ivorykeys

Monday, May 15, 2006
aha. when i woke today, my mum told me that moe had rejected my scholarship application! haha. i wasn't sure whether to be happy or sad.. but maybe God has better plans for me than being bonded down by 6years teaching. :) My God is bigger than me and the world so, I'm banking on Him alr.. if He can't do it, how can i? that's for my audition this coming friday! I'm going to have a good time in KL.

09:52 a.m.

Friday, May 5, 2006
tmr night there'll be a hc band concert! i'm playing for the alumni, it's qt a big group, like, at least 6 batches? we have 4 trombonists.. haha too bad yinhow can't play, he's in malaysia. and seeing all the pple again is really great, esp the juniors, and some of the seniors like gordon, hewhui, jiaxin, etc.. and there's this great trombonist from 98 batch, ji jun.. really really gd.

the only thing right now i'm a bit 'sad' in a sense abt is that i have to report at vch at 5! i'm playing for dare tmr.. and it's cg tmr too.. n i haven't been spending time fellowshipping with my cg mates for a really really long time.. deborah the most, but not so often these days too.. like when we hang out after cg. and the sat band pple too... haha i miss all of them! so, oh well. tmr i'll do what i have to do, and i guess once i feel i shud go rush off then i'll go haha. i think their rehearsal at vch is at 530.. or smthg, so hopefully i will reach there at a gd time.

that aside, oh i was really blessed by last cg's msg.. smthg that stood out for me was what we put our trust in... on the rock or on the sand? like the parable Jesus spoke of how when the storm came, the house built on the rock was firm, but the one on sand was totally destroyed. and what we put our joy in.. cos u noe smtimes u just sink into bouts where ur joy is sapped. so like why was paul rejoicing even tho he was in prison? it was cos he rejoiced that Jesus had come to die for us.. and all those wonderful truths that u know will nv ever ever change, that's something we can rejoice in all the time. that was really great for me.. cos that night i kinda rushed home after cg as there was a gathering, my parents' cg was there. they'd wanted me to play for praise and worship.. and ended up that there was none, and well, the kyboard couldn't be heard cos their talking voices were so loud! at the end of it i wasn't in a gd mood.. and yea.. only afterwards when i thought back of what jiahao had said.. then i could really see that yes, thru it all i still have that capacity to really rejoice bcos of Jesus.. then after that my mood just lifted :)

today too. i was really lethargic and i think .. qt tired after a few days of working and being out from early morning to late at night.. the accumulation of it i guess. so i couldn't seem to smile haha. everytime i looked into the mirror this morning, this deadish looking face would stare at me... it's like, an amplified version of my mood.. a blah mood. and also kinda shouted at my brother for a silly reason.. so later i went for music lesson. all the way there.. when i was up the escalator abt to step into ps, i just told God, u noe.. i'd better stop this! haha. i don't wanna be like that.. i've got Your life flowing thru me.. and You've come to give me life and life more abundantly! i think that 5min of prayer towards yamaha n waiting for the earlier lesson to end made so much difference. i wasn't 100percent alright when i stepped into the classroom.. but i'd committed it into His hands, that this lesson, whatever it would be like, when i came out i'd have my life renewed and restored. hmm i kinda gave God an hour haha. and true enough, lesson wasn't all playing.. i only played like 20min and talked to mrs hong the rest of the time! but at the end of it i came out really refreshed. alive. haha our God is such a faithful Father, and such a present help, He's with me every minute, every second. :)

11:45 p.m.

Thursday, April 27, 2006
when the song magnificent (hillsong) comes into my mind, i'm happy, as that's a beautiful song, with beautiful words and music to it. and then suddenly i rmb the rehearsal where we played that song afterwards for fun.. it was the first time at the new place and with a new kyboard. couldn't find a gd sound and kept changing sounds.. what's more, i couldn't hear it! so i turned up the volume qt a bit. after that rehearsal, i kept thinking.. oops i spoilt the music, made so much distraction and everything, and even the intro to that song, changing the sound halfway? haha. but seriously that comes to my mind, and it goes uh oh...

today this brought my mind to what pastor preached before, abt peter. peter denied knowing Christ 3 times as Jesus was taken up before pilate.. towards the crucifixion. at the moment of his third denial, a rooster began to crow. later on at the end of the chapter, when Jesus had come back and gave them fish, He asked Simon Peter 3 times, do you truly love me?

