A new life --- DEMI- v.3 --- Sumeragi Subaru

Tuesday, January 20, 2004
06:51 p.m.

Started reading "Therese Raquin". *squeak* I love it loveitloveitloveit~~ XP FINALLY a break from all the lovely angelic Romanticism heroines. x_x

Oh, and I just don't know why I have such bad luck. Was supposed to go watch ROTK today, but there was a strange car accident and the ways to the cinema were cut off..... o_o;; There were other cinemas but mom didn't feel like bothering. ~_~

No, I am never satisfied. How despicable! XD There are people with bigger problems than me, and I still go and whine all day long. *contemplates if she should rant* Ah, hell. Just a little bit. There is a cute girl in my school. She is blind. And yet she goes to classes and behaves just like any other student would. She walks the stairs herself, writes tests with her Braille-typewriter, changes clothes, packs her things... What courage and a will to live, huh?

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Monday, January 19, 2004
06:00 p.m.

Well, dammit. Today is one of the days when I don't feel as bad-looking as usual. XD So I go to make my blog more personal... And see the webcam sucks. It's cloudy so it won't take pictures because it's too dark, and if I turn on the light it takes the photo in awfully crappy quality. ~_~ ........ But of course, the lame camera can't possibly take my wonderful beauty in all its glory, anyway.... Yeah. THAT must be why it doesn't work. Duh. XD XD

Thought of the day: teenage/adolescent boys are such utter and complete idiots... Oh God... My brain hurts... x_x

*worship* XD Okay, now seriously. I'm glad that it turned out good like this for you. ^.^ Hmm, I can't help you with that pic... One would think that there is EVERYTHING on the net. *sigh* And by the way. Um... I need to talk to you. ^^;;; When you have a little time. Don't want to write it in an e-mail, because... well, because. I'm like that. XD

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Saturday, January 17, 2004
10:13 p.m.

Mmmmmm. Weekend.

Laputa: Castle in the Sky is very, very cute. ^^

I don't know where I put my CD with Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind... *cries* Hope I find it. x_x

.hack//sign is interesting. So different. I hate Subaru, though. Even if she's so goddamned pretty. *_*

And that's all from me today.

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Thursday, January 15, 2004
03:13 p.m.

World's so screwed up. >_<

Never look forward to something. Ever. The more you do, the crappier it will turn out.

That scolarship is not at all what they said it would be....
Carlsen bought Tokyo Babylon and from what I collected, they'll RUIN it COM PLE TE LY....

Thanks a fucking lot.

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Wednesday, January 14, 2004
08:02 p.m.

I found the perfect image to represent myself. XD But am unable to make it into a decent layout. >_< Life is so unfair...

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Wednesday, January 14, 2004
04:24 p.m.

Woah. Big news.

Half an hour ago, my school called home and announced that there is a new program in school. Two students from the entire school will have government pay their scholarship (is that the word? ^^;;) every year. That is, if they pick you, you can go to one of the 10 listed countries in Europe and go to school there for 1, 3 or 12 months. Guess who they picked... o_o;;

It's not that hard to guess, is it. XP

Wah! Ohmygodthatssoverycoolkyaa~ X3 Maybe I'll be going to Germany... Because a) I know the language and get to practice it and b) buy tons of manga merchandise! XP But I have to see the list and the brochures first... Anyway. I would like to go for 3 months, because 1 is too little and 12 too long. ^^;; So that would mean I'm going in October, I believe...

I'll see.

But of course! You I pick over Bloom and Viggo (or whatever his name is) any day. *grin*

Hell yes, Arwen is gorgeus. *_* And okay, than I'll be expecting you. XD

Ah, right. Brother's 10th birthday today. I didn't get him anything. *laughs* So mom said that her present was picked by both of us. ...I didn't even see it yet. XD XD

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Tuesday, January 13, 2004
09:25 p.m.

Gah school grr kill kill.

You should know you don't have to remind me to be nice to my elders. XP XP I always am. I'm a well-trained little girl! XD And hmm, guilt is unhealthy? Judging by my internal and external wounds, I'll have to agree. XP *laughs* But... well... at least I don't blame myself for... THAT. >_>;;
I loved your rant/thing but am too tired to have some coherent thoughts on it right now (after I wrote all *points down* this...)...

