PERSONALITY
Name: Joanna
Nickname: Ishiko
Age: 17
Blood Type: B+
Birth: 11 October, 1983
State: NH
Fav. Food: Raspberry Danish
Disliked
Food: Raw Carrots
Music: Pierrot, Lareine, Dir en Grey, Kagrra, Gackt
Art: Oil painting, inks, pencil
Fear: To die alone and depressed
Bad Habbits: Biting my nails, mood swings
Books: "The Stranger", "Lord of the
Flies",
"Les Miserables"
Manga/Anime: Alichino, Yami no Matsuei
Movie: Grave of the Fireflies
Other Pages: Visit my friend, Yuki's page
and comission her to make you a beautiful
cosplay outfit.
Or visit Neo-Nemesis, our art
page
(maintained by Yuki) to see our fan/original
art) Yuki and i have also started (several times over
the course of about 6 years) a manga-style
comic called EPICA. The page isn't up yet. Who
knows when that will happen. But maybe if you are
lucky you'll get to see it some time....
Keeper of Tsuzuki's
Puppy Imitation
(The Yami no Matsuei Keepers List)
Be nice to the pretty boys.... NOTE: Gackt ISHIKO'S
GREATEST HITS ARCHIVES nothing...i haven't
written enough yet BLOGS Asphodel: an ill-natured beauty
(yuki's blog) 
Ryouko (Alichino)
Currently my new obsession - (08-09-01)
(what i'm listening to right now)
Gackt - Uncertain Memory (instrumental) (08-25-01)
Dir en Grey - ZAN (08-23-01)
Pierrot - Key Word (08-19-01)
Malice Mizer - Beast of Blood (08-17-01)
Madeth Gray'll - Entith de Marge (08-16-01)
Hayashibara Megumi - Matsuri Uta (08-16-01)
Malice Mizer - Gardenia (08-15-01)
Gackt - Dears (LIVE) (08-14-01)
LAREINE - Pinku no Kasa (08-12-01)
X Japan - Forever Love (08-11-01)
Gackt - Mizerable (08-10-01)
LAREINE - Pink no Kasa (08-08-01)
Pierrot - GENOME CONTROL (08-07-01)
Kagrra - Nue no Naku Goro (08-06-01)
Vizell - Portrait (08-05-01)
Dir en Grey -
KRCube(08-04-01)
Got milk?
inertia's blog
Love, Death... Avoid It
'Squawk' says the blackbird
 |
Sunday, August 26, 2001
11:57 p.m.
It just another one of those days. I seem have been having several miserable days in the past few weeks. Nothing has been going right. (i can't even type right, i keep making spelling mistakes and pushing all the wrong keys) Saturday, August 25, 2001 02:47 p.m.
Just came back from work...the time just seemed to fly by. It was so unbelievably crowed. People were lined from the register to the milk cases since 8:15 this mrning. All becuase today our town has a big fireworks celebration. People from all over come to see it. I don't know why though...it's really not that great. (not for the 25$ a car. you have to get to the airport around 5:00pm and wait till 8:30pm for the 20 minute display. afterwhich it takes 4-5 hours to get out of the parking lot. not my idea of fun) But besides the BBQ crowd, there are all those rabid powerball lotto players. Now since the jcakpot is up around 300 million....some people just go alittle too crazy over that stuff. (Like buying that 20th ticket will help your chances to win anymore) Friday, August 24, 2001 09:21 p.m.
Beth emailed me today and this is what she had to say: "i think i overdosed on lareine!!!!! all that i have been thinking about and
looking for on the internet lately is dir en grey (with a lage emphosis on
kyo). after looking for pics of them for 4 hours yesterday i walked into my
room and saw the lareine poster i made and for some reason i felt really
bad. right now i find kyo more attractive than emiru, i don't know why,
maybe it is because kyo didn't DROP OFF THE FACE OF THE
EARTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well, see ya tomorrow night, i have to go finish the
DeG poster i am making.
ja ne
emiru" Thursday, August 23, 2001 08:17 p.m.
