very same one we went to after the big walk. Walked to suntec to take 36, although we waited a hell of a time. Got rather untalkative for a while, and just moped around, before getting better - as much as I'd not like to admit it, the words of others still affect much, so much so that I'd feel so out of phase, so anti-social that I'd just play the role of a passive bystander for a while - like the game they played. I so wanted to join in, but something was holding me back.

Bought chips and stuff, and it was interesting to note that S'poreans are pretty forgiving too, like the incident outside the ATM, where someone from our bunch just cut the entire queue without knowing there's people waiting behind. Arrived on the beach at 2.40, where some of us decided to go play ball, while some just sat down to chat and occasionally get struck by a ball out of control. At 3.30, we left to rollerblade. Oooh err! It's so hard to balance yourself at the start, was actually moving backwards while trying to move forward. The humps were hell though - those new all fell several times while trying to cross the 'neutral' point, either because we can't cross and fell back, or because we crossed, gained too much speed and fell again. Muahahaz though I've gotten the hang of it, albeit occasionally drawing amused stares from others seeing me struggling vainly against gravity, and failing to cross the hump.

Sookfen decided not to skate after the first hour, but Xiaonan and I still wanted to trying practicing, so we got some others to continue too. Several changed to cycling or stopped, while those continuing got wristpads, and returned to our bags to place our shoes.

You know, accidents just have to happen. There's this (rather steep, at least to the newbies) slope down the path into the main skating/cycling path. (I've already fell once rather unglamourously while carrying my shoes, ending up with both shoes on either sides, and me sprawled on the road for quite some time, as I fell yet again while trying to stand up, 'rescued' by jeremy :P, who helped me get the shoes back and stuff) Was telling xiaonan about the steepness and worrying that I'd fall yet again when she just slipped. Falling is contagious, and when I saw the fall I had this instantaneous feeling of imbalance and fell too, so I didn't see the how she fell, until everyone got around and heard how she fell using her fingers to break her fall, and the unknown extent of injury.

Oh erm yah they cancelled the plan to fake the extent of the injury, so I'd just continue from where I left.

A flurry of activity. Yunching skated away to find where to get first aid, and when he returned, Jeremy and Christopher sped off in search of the police post, with Yunching joining them after some time. Slowly skated on with Xiaonan and with Sookfen biking near us. Yunching later returned with news that the Police Post was already closed down. Jeremy and Christopher also returned, and the former seemed to have suffered a terrible fall at high speed ^_^ Sookfen offered to stay behind and look after Xiaonan while the rest continued skating to use up the rest of the time. Hehe, though I've become much more cautious after that, especially when crossing ramps and gradients.

It was then decided that we go to the nearest clinic (somewhere near Parkway Parade). The doctor had then advised her to go to SGH, and YC, Jeremy and SF took a cab with Xn to SGH while the rest followed by bus.

Got off near Suntec, but was badly delayed by the giant screen showing the 3rd/4th placing of the World Cup, where we just sat there for a while watching the game, before reluctantly moving towards City Hall MRT, where we took the train to Outram Park. Tai An was then 'boasting' about his many visits to the hospital, only to be severely 'niaoed' by jiaqi :) got there, and just sat around watching the match, occasionally reading interesting paragraphs from fhm as pointed out by yunching. then talked a lot, made a lot of noise and drew lots of black faces from the people there. by the time everything was done, the food court in the hospital was already going to close, so we ended up in 7-11 to have our dinner.

And this entry seems supremely boring and rambling and ... Because I don't really have much time for writing a better one and am sick of writing and want to just complete it and get over it :) I still have the class log to write you know... ^_^

Ok, one paper down. (Hmm, can't really think of what to blog with my earphones blasting) Erm yeah, losing 21 marks may not seem a lot, but I'm careless to the extreme, and I'm sure at least 1/4 of the (remaining) marks will be lost, gone with the wind, and hmm guess we'd all have to do well for our promos, huh? :)

Ok, I always wonder why we fake ourselves and the world around us so much. I know that by putting on a super-sad face would lower other's expectations of your grades, so when the results come back, people would go wow if you do well, and don't think about it if you don't. No doubt, but for me, I was like smiling all the way because I couldn't care even if I failed the paper outright then - live for the moment, as they say. And guess what happens when others don't perceive you as sad? They think, oh this guy did well. And when I get back my results soon, they'd think, ha! he barely passed and he thought he did so well?... Oh sure, I did try very hard to bitch about the darn paper, to tell others I did terribly, and how I expect to fail, to lose all my marks, etc. Postiche, I am.

I wonder if I had said things wrongly again. Have had this terribly nagging feeling once reaching home, as I usually do reflect on what I said and did during the day. As usual, the feeling of extra-ness permeates my thoughts, and worries of what I said and what I did wrongly resurface from under the turbulent, frothy brainwaves. Sometimes when I try to push the kudos away, I know I must have looked very discomfited, because I just can't think fast enough of a reply that would not only deflect it, nor put it across in a tongue-in-cheek style. And when I try to palliate someone else's pain, do I ever do it properly? Wasn't I noisy and annoying throughout the whole afternoon period? Couldn't I just have done my physics and kept my mouth quiet? After all, seldom does anything good come out from it.

Ok, I'm just feeling very off-phase, anomalous, and comtemplative today. Nothing's wrong with me - it's just that I don't write these normally in my entries. And today the mood was correct for such self-blasting and such. I don't feel like putting a single smiley face. Sigh.

Physics tomorrow. Oh, how I hope I don't screw up the paper, and the day as well. Shoot me. :(

Darn, Pitas refreshed on me, _twice_! Grr, so I'd have to retype everything again...

Supposed to wake up at 7am this morning to go to school early and do some work, but ended up rising only at 8.30am, waking up intermittedly for breakfast, washing my face and brushing my teeth. Gave up in the end and decided to do try to finish up some work instead before leaving for school.

There's this NSW test, which I left almost immediately upon completion, before which I was lost in a titanic struggle between the council of the brain whether or not to check my paper. When I saw the first person leave, I gave up and joined him. Returned to class bench, where I just sat there doing a little maths (actually just staring at my scripts). Was extremely unproductive after lunch, as I did practically nothing in the entire course of the whole afternoon, other than doing an occasional maths problem that stubbornly refuses to be solved, laughing over my silliness in declaring a problem unsolvable without knowing I've already solved it, debugging programs, doing others' physics questions, reading magazines, and just about anything except the most important one - maths, which is tomorrow. Grr, am I so going to be dead.