Ohhh, when you find out how to reach through the computer screen do tell me! I need that. XP So, you have comments now.
Though I am confused as of where to reply to the things I get written in MY comment box. Here? In that comment box? In that person's box? *is confused* XD;;

Hmm... Right... I have to go watch LOTR:ROTK these days... ^^;; Missed TT, but have it on DVD. Cinema is much better, of course. Can't let ROTK escape. But seriously, this calls for a rant. ^^;; A blog is THE place to get such things out of your system.

Why doesn't Iruka like the LOTR movies?

Simple. Because of the *squeak* Legolas! Lookit his pretty hair!! And *squee* Aragorn is so sexy! Really, I have nothing against someone liking/obsessing over an actor or a character. But Legolas-fangirls really tick me off. Yes, I proudly say I am one of the 1% females on this planet that DON'T find Orlando Bloom attractive. *laughs* So... when these fangirls that go to see LOTR 10 times just to swoon over the actors say they are Tolkien and LOTR fans, it makes me sick. Half of them didn't even read the book. I bet most of them won't even notice the lack of Saruman in ROTK because they'll be too busy thinking about how cool that scene with Legolas and the oliphant was. I drive in the bus and a girl next to me hops up-down squealing "Oh! Aragorn!" every time we pass a big movie ad on the road... They are everywhere! (okay, so I grin too when I see the newest edition of Auto-moto that has an article on "Subaru Impreza", but anyway...) And the damn MOVIES created all these evil fangirls. Grrr.
I first read all the books years ago. (would like to take this opportunity to say hi to my dad, from whom which I inherited my love for Tolkien) First Hobbit, than they translated FOTR, and I went to the store every couple of weeks to see if they translated the next of the trilogy. I have all 3 of them nicely stacked on my shelf, dust never coming near to them. I like Tolkien, so I also have Roverandom and Silmarillion (okay, so I didn't read Silmarillion yet, but anyway...). One would think I like the movies? No, I don't. They make people think that if they look at the movie, it's the same as if they had read the book. And enough for them to say that, if they liked the movies, they are LOTR fans. Please. No. Get off your lazy asses and read the books.
Umm... The point of this was that I don't like the movies because it created a massive explosion or LOTR and commercialised it... Somehow... I can't find the right words to explain what I'm trying to say. Uh. x_x

YAY, now I have my own ROTK post like 90% other bloggers do! And I didn't even see it yet! XD Mou... I want to go see it with someone, but everyone I know either watched it already and don't want to again, or don't like LOTR... So I'm probably stuck with annoying my mom to go with me (god, please let her have some free time already >_<##). I can't go alone. x_x People will look at me funny... XD

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Monday, January 12, 2004
06:55 p.m.

First day of school, and I am already very annoyed with it. I don't want to go back there!

Warning: pointless whiny paragraph ahead.
God, I hate the Computers teacher. She's so bitchy, but the real reason is that she doesn't know anything about computers. ~_~ Chances are that I could be a better teacher than she is....... I mean, we are in DOS and she wonders why doesn't the code for Floppy work. She says it's :A. I say that I thought it was A:. She goes, "Yeah, right. Try it and you'll see it isn't." I try and it works. -_- She doesn't know what the difference between WIN Home edition and Professional edition is. She doesn't fucking know WHICH the latest version of Windows is! We, her students have to tell her! >_<## GAH! Don't teach US, go back to your job of a Math and primary-school-Computer teacher. She gave us a practice in Word today. Oh so hard; write some text in and edit the paragraphs and bold letters. I did it before everyone else and what does she say? Erase it and start over, the whole class has to do it together at one time. *cries* I want to learn something new. Dying of boredom here. x_x

Dude. In my entire class, I am the only one that read Crime and punishment for the assignment. ^^;; Not that is surprises me. ¬_¬ *coughidiotclassmatescough*

HA! I found out how the SPAM found its way towards my "secret" e-mail adress. I nicely wrote it on a website I made 2 years ago. It died, but the addy was still there. *deletes* There. Hopefully no more will come now...