And it is done...After many hours of complete frustration and agony i have fianlly sketched up the first characters to arrive on the EPICA scene. (along with 2 extras who will not make an appearence yet) So for now i am semi-pleased with the outcome. I doubt if i will ever be completely satisfied with my drawings. But for now it will do. Next comes the test of time. Will they last for till saturday when Yuki gets to see them. Who can say? I think that i may just start putting Act I together so that once that is done i will have no choice but to keep the characters the way they are now. Wednesday, August 22, 2001 09:37 p.m.
AH! That's it! I give up...i can't draw anymore. I'm so
*&%$@%# pissed. Everything looks like shit. I was in such a good drawing mood ahalf hour ago. But it was ruined by the crap on tv that my mom put on. Damn,i hate having to listen to beauty and the beast. I should really break that tape! My mom likes the music so she has to watch it even thought the tape is shot and the tracking is terrible. ............i'm just getting so mad! I can't concentrate anymore.(not even in my room)*scream!!!!!! I'm just going to punch the wall and yell until i can't anymore after that i'm just going to sit here and sulk!* Wednesday, August 22, 2001 08:41 p.m.
Been thinking that i should start to draw (again). It's hard since i haven't been in the mood. I couldn't find anything that would put me in the mood. But i feel like drawing now. I'm trying to define the characters (from EPICA) and give them their own personalities....it's difficult though, especially since i usually hate everything that i draw. The characters are starting to get less and less comic-like and now have a more serious look to them. (which i do like better) If i didn't start drawing soon Yuki-chan would kill me...so no time better than the present, ne? I'm going to try and get as much dione tonight as possible so that when saturday rolls around Yuki can review the pics and give me her imput, eventually scaning them in. I really am hoping that they all come out right. Sunday, August 19, 2001 08:53 p.m.
I've decided to address a completely different topic tonight. My brother, he is driving me insane. (not that i wasn't already headed towards inasanity....) Don't get me wrong he is a very competent person and could do almost anything if need be. The problem is that he won't. The house was nice and quiet while he was away at college. Now, well, he's worn out his welcome. Atleast in my opinion. He stays up all night and sleeps almost all day long. He seems to only get up long enough to yell at me for being online. Because he can't get phone calls when i'm online, but it seems to me that he also can't take phone calls while he's asleep. And that is most of the time. He hasn't even gotten a job while he's been home. He went to one place and hasn't heard back from them yet. But my mom won't do anything about it. She tells me that i should be nicer to him, he is my brother afterall. I don't see why. She should really give him an ultamatum: "get a job, your 21 you can take care of yourself" but she dosedn't. He had so many plans for things that he was going to do over the summer, like start his own business...but now he's too lazy to do it. (as far as i know it's going nowhere. he locks his door now so no one can bother him) agh. it bothers me so much. And besides sleeping all the time he smokes and drinks too. It's so disgusting. I hate the smell of smoke and it makes me sick. I can't wait till he goes back to school (he better go back) in january. I don't think i can take it anymore...well atleast if he wasn't a jerk to me all the time and if he smelled a little less like tabacco there wouldn't be a problem. In my opinoin he's really wasting his life and talents. He needs to stop being a bum... *sigh* And that is that - Saturday, August 18, 2001 04:00 p.m.
Another broing day goes by. I almost didn't get up for work this morning. (I hate being in a rush.) So now i'm home with northing to do. I checked my email and that was about it. i'm waiting to hear back about my CDJapan order. I hope they send it out soon. (i decided on the Gackt - Live Mars video. Beth(Kozi-chan)also ordered Lareine - Fierte no umi to tomo ni kieyu. She passsed up buying a shirt at the radiohead concert for it. She loves them that much, hahaha)....la de da...now what? ano.... hmm, i realize just how poorly i write. I think too fast while i type so nothing comes out very well. ha, but this is just a weblog afterall, i don't have to be formal with my writing. I can do that when it comes to school essays and such. (Those last few sentences had absolutely nothing to do with anything, oh well) Friday, August 17, 2001 11:04 p.m.