Reached home and _slept_, and even after dinner I wasn't in the right mood to study - searched for music, searched for movies, watched my progress bar slowly fill up for the downloading of the 800meg movie from KaZaA. Only managed to force myself to do a little maths, like correcting the errors I've made in the previous tutorials and stuff, reading my notes and adding points to watch out for, while being totally distracted all the time by the computer and music. Yay, it's now approaching midnight and what work have I done? Maybe I should define work as just the total distance travelled by an object for writing * effort put into writing. Grr, which is more or less tending to zero ><

"Aiyoh, you also got outbreak ah?" - Zhanquan

Grr, and my face is so-so-so itchy! Must fight against urge! Must resist impulse to scratch! Must...

The magic in music lies, I think, not only in the main melody, but also in how well the accompaniment goes. There's beauty in how these two harmonise, the delicate support of the main melody, the soft notes in the background truly bringing forth the essence of the main theme. Just imagine dinner with nothing else but rice, imagine a painting without any backdrop nor setting. One cannot go without another, no matter how insignificant it may seem or sound initially.

红梅随想曲 is really the song that can allow me to truly enjoy every portion of it. The erhu main theme, the accompaniment like the bass and dizi - all seem to fit seamlessly together, 相辅相成, bringing out the best in this erhu solo piece. Nice and pleasant, this is probably my most favoured song of all. My mother told me that she used to like to sing this song while she was pregnant with me, hmm so maybe it's due to that that I've become so addicted to this song. Or maybe it's just good ^_^

Yay, GP is over, just like that! Hope I don't flunk it too badly ^_^, my parents were like wondering what are the two 5's about on my result slip. And I suggest not to take a too heavy breakfast, stomachaches during exams can kill, can hardly write anything for some time.

And yay, I finally got my code for the time stamp up ^_^ Shall now practice Fish's File Merging and incorporate the new database with the old. Doesn't sound as easy as it seems >< Or maybe I should get back to work...

Ok, it's GP tomorrow, so I guess it's justifiable for me to blog and say that I'm still studying, hmm?

Isn't it amazingly fast how 4 weeks of holidays just swept past? It just went by, leaving me in a daze, so much so that it just didn't seem like the block tests begin tomorrow. Competitions, CO practices, CenTaD, mugging marathons/sessions, preparations... It didn't even seem like a holiday at all. I'm feeling ill at ease - for one thing I don't even seem to be ready for the BTs, for another, it _didn't_ even feel like school will be reopening tomorrow. A new term, a new semester, let's hope I don't screw up a perfectly good start to a new beginning by flunking all my tests. Did I say I've yet to touch on even a single GP assignment? ><

Oooh!... Wish I had that Nokia Communicator thingy, everything incorporated into one. Sweet!

Power up your light sabers, people. I got this feeling that everything ain't going to be right tomorrow.

"how's revision? ready for hell tomorrow?" - Zhiyang

Woke up a little late, after having been chased to bed at 1.30 by Dad. Ended up a little late at KAP, where Lennon has just arrived. Was so unlucky, we were caught in the rain while halfway between KAP and Ngee Ann and was soaked almost to the skin. Lennon was worse off, his sausage McMuffin came apart in his bag, and I shall not divulge the grisly details ^_^

The competition also saw us screwing up big time. We were supposed to configure a small network from scratch, assigning 3 subnets and static routes. It should have been easy, and we were breezing through the start, with an occasional hiccup here and there. The real trouble begun when we can't ping E0 of Router A for some reason, and wasted a lot of time just checking for interface & cable problems, which were non-existant. We finally realised our Access-Control List was a bit screwed and is probably the cause of inability to send ICMP messages to Router A, and rectified it. By then only less than half an hour is left, and we were still plagued with a mysterious problem denying us the ability to ping from Com A to B, and we finally realised that we've made a typoerror in the IP address assignment! Grr. Spent the last 2 minutes booting up the computer so that we can test whether our access-list is working fine. Oops. I forgot to allow ICMP traffic to return to A by placing an implicit deny any at the end of the list. But hmm, I guess since we've completed the main objective :P who cares about the side effects!... In fact all the CHS and HJC people were facing much problems with the access-lists - In fact that's our only problem, and it sure caused us a lot of grief...

Went for lunch later with the CHS juniors at KAP, and learnt much interesting stuff about what's happening at school, like how our Geography teacher Powell quit half-way after teaching them, the new humanities, the computer lessons, etc... And talked about JC, O levels and all that stuff.

Later returned to the class bench at around 2pm, and found only Lawrence there. Did chemistry until 6pm, with intermits here and there, like me walking around the school with an icecream and trying to find the class bench for 02A12. Finished making a bunch of notes for chemistry, and its OMG, I practically used up the entire Gigahertz notepad just for one subject! Wonder how much ink was that.

Left for home. Little interesting happened after that :P

"You know, it's Blizzard's fault that they have to come up with such good games now, especially when the O levels are so near" - My junior (of unknown name :P) in KAP

After wasting so much time, finally managed to settle down for a while to study a little. I actually felt a little inspired in the late afternoon to do my work after finding out a new way to study ... :) Was being rather evil this afternoon, laughing at the rest of the world who were then glued to the gogglebox. No, I shan't even try to watch :), don't want to be addicted to it in such an inappropriate time ^_^

Spent the afternoon studying for the stoopid Cisco Challenge competition thingy. Sigh, still hope to strike for first, but it no longer seems so easy any more. Urgh wish me luck would ya, it's round two of the competition tomorrow >< Hope it'd be easy.

Blogging is on a major decline nowadays ^_^ Wonder why hmm? And darn, the mosquitos seemed to have declared vendetta on me today, let me count, 5, five bites!! All targetted at my poor feet :( And face is still burning from the acne cream applied over the scratched parts. Oh yes, and I had to dump the tulip today, there's just this erm stalk left, wonder where did the petals go.

