tml got stoopid math test. after i sign finish must faster go off liaos.

aiyo. i keep falling asleep in class. n i carn help it lorhs. no matter how i try to stay awake. i'll still fall unconscious one. really fall unconscious lorhs.

i say fall unconscious bcos i'll only noe i slept when i wake up again?

it's really tt bad. pple sitting ard me hor. very bad hor u all. alwiz make farn of me bcos of this. say i wat? PIg?! hmmph.

C: newae. the softoy pig aderin gaVe me reaLly damn cuTe. resting oN my Bed now.

go back to serious stuff. everyone reading this help me tink of way to stay awake larhs. dun wanna go see doctor like wat seejia say. i dunch tink it's TT serious yet rite. help me tink of way leh. then if try a lot of ways liaos still fall unconscious tHen i'll go see doctor.

?

hmm. i must thank buddie. shuying. gloria. & lotsatoothie. :) for the consolation in my gbk. very touched by wat u all say. i did tink thru. abt why they nv promote me. & wat yuwen said to me make sense too. tho' i carn deny there are parts i tink they missed out.. i dunno. im lost.

now i'm just hoping. really hoping i'll get promoted nex time round. it's my last chance already. i really dun wanna pass out as a coporal. really. hias.

lostatoothie. u say once i pass out i can leave all the things to the sec 3s rite. i dun tink they can handle it leh. really. me n lina just gave them a BIG scolding yesterday after activity.

not a SIngLe sign of remorse from them. it's alwiz like tt when me n lina sit down n tok to them. i really dunno lorhs. whether it's me n lina. both of us are not being good ncos.

or is it them who r closing up. hiding behind their walls built up of selfishness. of laziness. of slackness. n of lack of common sense. which r causing them to treat every single word me n lina n even the cis say like nth. like zero. like nil.

or is it actually the fault of both side?

how am i? how is my squad going to pass the unit to such a squad that is irresponsible. tt is lack of common sense. tt is lack of initiative. lack of leadership. lack of self discipline. lack of team spirit. lack of EVERYthING?!

how?

who carn help but worry?

oh no. wat will happen to our unit?

:(

im such a lousy lousy lousy lousy nco. it must b y they haf turn out to b like this.

i'm at shuying's house now. hehs. studying fer ATT test. :) sho nice to be here with squadmates.

with yuanie. gloria. & jingyi. & of cos shuying larhs.

totally crapping now. damn tired. haven really started studying fer ATT yet. sure hope i dunch fail tml. we all are polishing boots now. later then study together. tml still got drills. really gonna die.

die of tiredness.

yawnz.

hehs. went out wif my s/ms just now. joanna. weiting. buddie. seeman. serene. gloria. & yuanie. had dinner at nooch. [correct spelling?] we weren't full. then we went taka buy food. went to our usual place [the staircase] to eat. then went walking ard.

got 3 blue roses frm serene. 1 unknown flower frm joanna. 1 orangey-red rose frm gloria. hehs. both gloria & seeman gave me the moonflower perfume frm body shop. [sho xin you ling xi. according to them] the greatest is the jay chou ban tao tie he xie zhen ji & his first album [the one wif the vcd] frm jingyi. buddie. yuanie. shuying. joanna. serene. evelyn. & weiting.

dun mind me listing out everything. not trying to show off. just wanna thank them fer everything. fer today. :) it haf to be the greatest day i have sho far fer tis yr. thank you. u all haf make my day sho delightful. :) carn stop smiling.

hmm. tt time dunno who tell me. tt if my bdae falls on friday the 13th then cannot go out & play liaos. hehs. i wun care lorhs. i'll stop being superstitious fer one day & i'll pull everyone out to celebrate wif me. hehs. s/ms u all carn run away. i'll drag u all out nex yr. n the nex. n the nex. hehs. :)

counting down now. ard 1hr later it'll be the 14th already. and life will just go on as usual.

but i'll nv forget tis day. :)

tis day which i turn.16.

i forgot sth. i actually forgot! pls pardon me.

:) sho many pple sms me. to wish me happy bdae.

jingyi.seejia.hueywoon.xiumin.wanling. thanx sho much:)

extremely happy now. u noe. it's sho nice. sho heartwarming to noe tt pple care. gonna go fer a dinner later. wif my s/ms. hope all of us will enjoy.

do i haf a bdae wish? of cos haf larhs. but like they alwiz say. if u tell others ur bdae wish. it wun cum true liaos. sho. gonna keep it a secret.