the first time peter denied, it says in john 18:18, it was cold and the servants and officials stood around a fire they had made to keep warm. peter was also standing with them, warming himself. The first time Jesus asked peter do u love me? it was after they had finished eating the fish Jesus had prepared for them. Jesus had prepared a fire of burning coals with fish on it, and some bread, for them that early morning. it was warm too.
a 2nd part to rmb would be the fumes from the burning coals.. each time he smells it, he rmbs his denial. When Jesus came and asked him.. imagine, peter could smell those burning coals He'd prepared.
the 3rd time peter denied, a rooster began to crow. and the 3rd time Jesus asked him if he loved Him, pastor mentioned.. can u imagine, that a rooster crowed at that time too? after all, it was early in the morning.. it was just a beautiful picture.
that Jesus knew how guilty Peter felt abt denying Him three times before, and he cleared every single time.. never again when peter feels the warmth of a fire, smells the fumes from burning coal, and hears the rooster crow, will he rmb that he denied Christ, but that he told Jesus three times, You know i love You. aha this is so beautiful : ) Jesus came to make sure that peter would no longer feel guilt or condemnation over that!

09:52 a.m.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006
after a long hiatus haha. i'm at work now actually! but it's such a special day. suddenly many many pple are a lot nicer, compared to the previous 3 weeks.. and it's at one go! there's chloe, jeffrey, and this one more person i dunno.. the past weeks they seemed a bit stressed or smthg, very hasty, nv a smile on the face, and not very polite too either actually. today however. i find their voices softer (in the gentler sense), more smiley, saying thanks and everything and laughing and all. it's weird cos it's all at one go! and it's not like i dressed up, or am in a particularly excellent mood except for the first two hours of work haha, which i screwed up a bit of stuff by letting other pple use originally booked meeting rooms. but yea.. i guess there's only one reason then, it's God! and his glory in me, and his favour on me hahaha. wow. and not only the three of them but others too :) perhaps this is the overflow of favour from last night's caregroup, a lot of sharing, a really strong sweet presence there. :)

i've also got into the 2nd round of smu scholarship interviews.. which is weird cos i don't think i said anything special that first interview, on the contrary.. it was a rather boring speech i think haha. but yet.. it's God's glory in me and His favour on me again. haha hallelujah man.. but i'm not sure, it's next tues. i'm not even sure i wanna go to smu at all, what more a scholarship, am wondering if i should give up my space to a more deserving person.

hmm what else. oh yes. i exchanged weddings with li en for saturday! and the cool thing? one of the songs in janet's song list, 'in your hands', is the same song which has been in my head the past week! talk abt divine coincidence, i think i'm meant to play in that wedding haha.

okay that's the praise reports i can think of now.. better go back to work!

03:29 p.m.

Thursday, March 30, 2006
The Eagles' Story
It is fascinating how the eagles are really typologies of Christ. When the eagle is really young, its' mother feeds it by killing animals first then giving it to their young. However after a while, and when MUM thinks it's a suitable time, instead of giving BABY eagle a dead animal, it gives him a live one! and so now here's a new thing.. BABY has to learn by itself how to kill it tho it doesn't really know how to. so it stomps and crushes it with its little legs. soon, MUMMY brings along bigger prey. and in order to kill it, BABY eagle has to stomp. jump and stomp. jump and jump and stomp. in doing so, it jumps and its wings spread out more and more. flight exercise is beginning.
and soon.. the more well-known part comes, where BABY eagle first flaps off a high cliff.. but eventually he learns to go with the wind and glide and soar.

Dan was sharing this as we had our usual after-thurs-prac indian supper. it's kind of how when we first start out.. there's so much we don't know, but you have to take a leap of faith, and take the first step to do it. when baby eagle was killing it's big prey, it wasn't concentrating on flight, but in the process, his wings spread, and it caught more and more air.. and it developed. but his eyes weren't on the flying.. they were on the food. and our food is Christ and His word.. on receiving the Word. the 'flight' would refer to our goals.. in the music side, that'd be our playing skills, fitting in, and everything we need to know. and eventually we learn to flow with the Spirit.. and instead of flapping frantically, we follow the wind and we soar.

it's qt sad in a way that we three are gonna have much fewer times playing together, with the new roster. i'll be playing with ernie and isaac too, and also with lynn. i guess it would help, in finding out more of other pple's tastes and styles and learning how to blend with them. but these two pple belle and angz r really awesome, trustable pple that well, i feel i can turn to if i need help in more areas than one.
however.... annabelle does get bored when the conversation over supper turns towards music haha. i think.

stayed over at mich's place with boo last night. watched return to neverland!! peter pan is sooo cute. extremely handsome and boyish and pretty and ... the girl playing wendy is a lucky girl! and the story is so magical, it really transformed it back to a fairy tale. and i love the language.. it's the more traditional type of Englishman's English.

