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( Serenity ) |
Sunday, February 2, 2003 I prefer the relatives on my maternal side. They're the cheena kind but they're nice. Ever notice the more 'chinese' ones are generally not as snobby as the 'english' ones? Except my irritating know-it-all cousin who well, thinks she knows it all. Giving (extremely) unwanted advice, sticking her (snub) nose into where it's not wanted. Aye I'm bitching again, aren't I? But I figure it's justifiable cos I only see most of my relatives once/ twice a year q: Ang pow loot was surprisingly substantial, especially when you take into account the lousy economy and the deaths of both my grandfathers. I think the thing that really contributed to it was the $300 given by one of my uncles. Mom suspects he was feeling guilty about some family politics and did it to compensate. Gah. Adults! Erm, erm. I forgot what else I wanted to say. I'm terribly terribly full. And sleepy, to boot! Friday, January 31, 2003 Just got back from my paternal grandmother's place. The usual reunion dinner la, only we had steamboat instead of the normal potluck and a la carte buffets. Bleh. Now we'll have to eat steamboat twice, we always have it at my maternal grandmother's house on the first day of Chinese New Year! Argh, I generally don't like steamy stuff, the food's bland and tasteless. Not to mention all the gross things that go into the soup, the pork extract, liver, prawns, cuttlefish, sea cucumber etc etc. Yick. We even had chap chye again! I was hoping they would leave that out of the menu -for the first time- since the whole dinner theme was steamboat-ish. Imagine my disappointment! Heh. I only like the broccoli, ate mounds of it. And the quail's eggs! (; The yu sheng was good, especially the crispy bits and the tangy veggies. Haha. The company was... Torturous. I think I've mentioned this before, but I really don't like majority of my relatives on my paternal side. Steph (in Melbourne) and Gerard (I used to think he was really cute) are nice people, their mom is cool too! The rich tai-tai kind (her ex-husband is a bloody cheating philanderer), she spends her days shopping and having high teas with friends. *grin* She's my favourite aunt, she is. The rest of them pretty much suck. I don't like two of my dad's brothers and their wives. And I can't stand their kids, the spoilt brats! Decked from head to tow in branded apparrel, complete with whiny voices. Extracurricular activities almost every day of the week. Tuition for every single subject since they were in Primary 1 (that's more pitable than anything else though). British council English lessons too, geez. The girl just sat for her PSLE and didn't score that fantastic a grade. (I feel like making a snide comment but I will not let myself do it because I know I'll regret saying it tomorrow. Ohhh, the level of self restraint! q:) The other two girls are the same age as my sister and I. Both have tanned legs and short shorts, pink/ purple tees, long rebonded hair. They're... Eurgh. Snooty? Think they're hot and cool? And that arrogance shows, from the fake accents to the casual name/place/movie-dropping. Like, trying to show they've been there, done that. What a load of Pish. Sister and I don't like them, they don't like us much either (we think they think we're antisocial cos we seldom bother to join in their small talk). Whatever. I just think it's pathetic that my family ended up in such a sorry state, that's all. Heck, I don't even have the handphone numbers/ email addresses of my cousins. I don't know their full names, and vice versa. It's really rather sad... I'm terribly bitchy tonight. Blame it on... Oh well, I don't know. Thursday, January 30, 2003 "My boss just gave me some striking advice. He said "You know what I think? I think you're just afraid of rejection. You shouldn't be afraid of rejection, you're too young. You are never going to meet anybody special if you always reject them before they reject you." I stood there for a minute speechless and realized that was probably one of the best "advice" I have ever received in my life concerning "relationships". "So what if you're rejected, who cares? Its not the end of the world. Take it all in, deal, and move on, but don't set yourself up to be untouchable because no one will reach you." (From her) Thing is... I suppose it's only instinctive, really, to protect oneself from pain. Once bitten twice shy, remember? Wednesday, January 29, 2003 His grandfather passed away. He looked so sad and forlon. Like a small boy lost in the woods. He had red-rimmed eyes and a little brave smile. I wanted to hug him. To pat him, to comfort him. To tell him that everything would be alright... Tuesday, January 28, 2003 Tired, so very tired. You say everything that no one says, Monday, January 27, 2003 Know what's starting to really freak me out? The fact that all the recent main 'male protagonists' featured in my life have similar names. Those who liked me followed by those whom I sort of liked: T.M and T.Y. Names will be edited in that case because of certain reasons that I do not wish to state, sorry about that. Wee Tee and Wee Sing. Actually while these 4 occured roughly around the same time, I only truly had my heart set on the second person but alas, it was not meant to be. Anyways. Lianne's trying to matchmake Kane and me now. According to her, we'd be a perfect match because I'm a sucker for sweet guys (he's the epitome of sweetness!). Very much the s.n.a.g., he's considerate and isn't afraid to show his innermost feelings. Loves purple too, heh. We don't really know each other although we get along rather well and stuff. Time will tell, but yea, he's nice. The whole point of this was that... The other guy's name also starts with K. And as Jem used to say... God sure has a funny sense of humor. Ha. Sunday, January 26, 2003 Ahh, Baoling and I were ticket collectors for the Shaggy concert tonight. It was a really last minute thing but we figured getting $30 for a 4 hr job was a pretty good deal. Besides, we got a free dinner, a couple of beers, and access to the concert grounds anytime. *grin* I just wish it was Suede instead, I would have worked for free! But Shaggy was pretty good, I was rather taken aback at how some of the girls could dance! I mean, I didn't realise Singaporeans could be that sexy and uninhibited. q: He told me I'd make a very good girlfriend, and that judging from what he knows, my next boyfriend will prolly end up being the one I'd marry. He knows, I know (and he knows I know) that he's not ready to commit. So...Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. Saturday, January 25, 2003 Actually... I'm not too worried about him liking me. Given his 'previous track record', it's not that unlikely he'd be interested in me. I just don't want the both of us to date and have fun, then he gets sick of me and everything goes downhill from then on. Because if that happens, our friendship, along with a whole lot of other things, will be gone. It's happened before (to him) and I don't see why it shouldn't happen again. Although I suppose the possibility of him tiring of my company even if we're just friends is there; but it'll hurt a hell lot more if we actually liked each other. Because that would make it not only a rejection of my friendship alone; it'll be a cruel dismissal on all sides. There is hope for him yet, but I believe it'll take a very special girl for him to actually want to change his philandering ways... And while it's very comforting to think I might be that one, chances are I won't. It's far more likely than not that I'll be the next in the line of girls who are/were secretly in love with him. I don't wanna be yet another face to add to the collection residing within the recesses of his mind, fond foolish memories of those whom he used to like before. You know you've got it bad I think I've got it bad. Oops. |
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There are times it seems to me
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