hummus and falafel, please

stupid site #2
09:16 p.m., Thursday, April 13, 2000
in honor, perhaps of cat scan, i think this one is probably a bit more scary. there's something not quite so awful about a squashed and tormented cat being scanned. i'll admit, i actually haven't even LOOKED at this url yet. i'm scared (but i'm going there as soon as i post this).

stupid site #1
09:15 p.m., Thursday, April 13, 2000
so the new york burning man list has been having a bit more fun than usual today, sending in contestants for the stupidest URL possible. this is the first in several submissions. do not even THINK about putting my email address in the "to" field, no, don't you dare. and you better not laugh, either. this is good, sophomoric fun and we're too adult to laugh at this sort of thing.

what have we done?
06:41 p.m., Monday, February 7, 2000
apparently, datapimp provides email addresses to "unique inviduals who want to make a statement."

among some of the domain names available are:

fuckyouasshole.net
youprick.com
shittyplanet.com
fuckithard.com

and at the end, the final two offerings: fuckUCLA.com
fuckUSC.com

hmm... so what you're saying is?

the future of email...
02:43 p.m., Monday, February 7, 2000
granted, plenty of those stupid jokes that come through your email are worthless.

however...

just how silly can you be about an email joke? New York Times is proving that silliness isn't really fit to print.

life imitates art (or maybe not)
01:54 p.m., Sunday, February 6, 2000
sent to a mailing list i'm on, this appeared in the onion...

also included in the post was this bit of news from the BBC...

i'm trying to figure out where i stand on this.

one of those eerily accurate online psychological tests
02:33 p.m., Saturday, January 29, 2000
i admit i'm a sucker for these, especially when they take less than five minutes.

this one really WAS frightenly accurate tho and not in that vague, crappy horoscope way (before you think i'm writing off horoscopes entirely, please visit Jonathan Cainer and Rob Brezny - these guys got it goin' on).

at any rate, if you found this as weird as i did, write me and let me know.

these days you just never know what someone's gonna think is sexy
12:30 p.m., Saturday, January 29, 2000
i've seen a lot of things this week that are pretty sick -in part due to my friend's almost infamous mailing list - hip new york web employees receive each day, on an average, at least three megs of the sickest stuff available on the internet today.

submissions for forwarding are accepted - i'm gonna give him this URL. it fits. it's not as sick as some of the stuff he's sent around, but it ranks up there.

charlie went outta business and ron stepped in
08:08 p.m., Monday, October 25, 1999
this is so insane... it's so insane i don't have a whole lot to say about it here. i'll probably take it to saranwarp.com instead - but basically, you have to see it. friends, this is the web, circa 1999.

"the only web site which provides you with the unique opportunity to bid on eggs from beautiful and healthy women."

as a doner, you have to be beautiful and healthy. they should give this opportunity to say, miss america contendents. gawd.

madonna doesn't speak hungarian doesn't speak english
12:27 p.m., Friday, October 15, 1999
translations generally don't render themselves too well without, well, a real flesh & blood translator (who hasn't spent a bit of time having fun with babelfish?). even then...

here's an old gem from the pathfinder dinosaur, ca. 1996...

outta my way, you asshole!
11:47 a.m., Friday, October 15, 1999
okay... heygirl's pita is back in the ballgame! here's the first choice url of the day... i don't know about you, but as a white girl, i'm not so sure i wanna hang around in south africa these days. especially now that you can soup up your hot rod like THIS. yeesh.

supersnail
07:11 p.m., Friday, September 10, 1999
wanna know what's really so damn cool about burning man? well, i seem to share the same opinion as julian here - it's the people, above all... really.

julian is a most EXCELLENT photographer. I did a shoot with him this year, and I was so incredibly comfortable in front of him that i was amazed. He is SO talented, I am beside myself, and I can't wait to see what wondrous things he did at Black Rock City this year. Hurry up, Julian!

taken in 1986 at 320lbs. I was really drunk at the time.
04:27 p.m., Thursday, August 26, 1999
Props to this guy - who went from 400+ to 187 pounds in three years... And more props for registering that domain name. Way to go, dude.

how to contract syphilis via the internet
05:05 p.m., Wednesday, August 25, 1999
is your mailing list or chat room next?

Alanis Morrisette lyrics generator
05:02 p.m., Wednesday, August 25, 1999
Just brilliant, as is everything else on brunching shuttlecocks... write your own Alanis lyrics today!!!!!

ew
06:23 p.m., Tuesday, August 24, 1999
okay - the first thing that came to mind was "what were these people thinking when they registered this domain name?"

then i had a laugh over "a used pad is a reflection of a woman's intimacy."

Yes ladies, you too can make money off your used pads.

NASTY!

web whore
03:33 p.m., Tuesday, August 24, 1999
because i can't ever shup up about burning man. go see, all my pictures were used too! woo!

Corny Christians at it AGAIN
03:17 p.m., Monday, August 23, 1999
No matter what, it's Satanic. I had a friend once, when I was wallowing in the hell of Southern Baptist belief, who was convinced that just about everything was "New Age" - and hence, a sugar coating on something that just plain led to Satanic activity (oh, if he could see me now, on my way to Burning Man - that heathen, pagan yearly ritual)...

This just goes to show you that nothing, clearly, has changed, in the 10 years since I got a clue. Except, of course, they have more to burn. Ahhh ha ha! She said burn... Hehehe...

shutterbug dot org
06:24 p.m., Saturday, August 21, 1999
i just launched this moments ago (with my friend Mike). Check it out, lemme know what you think.

