| My Score: 12,755 Centipede
Frogger
Snake
Galaga
Post your scores, bitches. Only condition is, you have to post the first score you get. And no excuses. I'm tired, I have to pee, and I haven't played these games in years. So no excuses from the rest of ya! =P 
Keri: Huh? Me: My thong with the stars! The green one! Keri: Oh, it's next to the window! Me: ...o_0? Keep in mind, that we were at Keri's house, so she just knew this off the top of her head. 0_0; Rei: But the church doesn't have pr0n. Mmm. Satan. AKL: It's some good tasting soup too. Me: Everything's better when you're naked. On the back of a random letter I received today: Dear Jesus, We pray that you will bless someone in this home spiritually, physically & financially. And please dear lord, bless the one who's hands open this letter. Make good changes in this one's life and give them the desires of their heart. We pray over and bless this letter in your holy name. Amen. Does that make me Jesus? d00d. I pwn. But inside, was this "Church Prayer Rug" that you're supposed to stare at and eventually I'll see Jesus' eyes opening. When you see Jesus' eyes open, you're supposed to kneel on it and pray. Then you take out this little checklist, and you check off what things you want Jesus to grant you. The last one is "Pray for God to bless me with this amount of money: $_______" ...BWAHA. >_<Well, for good news, I got a perfect score on my two C++ projects, and on my C++ midterm. Because I rock. Bad news is, I did the wrong project for Microcomputer Applications, so I have to resubmit it. And I still have a ton of Math homework to do. Me and my bright ideas. "I can take the max amount of courses, I'll be fine!" If I wasn't myself, I would kill me right now. Frozen Silver: You all speek befor knowing what were all about. Were about indavidualisum though exspershion.
Strangely enough, everybody shut up. XD But I got my 2 C++ projects, plus my midterm done! And my Micro App projects. And all my discussions and lectures for the week. And a stupid test. Now I just have to finish math, but I'm gonna do that tomorrow night. So yay! Unfortunatley though, I was looking for some softcore yuri sketches (not because I'm a pervert, but because I needed them for a reference for a picture I was drawing - honestly o_o), and accidentally got ahold of some nasty virus shit on my computer. I would scan for it, but the scanner I use is online, and it won't let me go anywhere on my browser. I'll see if I can do something with it from THIS computer. ...in the morning that is. *brain splodie* Goal: Get my license
Goal: New blog layout
Goal: Get a Job
Goal: Make a portfolio
Goal: Get about 30 pieces together for the Tulip Festival
Goal: Get an art exhibition set up
Goal: Get through my 1st semester of college without killing somebody
Goal: Sign up for my Spring courses
Goal: Seduce Lowell
Goal: Get a solid workout program going on
Goal: Work out something with a local prints shop
Goal: Go to the U.K., take the game I payed for, whack the guy over the head with it, blame him for breaking it, demand a new one, take back my $20 and storm out in some odd dramatic way.
My photography is done, I got that done on Wednesday. I started reading in my other C++ book from the beginning, so that hopefully I'll understand a little better. I'm pretty confident in the two regular projects that I have to do, but I don't have a very good feeling about the midterm. X_X I haven't done Mic App yet, but that's no big deal. Anything in that class takes me 5 minutes anyways. So I could do that at the last minute if I need too. Today I've been focusing on my Algebra homework. It's going...about as I expected. Slowly, because I keep taking "breaks". But to give myself a kick in the ass, I told myself that I can't play Neverwinter Nights, SM:AS, FFX or go on Gaia until I get my Algebra, Mic App and most of my C++ done. It'll either make me work faster and get shit done, or just sit here and whine for another couple hours. ...*whines* IM Topic 6 IM Topic 7 IM Topic 8 IM Topic 9 Discussion Estimated Time: 7 Hours C++
Microcomputer Applications
Photography
Total Time: 32 Hours (min) - 44 Hours (max) ================================= Wednesday Schedule
Thursday Schedule
Saturday Schedule
Sunday Schedule
And with that schedule, I have a whole one hour to spare, before everything is considered "late". I hate college. No, I don't really hate college. I HATE C++. The hours that it takes to do it will be greatly cut down if I actually figure out how to do the shit properly the first time. But does that ever happen? With anybody? No. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go jump off a fuckin bridge. >_<
