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*in the memory of...* shit.. just looked thru shidah's website.. AALIYAH is dead.. plane crash. shit. i loved her. damn. now im sad. Monday, August 27, 2001 12:25 a.m. *the day* well. jammed wif shereen's closet todae. supposed to jam wif marchtwelve too... but rony is down wif fever. u get well bro. we missed ur presence todae. bought myself an MD player todae.. heh. finally,.. the day every working ant waits for has arrived for me. hehe. not much, but will do for now. met up wif the guys... and the one girl. heh. dewi is also sick ... so i hope she'll be ok soon. im working PM shift tomorrow. i havent even bought anything to wear for my grad day. shit. and i hafta cut hair. hehe. must try to figure out a way to get all these shit wifout deplenishing my bank account.. summore on the wed got sorta like a date after my grad ceremony. meet amran today. he cut his hair. heh. good luck on ur last day of work/start of reservist bro. bob n sham were ultra corny todae. sang along to a song by "Starship" at kopitiam @ Opp FAReastPLAZA. its a good day. and i should have let you go. how could i be so cruel. Monday, August 27, 2001 12:20 a.m. *no sensitivity* never has there been a time ive seen u say sumthing u honestly mean. im amazed ur standing still. it dont take too much to be honest to ur self. dont u noe my world dont spin wifout you?.. dont raise ur voice. dont scream. i want my kisses back from you. Tuesday, August 21, 2001 11:20 p.m. *pardon me* you just hafta do things wifout thinking, do you?.. thats what didnt turn out right in the first place and now ur doing it again. why make empty promises especially when u noe its gonna break my heart? i should be calling u a bitch but i wont cos i aint like that anymore. its a good thing i havent committed myself thsi wholy to ur folly or all else would have failed. its raining and i feel like runnig under the rain just so i can wash away the realisation that it has to be this way. coming up till now i didnt noe what to make out of you. so pardon me while i burst into the flames. Monday, August 20, 2001 11:27 a.m. *whatever* too many thoughts to mention. none close to any importance. everything right now is downhill from here. pls look inside of you and try to find my name inside. suprise be not if there is none. now be contented to know im not a burden. just let me go. stop holding this reign cos it will not dissolve in your insipidity. Sunday, August 19, 2001 01:58 a.m. *make a back-up plan* got back from werk ard 4 hrs ago.. now just chilling out in my room.. downloading incubus live videos. they still rock man. i really wanna cover an incubus song for the upcoming sub-c.. since each band will be given ample time. jamming wif m12 @ tampines cc this sun. hopefully. the "mysquaredcirlce" guys have just taken their final mix of their 2 songs from TNT yesterday. i followed them to collect it. ah boy still cheesy as ever. anyway, their 2 songs are good. they look promising.. meet the guys yesterday as well. sigh. im off this mon but ill be starting shift werk. and will be werking from tues next week till god knows when will be my next off day. yes. i werk 6 days a week. and my off days are to my nursing officer's disgresion. sucks. but a man has to eat. i still cant wait till monday. its been a long time since i last swayed this way. falling is not an option. Friday, August 17, 2001 07:55 p.m. *dancing on the corpses ashes* oh well. work really is taking up most of my time.... more than i imagined.. tsk tsk tsk. lets just hope the moolah is worth it. anyway went to watch "my squared circle" jam yesterday at Tampines. they really remind me a lot of brandston but more rocking and has more punk rock in it. lets all support ALI FEST!!!. hehe. pvt joke but it works. hehe. heard from wan yesterday abt some good new concerning m12. finally. what we had worked so hard for will pay its own dues. to all the m12'-vers who comes here religiously to read my shit, HONGKONG sounds fine. hehe. ill be starting my shift work this coming week.. and they gave me my mon as my off day. meaning my next off day will take maximum another 13 days after mon. but i doubt it my preceptor will be that cruel to me.. or maybe he will... nah. the tot of it makes me shiver. imagine working shift work for the next 13 days non-stop? now that sucks. i missed the guys. this weekend has to be well spent as this will be my last long weekend for a long time. oh well. sessioned for unvisual last sun as reny cldnt make it. took pics. aiyah.. all the pics ... i usually alter them b4 i put them up and that takes effort and as of i now i no effort so u pple just hadta wait. oh. and monday will be a good day. if u see me in town just look the other way. the beach resort story moves on to a whole new beggining. i like. Wednesday, August 15, 2001 07:13 p.m. *Constellation* some things can never be explained why every sky still looks the same and i wonder how my world would look without you some things can never be explained like how our scars remain the same and i wonder how the sky would look without my star sleep seems a dream away and a year too late words that