Search hit: warm pepsi can

(To the person who searched for smoking daughter sexy, I do not have a daughter, even if I did, I would not find her sexy (I like older women). Also, if I did have a daughter, I'd yell at her for underage smoking--I know I'm getting older, but I'm still only 29.)

~inky 12:29 p.m., Saturday, January 26, 2002

I just spent 3 hours with one page open on 3 different browsers trying to figure out why Netscape hates me.

Back when I was first learning with my Cid/Vinnie site, I discovered that Netscape chose its own colors for my pages because it didn't like colors entered "#xxxxxx"--it was many days of pondering before I learned to drop the quotation marks to earn Netscape's love.

Now, I've finally figured out that while it disregards my attempts to define set table cell widths (e.g., width=200), Netscape will respect attempts to define relative widths (e.g., width=33%).

Probably everyone else knows that already, but since I've learned everything by trial and error, I am quite proud of myself for that little bit of knowledge. I've never aspired to design greatness (as the looks of my ini d site plainly reveal), but at least I think I now know how to make my pages look almost the same on Netscape and Explorer. ^_^v

~inky 08:50 p.m., Friday, January 25, 2002

I know some of you have heard me bitch before about how the default settings on IE somehow got changed on my computer and I haven't been able to get them back the way I like them... >.< well, it's still annoying me. This morning I stumbled across an article while blog hopping. I want to find it again, but somehow I can't even get into my history file anymore. *bites* I don't want to revert to Netscape. I guess it's time to stop bitching and start playing with other browsers.

(I am also getting pissed with my workers for changing my homepage settings while I'm at lunch. >.<)

Oh, Cys, glad you liked the papers. ^_^ Completely unrelated, but also something you might enjoy: a Kyo shrine. Don't you think we need one?

~inky 08:20 a.m., Friday, January 25, 2002

One of the women from the business office just walked in and told me that she had discovered a "fuu-pa." My mind instantly leapt to FFX and the shoopuf and I was about to become surprised that she played video games, too. I am glad that before I said anything, I realized that she was talking about a faux pas. I think this will go down in my memory just behind the time (I think I was a highschool sophomore?) that I was rambling to my parents about something I had been reading for biology and I called epinephrine, "e-pine-frine." They got a good laugh. I vowed to never again speak a word that I did not know the pronounciation of.

~inky 08:34 a.m., Thursday, January 24, 2002

There was a lot of blood and violence in my dreams last night. That didn't disturb me. My mental running commentary on the first dream did.

Someone was making tomato soup. The ingredients were anything handy that happened to be red. The main ingredient ended up being the blood from when the unknown person chopped off my fingers. (Yes, "handy" was an intentional pun.)

Mental commentary: "Ha! It's not exactly vegetarian anymore, is it? Serves them right!"

I would be curious to see that dream interpreted.

~inky 08:18 a.m., Thursday, January 24, 2002

Cys, I html'd another of the papers I was telling you about. This was written for the Gender and the Bible seminar I took. It was a class of 12 people and everyone read everyone's papers.

This was yet another case of a whole room, minus the professor, staring at me blankly and wondering what the hell my problem was. Rereading it, I see that at times the paper continues a class discussion without much information for those who weren't there. Still, I am rather proud of the bits that are just me.

I didn't do such a great job with the other commentators--I blame it on the professor and not on my laziness. ^_~ He was the same professor who urged me to work on a doctorate, the professor that I adored because he tried to get everyone to stop relying on Biblical commentaries. Lots of students here won't try for an original thought, they turn straight to the commentaries to tell them what to think--even sadder is when someone actually has an original thought, checks the commentaries to see if anyone else has seen the same thing, sees that no one has, and so decides that she must be wrong and ditches the original thought. >.<

This professor was wonderful. He kept telling us that the commentators are no more expert on the subject than we are. The only difference between us is that the commentators know more languages. I took his words to heart. For the next two years, I spoke with the confidence of an expert. It was very liberating. I think I unnerved a lot of my fellow students.