*insert orgasm here* Okay. I understand that there's alot of people out there who self-injure just for attention. And yeah, it's annoying as fuck. But just because a handful of people do it, doesn't mean everyone does. Up until recently, most people never revealed that they self-injured. It was something they kept secret. And if it's a secret, they're obviously not doing it for attention. But some people can't get this through their heads. Telling people that they should just kill themselves because they're being morons is NOT the right way to go about it. Self-injury is a DISEASE. It's a CONDITION. It's SERIOUS. It's nothing to be joking around about, and nothing to encourage. Just because a few spoiled rotten little brats had everything they wanted in life, doesn't mean we all do. And no, self-injury shouldn't be the answer to that. But you know what? Shit happens. People make mistakes. And if others would stop encouraging this, and making fun of people for things like this, maybe these mistakes wouldn't be so frequent. I can't even HELP people anymore. Because everytime I do, I get some fuck flower with their head up their ass, coming in and telling me to go shoot myself in the head. >_<HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY KERI!^____^Firstly, some basic info. Vampirism is considered a disease. When someone has this disease, they are said to have a problem keeping any type of energy. There are two ways that these types of people get that energy. Some, by ingesting blood. Others, by drawing energy from either other people or nature. There are alot of beliefs tied to Therianism. Basically, it's based on being a "werewolf". Just nothing like the movies. Many believe that one is human with the trapped soul of an animal inside, or one was an animal in their past life. Things along those lines. It's said that this person goes through many "shifts". All of them are mainly mental, like taking the form of that animal in your dreams, on the astral plane, etc. It's also said by some that it's possible to transform physically. Also, it's not always a wolf. Any type of animal is possible. Otherkin(ism O_o) is like Therianism, just not with animals. Just with mythical creatures, such as griffins, Faeries, Angels, Demons, etc. etc. etc. The person isn't fully any of these, it's said that they're something like half. Born with the soul of this or that. Most of the informative sites out there make it clear that these things are a disease. That it's not like the myths. Vampires can be out in sunlight, Therians aren't hurt by silver, etc. There are no superpowers, they're just like everyone else. As far as vampirism goes, I think people make it to physical. Maybe any human can get a high, or experience a great increase in energy by ingesting blood - but only those who have done it, realize it. Any human can draw energy from emotions, from nature, etc. Whaddya think Tai-chi and the like is all about? I don't think it's a disease set to certain people. I believe it applies to everyone, it can give anyone more energy. But the only ones who realize it, are those who are open enough spiritually. All Psychic Vampirism is, is deep meditation. Anyone with a sense of their own spirituality can do that. Drinking blood could be compared to those healthy energy drinks that some people get. Some would fight this by saying that they always felt that there was something missing, that they never had enough energy. Well, when I was 5, I used to sit on top of my big rock outside and meditate (not that I knew what I was doing, but that's basically it). As I got older, things like that weren't "cool". So I started feeling not-so-energetic. Then, I started mediatating again, and I felt like I got that energy back. That's not a disease, it's just a spiritual realization. And all the little traits they have in common, such as heightened awarenesses, better speed (not by running, but writing, typing, etc) and other such things, are common to anyone who's intuitive. As far as therianism and otherkin..erm..ism, I'm not sure what I think about it. I haven't really done enough research to make a judgement. I'm not gonna doubt that there was at one time, or still could be mythical creatures. I'll keep an open mind. But my main belief right now, is just that some people are more intuitive than others. Some are more sensitive to energies. For example, I believe in lost souls and wandering spirits. I also believe that some people are very very sensitive to these types of energies (as well as other energies, from any living thing). I think that "therianism" and "otherkinism" is just due to people who feel these energies around them, and instead of taking them for just that, think that it's them, that it's something inside them. They try to become the energy that they feel. And then take it to far. Of course, it could also be