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Yours Truly
Name: Lau
Age: 17
DOB: July 8
E-mail: Moonkissed@rock.com
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Wanna be here? E-mail Me.
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(( I'll add more later ))
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Opeth
Entombed
Saturday, October 25, 2003
Alright, sweet. So I can write in my pitas, I just lost 2 or so pages of writing. If not more. I love it. Ergh.
*throws rocks*
Lau made a wish at 12:58 a.m.
READ ME: This is copy and pasted from my TOD diary, I don't quite remember what it says, but PLEASE help me out on this one. I need sources for my thesis, so please fill this out! Thanks! Oh, and if you don't feel like e-mailing me, don't worry about it. You can leave comments here, no problem. I just wanted people at TOD to e-mail me, because there's a character limit on Notes, there.
---
Hey ^_^ I'm doing my senior thesis on Eating Disorders, and I would absolutely love you if you could give me your story. How it developed, and mostly, how it has affected your life. You can just free write it all, or answer these questions:
1. How/When did you develop an ED? What kind?
2. How long have you had this ED?
3. What are your thoughts on others with this (or other) EDs?
4. Have you been 'treated' for it?
5. Have you ever been in the hospital?
6. How has it effected your life as a whole?
7. How does it affect your life now?
8. How does/did it affect the people around you?
9. What are your plans for recovery, or if you already recovered, how did you do it?
10. Other?
For those of you who have never struggled with eating disorders, please answer these questions, or just tell your general thoughts.
1. What is your opinion of people with ED's?
2. What would you do if someone close to you developed an ED?
3. Do you know someone with an ED?
4. Other?
You could leave comments here, but it'd be best if you could e-mail me at angelicnemesis@yahoo.com. Oh, and please tell me how you wanna be credited. ^_^ Thanks!!
Always,
Lau
---
SIDENOTE: angelicnemesis@yahoo.com is my e-mail _only_ for things such as this. Projects, urgent responses, big important stuff...things like that. So please keep all casual e-mails at moonkissed@rock.com. However, if you e-mail me there, and you don't get a reply within a few days, PLEASE try the angelicnemesis@yahoo.com address. Rock.com screws up every now and then. Pfft. v_v
Lau made a wish at 07:36 p.m.
Wow. I actually, for once, feel really bad for Daemoniis. Yeah, he acts all tough and everything, but he seems really insecure. He cuts everything anybody says down to little 2 word fragments, analyzes it and spits out useless insults. In the present arguement I'm having with him, he's contradicted himself quite a few times, but it's no use pointing it out to him. *shrug*
But just because I feel bad for him, doesn't mean I've stopped despising him. For those who want to follow the argument, go here. It starts with me. Well, it should. My name there is Jouka. If you can't find me, just look around. Yep.
It's not that I don't wanna argue with him. I do, actually. I have this need to prove myself. But it's not worth it. He's not going to listen, and it won't accomplish anything. It's a waste of time and valuable board space. I could point out many things against him, and for myself. But, one, I'm not _that_ much of an egotistical bitch, and two, once again, not worth it.
The two things I wanna say to him, is that his opinion is just as useless as mine. And, if I have no right to give orders, than neither does he.
I laughed wicked hard when I saw one of his latest posts. When I said "I mean, come on, aren't we both a little more grown up than that? ...don't answer that x_x" He came back saying something about me having no place to give demands. For god sakes, I was trying to joke around. Lighten things up a bit. Jeebus x_x
He completely contradicted himself, also, and I wanna point it out so bad. He said something about insulting others to see if they'll be stupid enough to keep arguing, blah blah blah, something to that effect. He advised me not to answer him, if I didn't want this and that..blah blah. So I don't answer him, and he bitches about how I'm a coward, and how if I was smart, I would answer him.
*blink* Riiiight..
Meh.
Lau made a wish at 10:47 p.m.
I'm so god damned bored.
~Name: Lau
~Male Or Female: *looks down* Definatley female.
~Bday: July 8
~Zodiac Sign: Cancer (Pisces sign). Chinese - Tiger.