"No... England lost to Germany, right?" - Dad, in reply to Mum's comment about the afternoon match

"Footballitis is spreading. There is no cure, but we are currently working on a cream." - I can't forget this stupid line from the advertisment ^_^

Had to wake up early today again to go to Ngee Ann to learn about access control lists on routers and stuff... Was early, so tried out some of the porridge at Mac. Oh and stumbled into the filming of a new Mac advertisment I think, sat down on the chairs in the first floor for a while until I was politely 'chased' upstairs, before I realised the entire level was filled with the extras and actors and stuff ^_^ And hmm, the porridge is just ok, nothing special, no?

Played around with routers later, revised our access-control lists today, hmm and I think I better spend some time practicing on the routers - The competition is less that 2 days away. But the BTs are next week! NoOoOo! What a ill-suited time for the competition, must go complain to the organisers ^_^

And speaking of the block tests, were at school today again, and a seemingly innocuous move to get the past block test answers and questions ended up in a major disaster. There wasn't enough paper to print for everyone, so we just made one copy, and that took 1 hour, as the printer was extremely incooperative. Koped the photocopying card and rushed to the xerox room, and realised it closed. Rushed back to the library, realised there isn't enough credit to zap all the pages. Came up with the only solution, which is to copy one side, print the other. And the printer just had to malfunction, spitting out either junk or nothing. _And_ the library closes at 5pm, so there's this person trying to get us out of the library. So, at 5.15pm, out of money, out of time and out of luck, we gave up trying to print the last page. Saw the worst of Murphy's law in action :( And did I say I didn't touch any work at all throughout the whole afternoon? ><

Tried to digest some notes on the bus, but was so stressed and tired out by the events earlier on that I gave up. Ended up sleeping on the bus, but funnily I still seemed to be trying to study, as I remember rather clearly, while treading the line of consciousness, trying to think through some questions on chemistry ^_^ Darned block tests, 让我睡觉时都不能安眠...

And guess what? I went home and slept all the way until 10pm. Great. Can someone please go blow up the school?

"Silly is you in a natural state, and serious is something you have to do until you can get silly again." - Mike Myers

A super unproductive day >< I didn't do anything worth mentioning, other than collate all my Chemistry notes/work into one nice ex-sec1-computing file, ended up with a rather blocked nose from all the dust ^_^ And other than that, zilch, nada, nothing else. And Chemistry is only like less than a week away. Oh dear, I'm never going to finish any revision on time :(

And I so wanted to pop by my cousins' home downstairs to fiddle around with their pianos because I'm still trying to learn Canon... Kaihong has only taught the chords and part of the songs, but I've heard it enough times to maybe get the main gist of it. Hmm but guess it isn't the right time, no? ^_^ Left-Right Coordination sucks. Blah.

And whee, it's Garfields' 24th birthday today I think!... Happy Birthday Garfield ^_^

And I still so want to make a new layout... >< But nope, guess I'd find time after the block tests to do one...

For those still worried about getting the K.Lez virus, you might need a security upgrade...
As I suppose not everyone has broadband and may have gotten the patch, you should go to Help menu, and click About Internet Explorer. If you see Q321232 in the list of update versions, you need not download this... It also only applies for IE 5.0 and above ^ ^
Q321232 Security Upgrade Info Page

And isn't it annoying when people just send virus warnings over the net without checking their authenticity... Like the one asking you to delete a file on your comp, and interestingly people just do tt. Had to send a mail to a friend after receiving such a mail from him, including a list of sites which you can find info on the hoax and asking him to send to his 'victims' ^ ^ Hmm starting another round of email spam.

Ok, let's see what I have on my "To Blog" list on the desktop. Oh haha, still can't forget how I told Jeremy "Which one?" over the phone when he asked "Is that Junyi". Been at CO for too long and too often, and there happens to be another Junyi1, CO, erhu and we've been in the same orchestra for 4 1/2 years. Recently have gotten into the habit of asking "Which one" whenever someone shouts my/his name, but hrm it sure is a bit illogical to say it over the phone. Instinct, I guess ^_^

Today? Hmm nothing much, other than waking early to go to Ngee Ann Poly for some sort of training on the routers, though it's mainly just revision for us ^_^ but we've revised a lot and learned much that we've forgotten. Was given the task of setting up the network, and our section (4 teams) successfully completed the task, and was able to ping from 1 computer to another, going through 2 hubs and 3 routers. Though I don't think the other team did, because they left rather early. Was rather happified when we succeeded, hopping all over when we saw !!!!! (Successful ping 5/5). Whee... ^_^

Found a wallet outside the toilet in Ngee Ann, which has no name, no nothing. My junior who also came for the competition (happens to go by the name of Jiaqi too ^_^) was like trying to persuade me to keep the $9, though I'd probably feel uncomfortable if I did that. So returned to the office, some kind of student affairs thingy, and had to actually fill in a form... To think even finding things and returning them is troublesome ^_^

Asked Lennon to call the rest in school, if they'd like to go for lunch together, and decided to go to Coro. When me and Lennon arrived, those people were just about to go from school, so I decided to head back while Lennon didn't want to go into the sun... Met them just as they are about to leave the school gate, hmm guess I was bored ^_^

Went to Prince, and had quite a long interesting chat on lots of stuff ^_^ Returned to school, at around 2.30pm, and fiddled around with a camera, trying to see what's wrong with it, and jiaqi got a littled frazzled after receiving a electric discharge probably through a capacitor. Gave up when it was evident nothing could be done anyway, and left for the library, where we did some work and discussed on some physics questions. Left to continue a little after the library closed at the class bench, before leaving for home.

Update on the flower - Refilled the water once, scotched taped the broken stem back in place, but think it's dying >< One petal is already on the verge of falling...

And hmm those using KaZaa, I might have a theory on why your downloads are so slow... After a certain amount of downloading, you'd have to reach an upload quota to be able to receieve files at optimum speed. Not sure whether it's true though...