its' really more impt to be filled first.. above all things. like i know of those like pastor darren's wife who considers it her primary job to be filled with the Word at the start of the day, rather than her work. somehow i'm not totally disciplined in doing that.. sometimes i'm lazy and i read my bible only b4 going to bed, and at times i just like forget what i read haha. i guess as jiahao said, it's when u're free.. like me now.. that it kinda tests u to see if u use ur spare time to spend with Jesus. like when i was in jc, with a more busy schedule, i really used all my spare time to listen to sermons, to read books on the Word etc... now i still do that, but less since there's less travelling time and i'm not the kind who puts on a cd on the cd player at home. bcos it's hearing and feeding on these things that u receive fresh revelations.. new substance that u nv knew before also. i dunno, i feel that i spend more time just walking and praying i guess, cos now my mp3 player can't work, so not much sermon-listening now. i do believe that prayer is gd. it's the receiving part.. i kinda feel i really could receive a lot more. as i've experienced that before like last yr. but this is my season now. ah. my time..
tho i shudn't feel condemned either cos Jesus has paid the price on the cross for me. my receiving is based on His grace and mercy and not by my efforts.. and God still does so many things for me.. from the littlest to the largest detail.
just today, it was raining cats and dogs! so i asked God, could you pls lighten to rain so that i can walk out? (i was going to cab to sngs to fetch my sis home.) and after a min or two, it lightened considerably. i stuck my head out and felt the strong wind blowing.. so i asked God again, could You pls make the wind really really less strong? so it's easy for me to walk down.. and really, within abt 2min, the wind wasn't the fierce billowing type animmore.. and i easily walked down the path to the bus stop area without getting wet! only by stepping into puddles.
after that, i wanted to hail a cab easily, so i asked God to give me a gd cab and asap.. and then cabs passed.. most were hired.. but there were like 2 or 3 that weren't and they didn't stop for me!! and some did stop but didn't go in my direction! so it was really not asap.. yet God always has the best solution. i decided that perhaps my position wasn't gd.. so i walked down.. and oh, more cabs pass by.
FINALLY. this beautiful white taxi came by and said okay he can fetch me there! as long as it was b4 545, when he had to be at lorong chuan to pick up someone. and the driver spoke english and listened to a really great radio channel =) plus, when i picked kim up, then he drove us back to potong pasir there, cos it's near his pickup area! so it saved cost, and it was really comfortable and not smelly at all. God really has the best plans for us.. in this small picture i can see clearly that u noe, if we just wait and not try to hurry God, we'll certainly receive His best. now it's slightly harder to apply it to the bigger picture, the more important things. cos it's the more impt things that pple need more faith to entrust it in. i'm supposedly getting by berklee appli results tmr! so.. thank u Lord for ur abundant favor on me. Please give me ur peace of mind and let me rest in the knowledge that you will take care of me no matter what.. u noe what i need and i desire from the bottom of my heart. and you who feed the birds and clothe the lilies of the valley, how much more will u give to me? when u didn't withold ur only beloved son so that i might live. i serve a good God.

11:30 p.m.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

The Classic Lover
45% partner focus, 33% aggressiveness, 25% adventurousness

Based on the results of this test, it is highly likely that:

You prefer your romance and love to be traditional rather than daring or out-of-the-ordinary, you would rather be pursued than do the pursuing and, when it comes to physical love, you concentrate more on enjoying the experience rather than worrying about your performance.

This places you in the Lover Style of: The Classic Lover.

The Classic Lover is a wonderful Lover Style, and is the closest it comes to the classic images of the princess in the tower, or the romantic and chivalrous knight, or the hero/heroine from a Disney film. The Classic Lover is a treasure to find, though it can be difficult to do so because they sometimes tend to be shy and/or difficult to successfully court.

In terms of physical love, the Classic Lover again can be shy, and often needs more in terms of emotional security to feel comfortable than some of the other Types. Given the right setting, and the right lover, the Classic Lover can be a delight in bed.

Best Compatibility can probably be found with: The Romantic Lover (most of all) or the Devoted Lover, or the Liberated Lover.

01:19 p.m.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

The Bleeding Heart
You show 70% mercy!

Warm. Sensitive. You are the "Bleeding Heart," and you deserve congratulations. When mercy is needed, you'll be there. You probably answered yes to that question about being the first to notice when someone's upset -- and you pride yourself on that. Don't get too proud, though; often your kind is rejected by others for being "not quite fun enough." The problem of course is that most good humor isn't very nice -- this is something you realize and struggle with.

Of the 5 categories of mercy, you are in the 2nd highest. Well done!

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 73% on mercy
Link: The Mercy Test written by chriscoyne on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test