can't be spoken stream off my face i want't to be selfish you are my everything some things can never be explained why does your love remain unchanged cause i know it wouldn't be the same without you sleep seems a dream away and a year too late words that can't be spoken stream off your face please don't forget my name and take me with you when you leave i've got a lot to lose i've got to let it go please don't forget my name. Sunday, August 12, 2001 03:10 p.m. *the land of the long white cloud* its been so long.. well 6 days t be exact since ive last updated this humble abode of mine... so many things happened during the last few days.. left a band, went ghost-hunting @ Bidadari, .. sad,.. unwanted,.. the "baquero" incident,.. work,.. the "i-noe-u-dont-like-me-so-just-say-it" incident,... the big cheese. aarrgghh.. fine. watever. it doesnt matter anyway. im jus happy to be living for myself. and living for my payday. dollar-lala-la... its all abt the moolah. been downloading lotsa band video clips during my spare time. took a lot of pix... but too lazy to upload.. some of m12 jam, bidadari,.. and sum more assorted stuffs. just woke up and now feeling all groggy and shit. oh. and i love the song "emotion" from destiny's child. first heard it at my workplace a few days back.. really brought back alot. its actually originally by the bee-high falseto-gees. hehe. must learn the guitar parts of the song. very maxwell. hehe. so wat if im a closet r&b/hiphop fan. hehe. i like/ do not make things too complicated for me cos ill give up and ill lose everything and then you will noe what i really am nothing but a broken man who have left all that he can leave behind. too much emotion. tears on my pillow. Sunday, August 12, 2001 02:02 p.m. *take home a tutti fruity..* well. its been long. sat was an extremely long day. went to work, half day. then proceeded for jamming... where there were alot of alterations to be done as the first studio we booked cancelled our jam. so hafta go all the way to simei. then after jam got caught in the rain big time. thanks to the my squared circle guys for helping us find the place and at the same time attending our jam.. took a long bus ride back to town where we all went to food plus.. the back part. it was like a private party cos only pple we knew were there. also happend to be mirza's bday. went to FUSE but didnt actually stayed upstairs cos was feeling really bored. thanks to adek and ija for making my day. *wink*. thanks. chilled out at the coffee shop downstairs. met djo, muhd, nur, jo, shairy, dil, yan, peishan, mansor, aj, thomas, ah hood and a few other guys there. sunday me was really sick like hell i had ta cancel all of my jamming (for shereen's closet and DPP).. shacked like fuck. u noe what?.. if only u read my diary then u wld find out wats wrong wif our band. and stop pushing the blame on me now cos i noe i didnt do anything wrong concerning the fucking band. im getting sick of ur shit. and dont try to suddenly be the good one on everybodies book by calling secret meetings and all. if u noe what im saying. and stop telling me what to do cos im sick of ur shit. u used to be a good, trusthworthy friend... now ur just one of those pple plotting my demise. so fuck off get a life and for ur info.. treasure what u fucking have. b4 it goes away. me just came back from work and am fucking tired. i need a life. not girls. just a life. i dont even have time for myself nowadays.. Monday, August 6, 2001 06:34 p.m. *day 2* man. i never felt so drained in my entire life. i mean physically wiped out. and its only the 2nd day of work. but there's one thing i cant wait for and that is PAY DAY. hehe. and of course. sub-c. fuck the perak trip cos i got a very good feeling it aint gonna happen considering the amount of bad press heavy music has gotten at m'sia. anyway, bumped into djo djo at AMK on my way home. was nice seeing him again. and saturday. drum n bass here i come. i doubt ill have enough energy to dance but ..... hehe. todae a friend whom ive not seen for a long time msg me.. for all the initiated, she's the "rasa sentosa" girl. heh. missed her alot. me n her are going for our graduation together. does hotel phoenix sound good? hehe. kiddin. went to PS gig at zouk last nite, maybe thats why im so tired. it was a launch for a NUS movie abt kissing wifout tongues.. i mean.. hello?!?! who da fuck wanna french a girl wifout tongues??.. hehe. waggle waggle. that stupid mt kiasi guy was the MC of the night. sucky. anyway PS did four songs. shidah dewi anjas dennis wan faizal adik and sum other guys where there. was fun actually. then summore got a lot of dirty manjens. whores. hehe. then me went back home str8. anyway,.. i need to sleep now. yesh. its 0630pm and i wanna sleep. hehe. sheesh. i miss you guys. and BOB-O-FATT, happy birthday fatman. Thursday, August 2, 2001 06:14 p.m. *the burden of thinking* so this is on. the painful realisation that .... im gonna hafta start waking up early to beat the masses for a space in the public caterpillar. sheesh. that was cheesy. but its the reality i hafta live in from now on. THE day has arrived for me to trade my punkrock shirt to a uniform tha