Gee... NOW who's being overly cute/sappy? Huh? XD XD I know, I know... Just hope it'll be soon, nnn... *whinewhinewhine* XD
@rant. Hm. True, Seishirou didn't have to LOVE Subaru. But since, I believe, most of the fangirls find TB through the fact that it's "shonen-ai", they expect the two be "in love"... Than, I think Seishirou is much like a child. He was always closed from everyone else in his world, and never had anything bad happen to him... (Not that we KNOW of, at least. Unless one counts that he probably grew up looking at corpses all the time.) That made him "selfish", not really being able to understand anyone else. Not even Subaru; I don't think he understood Subaru in the end.... He just stubbornly went his way, commited suicide not asking Subaru if Subaru's wish was to kill him. He assumed it was, even after Fuuma told him it wasn't. He thought it would all fit in nicely, himself dying in the arms of his special person and thus his "toy" being happy as well. But it's not THAT simple, and he as a "child" couldn't understand it. ...... Ah, actually I have no idea what I'm talking about. Just ignore me, ignore me... *gives up*

Yep, the one with him and a cigarette box. Pure sex. *fans herself* Even though it totally looks like a cigarette ad. XD *stares at it some more...* Oh, a tiny "seven" is written on the cigarette. XD
Guilt. Oh, the guilt. I feel guilty for everything... ^^;; And than bite and loathe myself. -_- Sometimes I just assume I'm guilty, and than cry until someone tells me I'm not. ^^;;

Oh, right. Quiz, found @ Grey's. XD

The compliant uke.
Youre an all around uke. Emotionally, physically,
mentally. Youre kind and supporting, and its
likely that youll be taken advantage of because
of it. Although you are an uke, your
relationships are probably consensual. Serving
others is just what you do best! You care
deeply for your loved ones and can always be
counted on to be there for the best kinds of
support. Youre a valuable friend and lover, and
are probably quite appreciated. ...even if it
doesnt always look that way.

Ahhh, everyone knows I am proud of my uke-ness. XD XD

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Sunday, January 11, 2004
04:47 p.m.

Mmkay... Calmed down a bit... I barely managed to open the packet because my hands were shaking. *sweatdrops* Even though it's pre-owned, it's in a great condition. ^.^ Really, the scans online do the artbook no justice. Some colours get lost, the shades or black melt together ("So Seishirou HAS a body!")... This is the first artbook I'm seeing IRL. ^^;;; And I OWN it. It's MINE. *mad scientist laugh* (note to self: that doesn't mean you shouldn't try not to get blood on that greyscale Seishirou picture)

*cough*

Ju-chan, I am back, yes I am. But *cries* since school starts tomorrow, I probably won't be online much like I was in the last coupla weeks. It's not good for my head if I stay awake long and wake up early. *sigh* But I want you... ;_;
And I have no idea why this cuts you off lately. o.o Stupid...

Carefree? Lucky... I always worry about something. x_x Maybe we mortals shouldn't think about feelings too much... XD

Strange thing..... Ian van Dahl's "Castle in the Sky" is my current song on constant loop. If a week ago someone told me I would like it, I'd have kicked him. I tend to fall in love with most of the songs from music videos I download...
(please, tell me why do we build castles in the sky...)

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Sunday, January 11, 2004
01:39 p.m.

Waiiiii! I just recieved my Tokyo Babylon Artbook!
I died and went to heaven. Better entry later, if I come back.

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Saturday, January 10, 2004
21:46 p.m.

No, dear, actually it IS... I just came back home. I was too vague with explaining when exactly I'm returning... And I said 10 days, when actually it was 8 (hey, I didn't know myself ^^;;)... Hmm... *patpat* Too much studying fried your brain?

Gah, damn that love. Keeps confusing me. >.< But one would think that it's normal to love such a nice person... To hate them could be hard, but to be neutral... *shrug* Ah, whatever.

... Too tired to type anything smart. Not like I usually DO, but you know what I mean... XD

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Friday, January 9, 2004
11:55 a.m.

*waves*
I'm just so amazing. XD Mom brought her work-laptop with her, I borrowed a Internet cable from someone, and managed to connect from the hotel room! ^.^ But it's SO EXPENSIVE, 2 minutes = 1 €. x_x
Anyway... It's good here. This morning I didn't go out to ski and just now finished Crime and punishment. Finally. Since I was reading it so quickly, I didn't remember half of the names and such... And I don't know what happened to Luzin in the end... ^^;;;; Oops.
The revelation that school starts again on the 12th REALLY shocked me. I have no idea why I thought it started a week later! x_x God. I want holidays to last longer.....

