|
hello?
|
I'm wired but not tired and Lian is going to make it to New Year's before I do!!!
~few minutes pass~
YATTAA NAAAA!!!! MIDNIGHT! NEW YEAR'S!!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR'S, PEOPLE OF EARTH!!!
11:56 pm ### 20011231
Yaaaattaaa, it's so nice! I'll have to fix the alignment of the posts later, though - but anyhow!
...
Uhm, checked the blog and noticed virtue.nu wasn't really letting the pictures through...grr. Hmph. So that you know what to look for, I changed the background and added a picture to the left (<---- l e f t) of the posts. Thought I'd finally show the layout I'd been promisin since forever, even though it's a little different from what I imagined - I'd planned to put up a picture of a boy, some not ratty boy that reminds me of the cute wannabe-scary vocalist of Dir en Grey~ *ducks rabid Kyo* ^^ Anata wa waiii kawaii deeeeeeeeesu!! *ducks thrown piercings* *ducks more Kyo* *ducks wig* *ducks rabid fans exclaiming, "WTF, a WIG?!?!?! YOU IMPLYING HE WEARS A WIG?!?!?"
11:11 pm ### 20011228
Came back from showering.
Are you wondering what was I doing showering at this time?
Mum got tired of seeing her dirty little child being so dirty, after all. So I took a shower.
Would you think I was crazy if I said the bathroom was a little like my sanctuary? (it is my "sanctuary" because it has the nice hot water and the cosy sunlight at times it is white and nearly "pure" it is almost blinding and fresh i like it when the water runs and the light isn't on so everything looks blue and grey: beautiful)
Showers are nice. I slapped my hands against my stomach and listened to the sound. It sounded a little funny, almost like beating on something hollow, but not really. It was a dark sound and sometimes was like a slapping sound, when you slap someone across the face. Afterwards I held my palms up and looked at it: they were very red, even though I hadn't slapped too hard.
Sometimes I get mad at myself, because I'm not acting like myself (unless i'm really someone who only alters and changes for the sake of someone's else's satisfaction but not my own's). I mean . . .
. . . I don't want to be the person who's not really a person, I don't want to be a person who has no sense of self. I don't want to be a person who's laughing only because someone else is laughing, or being sad because someone else is sad.
When I'm the only person that laughs out loud, I immediately suppress it.
Wonder what people would think if I started cussing myself out?
I care too much about what people think. Sometimes. All the time? Always. No.
Yes, I do talk to myself. I'm better company to myself than most people I know.
Maybe I'm too polite....
....or maybe I should just shut up.
I spent most of what I spent online at superFICIAL.nu, and the gallery section. I like it there; not sure why I haven't linked to it from my site yet. My site will be revamped soon, even though SOON to me might not be the same SOON to you. I also think I might move...banners are taking over the world.
Shoo. To depend on nasty advertisers as they depend on you to get the product out by word of mouth by image to eye by infomation to littered brain.
Everyone's a frEk in her own unique, special way.
Are you a freakmonkey?
Are you a frEkmonkE?
r u 4 fr34km0nk3y?
r u 4 fr3km0nk3?
wh4t 4r3 y0u, r34lly?
11:56 pm ### 20011227
He still hasn't come back. Hmf. Not that I care. So why am I saying this? My life, that living thing, has gotten used to him not being around.
11:07 pm ### 20011227
Dad just drove away. Wonder why he didn't do it in his pajamas. Fuck.
9:25 pm ### 20011227
My computer is so slow right now. Why's it so slow? In the past week I've only:
1] used it for research
2] deleted a whole lot of junk to clear up space, incluing temporary files
3] deleted winamp
4] re-downloaded winamp and fixed the horrible sound all my mp3s were making
5] installed Hot Date expansion pack for the SIMS...
6] unzipped some kinna SIM skin pack. I dunno.
What's up with my computer??
9:46 pm ### 20011221
AHHHHHHHHHHH~?!?! Envy.nu now has POP-UPS?!
Oh, that'll mean I'll have to move now, won't I?
Maybe, if I can find a hosting plasu with no pop-ups. >( Baka pop-ups.
7:50 pm ### 20011214
I should be finished with the background for this right now. But I'm not. ;p
I should be putting up a sidebar of "stats" and crack. But I'm not. >P
I have forgotten to bring home my social studies notebook with all the email addresses in it, gotten my hairtie "stolen," was sleepy after lunch as opposed to feeling high, have piano class in an hour, have not started any of my play revisions (gotten it back on Monday and - !!! The people who commented and critiqued my play think Mervyn is a BOYO!! And they think Mervyn and Seaweed are "just friends"! Though I have to say, I'm quite inspired by one of the comments they wrote: 'Who is Miz Principle? Is she a real person or a voice in their heads?' It made my burst out laughing because I never thought of that. Mervyn and Seaweed, on drugs or in an alcoholic haze or psycho, dreaming about writing plays and about people whose lives are defined by tape recorders), am now pigging out on yogurt raisins (which are higher in saturated fat than what I woulda imagined) after eating several Cadbury's dairy milk chocolate pieces (which is delightfully delish - along with the caramel type, too), and...well, I think my computer is majorly screwed up.
