Chasing time on Saturday, July 29, 2006...
Yup that's that, but I'm intrigued by my subconscious concept of "memory". Reading the event summary log that I produced after the event, there just seems to be an overriding theme of numbers; place, points, position, price: as if i was hoping that the knowledge of such will help reconstruct this particular past, from remnants of the random accessible memory chunks.
how much would this matter when im seventy?
...panting, staring bleakly ahead at the dust trail, and gave up at 11:59 p.m.
Chasing time on Friday, July 28, 2006...
At $37.30, it's gotta rank as one of most expensive dessert I ever had, but at least in mitigation might I say I treated it as dinner :) Ambience was wonderful, wonderful company, and got surprisingly VERY full despite the somewhat disappointing initial appraisal: it only filled a table haha. And I only tried like half of every kind! Valrhona chocolate in the fountain is really wonderful; the cocoa scent permeates the air and hits even before you taste, the liquid chocolate in your mouth coats and delivers the taste thoroughly, somewhat similar to letting chocolate melt in your mouth, but without the waiting :)
...panting, staring bleakly ahead at the dust trail, and gave up at 11:59 p.m.
Chasing time on Thursday, July 27, 2006...
Met up with the primary sch classmates to give YS a surprise under her block; photo takings and cake cuttings and general catching up, but had to leave early to join the DSTA people for the night cycling :) Dropped off at Dhoby Ghaut initially, went to Minds Cafe to settle the booking for saturday, met 00s60 but only recognised two haha. Headed towards Bedok, where we then had dinner (had mine already earlier on), then moved to ECP to rent the bikes for the night expedition. Headed to a Changi hawker center, 1+ exhausting hours later haha and had nasi lemak, then moved elsewhere for prata. Photoed outside TPJC, outside Expo, and we headed towards the city, indoor stadium, across the Sheares bridge, old City Hall, etc. Biked back to ECP then, where we had cool down, cards, and breakfast :)
...panting, staring bleakly ahead at the dust trail, and gave up at 11:59 p.m.
Chasing time on Wednesday, July 26, 2006...
Caught Pirates of the Carribean: Deads Man Chest in the afternoon, and 4:00 at night. PotC turned out pretty entertaining, and 4:00 turned out excessively draggy; it's voyeuristic but I suppose I'll find it more interesting if it was less blatant in the face and more of the subtle touches that bring out what the director wants to portray.
...panting, staring bleakly ahead at the dust trail, and gave up at 11:59 p.m.
Chasing time on Tuesday, July 25, 2006...
There was a placement test for a certain module, and it was supposed to be at 2pm. Boarded the train at 1pm, only to be caught in a horrible jam bleargh, apparently the electrical system at around Chinatown had a problem, being dislodged or something, and the whole system was not only delayed and even terminated at Dhoby Ghaut. Got off at Little India, on a taxi and ~$8 bucks later at NUs. Pft. Luckily, I'm just on time and the taxi even managed to send me directly to the LT doorsteps :)
...panting, staring bleakly ahead at the dust trail, and gave up at 11:59 p.m.
Chasing time on Monday, July 24, 2006...
At Manhatten Fish market, as it was fully sponsored (a certain amount per person), we just whacked for once haha without even considering the price heh. Found out more about the NUS system, about the working environment, on the opportunities.
...panting, staring bleakly ahead at the dust trail, and gave up at 11:59 p.m.
Chasing time on Sunday, July 23, 2006...
Arrived rather late, pissed off bird majorly making him have to wait like nearly an hour. Dinnered and laughed our heads off somehow, lanned until 2pm, then washed up shown around the house before going off for CO rehearsal. Phone ran out of battery, but somehow I thought it died, mainly because of the symptoms, and also because when I plugged it into Mel's charger it didn't light up. Only realised that it's spoilt after I complained to him online hah.
...panting, staring bleakly ahead at the dust trail, and gave up at 11:59 p.m.
Chasing time on Sunday, July 16, 2006...
(No quality control. Posted wrong link without knowing >< Link updated!)
Finally FINISHED sorting through the four hundred plus photos, and I'm glad to announce that 390+ of them has graduated and shall be serving parade showcase duty HERE . Enjoy :D I'll get to the sorting code later.
Late. Tired. Shall be random, might be seeded in future. Noise is the music of consciousness. Far flung goal? Got in USP for good or for bad >_<; the mail came so late! Superman (Wednesday, Jo), first digital movie experience, WOAH DARN SHARP! When the camera closes onto a computer screen each pixel shows clearly! Shall have a Click here to read more coded in soon; suddenly noticed this solution, it has been in use everywhere! >_< Coding is problem solving; it really imbues in you a desire to solve problems whenever they crop up, real life or not. So does procrastination, unfortunately. Horribly late and CO practices tomorrow so best be off, nights :)
...panting, staring bleakly ahead at the dust trail, and gave up at 11:59 p.m.