Today was a very crazy day. Yuki, Beth(who has now been dubbed kozi), and I got toghether to go to the mall. We had desingened some nice outfits that we were going to parade around the mall in. They were supposed to be skirts with lace and bloomers, unfortunately we had some problems with the outcome. So we couldn't wear them. We were able to throw together other mis-matched outfits. Our time at the mall wasn't as much fun as we had thought it would be. We didn't do anything, or buy anything. All in all it was a waste of time and gasoline. We went back to Yuki's and watched that Malice Mizer video i mentioned before. That dance was so wonderful that we all decided that we just had to learn it. (haha) Yuki had relatives at her house so she put that and other video on a disc and we ventured down the road a little to my house. My computer sucks and is very slow so the video didn't work right and we didn't have enough room in my dinning room to dance. Yuki stabbed her foot several times on my wood stove. To solve this space issue we rearanged my entire living room to put the computer on the coffee table so we could dance. That's when we went insane (well that was when it started) Yuki got to be Mana, Beth was Kozi and I was Gackt. hahahah we are so stupid some times but it really was fun. We also enjoyed acting along with the Malice Mizer video Beast of Blood. That was even more fun) and i got to be Klaha for that one.(Beth was very skilled at imitating that Kozi-walk down the hall) After that we died and made fun of Beth till around 9:00. What a wonderful day. Too bad tomorrow at 10:00 am i have to go to work..that just ruins my weekend. I really hope i don't have to work on Sunday too. Friday, August 17, 2001 12:11 a.m.
i feel much better now. yuki called me up not too long ago just to tell me that she downloaded a Malice Mizer video...(well actually she wanted to know if i had safety pins) it was an older one with Gackt. She said it was "great" and Mana, Gackt and "the red guy" (we don't know his name, he's a forgotten member..hahah)do a nifty little dance. that just made my day. nothing can beat Malice Mizer. especially when your in a bad mood. hahaha that's just what i needed. all i have to do now is see this wonderful video. yuki and i were talking about how cool it would be to learn the dance (haha) we always say things like that. at the shoujocon during the shoujo-a-go-go we did a stupid Gackt-Mana dance. (that was funny) so now all we have to do is convince Beth that she wants to dance too. Thursday, August 16, 2001 08:28 p.m.
i was hoping that as the day went on i would feel better. i'm still fellin' down. ahhh, it's no fun and even "Pinku no kasa" isn't helping. i just hope that it'll run it's course and i'll be fine by tomorrow. the last time i felt really depressed was alittle while before school ended. during that time i stopped eating...(BAKA!) after a while i came out of that. just got to make sure that doesn't happen again...(actually, writing this down does make me feel just better.) that's a start... Thursday, August 16, 2001 08: 46 a.m.
*sigh* i'm feeling pretty miserable today. i'm not sick i'm just depressed, very very depressed. it started last night right before i went to bed. i don't know what it was that made me feel like this though. it's one of the worst feelings to ever experience....it's not helping me write anything here. i was hopeing that i would want to vent but now i just don't care. (long pause)i don't know what else to say Wednesday, August 15, 2001 11:19 a.m.
