Wednesday, December 10, 2003 14:59

-Something Meaningful-
==Tree==
I'm gd at painting trees & use tree as a trademark for all my paintings. I've dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U but there's 1 gal who I love a lot & nv dare go after her. She doesn't hv a pretty face, gd figure or even outstanding charm. She's juz an ordinary gal.I really like her. Like her innocent, her frankness, her intelligence & her fragility.
I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a gd match for me. After we are tog,the gd feelings'll vanish. I'm also afraid gossips will hurt her.If she's my gal, she'll be mine ultimately & I don't hv to give up everything juz for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years.
She watched me chase after gals & I've made her heart cry for 3 yrs. She wants to be a gd actress but I'm a demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd gf, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" b4 running off. The next day, her eyes were swollen like a walnut. I didn't want to tink abt what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day.
My 4th gf didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know tt based on her character she's not the type tt'll start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my gf. I shouted at her & her eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care abt her feelings & walked off with my gf. The next day, she still laughs & jokes with me like nothing has ever happened. I know tt she's hurt but she didn't know tt my heartache is as bad as hers.
When I broke up with my 5th gf, I asked her out.I told her tt I've sth to tell her. She told me tt she has sth to tell me too. I told her abt my break up & she told me at her getting tog. I know who's the guy. He had been going after her for quite a while. A cute guy full of energy & interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the sch.
I can't show her my heartache but could only smile & congrat her. When I reached home,heartache is so strong tt I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest.Tears rolled down & I broke down. How many times hv I seen her cry for the man tt doesn't ack her presence. During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was sent 10 days ago when I broke down. I haven't read it since then. It says "Leaf's departure is cos of Wind's pursuit. Or cos Tree didn't ask her to stay"

== Leaf ==
I like to collect leaves. I felt tt for a leaf to leave tree which she has been relying on for so long takes alot of courage.During my 3 yrs of Pre-U,I was on close terms with a guy (buddy kind). When he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I shldn't have learnt - Jealousy.
The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemons. When they broke up,I hide my strong sense of happiness.A mth later, he got tog with another gal again.
I know he likes me. Why won't he pursue me? Whenever he had a new gf, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect tt this is a 1-sided love.
If he don't like me, why does he treat me so well? It's beyond what you'll normally do for a friend. Liking a person is heart-wrenching. I know his likes & habits. But I can nv figure out his feelings for me. You can't expect me, a gal to ask him right?
Despite tt, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, dote on him. Hoping tt one fine day, he'll love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know tt no matter how busy he's, he'll make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through.The pain & hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years.
Till the end of my 3rd-yr, a 2nd-yr junior begins to go after me. Everyday, he pursuited me relentlessly. Frm outright rejection to a pt where I felt tt I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart.
He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized tt I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind'll bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree. The tree smiled & didn't ask me to stay. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay.

== Wind ==
I like a gal called leaf. She's so dependent on tree so I've to be a gust wind tt'll blow her away. When I 1st met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. She'll always b sitting there, be it alone or with her friends.
When he talks to gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Juz like how she looks at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt sth amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was not there too. I went to their classroom, hid outside & saw my senior scolding her.Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over & took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised & smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared to pass me a note & left.
Leaf's heart is too heavy & wind couldn't blow her away. "It's not tt leaf heart is too heavy. It is cos leaf nv want to leave tree." I replied her note with this statement & slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know tt the person she loves is not me.I've this perseverance tt one day I'll make her like me.
Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Everytime, she'll divert away frm the topic.I nv give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I'll definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although she'll try to divert, I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping tt she'll agree to be my gf.
I didn't hear any reply frm her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone & took a taxi & rush to her place. The moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or cos Tree didn't ask her to stay

*Hv u encountered it b4? Loving/liking a person hv to let him/her knows cos u nv know when is ur last day alive! Be brave & face ur feelings boldly. Try not to let urself hv regrets*