I am indefinitely disappointed with myself.
To summarize Mon:
Felt high in the morning and pounded happily at the piano for an hour, and then the sugar high wore off and I felt like a baka in the afternoon.
To summarize the past few days:
New member on beloved ml! And she TALKS! She SPEAKS! She uses her mad typing skillz!
What I'm about to do:
Update my site with a poem, which STILL needs a new layout that I've been promisin since for-ever (the site, not the poem).
I hope I never get as many brainfarts as I do today. 'What brain farts?' Aaaggggggggggggggggggggghghhhhhhhh.... Saints preserve us!
5:33 pm ### 20011212
On-line because of I-Search paper for Explora R + W ('Exploratory Reading and Writing'), listening to Dir en Grey's "Yurameku," I have to go for a flu shot tomorrer, and rubber bands are cool, even IF they stick to your hair and hurt and pull out strands and sometimes make you cut off your own hair just to get the stinking rubber out.
4:37 pm ### 20011204
I don't feel like going to sleep. Sleep, when you're conscious of it, is boring. I don't feel like going to sleep but I know I have to go to sleep so I won't be a grump the morn after. I don't want to go to sleep right now because I don't want to go to sleep with all these insecurities in my head. Shut up shut up shut up. No no no no no. Sleep is easy because sleep is easy because all you have to do is let Gravity take over.
8:14 pm ### 20011202
I'm a machine that needs lob?
5:55 pm ### 20011202
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LIVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE
I love Lian, I love Lisa very much today.
suki da.
9:48 pm ### 20011130
What's wrong with everybody!!
11:42 a.m. ### Friday, November 30, 2001
CASEY SHOULD UPDATE HER BLOG!!! CELINA SHOULD KEEP ONE!! AND *EVERYONE* SHOULD READ MEG'S!!!
9:44 pm ### 20011127
I really really do feel drunk when I'm cold. I hate the cold but I like feeling this way. It's a little like you're high...though I can only compare the high-ness to a sugar high, since I never done no drugs befo.
hee.
9:37 pm ### 20011127
Oh me goodness, Erin-chan is ccrrrrrrraaaaazzzzzzzzyyy!!! But isn't that why she's with us?! :))))))))))))))
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| |||||||||||||||||||||||||
(more fun with lines!)
I was reading again the story Casey and I were doin last year's! We're still doing it, but online, and but now hey what Casey has to email me back so I can print print print it out!! And then we'll continue it off-line! But I was reading what we had (in a big white binder thinger) and I was surprised. I was so mean. (I think, when I was younger, I was much nicer. Now I'm getting old and mean and stingy and mean and mean and mean. WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME??? I don't WANT to be mean!) I WAS SO MEAN. I was mean to Enjolras (I swear I don't like him tho), I was mean to poor Grantaire (though I still think 'Grataire' sounds better, oui, oui, monsier?), I was mean to everybody!! I kicked Sasha all the time cos he denied his being in love with Shelby, who glared at me all the time cos I chased Sasha away, I made Angel and Collins mad cos I made Hisa and Jiro kiss their wee little hearts out all the time. Boohuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuu! I have a great idea! I'll just stick in Mervyn and Seaweed and Kyo and maybe Toshiya and 0 and see what happens!
I am so SORRY for all the trouble I caused, Casey!!! ><;;;; I was such a butthole. I have no idea what in the makai got into me. Maybe I saw Enjolras as my punching bag. And...well...Enjolras WAS mean to me, too. ;p
But still.
Psycho, psycholicious, and loving it, ev-er-ree drop. Luv luv luv!
------------ziiiiiiiiiii------------- We will now return you to the original program: Reality.
9:13 pm ### 20011127
There is a lady in the box.
I look at her.
She talks to me.
"I've been starting on the right all along, so...excuse me here." She turns her back. Together we perform the twenty movements, and when it is time to turn sides, I mimicked, Excuse me here.
We finish the twenty movements again, before she instructs me to turn into an upsidedown V. I do it, and I see the clean white bathroom between my legs, sun on the blinders.
When we clasp our hands round our knees and roll back and forth on our backs, the lady in the box compares this to a back massage. I feel more like an egg that rolls and rolls and quietly breaks as the pieces reach out and sink into the floor.
5:50 pm ### 20011126
I had lots fun with Joanna today, the little bugger!
Basically we ran round smacking each other and calling each other bitches and bastards and speedranting at each other and she couldn't keep her hands off the mancala beads and at the end of the Chinese school day my hands were black and dusty, but I was grinnin my brains out and I felt so freaking lovely!
Jie Yi, feel better and I'll see if I can get you a...mmm...let's see hither?...sticker for Christmas. :)
9:56 pm ### 20011124
I remember when it was Thanksgiving, all the family from my mum's side would come from Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Delaware, and Florida to my house and meet again and celebrate and rejoice. This year my mum, pop, and brother and granmum ate out. That's it.
They're growing.
