[moral.right]
In disrespect
I lose my right of being respected
In sneering
I lose my right of being seen as an equal
In cruelty
I have no right of being treated with mercy
In judging
I lose the right of pardon
In indifference
I have lost my right of bein seen as a human being
In unfairness
I lose the right of demanding justice
In hating
I am no longer worthy
In helping
I have earned he right to be helped
In tolerance
I have earned the right of your patience
In brushing away your tears
I have the right to be heard
In forgiving
I have the right to be forgiven
In loyalty
I have earned the right to ask of you the same
In sympathizing
I have earned the right of your sympathy
In loving
I have right of the same love in return
How many of such have you demanded
With no indication of paying the price
What moral rights have you forfeited
To evolve and end in your demise?
-- ella
i love this... :/ so true... thought provoking...no?
delusion on 09:37 p.m. Thursday, May 9, 2002 .
[givenatsomelovewontu]
PLUG!!!
everybody go give nat some <3 for still being nat even though might have changed, but natalie still all the same. because she has a heart. because she sounds sad... because she was a gd friend and still is
but mainly just for her being who she is! inside outside upside downside all nat. :) : ) :)
delusion on 11:08 p.m. Tuesday, May 7, 2002 .
[psycho? ooooh.]
What Psych-Ward do you belong to?
delusion on 10:50 p.m. Tuesday, May 7, 2002 .
[thought.provokin.my.sentiments.exactli]
"To some extent sanity is a form of conformity," he says. "People are always selling the idea that people with mental illness are suffering. But it's really not so simple: I think mental illness or madness can be an escape." - John Nash
i love him!!!! or rather his quote!!! :S Extremes are bad not like his quote but somewhat like his quote. i really really like that quote...... its so.... :X
delusion on 10:57 p.m. Monday, May 6, 2002 .
[excusemywaffle]
Hmm. Just popped into my brain.
I started out blogging quite a long time ago... That was at blogspot... My blog would probably go like "narrating this that this that" -yawn= like anybody wants to know about that and I WOULD probably care about who reads it? Not that I don't now but they just seem to fade away anyway. Then it would have progressed to the "screw this and that" stage... probably whining like hell. Yes, I whine and I know it, you don't have to remind me time and time again. Then it would be now? No wait the progression between that screw thingey which I still do now ... i think I'm not exactly very sure... and the vague-ness. Or at least from what khin said. I wonder if anybody understands. But hmmm, I blog for myself... mainly... I guess. Not so much for who and who to read, or for "oh it's so cool to blog wad" "everybody does it i have to do it too" that kinda people. In fact, I hate it when they do it THAT way. eeeKs. What ella said is very true. Sigh. You'll just have to find the 'right' kind of blog that fits you... more? I dunno.
Am i very vague? I think its more for whoever who is probably supposed to understand... I mean, the person would understand... i guess ... i hope, if its meant for him or her? If not, it'll just remain him her him her... "huh"? :X shrugs.
I still don't like people who narrate. Whining is fine, (I can't condemn it if I do it too right?) but not overdone I suppose? Some blogs are really really nice to read... they tell you so much about the other person... that feeling.... but... Others? Glance say byebye. Is mine like that? Ah well, nevermind. I guess it doesnt really matter ... does it?
delusion on 10:41 p.m. Monday, May 6, 2002 .
[goawayyou]
I hate the feelin of being cheated... don't you? Yes? No? Yes no? bLeah. Me doesn't like those people who pretend to care when they don't, lie and pose like for the sake so that they'll be "oooh she's so cool he's so" blahblahblahshit who lie who... fake who turn out to be someone I thought they were but they are actually not. Go away, I'd rather you not.
Ya?
delusion on 10:33 p.m. Monday, May 6, 2002 .
[ah.]
Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You? quiz, by Angel.
delusion on 10:32 p.m. Monday, May 6, 2002 .
[ergh]
Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.
delusion on 10:11 p.m. Monday, May 6, 2002 .
[wad friend?]
delusion on 10:10 p.m. Monday, May 6, 2002 .
[eh?]
Oh the sentimental side of life! You are the fourth finger, the ring finger as it is sometimes known as. You value emotions and the small sentimentalities of life. Especially dreams of that you-know-who...
Which finger are you?