There is one more paper I want to share with you after this one. Then I will stop boring everyone. ^_~

~inky 06:00 a.m., Thursday, January 24, 2002

Okay, I've avoided linking technomancy here because almost everyone links to their blog. (I am a little rebel wannabe.) I do read it though, and this was hilarious. It is a few FFX yaoi ficlets (no spoilers beyond what the characters look and sound like).

~inky 11:52 p.m., Wednesday, January 23, 2002

sami loves me! *^^*

pressie from sami

Now, I must decide what to draw for her. ^___^

~inky 11:16 a.m., Wednesday, January 23, 2002

More of the usual fetish hits, today's flavor is apparently denim (with a little baseball thrown in):

jeans fetish
jeans butt
bat girl story baseball

~inky 10:54 a.m., Wednesday, January 23, 2002

Miz, I don't know what is wrong with the blog, I thought I fixed the issues with Netscape not liking it. Hase tells me it was blank at one point this weekend but she can view it now. (Doesn't make much sense that I am telling you this when you can't read it.)

Cys, you do remember the girl who got on your case when you made the admin statement that plagiarism is not to be tolerated? She's on yaoi_D and on InitialD ml? Rings bells? Keep a real close eye on her. I just about posted a message to the list saying that I would not post any more fics to the list because of her. But then I realized that if I do that, the stupid people would win. She is already using a phrase I coined just two weeks ago in the chapter revision I posted. She's not using it in her fic, or I'd tear her a new one. Still--considering her attitude about plagiarism being kinda okay if it is only "borrowing"--I'm about ready to do a pre-emptive attack.

~inky 11:32 a.m., Tuesday, January 22, 2002

I am now up to almost forty hours on FFX. >.> Hase claims that's not nearly enough time since I had a three-day weekend.

It's about at the point where I can't say anything for fear of inadvertent spoilers. So... on to general RPG rants.

Why, why, why must the "bad guys" always want to take over/destroy the world (or worlds depending on the RPG and how many planets the baddies can get their hands on)? It would be nice if the baddies stopped thinking so globally for a while. It would be nice to see some smaller threat, something more personal, something that would allow for more character development, something that forced the hero to actually think about his motives. Most people would be willing to try the save the world if they could go about slinging magical swords and had five buddies that did the same. (One of the many things I liked about Vagrant Story was that it kept to a smaller scale.)

If anyone knows of a RPG (Playstation or SNES only, I'm afraid) that they enjoyed and breaks from the "save the world" theme, please let me know of it? *^^*

Also, back to FFX (but so irreverent/irrelevant it should spoil no one): How do people that were behind me keep getting in front of me?

Small scale example: One of the merchants, Rin, is in a room with me. I leave the room and Rin behind, the door automatically closes behind me. I walk down a short corridor--it is the only passage leading away from the room I was in. I step from the corridor and there's Rin. If I wanted to do a parody fic, I would definitely include this mystery.

Large scale example: O'aka. My party is always leaving O'aka behind and then meeting him in the next place. Yes, he is a travelling merchant, but he still ends up in places one would not expect to see him... If you have played either of the Wild Arms or FFII/IV or FFVII--or practically any other random RPG out there--you know that there is always some secret bad guy behind the more visible bad guy. If I did a parody fic, O'aka would end up being the ultimate baddie. He did it all to extend his empire of overpriced remedies and potions. Not satisfied with a monopoly, he created a system of fiends that keeps the demand for his products constant...

What? I really don't think it is that implausible. It seems a lot more fitting than slashing any of the game's main characters. ^^

Randomness:
How do they breathe?
I think the Al Bhed must be all of Quatre's relatives... crossover, anyone?

~inky 09:43 a.m., Tuesday, January 22, 2002

Earlier this weekend, I noticed "women wearing fur." That only disturbed me because some of the related searches the search engine offered were "men wearing bras," "men wearing high heels," "women wearing nylons," and "women wearing diapers." <.< Yep.