tsymbolises the very anger we sing about. sheesh. another cheesy one. oh well. the cheesedog stilll lingers in the orifice we call mouth. haha. shit. went to donate blood just now... feeling helpful abit. the good thing of starting ur first day of werk on wed is that sat is just ard the corner. and after work later, im gonna head down to zouk to mingle wif the elites.. hehe. no. PS is playing at zouk.. again. but its for a movie launch or sumthing like that. then.. MAMBO JUMBO. hehe. its been a long time. house, baby, house! dont think will be staying that late as.. i have work the next day. i think the line "Im working tomorrow" is being part of my staple excuses to give to pple who i noe just wanna piss me off. hehe. doesnt matter. weekends will be very packed as there's drum n bass @ FUSE and all my three bands will be jamming as all has a gig on september. and to all you dumbfuck-manjen out there, not all pinoy are maids. my mom can buy and sell your asses at whim. Tuesday, July 31, 2001 11:22 p.m. *flowers in the window* went to see travis jus now at the SRT. i thought it was gonna be a meet the fan session,.. and like peishan, i was ready as hell. bought alongt papers, markers, 2 cameras. but alas, it was not meant to be. it turned out they were shooting an MTV thingy and they just need pple to fill up the audience part. pple who are not even on the supposed "guest list" where there. sheesh. call that shrewed marketing strategy on their part. watever. anyway took a few pics of travis getting in their tour bus. heard that they went straight to the airport. oh well. good for them. met wan and hafizd and chilled out at mac's till princess dewi herself showed herself. haha. then went to borders, and i asked amir to reserve for me the DEEP ELM 2001 sampler, and the new drowning man EP (DROWNING MAN STILL LOVES YOU) .... shld be getting them next week or sumthing like tat. then had my 2 hotdogs from orange julius at BK liat while waiting for the rockstars to arrive. and.. to our bro from marchtwelve.. HAPPY BDAY RONY!!!! i promised him chocolate for his bday and.. i now its kinda cheap... but i got him the hershey's sundae pie from BK.. its the thought that counts right??.. uh. ok. explanations come to numb cos its has been heard and said so many times. i understand why. no need for explanations as your just wasting your efforts. i noe u didnt mean to make it sound this way but its ok. im old enough to take it. i still dream of you. my genie ive jus added the PLAINSUNSET pics taken at VIVA for their post gig launch. acoustica. hehe. a few more years.. and they will change their band name to sunsetica and do a world wide unplugged tour. Tuesday, July 31, 2001 02:02 a.m. **--june--** just got back from the fareastsquare gig. was .. ok lah. the usual pple. cept wifout the crew. cos they all went to watch travis/coldplay.. anyway im meeting travis later at 0230pm for the private "meet the fan" session though i hafta admit im not really that big a travis fan.. but since i got the chance to be one of the 30 pple meeting them in person then,.. why not. and djolapalooza asked me to have one of their autograph that says "to: melissa". she's now in aussie. oh well. favour for friends are always fine wif me. hhmm.. and im listening to the penfold cd now. finally. hehe. cant wait for their new album. check em out. totally rad dudes. and to norsham, i wasnt drunk nor joking when i said i hate cute girls from now on. hahah. or maybe its a state of self denial. but then again im such a bitch. i wish my luck could change. 2 more days to work. and already im feeling lethargic and sick abt the whole thing. but a man has to eat. nuff for now. Monday, July 30, 2001 12:23 a.m. *spinsters* yesterday was definitely how i wanted my last weekend before starting work ended up. went to have dinner wif me mom,.. and the martini vodka just kept on coming. hehe. caught last few minutes of dyfectra jamming @ TNT. then went over to madeline tan's (maddy) house. fucking hell. got lost on the way.. seems like places like those where she stay arent very popular wif cab drivers. everyone was like having the ever popular "wwooonngggg!" effect when i reached there.. hell.. i was already pissed high in the cab. hehe. anyway..uh.. jon, shairy, dewi, gerald, sham. aj, maddy, elaine, EJ and mr-the-man-leo himself. its been a long time since ive last seen leo.. i mean.. i really feel for that guy. a lot. he's like suffering from things we've only seen in the movies.. i hope he gets thru this. anyway took my first shot of V.. then EJ concocted that was meant for jon (i dont know what the fuck she put inside).. and we all noe well that jon doesnt drink anymore.. so i took the drink for him. and.. that was it. the wong-ness came back. heh. and basicaly they were like challenging each other.. in terms of like "..uh.. ill mix a drink and anyone who drinks this gets to kiss.. my ass" kinda thing. was a lot of fun. then dewi had ta go back.. i love maddy's dog. her name is Snow. i wonder whether she is an *informer*.. hehe. or maybe a nikibombom man?.. heh. a lot of us was .. i mean mos of the pple who drank was like totally pissed drunk.. hehe. and sham bought new shoes.. i like. now i hafta get ready to go to the gig at far east square.. hehe.. got a feeling todae is gonan be a fun fun day.. hehe.. *smirks* hahahahahhaa. have i told u was invited to watch travis this monday at Merbau Road (opp. Robertson Quay Hotel). its like a private function and only 30 pple are going.. hehe/ will be goin wif mr shereen's closet. hehahaha. Sunday, July 29, 2001 12:20 p.m. *karate come from inside.. not book.