& wish tt it'll cum true.

SquadMates!

hmm. wanna say sth. abt our squad outing. on the 8th June. hmm. dragonboat finals was on tt day too. s/ms did a great big job. :)

wif less than a mth to passing out. im finding every single second spent wif i all precious. too precious to lose. to waste. I LOVE you all! hias. squad outing was sho farn. sho many pple turned up. sho nan2 de2. we had sho much farn. had too much food. [thanx to joanna.seeman.evelyn.n yuwen..hehs.]

going by class..

.jasmine.regina.weiting.lijia.pingyu.jingyi.
joanna.buddie.seeman.serene.shuying.shilin.
yuanie.evelyn.yuwen.lina.gloria.janice.

i lUrVe every single one of u. mucks. hugs. dunno watta say. have gone thru sho much. too much. i tink wat i feel carn be summarized in sho little words.

just wanna say thank you. u all have given me a wonderful secondary life. w/o u all. it wldn't even be one quarter as farn. :) u all r the best.i noe. hehs. im sounding like we are parting tis very minute.but i jus carn help it. the day is drawing nearer.

let's treasure each other. fer tis las few months. cos it might be the last few mths.

tho' i hope it wun be.

hey. lostatoothie was saying y i was saying i'll give up then i suddenly xing4 zhi4 bo2 bo2 again. hehs. i din tell u all b4 is it? tt im very seriously easily influenced by tv. i tink wat seejia say is rite. films are sho successful bcos life sux and pple look fer an escape in them.

not sth to be happy abt i guess..

newae. tok abt job shadowing. i tink i've been telling my story a lot of time already. sho i shall not repeat. but i must admit i learn a lot of things. :) hmm. sorta inspired me to go n do the laser operation oso. then can dun wear specs! but guess how much. one eye ard S$2400. then both eyes will be. yes. S$2400 x 2 = S$4800. yarhs. very cheap hor.

xia4 bei4 zi3 ba!

well. jus finished wajing liu xing. :)it's such a nice show. hehs. and wat daoming si and shancai say is sho correct.

it's no use waiting. if we wan happiness. we shld go fight for it.

i'll keep tis in mind. i'll.

1 min to tml. hmm. by the time i finish typing. it would be tml.

was wajing liu xing jus now. poor shancai. hias. i dunno y. jus feeling down again. hmm. i can still remember wat shancai told huaze lei. every single word.

bcos tt's exactly wat i wanna tell her.

but.

does it even matter anymore? ive been tinking thru it. i really shldn't dwell in tis pain anymore. i noe i shldn't.

but.

everytime i manage to climb out of tis pain. the slightest thing send me falling in again. n i'll dwell. in tis pain. until the nex time when i manage to climb out for a split second. it repeats itself like a cycle. a vicious cycle.

im dragging myself along. trying to move on wif life. im really trying very hard to forget everything. i really am.

but i carn. i jus carn let go.

y does yixin say tt im disturbing her? wat did i do? i really like to noe. is my existence a nuisance to her? is my very existence disturbing her?

then ok. i wld try not to appear in front of her nemore. the only reason im doing tis is not bcos of those stoopid n meaningless msg in my gbk. the only reason im doing tis is bcos i dun wan her to be troubled by me. cos tt's not i intended in the first place newae.

i tot. my tears have dried up. but. i guess. they haven't. im sho silly. y am i crying over tis?

hmm. i guess. i would be fine. after a long time. jus like the words which appeared at the corner of the show jus now. time will heal my wounds..

.. but i tink. tis time is forever.

:) finally finish updating my page. hehs. sho happy. but ive neglected my studies fer tis few days. haven touch a single shit yet. carn stand. but nvm. i promise i'll work hard starting frm tml. ok!

hmm. tinking abt wat huey woon wrote in my book. i tink there's a high chance tt she haf no idea her fren threaten me. @ least tt's wat i wanna tink larhs. lostatoothie is right. i shld leave her fer a long long time. then maybe things will get better.

but the problem is rite. there isn't much time left. & i really dun wanna lose her just like tt. hias. how i wish tt tis nv happened b4. arh! it's all my fault.