I'm not feeling as bad as yesterday, I'm not sure what that was all about, feeling like I did when I was anemic, but no sign that I am. Working on redoing the site, since the screen caps have exploded. o.O That's taking longer than I thought, but once I get it done, I should have no reason to ever revamp more than 4 pages at any one time ever again. I just ran 900 pieces of mail through the meter in about 25 minutes. I'm tired of things being shorthanded around here.

I am also cranky because I am going to have to clean my apartment this weekend because of the friend who invited herself to come visit from NY for 2 days. >.< One, don't invite yourself just because you managed to get some free time... at least ask me what would be a good time for me.

(snipped the rest of the rant)

04:37 p.m., Thursday, February 28, 2002

I wrote a polite--but long--note to one of the girls in question. Tried not to get to into the whole "arg, don't steal my ideas" thing--because it is hard to really protect your ideas if you're going to post them online, and hey, it's hard to really claim something as yours even when you are absolutely sure it is.

When I started responding, I saw that one of the messages had the briefest--so missable I missed it on the first read--acknowledgement that some of the ideas came from me. Good thing I saw it, because the note wasn't quite so polite before that.

Still, I tried to explain why even with the slight acknowledgement it really bugged me. This list already had the whole thing earlier with someone plagiarizing a fic from a yaoi site, and then this borrowing ideas from my site without even giving my site a link. It feels like it is setting yaoi fans against non yaoi fans in a disturbing way. Like the message is "you yaoi people are bad, what you write about is so wrong that it gives us the justification to take whatever we want from you." Does that make sense?

It's like we are such evil people that we shouldn't be allowed to own our ideas. If anything is amusing to the non yaoi people, it can be taken freely for their amusement.

Maybe it's some kind of missionary movement. Come in and save the poor innocent jokes from their corrupt surroundings. Rescue them from our perverted and twisted grasp.

It's not what I want for my site. It was meant for sharing with yaoi fans, not to be filtered for the amusement of those who think what I do is wrong.

I don't know what I am saying. I think I need a nap.

07:17 p.m., Monday, February 25, 2002

I am getting really tired of seeing a certain two individuals either using phrases that I coined in one of my fics or making jokes with references to stuff at my site. (And I'm not just being paranoid, several other people have noticed.) (And, yes, I do know that at least the one who uses my lines more often does visit the site because he/she e-mailed me through the form mailer there.)

What pisses me off about this? It's a yaoi site, at least one of them belongs to yaoi_d but never says a word, but they're using my lines and cracking these jokes on the non yaoi list. Why?

Why won't they participate in discussion on yaoi_d if they spend enough time on my site to pick up these jokes? Do they think I am not on the other list just because it is non yaoi? Don't they read the archives? Or is it that they are pretty sure they would be pounced on if they said that at yaoi_d because people would recognize where the jokes came from?

I don't care what people say, imitation really isn't flattering. Would you be flattered by something that weasely?

I can't really do anything about it. It's not like they are writing fics with my lines. But come on, girls, I am not amused.

06:58 a.m., Monday, February 25, 2002

I was finally able to do a load of laundry today. The new washers are functional at last--it's been 2 weeks since they were installed.

One of the driers wasn't working properly earlier in the week when I tried drying some hand-washed stuff, so I put the wet laundry in Jesus this time. I prefer the drier next to Jesus, because I thought I like anonymous driers better. I have changed my mind.

The old driers were replaced about a year ago. Within their first week here, someone wrote "Jesus" on the inside of the dryer's door. I don't know why anyone would do this. The youngest person living in this building is 24. It disturbs me that one of us--adults who appear to be in our right minds even though we are living on a seminary's campus--felt compelled to do this.

Will God smile on them for spreading the word to the unfaithful that use our laundry facilities? Was it meant for me? Was it meant for one of the several gay men living in this building? Was it meant to bring us back to the flock? Mind you, I don't go to church--and never belonged to the denomination whose school this is--but that denomination's stance is that gays should not be ordained. One man--one I didn't even know was gay--just moved out of the building. Ed explained to me that the reason for this guy's move was because too many people in the building knew he was gay and he thought moving off-campus would make his sexual preferences more private and less likely to endanger his chances of ordination.

As I have said all along, why do you want to serve God through a church that denies that part of you is a gift from God? There are denominations that do a much better job. (Shove that "hate the sin/love the sinner" rubbish. Why are you still buying into millenia old biases just because they are preserved in the Bible? Why does your capacity for critical thinking turn off when you open that book?)

Anyway, it's an odd thing to do--writing "Jesus" on a dryer. A washer... a washer would almost make sense. The whole "dipped my garment in the river of the blood of the Lord and it came out gleaming white" comes into play. I'd only want one washer like that. Every week my unmentionables would be "washed in the Blood." I would never need to buy bleach again. Wouldn't want to wash colors in that washer though.

