300802 | 04:10 p.m. |

[GACKT - Mizerable]

Which finger are you? You are the good ol' thumb! You are the family one, the one who not necessarily everyone loves but the one who everyone can't live without. Always willing to lend a hand or comfort a friend when they need it.

290802 | 10:01 p.m. |

[CHOBITS - Ningyo Hime]

I finally got the guts to ask my mother about taking up Designing in University. Well, obviously she's mad at me for not continuing with IT and she told me to talk about it after I graduate from Poly. I really want to write what happened when I asked her but somehow, I don't have the mood to repeat it anymore. Sigh... Told Kero first when I broke the news to my mum, after that messaged Aramis about it.

Kero said that it's a good sign as she didn't say "no" immediately but said to talk about it after I get my diploma cert. ^_^

Sigh... I don't feel like doing anything. But I have to study for my tests. -_-

*Poof~*

260802 | 03:38 p.m. |

[SERIAL EXPERIMENTAL LAIN - Duvet]

It's so damn cold in the Network laboratory. I can't take it anymore!! *Sigh* I should have brought my sweater along. Was so lazy to carry it around since it'll make my bag bulky. And worse!! I have a thick, heavy book to carry to school. I think I have a lame life. -_- Spending my holidays in school doing project or else, it's staying at home and studying for my tests next week. SUPER NO LIFE! Hahaha.

Oh yeah, I went to the Japanese School on Saturday, 24/08/02. It's situated at Changji, pretty near to my place. Haha!! ^_^ Well, why did I go there? Well, it's summer in Japan now, and it's a custom to celebrate the Matsuri Festival, in English, it's called "Summer Festival". There are food stalls, game stalls and performances going on in the festival. I went there with Kero and the #metal_zone people. Well, obviously I didn't talk to them. Simply followed Kero around, or went to queue for FOOD!!

I LOVE FOOD!

Mwah hahahaha... I must bring Himiko Oneesama to the festival next year. Kakaka... and we shall *_* go hunt for food. Oh yeah, I've thought of my storyboard for my 15 seconds animation for my 3D Studio MAX course. It's kind of silly and the humourous part doesn't come until the very end of the animation. Hopefully my teacher will approve my silly story. *Sigh...* still doing my ASP email client. -_- Seems to be weird. Not sure if it's really going to work, since I did change a few things here and there to adapt to my layout and style of the page.

230802 | 02:34 p.m. |

[WITCH HUNTER ROBIN - Half Pain]

Listening to my discman while doing my project. *Sigh...* It's so boring... and I have no idea how to continue my work. >_< It just doesn't seem to work!! Damn... I hate doing ASP. Gah, haven't even learnt it before! That's even worse. Just thrown to do an ASP email client without knowing how to do it. *Slumps on the computer table* Don't want to ask the rest for help. Why? Well... they're all busy with their own parts and they even said before that "they cannot help girls too much or they will be more reliant on guys". So? Yeah, try not to be reliant on some egoistic guys. LOlz. Guys are so egoistic!! And I hate their ego, their crap and whatever stupid things they do or say.

I think I'm losing hope, confidence and faith in myself. Losing all of it slowly. My dreams and ambitions are shattering. I have no idea how to move forward. Stuck in the middle of the enclosed room, where there's no light beyond me. Is there a way to move forward with my dreams? Given the limited amount of time and money.

I simply love this song. Can't stop replaying it. It has some sort of mysterious, sad, hopeless tune. Yet, there's a hint of hope in the midst of the chorus.

Really don't have the mood to do my project these days. Just feel like standing on a mountain, hill or whatever cool-breezy place, watching the hazardous city life from above. Just simply watching, eyes strained, tired of doing the same things over and over again.

Hmm... I feel like redoing my Mad Tea Party site after all this semester. Just feel like creating an all new layout. Oh yeah, have to help Aramis with her webby too. *Sigh...* Why am I always facing the computer? Regardless of my work or even my leisure time, it's always in front of the computer. I need to do something else. Something not related to the computer. Wondering if I should learn some self-defence. Maybe Akido, Karate or Tae-Kwan-do? But at my age, doing such martial arts isn't quite good. LOlz. Should have started when I was young. Or maybe I should learn some music?? Like the piano, guitar or violin. Most preferably the piano. But I don't have much time to learn. Might consider learning it when after I return from Australia. (Note: I am not in Australia yet. LOlz. It's still 1+year more to even stepping into the country.)