Went in the city/village (under the hill I'm on now) the other day... I wanted to find some manga, and actually found a bookstore but they only had some random things I didn't like. *sigh* BUT than I stumbled upon a really cheap store and for the first time in my life liked shopping for clothes. XD I bought FOUR different things. Like, woah. XD Including a lovely black-white dress. It's so cute! X3 I think maybe kinda... Twiggy or Coco Chanel style. Don't shoot me if I'm wrong, I don't know anything about fashion. ^^;;

Now... I met my old classmates here. Since we left primary school 3 years ago, most of us see each other only during this week in Austria. So... I found out that Lena has a very dangerous case of... *checks dictionary* ...thyroid gland cancer. She went to an operation 3 months ago, and is recovering, but there is still a chance that she might die. They don't know what will happen in the future. That's awful. She is quiet, cute, nice, good, polite... Like a perfect character from a book. The worst things always happen to the good people, don't they? Which gets me thinking of Subaru again. Let's assume that Seishirou didn't love TB-Subaru... Subaru was all perfect and nice, but he didn't. I can understand that. I sat in class with Lena every day for 8 years. But I never *loved* her. She was just... there to me. I never had any special thoughts about her. That's strange, I think. Does that mean one can't love a person that has no (visible/real) flaws? Or is it just me? Eh...

You... Pff, somehow everything reminds me of you (want details? XD) and makes me miss you even more. XD And I must say, no matter how bad it sounds, I'm... flattered (is that the right word? I'm sure I can think of a better... Anyway...) that you miss me. Heh. XP Ne, go go, survive these couple of weeks~! *pounces up-down*

Coming back on Saturday! ^_^

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Thursday, January 1, 2004
02:08 p.m.

Tomorrow morning I'm going away~ Austria. Skiing. 10 days. No computer. No Internet. ;_;

Woe. New Year = the entire damn family coming for lunch today. That's at least 10 people. x_x I hate that so much.

Wai! I found someone having Utena and they sent me the entire 39 episodes to my Streamload account! *sparkles* Lucky~ ^.^ I'm just kinda confused and worried as to what they're like. There are 2-3 versions of each episode so I don't know which to download. O.o And if they are subbed or dubbed... Eh. I'll see when I download it next month.
Also, yesterday I recieved my burned CDs. Laputa, Nausicaa, first 4 .hack//sign episodes, all Gravitation music, a dozen of music videos... I wanna watch~ But today I won't. So I have to wait for 10 days. Gah.

Your layout is beautiful. *_* But why make a layout with colours you hate? XD I love these pictures, you used them good. ^.^ Hmm, which reminds me... I am slowly beginning to panic about that artbook. The money is sent, the book I still didn't recieve... XO

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Tuesday, December 30, 2003
08:51 p.m.

Excuse me for this random stupid entry. I'm bored and feeling silly.
Btw, this was written during 5 hours time. XD

=f)#8¢~#$%x(I want to see Shoujo Kakumei Utena~!! T_T I don't know anything about it, but it is drawing me to itself like a fucking magnet. Gaaaaaah. (note to self: Don't change the layout already. Don't change the layout so soon. Resist the girly prettyness. Resist. the. prettyness.)

Hmm. I believe that X made me change my preferences. *blink* See, two years ago I almost got a heart attack when I saw my two girl classmates making out (just so they can see my reaction). *sweatdrop* NOW I don't think love/sex has anything to do with gender. Just gimme someone to hold me. Curse you, CLAMP, curse you for corrupting me! XO

^_^ Utena opening theme is cute~

Like, dude. Jealous, obsessive, posessive people like me should just be KILLED. I keep amazing myself with these "virtues" all the time....

Computers are amazing. *_* With Terminal Service Client I can enter my uncle's computer that has super-fast Internet and download things. While I'm sitting at home. A lot of movies, mp3 and music videos are up there now, waiting to be burned on a CD and brought to me. Happyyyyy. *^.^*

GAH. Final Fantasy IX doesn't want to save! Fucking PS2! Now I have to go buy a memory card for PS. x_x

Mmmm, oh, it's only 2 pages long and I didn't even re-read it. So it probably sucks. But it felt good to write it, and that's ALL that matters. XD

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Monday, December 29, 2003
10:59 p.m.