Last night was the radiohead concert. I went with yuki and her parents. (this was right after work around 2:30) the car ride was long and i was tired, very tired. Yuki and i didn't have much conversation in the car. but we arrived at the concert....after walking back and forth for a while we found the "bathrooms" which i didn't use because they were disgusting looking (well just the thought..*yuck*) so, we got our seats on a hill so that we could see over everyone. it wasn't extremely far from the stage. and we waited. long time later: a bad band opened for radiohead. i can't remember their name but they were terrible and their songs were soooooo long. i thought it would never end. Afterwhich there was a DJ for a while and finally radiohead. i ready did enjoy the concert. besides the fact that all the pot and cigarette smoke was making me sick, and that there was a stupid guy in a red hat that stood right in front of me. (there were some funny dancing people standing next to me too) anyway...their proformance was good. however i didn't quite feel right being there. beth (who likes readiohead alot, alot more then i do) wasn't able to go. She was having her wisdom theeth pulled out. So i filled in for her. My feet hurt from standing so long and i was just as tired on the way home. Yuki and her mom argued about yuki getting a job...and that's all i remember...i was too sleepy. (atleast my hair doesn't smell like smoke anymore...) Tuesday, August 14, 2001 07:45 a.m.
*ahem* to comment on yuki's "07:42 p.m.---Monday, August 13, 2001" blog entry: 'shut up!!'
oh yeah, today is my mom's birthday. otanjoubi omedetou gozaimasu. and later this afternoon after work i get to go to a radiohead concert in boston. (i think i'd be more excited if i liked them as much as yuki and beth do/did.)
(*gag* i feel like crap......i'm going to go die now. really.)
Sunday, August 12, 2001 09:17 p.m.
Sunday. i usually go to my dad's. but today my mom had planned to visit my brother, Justin. so we drove to Concord and went to a really nice japanese steak house resturant. (there aren't many good japanese resturants around here) you could even sit on the floor and eat if you wanted to. (i wanted too but no one else did..) the food was really good too. i ordered more than i knew i could even think of eating just so i could take some home. (i was just happy to get the rice....i love that stuff)i'm making myself hungry....*drool* (now that i think about it i don't even think that the people who ran the place were even japanese. i don't remember hearing anyone speak japanese, i did hear chinese though. hmm...) Saturday, August 11, 2001 09:21 p.m.
i've worked for so long. doing a job that i really don't like at all. i've saved almost every penny that i've earned. (i have only spent money on costume stuff) i think that it's about time that i spend alittle money. what harm could it do. i'd only be spending the least of my paychecks (and not even the whole thing)....i just don't know what i want to get. i want a jrock live concert video, but which one. it's a toss up between Pierrot's Dictator's Circus V, and Gackt Live (Gackt is cheaper...but i really don't know)there really isn't anything else that i want. there are very few things that are on my list of "japanese related things to buy". Gackt wasn't orignially on it but he was put on after i realized the video was cheaper than pierrot (and i'm addicted to him now). i think the only other thing that is on my list is the Alichino art book. and that can wait. (this isn't counting the costume stuff i need too. or those 5 inch platforms, those i will get my mom to pay for. the only expensive part of my costumes is the gold stuff on my kamijo jacket.) i have about $160 saved from the shoujocon to spend on my costumes. i think that will be plenty, for now anyways. (who knows if we will even make it to the katsucon this february.) so many things to buy. oh and lets not forget the wigs. (those i don't need for a while though,so i'm not worried) having money is the only good part about having a job. (unless you enjoy what your doing). but i don't care it's time for me to treat myself to something nice in the form of a video.(he he) Friday, August 10, 2001 1:00 a.m.
So today...yesterday was pretty boring. i didn't do much of anything. oh yeah i added a counter to the bottom of my page, why i don't really know. now i can see all the people that don't come here. not that i care, really. this is just a blog afterall. i can't expect people to actually read it. besides it'n not like i'm linked anywhere so no one can come here anyways... Thursday, August 9, 2001 09:57 a.m.
last night i downloaded 2 Gackt videos: Mizerable, and Kimi no Tameni Dekiru Koto (Live). haha now i'm addicted to Gackt. i will be on a continuous search tonight to find more videos and download a whole bunch of mp3s. Gackt is quite nice looking too so that is always a plus...and when he dances (haha). those video's a just so great. ((i NEED more, must get more....!!!)) Wednesday, August 8, 2001 10:37 p.m.