that in a past life, this person was a...eagle, for example. In this life, they have a big connection with eagles. It's common, it happens. It's just spirituality. Atleast that's what I think. Well, kind of. I don't know what I believe spiritually right now, but I think that this is the best way to explain vampirism/therianism and the like. It's spirituality, intuition and openminded-ness. Just taken to far. Humans by nature have a great desire to be special. To be better in some way. I think that that's what makes all this go to far. "Contains the entire EVA DVD set (1-8) in a stylish art box complete with a remastered DVD 1 and the fixed insert for DVD 2!" Original price is $169.98, RightStuf price is $152.98. Buuut! They have a special sale going on from now until December 24th, where you can get it for $39.99 with a special coupon code! Click here to see it. When purchasing, enter the coupon code 12days to get $129.99 off! Hopefully Dreaming Cities will be roll-over as well. And NOT be d6. I hate using d6's in a campaign almost as much as I hate using d4's. But we're using d6's in the current BESM campaign now. Pah. Which is interesting. Because Tri-Stat dX uses any dice, Ex-Machina is a Tri-Stat d8 game, and Sailor Moon is designed as a d6 game. And of course, everybody's stats are at one extreme or another -_-; So depending on which stat your looking at, we could be rolling anywhere from a d4 to a d8 or d10. Too much converting and blah. But that should change later in the campaign, I hope. Speaking of SM - how come the one show I love the most has to be a complete pain in the ass? There's so much legal bullshit of who owns Sailor Moon, and who calls it what, and who can do what with it. DiC originally owned Sailor Moon (the first season). ADV films owns Sailor Moon R, but only calls it "Sailor Moon". Some other company (Geneon? I don't remember) owns Sailor Moon S and Super S. GoO originally had a sub-license to SM through DiC (Acronyms are fuuuun!), then DiC wouldn't renew it, or couldn't, because someone else had it, or something, and something else. It all boils down to cookies. And bullshit. Cookies and bullshit. Smidderdinkles. ¬_¬ 
Kyo-chan is MY bishie. MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE. o_o Makes me wonder why I'm doing Ex Machina as a futuristic campaign. Psht. Kids can't even cause trouble anymore! What fun is that? Well, okay, I don't mind waiting for the membership, but there's a few things I want in their bargain bin, that only stay there until they're out of stock, they..all gone. They've got a whole bunch of Dirty Pair Flash VHS tapes, and they're only 99 CENTS! x_x; Pah. Ah well. It's worth it considering what I just bought for Lowell. ^______________________^ Bwahahahaha! Now what does everybody ELSE want for Xmas? I didn't fight it this year, so neither can any of you. Nyah =P So, I still have my job. But that's because I haven't talked to Scott yet. I'm leaving one way or another. So he can either be nice to me, and I'll give him a 2 week notice. Or he can be an ass, and I'll tell him to take his job and shove it, and then he'll be screwed for the rest of the week. ^______^ I'M UN-SICK! Yay. But now I'm bogged down with school work. THESE PEOPLE ARE INSANE. If they weren't inside my computer (o_0;) I would kick them. I can't wait until Xmas. I'm already starting my shopping. Snow, though. I can definatley wait for snow. Speaking of shopping, I'm joining RightStuf's anime club. It's only $12 a year, and I get 10% off all my purchases. They're spiffeh. They've got anime VHS's for $0.99 ^___^ And speaking of Xmas shopping, I started my abnormally long Xmas list. It's mainly ruled by LOTS AND LOTS OF J-POP. I want the L'arc en Ciel CD more than anything T_T;
aljdflkajslkdjflkajsdlkjfkajsdjfakjsdklfjaksljdfjasdjf aljdfjaslkdjfljaslkdjf aljdj Much frustration. This past week (ish..week and a half?) has been one of the worst that I've had in awhile. And I've had alot of bad weeks. But most of them were full with personal problems, things I could control (even if I didn't know it then). But this past week (ish) has been FULL of uncontrollable really bad unforseen...stuff. The latest being that I may have lost my job. If I haven't lost my job, then my job will be hell from now until I quit. Why? Because I took a sick day. My manager was pissed because apparantley, it's not his responsibility to find staff to work, it's mine. So now he's bitchy because he had to work when he shouldn't have. HE'S THE MANAGER FOR GOD SAKES! He's supposed to take care of staffing problems, cover when it needs to be done, etc. Not my fault he's an idiot. So yeah, he told me that I either go in, or arrange to talk to him because he doesn't know where I'll "go from here". So I'm gonna transfer