Take the quiz to find out.
delusion on 11:35 p.m. Sunday, May 5, 2002 .
[hermmm]
Hehe. Now, what am I doing online at this hour? Bleh. Humph. Derek left. Ah well, he beat me 4 times in a row!!! Argh. How kek is that eh? >:O That stupid black ball!!! It must be a conspiracy. *grins* I'm actually supposed to be doing my maths and my art but heck with it, shall do it at khin's house tomorrow. :):):)
Learnt to play real life pool today. -grins= fun!!! :) Hmmm... now, why does my computer speaker keep seemin like that's radiation? o.O Sigh. I'm rubbishing. Oh well, byebye. Oh wAIT!!! I almost forgot! Plug her him her him her him her him. :) because they all had new layouts at one point or another and they all rock in their own ways!!! :D Hmm. I hope I didn't miss anyone out! Btw, I love sam's new layout!!! <3 <3 <3!!! And Nat has improved like "woah~~~". She's getting so good!!! -jealous= hehe. -grins= btw, I thought that video cam of you today at public speaking was "lol". :D:D:D
delusion on 12:45 a.m. Sunday, May 5, 2002 .
[im nuts but thank you.]
Came back at around 10 ++ from suntec after taking the bus 75 for like donkey ages? My kor's a nice person, and no he has NO ill intentions. He's just like a brother, geddit? :D NYdC is fine... I guess. I was too full. :( Ah well. grins. Am I really like a small kid? Herm... everybody says that I'm like a 'cartoon character' a small kid (I'm 5) or cute or something. Ergh. :S Ah well, oh im maddie too. :) maddie@erraticated.com, niceeeee? :D grins. He feels 15 around me. grins. Ah well, Sam - making you feel young once again. :D
he messaged. didn't know how to reply him. don't really feel like talking about it. hrm. and he never has any reaction. "i shall not care". :D
delusion on 11:16 p.m. Friday, May 3, 2002 .
[events]
its amazing how much emotions can be triggered off just by losing a piece of art work.
i want to be a kid again. not just a kid kid but one who doesnt really know right from wrong. one who has no worries. one who doesnt know the heartache. one who wouldnt cry. no tear ducts perhaps?
can you tell me the point in living, please?
delusion on 11:59 p.m. Thursday, May 2, 2002 .
[BLARH art. :(]
argh. im so irritated. dunno where i left my art. damn. that's what happens when you're forgetful and well... herm. !!!! ARGH. its due tmr... actually last monday ah well. and i got ss today but i din go. :'(
delusion on 09:48 p.m. Thursday, May 2, 2002 .
[is...]
sam...
is a poseur.
is sad that sam is a poseur.
hates poseurs.
hides behind a mask and looks smiley and grin-ney all the time.
is nuts. its a way of hiding. better to be mad than sad.
cries.
cries with her pillow.
hates birthdays.
is sad.
delusion on 10:19 p.m. Monday, April 29, 2002 .
[06541327]
You are seeking protection against anything which might seem to be exhausting you or tiring you out. It would appear that you are seeking a life of security and physical ease, free from any problem or disturbance.
You are looking for something different. Your imagination has been working overtime and you are seeking adventure - and you'd like to share that adventure, the new experience, with someone like yourself: Imaginative, Enthusiastic and Sensitive.
You feel unhappy because you feel that you are not able to obtain the co-operation of those around you. All you would like at this time would be to achieve harmony within your circle.
From every direction there appear to be unwarranted restrictions on your freedom of action and this is producing considerable stress. You're really looking for independence and freedom from any restriction and therefore avoiding any obligations or anything which might prove hampering. You are being subjected to considerable pressures and you would like nothing better than to escape from them but you tend to lack the necessary strength of purpose to succeed in this. Whichever way you turn you are being frustrated. You need to be free to do your 'thing' in your own way.
You are fed up with other people trying to influence you and you also feel that it is necessary to protect yourself from the threat that your independence and freedom may be restricted. You would just like to be left alone.
delusion on 09:58 p.m. Monday, April 29, 2002 .
