Sunday, February 23, 200310:26 p.m.
I've been trying to pin down what it is that attracts me to him. He's not really extraordinarily caring, nor is he particularly considerate and gentlemanly, neither is he very sweet and thoughtful (Kane has all five qualities in excessive abunance), but I still feel very much taken care of when I'm with him. It sounds superficial, stupid even, but he knows what to order and brings me to little out-of-the-way places that I've never seen before. He makes me laugh with his comical face and gestures and makes me feel like a woman because he knows how to dress like a man and looks like one. He pays for me most of the time despite my protests, he gets the attention of the waiters the first time around, he gives good recommendations. He's adept in social situations and well, to put it very very very shallowly, he's not someone I'm ashamed to be seen with. He almost always starts our conversations too (you've no idea what a relief it is to be given a break off this one!). He isn't a very good friend, I don't quite think he'd be the first person I'd turn to in case of a mishap because I sort of feel he's still a tad too self-centered, he's still a semi-boy out to have fun. But seriously, he gets my point, we laugh at the same things, I can *so* see where he's coming from when he shares stuff. And vice versa!
Last night, just before we zoomed away from S.Gardens,K: Why don't you hold my waist instead?Me: (Thought I heard wrongly or mistook his meaning) Huh? K: Never mind...
And to quote the irrepressible Lianne, "Doh! Doh doh doh! SARAH!!!" I know, I know! I just hope there'll be other opportunities. q:
Sunday, February 23, 20031:05 a.m.
It's been a frenetially busy day. Met WJ to swim in the morning, only we ended up alternating between tanning our backs and fronts, talking all the way. I'll miss her terribly when she goes back. And yes Denise, she told me about meeting you. (: I'm going to resemble a tomato again, everyone's already asking if I applied blusher this afternoon! Anyways, rushed to school for open house duty and had so many LSCT people mistake me for a potential freshie. Seriously, do I look 16? We had quite a bit of fun, I bet we scared half the people away though; there were so many of us armed with pamphlets and determined grins! Rushed down (again) for band practice. "Bands around the world" was good, I can't believe I still remember every note from PL days! q: But sightreading "Jubilee Overture" was a complete nightmare. The timing kept on switching between 3/8 2/4 3/4 and 4/4, with the occassional 5/4 thrown in for good measure. *throws hands into air* The worst part was when Kaiyi plopped down beside me. I could have shriveled up from the humiliation! That does it, I really need to practice.
Went down to watch Eugene and gang perform for the JamX finals. And then got back a while ago from meeting K (yes, he didn't disappoint me). We had fun, like we always do. The best part of my day was the hour long bike ride from Serangoon Gardens to Yishun, via Seletar Reservior/ Jalan Kayu, and all the way back again. It was complete and total bliss. The scent of Hugo Boss mixed with exhaust was, I'm surprised (and a little embarrassed) to admit, a major turn-on. Sigh. Why do I find him more and more appealing as the days go by?
You light me up, and I fall for you...
Saturday, February 22, 200312:54 a.m.
We spent 8 hours in the library today and tried to study, I (finally) managed to finish reading through the Proteomics notes. Still a long way to go before I'm anyway prepared for the test, I'm *so* dead! So many questions and doubts, plus, her notes are crappy. No offence meant or anything, but seriously. I don't know where everything fits in, and as a result, I can't seem to understand. I'm a big picture kind of person, so when I can't see it, I don't get it. But anyways. I met the twins in the evening and we went for Pram's dance performance. It was good, the cheoreography was excellent, even though the synchronisation wasn't exactly perfect. They danced to quite a few songs from Christina Aguilera; "Walk away" was absolutely brillant. (;
I'll be meeting him tomorrow evening after Eugene's JamX audition. If he keeps our appointment, that is. And that'll be the third time he's asked to meet this week. I don't quite know what to think, just that I don't and won't let myself hold out that much hope. Lianne's sort of in the same predicament as I am (to quote her, the parallels are getting very freaky) and we've learnt (the hard way) that it's easier not to hope too much. Lest we get sorely disappointed.
Tease me, by holding out your handThen leave me, or take me as I am...
Friday, February 21, 200312:33 a.m.