But a dryer? What's the Jesus/dryer connection? All I can think of is sheep. The Good Shepherd makes your laundry as fluffy soft as a well-washed sheep--but don't let Him dry your woolens, because wool and driers don't mix.

Maybe it's social commentary. Something about Jesus and his solidarity with those who labor for injustly low wages? The driers at least make a dollar an hour, how many laborers in the world make even that much?

It's probably just brainless graffiti. That's a shame. Wonder if it should count as using the Lord's name in vain?

On a slightly related note: I did the load of laundry after waking up from a nap. I woke because I was having a bad dream. In it, I was outed--and outed incorrectly at that (I'm getting sick of people doing that, if you're going to blab my personal business to people who have no need to know, at least get it fucking right)--to the entire staff and faculty here. That made me very mad. That wasn't the bad dream part. The bad part was the person my subconcious chose to do the outing. >.<

She acted as if she had been a past lover of mine in front of all the people here. She acted as if I had been a corrupter who had lead her off the ol' straight-and-narrow path. The galling thing was that we never had a relationship--but I had wanted one.

I think I am feeling a lot of mixed stuff over a couple people in real life now. I know who that person was in my dream, and yet, thinking about it, I realize the bad feelings I had about the dream are tied to two different women.

(And how on-topic is this? One of those women always presented herself as a dyke and proud of it until recently, when she suddenly said she was bi...and now she's marrying a man. I don't care how much she insists, I believe her desire to become ordained without changing denominations has had much more to do with her decision than she may be consciously aware.)

04:36 a.m., Friday, February 22, 2002

Tall, dark, and RUGGEDLY handsome!

You're one lucky bitch.
[In bed, you can call me Mr. Strider]

Aw, you go for the tall, dark and handsome type. How trite. True, Aragorn's as much a man as any of the Fellowship, but the whole "I'm not good enough to be king" thing really gets in the way of bedroom fun. Whining can be a real turn-off, you know.

Okay, turn this around a bit. Make it: tall, dark but bleached blonde with a bandana, and ruggedly handsome. And give him a "I'm the only one good enough to be king--except for maybe the man I'm obsessed with--I'll make you feel what I felt, Takahashi!" thing instead of that whining thing.

What do you get? Kyouichi is my kind of man. ^____^

07:40 p.m., Thursday, February 21, 2002

Cys, I did a google search today for "Kyouichi Sudou." I begin to sense that we are the only two Kyou-obsessed people in the English-speaking world. O.O

We will hide in the tiny shrine and plot how to take over the world. >.> Just you, me, Kyou and Ryou. *^^* (and maybe Kai... and Wataru...)

Now I need to start writing some content for the shrine. And try to convince a few more ppl to fic him.

07:26 p.m., Thursday, February 21, 2002

It's damp out this morning. When I walked into the building, my sneakers squeaked. Every step. Left. Right. Squeak. Squeak. All the way to the vending machine to get my morning Diet Pepsi. Left. Squeak. Right. Squeak. My brain played evil tricks on me. The squeaking was transformed. Left. Balloon... Right. fic!

Leather Daddy, this is all your fault! I read your review and had to read the fic--because the review scared me.

Now, I am scared even more. One of this morning's search hits: balloons fetish. Arg. A fetish that I did not want to know about. A fetish that by its very squeakiness disturbs me even more than another of today's hits, shit fetish. (At the time I'm writing this, I'm #1!)

The archived page the search hits is from version 2.0--well before I laid eyes on that fic. I couldn't remember writing "balloons" before, so I went searching. Sure enough, way down towards the bottom I make a comment about Lulu's breasts and antigravity balloons. >.>

(A hit from yesterday: mommy phone fetish.)

Mizzy, glad you had a good birthday. Have I mentioned lately that you scare me?

Same goes for the people posting what type of gun they would be. I don't like guns. I am more like the older Obi-wan discussing the difference between light sabers and blasters. "A more elegant weapon for a more civilized age." Or something like that. As much as you know that I am big on saying, "KILL!!!" it's really not my thing. If people are allowed to run around with weapons, I'd like to at least see it being weapons that require a certain amount of skill and finese to use. Heck, they should be ninjas like Edge--not allowed to kill unless they can look good doing it. (And that's just the anime-watching/RPG-playing part of me talking--otherwise, I'm rather pacifist.)

09:13 a.m., Wednesday, February 20, 2002

Archived in the middle of the day, silly me. The explanation for this layout can be seen in the last 2 posts before I archived. Right now, all I will say is: Sami is wonderful. ^_^

09:14 p.m., Tuesday, February 19, 2002