"It's usually the guys carrying flowers in to VCH and girls carrying them out - Horse"

Hmm, I'm supposed to be studying Cisco now, but guess there's just too much to blog >< Anyway, I've yet again swapped my online time as I'm supposed to go down to Ngee An Poly tomorrow to play around with the routers, so guess I better learn a bit more about the syntax and stuff ^ ^

And hmm, I thought the test wasn't that inaccurate ... Fits me fine :P

What a hectic day :) Reached school at 9am, and went over to CHS to climb over the gate, didn't know there was a hole in a gate somewhere in school for me to go through. Managed to finish/skip finish the physics tutorial, and did some questions on an unused maths booklet I found in the dustbin months ago ^_- Haven't touched Chemistry nor Computing nor GP nor CLAO, whee am I going to fail them or what.
Anyway, got bored at 11am and decided to go to the CO room to find the rest to go for lunch. Returned just in time, slightly late though, and was briefed on the concert. Went down to wait for a bus that came rather late, and was made to lug 300 programme booklets around and finally onto the bus, and funnily wasn't sweating much even in that suffocating outfit. Arrived at VCH finally at 1.55pm, 10 mins behind the schedule, and hurried about carrying the instruments here and there. Not much happened, other than the vending machine cheating me of 2 50cents, and turning off all the lights in the dressing room listening to junyi1's telling us about others' CO camps and his wistful wishes of having been in tt CO instead of TCHSCO, for reasons you wouldn't want to know ;) The rehearsal was quite well, and the GadaMeilin was the best I've heard from this orchestra ^_^

The performance was ok, other than several hiccups here and there, and Gada wasn't as good. Though hmm I feel sorta bad for dragging my classmates along, they didn't seem to enjoy it, no? And the poor flower I received was unfortunately already snapped at the stalk, so it was bending all over the place :( Quite a show down there too ^^

We had to carry the instruments down to the lorry and back to the school, and it was already very late then, around 11+pm when we finally reached the school. After packing the instruments into the room, it was already past 12mn. No more buses, so shared a taxi with Joscelyn (however u spell tt name) and Gwaz. Hmm well, at least the taxi fare wasn't as crazy as I thought it will be, it's only $20 after midnight surcharge.

Started drizzling when I reached home at around 1.30. Such questions always leave me thinking, like why did I give up, which I replied in my standard bufferunderrun (ie crap free flowing, un-understandable, confused, etc) way. Sat down on a chair facing the windows, viewing the night sky, enjoying the soft pattering of rain on the ground below, the zephyr, while slowly tearing and biting each piece of the bun. Brought back much memories the rain did, and always with that hollowed feeling in the chest, the tug on the heartstrings. Did want to look through it again, but it now lies somewhere, deep inside the drawers, and also within the recesses of the shards of floating memories.

And yes, lazy pig I am, waking up only at 12.30pm :P Better get back to my Cisco, homework and stuff ;)

Okok, I came here specifically to say tt I have to come online in the morning as Cisco is always down for maintainence (ask lennon, he knows too) in the night, when I'm allowed to come on! So I'm studying now k...

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

Don't ask me why I took the test ^ ^

And anyway, I broke my oath today, after deciding to swap today's night computer usage for the afternoon. Yay.

V. tired now. Got the message box thingy to work, can close, can post, can refresh, but for some reason the subroutine for minimising just cannot be called. Heck, I'm going to sleep now, and blog tomorrow on today's event ;) Nitez.

Got my concept map for my message box ready here ^ ^

Yes exKGB, I'm keeping my promise :P Though I must admit, I'm close to breaking it - turned on all the power switches, my hands already touched the power button, but I still resisted in the end ^ ^

Another day swept past, the countdown has begun
Reached school at 8.30, because I wanted to study because I forgot the time to meet in school for CenTaD project (only knew it was early in the morning, figured it can't be 8), so ended up on the rather dusty class bench, and (tried to) study for my Maths. Ok, so I nodded off several times, but I didn't fall asleep! *triumphant look* Was skimming past Small Angle Approx when Yunching came, so at least it wasn't a completely unproductive morning :)

Met up with Mr Tang to discuss on the ultimate fate/direction of research project. Guess it's fixed, we're doing signal processing on music, etc, though image processing looks tantalising, I must admit, guess it's really beyond our scope (Fourier Transform? Space-Variant Point Spread Function? Kalman Filtering? Etc...)

Passed the CO tickets to Horse, ooh finally got them off hand, I feel safe again ;) Though it's unlikely anyone will rob me of my 7 tickets. Went with Lennon and Yunching to Venezia, the icecream is good, but the price tag is off the planet. Thought about the 3.50 for the two scoops the whole time ^ ^ Went to the nearby hawker center for a proper meal, and ate Nasi Briyani there - It's really nice! The school's Briyani 5uX0r. Discussed a little on the values of life, killing and all that.

Oh, speaking of killing, I saw those cute chicks (bird!!! squash dirty thoughts*) in the nursery for the CenTaD-Seri project. Junyi1 told me their doomsday is on next Monday, where they will be *cough* put to sleep *cough*, their eyeballs *cough* borrowed *cough* and measured, so as to do research ALREADY done before on myopia. Poor things.

And how do they expect us to study for Cisco when it's down for maintainence everytime I go there??
Listening:
Through Heaven's Eyes - Prince of Egypt
The Saga Begins - Weird Al, Star Wars Parody to American Pie (I loved this music ^ ^)

Dear Networking Challenge Contestant,

Congratulations!

We are pleased to inform you that your team has qualified to take part in Round Two of the Networking Challenge 2002.

Yay!

"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research" - Ailene
Kapoked from yinkae's site... How true :P

Star Wars Parody of American Pie (the song!) http://sagabegins.com/lyrics.html
http://sagabegins.com/thesagabegins.mov

Don't miss 'em if you have broadband :)