Just got back a while ago from watching "Catch me if you can". Yongyi Xiulan CK Michelle Liling Kane and I went to Bishan, it was so fun. *grin* Had nachos with gooey melted cheese, popcorn and bread from BreadTalk during the movie and had pasta afterwards. Mmmm... Anyways, oops. Everyone thinks Kane and I have got something going on. The dressing alike and sitting together during lectures didn't escape their attention then! Sigh. He picked up this orange paperclip and folded it into a cute little heart for me. It was such a sweet gesture. *melts* Though I sort of have a feeling he's starting to feel something more than friendship. ):
Anyways, the open house was incredibly stupid! Dr Teo was such a pain and insisted I stop talking and start manning the posters. When I protested that there weren't any new people around, she was like, I expect you to stand by the door and be on your guard! Practice vigilance! *rolls eyes* And then she said (to smooth things over) that I had charm, and I ought to use it to talk to the potential students. Oh goodness. And we could only leave at 5 instead of 4. Gah. Remind me not to throttle Liming and gang when I next see them; they're such selfish prats for deliberately passing us the response slip last. Effectively making sure we could only do the duty during the unwanted timeslots for BOTH today and Saturday (they were smart enough to fill in their names for the middle slots, not too early and not too late). Leaving us with the last slots, leaving us to clear up all the dirty work. Bleh!
K asked to meet up again after his lesson ended at 3. Told him I had open house duty till 4 so he went to IMM first. He later sms'ed to say it was raining and he couldn't make it, and was like, please don't be angry! Haha! Inside joke. q: Anyways... I'm glad he wanted to meet. Lianne reminded me of a while ago when I said I didn't want to see him see him. How I, well, want him to want to see me. If you get what I mean..
I swear it's not a selfish reason and I'm not playing hard to get or whatever. But yea. I guess I'm just happy tonight. (: As happy as I can be, anyways!
Thursday, February 20, 20031:47 a.m.
I really ought to stop sleeping at such late hours. The events of the day leak out of my mind and just like that, I forget the (interesting) things that happened. Very disturbing, ne! All I recall of today was waking up at 11 (talked to Michelle till 1 a.m. and then Kane called and we (or rather I) babbled till 2 plus), wanting to cook maggie mee but not having enough time to do so. Ended up eating instant cup noodles while rapidly scanning the headlines. Very anti-climatic ending to my craving for msg-soup! Rushed to school for Hybridoma practical where I hung around and didn't do much work till the last 15 minutes. Got rather pissy at a few people (the bunch of girls who are carbon copies of one another) who were so inconsiderate and selfish. Bah.
And I found out people really do think I have a boyfriend! Seriously! Kai and Hazel were asking who I spent Valentine's with, and when I said it was with friends, Kai was like, we heard you had a boyfriend? Geez, will this never end? It's getting old you know... Anyways. Went downtown and got a replacement pair of hoop earrings; they're larger than my old ones. Couldn't find the same size *bawl*. And I can't believe I lost them just like that. Had band and damn, I sucked. Think I better start practicing, and practicing soon at that. Concert's coming up in a month's time and I can't even play all the notes correctly.
I was supposed to sleep 2 hours ago. Sigh.
Tuesday, February 18, 200310:15 p.m.
He asked to meet up, it's been a couple of weeks since we last met on a regular basis (more than just Sundays'); so he met Lianne and I at the Library Cafe as we were attempting to study. Mentioned that he thought of bringing me to Mount Faber on Valentine's but figured I'd have other plans. *slaps forehead in exasperation* Besides, he had also made plans to hang out with his guy buddies. Doh! But he said I looked good today! *melts* I can carry off pink, I can. Here are the photos to prove my point! q: And the Valentines' as well! I forgot everything else I wanted to say, but yea. At the very least, we're friends. (: Although that makes it much harder to bear, always wanting more to happen, I suppose that's better than having nothing... Sigh. If only he weren't well, adorable. And likeable. And if only we weren't so compatible. If only Kane and he were a mixture, if only Kane and I were more on the same wavelength and came from backgrounds that were more similar...
And that laugh, that laugh that wrinkles your funny noseIt touches my foolish heart...
Monday, February 17, 200310:24 p.m.
Today started off rather horribly. Burned a CD in the morning and was late in leaving for animal duty. The bus I got onto broke down one stop after I got up. Was late for lectures and my friend did my share of changing the sawdust. Reached school only to discover I forgot to bring my wallet and pencil case, but did remember to put my discman and 3 CDs in my bag. *grin* Priorities, dears! And Huang Yan jolted us out of our happy nonchalant daze when she told us about the common test coming up. *groan* Then it started pouring and I got so cold... But the LSSS lecture on Developmental Biology was surprisingly interesting, it was the first one I actually paid attention to. Wasn't feeling too well, didn't go for CF and Kane sent me back instead.
*sniffle* Recieved UQ's conditional offer today. I'm very very confused. Somehow, I don't think I'm mentally prepared to leave everything behind just yet.