~Nicknames: Lau, Laur, Laurz, Li Li, Jou, Joukie, Daff, Daffers, Daffy, Peanut, Elmer, Squirt.
~Born Early or Late: Early.
~Siblings: None.
~Parents names: Kathy and Ron.
~Pets: Silver (my cat), Triton (my abnormally large black lab), Sweetheart (my rabbit), Kosmo (my horse), Fish (my fish).
~School: Pfft.
~Grade: Senior, for a few more months.
~Location: Pffffft.
~E-mail: moonkissed@rock.com.
~Homepage: *looks around*
~Lucky Number: 8, 17
~Lesbian/Gay/Straight: Yes.
_________People_______
~Best Friend: Lowell, of course. Your boyfriend should always be your best friend. ^_^
~Friend of the Same Sex: La La!
~Friend of the Opposite Sex: Besides Lowell? Alex, Jared.
~Who do you wanna kill: *evil grin* Don't ask me this question when I'm angry. *shifty eyes*
~Favorite Teacher: Mrs. Paolini. She lets me get away with shit .o0(leaving class, breaking dress code, reading books as she's talking, doing homework, etc.)
~Girlfriend/Boyfriend: Lowell ^_^
~If so who?: Merp.
~If not, do you want one?: Merp?
~Friends: Didn't I already answer this? O_o;; Well, my other not-mentioned friends are..well, you know who you are *sticks out her tongue*
~Online Friends: *blink* You all know who you are, as well. v_v
~First Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Billy Lagerstrom was my first. 3rd grade. But first serious boyfriend? Woody. o_<
~Who do you Chat with mostly online: I don't chat online often. But usually La La, Chrissy, Sawah when I catch her on, Niki when I cat her on, Alex when I catch him on, you get the picture.
___________Favorites_________
~Fav. Time: o_O Err..night?
~Number: Alright, I KNOW I answered this one. But 8 and 17.
~Grade: Favorite grade? There's such thing? O_o
~Subject: Creative Writing. Comp 1A.
~Food: *blink*
~Vegetable: Carrots!
~Fruit: Strawberries, pineapple, kiwi.
~Dessert: Meh.
~Pen Or Pencil: Pen. I hate the feel pencils.
~Sport: Field Hockey, Football.
~Movie: G,I.
~Cartoon: Sailor Moon! And Family Guy. .o0(Silence, you garrulous idiot! o_O)
~Cartoon Character: Stewie. *nod* And Hota-chan.
~Cartoon Superhero: o_O
~TV Show: Charmed.
~Soda/Pop: Naturally Flavored sparkling water beverage! @_@
~Brand Of Clothing: *shrug* Whatever fits.
~Boots/Tennis Shoes/Sandals/Platforms: Boots. And Heels.
~Nike/New Balance/Adidas/Doc Martens: See 'Clothing'.
~Cow/Tiger/Leopard Print: Cow? Moo. Heh..moo. ...cow.
~Long or Short sleeve: Either very long, or very short.
~Long Shorts or Booty Shorts: Both.
~Jeans or Shorts: Jeans.
~Dog/Cat/Chameleon/Fish/Rabbit: Yes.
~Burger King/Hardees/McDonalds: x_x
~Dancing or Singing: Yes! Both.
~Color: Black, Purple.
~Car: errrr...k. erk.
~Singer: Trent Reznor
~Rapper: I'm not a big rap fan.
~Actor: Meh.
~Actress: Angelina Jolie! *orgasms*
~Brown/Black/Blue/Green/Gray/Hazel Eyes: Blue. Green when I'm mad/intuitive, gray when I'm sad.
~Tan or Pale white: Pale. Very pale.
~Flower: Daffodil, Rose.
~Month: May and July.
~Vacationing Spot: Japan. Ooooo...
~Kind Of Porno: STICK PORN! Yeah baby.
~Athlete: Dunno.
~Website: *points to the address bar* Rah!
~Chatroom: U&M
_________Random__________
~Virgin: Err...no.