Me's a bit early today, but I want to sleep early today >< Tired, tired, tired... Woke up at 5.45 to my new watch's alarm, as I wanted to reach school by 7. Happens that I got lazy and woke up at 6, by the time I got my breakfast ready (consisting of a poorly concocted drink and a piece of plain bread) and changed, it's already 6.15. Spent 15 minutes walking all the way from my house to the main road, didn't take the transfer bus as 1) it cost $$, 2) I have all the time in the world. Hmm, never heard the birds chirp so loudly before...
Met a junior (forgot his name, the exchairman of co) on bus, one which I've never talked to much before, and it's just amazing how much you can talk about, CO, studies, school, the principal *urgh*, etc.
Reached school after a long bus ride, which I can swear is among the slowest bus I ever rode on. Knowing that Cheeyong would be there already mugging, I joined him at his CT bench, and together attempted to solve some MCQ questions. Mind you, it's just a bunch of physics MCQ question, but I tell you, Q12 (or something, it's about a monkey and a ladder) of 2002 Physics Block Test 1 is murder - We both cracked our heads over tt question for 1/2 hour, with no progress, unless you consider progress as having only one equation with 3 unknowns. Ok, so after him breaking his head last night and mine today, we still can't solve it - and he got an A for physics.
Anyway, wanted to buy some peanuts, so rushed to the vending machine, as I was rather late already. Ended up deciding I've got a sore throat, blocked nose and ain't suitable for food. Then met Gwaz and half-walked half-ran to the CO room ... I mean, it's not really late right? You're only 5 minutes late... Just look at the rest of the exco ^ ^
CO was quite interesting today... the two encore pieces, although I've never played them before, were ok, as one is in D major (the base for erhu), and another one is one song that I've heard before. I usually can't play any songs by just looking at the scores, D or not, because I've a screwed sense of music + tempo... but once I know how it goes (well enough, that is), I don't even need the scores - because I still don't know how to speed-read them [^_^]*
Ran through all the songs, past lunch time, and talked a lot today. Ate at SIM, which reminds me, our class has never been to SIM before right?
Practised the erhu pieces all the way till 5. Not much to write anyway, I'm feeling sick, tired and just want to flop down on my bed to sleep. Perhaps I'd bath first. Perhaps I'd do my physics TYS after that. Perhaps...

Nah, I'd just sleep.

And Kaihong tells me... "Hey isn't there little to write about your life now after tt?" Hmmz, you're wrong, just look at how much I wrote today! ;)

Ok, my guest book still looks terrible, the view guestbook worse, not scrollbars, no nothing, and yes, I tried scrollbars for the main text -- IT SUCKS.

Hmm, I guess I've hit a block for now... Will come up with a new design, maybe in several months time or so ;) Sick of HTML, Javascript, PHP and CSS.

I used to think of those who hide their feelings as rather fake, but now I guess they are the ones who are actually don't allow their emotions to affect others...
From 成长是一种美丽的痛苦："隐藏情绪是礼貌，也可以见出你的自制力和修"
It's a nice book ^ ^ And hmm ever since I found out how to use that IME, been using it a lot on ICQ ;)

Hmm, yep missed yesterday's entry because I was again chased to bed by my parent >< Went to KAP for lunch to mass-mug, although the environment there isn't that good, which Christopher said was. It is noisy, smell of fries wafting throughout the restaurant, permeating your nostrils and making me drool. Of course, I had a blocked nose that day, so it didn't count, and I have a fetish for fries... (Note: Ms D. Chan IS wrong... yar, the connotation for fetish is there, but it just means abnormally obsessive preoccupation (dictionary.com) here) ... And David is complaining of a terrible smell, which he swore is carbon monoxide + a myriad of chemicals which are carcinogenic, free-radicals etc. And yep, so it isn't very conducive indeed.

But amazingly, we just did our work all the way... Well, until we started talking of course, but I shan't elaborate on that. And the lunch is fantastic ;) We bought tons of stuff from cold storage (bread, apple juice, chicken) and brought them INTO Mac, buying only a token pack of fries (I couldn't resist!), and asked for 4 cups of water (so we can hold our drinks) Erm yeah, the food part was most memorable ;)

And yep, boring day for both, just did TYS followed by TYS, when I got sicked of structured, did MCQ. Actually, it was rather inefficient, I daresay less than 50% of the time was actually spent productively. And yep, I'm reaching school tomorrow at 7am, although CO starts at 9, and I'm thinking of cleaning the class bench (suggestion from a friend), meditating in the field, and doing some work. Yep, sounds like fun.

And yes, I noticed it's extremely easy to get rid of pimples on photos ;) After being niao-ed by my sister about the desktop photo (ME!), I removed them using a combination of blur and half-tones ;) Mwahaha! I think I did a great removal job!

Argh, I can't blog now, been fiddling with the layout for the past 2 hours... So perhaps I'd write some more tomorrow!... night, that is :(

And yes, the page isn't ready yet... Tmr I shall transfer the marquee to the view guestbook instead and change my main text into a scrolling layer! Yeah.

Guess a six-lettered word which is easier to give than to receive?...

Isn't it easier to give advice than to accept it and use it, even when it's you who gave it? I don't know, there always seems to be a standard set of replies for any situation, for which everyone can tap, but when it comes to applying it to myself, would I be able to make use of it? And I wonder if saying too much sometimes may cause more harm than good.

And it's the last day of unrestricted access of this comp. :(

Haha, I guess it's really too noticeable huh...
Uncle - Must drink more water! The weather is quite hot nowadays, and sleep more!...
Aunt - Wha!! What happened! *rushes off, rummages about, returns with two tubes*

Guess what they're referring to? ^ ^
Yep, but at least I got loads of advice, loads of benzoyl peroxide (in forms of facial wash and cream) and loads of laughs...

