Wednesday, April 2, 200311:34 p.m.
Aick. Today started off as okay, Kane came over to help me with some Photoshop, shan't say what we did, just in case this information gets into the wrong hands and I get myself into a huge mess for trying to make something appear like how it originally was. Haha. Anyways, we went to his place after that, I watched how he drew Zou Xuan's labcoat. He really ought to charge people for it, he must have designed at least 10 lab coats already. Fabric paints aren't cheap! I insisted I pay him for drawing my second labcoat (got a new one with the $20 co-op voucher Jack gave me) but he absolutely refused. Sigh. Anyways.
It's simply too pleasant, too comforting to lean against him, with his arm gently around me, my face in his neck, breathing in the scent of his skin and feeling, for the moment at least, very safe and cared for. And that everything will be alright, that tomorrow will be a better day. Then comes the big big BUT. "Of course, people fall in love all the time with someone who's not their "type," and many times wind up very happily married. But if someone marries their fantasy mate, they're not just in love, they're satisfied that their quest for a mate has come to a perfect end." (from loveadvice.com)
Thing is, he just isn't my fantasy mate. Not quite, anyways... It sounds terribly mean, but I guess it just depends on how much I'm willing to "overlook"...
Tuesday, April 1, 200309:58 p.m.
Schools out for us NP people, *grin* It couldn't have come at a better time too, partner and I have been working frantically on the second draft for hours on end! I've finished the new set of Results and Discussion, rewrote the Materials & Methods, and added on to the Conclusion. Partner added about 1500 words to the Introduction, we just have the touching up left. And while it's good we have a three day break, it also sucks because I stayed up till 3 am last night, frantically flipping through my logbook, comparing gel photos and stuff. Sheesh, now we don't have to hand it in till school reopens. But I'm GLAD there's a break though, I can relax at home, go out and meet friends, and just indulge in me-time. Terribly deprived of that, I am! (:
Everyone thought it was an April Fools joke though, no one believed Dr Forday called Yongyi to pass the message along! I wouldn't have believed him either, only I was in school when they announced it on air. Today was rather joke flat, the only time I got tricked was when Gerard sent me the picture message that was fixed at the "Opening" screen; I thought my phone hung or something. Haha, waited for a few minutes and nearly restarted my phone, till I wised up. There were the usual "there's a test tomorrow" jokes, Kenji spear-headed the first one. And I think that was about it, though Kane opened this candy box filled with fried beetles (yes you read it correctly) and told me he'd been eating it the whole day. When I squirmed and (very verbally) expressed my disgust, he laughed and said it was a joke! And I believed him, was so relieved it wasn't true. Till he laughed even more manically and admitted it wasn't a joke after all. *smacks head* That boy huh, is seriously gross. q:
But sigh, this SARS thing is starting to scare me. I mean, it could happen to anyone of us. Fatality rate isn't high, but that's not the point. Everyone's scared, everyone's freaking out, my mom repeatedly disinfects the home phones and force feeds us green bean soup made with black sugar. While I think that taking the necessary precautions are important, too many people go overboard with their paranoia, becoming hypochondriacs. But I suppose it's understandable... Everyone's scared.
Monday, March 31, 200309:52 p.m.
Okay, instead of coming up with another set of reasons why our experiments were so incredibly unreproducible and/ or not working properly, I just spent the past hour uploading all the photos, from K's gig to the concert on the 29th. I've really been procrastinating, can you tell? Don't want to get started, can't bear to get started...
Unfortunately, I need to get started though, and sooner's better than later. Alright, here they are! Have fun! *skulks back to her desk, where piles upon piles of paper are scattered all over*
Sunday, March 30, 200310:05 p.m.
Sigh. I'm dreadfully tired. And I wonder how many entries I've written in the what, past few weeks that echo that sentiment, but it's the truth. It just seems so pointless, you know. I feel as though I'm on a treadmill, going faster and faster as the wheels speed by. I'm tripping over my feet, fumbling over the steps I take, which are also becoming less sure and more hesitant...
The world's passing me by. Things, of much greater importance than the current pathetic state of my second draft and the ultra confusing love life (think tangled webs), are happening everywhere, most of them bad. It's sad, so sad, it's a sad, sad situation...
And it's getting more and more absurd.
Sunday, March 30, 200301:13 a.m.
Got back a while ago from supper with my friends. The concert was, despite the blunders we all made, really a memorable experience. It was so good, the comradeship and laughter we shared. Especially when we made mistakes and tried to pretend it was written in the actual score. q: And how Shaun, Sam and I would inadvertantly hold the note a fraction too long, or come in just a little bit early. And how we're shoot one another indignant and "innocently wronged" looks. I'll miss these bunch of people ever so much! Joy, Shaun, Sam; Linette and June too, who weren't around to play with us. Not to mention the rest of the people, those who aren't good enough friends to hang out with, but friends nonetheless. I guess I'll miss Shaun the most during this month's break (for exams), I know I'll be keeping in touch with Joy and Sam pretty often. But Shaun and I only get to talk during band practices, and he's one of the rare few guys that totally *get* what I mean. So. Tis a pity about his girlfriend, but at least we're on the same wavelength, at least I have someone to smirk with. q:
Took many photos, they'll be up soon. I'll miss them dreadfully, especially when I leave for Australia. Sigh. I really wish all things good needn't come to an end.
Saturday, March 29, 200312:22 a.m.
