Love, me

Thursday, May 15, 2003
11:52 p.m.

Met WL in the morning for breakfast, she lent me her heels and her Topshop card. Which we put to full use, Lianne got loadsa stuff from Dorothy Perkins, and so did Peiyi! Met John after that for coffee, seems he still wants my semi-functioning PDA, which is good cos I'm in desperate need of cash. q: Walked all over town again with those two girls, met Kane, got a small purse... Been a busy, busy day. Went to Lianne's place after that and we worked on our makeup and she did my nails. Sigh! Kane booked two rooms at the Mandarin and quite a few people will be crashing over after it ends. I just hope we won't have problems getting in, heard security's pretty tight and they only allow two to a room! And they're definitely gonna smell a rat once they see groups of people similarly dressed, all of the same age, making their slow (two-by-two) way into the hotel at about the same time. Other people who aren't going for the D&D will also be coming down to join us, either when we club or after that. So.. Gee. It's gonna be tough, pulling it off!

Anyways. I'm hurt. I don't quite know what's up with me recently, it seems as though I'm alot more volatile and emotional. Crying at almost every vaguely upsetting thing I read/ see. I mean, I always had a pretty good rein on my feelings. It's kinda freaky how that's gone, now.

Wednesday, May 14, 2003
11:59 p.m.

It's over. Presentation was much, much better than the internal one, and for that, I'm devoutly grateful. Though he asked a lot more questions on the introduction and the background of our bacteria, so partner answered most of those, even though we both read the same journals and did the same amount of last minute searching for facts. I just hope Dr Z doesn't think I know less about the project or something! But I managed to answer a couple of questions based on the results, so I hope that'd "salvage" me. Dr Z was pretty satisfied with our presentation also, yippie! *beams* With that out of the way, and us hardly daring to believe that our next main concern would be what to wear for the D&D on Friday, we went downtown to shop. I wanted to find a suitable bottom to match my maroon Dorothy Perkins top but couldn't find anything! Other than a super short MNG skirt, but I'd be too uncomfy for words! I think I'll wear the Miss Selfridge top and the FCUK skirt instead. Borrowing heels from WL, now the only thing to get is a small clutch bag! *grin* So fun! So so so fun! We did our eyebrows too, and unlike Lianne and Peiyi, I won't bother getting my hair/ nails/ makeup professionally done. Don't need that much help to look good man q:

Had dinner with Kane after that, in lieu of our one month anniversary. Haha. Sometimes, it seems like eh, only one month? Because we both feel as though we've known each other for a much longer time. And at other times, I can't believe a month has gone by that quickly. To sidetrack, the mudpies in nydc are heavenlllllly, even the pasta was fantastic. Really ought to go there more often! Alright, off to bed, it's another long tiring day tomorrow!

Wednesday, May 14, 2003
12:21 p.m.

Spent the entire day preparing for our external tomorrow morning. I promise I'll update on the more interesting stuff after all this ends, it's just been so busy. Trying to keep myself from panicking. *stomach quivers like a jelly (and no, that's not a literal description, heh)* Lianne and I are shopping for the prom tomorrow after it ends, yay, and then it's dinner with Kane. It's just so weird, having nothing school-related to do anymore. I mean, seriously. Once the external is over, it'll mark the end of my student life in NP. And that's really sad. I'll elaborate more once I've got the time to think properly. Still have to rehearse the speech again, I hope I don't bulldoze my way through and end up babbling utter crap! I'm seriously dreading the Q&A also. *heart sinks into feet*

Tuesday, May 13, 2003
02:56 a.m.

Just in case anyone's wondering, the internal examination really sucked. Dr K and Dr Z scared the shit out of the both of us, and my usually presentation-perfect partner kinda freaked out. Which was very surprising because she simply doesn't lose control of herself that easily, especially when putting on a performance for people. While we were rehearsing at her house prior the presentation, she was pretty fluent and calm; I was the one stuttering and spewing rubbish. But the two lecturers completely succeeded in demoralising us right from the start. And while I didn't quite flub my lines as badly as she did, the Q&A section was disastrous. Dr K has this way of making you feel incredibly stupid and dumb, just by looking at you, and that certainly didn't serve to encourage us! And the questions he asked were like, WHAM, right where it hurt. They were questions we had asked our supervisor lots of times previously, but never obtained satisfactory answers to. Sigh. Sigh. Had loadsa retouching to do, and I kinda just finished touching up our slides and finalising the report. I seem to be sleeping later and later, my eyes are getting dryer and grainer as the days go by.

Had CF ex-co meeting after dinner at the Soup Spoon with Shannie, and it was excruciatingly drawn out. Nearly fell asleep in the midst of all the passionate arguing over stupid trival issues, wondering how we were going to finish the 101 things we've got left before the externals on Wednesday. Met Kane for a little while after that, and somehow... Things seemed better. Problems always seem more manageable, they fade into the inconsequential background whenever he's by my side. (: And hey, it's much too late, and I'm much too tired, to really care how soppy this sounds. q:

Sunday, May 11, 2003
09:27 p.m.

Alright, just got home from aunt's place. Had this gathering in lieu of Mothers' Day and gosh, how I dislike them. Haha, didn't mean to start off the entry with a negative thing right away, but I guess I just can't see the point in meeting for the sake of meeting. But oh wells. At least the food was good! *grin* And my mom was pretty touched too, she kinda thought sister and I forgot all about her. Getting presents for her really is a pain, she doesn't like jewellery/ accessories etc, and genuinely doesn't like the idea of us spending cash on stuff she deems unnecessary. Got her these sng buey things, don't know the real name, they're the really sour/ sweet/ salty things. Haha. I had to sample all the different varieties myself, couldn't remember the type she likes! Bleh! *makes disgusted face* Got her an inspirational poster too, a small mocha cake, and compiled a CD. (: Got dad a durian crepe and made another CD for him, even my sister got a brownie. It was really wonderful, seeing the way their faces lit up when I got home. *ear splitting grin*

Anyways. I finally feel more free, now that the exams are over. Although there's still the internal (tomorrow!) and external (Wednesday, HORRORS!) to freak out over, at least all the senseless memorising and crap is over. And I can read for hours on end without having to feel guilty! And I can afford to dwell on situations I previously didn't have the time to mull over. Without having the threat of the exams constantly hovering over my head, that is. Damn, there goes all the fun. It's actally quite sad, how I get my kicks from these things. q:

But seriously, now that there's officially time to think about the really important stuff, I don't know where to start. Heck, I don't even want to start.