to a different Stewart's before he fires me. X_x; Because even if he doesn't fire me, my job will be HELL from now on. Rawr. That was today. Oh, and I had to cancel my dentist appt with I feel bad about. And it was the first day of college. Blah. So it doesn't sound all that bad, these things could be so much worse. But it's the small stuff that I have the most problems with. Hit me with one really big thing, and I'll find a way to handle it, but all of this small stuff, on top of alot of other small stuff that's happened, is just ..merp. merp merp. lajdklfjkdjlfjakljdk. In other news, I'm gonna start selling support bracelets for all those awareness causes. I'm not quite sure why. o_o; Just sounds like something I'd love to do. ^^; Okay, I'm gonna go pump myself full of more of this ungodly crap that's supposed to make me feel better. xx; Moonlight Ritual (3:10:43 PM): Smidderdinkles. venom92788 (3:11:10 PM): what are smidderdinkles? lol Moonlight Ritual (3:11:29 PM): 'Tis my word. The word of Lau. It's like the BIBLE. Just shorter. And more interesting. venom92788 (3:12:11 PM): 'does it have pictures? cuz the bible dont have pictures and it upsetted'd me:-( - Cast magic mouth on the victim's sword. Upon the drawing of the weapon, the mouth speaks only insults such as "You hit like a girl" or "Why not just wear a dress?". - Forge an official letter from some government-type (earl, duke, ...etc...) to the victim demanding their presence at their high court at some time some day soon. They will attend only to be turned away. Later, forge another letter from the same person demanding their presence at the next meeting of the court since they didn't attend the last one. They will be turned away again. Finally, forge another letter telling them there is an official warrant out for their arrest due to their refusal to appear at the court. Sit back and watch 'em sweat. - Paint your local elf black. - Slip a "Amulet of Protection from Good" inside someone's back pack and invite them to accompany you to the High Temple of Healing and Justice. - Cast alarm on someone's chamber pot. I would be afraid to play D&D with the people who wrote this book. ^^;;; Bwaha. This is the first I've gotten into Kisekae dolls. I started tonite because I wanted to whip up some graphics for the characters in my SM/Ex-M campaign. But so far, it's not working well. Because all they have is Sailor Scout outfits, and I need more than that. Because the characters aren't Sailor Scouts o_0;;; Pah! So, yeah. Aren't I cute? Don't you wanna buy it for me? ^^; *falls over* Str: 11
Race: Halfling
w00t. o_o; DOOM!Pah. If I hadn't bought a bazillion pairs of thongs and high heels this past week, I'da been fine. Pah. Pah, I say! After this, I'm gonna put 3/4 of my paycheck away each week, to make up for all my damned spending. I've gotta save up enough money for Xmas, and for hunnie's ring, and other such things. No more shoes, thongs or sailor moon for me! (We'll see how long THAT lasts --; ) Ah well. I have a $161 paycheck this week before taxes, PLUS I get clerk incentive, so it should be a pretty nice amount. I need $20 to pay for the rest of my ballet stuff that I'm picking up Thursday, and $30 for the week. So hopefully, I can put $100 in the bank. w00t w00t! There'll be more available in the future, but not all at one time. I can only have one of each type of thing up at once, so I'll rotate every week or couple of weeks. I'm to cheap to buy an account, Free is good. ^_^ Anyways, the link is www.cafepress.com/cafeaulau. I'll post a permie link later, when I'm less loopy. Speaking OF cafepress, I just bought a spiffy Sailor Moon hoodie that I made myself ^_^ I can't sell it to do copyright infringement (Psssht, minor problem), but that just makes it one of a kind! Only $25. Nooot baaad. So! If you have any ideas for any designs/sayings/etc that I could put up, toss me a comment or e-mail and I'll see to it. But then again, I was just thinking (uh oh o_o; ). I could sell prints off of a website just as easily. Of course, I'd rather wait until I have a superspecialspiffeh printer for that. Which will probably be awhile, because I have lots of superspecialspiffeh stuff to buy before that. Such as: Meep. No wonder most artists STARVE. x_x; On top of that, I need clothing. Pah. And I have to start saving for Xmas. And a car. And the new Metroid game. Which comes before clothing. And food. And a car. 0_o; I FOUND MY LUCKY SPECKLERY D20! Much happiness <3 In other news, I did my first BESM campaign session thinger (a SM and ExMa mix) the other day. It went alright. I could've done better, but not bad for my first session, I 'spose. =^_^= Hmmmmmm what else. Went reading through my old RPG stats. *sniff* I miss U&M so bad T_T Pah. Had a super-shitty