~If Not, who did you lose it with and how old were you?: Lowelllllllll and I was 16. *nod nod*
~Do You Love anybody right now?: My hunnie! *cling*
~Cheated on anybody or Cheating now: Never. I couldn't. I mean literally, I couldn't. Lowell's sexy. And I love him. And he's wonderful. And sweet. How can anybody cheat on anybody else anyways? I don't understand it. I'd die. Well...I can't say anything. Because I helped Lowell cheat on Sarah. But that's okay. Because she didn't deserve him, and he's all mine now. RAH! o_O
~Would you go out with your best friend: o_o
~Hats or Visors: Neither.
~What noises do you hear now?: The computer buzzing, the TV out there, a faint ringing in my ears..
~What Room you in?: The study.
~Whats the First website you go into when you get online?: Either here, NP, TCS or Rock.com
~Do you like school?: It's not my favorite thing to do, but it's alright.
~Worse Percentage On A Test?: I got like...a 10 once. But that's cuz it was a Math Test with only 2 questinos. o_o;;
~First car look like?: I'll let ya know.
~Color is your room?: White and pastel..ish.
~Room-Small/Big/Medium: Smallish.
~TV in your room: Yep. But it's slowly..slowly...dying.
~Phone in your room: Yep. God, I remember when I first got a phone in my room. I was so damn happy. ^_^;; Now it just seems..normal.
~Hours watching TV/Movies: I rarely watch TV. Same with movies.
~Channel watched most by you: Cartoon Network, for Adult Swim, and occasionally VH1 for Insomniac Music Theater. Oh, and one of the HBO's for Dirty Pair.
~Burn First or Tan First: Burn. I've never tanned. Not once in the whole 17 years of my life. *falls over*
This is completely off topic, but I have a paper below me that has a bunch of stuff on Greek food, and whne I looked down, I could've sworn I saw the words Masturbated Tuna. *blink* Turns out it says Marinated, not Masturbated. Oh, and while on the topic of masturbation, do you know, that when you look up 'Self-Abuse' in a dictionary, it has Masturbation listed? Odd. Want proff? Proof, even? Go here.
Lau made a wish at 08:09 p.m.
Me: I've never seen anybody so sour against a religion for no other reason than trying to get attention. It's almost...cute.
Dae: I've never seen anybody so sour against me for no other reason than trying to get some revenge, or ascertain their own microscopic self-worth. It's definitely... pathetic.
Would you mind writing the rest of us a brief outline of the formal objections you have to my statement -- instead of subjecting me to your shallow revenge-packed trademark whining? Because, if you would rather prefer to go down the ad hominem attacks path, I can certainly take you on yet another memorable ride, seeing how you've never had neither wit nor imagination to win the mud-slingling contests with me.
Come on, you filthy quasi-intellectual skank, show me what you're really made of. Let's see how big your balls are. I've shafted you before, and I will do it again, for my sheer joy and pleasure, as well as the entertainment factor for the rest of our little community.
So, what will it be? Honest fight or cowardly flight?
Me: Heh, Dae, you haven't changed a bit. I'll never understand why you feel the need to insult people so much. Honestly, it doesn't make you look any better than those you're insulting. It normally makes you look worse.
I'm not looking for a fight. Simply expressing my opinion where I feel it's needed. Even if I'm the only one that feels that way. *shrug*
_______
Hard to believe that he's what...20 something? And so immature. It's sad. He hangs around a teen-site, to insult people and flaunt his unimpressive vocabulary. *rolls her eyes* Ah well. I don't plan on fighting with him, no matter how much he insults me. Which, trust me, will be alot. -_-
Lau made a wish at 10:20 p.m.
Don't worry, the annoying random links will be gone soon. I'm in school, and can't e-mail them to myself or anything. I created a seperate site called 'Lau's Linkage' (http://laus_linkage.pitas.com) for all my links, but they sent the password to my e-mail address, and I can't exactly login in school. So here we go.
Lau made a wish at 08:49 a.m.
Another Note to self: Check this out later.
Lau made a wish at 10:27 a.m.
Note to self.. Buy this!!
Lau made a wish at 09:50 a.m.