[happy?]
a sad begining
a sad middle
a happy ending...
or so i thought.
why? feeling sad once again. shouldnt have cancelled. shouldnt have... why bother? sigh.
meaningless you know.
words show more.
sometimes
thanks to you you and you. yes, thanks. but. you, the closest. the closest? i have nothing... nothing to say.
perhaps. im asking too much.
delusion on 09:29 p.m. Monday, April 29, 2002 .
[yay. thankyou]
grins. thank you!!! thanks kor. for that. you really made my day. i thought it was gonna be deja vu again. just like the previous year. another happy 28/4 ending with a lousy :S ending. but yes, thanks. :) :D !!! thankyouuuuuu for being such a sweet dear. really. yes. thanks.
ooh. thank you all you lovely lovely people :D yes, you too. even though u were too (ahem) shy to give me my prez. :P ok fine. i shall be :D
hah. oh ya. went to tchsco. now don't ask me why i went ok? i have absolutely no idea. well, besides the fact that it was paid for (grin) and well, urm. im nice. :D hehe. but bleah. ok. it was fine lahx. i liked one song. the xi you ji one.... it reminded me of a band song! hehe. niceey. oh ya, excuse the bad eng won't you? o.O and i didn't know yunfei was my snr's cousin. o.O i think...
delusion on 11:27 p.m. Sunday, April 28, 2002 .
[blarhz]
blah. You stupid computer!!! Trust you to get infected with a virus... again. >:O
I hope the whole neighbourhood ain't angry with me for being a noise pollutant (?). I've always been scared of practising my trumpet at home. It's loud you know. Very loud. What's more, my playing isn't what you would call, fantastic. In fact more like -eek. yucks= :S
Something tells me this is going to be one grouchy week again. Another year going to pass by. Another sad day. Oh well, it's time to get used to it. Thanks kor, though, for that e-card. :) Sometimes, simple greetings, letters just make my day. Hmm, I should be doing my homework though. bleurgh. yinkae!!!! Ack! How to do the geog comparison? I lied. I haven't done it yet. :S
Oh well, tomorrow's going to be one heck of another busy day. Most likely another busy sleepless, panda-eyed day. bleurgh. German's exam on 30/4. Trust them to put it on that day. humph. Now, I'll have to mug like hell on the day before, considering that I haven't passed any of the last few tests and half the time, I have absolutely no idea what's going on in class? bleurgh. ah. bye.
delusion on 09:58 p.m. Saturday, April 27, 2002 .
[frustrated]
I can't be pms-ing. Hello? Who pms-es like the whole month through? But do tell me why I'm starting to become whoever I am? Sigh. She gets on my nerves. her too. Argh! It's not like they did anything to me... well she didn't anyway... so why????
delusion on 09:22 p.m. Friday, April 26, 2002 .
[hm.]
oopx. i haven't been blogging for a long time. Been feeling dead tired because I've been coming home at about 10 plus every day. The RJC band rocks, like totally. Pity though, I was feeling really sleepy. Sigh. What a waste! I liked their encore!!!! Plus the last piece; Ireland: Of legend and lore. something like that. Sigh. It's so difficult trying to type properly- in PROPER English. :X
edit: ooh. The TCHS band concert was quite nice too. I thought their encore sounded a bit funny though. Oh well. :) Hmmm. I didn't fall asleep at all. The first concert I didn't fall asleep at. Grins. :) I was too busy trying to hear the 'christmas tree'. Their bass is good. Loud and clear. Sigh. We must jia you. -feels inspired and motivated= we must!!!
On a different note, is anybody interested in helping me do survey? I think we've been enough of a nuisance to that school already. But anyhow, that's beside the point. Please, anybody? Sigh. :X I'm getting desperate, with my deadline drawing nearer. Email me, if you can... please? -hopes= :X
bleurgh. proper english looks funny sounds funny. oh no. :S
delusion on 11:23 p.m. Thursday, April 25, 2002 .
[eggs]
What kind of egg are you?
delusion on 08:10 p.m. Friday, April 19, 2002 .
[grins. that's my phone!]
Which Nokia handphone are you?
delusion on 09:43 p.m. Thursday, April 18, 2002 .