* had a really nice time last nite wif the boys.. went to catch PS/Fishtank post-launch gig @ Viva Music. was nice.. PS sounded like a more aggro version of dashboard confessional. . anyway it was an acoustic set.. tok some pics of ps. meet peishan, maddy, .. congosham, the driniking squad and the 666 crew.. pple whom ive not seen much lately cos i was very busy finishing up some pre-work stuffs.. and yes, im starting work next wed. wellwishers can buy me dinner from now till tuesday nite. hehe. then chilled out at kopitiam wif everyone.. took pics ther too.. the guys and me stayed up till ard 0400am b4 taking the NR home.. it was a good day. this is me sounding like a cat in the heat.. heh./ nice green top u wear wearing. nice smile too. too bad even though we were face to face no words came out. i love my gameboy. soputanotherpennyinandturnthecrank untiltheframesceasetomove andthemovieturnstoaphoto aphotothesizeofakissihopesheknows Saturday, July 28, 2001 01:33 p.m. *the space between* so. this is it. marchtwelvbe is finally gonna do SUB-C!!! it like.. "Debbie does Dallas"!!!.. heh. that joke was only for the elites. hehe. will be on sept 8, but venue still unconfirmed. seems like its gonna be an "EMO/INDIE/PUNKrock fest. anyway heres the so called line up.. marchtwelve, plainsunset, surreal, gloria, sherene's closet and return to fall. meaning me, ronny and sham are playing for two bands on that day.. hehe. me for m12 and shereen, ronnoy for m12 and ps, sham for ps and rtf. hehe. shld be fun.. so that puts my early sept in a busy mode. first up will be the perak gig (if it happens) on the 1st of sept.. and all this coming 1mth after i start werk.. hehe. oh yah. work. still havent registered in yet. sucks but have to make do. or i go hungry. and dirty. haha. todae seems like a long day.. gigs, supper and ciggarettes. i hope i see you todae and that by seeing you i hope it makes my day and i hope you'll see me too and i hope that makes your day as well. spike it up. Friday, July 27, 2001 02:00 p.m. *im tired.* had a long day,.. went to do sum stuff for cincerning my work (i.e. uniforms, details when to start, check ups, blah blah blah) i think ill be officially the first nurse to ever have an online diary here in singapore.. hehe. i hope so. todae was a good day until some pple expected me to do sum things for them that they can bloddy well do. do u understand when i tell u that im busy? or u morons just dont care at all? what the fuck is wrong wif u guys?? when u pple are busy wif ur own stuff i let you pple be. and im sick of tired of always being the one who pulls the strings to keep this shit together. and you. you just dunoe how angry am i wif you. u claim to be my friend. yet you talk and plan abt how to get rid of me. give me some ample respect to tell me instead of other pple. this is the 2nd time u did this. let me be straight to the point here. just because i "looked" at you in a certain way doesnt mean you can go and plot of my demise in your own world. YOU were the one who first started to bring you own personal problems in. im sick of your shit and your ideological nonsense. i live my life the way i want it to be, and im not out to please every goddamn mutha fucka you want me to be nice too. this is my life not yours. go live your own philosophy's and values and i'll live mine. dont come to me pinpointing out things that u deem is wrong, cos thats what i am. if you cant accept the fact then im sorry i dont live up to your expectations of what and how you want your band members to be. i have enough of pleasing other pple and i think you should too cos alot of them dont really give a shit as to what you and i do. you want to kick me out, fine. ill help you by loosening my hold on this thing we started out and thought would have been fun. do u noe that i feel that keeping this alive is like a job?? i dont want to relive what happened between me and my previous band. as ive told you, before i got involved in this, that i dont play what you want but ill give it a try. i stuck wif you through thick and thin and this is what i get? fuck you. and just cos of one point that i get pissed at your nonsense you do this to me? and to you. another one. what attitude did u say i was giving you?.. dont you noe that pple have more important things in life to do? why cant you understand that fact?.. i was the one who defended you. im buys means im busy. cos im trying to get my life straightened out. thats what im busy abt. and i thought you were the one who cared. your just one of them. thursday comes and i think thats the time were i have to decide whether or not i can take more of this shit. and dont come up to me getting angry and all cos i wrote this down here. this entries