Chasing time on Tuesday, July 11, 2006...
This is about it :p Went, interviewed by this particularly sharp interviewer who caught all my speech fillers (ums, yeah, ah, and those things that come to your mind that you come to regret after you said it? yeah) especially when I said stuff that didn't make sense. Well, at least I'm in.
...panting, staring bleakly ahead at the dust trail, and gave up at 11:59 p.m.
Chasing time on Saturday, July 8, 2006...
HIGH! A cumulation of more than a week's worth of rehearsals and practices, ending it all with the award ceremony and a wonderful performance put up by the three different groups - working together, weaving strains of music delight, and of course, of meals, desserts, photos and world cup - ahh, the feeling of it ending is of blissful relief, with a big helping of regret and a dash of reminiscence, that it is all over already.
Often the ones that we work hardest with, sow the deepest seeds of memory? :)
Flopped at the most unlikely place - one where I had never any trouble with! But it's all over, and luckily my pianist was marvellous, covered up all the holes I left :/ In my defense, the song was way beyond me - Butterfly Lovers, Liang Zhu :D But guess the piano makes it easier to appreciate, lots of people liked it hoho.
With the electric and accoustic guitars, we played the Godfather Theme :) Erhu's effect is I guess, more of, OMG LOOKY THAT LOLX! Which we exploited to full extent by cutting in a short 2 bar erhu solo immediately after the electric introduction :p Enjoyed playing this immensely haha and just moved and grooved along with it :)
Like prom night all over again, with endless flashings and photo takings! Even met two of the j1 awardees from my great-great-grand junior orientation class!
The feeling's still wonderful, much like Orientation Campfire haha, where we all only know each other a little, and did so much together - can't possibly know enough of others to be sick of anyone LOL, and still have endless topics to chatter about still - magic is perceived when the mind can't begin to comprehend it all, and without comprehending the social game is easier to grasp - return to innocence :) Ah, the tingle in the air.
Memory for names still horrible, unfortunately. But yes, I shall learn to look into the faces more when I talk to people - I'm apparently quite face shy. I've been walking around looking at people's faces, trying to let the mind build up its ability to perceive features as well - useful activity to be done during army's cookhouse duties. Will also need to learn to use people's names in conversations - people like to hear their name, it'd help ease the talking into smoother waters, and besides repetition followed by contextual linking from the conversation builds up the neural pathways essential for memory :) Any other suggestions?
All in all, a thoroughly enjoyable evening! :)
...panting, staring bleakly ahead at the dust trail, and gave up at 11:59 p.m.
Chasing time on Thursday, July 6, 2006...
I find the process of teaching and learning fascinating. Such a slow link via voice, with a extremely noisy codec, or if you prefer it, a codec that requires foreknowledge that the receipient often does not have, and consequently perceived as noise. But let's leave these technicalities aside...
Of course, other than the reason of practicing teaching a kid in preparation, on someone else's kid haha, tutoring is a fascinating process, isn't it? Especially when machine learning is currently the vogue, and certainly one of my strong interests. To start with no context, and to build it up through environmental interaction, either random or selectively chosen to maximise effectiveness. The receiver will have to randomly permutate possibilites; noise in, noise out; then slowly refine the order in the chaos of the noise through feedback that is flawed at times. The basic order layered, a common ground for consensual context, only can the exponential context on context growth begin, the tower of knowledge growing from ground up. The foundation bricks are so important!
Obtained Rosetta Stone mainly because I may want to learn a new language; tried to put it to use on the kid, and it's interesting to see where they get stuck and what attitudes are they showing. To pry apart the bricks that you know are misshapen, and to cement in gradually a new brick. Like poor writing habits, easily distracted mind, lack of patience and jumping the gun. Things that because of unguided bricklaying, turn into a increasingly growing issue, or regret when the mind realises it. I disapprove some of the ways the teachers dealt with me when I was young; I do believe that the most effective teaching and punishment will emerge from the understanding that no one is ultimately responsible for being who he turns out to be.
Oh yes, distractions aside, the Rosetta Stone turned out to be a source of great amusement for my family. There is a meter (red/yellow/green) that shows how accurate your pronunciation is compared to the native speaker, and as we all took turns to try to pronounce the word accurately it led to endless guffaws as we noticed how blocky our speech is, and the occasional successful pronunciation only encouraged more attempts by everyone, to much laughter :)
...panting, staring bleakly ahead at the dust trail, and gave up at 11:59 p.m.
Chasing time on Wednesday, July 5, 2006...