9:49 pm ### 20011124
*sounds of choking*
AIIIIIIYYYAAAARRRRGGHHH!!!!! I *STILL* don't remember my password for my frEkmonkE account! And to top that off, virtue.nu doesn't have a flippin handy-dandy "forgot your password?" type of thing. ><;;;; Nooooooo...why me? ...why me? Oh...geez.
Anyhow, I went to see Harry Potter today. With a lot of people. The theatre was verily packed! I had to sit in the second row; that's how not-early I was and how many people there were. I guess I shouldn't go and keep on ranting bout how many ppl there were. It's Harry Potter, for gootness sake.
The movie was goot, though I like the book better. Because I was near the front, I could sometimes feel things vibrating because of the sounds from the movie. Why do I prefer the book? Because I don't sit in one place til I feel tizzy and drunk when I finally stand up. Nay, I'm not saying it SHOULDN'T have been long; that's because it wanted to include a lot of things that was in the book. It's just like generally, I like books better than movies. In theatres. ...Now, what am I saying? I'm supposed to be talking about what I thought of the movie, and I'm talking about general books vs general movies. Shish. *smacks forehead* Sou! My fav part of the movie was when Ron, Hermione and Harry were parts of chess in the game of chess they were playing. Nice effects. And because I watched the movie, now I'm getting the urge to go and read some yaoi fanfiction...@___@
I realise, o I realise, I am a bad person to ask of opinion of a movie ^^; So I will go on and talk about what I did with Casey, Celina, Sonia, Lian, Julie, Carly, Zachary, Neil, Brent, and Mike F (aka 'baka-baka'). First of all, Casey and Brent left before the rest of us were screwing around round the fountain place. That said, most of the rest of us ran to the fountain, or that big lake or whadeffer with fountains spoutin out of it and the like. After running there, we sat down on a bench...and then, ran around the fountain again. After a while someone got an idea to play truth or dare, and there was a lot of talk about humping poles and "getting intimate" with a shoe/sock, licking the sticker off of Neil's forehead, Celina kissing Sonia's shoulder (she did not!! She kissed my jacket, which Sonia was wearing! ;p), slapping people on the arse, and Mike F (aka 'yarou') was smacked round a lot. It was a very long, and very strange truth or dare. We saw a couple far away walk together and start to kiss and start to "hide behind something," an old couple walk past us twice, and some lady giving me a 'look' when I pushed Mike F (aka 'ahou') back after he pushed me. Oi, I dunno why she was giving me a look! What's wrong with pushing something, as a joke? Shish.
When people really started to leave, (no, we didn't scare people away, I meant our people starting to go home ^^;) Celina rode home with me, ate dinna at my house, was online with me while I IMed her sis, pretended to be in the bathroom, and then went home. I feel just weird. :)
8:19 pm ### 20011123
aaaaaaaa!!!!!!111111!!!! i forgot the password to my frekmonke account!!!! stysysytaaauuughhhghh!1111
10:03 pm ### 20011121
I am stupid. I am smart. I am simple. I am complex. I am serious. I am humourous. I am foolish. I am clever. I am spiteful. I am kindly. I am stingy. I am generous. I am shallow. I am deep. I am ugly. I am pretty. I am an idiot. I am a genius. I am inspiring. I am not. I am short. I am tall. I stand. I fall. I am still. I move. I am listening. I am not. I am asking. I am answering. I am vain. I am modest. I conform. I am different. I am bland. I am interesting. I am cold. I am hot. I am crazy. I am sane. I am legal. I am illegal. I'm a toad! I'm a bird! ...I am jealous. I am indifferent. I am exuberant. I am nonchalant. I am me. I can be you. I am destroying. I am creating. I am bored. I am eager. I am empty. I am full. I am low. I am high. I am arrogant. I am humble. I am angry. I am delighted. I am apathetic. I am empathetic. I am quiet. I am loud. I can conquer! I give up. I am bold. I am shy. I am dependent. I am independent. I need you. I do not. I don't miss you. I do. I am dark-haired. I am blue-haired. I am dirt. I am sky. I am with everyone. I am in my own private universe. I am off. I am on. I am wrong. I am right. I love. I hate. I am crying. I am not! I lose. I win. I is.
Is that what I think of myself, and how others think of me?
5:27 pm ### 20011119
I can barely see a thing! I'm online so I could reply to Jen-lady, so I wouldn't lose her email or anything @_@ I can barely see a thing because I lost my glasses somewhere, on Friday, when I went to Kahunaville on a school trip.
MY COMMENTS ON THE KAHUNAVILLE IN DELAWARE:
When I went there, half the machines weren't working. Most of them ate my coins, and wouldn't return them: when I tried to "play" on a candy machine, the claw that was supposed to grab some candy went down but never came back up! I told some guy, he smacked the machine, nothing happened, and he went back to work on some other machine.