[now one really muz plug]
YOW! Nat's new layout is so nice i have nothing more to say. really. i mean it. (sorry nat, i din know you had a new layout darlin) sorry. PLUG her! Now, she really really rocks. btw, i think you've improved by leaps and bounds dear girl. :D and no i wasnt daoing you. i wont dao you!
history... if finally done. grins. not very good. (accding to somebody, 'sucks' isnt a very good word to use so i'll try to have betta vocab ya?)
delusion on 11:18 p.m. Tuesday, April 16, 2002 .
[grins. yay!]
lalaa~ i improved my 2.4 timing. grins. fine. its not a big deal, the new improved timing to all you who run like... -bish= but its a big deal to me ok? i failed my 2.4 before like how many times? i cant remember. bleah.
heh. im still stuck with history again. havent finished. results of procrastinatin. always the same cycle dont you think? ...
oh ya, toni and sam have new layouts!!! they both rock in their own ways. go give them some love!!! grins. okay. back to history and sci. bleah.
delusion on 10:25 p.m. Monday, April 15, 2002 .
[iluvcolorgenics]
At this particular time, you are feeling that you are or were unjustly and undeservedly treated and/or betrayed in your hopes and dreams. You feel that everything is against you. But look on the bright side for you are, whether you believe it or not, a survivor.
You are a leader and possibly at this tine in a position of authority, but you are experiencing problems. You are not quite sure how to handle the present situation.
You give the impression that you are a self-sufficient individual, pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain or pleasure. But this is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional person, one that may make hasty decisions and perhaps repent at leisure. It is time now perhaps to break the bond of detachment and become the real 'you' - the you that you would like to be.
Your stress and anxiety are a result of an emotional disappointment. It could well be that the emotional relationship is no longer running smoothly and you have come to the end of your tether. On the one hand you would like to free yourself from this relationship altogether, yet on the other hand, you don't want to lose anything nor risk the uncertainty of throwing away something - something that's precious, something that could be the 'Real Thing'. Perhaps for the first time in your life you really don't know which way to go and it is these contradictory emotions that are causing you the untold stress. You are pretending to the world that you don't care but even this air of pretence is causing you much heartache.
You are moody and depressed at this time but it will pass. All of your hopes and dreams seem to have gone astray and you are fearful of planning further for the future. Disappointment at the non fulfilment of your hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety and you try to escape from this by withdrawing into yourself. But that is not the answer. You have the power to succeed, believe in yourself... all is possible to him who believes.
delusion on 12:14 a.m. Saturday, April 13, 2002 .
[bitchedup]
im sorry im being such a bitch. but if you think that you feeling shitty is going to make me feel betta because you're ALSO feeling shitty. then im sorry. it doesnt work. perhaps, you would like to realise that. sometimes, things are not all about you? ya? yes, fine. its not all about me too. but MY world does not revolve around you. just in case you didnt know.
(/bitch)
no i do not want to feel shitty at all. get my point? sigh. forget it.
im sorry.
edit: thank you so so so so much. just. for listening.
delusion on 12:03 a.m. Saturday, April 13, 2002 .
[icry]
i feel really stupid. crying over something. something that is so. less. seemingly so unimportant. so small. what's wrong with me?
yet, my tears still fall freely.
delusion on 11:54 p.m. Friday, April 12, 2002 .
[ihateandihate]
hate doing individual for work that's supposed to be group. i hate all of you. fuck u all. go to hell. like saying aww. poor thing is going to help. always ready with your sarcastic words. theres something called hurt you realise? or maybe you dont. judging people. expecting them to help you when you cant even give a shit abt them when they they're all broken. or maybe you pretend to care. you you YOU. thinking that nobody can understand you. that you're too... up there. high up. nobody is capable of understanding you. when you dont even give them a chance anyway. and can you say you understand people then?
damn you. why are you always like that? whats your problem? self pitying. stand up. i know you can do it. you have no choice but to do it anyway. nobody is going to care about you, are they? THEY are just a bunch of people who on the surface pretend to care. but of course you know better dont you? you know that in the end, when it has to be you or them. nobody is going to give a damn about you. shut the hell up. go. faith.
delusion on 11:38 p.m. Friday, April 12, 2002 .