Gosh, I'm glad I didn't have to follow partner to NUS. Am doubly happy she's more "automatic" now. (: I feel so much more relieved, perhaps I ought to take down the second last entry. Anyways, scanned and tabulated the new results, redid a bit of the old one too. Not bad, even if I say so myself. *grin* Tomorrow's gonna be a long day, the concert's at night. And I've got to go for this crap community development thing in the morning, we're taking a trip to the Singapore History Museum. And I was there just 2 months ago, with K and Xiulan. Rushing home to bathe and stuff, then it's off to Toa Payoh to get in some last minute practicing with Sam. I'm worried he won't be able to play after all, his dad is toally against the idea of him taking part, but he'll be playing Second to help me out. It'll be my last performance, for quite a while at least, so I really hope it'll be memorable. I know it's too much to hope it'll be good because judging from the way things have been going, and the crap acoustics, I don't think it'd be that fantastic. But at the very least, I hope it'd be an experience to cherish and remember. (:
Oh. Both K's are going. I also hope they won't see each other!
Friday, March 28, 200312:25 a.m.
Okay, I take back some of what I said about my partner. At least she's helping more with the second draft of the report, and volunteering to help with the Methods, instead of waiting for me to ask. It's about time too, I did about 75% of the first draft!
Thursday, March 27, 200309:37 p.m.
I really don't know how much longer I can take this lack of physical and mental rest, honestly I don't. And I'm also rather disgruntled, I feel my partner isn't pulling her weight with regards to the project. I can honestly say that I've done about 70% of the lab work ever since we started, taking into account she had to go back to Australia for three weeks last November. And for the past few weeks, when we've been permenantly parked in Eric's lab, I've done most of the actual work, setting up the PCRs, casting gels, etc; while all she does is fetch reagents/ tips/ tubes, preparing the stuff for me to use. It's not that she's not capable, she is! She can be efficient and thorough; quick, too. But more often than not, she dillydallies and talks to people she bumps into; joking and exchanging gossip. That completely pisses me off. I mean, I know she doesn't want to do anymore work, she's as sick of the project as I am. BUT WE'VE GOT TO DO IT, no choice in that matter. And she knows that, she agrees we might as well do a good job while we're at it. It really seems as though she thinks I'll do the dirty hard work because I seem to be the more motivated one. But I'm only like this because she isn't! And someone's got to be the Voice of Reason, or we'll both end up throwing our hands into the air and giving up.
Gah. I've really had it up to *here* with the way she loiters and wastes our precious precious time. She doesn't have to talk quite so much, does she? I see friends working in the adjacent labs every hour, every minute, even. And I say smile, say hello, grin, etcetra. But I move on immediately and carry on with whatever I set out to do. While she doesn't! Which is why, instead of "letting" her do the main work, I've been doing it myself. I start, AND FINISH twice the amount of things she does, in the same time she takes to do it!! Not because I'm more capable or whatever, it's just because I don't believe in wasting more time than we already have. We're cutting things very very close as it is, and dawdling simply isn't a luxury either of us can afford. I wish she'd co-operate! She also claims to have no energy, but she can chitter ever so energetically. I feel like saying something extremely uncharitable over here but I shall refrain. I feel mean enough as it already is. But. I'm so much more busy than she is too, I've had band practice last night, right away after another 10 hours in school. They're having an emergency band practice tonight but I really couldn't attend because I've got to scan in all the gel photos of the new set of experiments we've done; PLUS rearrange the entire format of the report.
ARGH. The fact my supervisor still thinks she's the one contributing more is like a slap in my face. Like, get real!
Wednesday, March 26, 200302:01a.m.
After spending an inordinately long time (like the past 3 hours or more!) on the excel graphs, calculations, answers and what not, I've nearly completed the Bioprocess prac report due tomorrow. It was a horribly tiring day. Reached school at 7:30, rushed through my flow chart that was due at 8am, then we were juggling a practical and some experiments. Stayed in the lab till 7pm, and I had CF after that. I feel so bad, really, that I exactly can't fufill my "duty" and "responsibility" as an ex-co member over there. But everything's taking up so much time, something's simply got to give.
I just hope it's not gonna be me.
Monday, March 24, 200311:35 p.m.
I'm so bloody tired; and thoroughly SICK of my project. I've never come so close to throwing in the towel as I did just now, when our supervisor returned us our first drafts. Partner and I were on the verge of chucking the papers back at her, telling her bye! Seeya next year or something, cos we're not gonna take anymore of this shit! ARGH. She's totally irrational. And untrustworthy, to boot! She cancelled out like ~3000 worth of words, crossed out half our Introduction because she said we didn't quite have to elaborate so much on PCR (which I guess I agree, but we were desperate!). And she chewed us out for following the standard way of writing our Materials & Methods, said it was unprofessional and "kiddy". She was even whining, as in, whining. *rolls eyes* Made us 15 minutes late for our lecture too, she knew we had a lesson but kept complaining about the kiddy way we did things.
AND. She assured us we could do our experiments right up till the day before the external examination (end of May), so time wouldn't be the limiting factor. And we believed her. But now, she tells us we absolutely have to, by hook or by crook, cough up the final draft, including ALL the experimental data, by mid April. *sputters in indignation* The crowning insult was when she asked us to complete the second draft by this Friday, changing the entire format of the report, coming up with an additional 3000 words to replace those she deleted. Partner and I were like, that's totally unreasonable! If she'd given us our report back last Thursday like she promised she would, we would have the whole of Friday to dig up the journals we need from NUS. And she had the cheek to say she needed the weekend to read through the report. Well hello, duh, we need the weekend to WRITE the report okay. We actually have other lessons and assignments to do!
Bah. I shan't go on anymore; I'll only get madder and bore you all to tears. But I'm thoroughly pissed! At least she agreed to let us hand it in on Monday instead. Grrrr.