i do are for the pple who cared. and this is my fucking diary so i can bloody jolly fucking hell write watever the fuck i want. by the way i had fun todae wif sham, wan, dewi, yamani, rina, and our fave punk rocker, mirza. thanks for the bag sham. and dont forget me thursday nite. Wednesday, July 25, 2001 12:07 a.m. *groupie* hah. today is one of those days that i woke up pretty early. went to meet deanna for pool, allison came to meet us after her lessons. hah. east side girl gets lost in bt timah. anyway allison has vowed to be a full time plainsunset groupie/number 1 fan. haha. she was singing ps songs all teh way,.. and is even contemplating on doing a PS tatoo above her misfits tatts. hehe. cool. hehe.. got an sms from dewi last nite concerning marchtwelve.. thanks jon. for the support. and the suprising fact was that at ard 1plus shamster called and me and his first lines were " where u?,. dating ah?" hehe. if i was dating sham, you'd be one of the first few amongst the elite to noe. and just for the record im still waiting/hoping for spiky hair to notice that i do exist. hehe. she's so cute and adorable. but then again, like your most typical love story/moviebluffs, one of the lead cast is a so called part of the "high class" society while your's truly, the hero (hehe. its my diary so i get to be the hero) is a nobody. so it takes a miracle for spiky hair to notice indierocker. hehe. what a dream im living in. doesnt matter anyway. cos it forever has been and will always still be ,.. just a dream. and ill be entering the REAL world on august 1st. i have to start adopting to the lies, sex, and videotapes. hehe Monday, July 23, 2001 09:11 p.m. *never* how do u pull it off? ... "oh pretty baby, you're so naive, .. but it comes of so cute". maybe its just you. or your spiky hair and nice smile. i guess this is the only place i can tell you all of this wifout actually telling you. im confused. if you happen to end up in this shithole i call my home, please leave your marks. its all i need. Monday, July 23, 2001 03:22 a.m. *find a way* just woke up, and my whole body is aching from the aftermath of yesterday's events. went to zouk for the Plainsunset / Fishtank cd launch. met dewi first at bt batok. she just got her results, and she passed.. way to go! everyone was so happy wif her. anyway managed to caught Moods doing soundcheck. sabrina look joviant as ever. hehe. we then grabbed a few beers at zion rd b4 heading down to zouk for the start of the gig. everyone who is in music was there. the place was like pack to the brim. Moods was the opening act. and they blw me away wif their soulful ala portishead kina vibe. good stuff. then fistank took to the stage, and did their stuff. but the band ive waited for finally took the stage. while PS was setting up, i was in the front rows together wif djohan. the band was sisnging along to the song "find a way" which was being played from the cd's . found out later on that the PS guys were a bit nervous onstage during set up cos its the first time pple were singing along to their cd on a gig. the atmosphere was all built up and they went on to play their first song. (forgot the title, the one nizam sings on). they even did "program". but the 2 songs that really did move me was "find a way" and "plainsunset". for the "plainsunset" song, i sorta did the emo dance, and sham saw me and did the same thing. hehe. even though i got on the head by the kids who were moshing, it didnt matter. cos we have waited for this for so long i love ur blue sleeveless shirt and pedal pushers and snickers and spiky hair and cute face and nice smile and cute dimples. too bad im the opposite of whatever ive used to describe you.. its doesnt matter anyway cos your always wif him. even though i sorta like mix ard wif the important and special pple, ive never been one of them. this is me, this is the strawberry metaphor. now go on and weep. Sunday, July 22, 2001 03:58 p.m. *felt like its over* sigh. things are not working out. todae was the first time i started questioning if i still want to do this anymore. the fun is gone. the laughter has faded to a long face. i think i need a break from this but circumstances prevent me to. why must all good things come to a sad ending. especially sumthing ive learned to love. u do not order me. u do not noe me well enough so do not jusdge me, my actions, my character, my friends or my decision. ur lucky time is on our side. or ull be just a statistic. we do not have the same vibe anymore. so dont go acting liek ur some goddamn hero in my life. i have my own pple to fall onto... at least five of them. and thats enough for me. it was nice hanging out wif you again wan. i noe i was blabbering nonsense but i noe u understand. u urself said im the only u dont feel intimidated to talk to. cheer up emo kid. Saturday, July 21, 2001 04:31 a.m. *state of love and trust* todae was an eventful day. HAHA! went to meet a friend at hereen. then we went to play pool at katong,.. following which we went to tiong bahru then took a cab home. haha. so that was it pple. dont come up to me and say "so give me the details.." .. cos there aint none. im honestly saying nothing went on. it was jus a friendly date. nothing more.. (wait.. isnt that an marhctwelve song?? ... hehe). and if ur reading this, i had fun todae. but i still miss the strawberries. sigh. Friday, July 20, 2001 03:01 a.m. *pussy galore* damn, think my fever is coming back again. stayed at home the whole time till abt 7plus when i went to a friend's place to let him see our video. hhmm. oh yah. for all u punters out there.. the Calliope GIG pics are up. go check em out. nickelodeon rocks my world Wednesday, July 18, 2001 11:54 p.m. *she moved wif me tonite.