Mr. Healy is an ASSHOLE.
He decided to tell me that I'm a liar. Fuckin bastard.
I'll explain more later. Right now, I'm just too damn fuckin pissed.
Lau made a wish at 08:10 p.m.
*blink* Dad thinks I might have a mild concussion. That's bad. v_v
Lau made a wish at 09:41 p.m.
Jeebus. I start to have one good day (well, as good of a day as one can have on a Monday), and then it all just HAS to go to hell, doesn't it?
Okay. I swear. All counsellors are the same. I was having a good day, right? So I wanted to go..do something. Something other than go to a counselling appt. Don't get me wrong, best counsellor I've had, but I had a good day, and I didn't want to go sit inside and talk about things that weren't so good. Ya know? I wanted to enjoy the semi-happiness while I could. So, I called mom, she totally understood, and called and cancelled for me. I thought that being a counsellor he would understand, but nooooooooooooooooooooo. 'course not. He went on and on about how that's usually an excuse, and how the times that we say we don't need to talk is the times we usually do and blah blah blah. My mom told him countless times that I was having a good day and just wanted to enjoy it, but he wouldn't accept that. It pisses me off. I don't want to even go tomorrow now. I don't wanna go for the rest of this week. Maybe I won't. Ugh! Am I not allowed to take a break every now and then? Am I not allowed to have a good day? Jeebus! He should be happy that I finally have _one_ day that I don't desperatley need to come to my appt. I mean, for god sakes, I go there every day during the week! ERK!.
Like I said. Counsellors. They're all the same. Bastards. And I'm not going. *shakes head* Nope nope. I'm gonna be a stubborn bitch and not go for like..a week. Just because I feel like...acting like I'm two. I don't care. *hmph*
On the up side, mom and I are getting along. That's always good. We haven't fought for like..4 days or so. We're getting along abnormally well. We stayed up until midnight yesterday watching 6 hours of Charmed O_o;; It was fun. That's one of the reasons I've been in a good mood.
But nooooooooo can't be in a god damned good mood now, CAN I?!
I also think I'm getting PMS. I almost started throwing shit at the Freshmen in band today. They wouldn't shut up. And it bothered me more than usual. I got a horrible chocolate craving to. And right now I feel like hurdling this chair at the nearest object for virtually no reason.
Fuck. You know, fuck fits everything. It sums everything up into one little word.
FUCK!
Oh, other good news. Jared can (and is, whether he likes it or not o_O Bwa!) come to my birthday/graduation party, because he's not leaving 'till late July. Well, that is, if we don't all viciously attack and chain him to a conviently placed and overly random solid object. O_o;; I'm so fuckin tired. Somebody knock me out. Please, I beg you. Knock me out.
x_x
Fuckity fuck fuck FUCK!
Lau made a wish at 08:16 p.m.
Stupid school. Stupid cold. Stupid comments.
Yeah, comments aren't working at the moment. And I'm tired as hell. So if they magickally start working again, leave me one in the past entry. If there's one there. I don't remember. You see, I'd easily be able to tell, if SquawkBox wasn't such a WHORE.
G'nite x_x;;
Lau made a wish at 10:42 p.m.
Note to self (ignore this):
A big list of mostly useless links
Does anybody have any info on different ways of communication in Ancient Greece? If so, pleeeeaaassee leave me comments. Or e-mail me.
Lau made a wish at 08:20 a.m.
I'm sick. And it sucks. To make it better, I'm offically failing because I've missed 5 days x_x;; I'm making a few up though, so in the next week or so I won't be failing anymore. I don't know why I've been so damned sick lately. Prolly 'cause mom's brining home a bunch of crappy sicknesses from the hospital and giving 'em to me. v_v
Anyways, HI JARED! ^_~ Woo!
Meh. It's 10 of 1 and I've barely moved all day. I feel so shitty. The worst part is my throat. And my foot. My foot hurts alot. I have this odd deep cut thing on the bottom, and everytime I put pressure on it, I feel like I'm stepping on a thousand needles. @_@;;
In other news...I got an e-mail from Matt *blink blink* Matt, College Guy, Matt. Not Matt, Niki's Matt. Other Matt. Very unexpected o_O;; I don't really know what to say on the subject *falls over*
.o0(10 Minutes Later)
Fuck. I have no idea what I was saying.