Alrighty. I lose my glasses either on the bus or at school or at Kahunaville. So, if you see any splellleing misstajkees, feel free to ignore them or tell me. :)
This week was: busy. A lot of my teachers had either projects or tests/quizzes on this Fri.! Blarg. Shtuff is due on Monday, also. I better get crackin soon so I can get back to reading Me Talk Pretty One Day. Wonder if it'll be as funny as the critics say it'll be? I wonder too if I can actually get to typing up the third part of WAGDA...ergh. Ja.
8:28 pm ### 20011103
Summary of day:
need to finish two essays. Forgot to bring home math notebook, will borrow from Celina (who came over yester's day and made my throat raw, and also unwittingly smacked me upside the head by accident @@) on Sunday. Casey + Celina come o'er on Sunday because of science stuff. Yayy.
Comments:
The picture I have as the background for this (the horizontal stripe thing) is oogly. I'm going to change it soon ... to a different design of stripes! Yayy!
And I also feel kinna bad today because I realise I say "shut up" too much. Or mostly cos sometimes I just say it without thinking. Arrrgh.
4:24 pm ### 20011026
Someday I'm going to fix this comp's clock. It's NOT six-fifty. It's six-something else. But I had a dream, and in it was the question, "What if we were all wrong?" And for some reason, last night, as I was thinking about what to post (yesh, I dos that), I *had* some reason for writing: I am a "girl."
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
(fun with lines! yaah!!)
okidoki, onward! Last Sat I went out with my cousin + my friend to a Chinese bookstore shop. Bought a magazine about anime that came with a Weiss Kruez VCD and some kind of cassette tape that included songs from Cowboy Bebop, Bubblegum (typoed 'bubblegun' on the cassette) Crisis, Legend of Mana, some kind of Final Fantasy song...I listened to most of it, and I don't like much. o_O;;; I liked the second song on the tape -- it's supposed to be from Cowboy Bebop and it's sung in english (not engrish), and at the moment I remember "call me, call me. Let me know it's alright".
Along with that, I bought five bookmarks for a buck. They're really really cute (most of them ^^;)...I need to check out Unplugged Boy. Then, I'll look for yaoi fanfiction. {insert crazy Ranma look here} There was this guy with blue hair + two earrings in left lobe (only?) that I first mistook for a gal. I found out about "Unplugged Boy" when my pop brought home a mini magnetic address book for me. I haven't put anything in it yet because I don't want to ruin it.
Of ruining things, has anyone told you that you should always save something like food for later? What if you saved and saved and saved and saved and never got to eat it after all because you saved too long and it either went stale or you died? Waiting for disaster is not good, ne?
Great, my buttermilk waffles went all soft on me.
I think I gotta stop posting so early in the morn o_O;
I had a dream. I was wearing my get-up for Hallowe'en, and I was on a staircase that was crowded with people. Everyone was wearing some sort of costume. There's a fat man up the top of the steps, where there's a little level section, and he calls up people, 'group' at a time, to regect/accept their costumes. So by now, you think this is a costume contest?
He called me and someone else up there, and so I slowly climb the staircase, hanging on the side banisters for life. When we get up there, he looks at the person next to me and says, to someone else, "That's Elizabeth! Doesn't that look like our dear Elizabeth?" and I say, "That's a boy!"
After that we get into a balloon contest, I think. The man, after a while, just started blowing and poping big balloons all o'er the place, and I was so mad at him for not looking at my costume!
I'm reading American Gods. If books had ratings like movies, Neverwhere would be PG-13, and its fellow should have R. So far. I'm not finished with it yet.
6:50 am ### 20011025
Geezus, I'm so hungry it HURTS.
That's the whine for today! I'll just continue on that. (Tangent sounds so...)
Yatta! I just picked up my waffles from the toaster. They're slightly burnt and very crispy and hot, and I love em. ..And yeah, so what if they're lop-sided circles now? ;p
Last night I got into another one of my "happy spells" again. It's...NOT...a perverted thing. It's when I actually have to time to lie down literally and thinkthinkthink cos there's nothing else to do, and then I think about the day if it was a good one and get very happy, or when I'm suddenly inspired and THEN I get very happy.
So. I'm jittery and happy and bouncy WHILST I'm supposed to be sleeping and resting.
Sweet Inari, why does this kind of thing have to happen on a school night? You see, Id love to stay up and plan out some more of the play my LA class is requiring me to do...I'll talk more bout that later, need to stop and snack on my waffle. (.............)
There, finished off the first one. I never thought I'd be so glad my mouth and hands work separately. ^^
Back to play. I have to do it because my LA teacher wants to enter our (her classes') plays in the Delaware Theater Company Young...Playwriter's contest. The title's something like that. ...No, I'm not worried about missing the bus right now cos it's still dark out. ..Agh, just checked the clock, it IS about time for me to go out and wait for the bus. @_@;;; It's real strange that winter is the way it is. I remember losing track of time cos of winter ^^; The bus would drive us home, and it'd be so dark out, and there'd be cars everywhere cos it's rush hour, and I would think, You mean I'm not supposed to be asleep right now?
Okay, I think I'll go now. You never know about my bus.
6:53 am ### 20011017
Ever had the feeling that makes you feel invincible?