* the fountain at suntec sucks. dont ever go there if ur alone. it gets too goddamn depressing. haha. was there wif sham, dewi, wan, pul and amran today. drank some beers,.. ate ice cream. what a life we have. but i love the guys (and the ever solitude girl, dewi). had a... very nice day chatting todae. haha. 50% of my holidays have been spent in front of my pc. now that shld certify me a loser and a seat on losers hall of fame. i love myself. and you too. now give me a hug. Wednesday, July 18, 2001 03:45 a.m. *basking in your aura..* finally converted to cd the video my mom took of us performing. if u want a copy let me noe and ill sell it at $2.. just to cover up for the price of the cdr. if u have ur own cr then thats better. anyway.. watched the bloody thing 5 times man!! wow. haha. stayed at home the whole day.. but will be goin to heeren tomorrow to spend the $50 voucher my mom gave me. mos prollie get a new shirt for this sat's event at zouk, which is Plainsunset's cd launch.. haha. will hafta wear tight jeans. hahaha. and of course the new shirt i decide to get later on. i feel like i need to tear of my skin. let the new skin come out. maybe it will be a better day. be well. nanoo nanoo./ Tuesday, July 17, 2001 01:03 a.m. *fuck you* oh yah. i almost forgot an incident that happend last sat. after out set we chilled at the alley for awhile b4 janicide's set. this certain person whom i noe but cldnt give an inch of shit abt walked passed us. being the nice person wan was, he asked how she was doing. to which she replied that she's fine, and asked abt wan's gf... in this manner.. "so where is that one??" to which she was referring to wan's gf. u noe what? keep it in your head that pple have names. maybe i shld give u a new name but i noe i will just laugh and u will be all red wif anger. so stick it. ur so full of it. no wonder u are were just a passe in my life. its like i plucked a big bogger outta my nose and flicked it away in a matter of seconds. Monday, July 16, 2001 02:08 a.m. *visit me* wow. i hit the 1000 mark. thanks for the pple who religiously goes to this pathetic excuse for a website. 1000pple.. hhmm. anyway went for the subc gig jus now. and i wasnt dissappointed. cos i came for plain sunset, and they showed me what i came for. the feelings, emotions, vibes and grove that this band shows makes foreign bands look bleak. hah. anyway they did two new songs, 'julia' and 'checking email'. and i saw peishan again after a long time. we always seems to bump to each other only at gigs. sigh. watever. some pple are not as tough as they portray themselves to be. marchtwelve should record soon. cos thats what pple have been asking abt us. a cd of our songs. hah. but... all good things comes to pple... aargh. fuck it. i love my fingernails. and myself. if ur reading this i hope ur ok. dont cry. and dont carry pple's bags of fetch them. Monday, July 16, 2001 01:53 a.m. *with honey and lemon..* wow. what a bloody day.. i was so freaking tired at the start of the day i dragged dewi to take cab wif me to proceed to the soundcheck for the gig. many thanks to dyn for filling in the drummer's seat for us for the soundcheck as our beloved drummer rony was late. funny thing abt this gig is that i wasnt excited abt it. nervous .... yes.. but that was when we started out set. but i guess thats pretty normal.. everything was fine. the set was awesome.. and i got to do my "mario and luigi" jump for the new song.. it was like.. someone was telling me.. "fly fatboy.. fly!!".. hah. never have i jumped so many times in one song. usually is once a song.. but that also applies to DPP only.. so today was a first. we played our set for our friends. not for you who tried to push us around like we were under your armpits just cause you run the gig. u dont hafta tell us where or which side of the stage u want us to enter.. cos honestly.. that aint an important thing. its not as if we would have offended your superstitious or prententious beliefs. the only person i can thank is angela cos she was the only one who was at least nice to us. and didnt segregrate us. but then again.. we wldnt noe what goes on behind our backs. and the funny thing was.. we were told that no cover songs are allowed.. yet .. only moods, marchtwelve and janiced were the only bands who didnt cover any songs amongst the lot. what irony. we hanged out wif the moods pple at the begginnig of the day. which was extremely fun cos i was laughing and joking wif the guitarist (lucky bastard.. bought his marvelous guitar for just $200.. fuck!!) abt the funny things that were goin on the gig. hah. sab and the rest where