|
( Serenity ) |
Friday, January 24, 2003 Just got back a while ago from Chinatown and stuff. It was like seeing a whole new part of Singapore that I never knew existed. I mean, I've lived here my whole life, and never knew of the shophouses; never seen the Chinese part of my heritage; never truly appreciated the ancient and rich culture... I never really was proud of being Chinese. If you know what I mean. Ahh anyways, we had fun. And I got me my dress! *beams widely* Managed to find it at the Metro in Marina Square. But now when I look at myself in it, I'm having second thoughts.. Oops. But it's too late, and ahh, I wanted it so badly. Didn't get much chance to take more photos cos of the crowds, but the rest are all here. I hope I'm not making a mistake by putting the url up. I'm not an exhibitionist lah, I don't really like knowing that now, all of you will be able to place a picture to the person behind the words. Hmmm. Whatever, I guess. Nearly all of my real life friends still don't know this address though, and I fervently hope it remains that way! I'm so much more liberated and uhinhibited now that I don't have to choose words and edit like crazy in order to spare specific people's feelings. (; Friday, January 24, 2003 Ooh, remind me never to drink vodka and beer in 1 hour. I wasn't drunk though, no, not that easily. Just felt the slightest bit woozyish in the head. And I didn't even like that. Can't understand why people actually get themselves knocked out on a regular basis, puking all over everywhere, losing control of their faculties, generally looking like an idiot. Anyways. The MTV launch party was... Dumb? Lame? You didn't miss much, don't worry! But thanks to Jo for the tix anyways, getting free drinks was good enough. q: And it was pretty much an enlightening experience, I must say. Looking nonchalant and cool and blasé. *lol* And no one was the wiser! Yesterday was fun, Kane and I conspired to dress alike. In navy blue tees and huge baggy jeans. The very same jeans that haven't seen the light of day since end of Year 1? Ha, my mom nearly freaked when I left the house in the morning. It was such a surreal experience though, wearing what I used to wear on a regular basis once again. I mean, I'm so much more of a girly girl now, with skirts and all. It was queer and weird, I felt like such a poser and couldn't wait to get out of them! Although a small part of me was quietly relishing the chance to be chor lor all over again. *grin* And a bunch of us brought cameras, so we had great fun taking photos during the Hybridoma Tech practical! Suffice to say, we didn't exactly contribute much to it, but seeing how it was about injecting mice anyways, I figure it's justified. I already uploaded the photos, maybe I'll provide a link or something. To sidetrack though, I am in such deep trouble with my work. It's only the 3rd week of school, and I'm already falling pretty far behind on almost everything. Don't know what's going on in two whole chapters of Proteomics (and the chapters are long hefty ones!) because we've been passing notes and eating chocolate during lectures. Granted, we have more free time than the others because we haven't been working on our project for the past two weeks. Because we still haven't heard from our collaborator at the Changi General Hospital. *grumble* And I'm so slack I didn't even know about the weekly quizes we started having during each Hybridoma practical. Ah, this is bad! I really chose the wrong time to be in such a whatever-ish frame of mind. Going to chinatown with friends to 'chou chou re nao', heh. Which reminds me to watch the telecast of MAAs, two of my lecturers are actually gonna be in the mosh pit! Happening eh? Still can't believe people pay $260 for tickets though! Makes me wish I had some, I'd sell them as quick as a flash. Alrighty, shall stop rambling, I'm going to get some breakfast. Wednesday, January 22, 2003 For now I'll have to wait Tuesday, January 21, 2003 I am all kinds of pissed. Remember the dress I wanted to get? Well, I went back today and they didn't have it in my size. I was so bloody upset because I really really love it so! The whole shopping trip went downhill from then on. Lianne came along without intenting to buy anything and ended up getting a top from Miss Selfridge, a pullover, yada yada. I went home empty handed (other than some miniature mascara). I know it sounds trival and stupid, I know I'm being materialistic and/or bimbostic. But I left school psyched up to buy stuff, wired and geared to spend money. And I couldn't find a single thing I really liked (trust me, I was getting desperate towards the end). ARGH. Of all the times it had to happen, it had to happen now! When whenever I go out, I can always find something I like badly enough to really want it. There's nothing worse than having one's hopes dashed. Even when it comes to something as superficial/ petty as shopping. I haven't heard from him since Sunday (I can picture you all rolling your eyes already!). Every time my phone beeps, my fingers almost tremble as I reach for it. Hoping it's him. And knowing (inevitably) that it isn't, that it won't be; that there's no reason for it to be... I don't want to see him. I want him to want to see me. Sunday, January 19, 2003 And that laugh, that laugh that wrinkles your funny nose He's got the Sunday, January 19, 2003 Ohhkay. I'm officially in an emotional disarray. There's this guy (like there always is). He's got many friends who are girls, too many to count. And most of them fall for him like water cascading down a cliff, because he knows how to treat them the way they want to be treated. I know this sounds incredibly smarmy and slick, perhaps he is like that - to a certain extent. But he's fundamentally a nice person with a good heart and good intentions. After much psycho-analysing (thanks to certain friends, you know who you are), we agreed that the way he treats the average girl would cause them to think that he was interested. When he's, when all's said and done, just being a very nice guy. Hm. My point being... He's used to having any girl he wants (and a whole hoard of others he doesn't). Now, for the interesting part. I don't want to be another one of his many 'conquests'. I don't want to want him if he won't want me back. I'm not about to put myself on the foot-long list of girls who like him. I know I'm giving you the impression that he's a playboy, a jerk who doesn't give a hoot about the feelings of those who fell for him. But I (and the aforementioned friends) think it's unintentional. We don't believe he's deliberately cruel, we don't believe he's into heartlessly playing the field. He simply enjoys the company the opposite sex provides, that's all. And happens to get along incredibly well with them. Nothing will happen; I'll probably be going away soon. And he's not out to commit at this moment, he just wants to have fun (and hasn't found the right one yet). Which, I suppose, isn't so wrong, is that? Maybe in the future. We'll just have fun now, we'll continue having fun as friends do. (; I guess I shouldn't want more... Saturday, January 18, 2003 So, don't try to run Saturday, January 18, 2003 I don't like playing mind games with him. And guys should never ever make girls fall for them if they have no intention of catching them or breaking their fall. It's cruelty, plain and simple. But in the end he needs a little bit |
 |
 |
|
|
Dear box,
|
|
|
|
|