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(Friday, November 1, 2002) (1:06 a.m.) I absolutely absolutely cannot bring myself to believe that 20 marks (out of 50) were devoted to penicillin-related questions. I only read through that chapter ONCE a few days ago. And half-heartedly flipped through it again on the way to school this morning. And 40% of the marks came from it! I've already definitely lost 6 marks from questions that I totally answered incorrectly. Quite a few of my other answers are phrased in my own words, based on my own understanding, so I guess my grade really depends on how flexible Dr Koh is with the marking. I mean, if he decides to be strict and aliquot points based on how precise (and letter perfect) our answers are, I'm dead. And I feel so cheated and upset... I concentrated on everything else, really focused on the things that I thought were important (and he also highlighted those points!). Only to have questions on, what, penicillin? I almost cried when I saw the exam paper. Scratch that, I felt like throttling Dr Koh! He emphasized so much on the conformations/ reactions and drug-protein interactions so we spent such a long time going through textbooks and stuff. Just so we could understand everything. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret putting in the extra effort because I think that subject is interesting (I'm sort of considering a major in Drug Discovery but I figure it'd be too specialized, *lol*). But I guess I really feel cheated because; although I would have been interested in finding out more regardless of whether it was examinable or not, I wouldn't have taken the trouble to memorise most of the stuff so I would remember it if/ when it came out for the exam! And I honestly don't know what grade to expect because he's got all our results with him. Sigh. I'd love an A, who wouldn't? And I guess I feel like I've put in enough effort for that. But I'll steel myself to expect a B so I won't get too disappointed. Anyways. We had lotsa fun after that. I didn't meet the CFers, though I bumped into them in Marina Square and Esplanade. (They were accusing me of ditching them and choosing my classmates over them!) Ate like PIGS at the Breeks outlet, we must have had 4 helpings each? The salmon and potato salad and butter fish and mushrooms and cheesecake was really good though. Though I was left with 55 cents after the whole dinner! We headed down to the Esplanade after that and watched the boats cruise by... A huge and almost unbearable wave of longing (no pun intended) swept over me, and I suddenly felt alone. More alone than I've ever been. (Thursday, October 31, 2002) (10:50 a.m.) I'm ecstatic! The exams are over!!! Well... Almost, anyways. *lol* I just hope I'll remember everything I studied. And that my common-sense answers will convince Dr Koh that I actually know what I'm talking about. q: (Wednesday, October 30, 2002) (07:56 p.m.) Ahhhh, I had an unpleasant fright a few hours ago! Xiulan sms'ed to ask why I didn't go for the DDD exam. Uh, I thought it was a joke and told her not to try scaring me cos it wouldn't work. Then Jack called, sounding really panicky. Asking what happened to make me skip such an important paper. Righhht. I was starting to feel a teeny bit worried till I recalled that Grace just phoned and didn't mention anything unusual. Also remembered that Lianne and I were happily icq-ing away in the morning. When I mentioned that, he was like, no wonder they weren't there as well! How come you guys didn't see the change in date? It was written on the whiteboard after yesterday's exam! Everyone else came for the DDD paper today! *cue panic attack* And I believed them. Geez! After much don't-worry-we-were-joking and all, I managed to calm down sufficiently enough to start laughing my head off (in sweet relief, not hysterical terror). Turns out they were sick of studying and decided to pull a fast one - on me - because they reckoned I would be the only one silly enough to believe them. Ppffft. Anyways, I was equally sick of looking at how drugs are made, and suggested playing that trick on Lianne. Didn't work that well though, she totally fell for it. And wasn't too happy when I confessed. Erp. It was really hilarious while it lasted, and I suppose it really shows how bored we were. Sigh. Back to my notes. (Wednesday, October 30, 2002) (1:26 p.m.) I've been online the entire morning, and I only memorised the first (and easiest) chapter of DDD! ARGH. I am SO dead! I am SO DEAD! And I realised I forgot almost everything I previously understood! I'm so confused with organic chemistry now. Polar molecules. Like, why is carbon-fluorine polar but hydrophobic at the same time? It doesn't make sense! Almost nothing makes sense! My brain has warned that it'll disown me if I force it to memorise again. Nothing more can go in, not after cGMP! *runs around and screams hysterically* Why couldn't we have had Genomics tomorrow instead? I would be able to relax and laze around because I know Genomics. I wish I could say the same for DDD! (Tuesday, October 29, 2002) (06:30 p.m.) I was this close to taking out my cGMP notes, ripping them into tiny shreds, and tossing them out of the second level of the 154 bus just now. *lol* But I figured it wouldn't be very civic minded of me, and we all know what a model citizen I am. Heh. I'm just so glad the exam's over! And I think an A is in the offing, too. :D It was the paper I dreaded the most because of all the memorising we had to do. I mean, I never do particularly well in such subjects as I can never remember that much. But thank God I managed to do it this time, hee! Now I don't feel like torturing my notes anymore because I figured its not their fault. I mean, it's just their bad luck to have such crap printed on them; they certainly didn't ask for it! I know I'm sounding rather delirious, but I'm just SO relieved and relieved it's unbelievable. My sis also thinks I've gone off my rocker. After listening to me plotting the gruesome death of my notes for the 286th time, she asked me (very seriously) whether I was aware that they were inanimate objects that wouldn't be capable of feeling pain. Geez. I'm happy, can you tell? :D (Tuesday, October 29, 2002) (11:27 a.m.) Oh wow, I'm off to school to get tofu from the Vegeterian stall. Yum! And yea, I've got to sit for the cGMP exam too. I've crammed in everything I can hold and I wouldn't be surprised if useless facts started dribbling out from my orifices. *lol* My brain's gotten so saturated that I've had to resort to visually photostating my notes into my mind. Like, there are 6 powerpoint slides to a page, and the pages are double sided. So I mentally make a photograph of each page. If you know what I mean. ;D This method usually works quite well but lasts for only a few hours or so. The only serious drawback is that the pictures are usually blurred and I only remmeber where the heading of each fact is located, forgetting all the subpoints under it because the words are too tiny to be seen clearly.