[roxmysox]
grin. vanessa mae and bond iz de best! :D w00tie. love the music. grins. i should come up with a wishlist.
on a different note, yinkae darlin;
grins. the geog was fine lahz. considering i didnt listen much to the other groups presentations anyway. they were all boring. well, ours was a teeny weeny lil bit different? grins. oh ya, at least ms sia seemed to like it? then it doesnt seem that bad... she told me that when i met her outside 210 after geog. :) so it wasnt that bad yeshie? -pats yinkae=
ooo. i just realise that im a lil bit grin-ey? ergh. ok not a bit alot. oh well. u should see me smiling at my comp like im a lunny... shrugs.
delusion on 07:53 p.m. Friday, April 12, 2002 .
[geesh.]
from here:
and and... a girl's blog from another class was ordered to be closed down cos a member of the public wrote a letter in when it found out about the web. cos she was slamming nanyang. WTF?! it's her opinions, her rights. if you order her to close it down, it'll be like... adolf hitler.
well im not too sure about the adolf hitler part but that's ridiculous. geesh. and in the first place right, it was cos she linked to another person's site who had foul lang? sheesh. how lame can you get? whoever you are... -rollseyes=
delusion on 08:06 p.m. Tuesday, April 9, 2002 .
[birthday girl]
shucks this is one (R)a movie that i wanna watch? grrr.. >:O stuooooopid. oh ya, black hawk down sux. like totally. no plot? or so it seemed. so stupid. bleah. oh. and i wanna watch this too. :) yay! et. :D lalala~ bleah. havent watched i not stupid yet. :( or that mandy moore show... wads the title of it again? :X
delusion on 07:44 p.m. Tuesday, April 9, 2002 .
[french horn?]
The Band Quiz By Rahel
so sad... not trumpet. :( lolx.
delusion on 07:34 p.m. Tuesday, April 9, 2002 .
[sporky :)]
what kitchen utensil are YOU?
delusion on 11:34 p.m. Sunday, April 7, 2002 .
[humph.ure.older]
happy birthday jo!!!! grin.
delusion on 12:17 a.m. Sunday, April 7, 2002 .
[common sense]
[22:11:32] *** Now talking in #nygh
[22:11:32] *** Topic is 'http://www.idiot.com/html/obit.html .. now let's observe a few minutes of silence..'
[22:11:32] *** Set by sriel- on Sat Apr 06 20:14:08
delusion on 10:16 p.m. Saturday, April 6, 2002 .
[alessi]
grins. one of those things that look cute but are damn exp. hehe. went to the showroom today. lolx.
delusion on 07:32 p.m. Saturday, April 6, 2002 .
[regret]
to you:
at first i was kinda angry. then it seemed pointless. after all, you were the one who probably called me a bitch. and if u wanna say that, go ahead. i have nothing more to say. you are entitled to your own opinion. i may not know the whole story. yes, you may have your reasons, you may just be joking around, not meaning whatever you say, but if you take pleasure in doing this, to this extent, i can only say that i really regret knowing you. someone with such childish immature behaviour.
delusion on 05:49 p.m. Saturday, April 6, 2002 .
[wishlist]
woot. tokyo kosei is having a concert in sg. now, that's one concert i wanna attend. sadly, the tix are well not overpriced cos they are really good but way unaffordable for me. -sob=
delusion on 05:41 p.m. Saturday, April 6, 2002 .
[colorgenics]
At this time you are really feeling quite exhausted by all the conflict and quarrelling that is going on about you and you are looking for some sort of protection from this state of affairs. Ideally you are seeking a peaceful condition and a tranquil environment in which you can be afforded the chance to relax and recover.
You are an emotional and sensitive person. You are inclined to delight and wallow in all things that give pleasure to your senses but nevertheless your tastes are refined and you reject anything that is indecent or vulgar.
Your confidence has been shattered. There are so many things that you would like to do with your life, so many dreams to be fulfilled - and you know that your hopes and dreams are not just figments of your imagination, they are real and you are looking for reassurance from someone. Basically your fears are such that you may be prevented in attaining your hopes and dreams. Even now you would like to broaden your fields of endeavour but in order to develop your 'inner- self' you need peace and solace. You are distressed by the fear that you may be prevented from attaining your goals. What you really need at this particular moment in time is quiet reassurance from someone close to you to restore your confidence.