Somewhere along the line, I remembered the need to blog.
Perhaps it's just the article on the paper, about a person with 18 years of diary backlogs. Paper's more intimate, more personal? I find 18 years of stories something... I'll want, of maturing and changing viewpoints - trace the growing cynicism and age-embittered prose, follow the stories of ups and downs made delicious just because they are yours; relive the experiences that were great while they lasted, hurriedly skip with that inward awkward grin when they are not. A personal time machine, for reminiscence, for the memories once cherished enough to be written, now forgotten.
Somewhat, I feel like an experience leecher sometimes. One with too little of his own worth having, or one who forgets to immerse himself into novel situations and collect intriguing nuggets for distribution, and laps in stories, worries, and queries of others, so as to either propagate them elsewhere to others, or to imagine the experience personally. A parallel importer of interesting conversation topics, a wholesaler of stories other people being there and doing that; it leaves behind after every earful a tinge of sadness, after every mouthful a touch of regret, of one's seeming lack.
Somehow, I believe, only when one knows he has completely no free will, is he truly free. It is both empowering and self-defeating; it is both and it is neither. And of course, not to mention, completely useless and unhelpful. But it can also comforting at downpoints, and it can also be used to spur you on in times of need.
Of morbid regrets due to aging, probably of not being ever able to love as a teenager again - the idealised love epitomised in endless teenage romance novels, that transcends all barriers except the one that leads to your brain, of finding the One and only one, of the budding sexuality subconsciously masquerading as a pure, unknown and innocent force. Not that love is lost, just that it's different, probably - the masquerade is now conscious, much like a game of chess; the measuring scales are in full view now, every move on the checkered board checked and balanced by knowing players. It all ends with a checkmate: you get the more experienced one choosing how to manoeuvre the pieces to create a resultant protracted draw, or otherwise if the preference is for a quick end to the match.
To never have to learn to play chess well, then find someone of similar skill to draw with naturally. Might it the right way?
...panting, staring bleakly ahead at the dust trail, and gave up at 11:59 p.m.
Chasing time on Sunday, July 2, 2006...
Had our first Hsinghai rehearsal in the morning, where we tried to practise on our own first to catch up but were dragged helplessly into the fray after a few moments. Hung around trying to catch the beats and the notes, and make as little noise as possible. Then rushed of to Katong area, TK's place where we then had our 2nd mini rehearsal and timed how things went. Then hopped onto Terence's vehicle where he dropped me off at Bugis, where I then proceeded to link up with the TCHSCO people for the dinner; CY then sent us home haha.
...panting, staring bleakly ahead at the dust trail, and gave up at 11:59 p.m.
Chasing time on Sunday, July 2, 2006...
Half the year has gone, tiptoed by quietly as I lazed bleary-eyed, half of half a'sleeping.
Rollercoasters. They commit you to dangerously insane things you'll never do, yet bring you back safely.
Much wanted to write, some written and stowed, waiting for the right order of release. Despite my apparent mess I've a strange penchant for order when in public eye. Impressions count, unfortunately, wayang acts carried out by the Ego Protection Team. But I defend myself, saying actions carry cost, and I minimise cost when no potential marginal negative impression can be formed :) Hence, the mess at home. I think I'm a stickler for neatness in bunk, it has always been a show I put up in army.
In the new year, I commit myself to acts of maximising cost potential in ways I want to improve on, otherwise written more simply as going the path of greatest resistance towards a goal. Cost potential, it is hoped, that when sufficiently high, will cause inevitable build-up to levels that'll necessitate natural forces of equilibrium to kick me off comfort zones and impel me to learn.
Rollercoasting. It's just like the mechanical thrill seekers, except we lay the path ourselves, and more often than not, seek the easy way out. Tie me to a bungee cord, let me climb, or may you wrench me to infinity; and I take comfort that the difficulty is not about coming down.
Impetus. The problem is going up. To leave comfort zones. To seek new grounds. To force the lazy brain to adopt moves that do not involve minimising thinking cost.
That is the goal.
And of course this is out of place, but I suppose I'll have to post it first, and rearrange it subsequently next time :)
...panting, staring bleakly ahead at the dust trail, and gave up at 11:59 p.m.
Chasing time on Saturday, July 1, 2006...
Organised by YC, we had a mini BBQ in every sense, food wise and attendance wise; the smallest one I've ever been too haha. But it was fun, spent most of the time in front of the fire; met up with Amy as well after not seeing her for years. Played some games to kill off the food at the end, videos too!, endless catching ups and stuff; YC then sent some of us off to more suitable places to head home.
...panting, staring bleakly ahead at the dust trail, and gave up at 11:59 p.m.
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