I don't know, we (ok, perhaps I only) always gripe when we couldn't get something we wanted, yet lament about it after we have gotten it. No, I don't regret taking up CenTaD, but it's just that perhaps I'd be more free in choosing what I want, and maybe there's something more fun out there than academic research and all that stuff.

~~~ Brief Respite ~~~

Impression counts. I guess being new helps, because people don't know you, people don't look at your past and say, hey this person sucks, just look, he has absolutely nothing to back himself up!...
Isn't it too late to kvetch now? (Hmm, interesting word - an synonym of complain)
I wish I could tell my sister all these, so that she wouldn't fall down this path like me, so that she wouldn't look back in regret in future. But I guess you can't really tell this to others - they'd have to learn, experience it themselves. So perhaps the most I can do is a few prods here and there to try to keep her on track. And hope luck will keep her there.
But I guess it's never too late to regret, to change, to try overwrite, or at least append to, your past, so perhaps in the future people wouldn't look at you with the same "condescending" eyes. Better to have regretted, and tried to change, then to have never repented? I've barely touched 1/4 of my life, so erm yep ^ ^

And yes, my hand is aching now - ran out 1/2 way to deliver some dumplings to my uncle 1 storey below, but ended up playing the piano, trying to memorise/practise the chords for Canon, which Kaihong has tried rather hard to teach ;)

Can you believe it, I spent 2 1/2 hours thumbnailing, upload and captioning on all 41 pictures of our class outing >< Now, come and vist that page pretty please, and don't put to waste all my hard work huh? :)
Class Outing, Ice World, 29th May 2002

Oopsie. I found a way to make add a scrollbar to a layer >< Which means I can now remove my scrolling marquees... Well, perhaps I will implement it soon, and remove the javascripts...

And yay! 我终于了解如何用视窗Xp的华文输入法(IME)!

And I got that hair cut today at last :P About time, and it has served its' use as a sunshade...

Was back at CHS and met up with a erhu junior, where we chatted a little, and he told me what his form teacher (4D ppl - our physics teacher) told him:
The 'O' Levels is the 2nd most stupid way to gauge a student's ability. The 'A' Levels is the stupidest.
Hmm.

Anyway, although I slept at 3 yesterday, I was rather awake the whole of the morning for some reason, but lethargy finally caught up with me. The whole morning was spent going through every song, and really, with such standards we shouldn't really be going to VCH. Spent the whole afternoon rehearsing the entry and exit for the day. Results of the coexco was released too, though the results were rather unexpected - junyi1 didn't even get the post of the VP, and became the secretary instead. I mean, the bureaucracy is screwed... first they said he isn't strong-willed enough to hold that office, then they said he might not be able to work with yunying as the VP, ie meaning that he's too headstrong... Hmm, oh well. Not that Yunying wouldn't be a suitable president, but its just the decision-making part of the exco that seems a bit off.
And yep, gratz to Gwaz too, for getting the post of vice-secretary... :)

Grr. Think I'm going to sleep now, and try to recover from my flu by tomorrow to do work that's supposed to be done on monday, as there's going to be a class outing (hopefully). *sniff**cough*

Rather unproductive for the past hour. Shall start on re-organising/indexing my physics notes... ^_^

Wonder what if we don't get into round II, what if there's really 10+ schools obtaining a perfect 100, what if they kick out all CCNAs, what if...

And this poor ant came along and decided to taste how's my coffee like. Needless to say it's now three feet under...

And yep, much thanks to Avedis, exKGB, Xiaonan, Mum *lol*, TeLEcUD|e for the help with the colour co-ordination and the suggestions!... ^-^ But keep them coming in! ;)

Just planned a two week killer revision plan... I hope I can stay true to it ><

Assumptions made... (Ideal Student) *cough*
1. No other activities other than CO
2. Efficiency at studying = 100%
3. Distraction from work < 80%


Now I'm beginning to wonder why make plans at all.
But hmm, better than not making one, at least I'd have a target?

Good luck to all in your BT revisions! (Somehow I wished my parents will ban me from using comps too...)

Everyone has changed, so much, just so much - It's like we've all been rudely shocked to this new world. Where's the starry-eyed, pollyannaish, unfettered people we all once knew and loved? Cynicism, pessimism, all these... We're growing up to what the world expects of us, not as how we want to be. I look at the past photos taken, and sigh not only for the unforgettable past, but mourning for the lost of something special about the class - What's that? I don't know, but can't you feel it?...

Never mind. I don't make sense. All objects have at least two faces to them, just like the two sides to a coin for everything. There's good and there's bad, I've just been seeing the bad side too often.

Yes, and New Scientist is finally up again!

And geez, I wish I started writing these earlier...

Avedis: Which blue text? =) I can't find any in my entries... Thanks for the suggestion too ;)

Polymorphism: Haha :P Hoped so. It's hell of a trouble trying to think of a way to actually make all these things work on a single page ;)

ExKGB: Hmm sorry, it isn't a scrolling layer as I've written earlier on |^_*|, but a marquee, so it'd automatically restart after reaching the bottom or the top ;) Spent too much time messing with layers, css clipping and all that before deciding to take the shortcut, sideeffect that netscape ppl can't read my blog anymore :(

Mwahaha... love you guys loads... thx for all the comments and suggestions ;)

And I wonder, does it make reading more difficult now? It seems to me though, any suggestions on whether I should increase the scroll speed? And keep the suggestions coming in :) I've no sense for colours ^-^ And I asked my mum what colour she would choose for the main text, she suggested something dark. So I combined blue and dark to give me dark blue :)

And oooh, I love that phrase on the right (yes, your right) ;) See that, below the words "Thoughts Unsubstantial"? It's special, because it just flowed out of me as I tried to think of something to write in that space ;)

*Heaves a sigh* Ok, after working 3+ hours straight on this, I can't think straight anymore. The colours look awful, because I haven't got the time to mix and match and experiment. Please please please, if you can suggest any better colour, do so, because I've seen enough of red & pink, with a dash of blue.

*Yawn* I better sleep. Nitez guys! Using marquees now, will be easy to swap multiple 'pages' on on page, so perhaps I'd time to write more about myself... And yes, because this thing uses marquees, people using netscape wouldn't be able to see it. But then again, if you're using netscape, you wouldn't be seeing this either. Hmm.

And perhaps I do believe so =)

Oh no, New Scientist has been down for sooo long! Wonder what's wrong...

It's always harder to treasure something until you have lost it... I'm glad to stay in the class, but I wonder whether everyone really appreciates all their time here, as fully as those who've left?

Is it merely a fa鏰de? I shall give the benefit of the doubt =) After all, people change, for the better in this case, I guess - why judge people on what they once did, when there's nothing unalterable in the way people behave.

And yes, I forgot again to get my stooopid TYSes from the locker again. Oh wait, I didn't forget, I even went to the locker in the bright early morning. But when I looked at the condition of my bag, I thought, Hmm, better put it in the bag after CO. What a plan, after all, I'd definitely see the lockers when I pass by the class bench, and I'm supposed to study before going to AMK to pass some tickets to someone from Mayflower at 6. Nothing could go wrong.