Ahh, creation is such a wonderful thing. As Yuki said, "I haven't ~~cried~~ written fanfic in ~~six~~ two years, of course my head hurts." *flops down*

Wai, you'll be a great aunt, I'm sure of it! I'll most likely be hated. Heh heh. XP

Oh, and thanks for the CLAMP-fangirl-birthday congratulations. ^_^

So tired....... x_x

*now flops down totally dead*

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Monday, December 29, 2003
11:45 a.m.

Oh my God! During the shower yesterday night I got a fanfic idea! O_O Maybe that could mean that I'm getting out of my creative slump?? *excited* About damn time, after a couple of months...
After all, a fangirl without her imagination is a pitiful being.

That aside... Woah. I do not believe that it passed 365 days since I was first touched by X. XD Blogs are good for things like that. XP Anyhow~ On this day 2002 I saw the X movie. After seeing it... Well... I thought that Karen and Seiichiro are married and their daughter iz Yuzuriha, that Fuuma/Kotori/Kamui are all related by blood (because Kamui came and said that "Mother is dead" ^^;;), that Subaru is an evil bastard whose some kind of wish is to kill some guy he didn't even meet before in his life (hahahahahaha *dies*), that DOE!Fuuma is just simply mindlessly fucking evil, and that Kamui and Yuzuriha should have cute puppies (because dying in the arms of a sexy man is so romantic~). I still think that, though. XD
Excerpt from the 12.29.2002. post, because this calls for a celebration.
Watched X the movie (german dub). I like it. It's totally gross, but the art and the animation are wonderful. Kamui is such a bishounen... Too bad he's going to be traumatised for the rest of his life (if he doesn't commit suicide). *sigh*
Thus, a CLAMP fangirl was born!

Shi-chan~ You would bite them? *sniff* Thank you. XD And, wow... That sounds so cool. o.o Now I know what I'm talking about... ^_^

And for you... *pat pat patpatpatpatpathughughug--* Okay, I'm done. Had to do it for various reasons... ^^;;

Oh, and this image I just found amuses me to no end. .......... *gasp* My non-existent Spanish language skills tell me there exists a TB artbook 2? And only 500 copies in the world?? The hell...

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Sunday, December 28, 2003
08:08 p.m.

Finally got in the mood to be able to watch End of Evangelion. Of course, now I don't feel any better. NGE still makes me go just WTF?. But at least I'm not that shallow like 3 years ago and am actually able to think about it more. *twitches* Unlike my much hated 13-year-old-self... "Oooh, evil Kaoru getcha dirty hands offa Shin-kun~! XO" Thank God I grew up. But I digress. Anyway... It's neat. I'll have to watch it again, got lost during some parts..... XD;;

Ah, but Ju-san... It's a completely innocent pic. Really, it is. You've gotta believe me! XD

Pale is good? o_o Okay, than I'll hang onto that... XD And I'm not blonde, not really; more like some light brown or hazel... *nodsnodstakesnotes* Thank you for the colour tips. ^.^ I'm the kind of girl that likes basically all colours, so it isn't a problem. ^^ And I try to avoid people as much as I can... Paranoid. Well, they ARE all out there to hurt me and break my heart, I swear they are! XD
"What the fuck?!" ....... *lmao* Indeed.
Oh~ almost forgot! Congratulations on being accepted to go to Canada! Even though I have no idea why and what for... XD;; But yeah, you are very happy. So... ^_^

Hmmm. What I need now... "Sleepless beauty", Every Little Thing's "Yura Yura" and Luna Sea's "Tonight" on loop for about an hour, to erase the effects of Evangelion...... x_x (Don't leave me alone! Don't abandon me! Don't kill me!.... okay, okay, I'll stop.)

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Friday, December 26, 2003
11:54 p.m.