I've noticed that almost all of the really disturbing hits come from some version of Lycos. Here's one that doesn't bother me, though, "guys tied in bed." *waves at that hentai* Yep, I like them, too. Just never searched online for them. ^_~

(Also from Lycos yesterday, "gay fetish" (not too far off, and yet so not what you were looking for, eh?) and "eyelashes." Isn't "eyelashes" rather vague for a search? Wouldn't that be like me wanting information on Keisuke and doing a search for "blonde"?)

(Oh, before I forget once again! It's now been six days of the cute, young, blonde, spikey-haired, black-leather-jacket-wearing, not really bright courier guy. *^_^* He's about as close to Keisuke as I am going to get around here. I am not looking forward to the regular courier's return. Both of them are shorter than me, but I make a point to stand up when the other guy is here in an attempt to be intimidating and make it harder to look down my shirt. I'm sorry, buddy, but I really don't want to flirt with anyone that says the word "hernia" on a regular basis--unless you are a rich doctor and want to support my yaoi dj-buying habit?)

Anyhoo... I wouldn't be getting nearly so many hits if I changed the blog's name, but they all amuse me too much. ^o^

~inky 09:40 a.m., Tuesday, January 22, 2002

I still feel like crap. I don't know if it's because I was up till 5:30 this morning, because I'm just now eating breakfast, or because of the crying. No writing is getting done today, that's for sure, though some really tender moments with Halliel and Mikael slipped into my head today. I didn't expect Halliel to have any tenderness...

My head hurts. I feel dehydrated. I don't know if my eyes are up to playing more FFX. I'm at a part where I have a feeling I should have spent some more time leveling up along the way. I think this might end up being the first FF I play more than once since FFIII/VI. (Heh, I never finished VIII and IX... *slinks away after revealing that secret*)

Note to self: Are you planning to ever learn from your mistakes or should I expect the next thirty years to be reruns? (Or wait... does that make me Star Trek: TOS?)

~inky 04:23 p.m., Monday, January 21, 2002

That's how much I've played now. Not sure how that translates for others; I suspect I play slowly. I'm in the forest before the fourth temple. I was asked to chase butterflies, but by that point I was so sleepy, I just turned it off without waiting to get to the next save point. I haven't been playing blitzball at all. >.> A sports-related minigame? How is that supposed to appeal to me? I loved chocobo racing in FFVII, but a lot of that love was derived from the ever fun and cheesy chocobo music 'cause I'm a dork like that.

Let's see... non-spoiler comments and observations.
-I might get tempted to write a tiny thing about the chocobo knights. I'll try to fight off the urge.
-Those two big Ronso remind me of Hans and Frans back in the days when I actually watched SNL.
-"I swear I'll never wash this hand again!" Mwahahaha!
-Oh, even a macarena joke >.>
-My feelings on Seymour have gone from "ooo, sexy man in bad clothes" to "bad touch, BAD touch!" (a phrase I picked up from the days I worked in day care and had to take classes to be aware of things like child abuse)
-My main character remains the one with the lowest HP... kind of unusual
-It's nice that all of the characters seemed flawed, just like RL people
-Yuna loses the Most Annoying Voice title to someone who only speaks in memories
-Is it just me or does that shoopuf driver talk like a Gungan?

On to other stuff:
Sami, we are all so proud of you! ^_~ *huggles*

Cys, I had a breakthrough with the scene I was talking over with you the other day. Right when I was exhausted by too much FFX and needing sleep, it came to me. It all comes down to Kyo's honesty. Yes, he's breaking the rules in the computer lab, but he's honest in personal relationships, sometimes brutally honest. One of the main conflicts in the fic stems from Ryou lying to himself and Kyo insisting that it's time to grow some balls and just be honest. But much of Ryou's "dishonesty" comes from his sense of responsibility to his family. He cannot abandon that any more than Kyo can abandon the brutal honesty. In the long run, both would think less of the other if either of them did so. The answer is not as easy as "let's compromise." There's going to be several years when the only answer is "this cannot work now." >.> Why do I keep making things more complicated for myself?