pretty much their usual selves. i love my friends. though the ydont do it tha often.. they still make me feel special and that i have a place in their lives. anyway.. back to our set.. we were pretty much having fun. i was extremely lucky the roland amp i used for the gig was behaving well wif my combination of digi/analog effect. which was suprising. thanks to all the pple who helped us for the gig.. sham, dyn, and the rest. we are what we are so dont try fucking changing or ordering us around cos then thats the time wherein i will treat it personal. and you dont want that. my bands and music are whats keeping me in one piece now and u cant take that away from me. im still your friend and u bloody well keep that in mind and i dont let bastards get away for hurting special beings who i feel close to. though its not my business,.. if u go over the line i will fucking hell make it mine and you better find a safe place to hide your head unless u want it detached from that pathetic body of yours and u noe damn well im capable of that. Sunday, July 15, 2001 03:24 a.m. *jaw glass* can you get me strawberries this sat ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? i always love the small ones cos they taste better... i wld love that... and ill let u noe.. everything u ever wanted to noe abt silence. Friday, July 13, 2001 03:30 p.m. *take me away* im dying. ive ben so sick the past few days. i dont noe if i can give it my all this sat for marchtwelve. i wish im not feeling like this.. but then again if ur having fever wif a temp of 41degrees... i guess i shld feel this way. i love you. i noe u noe it. hah. but i noe u never went up wif me cos ur too scared.. fast effective relief. is there any soothing reaction to this? i guess not. i guess to much. i noe this is not what i want. i think im hallucinating from my demise. id love to eat strawberries now. take me away. dont walk away.. Friday, July 13, 2001 01:25 a.m. *click me please.* heard fom numbness they were gonna play some songs from the calliope comp cd n passion 99.5fm at 10am today... so i made the effort of waking up early just so i can maybe hope and even by true luck hear our songs being played. turns out they played janicide ( a damn good punkrock band ) and of course the organiser's band, killed in traffic... i mean playing in traffic. their song is like 7 minutes long. within those 7 minutes they cld have played 2 more songs instead. sigh. u do the maths on this one. the organiser plus a guy from Tampines CC was interviewed.. though i pitied the guys cos 1stly,: he wasnt given a mike, he had to shout from the back. 2ndly,: he wasn't asked any questions. i mean.. is it cos he's a guy?.. then the opera girl get to talked. ah. im just bitter. and very pissed. and for the listeners.. the calliope gig is not the first "GIRL FEST". last year i was glad enough to be able to play in the REAL very first GIRL FEST(ready, set, go gig!). which feat an awesome lineup. im still sick. i hope i get better before the gig so ill have the same 'gusto'. and i swear we're gona rock their asses off. of course.. i have my own suprises.. Thursday, July 12, 2001 11:21 a.m. *stoopid greek god..* i dunnoe why. firstly, i never got excited abt the gig this sat,.. now.. im so pissed abt the gig this sat. i mean.. come on. have u pple ever heard of punkrock?.. why must u tell me what to wear?.. guess what.. ill be shocking alot of pple on that day including ur VIP. so sue me. its always been abt emotions. and this time im not faking it. not anymore. so sue me. or better still,.. make me look stupid.. i noe u always have ur stupid ways. but get this straight. whatever it is... this sat will be from my heart. and thats all there is to it now. . . . so suck my kiss. Wednesday, July 11, 2001 06:38 p.m. *stop spinning* what the fact did u mean when u said we had attitude?? ur just a nobody u dumbfuck. a nobody. u got no more hair lah, so let it rest u dumbfuck. ur pissed we didnt trust ur work so we did it our own way right?.. well learn this u balding-british-slanging fuck.. we dont even noe who the fuck u are to begin with. haha. if it was another one of us who got pissed wif u... u'll get a "and.. u are??" kinda treatment. and if u fuck wif us on sat you'll get to feel broken bones on parts of ur body u didnt even knew had bones. nuff said. marchtwelve jammed todae and it was good. cept for the abovementioned incident. im getting a sore throat. i miss being in love. i think ill start the whole hurting-process again just for the sake of getting what i want. even though i noe i usually dont get it.. and thats fucked up cos i always go for things i noe i cant get yet i go thru hell to find out i cant get it the hard way. im dumb. by the way the PEK KIO cc gig PICS are up. enjoy. oh,.. and by the way.. just cos ur pics are on my site doesnt give u the fucking right to steal them and place them on ur sites. at least have the common decency of ASKING before u take. and at least credit the person who took the pic (.. meaning me u morons) Tuesday, July 10, 2001 03:08 a.m. *weekends* i wanna kill that indian driver. the one driving the NR3. he always seems to miss my bus stop.. chee bye. 