*thinks if she should post this in the comments* Ah, what the hell. This is simpler. XP

*jabs finger in your direction* EEeee! Hentai! Hentai! ... Hm. Although... *pokes* I do like my breasts. XP And, um, Luna and I thank you for the praise. XD *blushglomp*
You know what a great solution for CLAMP's UST would be? If they did what Murakami did. In the actual Gravitation manga, she only has shonen-ai. But she also sells doujinshis with PWP yaoi separately. XD And CLAMP did start out with hentai so they are certainly capable... Eh. They won't even show a kiss. x_x

Thanks for thinking so, Shi. ^.^ (*low level of self-confidence rises a little bit* XD) And Luna is always grumpy during the day. See? XD ... Wow, you know much. ^_^ Hmm, I am so pale that people keep asking me if I feel alright. ^^;; (I don't bother with makeup) So that's why I think black or dark colours don't really fit me, since they make me look even more pale?

Quiz snatched from my seme. XP XP

You're sweet, loving, but sometimes a bit unsure. It could be your naivety. Youre just a step above Uber Uke, really. You have an idea of what you want, and you often have the strength to go and get it. It's just that you aren't sure of what to do when it comes to love. This could be due to one of many reasons, such as your crush/lover tends to be rather distant and hard to figure out, you've had your heart broken before, you've never been in an intimate relationship quite like this, etc... You're also the kind of good person that bad things like to happen to. Which is sad, but there's no real helping it. All you can do is stick through it and work towards making tomorrow a better day (if you even have a tomorrow, that is)...
Likeliness of being seme: 10%
Likeliness of being uke: 90%
Some fellow Bashful Bottoms: Subaru (Tokyo Babylon), Tsuzuki (Yami no Matsuei), Quatre (Gundam Wing), Hakkai (Saiyuki)
What Yaoi Stereotype Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Friday, December 26, 2003
02:57 p.m.

This was bound to happen... After all, no blog is complete without random silly webcam shots!
Btw, I usually wear contact lens, but was too lazy to put them on today. XD
Resistance is futile, Captain Picard.
What was that? aka almost profile shot
I wuw mai Luna~ XD
*cuddlecuddleSQUEEZE!* >:-D
"Get away from me, you fool! >_<"
This shot serves no purpose whatsoever.
My clothes are awful, my hair is a mess, I'm not wearing any makeup. And, well, I don't care. XD

Yep, I'm very proud of my little baby. XD But my family isn't so thrilled about her doing such things... XD And I'd love to have a sister like you to advise me what to wear. I mean, even though I'm not a boy, I have no sense for style and have no idea what I look good in and what not... ^^;;

Eh... Damn that CLAMP. So many hints and couples, but none of them actually consume their relationship. >.< As far as I know, only Hisui and Kokyou in Wish (implied only by Kokyou's "I have devoured this angel" XD Kokyou=wild sex with anyone good-looking. XD) and Sorata and Arashi in X did it (not counting the parents of random characters). Leave all to the fangirl minds, eh... And Sei-chan, frightened? *lmao* How cute~

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Thursday, December 25, 2003
11:06 p.m.

Ah, Christmas. Christ's birthday; gotta love the little fella. Family reunions; can't wait so see all my cousins that keep asking if I have a boyfriend yet. All the food; I just love to eat a lot. Pretty blinking lightbulbs; I want to watch them all the time... </sarcasm> Calm down, calm down...
Got some lame presents. *sigh* But some money, too. ^.^ And... My nine-year-old brother got a WEBCAM. o_o
[later] ... Oh good, all the guests just left. ~_~ My older cousin kept trying to look at some files in my folder of my brother's computer. Unfortunately, inside were Gravitation Remix doujinshi scans. Uh. VERY H yaoi. So, not good. I kept throwing myself at him, shrieking and dragging him away. In the end he gave up and concluded that they were real-life heterosexual photos..... x_x *goes to hide that folder deep in the computer*

Wai, I simply adore German. (*is currently downloading Nena and listening to Die Aertzte* XD) Every time I hear it I can't help but smile. ^^;; It's hard and rough. Very interesting. ^.^ Fascinating how much a person can learn just by listening, ne? ^_^
I heard someone say once that TB Subaru is a walking wetdream for pedophiles. XD I wonder how he can move in such tight clothes~ W-what would you do with your brother if he was like TB-Subaru? Something Hokuto-style? XD
*shudder* I'm not a morning person. Lately, I go to sleep at 2-3AM and wake up at 10-11. But even if I go to sleep before midnight, it's best for me to sleep to 8-9~ I got a cat because I swore I'd take care for her, but... She charmed my entire family so much that they almost argue about who gets to feed her. @_@ 'Sides, she can take care for herself very much. She is very evil since she spent her early childhood in the wild... Brings home dead mice every day, sometimes birds, a little rabbit once in a while.... XD