~inky 07:58 a.m., Sunday, January 20, 2002

Have played about 10 more hours of the game... comments without spoilers:
-Yuna's voice still annoys me terribly
-I want to see more of Seymour... but I would prefer if he were naked
-arg, why is it always someone that I like? ;_;
-Isaaru=sexy NPC

hase, I'm not giving you weird looks, I think all your little bits of foreign languages are cool ^_^

~inky 05:00 p.m., Saturday, January 19, 2002

Thanks, cyssy. Hmm... maybe I should try to get some anger management training, too. That might be useful.

(And just maybe I'm taking my frustrations about RL out on everything else? I can't be the sweet quiet person that everyone at work thinks I am if they knew that lately everytime the phone rings at work, I mumble "shut the hell up" or "f*ck off" before answering in my lovely cheerful receptionist voice. It is really frustrating. Really frustrating because as much as I disagree with the Church, I do feel a need to do work that in some way tries to prompt Christians to actually be Christian instead of all this exclusive, conservative, looking-out-for-me-and-mine-hope-you-have-fun-burning-in-hell-crap that I see. I think working at this school can be a good thing, but I've been waiting for a position to open--its amazing this woman hasn't been fired yet, she refuses to get the training they say she needs. The VP here wants me to work in her department, thinks I am going to waste where I am, agrees with me that I have a higher level degree than all of the staff here (not faculty) except for the president, the two head librarians, and herself. She has said that it doesn't matter that I haven't had any business training, it is perfectly clear that I am a thinking person. She also watches with some astonishment as all of my superiors in the business office fail to understand what I am saying about the postage accounts. >.< I swear, if the problem is something that can't be answered by an adding machine, they are clueless. >.> Hmm... let's end this rant, shall we?)

Sparky let me sleep last night. Considering the dream I had, it may have been better if he had pounced me. Some really weird incest shit, which is too disturbing to consider further, but I blame yaoi fics for it. The dream ended with me borrowing $5 from Oprah. I have no clue. She's never popped up in a dream before. I don't watch her. Yes, the subject of the dream would have been a topic for her... but no advice from her about that, just five bucks loaned until I could find an ATM and the suggestion that I should have more calming, feminine clothes in my wardrobe. I grabbed the cash and ran from the foam green sweater set as fast as I could.

Rumblebee sent me an encouraging note. I don't know if she reads this--but if you do, thanks, that was exactly what I needed to hear. *^_^*

In other news, scary girl is thinking about transferring out of the school in May--could be a good thing. She also said that Ed might do the same. Arg. My best workers keep leaving me. He can be an ass, but I let him be, because he gets the work done and can think for himself.

Oh--those searches that John was running? I think he might be doing a research paper.... I really hope he is doing a research paper.

Well, I've more to say, but Sparky has just stunk the room up. Time to give the computer a break.

*runs away*

~inky 07:34 a.m., Saturday, January 19, 2002

hugs to miz, cys, and hase to listening to me rant and helping me vent less publicly

In this case, miz took up the rant for me and I feel much better. It was one rant that I did not want to get into. Bad for the heart--or something--I'm sure.

Somehow I forgot to add a comment about two other FFX charas. I will revert to black on black again.

Luzzo and Gatta: My, my... well, it's obvious to see why so many yaoi fans jump to conclusions about these two. Right now, I am thinking that I'm not crazy about Gatta. I think maybe it's just his voice. But Luzzo... hmm... he looks a bit odd, he has a very... unique voice, but I keep making Tidus walk up to him so I can listen to him again. Not sure if that's from amusement or from some twisted "that guy is weird, I like him" thinking.

My plan for the 3-day weekend is to take the new toy over to the kitties' house, spend more "quality time" with the pyscho cats, write one thoughtful rant, and see what I can do about Takeshi and Kei--they are still stuck in that shower with the plot going no further. Poor boys, they are very water-logged.