How, how fortunate :P I was actually persuaded to go and play some basketball when I can't even shoot a ball properly. And guess what? I was in such a rush I forgot to go back to my locker, and didn't even pass by the class bench as the other bus stop was nearer. Yay, another two days without TYSes.

Ok, I'm supposed to be doing work =) But I just wanted to do a layout I've thought of badly. Maybe I'd be back to work if I fail. Well, you'd know if I do ^-^

About time I did something about the stupid spam I receive everyday, it's like I'd get 30+ emails a day on all kinds of stuff. Let's hope the unsubscribe function works on all of them. Wonder how was I ever subscribed to so many mailing lists...

Empty mailboxes, here I come!...

[--Reply--]
Haha, no lah, but yeah, I've seen many scripts written, even by the CHS students to do such a thing...

Er no, the projects I'm referring to are the CenTaD ones, not the school ones. But hmm, speaking of school project proposals, I've yet to submit my groups'. Oops.

An extremely counter-productive afternoon... I mean, after spending hours looking up on image processing and photocopying them (thankfully, the ozone doesn't seem to be present), and received this email, telling us that image is too much for us to handle, and suggest that we do sound instead...? Ooh perfect.

Went Yunching's house later. Hmm did absolutely nothing productive, supposed to come up with a project proposal, but ended up doing all sorts of other things, even homework (borrowed his tys haha)... it was during then we received the email. You can almost feel the tension rising as threats were thrown in against the project *ahem* Guess we're doing sound now.

Chased to bed by a rather disgruntled father, who like promised to wake me up in 6am in the morning if it's really so important.

Woke up not at 6 though, around 8. Was so worried that I'd be late, until David called me to tell me its 9.30, not 9. Phew, I breath again, and yep got there on time. Just hate living so far away from the centre, travelling is hell.

Hmm rather sceptical that we'd be able to study anyway, so actually went with the expectation to have some fun instead of study :P Turned out to be better, believe we actually managed to put in at least an hour on work. Though it can be improved :P We spent at least 3 hours there...

Though lunch was fun... Walked so much, all over the place, and finally ended up in a hawker center so big there are at least 400+ tables (our table number is 461, go figure). Explored the place with Lennon, looked through every stall, before finally settling on a stall, just because there's some kind of award certifying their food or something, and perhaps because we were really hungry then, having walked so much :) Hmm well, it's quite filling.... Then bought some peanut glutinous paste, which is quite nice too. Yep, then we left for home, after picking up our stuff from weizhen's house.

And hmm, if I really wanted to blog with complete freedom, I'd have taken the path of yc or jq. I did once have a 2nd blog, but after a while I realised that things that you can't write about publicly, it's better to forget than to record... Haha it's just more fun this way, everyone share their thoughts, broaden our minds (hmm) with other's perceptions and such. But knowing too much sometimes... I wonder if it's good.

And anyone remember this song? "Wai Po De Peng Hu Wan"
The song doesn't really make sense, but it's sort of nice, and I think I've heard it often last time before....

Going to NUS library for some CenTaD thingy now =) Seeya people...

And argh, I still haven't completed even my tutorial 1 of Physics! :(

Laughing at myself outside. Inwardly groaning.

Started preparations for Cisco Challenge Part 2 - Our score has given us an additional advantage of allowing us to prepare early without fear of being knocked out and wasting our preparations :) After all, I really want that first prize ;)

And the idea behind UnitedLinux is looking impressive. Think it's about time I oil my rusty linux skills (or whatever is left of it after 3 years), and start to learn more about it.

Topics to look up on...
Using Peltier Junction Array + Seebeck's effect - Uses?

Wee, what a night - set my alarm clock at 8pm, but ended up waking at 10pm ... Then spent the night playing some finger-game in neopets with my sis until the server went down, then felt very nostalgic and went to the page with all those old sbc/tcs tv show songs and played through them, seeing if my sis or i remember any of them - downloaded 19 of them over two days, just because I found one song that led to the rest :P

"Yi Qian Ling Yi Ye (Jiao Lian Huan)" Hmm I don't know, the song's quite nice, but I remember this song not for itself, but for the show: sad and touching.
"Hu Die Fei" The song that started it all. Hmm nice song too.
And numerous others, but these two are the more commonly played ones...

Just receieved (an hour ago?) a rather amusing message...
11.42pm - hello but gonna sleep liao gd nite!
*lol* What can I say but hello and good night? :P

And I still haven't gotten my chinese input thingy to work.

I think I found the root cause of all my problems - homework :) It seems that everytime I do it I feel funny. Hmm I like this cure - not doing any.

Though it'd be fun I guess? Mass mugging on Tuesday, I hope we don't end up talking :P

Nights, people! Those who are still up at such an unearthly hour, go sleep! :P

Oh yes, anyway I found the entry where I described how I almost tried to strangle Lennon - March 30 2002 (The 4D ppl shd know, rite?)... Hmm right, I knew I wrote that somewhere...

From newscientist feedback...
"IF YOU breathe," warns an article in the May issue of Australian Good Health News, "you breathe in billions of oxygen molecules that can cause cancer, arthritis, degenerative diseases and premature ageing." Best give it up, then.

THANKS TO Sainsbury's supermarket for telling us how to cut a cake. Here are the "cutting instructions" that come with a Sainsbury's fruit cake: "Remove all packaging and place the cake on a flat surface, such as a cake board or clean chopping board. Hold the cake firmly and use a long sharp knife to cut into slices with a sawing action. It is important to keep the knife blade clean."

FROM a chain letter received by reader Jonathan Waller: "If you break this email chain letter (it has been going since 1887) you will have bad luck with your love life for seven years."

FINALLY, when reader Stephen Archibald's son had his first birthday, he received a card with a badge attached. The badge declared: "I am 1 today!" Inside was a warning: "Not suitable for children under 36 months."

I think they are right. I do feel disorientated, things just don't feel right. Hmm, wonder why? And why did I come online just to post this one-liner? Meaningless, blah
Ok. Might as well look back into the past, and see what I used to write about/how I wrote them.

Hmm don't know, the main differences I noticed is that they are shorter :P, and yes, life is less boring then. Tone perhaps too, at least I can feel that I look differently at life then, more positively perhaps?, but now I think I've been trying to add a mask of happiness by using those smileys, excessively. Nothing just feels right if I don't add enough of them, messages, emails, blogs, whatever. I'm fake, postiche, even the usage of words condemns me.

And I wonder what have I done. Because I've never really comprehended the magnitude of error I've committed, until YC tried to explain a little to us the way he and JQ blogs, but why I was asked to find ...
[i DO have a blog :) happy finding it. nobody links to it and i link to nobody. but if u DO find it, don't let anyone know, won't u?]