day at work. More people getting pissy at me because I'm better than them, that's all. >_>; Nah. I'm treated like such a child around there. I may not be even half as old as most the people there, but I still do just as good a job as them (better, most of the time). But still, they bitch at me, and blame things on me, and leave me to do EVERYTHING ALL BY MYSELF! But I got it done, didn't I? How do you like THEM apples, bizzzzzz-otch? 0_o; So yay. I'm gonna go to sleep, 'cause I gotta work again tomorrow. And get up early to do school shtuff and road test stuff and DA stuff and watch the FOOTBALL GAME! WOO! God I miss football. Stupid manager and his making me work during the Giants game almost every weekend. *curse curse* Oyasumi! ^_^ I may be REALLY tired, but I don't see how I can make that big of a mistake. So either my hands are possessed, this is all a dream..or I have adware. All even chances, I'd say. >_>; EDIT: Well, I said the first two choices jokingly. But ..ermm.. it appears I have no adware. 0_o;;;;; Yeah. I think it's time for bed. -_-; Also Thursday, I get my paycheck, which will be about $120-130. I'll say $125. So, I take $70 out of that, add that to the $150 to make $220, and give that to Al. That leaves me with $65 all together. Now that would be fine for the week, but you see, Thursday I'm supposed to be going to the Casino, and Sunday I'm supposed to be going to Great Escape. Take out about $20 for the Great Escape tickets, that leaves me with $55. I could spend $35 at the Casino, and $20 at Great Escape, which isn't much, but could work. Of course, then it leaves me with ABSOLUTELY NO MONEY for the week. I could always STARVE at Great Escape and play no games. Or play games and eat at Great Escape and STARVE the whole week. Okay, I won't starve from the week, but I'll be Ice Cream deprived, and have to bring food and such from home. Argh. Someone shoot me. Or give me money. One or the other. >_< (Okay, so it's not yet, but I'm starting the celebrations a little early ^_^; ) I can look at myself, and not loose my mind. And today, at work, I was deciding on whether to have some mozzerella sticks or not, and decided to go for it, so that I could keep my figure. Because I like the figure I have. I like having meat on my bones. I still weigh 115. I'm also still semi-out of shape. But I'm doing well. I still only eat about 1 or 2 meals a day. But that's alot more than a few months ago. And I'll prolly never eat more than 2 meals a day, because I sleep through breakfast ^_^; I just have to ask a favor. I'm saying this, because I am proud of it, and I do want to let the world know. But I have to ask that nobody brings it up. That's why I have no comments or anything for this entry. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want any comments, even if their the most positive comments in the world. No e-mails, no nothing, please. Because I don't know how I'll react if I hear someone else say it to me. I'm afraid I'll panic and go right back on it. So please respect that for me, atleast until I can say I'm fully recovered. It's strange, because just a couple weeks ago, I completely fell apart, because I had slipped back into not eating really badly for awhile, and then now, bam. I guess it really does get worse before it gets better ^_^; But I'm glad I'm at the 'better' part. I just hope it lasts this time. I'm determined to get over this, it's done nothing but screw with my life. Screw "thinspiration". Screw working myself to death. Screw calorie counting. I like to sink into the snow when I walk, I like not feeling like I'm gonna blow away, I like being able to eat a full meal, and dammit, I like having boobs! ^_^;;;;; Anyways, I went SHOPPING TODAY! I got lots of stuff. INCLUDING a new hat, and rainbow shoe laces! I took pictures of them. Pictures that I will now post, along with random pictures of me that I took. I'm a webcam whore. Wee!             I also got a black shawl thingie, black fishnet armwarmer thingies, a spiffy black and pink thong, a pair of big baggy black pants (that are really confusing to get into o_o), 3 games (Pacman World for PS, Castlevania:Something of Something-or-other for PS2 and Onjakjlaksdjfmusha for PS2), a pair of shiny high heeled dress shoes, a slipknot pin, and a couple things I surprised Lowell with. Oh, and the shoes that are sporting the rainbow shoe laces are new also. =^_^= w00t! a Klingon guy happl'y did speak. "Since every room's booked, means elsewhere they'll need look, for this place now belongs to us GEEKS!" More on that tomorrow when I'm more awake. ^_~ Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