I can, canoe?
10:04 p.m., Friday, August 20, 1999
Actually, this is pretty dope. I'm wondering if anyone's using it yet? It seems like the sort of thing Microsoft may eventually buy. I can just imagine. First you buy your car at carpoint. Then you make some travel plans via expedia, and then you head over here to icarpool.net and voila, a nice american road trip. Anyway, it's neat. Really. From those lovely folks in San Fran (the same ones who give us those militant bicycle riders). And yeah, I'm a loser, baby. It's friday night and I'm at home. You know what tho? Every night is saturday night to me. And tonight, I kinda feel like stayin' at home. Besides, there's only one other thing I can think of doing on a rainy rainy night besides sitting in front of my computer, but my boyfriend's at work right now.

dhtml freakout
08:55 p.m., Thursday, August 19, 1999
*sigh* i need to learn how to do this.

Mulletude
04:26 p.m., Wednesday, August 18, 1999
Okay, I know, this one ain't nuthin' new... But it's funny, especially when you come from the places I came from - suburban, blue collar detroit (not those chi chi gross isle/point-type suburbs, but the ones where all the unemployed auto and steel workers lived - that's where i'm from), and subrural/suburban atlanta, where girls get pregnant in 8th grade...

i can laugh at myself, and so can you. I'm oh so familiar with mulletude... Never sported one myself, but in 8th grade I had a MAD crush on a cameromullet.

Psycho Urban Cowboys
02:34 p.m., Tuesday, August 17, 1999
presenting a pair of "PCB workpants with perfect medium waist" - the definition of "perfect medium" is, of course, up to you... Other articles of clothing are described as having the "ultimate Scandinavian medium low waist" - so maybe i'm a little fashion-uneducated but... whatever. The whole urban cowboy thing is annoying as hell to me anything. Nothing, NOTHING, I say, is worse than seeing more than one person at a time sporting a cowboy hat (and perhaps boots) at a bar. I so hate blatant fashion trends.

drink more beer
11:07 a.m., Monday, August 16, 1999
okay, so it's not a log of the "web", per se... just an interesting fact sent to me via email:

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

geek love
10:37 a.m., Monday, August 16, 1999
ohhhhhhh! ahhhhhhhhh! woooooowwwww!

um, yeah. i'm not really geeky enough to get my panties wet over this, but maybe you will be interested in this tiny tiny webserver. it's as big as a match head!

fucking cool
12:21 p.m., Sunday, August 15, 1999
Todd at tremble dot com takes time out from the comedy to make a seriously cool point over at smug (no worries, he starts out with the best possible description of bruce springsteens fans i've ever read, complete with reference to an amputee. don't know what it is about todd and amputees, but hey, we all have our fetishes).

weed-eating fungus
12:01 p.m., Sunday, August 15, 1999
This is just great. Imagine all the potential catastrophes that could be unleashed by yet another bright idea from the US government. $4 million dollars has already been spent on this, folks. FOUR MILLION - pennies, to some, but man, the things *I* could do with four million bucks - such as buying a lifetime supply of really good weed. A friend once told me that the only reason alcohol is legal and other drugs aren't is that it's the only drug that doesn't make you want to overthrow the government. No, it makes you love things like football and being american instead. Geez, no wonder they're so afraid.

Let's talk about sex, baby
03:07 p.m., Saturday, August 14, 1999
sorry, a little bit of self-promotion here... If you're not on pheremones, get 'em, now...

ordinary people turn words into sex magick...

please, no generic web email addresses unless you care to identify yourself.

Dookie Dance
02:45 p.m., Saturday, August 14, 1999
Remember Hampster Dance? Remember Jesus Dance? yes folks, this has truly, TRULY gone too far... I give you, dookie dance...

and good god, there's even a webring now. I just LOVE the speed with which the internet pushes memes.

ifihadashaftoflightshiningoutofmybottom
02:34 p.m., Saturday, August 14, 1999
well hell, this here 'weblog' is going to become a repository of stupid urls sent to my inbox...

here's today's first choice url.

do you get it? i don't.

Swine Time
08:39 p.m., Friday, August 13, 1999
A long time ago, a friend of mine and I planned a road trip. We were going to go from Cumming, in North Georgia, to Climax. South Georgia... After seeing what entertains people in good ole Climax, well, I'm glad we never made it.

sunglasses at night
07:09 p.m., Friday, August 13, 1999
hehehe, geez, you think they could just start a new fashion trend or something. Germans everywhere are wondering what to do with a bunch of leftover safety glasses. Sure thing dudes, dump 'em all in Africa...

Peter Me, Baby
12:10 p.m., Friday, August 13, 1999
weblogs schmeglogs... i like this one... i've been cracking up recently reading all of the "i love weblogs i hate weblogs" stuff, so in defense, i give you peterme.com - cuz i like this one. Besides, peterme is much better than MY weblog. Mine's full of BAD crap. Peter's got GOOD crap, regarding Information Design, travel, movies, and oh well, okay, so there's some digipics of him taking down his wall. sue him, it's a personal page for chrissakes, even if he is a tad defensive about it.

William Shatner Acting Simulator
10:31 a.m., Friday, August 13, 1999
With all the talk about the powerful uses of the web (self-expression, e-commerce, etc.), this is one of those sites that once again prove those statements are, for the most part, closer to religious beliefs than anything. Anyone who's seen at least three episodes of Star Trek will appreciate this one.