Unacceptable restrictions have been forced upon you and this is resulting in severe frustration and stress. You are looking for independence and consequently you shy away from any restriction and avoid obligations of anything which might prove hampering. You are being subjected to considerable pressure and want to escape from it so that you can obtain what you need, but unfortunately at this particular moment in time you lack the necessary strength of purpose to succeed in this.
You seem to be always on the defensive and that is because you have failed to establish yourself in a manner consistent with your own high opinion of yourself. You are trying to prove yourself with inadequate resources and this has resulted in considerable stress. You are trying to escape from these excessive demands on your reserves by adopting a defensive attitude in which you refuse to be committed or to be involved in further unpleasantness.
***
take the test at colorgenics. i think its one test which holds the most truth in it as yet.
delusion on 05:33 p.m. Saturday, April 6, 2002 .
[goddess archetype]
delusion on 01:10 p.m. Friday, April 5, 2002 .
[which candy are you]
discover what candy you are @ stvlive.com
delusion on 01:09 p.m. Friday, April 5, 2002 .
[missed me? :P]
w00tie. im back. yup. all sticky and sleepy but heck. it waz quite okay. :) i guess... shruggz. first day was a bit boring? second day, we went for 'orientering' and it sorta turned out to be more like a scavenger hunt instead. sob. we din win. but oh well, it was fun. grin. lol. we won somthing? the song thingey. hehe. "gotta be strong, believe..." lalaaa~ dead tired. oh, and second day night was creeped out. some girls said they saw ghosts and well, they were erm... :X its sad. cos its like i dun think anybody believes them but they believe they did saw. so, very frustrating and depressing. sigh. telematch was amusing... and kinda stupid. ack. gtg shower then im outta the door. :X
delusion on 12:52 p.m. Friday, April 5, 2002 .
[plug!!!]
w00tie. plug!!! i like this!!! very unique. grins. well, at least the first time i ever seen something like this. grin. very nice.
ooh yesh, toni has a new layout (again). grin. i did mention she was the layout monster right? lol. and she calls that temporary. sigh. some people... >:O grr. -jealous= lol. hehe. i like that poem. used it before on my last layout. grin. nice right?!?! :D
grin. im in a very good mood cos i kinda finished packing? though my sleepin bag is somewhere in outer space having a nice chat with my bag... the bag that im supp to put all my stuff in but oh well. leave that till tmr morning. hehe. true procrastinator to the end.
hmm. maybe it's cos khin said the other day that i dun seem to write much. and suddenly, i write alot of crap? sigh. shenjingbing. :$ lalallalaa~ :D
delusion on 11:03 p.m. Tuesday, April 2, 2002 .
[camp]
lalala~ off to camp. lol. its 10 and i haven finished packing yet. wanna sleep earlier :) been slping late for the past few days. hmmm. to shaun: the gbook's ... click on number three its there. grin. :P yup. sigh. anybody know where that uk fair/carnival thingey is at? causeway pt? i wanna goooo!!! looks so fun on tv. the 360 degrees ride. grin. :D
delusion on 10:03 p.m. Tuesday, April 2, 2002 .
[introverted? hmm.]
 |
You are a very conservative and introverted person. You live in your own world and you're not very easy to approach.
Which Blogging Tool Are You? |
delusion on 10:01 p.m. Tuesday, April 2, 2002 .
[archives]
oh ya. btw the archives are here kinda screwed up cos i wasnt reading the instructions properly and was just clicking all over the place? yup. 3 links there but all linking to kinda the same stuff. bleurgh. :) just f.y.i anyway. :)
delusion on 11:25 p.m. Monday, April 1, 2002 .
[geog]
ACK!!!! i left all me geog notes in school for my test tomorrow so well im one screwed chicken now. why chicken? dunno. pop out of my head. :(
yinkae is dear sweet girl for helpin me with notes. yay!!! :D wishing her all the bez for her geog tomorrow. you must have confidence in yourself yesh? im sure you can do it. and SLEEP EARLIER. :$ lol. :)
having lifeskills camp in school from wed to friday, well that is if i dun fall sick and stay home i guess. everybody's sick. ergh. so, yup, if i dun have time to come online tomorrow, hiatus for me. grins. :D short one. i dun think it really matters cos im hiatus-ing half the time anyway. lalalaaaaa....~
delusion on 11:19 p.m. Monday, April 1, 2002 .