So that's my schedule! I'll have my cell on me if anybody needs me. I'll be sure to take lots of pictures, and bring back lots of SWAG! I'm excited. I'm also very stressed. And I'm not sure which is greater at the moment. Right now, I'd have to say tiredness is beating both of them, so I'm gonna head to bed. See you all in a week! JA, MINNA-SAN!! ^__^It would be nice. Like I said, something to mark the start of our own personal life together. We're looking at living on our own next summer. Getting a small apartment somewhere around here. =^_^= In other news, as I said in my last post, GenCon's next week. My costume is pretty much done, amazingly. It's great. I luff it. The only things I have left to get for it, is a garter belt and a couple thongs 0_o; Garter Belt to hold up my thigh highs, and a couple thongs because there's not a damn pair of pants left in the world that isn't so damn tight in the ass that a woman can wear regular underwear! ^_^;;;;; I was excited for a little while, but now I'm just blah. And it's frustrating, or atleast it would be if I wasn't so blah. I don't understand how and environment can effect someone so much without them realizing it's happening. I mean, you could be excited and then be yelled at by someone and just be like "Well, that just ruined THAT." But for me, I'll be happy and excited, and then I walk in the door, and it all just goes downhill. I'd say it goes downhill gradually, but it doesn't. It hits me all of the sudden, but I don't realize it. It's like routine for me. I walk out of the house, become my happy bouncy self, and then come back into the house, and just..blah. It's like taking off my shoes and putting on my slippers. It's just my routine. But I don't understand. I mean, yeah, there's obviously some damn good reasons of why I feel this way. But I don't understand why it does so much. Why I can't really feel it happening and stop it. It's just odd. It's not just home that's the center of my problems. It's home, and the computer. I mean, because I have so much to deal with at home, I come on the computer, and commit myself to all sorts of things so that I don't have to think. But I commit myself to them so much, that I get stressed about them. Little things like Neopets. Everybody knows Neopets. It's a cute little site I'm a part of. Well, I run this little guild on neopets. You'd think it'd be fun. But instead, I tell myself that I have to do things. I have to make graphics for people, I have to update everyday, I have to do all these sorts of things. Because I have to. Why do I have to? I don't know. I just have to. And I can't just blow them off and start over, because these people have become my friends. I can't just do something and enjoy it. It has to be some sort of job. So in the end, everything I enjoy, gets ruined. And I really have no idea what to do about it. Other than whine about it on the internet. You know, it's funny. Most people say that they'd rather keep their personal lives for them and their desk drawers to hear about. In a little paper journal that they can lock and keep away. But that's not enough for me, and not only because my mom will read a paper journal. But because if I write something down, and then lock it away, isn't it the same as keeping it inside? Typing something on the computer and then posting it somewhere that's not just mine, is therapeutic for me. And not at all because I know half the world can read it. I don't care who reads what I write, I don't care if nobody does, or everybody does. It's just the fact that I'm putting it somewhere that's not just mine. It's like I'm actually physically releasing everything inside. As the title says, late night ramblings. It's odd the things you think about late at night, and the way things effect you. For example, reading about how one of my closest friends is slowly killing herself by anorexia. I can deal with that during the day. It upsets me, it kills me, but I can deal with it. I can look at the situation and say "Hey, she'll be alright, things will be okay". But at night, all the reality hits me. It's something about everything being quiet. There's nobody talking in the background, there's no dog barking, no cars driving by. It's just me, and the sound of my fingers hitting the keys, and the thoughts running through my head. And because of that, everything seems more real. It hits me, that she might not be okay. That she could die, and there's nothing I could do about it. It hits me alot. That all of these girls that I hold so close, I could lose them at any moment. To so many things. The scariest being - themselves. It really truly hits me, that I could get a call one day telling me one of my truest friends is gone. And it's not even one of those "Yeah, a bus could drive through my window and kill me right now" sort of things. They threaten their own lives everyday. How long until they really