... and why did he remove it just because I found it?
Perhaps I'm expected not to let him know that I found his blog?
[but if u DO find it, don't let anyone know, won't u? :)]
If it isn't so, I haven't broken your trust.
[i trust u won't, like how i won't tell melvody about urs too haha :)]
But perhaps I'm not supposed to comprehend anyway.
[Why complicate things? Live for the moment, as they always say]
So perhaps I shouldn't be keeping the fragment of his blog anymore, now that I know things aren't as simple as I thought.

Yep, and anyway I changed the font size :) Hopefully it would stop my eyes from further deteriorating by having to squint at small, swarming letters..

Out of luck today, I accidentally closed the Pitas window while trying to close another (because it's not fully maximised) and Windows suddenly just crashed on me due to some stupid Accessibility stuff which I obviously don't need. Can't they just leave us in peace and not pop up like everytime I hold down my shift key for too long??

I still don't comprehend Gravitation. I've already dedicated my past few weeks' in the toilet to my physics textbook, on that particular chapter, and I still feel uncertain about the topic. I just can't get the feeling, the feeling of being able at least start on a question if given. Perhaps I need to have more practice, which reminds me, I've got to empty my locker of all the TYSes. And there shouldn't be anything wrong with bringing your books to the toilet... my physics textbook/or any other book I happen to want to read has been accompanying me for the past few months, hmm yeah at least we can make full use of the time hmm.

Just found out the title of a song I've really liked but long dropped out of my memory. Was in download frenzy, as I found a page while looking for the lyrics of that song, that listed quite a few of the songs that I happened to be looking for.

Then there's this Cisco Challenge. Our suspicions that the test format will be the same were confirmed, which means that the test is similar to the one we took 2 years ago, so the format will be the same (perhaps even the questions, we don't know, because we've forgotten). Rather breezed through the entire paper, only unsure about two questions:
How many pins are there for each connector in a patch panel? (4, 8, 11 or 45) We chose 8
Where are the cables labelled? (At each tie, At each end, At the patch panel, At the RJ-45 jack) We chose "At each end" (note: I checked, hmm guess I'm correct ... :P so it shd be the other one tt's wrong...")
We fell short of our target, and got 99. So I suppose one of the above questions were answered wrongly.

Supposed to go to Yunching's house after that, but since he's still rushing back from the Pre-U Seminar (Do ask him about how he managed to get off early), Lennon went home to change, and I went to KAP to do some homework, after about 2 weeks of complete isolation from homework. Listed out what I've to do for this week, and it filled a page of foolscap, and I didn't use just every line, I almost filled up the entire page. Whee. Did only 4 questions on thermometry, before Lennon came and we talked about other things, and left for Yunching's house after that. Supposed to discuss about CenTaD, but ended up straying into other topics, on life, the (enigmatic) people in the class, the class, 'gender' shock (yet another termed coined by us :)), and just anything that can be talked about. Yunching was talking about how people in the class are so connected to technology and computers and affected by them, when I pointed my palm (yes, my hand) at the curtain and attempted to 'force pull' it close, happened so suddenly that I didn't even notice what I've done (it seemed so routine). Darn the games :P I wonder what happened to me, they told me I looked 'lost' recently, aimless wanderer, sensitivity flaying out wildly in all directions. Though I didn't really understand what they really mean hmm. I thought that it has already been long over, but guess like what they said, it has really changed me a lot, even though I may not care about it anymore. I hope it's for the better. Went home wondering about it all, how two person can have different perceptions on the same pair of eyes ("because it's induced?" - YC), why I don't see things like how others do (shallow perceptions, skimming the surface, looking deep but never understanding), and everything else. It's been a long time since so. Dropped off at the CHS busstop for transfer, because I suddenly realised I missed the night scene. Used to go home at 10.30pm, after the programming training, and I'd always be at this bus stop (where else? :P) waiting. It's special because there's no one around, but cars and dust, its special because it's mainly so quiet, with only an occassional passerby and car, and its special... because it was my school?
And I always thought I don't really feel for my school, because I had so few memories, having wasted, IMHO, almost all my 4 years of life there.
But now I guess it's because I forget them too fast.
Along the same line, perhaps I do care. Just that ...
I don't want to?
I hope so.
And yes, I wish I could be out at night, in some nice, flat place, with the stars above me and grass under. Preferably alone. Quiet. Just a while...

Ooh, its the dawning of a new month! And what a start, awakened by the monotonic strains of the alarm clock, before the abrupt ending of the grating sound with the swift gullotine motion of my hand onto it, after which I snuggled back into bed again.

Yep, I guess we've all changed, with the exposure to this new environment. I once feared the passing of time, for I'm unsure of what's going to happen in the future, and feared the day when we'd all part. Guess now it's sort of different for me, although I still don't look forward to the future, I no longer view the passing of time with trepidation. Made mistakes too, like chewing off more than what I can swallow/bite, (I never knew which was correct) by taking on more activities than I can handle with ease, and of course other mistakes too, where one can learn and understand how not to repeat it again. Hmm JC has also became a time where I think a lot more, //Ooh there goes the bell for the new month!// and it's a good process to undertake, gives you a lot of chance to act heavyhearted (when you're not) understand more, and break through existing stuck perceptions/neuroconnections, and open ups my brain to others.

On another side, the distinct difference between the two warring factions of my brain, my alter egos, each of the embodiments of Evil and Morals, seem to be less seperated now somehow. It was really scary in the past, because either side can suddenly try to seize control of the flagship Junyi and make him do really extreme/scary things, like what I did to Lennon the year before huh :P (Think I did post an entry somewhere in the past about this, go find it :P) Hmm yeah now I think I've managed to subdue more of the Evil side, but seemingly at a cost to the Moral side - I'm no longer extreme, but I've lost some of the usual voices in my head that warn me off from doing incorrect things. Or maybe it's just my perception, I'm sure if I ask a particular person in our class he'd tell me "Ha! You, less evil?". Bleah :P

Anyway, without the past, there'd be nothing to look forward too in the future - Without a memory of the past, the future will be meaningless. I've ended yet another chapter in the book of my life, but just like any other books, you can't understand it completely without starting from chapter One, so why not take a peek into my past chapters of life. (Yep, yet another meaningless link descriptor - I've got the knack for coming up with crap now, though not a lot)

And to you all too, hope your new month will be more fun-filled, enriching and rewarding :)