Argh. I should stop rambling on about this rubbish already! (Monday, October 28, 2002) (10:40 p.m.) Apart from some minor mistakes here and there, Genomics was relatively okay. Thank God I more or less have an A, because IL-1 is pretty much a definate B. (Damn the stupid practical exam, Dr Gandhi said I got about 30 out of 98!) I'm taking a break from cGMP because I'm too sleepy... And my brain has had about enough memorising already. I honestly feel like giving up and going to bed, because I'm not getting much in at this rate! Besides, I can only recall about 50% of what I half-heartedly memorised a few days ago. Bad, bad bad. Thanks for the gift, Doreen; for getting it and remembering my birthday! It's so so sweet of you to send me the 2nd Obernewyton book! I really appreciate the thought. (: I think I ought to remove my nail polish. I was getting strange puzzled looks from Sean (I always sit beside him for exams, ever since Year 1) and the balding examiners, haha. Dr Gandhi is so warm and motherly and sweet and comforting and understanding! :D While cGMP sucks so badly! P.S. Pardon all the school talk, the exams aren't all that I'm concerned about right this moment. In fact, a lot more things are going on in my mind now (going round and around in big loopy circles), but I don't have the time to phrase and organise them into a coherent and logical manner. Even for myself. Which is why I can't really concentrate and focus properly on studying because everything's just on fast forward and/or re-run. I'll elaborate more later, I promise. Can't get you out of my head... (Monday, October 28, 2002) (12:19 a.m.) I'm about to leave my home for the Genomics exam. I think I'm pretty well prepared for this paper. Strangely, I don't feel scared or nervous. Of course, this languid attitude could undergo a 180 degree transformation once I actually see the questions. Heh. (Sunday, October 27, 2002) (08:49 p.m.) Didn't do anything except go through Genomics, but I can't exactly be bothered. I haven't even come close to finishing the memorising but honestly, I'm leaving that to tomorrow. *lol* Because I already understand almost everything la, the rest has to go into my extra-short term memory; and I know won't last if I do it tonight. So the facts will just have to wait till it's 3 hours prior the exam before I frantically cram them in. Oh, not forgetting the hour long bus ride to school too, heh. I kid you not, I can get quite a lot done during that short time frame. Excuse the poor grammar, I'm on Chapter 28 of "Jewel of the Nile" already! Bleh. I'm just vaguely worried for cGMP though. I can't remember most of what I memorised. And lets not get started on DDD. Shucks. I wish the exams were over. Though I'd only have the St John Island camp to look forward to once that's over. While my mom and sis are going to Germany! And Switzerland! And Paris, after that! For two whole weeks! Without me! Because of the stupid stupid stupiddddd compulsory AND graded Bioinformatics module we have to do that happens to fall right smack in between. ARGH. My dad can't take that much leave either, so it'll just be me and him taking care of each other. But I wanna go! I don't mind missing out on Paris that much, but I wanna visit Switzerland! Lake Geneva! AHHHHH I'm so jealous I could cry. I mean, The Alps. Bleh. (Saturday, October 26, 2002) (09:14 p.m.) Know what I did the entire day? Gene therapy, human genome project, genetically modified organisms and forensic science. They account for less than half of my Genetics notes altogether. The exam is on Monday. Shhhhit. I spent most of my time wandering around the house nibbling on digestive biscuits and mint After Eights, checking my mail every two hours or so, plucking at my hair, panicking over the phone with Lianne, bopping to songs on the radio, etcetra etcetra. Oh yea, I also nominated Dr Kueh, Dr Koh, Dr Gandhi and Dr Zaman for the Teaching Award. May do a couple more since it's the last chance I'll get to "anonyomously appreciate" them! I just hope the lecturers themselves don't know who voted for them/ what we wrote in the forms cos it's nicer if they don't know. Heh. Anyways. I am so in trouble its not funny anymore. I don't even feel that worried because reality hasn't sunk in yet. (Friday, October 25, 2002) (10:31 p.m.) Oh NO! I still have Inspections & Audits and Documentations & Records to do before I sleep! Spent the past few hours scolding Yongyi. He's such an idiot! He gave WT my handphone number a week ago, and I scolded him well and truly for it, forgiving him when he said he wouldn't do such a thing again. And now he goes and gives him my ICQ uin! Thank God people have to get my authorization before becoming on my list/ they can add me to theirs, so I rejected his request, along with a bunch of other weirdos that didn't identify themselves. Cheryl, I didn't know one of them was yours. Auth me! I guess the part that really got to me was how he kept on glossing things over, talking all sorts of stupid crap, trying to charm himself back into my good books. I mean, his apology wasn't exactly sincere either! Bleh I don't trust him that much anymore. I was so exasperated that Xiulan stepped into the