Seishirou... is a heartless bastard to everyone except the person he loves. Of course, first he has to admit it to himself. XD He's nice but also sadistic... >.> Maybe that can count under the playfulness? Hmm. I'd better give up, Seishirou confuses me. XD
He wasn't trying to get in Subaru's pants, that's for sure... He just enjoyed seeing him all flustered. Although I wonder what would have happened in "Save" if granny didn't interfere... XD I like my Seishirou seducing and having sex with TB Subaru. It seems so mean and wrong. *^.^* ... And speaking of X Seishirou, I just thought of something. When they first meet in X8, Seishirou goes away quickly after telling Subaru he's cute. Maybe he thought Subaru didn't change and expected him to blush, but was surprised by Subaru's glare and ran away. What a theory. XD

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Wednesday, December 24, 2003
02:05 p.m.

Dream! XD (Wasn't hentai, though, Ju-chan... XP) I was at home and watching XTV, where Subaru and Seishirou were talking about something... And Seishirou suddenly told Subaru that he is his father. XO Bad Iruka, bad! That's WRONG! >_< ..... Hey, I just remembered that they were talking in German... *flashback to the scene* "D-du bist mein Vater...?" OMG I dream in foreign languages! XD XD Anyway, later I somehow got transported to the Ten no Ryuu lair or something, sat next to Subaru and kept admiring how gorgeus he is. He wasn't too pleased. XD That's all I can recall. I *heart* my weird dreams. *^.^*

True, he is playful. And so much like a child. But... hm. When I think "Seishirou", I see this or this. Not this. XD One should never, ever read a lot of fanfiction before seeing the actual thing... *sigh* The first impression is very important, and well, my first impression was that Seishirou is a heartless bastard. -_- Anyway. Still, I think the Year version of him was a too exaggerating one. I imagine Seishirou being subtler at getting what he wants, and not "Hey, do you think I'm sexy?" XD;; But that was just a part of having fun. *shrug* Eh, I don't know. I should re-read TB again one of these days...

Uh. Unlike yours, my TB-Subaru is a naive, innocent fool. ^^;; Opinions always differ. *shrug* Especially when CLAMP is in question. That's why CLAMP fans are always arguing about something.
I think Seishirou definitely enjoyed every minute of the Year. It was just something different for him. Amusing. Because you can't see people like Subaru and Hokuto every day...
Ah, Luna was very adorable the first couple of times she did this... But it isn't fun when she comes to wake you in 6-7AM every day. She can meow LOUD. XD

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Tuesday, December 23, 2003
04:23 p.m.

My cat is insane. During the night and in the early morning, she always wants to be cuddled. But if you try that during the day, she'll run away. Today she came in my bed in 6AM, sat on my head and began to purr. -_-

Mmmm. I'm getting Final Fantasy 9 for Christmas. Mother's friend got it but doesn't like it so she gave it to my little brother. ^^;; But I'm so taking it. Yay, I always wanted to play FF on Playstation~ XD

What I think... In X Subaru doesn't want to do the same mistake of trusting Seishirou again. Or anyone else, for that matter. And Hokuto did suspect Seishirou because she has the gift to understand people's hearts. Of course Subaru could have noticed that Seishirou is the Sakurazukamori. It is strange that he didn't, being the Sumeragi head and all. Yep, he's blind. And so very good at conviniently pushing these scary moments in the back of his mind. "That wasn't Seishirou-san!" -_- He doesn't want to admit some things to himself. That's natural, I guess. *shrug*
And he MUST have wondered why Seishirou did this or that, but no, he ASSUMED he wasn't even worth to be killed. Subaru spends years wondering why Seishirou isn't coming for him. He doesn't know anything about Seishirou's real personality, he only knows what others told him about the Sakurazukamori. What else can he think, than that he simply isn't worthy of Seishirou's attention? If he hated him, he would have killed him. If he loved him, he would have done something else. What else to think, when a person ignores your existence...

