ouaf...
(august 9th, 9:16pm)
sound: Sute Neko -Velvet Eden (but really... i don't care)

"argh" would about sum it up naa. i haven't _really_ opened my mouth to talk in some 2 days so i'm a bit rusty, sputtering nonsense and weird sounds instead of words. *sigh* can't articulate, can't talk, can't sing (hell, can't hold my notes >.<).

my world has gone down to grunting, groaning and the eventual moan.
help! my muses are torturing me! too many images coming to my head >.<; it's too loud in there (oh boy... mental ward, here i come).

nee-chaaaaan!!!, hichan wants his own blog and i was thinking... best place would be over at LiveJournal, ne? ahhh, i have to wait cuz the online hours have melted away (so i'm down to max 15 minutes a day for now) but when i get a new month... ^_____^ hichan needs his blog and i don't wanna have him here >.<

*exhausted sigh* man, why does my mom take out her moods on me? she's tired so it all falls down on MY head T_T i'm getting tired of her bad moods/volatile tempers and all that goes with them. i'm damn tired of getting screamed at >.< nah, it doesn't do anything, i'm used to it. but...

ah, hell, who cares anyway. it dun matter anymore.

goodnight.

grumpy
(august 8th, 6:42pm)
sound: 24ko cylinder -DeG

'm here, grumpy like an old man who flushed his dentures down the toilet (thank you Gabe for that lovely comparison). meh... somehow... maybe it's the headache that's been circling 'round like a vulture since this morning, maybe it's the restless night and IDIOTIC dreams (i was sick, a volcano was erupting and KYO and KAORU were DEAD >.<), maybe... argh, don't know. i'm headachy, grumpy and mute. dun wanna open my mouth, dun wanna look at people... >.<; and last night's ebay adventure is still bugging me (aha! there we go, could that be the reason/catalyst for my bad mood?). nnnnn... *rubs forehead* maybe i should go to sleep?

but i don't wanna dream things like that again >.<

P-kun! haaa, i'm truly HAPPY that you got the vcds. and so quickly too! *surprised* ooh, by the way, that's not Pata hide's kissing in 50%&50%, it's Ran, the OTHER guitarist. Pata's on the other side of the stage (heh, like in X, his usual spot). *shrug* oh, well, it's still cute (yeah, especially the way hide wipes his mouth right after the kiss *smirk*).
but, what did you think of Oblaat? fun, huh? makes me wish even more i had been there (instead of playing with frogs in the countryside. oh, beautiful life >.<)

Aggy, hope you're better *hugs from me and hichan* got the emails?

Lola are you ok? are you sick? well... i'm kinda worried (not "kinda worried" but WORRIED), haven't heard from you in a while. nee? how are you?

damn, comp's jukebox is STILL refusing to open. damn thing... *tired sigh* awww, ain't this log a piece of melodrama?

sorry, i'll go before i start randomly insulting people i care about.

ciao bambina

i'm a masochist
(august 7th, 9:48pm)
sound: bottom of the valley of death -DeG (but in truth, nothing, the song's just stuck in my head)

here we go, i'm all frustrated again. pissed at myself, the world, destiny, happenstance, people i don't even know and my muses (yep, museS, they're many). and all because... explain, please explain, why do i keep going on ebay or online stores and checking out all the hide merchandise when i HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO MONEY??? why can't i control these urges if i know that all it'll do is piss me off and that i'll probably be moping for the next 48 hours? why? to realise to a greater extent how much i DON'T have and how much i want but CAN'T have???

*exha~le* sorry, i'm frustrated. mostly with myself though... yeah, i know, i still have quite a lot and what's destined to happen will happen AND i should get a job. *shrug* that i shall and i will and... oh, for whatever's sake, this is stupid! *grin* ahhh, good, at least i feel better now (DAMN. will have to change my imood AGAIN.)

Tchisa... Fugu... those two are killing me. Tchisa waved a large envelope wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper under my nose today, said she has something for me but that she has to fix it and that i'll prolly get it next time we meet. uuuuuuuuurghhhhh!!! i'm no good at this! it's killing me! in a good way, but STILL!!!!!!! i can't stop speculating, WHAT could fit into that envelope... what??? WHAT?????????? >.<; mouuuuu, i'm no good at suspense! and now i have Fugu laughing at me (she knows how i'm suffering... well, she would, with my comments.... goes something like this:
Tchisa shows me the envelope, i make a happy but indifferent face for the sake of appearances.
me, 2 hours later, during dinner with Fugu: "you know, i wonder, WHAT could possibly be in that envelope."
Fugu: *starts laughing* "you spent 2 hours thinking about that? all this time we were talking?"
me: >.<;;;;;; *nods*
well, you get the picture...)

uhuuuuuuu... this IS killling me... i'm trying not to think about it but... T_T now i have to meet Tchisa again! *laugh/cry*

haaaaaa... let's talk 'bout sumthin else: my muses for exampl. currently, they're 3. ^__^ there's hichan *hichan bows and waves and sticks his tongue out*, there's Kyo *from him, an indifferent shrug* and... Chiro-chan!!! *laugh* yup, Chirolyn. i don't know his solo works but he's so much fun in Spread Beaver! and on stage with hide! ouaf, i know Tchisa hates his guts but... he's adorable, looks like a pocket size bakemono (monster) and has incredibly hairy legs *laugh* and is a great bassist. how can you not like him?

Chiro: *peeps from under bed*

awwwwww... he's my weakness. kawaiiiiiiii!!!

mental b-a-l-a-n-c-e
(august 5th, 5:53pm)
sound: humming BOTTOM OF THE VALLEY... -DeG

he-yyyy... *slow smile* haven't been around much lately but... sometimes it's good to get away, ne? mmm, haven't felt like this in... forget it, it's been a while since i felt CALM.
nothing special but plain old calm. ze~n... *makes bug eyes and climbs on the chandelier* so~...

nee-chan, Kisa, i miss you both *makes bambi eyes from the chandelier* i tried to catch you online but since i can't be around that much... oh, and... Kisa? i think hichan misses you. i mean... i thought all was normal but this morning i found the letter K and a heart engraved into the soap bar... plus, hichan's been muttering non-stop about getting himself a pet snake... O.o;

D.dd..DDddaiiiiiiii! how's the trip? when are you coming back? how was the mini-golf? found any interesting jrock "stuff"???

neeeeeeee... can't get my thoughts together... oh, yep, that's it ^_^ (uuuh, headache, storms coming). i did 2 hichan drawings, my first decent ones in, oh, some 8 months. the proof that, yes, after all i CAN draw. just being damn lazy about it.

P-kun! (can't stick to a subject...) i ADORE the Glay fic, it's hilarious and and and.... *shiny eyes*

uhm... i'll um... go... do... stuff...

annoy hichan...