If I take up anymore courses, I think the others in my group will probably be mad at me. Perhaps during the weekends will be fine. *Sigh...* Time to go.

190802 | 11:33 p.m. |

[GUILTY GEAR XX OST - Moontide]

Today's 3D Studio MAX lesson was really educating and interesting. Learnt alot, not only about the software itself, but also about my teacher and how I should go about with my folio.

Indeed, he said that the folio should consist of not personal works but work assignments. Something that is recognized in companies and not for personal use. Furthermore, he explained that the works should reflect my independancy and maturity in working with such designing projects. He advised that I should take up freelance jobs or during my attachment, try to get a company who will do such a project. This should add as an advantage to my folio.

Now... this makes things more complicated. Part of my plans are ruined. In fact, perhaps most parts of it. I have to continue planning... -_-

Oh yeah, and my teacher's a full-time lecturer at NAFA. Teaching Visual Communication subjects. Interesting. ^_- He's 31 years old but actually, he looks around in the early 20s. He was from Curtin University. Woah... And he has a really good sense of dressing. More to the cool side. xD Pity that he's a heavy smoker. LOlz.

Need to pour my frustrations once again on my pitas.

I'm really getting sick of sticking to the same crowd everyday. VERY SICK of it... Guys and guys. The topics they talk, don't change much. Talking about girls and many other boring subjects. And now what!! I have to stay together with them throughout the whole time, so that the leader can have a better survelliance over us and our work. Really fed up. Earlier today, he said that we can do on our own. Free to go home and do my stuff as long as I hand in my assigned part by next monday. I am supposed to be free from any unscheduled meetings. And what if I already went home? Still want to keep bugging me where I am? It's very irritating.

Maybe it's partially my fault. I really don't like to hang out with the same group of people all the time. It bores me. That's the reason why I don't hang out with the same group of people in school. And worse of all, some people are trying to tie me down to a spot. I really hate that. Reporting what I do, where I am everytime. It's getting the hell out of me. Don't I even get to have my own privacy and freedom to choose where I want to be and what I do? And at my own privacy? I don't even report that much to my own mother, and why should I do that for a project group? I really don't understand the need to be together while we are simply doing our own parts.

I guess you can see what type of person I am. Someone who doesn't like being tied down. Privacy is my code. Independancy is my name. Freedom is my style.

180802 | 11:51 p.m. |

[HIKARU NO GO - I'll be the one]

I like the page name. "I'm Hermes. I become tamed by devouring my own wings." Wondering where I got it from? It's actually from the Hellsing anime preview. It's interesting.

Who is Hermes? He's the son of Zeus and the nymph Maia in Greek mythology. Also known as the God of Shepherds, this herald of the Olympian Gods is a messenger of the Gods, leading the souls of the dead to the underworld. Not only is he known for his cunning and shrewdness, he is also known for his swiftness and altheleticism. Some famous stories of him are his dealings with his brother, Apollo and Zeus' lover - Io, whom the jealous wife, Hera, kept under surveillance using the hundred-eyed giant, Argas.

Where does the wings come in? Hermes is usually depicted with a broad-brimmed hat or a winged cap, winged sandals and the heralds staff (kerykeion in Greek, or Caduceus in Latin). It was often shown as a shaft with two white ribbons, although later they were represented by serpents intertwined in a figure of eight shape, and the shaft often had wings attached.

About the line "I get tamed by devouring my own wings." Isn't it very much the same as a bird losing its wings and being unable to fly again? 'Tamed' in this sense, can also be seen as losing it freedom and thus obeying someone. Trapped in a cage. Ok... I'm comparing it with a bird. ^_^ Why? 'Cos it has wings. LOlz.

