arrrghhh, what was i thinking?
probably wasn't
june 26th 12:28PM
sound: mask -DeG hey, what else would it be?
arghhhhhh, what was i thinking last night, writing that Kyo blog? wait, no, no, i MEANT and still MEAN all of it. i just... blabbed... as usual... it really WAS pointless.
and that Kyo wallpaper i tried to make isn't half as bad as i thought. i just can't use it on my desktop cuz then the photo is hidden by the 30 or so icons.
as usual, i shine bright as the sun *smirk*
no Kyo dreams tonight either, just a bloody early wake up call. and one the one day i have the house completely to myself!!! >.< no one's coming home for lunch, i'm all alone... had to wake up early >.<;
i started doing my schedule for next year and... mhh.... so far it looks ok but i'm scared. it always looks ok at the beginning and then when you try to fit in that ONE course you NEED to take, all falls apart.
*sigh* as long as i can have my Japanese, i'll live. too bad it'll only be 3 times a week now. i kinda liked having it everyday. 'twas easier to learn too.
*cough* i lost my voice completely, can barely talk. and if i do, then it sounds like some of the choking, scraping sounds Kyo makes.
lovely, my dears.
huuuuwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, not Gackt!!!! >.<;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
forcing Mrs Brain to work
dead brain dead meat dead rat
june 26th, 12:27AM
sound: Akuro no oka -DeG, on repeat since 10pm
i don't feel like going to bed (even though i'm dead tired) so... i thought i'd come here.
ouahhh, sand in my eyes...
Kyo is leaving his mark on me. i've been listening to him sing, thinking about him, DREAMING about him, thinking about him even more as a result of those dreams... the first signs of mental disturbance by a jrocker have set in: i spent the last 2 hours trying to make a decent Kyo wallpaper.
well, i didn't make one, just a bigger photo but... mwaaaaaaaaa.... why am i so stuck on these thoughts??? why am i dreaming about him? weird dreams too, they feel so real... more real than reality. everything i smell, hear and TOUCH in those dreams is 100 times more vivid than reality.
is it real in a way too? separate worlds?
parallel realities?
upcoming Kyo shrine?
the last most certainly, i've got a feeling. and i don't give a damn how tall he is! i don't care! i don't give a sh*t anymore about the "kawaii small cute" business. he's Kyo. he inspires me. he makes me think. he's not a source of strength and light like hide-chan, he's instead a comfortable and familiar source of darkness i can always turn to. a place and a feeling i know too well. *damn* something to mope about whenever i need to transfer real worries onto something a bit more... immateria. irrelevant.
that's it. put all your heartache and worries into something completely irrelevant. and then fix that irrelevant problem.
you'll feel for a while that all the real troubles have also gone away.
so... i need a rest from incessant light.
give me Kyo. pretending to be scary Kyo, scary Kyo, normal Kyo, i don't give a f*ck which Kyo.
his DeG image will do. still... i wonder how much his image is reality. you can't completely pretend after all...
can you? can all of you be fake?
for how long?
mount everest at home
so weak...
june, um..... 24th
sound: coughing.... neeee?
ouahhh.... hello, mina-chan. *cough*
been sick, am better... well, getting better. still going up the stairs or sitting in front of the computer for 10 minutes feels like climbing mount everest.
*faints*
and i can't type, i have to correct typos in every second word... >.<
Hori-chan!i'll write the moment i'm able to. but it's ok, ne? if you wanna whine/complain, you're welcome to! *hugs*
Lochan AISHTERRRRRRRRRUUUUUUU!!! *with a big Kansai accent^^* i'm doing btter now though^^ and you take care of yourself too, can't be sick when Red-chan gets here!!!
nee-chan *hugs tight* poor you *hugs tighter* i miss you too *even tighter* but be strong, 'k? *hugs so tight Sis can barely breathe* luv ya!!!
uuuhhh... Fugu!!! so you are alive too! *joking* you're always quiet anyway ^^ glad to know you're having fun! and tell Tchisa to check her email once in a while!!!!!!! ^__________^
ok, have to go before i fall down....
nnnn....i need LemonED tea...... or i will scream
*cough* that was pathetic *laughgroancoughmoanslitherupstairs*
grrrrr, netscape
nodo itaiii!!! *coughchokecough*
june 21st
sound: Say Anything -X ^_^;;;
downloaded Say Anything and now it won't get out of my head so i'm doomed to listen to it until it does.
*deep breath*
*coughcough* my throat hurts and that's the only reason why i'm up at 11am. actually, i've been up since 6am (slept less than 6 hours, just couldn't fall asleep with my throat. kept waking up, trying to swallow, going to take a drink... >.< poor me! *coughs to death because of the exclamation mark*)
point is, i've been up since 6am, i watched the Germany vs USA quarterfinals (GERMANY WON!!! 1:0!!!!!!! *happy happy happy*). sadly, England lost against Brazil(1:2), but that was expected. i'm just sad cuz that was a match worth of a final, not quarterfinals. well, 'm waiting for the afternoon match re-run.
what else... i downloaded the Embryo video: i love it! *coughwince* very artistic, emotional ^^ probably my fav DeG video so far^^ just gotta be careful cuz i'm starting to overstuff the computer.
i checked out my blog in Netscape and realized that the baka na netscape eats away half my layout every time. >.< grrrrrr....
*coughing fit due to growling*
*wince* owwwww... itai...
mhhmmm, what else... i got a gift from my grandparents (yup, by mail). it's a gorgeous...um... table cloth... a flag? dunno. but it's amazing, gold and beige, with a handpainted chinese dragon living on it ^^ utsukushii ^^ and a photo of my great-grandmother (on my dad's side). and this is where it gets weird: i was named after her. AND, i could be her twin sister, we look so much alike! *cough*
weird....
Lochan, love your new blog ^^ tis so girly and relaxing ^^
i'll go, my throat is burning. no, seriously, it feels as if someone had stuck a burning match in it.
huuuwaaaaaaaaaaaa, kurushii... >.<
ouff, feels like forever
still dizzy from hide overdose
june 20th
sound: hide-chan singing "20th Century Boy" (by who??? WHO wrote it??? TELL MEEE!!!)
wai wai, new ummm... color scheme. my html (non-)abilities don't allow me to do more than this at the moment. plus, i like this kind of layout.
and i have absolutely no ideas for a new one. *laugh* there, i've admitted it^^
*general glomps* why does it feel as if i'd been away for a few weeks? >.<; *laugh*
Hori-chan!!! *bows bows bows* gomen gomen gomen for not writing!!! >.< arrrrgghhhh, 'm so lazy, i know, that's no excuse. but now i've seen the unthinkable (Pata agitated, dancing, laughing and skipping around on stage during hide-chan's tour!!! O.O). so i guess i can write. ^^if Pata can be AGITATED, i can write ^^
ooh, a comment on this new... uhmmm.. color scheme ^^; i started feeling down, listening to NIN's Starfuckers inc.
but then i changed to DeG's mask, that's where the blog title comes from. and then i overdosed on hide-chan (waaaaaaahhhh, the vcds!!!) so it all just... yeah ^^
by the way, i've NEVER seen someone as crazy on stage as hide-chan during Oblaat. screaming, running, flinging objects into the audience, flinging himself into the audience, flinging toys and a lifesize blowup doll of Chirolyn into the audience, screaming, jumping, stealing policemens' hats, pretending to fuck some blow up doll and a glass of water, squirting the audience with a water gun (yes yes, hide, we get the symbolism^^), spraying the audience with a water hose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
uwaaaaaaaa!!!
ASOBOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!