So. I say both Seishirou and Subaru are stubborn idiots. ¬_¬ And both of them are equally guilty for their relationship turning out like this.

Shi, I saw a man dressed just like Seishirou a month ago. And he was rather good-looking, which is a strange thing coming from me (rare are the men I consider handsome XD). So I stalked him for a while... XD
I'd say in Rebirth Seishirou meant that the real reason -the truth- for him being a vet is because he uses the animals for Sakanagi. And that that fact would horrify Subaru.
Fuuma and Seishirou aren't evil. They're just fulfilling their mission, and trying to have some fun while at it. For Seishirou killing is a regular thing like shopping or eating. And I think it doesn't make that much fun for him; that he made the Bet with Subaru, to break the monotony. Maybe.
A pity Subaru and Seishirou didn't have a chance for anything. Except during the year... But that wasn't really Seishirou, so it doesn't count. XD
Yep, he grew up surrouded by death. And all children unconciously look up to their parents; if they're doing it, it must be a good thing. He could kill Setsuka because he knew that was what she wanted. It's nice that he fulfilled her wish. ^^ Even if it sounds morbid to others. >_>

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Sunday, December 21, 2003
10:06 p.m.

Layoutttt~ *dies* Took me the entire day, ate a lot of my nerves... But I'm happy I did it myself. With the help of at least 10 different tutorials. XD My first time using brushes, so it's not spectacular. XD I like pretty layouts, but can't make 'em for nothing... ¬_¬

Christmas has officially started. Uh. My uncle asked me if I wrote a letter to Santa. >_> I don't think I need anything, actually. Maybe some clothes. But just gimme money and I'll buy something online myself. *^_^*

Waiii~ You should smile more often. ^.^ And I'm very interested in those pictures~ XP

Now for the replies~
Ju-chan: Then CLAMP is evil too XP
Well, that's obvious. They probably feed on the souls of the fangirls of their manga. XD (and lately they're after fanboys as well)
And Hell, if CLAMP did another manga with Subaru I want him to poke into the past and try to find something about Seishirou. Seishirou is the character that we know basically nothing about. That's not fair. But I think that now that he's dead... There is even less chance for us to find something about him. *shrug*
He couldn't understand Sei to the very last. You think Seishirou didn't suffer because of that? Whenever he shows Subaru his more gentle side, the Sumeragi is not able to see it. And it is always SUBARU who starts the fight. For being not able to see past the masks Seishirou presented to him, I say let him suffer. It's only fair if he finds out for himself what kind of life Sei had. .............
Oh shit, you're right. >_> But still, it's not Subaru's fault... If someone killed my most important family member, of course I wouldn't trust him any more. He always starts because he feels that's something that must be done. He's very dedicated to his work and obligations. And of course if he spent more time with the real Seishirou, he would have seen through his masks eventually. But he didn't see him for 9 years after the incident. He's been thinking that Seishirou is evil for NINE YEARS. You can't erase that with just a couple of glances in X.

And thank youuu~ *kiss* for telling me about the background.

I want a Seishirou myself, or even a Fuuma XP Most to care for me and keep me to my toes, I guess XP
Either works. ^_^ *dreamy sigh*
I believe that even with two people who are opposites there is always a slim chance they can touch. Time can help. But Subaru and Seishirou did NOT have that time. When they met again, it was under a war. However, if they had time, I think they could be together. Even if they didn't live together, to see one another and visit would be harmless and almost soothing. They could learn more about the other, offer comfort and simply be there. It wouldn't be like Tokyo Babylon, but it wouldn't be endless pain. And that's not much reason, but I'm still fishing around for why this and that and all ^.~
No, that is reasonable. *frowns* Dammit, everything that I believe in is wrong. XD Or maybe it's just that I'm not firm in any of my beliefs. XD Anyway... Yeah, if they spent some time together Subaru would have came to understand Seishirou better to some level. They both have a job that they are required to do, so Subaru should understand that...
And I believe Seishirou's full past is NOT known and can't really be used much except for what we know to determine if they can live together or not.
Seishirou is mysteriousss... Most of his personality is created by the fans, so everyone has a different opinion about him. CLAMP probably did that on purpose. Not for Seishirou to be a mystery to Subaru only, but to everyone else as well.

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