picture and set up a chatroom where the both of us ticked him off. And he laughed! And laughed! That silly little idiot! Anyways. I was so bored today I painted all my nails a putrid pink. Gross. I think I'll keep them on to make a sensation on Monday (since I always wear soft pink/ clear gloss). Haha. (Friday, October 25, 2002) (06:25 p.m.) I solemnly promise all of you that I will complete, by today, ARGH. I swear I'll sadistically torment my cGMP notes and make them die a gruesome painful death when the exam ends. I know I said the same thing for Organic Chem and Analytical Biochem and Aquaculture, but I mean it this time! I've had enough!!! (Thursday, October 24, 2002) (10:58 p.m.) I am so tired. Didn't get the chance to update last night because I got home very late from BS (yes, I finally went for it after one month's absence. Don't ask why). And despite spending the entire day in school -again-, I didn't get much work done! Only went through DDD with a fine-toothed comb. Ha, Grace will do the emailing this time because I've already emailed Dr Koh too often, lol. I think our lecturers are getting sick of the way we ask them stuff... But well, I like this type of studying because it's a lot more independant based now. Like, we'll supplement our meagre notes with stuff from textbooks because we're interested. I'm speaking for myself and a few friends though, hee. I'm completely breaking out! And gaining weight too! From all the horrible junk food we've been eating in the Library Cafe. I mean, I haven't had a single meal with the required vitamins minerals proteins fiber for the past week or two. It's just chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate. And chips. And the cheap but good $1 hot-dog buns too. Yummy! I feel terribly unhealthy. But as we've reasoned with our consciences, it's the exams, and we're justified! :D Anyways. Kevin actually thinks I'm feminine. Soft-spoken. And demure! I nearly ruined his impression of me when I almost snorted in disbelief. Me? Demure? Soft-spoken? It really makes me wonder, the kind of impression I give people now. Haha, I think my classmates had a rude shock when they came back from the attachment to see a girly me. And I guess they had a hard time readjusting. Especially the guys, heh. I mean, they used to think of me as a hard-core tomboy. "Rival" even, when it came to being outspoken and opinionated. But now? Whee. I can't speak for them because I'm not a guy; but if I were, I think I'd be really really... *ahem* confused. Not to mention disorientated. It's like seeing someone in an entirely different light, you know. Or it could just be my ego shooting off in random directions. Ignore me. (: I sometimes wish I could remain stagnant. Or at least not portray a different image to different people. It takes a lot of getting used to, and it's tiring to get reaquainted with my new self all over again! Especially when I don't realise I've changed until people/ strangers point it out. But I suppose it's a lot better than being in a rut. At least I'm interesting. Ha. Okay, I'm going to sleep. My eyes are bloodshot and they're aching like mad. (Tuesday, October 22, 2002) (09:03 p.m.) Ended up not going to school because I felt too lazy. I didn't do anything today! Spent the entire morning finishing the Wally Lamb book, and I made the mistake of starting a new HP fanfic series after that. It's Snape/Hermione/ Draco this time around, and there are 71 chapters! And I already finished 30 of them. Help! Will be going to school early tomorrow. Was supposed to meet Grace for some serious studying but Limin and Michelle wanted help with Genomics, especially with the restriction maps. So they're joining us. And Xiulan wants to borrow my Drug Discovery notes cos she didn't exactly pay attention during the lectures. Grrrr. I mean, apart from listening to Dr Koh, Lianne Peiyi and I also went to a lot of trouble to source for additional information to supplement his notes. And she wants them! Just like that! Would it be terribly selfish of me to refuse? I mean, I don't mind lending her the lecture notes (though she should have gotten them from me WAY earlier, like last week or something!), cos she would have had them anyway if she had paid attention. But there's quite a lot of additional stuff written in there too. But she's a good friend... And honestly, I don't mind helping my classmates, especially those who sincerely need it. I want to help! But damn, they should have asked earlier... I mean, I also need to study. Especially since I didn't do any revision today! Argh. To be, or not to be? (Tuesday, October 22, 2002) (09:26 a.m.) Man, I should be studying instead of customising a new layout. But I really like this, it's so subtly pretty and greyed, isn't it? (: You should check out the Archives cos I added an entry late last night. Heh. And my hands refuse to stop turning the pages of "She's come undone" by Wally Lamb. I've already read it umpteen times and I really ought to find some other good book. Other than Harry Potter, lol. No no, I should be going through Drug Discovery! Going to meet Kevin and Xiulan for dinner later. Till then. |
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