I think I'm a tad too crazy over vampires. In fact, maybe a little too fascinated over the subject. If you ask me whether I believe in its existence, I can't really answer you. Sanely speaking, I'd say no. But if you ask the darker side of me... I'd answer, "Why not?" There's always an interesting aspect of the other kind. Be it the undead or the unknown. Now, am I trully a sane person?? *Evil laughter* Now now, don't worry. I'm just someone with vivid imagination. ^_-

I just went through some crime records and stories. Well, you may be wondering why the hell am I reading such stories... but actually, it came across when I was reading the history of the fore bearer of the name Dracula - Prince Vlad the 3rd. Also known as Vlad the Impaler. Gah... I'm not going to type his history out. It's too troublesome for a lazy person like me. Mwah hahahaha!! I'll give a brief explanation of him.

Vlad the Impaler was the 2nd son of the warlord - Sigismund begifted Basarab. Voivode. Born in Transylvania in the year 1431. Why is he named "the Impaler"? Simply because he punishes anyone he deemed fit, by impaling them. Either from the top, down, or the other way round. A quote from him on how he impaled his victims, "The end of the stake was usually oiled and care was taken that the stake was not too sharp; else the victim might die too rapidly from shock." Prince Vlad was known for his craftiness and his military warfare skills. Attacking the enemy physically will not stop more Turk troops arriving for the battle, thus he used the psychological way of fighting war. Using the Turk prisoners impaled around his castle in the night, with not a single troop or sound, he managed to attack the Turks mentally. Leaving them a deranged mind from what they have seen.

Vlad was also known to watch his victims/prisoners impaled while having a hearty meal, sometimes accompanied with the blood of the victims. Now, how did someone ever get enjoyment from watching others being impaled? It came from a traumatic childhood experience. Being locked in a prison cell and watching the Turks impale their prisoners, Vlad somehow became fascinated with such a sight.

Where did the name "Dracula" come from? Dracula's father was inducted the "Royal Order of the Dragon" in 1431, only months before his son Vlad was born. Foregoing his birth name, Basarab would refer to himself thereafter, and be referred to, as "The Dragon". In the Romanian tongue, Dragon is Dracul. Adding an "a" after the name denotes "son of". Thus, the Dragon's next heir, young Vlad, gained an eternal nickname: Dracula. So... originally, the name "Dracula" meant "the Son of the Dragon" until Vlad's actions changed the meaning to "Son of the Devil".

How did Vlad the Impaler die?" There are lots of rumours about this. Not one answer is for sure. I'm not going anymore further. Need to sleep... *Yawns*

Gosh... I think I'm sick. Sick in the head. xD

170802 | 01:05 a.m. |

[SHIN: XIN YUE TUAN - Si Le Dou Yao Ai]

Woah... I just watched "Wo De Ye Man Tong Xue" starring Nicholas Tse and Stephen Fung. Lolz. Damn funny. Especially when they start fighting. My god... the word "5 HIT COMBO" actually came out on the screen. *pengz* And there are Deathblows!! A movie with action and laughter especially when you play versus games.

Oh... and Nicholas Tse is so cool and handsome. ^_- Kinda pity him for what happened to him these past few months. Lots of unlucky stuff happened on him. *Sigh...* Although I'm not a big fan of his, but well... celebrity lives aren't very interesting to look at. In some cases, I really feel sympathetic for them with the papparazi and the crazy horde of reporters that squeeze the air out around them. ^_^ And with Stephen Fung beside him. Woah... what can I say? Bwah hahaha... The guy acting as "Mantis" is kinda cool too. Especially his fighting stances. Very much up to his nickname. (Or is it his name?) Lolz... and for goodness' sake. If there's such a school, I think the government would have probably shut the school down.

Come to think of it... Nicholas Tse is taking a break from the media world for quite some time. Seriously, I think he needs that break, after being through so much. From what I have seen, he has "grown up" alot. In his way of thinking and actions. This is of course a good sign. ^_^

Oh yeah, I got my Japanese Elementary 1 certificate. Finally remembered to get it from the receptionist. Haha!

160802 | 03:48 p.m. |

Gah... typing in the school's network lab. Seriously, I feel that I am wasting most of my time in school sitting around, walking around, using the computers for personal use. I don't know. But my project group seems to do this most of the time during our meetings in school. Not that I have much to complain, but I need to sleep. Haha... so sleepy now.