3 times oredi i took the bus and he missed it. what a twerp. sheesh. anyway sat i went for the HC gig at pek kio. actually the place quite nice to do gigs... might do the noisefest there. see how. saw anu and liz.. missed them so much. they were very happy upon seeing me, and we immediately decided to go to treffpunkt this week.. maybe thurs. to catch up. to bitch. to gossip. to see if i still have it in me to actually talk shit abt pple. haha.. merry men and his meery ppple. haha. anyway, gunshot mundaze's set was extremely good. will hafta call this band to play for "thisfineday pt 2".... its good to see the good ol HC scene is still striving and harder than ever. SMD's set was.. well... u noe. extremely hilarious.. esp when u have yamani drunk and constantly trying to body surf. even though the damn band has stopped playing.. haha. sunday went to the UNVISUAL fellas plus sharil.. they jammed at LIQUID FIRE. then we went to eat at Bencoolen street.. after which i called Yud and decided to meet him at CMstudio. he's doing fine i guess.. wif new tatts and all. the looks of a beaten man is very much instilled in his face. i hope he does ok in the future. anyway jamming wif m12 later at nite. i just hope we can get madnor. hard to contact that bugger. haha. and i hope wan is felling much more better now. i hope too much. Monday, July 9, 2001 01:05 p.m. *new pics up!!* go read the topic. the "breakdance cuting" pics are up. hahaha. enjoy. goodness gracious.. Thursday, July 5, 2001 02:51 a.m. *i had the chance to kill u and i didnt* i dunnoe why i am not excited abt out upcoming gig. i guess... this is a good sign. maybe now i can get DRUNK b4 the gig. haha. this time wan and i will be dead drunk. hah. maybe we'd get rony to take a sip or what... no no no.. i think ill treat him to chocolates the whole day so he can be damn hyperactive!!.. haha. anyway we jammed yesterday.. and id say it felt good. we might be pulling off 2 new songs on the 14th.. heh. damn rocking sia the new songs. fuck all that preppy shit and stuff. went out wif dewi and she was bithcing abt her past life during the later part of the day. hah.. which is a side of her ive not seen all throughout out friendship.. hhm.. let me see. . . i guess ive known her since 96.. but really got close to her only during 97 i think. but who counts anyway?. all i noe is ive a got a buddy for life in her. i guess is the popular "connection" that sham always mentions.. haha. i look ugly in the juice zine.. oh yah.. that was during the drum'n'bwass party. haha. all of us were goners... but when the girl from juice approached us and asked if she cld take a pic of us.. evryone got a bit excited. haha. oh well. i need to lose weight. fast. anyone noes how much a liposuction cost?.. uh.. anyone wanna sponsor me?.. heh. or maybe ill just get sum skinny pple to suck out all of my fats using some really large bamboo poles. haha. im in a state of mind wherein i noe it wont go wrong for awhile. sucky part is my bro is not.. i really wish he is doing well. pple like us dont deserve this kinda shit. but then again i guess everyone doesnt either... but its just that this things happens to all the good pple. it doesnt pay to be a nice guy nowadays. oh and i miss my bro-wif-the-most-punkrock-job-eva. i wish our luck wld change. and yes, ill buy me a new shirt for the gig. its a fucking ritual so u better fucking understand why i do it. its the same as.. uh... brushing ur teeth b4 u sleep.... oh and did i told u we are number 70 on the mp3 emo charts. im horny. does that help??.. heh. Thursday, July 5, 2001 02:01 a.m. *remembering me.* i tot so. im getting nowhere. the airplanes dont seem to create the same buzz they do to me in the past. the harvest is bleak. no pink fruits in sight. the "further adventures of" will never come to light. picking up my mistakes from where i left them, cos i sumhow feel it doesnt make a difference anymore. how i wish u saw me crying and how i wish i strangled ur neck when i had the chances.. cos if i did, chances are i wld have been a better flyer. Wednesday, July 4, 2001 05:39 p.m. *154* yes. thats rite. thats our status in the emo-charts at the mp3.com yep. number 154. outta 2000 songs. so. no claps? fuck u. i dont need none. im happy wif wat i do. heh. funny how much happiness u bring to pple.. then only to find out that THAT happiness caused his grief. im sorry. u noe who u are. im sorry for being indirectly the cause of ur grief now. and to u.. i dont care if ur bright or not. remeber what i told u when u started it all before u ended it?.. i told u.. never to break his heart. or else. now comes the 'or else' part. but be happy. i dont lay my hands on the fairer sex. all i have is my hate and anger for you. but then again its not worth it. ill just pretend u didnt do anything to him. and ill try not to make this my business. have a nice life. hope u find what ur looking for. and i hope this thing comes back to haunt u. to the former "reaction".. im sorry for how things turned out bro. if only i knew.. then i wldnt have pushed it to you. we have the 14th to pour it all out. jus remember "out of pockets".... Tuesday, July 3, 2001 02:30 a.m. |