I love that feeling. :)
I also like it when people's hair smell nice. No, really! I really really like it when your hair smells nice. Joanna's hair smells nice!
What happened today: went to Chinese school, the usual and yah, but this time I was EARLY (usually we leave at 12:30 and end up about ten/five minutes later than one) and ... yeah! Jie Yi was sorta late today, and our table filled up quickly, so this time Joanna sat next to me instead of sitting over one with Jie Yi in the middle. She's really funny, cos I twitched my pen (I want to learn how to flip that thing over in my fingers so muchaoohlala) and hit her on the hand, and then she goes "ow!" and makes this mock-mad-menacing expression and hunches a little and starts twitching her pen towards me.
Does anyone else besides me gets what I'm saying when I'm talking about "twitching pens"? That's okay. If you ever get to know me with a pen/pencil/stick in my hand, you'll see what I'm doing. Or talking about. Something. If yer curious 'nuff, email me! Please! Even though I'm not trying to go online as much as before (trying to help my eyes, not that I'm lovin the net any less), I love email!
Alrighty, I'm done with that ^^;;; Anyone know what a power-rant is? I think I do. Know what a power-walk or how to powerwalk? I do. If you do, you know what a power-rant is. Ranting at high speed!
Celina's coming over tomorrer! Yatta! I also got "SIMS Livin' Large" a few days ago, and that honeymoon heart bed is real..real funky, that's what I'll say. The thing VIBRATES.
me<-----listening to "garden," and I need lyrics for that too. T_T And for "paradox" by pierrot. I don't know how to say "pierrot" right. I also need help on Brooklyn accents.
Yare, yare, do I sound needy to ya? I do to myself.. agghhh, just use ONE period, Connie, not TWO or THREE!
O yah! I bought a hat...yesterday! At Target. It's part of my costume for hallowe'en, but I'd also wear it for...um, daily use. Not-so-daily use. I like it. It's a cap that boys used to wear some long time ago, in our galaxy. And now, I have some trouble determining what boys actually *wear*. I mean, they wear t-shirts and pants. Ha. So do I. IT'S...SO...HARD...TO...TRY TO CROSSDRESS AS A BOY! Hot damn. With the exception of dresses, does it seem to you like it seems to me that we're (us or the clothes) becoming more and more unisex? Maybe we'll evolve to this asexual type of being, hey? Who knows? It's so nice to dream. Androgynous-iddy!
More on what happened today: spent for-ever in a shop I've never been to before looking for Jrock. They didn't have any. They had Jpop, some SES, Ayumi H. ... I heard SES was good (Korean pop group), but I only had 20 dollas on me and wanted to check round. I ended up buying a Final Fantasy 4 "original music version" CD at some other gift shop, but it turns out I only like a few tracks on it. ;; I shoulda bought that Lain CD! aaarggg! Screw "overall" popularity.
Anyhoo...I don't think I have anything else to get at.
alright, I scared myself for a moment there because I thought my LA book report was due this monday (and it's NOT, Casey). I have to start that thing soon, cos my science proj. is also due some day close after that. zat. plat. splat.
Oh...it's just about eleven. G'night.
10:42 pm ### 20011013
It's a little amazing to me how high some voices are ^^; Like Megumi Hayashibara's. I'm listening to "Tamashii no Refrain" ... Rei re-mix, I think. I like it. It has the sort of sounds that sound pinched off a bit at the end, and that, I find endearing. Or something of the sort.
The human body is verily strange. Compared to computers? Aa?
When someone's thinking, about the war that might be coming on, like Why can't this happen after I'm dead and gone?, I think back, Isn't that selfish?
I have a new wallpaper on my comp and two downloaded mp3s and a third winamp skin now, and they're basically about Rei Ayanami. I...can't find any good yuri fanfiction on her! Aiyaaah @_@; It's times like these when I wish fanfiction.net has some more detailed search/grouping way of doing the fanfics. If you know what you're looking for and it's popular, maybe you can find a lot of what you want. But otherwise, you wade through and thru the lists and lists of fanfiction, and even then you prolly won't find anything.
O-kay, that didn't make any money nor sense at all!
2:51 pm ### 20011007
Today = okay.
Did you know, do you know, that I'm using "okay" as a response to so many things a lot of people are taking it as if I'm saying I'm hating something? o_O; I think I'm stretching the word too far.
Anyhow ^^; I took the (I find it funny that sometimes people write "that" when they're not apparently pointing to something physical. It makes me want to look round and say What? Where?) history exam to-day. Prokop said no one's ever got a 100 on it before, because, well, it was the first exam of the year and exploration has a lot of things on it. Something to that effect. My memory is bad.
I think I did okay, and it really really tickles me of the panicky feelings I and other people I believed got, because it makes you feel sorta high and light-headed and you lose a little sense. On THAT, I've read somewhere there was something called "Happy Gas" that some doctors/dentists use! How come I've never gone on that?? Blaaaa!