Having my Japanese class later @ Inoue later in the evening. Wondering if I can concentrate in class without feeling headaches and sleepiness. >_< It's been a long time since I woke up at 7am. Hahaha! Geez... have a short spelling test as well.

Just bidded something on eBay. It's Yuki Kaori's Earl Cain's bookmarks. ^_^ Interesting. I wanted to bid for the Hana to Yume manga magazines but I don't think I want to spend too much money with my limited allowance left. And there's 1/2 a month more to survive with that tinny winny amount of cash.

I've been thinking what I should do in future. Hmm... what do I exactly mean? Actually, what I meant is extra courses. Heh heh. I'm thinking of taking up manga drawing courses at the end of the year. Maybe during December or November. Well, mainly for self-interest and maybe I can apply what I have learnt for my folio for the University Arts & Design course in Australia. Well, it's all my dreams and ambitions. Just hope that I can actually fulfil it and become a good graphics designer or an animator. *Sigh*

Gah... enough of my crap for now.

120802 | 10:50 p.m. |

[SAMURAI DEEPER KYO - Aoi no Requiem]

Another Fruits Basket Character Quiz. I got the same result. LOlz. I'm destined to be someone alike to Haru, I guess. Why is that so? Maybe the fact that I turn to a different person when I get angry, makes me similar? Oh yeah... and I love to trash things about, curse and swear when I'm so damn pissed off too. But usually, I'm just a dazed, blur, laid back person. Oh, I love Jrock outfits too, but I won't wear them unless I have a perfect figure. LOlz.

Which Fruits Basket Character are you?

I just had my 3D Studio MAX class today. There were only a total of 4 students including Geok and myself. Although it's small, but I think the size is just right. ^_^ There were 1 male and 3 female students. Overall, the lesson was very interesting and motivating. Perhaps it's due to my eagerness to learn the software. ^_^ And with Geok around, it makes learning more lively. At least I have someone to talk to in class. =D Won't be too dead. Seriously looking forward to the next class.

*Sigh* Time to stop warming my seat. Need to get my homework and stuff ready.

110802 | 05:15 p.m. |

[WITCH HUNTER ROBIN - Shell (tv edit)]

I can play this song over and over again. The song is so wonderful, and same goes to the anime. I think it'll just be as great as Hellsing. They both seem to project the same kind of intriguing and mysterious atmosphere and characters. Indeed an anime to watch out for in future. Might consider buying the DVD if it turns out just as "perfect" as Hellsing. Oh yeah, that reminds me, I have to buy Hellsing DVDs next month. I've been putting it off for so long since I seem to always run short of cash.

Oh yeah, here's the Fruits Basket Character Quiz. Guess which character do I resemble most? ^_- I'm the white, and the black. I'm the one with 2 extreme personalities.

Here's a list of anime/manga character tests I did just now:

• Fruits Basket - Souma Hatsuharu
• Hunter x Hunter - Kuroro
• Inu Yasha - Sango
• X/Clamp - Kuzuki Kakyou
• Weiß Kreuz - Schuldich

070802 | 10:55 p.m. |

Someone just tell me why I made this page so RED. Well, you want to know why? Firstly, Alucard from Hellsing dresses in red most of the time. Secondly, it's easier to contrast with the pictures. Thirdly, I decided to go for a bloody mood to suit this cruel vampire.

Which Hellsing character are you?

You're Alucard, the vaguely evil star of Hellsing that is both revered and feared. Always ready to laugh at the weaknesses of others, you can be downright cruel. Lurking underneath all that bitterness, however, is a strong sense of justice and concern for those you care about.

Oh yeah, I need to get this Shaman King character test up too. Wah hahaha, I can't believe that I'm like Kyouyama Anna. Shaman King's Chuang Yi publisher has released book 19. And it's on how Asakura Yoh and Kyouyama Anna met. An interesting story with a detailed plot on their "romance". ^_^; If you can get what I mean.

Which Shaman King character are you?

A day of rest is needed after squeezing the night's juice into completing this online diary site. I've got to prepare for my Final Year Project's presentation tomorrow too. Gott Mit Uns...