I really didn't have anything to write today, but since i have nothing else to do while i wait for this video to download.........oops i was distracted by the song playing and lost my train of thought. (no real loss)i tried to hook up my brother's scanner to my computer so i could scan in the new and improved EPICA pictures that i drew as well as some pictures from Alichino vol. 3. (i'm very very slowly translating parts of it..well i was but more important business came up and i stopped...)unfortunately for me i couldn't get the drivers for to work so that means no scanner. oh well so much for that, ne.
This heat can't be good for my health, i been feeling terrible for the past few days...i'm dizzy and my stomach hurts and i have a constant headache. all around i feel pretty shitty. tomorrow is only going to be worse.
Tuesday, August 7, 2001 11:30 p.m.
It's too hot and it's making me sleepy (again). I forget that it is possible for NH to be this hot. I went to work today and thanks to that moron girl (the same one i mentioned earlier) i had to work 5 hours longer. It was horrid. (i'm sure she purposely didn't call in because she knew that she would have to work...it's obvious that she just wants the paychecks but doesn't want to actually "work" to get them) But my time working made me realize why i hate people so much.... i don't want to have to see anymore disgusting, grubby, smelly, toothless hicks.
Monday, August 6, 2001 11:21 p.m.
I spent the day with friends. Friends who i hadn't spent time with in ages (not really ages but...you know). It was nice to see everyone again. We really didn't do too much though, just hanging out. We did drive over to the near-by grade school to swing on the swings in the playground. Afterwhich we rented 2 movies. "the 13 chairs" and "Edward Scissorhands". The 13 chairs was in the horror section and was the only movie that was missing it's original box so that's why we got it. (but...) it wasn't horror after all. Just a bad 70's movie about a guy whose dead relative left her fortune in one of her 13 chairs....unfortunately the guy sold the chairs and had to track them down. (ooooh, scary, hahah) He finds some women and sleeps with them too. That's about all that happened. We couldn't watch it all because it was so terrible but we guessed that he finds the money in the last chair. Edward Scissorhands was much much better, we had already seen it and knew that we had nothing to lose by renting it. (since we all really like that movie)
...........so that was my day.
I'm starving. We have absolutely no food in my house and i didn't eat very much today anyway. (haha i should have know we weren't going to have food today, i should have eaten more at heather's this afternoon)*ooo my stomach is growling* Monday, August 6, 2001 02:27 a.m.
I was bored so i thought i'd come back. I probably should get some sleep but i don't want to. When i have to go back to school it's going to mess up my whole agenda - got to bed early - wake up early - and try to stay in a good mood. Everyone seems to think i'm always in a bad mood. I must have a permanent frown on my face. I'm not always in a bad mood though. I don't want people to see me like that anymore.(i think it scares them) But there is just so much going on in my life that it's hard to remember to smile sometimes. (I'm to irritable and argumentative. The stress will probably give me a heart attack at 21 and that will be the end of me)
Sunday, August 5, 2001 10:05 p.m.
Sundays make me tired. Maybe it's just the heat...
I was going to write about what i did today but another thought just sruck me and i feel like talking about it instead. In a way the whole situation is making me a little depressed.
Hmm..when was it? I think 2 years ago. "Marlene" started to date this boy named "Luke". At first he was very nice to, buying her flowers and such. Time went on and his kind facade faded to reveal his true form. He was a mean controlling bastard who never let "Marlene" do anything she wanted. She wasn't allowed to see her friends anymore and soon faded out of the picture. I would see her in school but she never talked to me anymore. To get on with my story...after several failed attempts to break up with him, "Marlene" final did so.(just a few days ago) She calles me up and we talk for quite sometime. However it's hard to speak with someone who you haven't seen in so long. (Especially when we have all changed).
It's a good thing that she wants to come back into our little group but thinking it over i feel "strange" about it. It's not like we can just pretend that nothing happened. It was a big deal at the time. it's not going to be the same....but with time i think that everything will straighten out. (it seems that when ever a boyfriend gets involed we lose another friend.) But "Marlene" is not to be portrayed as a "victim" either. If she didn't let him treat her like shit and realized she could do better than maybe there never would have been a problem....