I downloaded "GARDEN" by Dir en Grey (NOT "Dirt en Grey," like my brother says.. *bops him*) and I love it verily. Even though he doesn't make any liquid-like voice sounds in this one: I just realised that in all of the songs I have so far (few, not as much as the Glay I downloaded. I want to hear Fried Chicken and Beer!!!) that Kyo sounds so...delirious in, it's the kind of song he makes his screaming in. ^^; Sou. Smoking curls inside your body and breathes out more greys through the veins.
Now my goal is to write as much as I can, then pig out on fanfiction @____________@
..Arg, phone call from my piano teacher. I must sound like a brat by now, but I don't want to go to any piano classes. I don't like being forced into recitals, I don't like being forced to play pieces I don't like or even have a feel for. I've had piano classes for long enough now; I can learn any new piece I want to. Really, I'm not going to compose or make a living of piano-playing. It's for leisure. Leisure, when I want to relax and not worry about playing piano in front of a bunch of strangers.
Shish. Saturday I did go with Casey to the movie and saw Rat Race, which had a funny cross-dressing Lucy-lookalike in it! I don't know the name of the guy who drove the bus, tho. I didn't know a lot of the names of people acting in the film, cos...I'm not an avid tv watcher. ^^;; At the end of the movie we went out of the theater through some back-door, and waited outside for a long time for my mum. She was inside the theater. We were outside. It was cold. Casey had a purse. Woolah.
When she (my mum) came out, yes, I got yelled at, because my brother was with us also and he was sick with something. So, we drove Casey home (after Casey said, "That's my dad," as he drove past because she called him to pick us up), we drove home, yell-yell-yell, I took a shower and went to sleep and it was Sunday that Celina came over!
Do you know what's really unnerving? The fact that every single person you meet could be front-up lying to you in whatever she says. Oh, I'm not trying to "subtly" (I'm really bad at that) imply that whatever I'm typing up isn't true. I was just thinking about that sort of thing, that's all. I still think that our "world" is a science experiment of some other species is possible. I like to keep options open and not being told what to and not to think (though that's practically impossible now, since I've grown up learning and preparing for the world what other people deem right and correct). The world is really a strange place.
Hey, you know those kinds of stories where the whole world is supposed to be against this one hero character? If that hero person has a friend, that friend isn't part of the world, right? I'm assuming that "world" means every person on it. So if a world is the person on it, is the hero a person? What about the people scattered hither and thither that are WITH the hero-person? Are they really part of the world? Why are some things so generalized?
It's not funny when someone says someone has a sickness or illness because of something she or he can't help. I also don't get this fact Christians give out: woman was made of man, so woman is spelled "woman." Isn't that weird, because you can take the word "man" out of woman, but you can't make the word "woman" with "man." If women were made from men, why aren't they called "an" or "en" or something like that? And how come men don't give birth of we're made from them? Hot damn. My lovely, Lindy Lou.
I need lyrics for that song! ;)
Oi, how come when you crumple a paper, you can't straighten it back out to its former perfect unfolded uncrinkled self? It doesn't work anything if you try to stretch it to its flatness from before. Yaaa, is Glay's "Hitohira no Jiyuu" good?
6:57 pm. ### 20011003
Wai wai, email from two of my most fav people!! Astreo and a lady I stumbled into by accident!
whiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
My Happy Noise. ^^
Mum says I'm going to go to some mooncake festival morrow. I don't know if I should call Casey today or morrow (I'm serious, I don't like the phone) to ask about the movie. We might see rats racing for moolah. Tra la~~~~
Oh, I noticed I don't seem to write verily long posts anymore, wonder why? I like long posts. They keep you occupied. La, I like chorus plenty. A lot of times the high notes frustrate me cos usually when I get home, my throat is cleared enough so I can actually reach the high note(s) more comfortably now ^^; My throat is against me, yo!! I also lurve lunch, it makes me feel warm.
La. Ja ne!
7:23 pm ### 20010928
Arrrrrrr!! Today is mighty floopin cold! But before I do anything, here's the entry that was SUPPOSED to have been up yester's day:
--
20010926
7:10 pm
I got logged off for the third fucking time.
Whoo, there, one sentence, I'm done. I don't feel like cursing anymore. My palms are beginning to feel better, too.
Shish. Shish. I don't know what's wrong...
Onward. I'm just typing in the "create mail" window now and plan to save it later for the next time I'm blogging. I'll post this in.
(From last time)
I swear, if I get logged off again I will scream. I will physically smack my comp and be deemed "weird" for the rest of my life. Below is the stuff I copy and pasted.
Shish, envy.nu still has that "please sign up for this thing + help us" thing going on. Luckily, today I got past that and so I can actually update my site now. Last time, my screen kept mussing up and the envy.nu screen kept going back to the sign-up part. Argg!!!
About two days ago (??), I was so happy I couldn't sleep!! One thing I was happy about was that I knew what I wanted to draw for this blog (I'm still workin on it ^^;), and drawing Takuro-kun and Teru-kun! The other thing I was happy about, I can't say it here. It'd ruin the surprise. ;)
Tomorrer is when I'm going to have a FCS ("Family Consumer Science" -- hey, I wanna know how to sew, 'kay?) test.