succeed in everything they've tried to do? How long until I lose them for good? And there's nothing I could do about it. I'm not a controlling person. But I like to know that my friends have good chances of living. What's just as hard, is looking at myself. I mean yeah, during the day, I can say "Yeah, I'll recover, I'll be fine". But then at night, it hits me, that that might not happen. That I may never looking at a razor blade as just something you use to shave your legs with. That I may never look at food without thinking about how much I've eaten so far that day. That I may never be able to look at myself, and say that I look good. I may never be able to look at those "Lose 30 Lbs in 30 days!" ads, and not want to try them. What I am, may never be enough for myself. And there's nothing I can do about it. On top of that, my childhood will never change. I'm always going to be able to look back on it and say "Wow, I was ALWAYS scared. Always scared of the one person I should be able to trust above all others." When I have children, they won't be able to go "spend a weekend with gramma". I'll never call my mom for cooking advice, or baby advice. I'll never look forward to "Christmas with the family". Nothing. And it's not even just the long-term stuff that bothers me. It's right now. Right now, I can't say what I want. Right now, I have to let my mother insult me, so that I can be safe. I have to let her control my relationship, my friendship and myself, just so that I can be safe. I have to keep everything inside, and sacrifice everything I have, including those I love, so that I'll be safe. That's not comforting. It's not the way I live my life, but I have no choice. But I should. I should have a choice. Oo Daff a roo oO: Leave off? Where'd we leave off? o_o; Hytamo: Well... remember? We're lovers, Daffypoo. Oo Daff a roo oO: AND NOBODY TOLD ME?! Damn. o_o; Hytamo: o_O Hytamo: Well... if you forgot.... Oo Daff a roo oO: I don't think I ever knew o_o When'd this happen? o_0 Hytamo: Last time you logged, ya know..... that night.. Oo Daff a roo oO: *blink* What night? Refresh my memory o_o Hytamo: That kinky kinky night in your bed... >_> Oo Daff a roo oO: Which one? I've had alot of kinky nights in my bed ^_^;;;;; Hytamo: The one with me. o_o Oo Daff a roo oO: I think you drugged me, 'cause I don't remember. o_o;;;;; Hytamo: Oh... wait... it was just a dream I had... =/ Ehehe. I love old role-playing friends ^_______^ I'm also considering following the crowd and e-mailing WotC to see if they'll pick up the Sailor Moon CCG. X_X; Now ya see, if Pioneer was to get interest back up, then WotC picked up the CCG, everybody'd be happy! These people should be PAYING me. Dammit. 0_o; Premiere Set (160 Cards)
Past&Future Expansion (70 Cards)
Not bad, considering neither of them are sold around here, and the P&F Expansion was NEVER sold around here. So yeah, not bad. I have the entire 10 card foil set from the first one (# 151-160). ^___^ Yay. So I've bet searching around for what I'm missing. I found most of them, and none of them are over $10! w00t! Once we get back from GenCon I'll prolly get like one a week or something (They range from $0.90 to $7.00, so it won't be all that expensive) until I've completed my collection. What got me on this kick, was that I got my P&F Expansions today! w00t! Oh! And I also found the Complete Book of Youma for the Sailor Moon RPG somewhere! 0____0 It's really hard to find. But yay! Yay yay! >_>; I can't believe how much things are there. 2 tickets for the first showing, a bag of popcorn and a soda costed $22.25. It was $10.25 just for a small bag of popcorn and a soda. That, plus a piece of pizza and two breadsticks, took away all of the money that I had taken out for this week. X_x; Oh! And I got a caramel apple. For $5.35! >_< Then I'm going to pick up my check. ^_____^ It's somewhere around $140 I think. Then I'm cashing my check, and putting a couple hundred dollars in the bank. So yay. That'll bring my balance up to over $500. I'll get $50 for the food next week, and then take $85 out for the hotel, a bit of money for my costume, and I'm at about $400. I'll be getting 2 more paychecks, each at about $140, so that brings me up to $680. Then, I'm also cashing a $20 check, so that's an even $700. Then, after possibly being payed by Steph for mowing her lawn, that'll give me some extra. w00t. So between $600 and $700 for GenCon. Not bad. Anyways, I just got completely off topic. So yeah! I'm running a Sailor Moon Campaign, set after the Crystal Tokyo period, and using the BESM Tri-Stat system. Fun stuff. The RPG and Resource book is a million times better than I thought, I'm excited. Anyways, I've gotta get goin. Ja! | ||
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