~inky 02:57 p.m., Friday, January 18, 2002

Okay, in an effort to cheer myself, comments about the first 4 hours of my FFX game. Non-spoiler variety. Just about what characters look and sound like...

Because I know a few of the people who read this blog don't like to even hear what a chara looks like... I'll go to black on black for almost all comments.

First reaction: Ohmigod, no~~~not character voices! *twitchtwitch* At least after a while, most of them grow on you.

Second reaction: Okay, they are spending too much time focusing on characters' faces just because they can.

Third reaction: first cg movie sequence, WOW O_O *starestarestare* That looks so damn cool.

Tidus: looks like Squall and Zell's lovechild, strangely enough have no desire to slash him yet. If I had a prettier face, I'd get my hair cut like his looks in the movie bits.

Auron: My word, this man seems /too/ gay. He is my gay highschool art teacher (who I had a major crush on), a tall Napoleon, and Morpheus (from the Matrix) all rolled up into one man with plenty of attitude and BAD fashion sense. I have seen enough spoilers already online to know there is some slash potential here, but I hope it's not with him walking around with his one arm like that the whole time.

What kind of name is "Wakka" anyway? I'm sorry to those who want to do a corruption of Wakka series, I was just very disturbed that moment in the water when he came up behind Tidus and put his arm around him. O_O Instant "nonono! not this couple!" cries echoed through my skull.

Lulu: okay, her breasts are way too ... well, how does the woman not have terrible backaches? She must have like antigravity balloons in them... and yet... man... the hair, the insensitive attitude, the purple lips, all those leather straps in her skirt... Of all the characters, so far the one I could get the most obsessed with is Lulu. I don't know if that disturbs me or not. I just usually try to avoid being a fangirl of busty characters because that seems like such immature fanboy behavior... but what I like about her has nothing to do with all that exposed chest.

Yuna: the first time she speaks, I decide she's a totally annoying character... I think my first impression may be wrong, but still... wish they would have dubbed that differently. The movie bit where she dances and sends the souls away is gorgeous, just gorgeous.

Over all, first impression: the gameplay does not annoy me the way FFVIII's did, but it doesn't seem like much gameplay, lots of watching. Oh, but what you have to watch is so pretty. *^^*

~inky 11:10 a.m., Friday, January 18, 2002

There is too much going on. A couple of my other projects are taking more time and energy than I expected them to. Instead of calming me, it's feeding the fire.

I need to make some choices about priorities.

The only thing that doesn't have me really ranting now is that FFX has been keeping me mellow, though I really don't have time to give it more than a few hours.

You know, I'm about at a point to stop reading fanfiction and to stop writing it as soon as I get the two in-progress bits done. Maybe instead of complaining about it, I should just stop reading it. But I started reading it because, somehow, to fill in all the boring hours at work, they don't mind me surfing, but reading a book looks "unprofessional." A new resolution of mine is to give some sort of positive reinforcement to the ppl whose writing I enjoy a lot. But maybe otherwise, I just need to get out.

It seems like a major difference between the bloggers whose fic rants I've been reading and the fic writers they rant about is age. It was just last week that I was told "it's just fanfiction, it's fun, stop being so adult and stuck up about it." I can't help my age. I can't help that I'm a fan even when I guess I'm too old to be. But why should I have to stop liking things just because I'm almost 30? (And here I'd been trying to convince myself that 30 was still pretty young.)

I have lots of ini d plot bunnies in my head, but I will give them up for adoption. All, except the take-sensei and the yellow sweater. Then, I'll move on to other things.

Gah... cyssy, talk me out of this decision, okay? Tell me I'm just overreacting because of that article. I didn't mean to have such a depressing entry... I was going to jot down some non-spoiler comments about FFX. Maybe another time...

~inky 10:04 a.m., Friday, January 18, 2002

not much to say at this point, I am musing over several things that I really need to hold my tongue over until I've had time to make my ranting coherent...

somehow I am managing not to spend every minute with my new toy ^^

~inky 01:36 a.m., Friday, January 18, 2002