This is where I'm starting to continue.
Arrghh. I couldn't freaking update after all at envy. What should I do?
I think that sanity is like a piece of string that's wrapped round and round and round a person. It unravels bit by bit in Situations, and when the end of the string is gone, the person is stark raving mad by then.
Stark raving mad
Oh oh oh
The music just whirls you on
And on and on
When do you get off?
There. I don't know what it is, but there.
I hate it when I get so mad but can't find the will to cry. Shish. Anyone that says crying are for Sissy Fools sure is going to get something in the kisser.
Okay, I'll stop before I get even more ... more...
--
Yeah, okay, so I cursed in the first sentence, and I rarely curse anymore, and no, I don't think it's cool to curse excessively and idiotically.
Gee, I must be paranoid to always be putting up "warnings" like that.
On otheeeerrr thiiinngggsss... I just went away from the comp to pick up the phone, and this automated voice says, "We are not available right now. Please leave a message after the beep..." I hung up because I was thinking, What the heck? You're calling me, I'm not calling you, why should I leave a message?
My bro came up to me and said, "I heard something say 'Hello?' downstairs..." So I told him about me picking up the phone and things, and he said, "You heard something downstairs?" and I said, "No, it was the answering machine I heard!"
He said it sounded like pop. Whoop-de-doo.
This Sat I'm watching a movie with Casey. O, that reminds me...movie listings! But where the heck am I supposed to find em for Saturday??
7:36 pm ### 20010927
AAA!! NOW I have a definite idea of what I want to be doing for the layout! I should dish out the cheesecake first, though. I love cheesecake (it's only when I eat too much that I don't like it anymore ^^; Casey doesn't like cheesecake too much, but she likes lemon mengurine(?) pie. I tried it, I don't like it too much ^^;)! My school's team is having some sort of fund-raising thinger, selling gourmet cheesecakes...I'll see if my mum'd like to buy some :D
I loved yester's day!! Celina came over with her pop (her mum came first, chatted with my mum, watched/help her cook), and then she and Miranda + Boris (younger and younger sister and bro) watched the SIMS go and fool round. SIM Elizabeth stood eating and talking to someone we couldn't see either, at one point ^^; And it's really strange, SIM Elizabeth's and SIM Celina's clothes are different now. Elizabeth used to have some kind of sport clothes, Adida-like pants and crack like that, and SIM Celina used to wear jeans and a shirt that had a picture of a donkey on it.
After that was a lot of eating of Vietnamese noodles and talking; Miranda was on my left talking to my brother who was on my right, and I was talking to Celina who was on Miranda's left. It was a roundish table, so we didn't have too much trouble. We talked: school. people. "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" and the reason why I didn't watch it. our teachers, and everyone cracking up at any random thing. We're really quiet when together at school though, I don't know why ^^; ..And now, after hearing about it from Celina, I'd like to climb up on my (or her's) roof and see what it's like.
Back to yesterday - played mancala (NOT..."man-caller"...) with her sis, watched the SIMS a little bit more, played piano accompaniments for our chorus music for Celina while she sang a little along for for-ever, went upstairs to turn off the comp when my brother complained to me that I wasn't playing SIMS, and spent a loooooong time trying to teach Celina to play the second part of some little ditty I learned while in summer camp. I don't know the title, but the notes (for the person playing the melody) are like this (letters that are close to each other represent an eighth note):
C C C CB AB CD E E E ED CD E G C AG FE D C
There's more to it, but I don't know the rest of it. Celina also wondered why I couldn't play "chopsticks." I never learned it, is why ^^;;;;
Sou, bring on the cheesecakes!
5:23 pm ### 20010924
Celina's going to come over this afternoon, and her family is going to eat with my family. I showered and can wait.
My mum bought some new shampoo for me some days ago, a Herbal Essences sort of thing, for "normal to oily" hair. I have oily hair! There's a picture of a kind of plant (I've got to look up "motif" later on) inside the back of the bottle, and at first I thought it was real. ^^; Some containers for baths have real(?) plants and flowers inside of them. I only like those types because I'd try to get the flower out. Curiosity. What's it feel like? Why doesn't it die? Is it really real?
Soap or "gel-soap" are really hard to clean out of their containers. I once made chocolate milk and poured it into those soap dispensers, and when I squirted a few into my mouth for a drink (I had thought it was very clever), it tastes so horrible I just threw it away. Warg.
I'm re-writing my sloppy copy of an essay-thing for my LA class that was 'due' last Friday ^^; It's about the Outsiders - I'm supposed to re-write a part of the story in another character's POV (as opposed to Ponyboy's) that shows the "good" in the Greasers. I started out trying to do Darry's POV about striking Ponyboy, but I changed my mind after I realised I couldn't get a feel for him. I made him sound verily...intellectual (and I'm not saying he can't be o course!!), and, well, it reminded me of all these other "thoughtful reflection on what happened/I have done" pieces that I and others have doe. That provoked me to write "IN ACTUALITY, IF PEOPLE WERE ALL LIKE THIS, THAT MEANS WE ALL THINK THE SAME" in the margin of one my papers.