I just hope that nothing like that happens to me. And now i'm super depressed and the song i'm listening to isn't helping. (all names were changed to protect the innocent.)
Saturday, August 4, 2001 09:08 p.m.
Kami-sama! i can't believe how stupid i am. I spent so much time trying to figure out why none of the pictures worked. It was so simple...why i didn't notice it before(...ah! i'm so mad) See, what happened was that i forgot that i didn't have anything uploaded at the pitas site (becuase you can't) so all the HTML was messed up. Why it dawned on me now and not any time before..i don't know. But i'm just glad that everything is set now.
I don't have anything else to say since i worked all day. I had to work longer than i was supposed to and the girl i worked with was a moron. That's about it. Saturday, August 4, 2001 11:13 a.m.
Yay! I'm so happy (well not really). i think that most everything is fixed on my page now....here's hoping. Well, sometimes the pictures still don't want to show up. For now i don't care. I'll be back later, after work.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 3, 2001 Welcome to my weblog, "L'Etranger". The
name came from one of my favorite books
by Albert Camus.The English translates into "The
Stranger". To anyone who
is interested i reccomend that you read it. This is not
only my first
weblog but it is also my first HTML experience. Nothing
is quite how i want
it yet. (so be kind) The background is pretty simple now.
I haven't decided
if it will stay just like this or if it will ever change.
It all depends on my mood. (gomen but i can't remember where i got these
images.
I'll try to find out so i can give those people cedit.)
My plan was to
finish this page up by Mayu's birthday (NEW SODMY, EX-LAREINE).
Ha, i almost didn't make it...
My dad drove me to the mall (again) in a second attempt to find some school clothes. (school starts on wednesday) I really hate shopping. The mall was too crowed. (I hate crowds too.) I was getting extremely frustrated trying to find something that i liked. It was too hot and i was sleepy and getting in a bad mood...i just wanted to go home and sleep for a long long time. (which i did end up doing) I still feel like crap though.....i have to remember to get up early since Beth is planning on hanging out at my house after her cross-country practice. I think i'm just going to go die now. X_X
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
I was going to listen to the Raphael Graduation video while i was drawing (to inspire me) but now my mom is home and she'll want to watch tv....i like being alone at night to watch and do what i want. (why does she have to watch such stupid shows...now i really don't feel like drawing. I guess i'll have to go hide in my room.)
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
(oh look at that Beast of Blood just started on my winamp (hahah..Beast blood....)
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
~ ishiko
11:54 pm (Otanjoubi Omedetou Mayu-kun!)
Now that my ranting and raving is open for public view
everyone can read about
my boring life. Nothing overly exciting went on today
though. I celebrated Mayu's
birhtday by eating some bread (his favorite food) and
drinking some coffee(his favorite drink). I spent the middle of the day
working. I'm a cashier at a local deli/greocery store. I really hate my job
however i need all the money
i can get for next summer when i go to Japan. I'll be
going with Yuki and staying
at her gradmother's house. Around 6:oo i went out to eat.
The waiter tried to strike<
up a conversation about music. I would have liked it if
he had just left me alone.
He had noticed the pictures of Kamijo, and Mayu on my
purse and asked who they were....
i'm not very comfortable talking to strangers. Especially
about things like Jrock
("men that dress like women" is not a
conversation to have with people who don't
understand). So that was my day. Tomorrow i have to work
again and i'm not looking
forward to it. Like i said before, i'm not at all a
"people person". I want to go
to bed but i'n not tired. I don't sleep much anymore....oh
well. I'll just go
lay in bed and listen to music. I think i've babbled
enough for one night.
Oyasumi nasai ~
ishiko (just excuse the fact that i don't like
to capatalize or
punctuate certain things)