Monday, January 29, 2001 09:53 p.m.

...If caffeine is a depressant...

Monday, January 29, 2001 09:46 p.m.

And again.

I don't think I got it all out the last time. It's been
only 2 minutes.
I want Akuma. but kaachan's on the phone, for over an hour now...
If I died now I would not be regretful.
Do i say that truthfully?
Of course..not... Where's my capitalistic sense?
Where did all my sentimental feelings fly off to?
Where did L&E go?

This is _sooo_ stupid.

Monday, January 29, 2001 09:44 p.m.

I truthfully don't know why I'm posting this...

Am i really evil or do I just think everyone thinks I'm evil or do I think everyone else is evil or does everyone think I'm evil or am i just... evil?

I'm 16 now. ._. somehow I'm not that excited. Now that i think back on the party it WAS the very best experience at a party I've had so far, especially seeing guys neck guys... but what's happened? Even after that talk with Akuma until 4 in the morning before the party, why am i starting to feel... dead inside? Dead inside like it's rotting away and all that decaying matter is weighing me down.
But that's not right. Other than my school standards have lowered about .5 GPA (which in itself I must admit can't be good) I'm the same person, nothing's changed. ?

or has it?

... I have issues. And the most depressing thing is that I don't even know what they are. (it's not about gender or sexuality.)

What are Kaijuu and Akuma going to say when they read this. who knows. maybe I should act more giddy. Or maybe even better, give up some hobbies.

I own 83 Clamp books. What am I thinking.

What AM I thinking. precisely. How am I ever going to get to college abroad. I'm always following Kaijuu around, and truthfully, I wonder why she even wants to put up with me. Why doesn't she treat me like that freak blinkachu who hounds everybody? Am i any different? I pondered that 2 years ago. Kaijuu doesn't need me, she's independent, can handle her own. Is this like it's always been, a mild case of self unsatisfaction? Come to think of it...
Satisfaction is something I haven't experienced in a while. Why don't I think anything clicks?

Nothing's clicking! What happened?! Where did everything go?! What's going on?!?!

God please let this be temporary.
~

Monday, January 29, 2001 09:09 p.m.

Pooped. Too much math.
Hate math.
math should die.

Had lotsa tea and candy today, but alas, no normal food. All that happened today was I bid and lost the TB artbook auction, and bid again on the RG Veda OST. I did translate/look up all the CLAMP Gakuen Kaiki Genshou Kenkyuu Kai voice actors. Was that productive?

No.

Further mind enrichment did NOT happen. What is enriching?
List of things to do...

-purchase lock (to keep out moo-cow)
-start auctions
-review nasty CA driver's handbook (permit test this thursday. I'm beef.)
-research those damn Japanese colleges. (Can you beleive it? I have this FAT list of colleges 5 pages long and they're in 8 point font. Its CRAZY. I'm going to need to translate ALL THOSE. ::faint::)

KILL THE MOO-COW... toro! toro! XD

Sunday, January 28, 2001 11:10 p.m.

XD GYAAAA!!! Well, i still have lotsa shukudai left but you know what? THATS OKAY! I was really bored waiting for jichan to help finish setting up my new net account (damn netzero) and I was flipping through my new CCD anime book #3 -that Chris gave me and not until now had I had the time to read it- and found an ASUKA INSERT!!! ::scream:: It had a picture of Kamui that I had NEVER EVER EVER seen b4 and I just HAD to scan it in. Well... that made me really really happy. ^_^;;

Sunday, January 28, 2001 08:52 p.m.

i dont feel like reaching over and pushing the shift button.
it was too cold outside so i didn't wear my chinese shirt for chinese new year mass. i dunno about you but i think the bishop looks evil... ._. maybe it's an irish thing.

anyhow... i suppose today was a considerably good day except about how the cow ate all of last nights leftovers so i went hungry... stupid fat moo-cow.

i did a little pic of myself, the first somewhat successful one. here's the link. only spent 30 minutes so not too great. what else... yesterday was very very fun. got 2 great big fat bottles of tea from akuma, with oishii okashi too! and ANGELIC LAYER NOW HAS OTOKO ANGELS!!! and his name is WIZARD. very very VERY cool, that made me very happy. ^_^

Saturday, January 27, 2001 12:11 a.m.

Status as of 12:11 a.m.:

I've updated the blog. again. But that's not all.

I've blocked the moo-cow.

Friday, January 26, 2001 10:23 p.m.

And now I have no net access again. And all is not right in the world. Someone kill the fat moo-cow next door. ::explanation::