And we don't think the same. We don't.
I'm trying Johnny's POV now.
11:29 am ### 20010923
Arg, I finally finished typing up the second part for "We're All Going to Die Anyway," ran it through spellcheck real quick, and sent it off to be read over.
Then I'm going to send it to the MLs.
Throughout the whole thang, I felt like my eyeballs were so fried out and dried out and conked out and decided once I was done I would log off, but, well, I'm still here. ^^; Arg, matey! (I want to start talking to merc again, though I have the faintest idea of what we'd ramble together about.)
Spent almost for-ever talking with my cousin Yish, and she sure loves her Tokyo Crazy Paradise manga. It's about a girl who becomes a bodyguard for some gangster boss-guy. Love sparks. Woohoo! Trouble abrew!
Okidokes, I'm really almost really done. I just want to see if there's any new parts for "Changling Prince Fusion" and then I've got to take the bowl that used to hold pears downstairs and then I either sleep or watch the telly with my mum. I can see the veins in the back of my hands, and I press them lightly: it's a bit like squishing a soft straw or hollow pasta between your fingers. It's queer. I'm queer.
I feel better.
10:29 pm ### 20010921
I like Kyo's voice. I like his voice especially when he sounds liquidly delirious. He could come and burble as long as he wants in my ear.
6:51 pm ### 20010921
I know, I know, I haven't done any other major-like thing round this place yet. But envy.nu just refuses to let me inside and edit some pages, so I'm going to screw around here.
I just came back from the orthodontist's(sp?) place, getting the coloured bands/ties on my braces checked + changed again. Well, the lady changing the coloured ties was a little jerky because she kept hitting my tooth or lip, but she was kindly and good-natured, so I didn't really mind ^^; I dread when I have to put on some kind of contraption in my mouth to make my lower jaw protude some more. I don't want it. I don't get it, either: I think my jaws are fine the way they are (hey, I can talk okay, I can eat right, nothing gets in my way, I don't lisp, and having a "good profile" isn't one of my top priorities).
...Okay, I'll just tell them all that the next time, then.
I started to type up the second part of "We're All Going to Die Anyway," realised again that I don't like having to look up and down all the time whilst typing something up. I lose my place a lot, for some unobtainable reason. Last I checked, yahoo is getting a bit cranky and not-working-right.
I also notice I change subjects a lot, eh ^^;; I don't know why, I can't seem to stay on one subject and elaborate on it. It's funky (I remember when my mum told me "funky" was a cuss. I think she mixed it up with the other word). I like my non-sequiters! (Learned what that word meant from Astreo ^^)
Well, well. Looking back, I have a LOT of things to be sorry about ^^; Or at least embarrassed about. Okay, change of topic! I have a good idea of what I want to do with this blog. I'm going to switch o'er from virtue.nu to this. Of course I'm going to mention this blog in the virtue.nu blog. (I only have three as of the moment, but I make it sound like I have a lot, don't I?) I also have a problem - I need a site that allows off-site linking to host some images for my (I think brinkster might be it, but I'd have to check it out first), and this one problem, this REALLY big problem: how do you make the font smaller (and bigger) on the internet? I once ran my fingers on the keyboard looking for CONTROL+ALT+DELETE to shut down some program, and the font on the web suddenly grew. On the downstairs comp, the one I'm on now, the font is HUGE. A font that would look like one in IE looks like three (or larger). These things could be headlines.
On the other hand, the comp with all my junk and crack (winamp, mp3s, Lain wallpaper instead of this pokemon one my bro has up, images taking up space on hardrive, my SIMS!!), when I log onto the internet, the font is...really small. Only one size too small, but most of the sites I go to are "font type is Verdana, font size is one" types. Including mine, so it's barely readable upstairs, while it's highly...highly, highly, highly...highly, highly...highly...readable on this comp I'm usin. Arg (rarr, rarr!).
...Yes, I like saying things like "arg" and "nn" and "eh" and being silly, so get o'er it, if it's peevin ya.
Alrighty. I think I have lots more to say, but I believe I'm dragging this post old wild ^^;
One more thing. I would've gone over to livejournal.com to make a thing there, but, well, I either had to pay or get invited. So now I'm here. But pitas.com is delish, if not a mite confusin bout the edges, and I will get my fic up as soon as I can and the layout as soon as I can and the crack I'm supposed to give out as soon as I can.
Do you think I make too many promises?
8:16 pm ### 20010920
hee! Just checking some more things out, to see if it's going to work the way I think it's going to work.
Gee, I'm going to have to come up with a *layout* for this, aren't I? ...
I wish I could be like SOME people and rub my hands devillishly in anticipation (but I shan't wish for precipitation).
..Okay, so now whoever's here (I doubt anyone is ^^;) now knows I like to rhyme. A little. Okay. Okay. Hit the road for me, why dontCHA?
09:03 pm ### 20010919
hallo?
HTML IS ALLOWED ON HERE, RIGHT???
Okidoki. I don't understand the URL part, tho.
9:00 pm ### 20010919
|