Lau made a wish at 12:46 p.m.
......Fuck.
Lau made a wish at 10:01 p.m.
Have you ever had one of those moments where you actually have no idea how your feeling?
It's odd. Hm.
In other news, I made this today. It may not look like much, but trust me..it was. I had to do pretty much the entire thing in CSS. There's a bit o' html, but not much. It wouldn't allow much. Stupid bitch of a thing.
I watched Tomb Raider again tonite. Angelina's so fuckin hot. *drool*
I'm starting to figure out what I'm feeling. Semi-happy, semi-empty, and I miss Lowell. It's odd, I mean, I saw him yesterday, and I talked to him a few hours ago, but I just..miss him. Sometimes I'll leave his house, and two minutes later, I get this overwhelming filling..and I just miss him. It's strange o_o;;
Anyways, I got a new Sailor Moon tape today. Sailor Moon S: Small Hearts. It's edited, though. They didn't have the un-edited version. Which means it has the normal opening instead of the pretty one, and the normal ending, instead of Takishido Miragu (Tuxedo Mirage). Ah well, it's still orgasmically good. Oh, and I'm getting my DVDs Friday. Well, ordering them Friday. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm getting the entire first season of Sailor Moon (there's 6 seasons all together, 200 episodes), Japanese with English Subtitles, Completely unedited, extra episodes never shown in the US, for $50. Used, but that's okay. I also found out that they have the same thing, but of Season 2. Which I WILL get sometime soon. I swear.
I got three new Charmed books, too. Yeah, I'm so obsessed, that I started reading the book series. I went in to get the next book, and it turns out that they were Buy 2, get the Third one free. I wasn't the only one to take advantage of it, either. Originally, there was 2 shelves FULL of Charmed books. I went there, and there was about 6. 6 books, not shelves. Now there's 3. RAH!.
I'm going through serious withdrawl. I want my graphics programs back. x_x;;;;;;;;
I need a senior quote. Leave me ideas. Now. XD
Lau made a wish at 12:27 a.m.
I added a new section for 'Web Comics I'm not sure of yet'. I only have one. But yeah. I read through some of the archives. Looks pretty good so far, but I'm not quite sure yet.
Lau made a wish at 08:48 p.m.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*dies*
I NEED Photoshop. I'm deprived of Photoshop and every other graphic program that I have. I'm also deprived of all my anime, pictures, half my mp3s and EVERYTHING ELSE that completely rules my life. *sweatdrop*
This computer sucks. I'm in the G-LAB (yeah, baby). And it sucks. Royally.
oH!
ALEX!!
Hi, I'm in school, and I can't get to your blog, and I can't e-mail you, because school computers SUCK! So, I'm gonna call you, when I get to Lowell's, and we should all hang out. If it's today that you were talking about having free. Or maybe I dreamt it all. I have no idea. But yeah! You prolly won't get this before I call you, but it's all good. Feel special, for you are in my blog *ping*
Ah jeebus. I'm tired. And cold. I'm gonna go try and spy on the little kids next door. Not like that will fix the fact that I'm tired or cold, but it's all good. Luff,
LAU!!
Lau made a wish at 09:51 a.m.
Hiya! Lau-chan here, to recruit you all! *places a hand behind her head, sweatdropping and laughing nervously* Ahem. We neeeeeeeeed more people for the Sailor Moon RPG, and since you all love me sooooooo much.....you should join! Poor D-chan is forced to play tooooo many roles. x_X;; If anybody wants a list of characters, let me know. I believe we have a few Kings that haven't been taken. The only one I remember off hand is King Venus, but there's a few others, too. Actually I don't think Sailor Venus is taken either, but I'll have to look ^_^;; So join! It's fun ^_-
Note me if you want more info! Oh, and if you wanna join, go here, and tell D-chan ^_^
Lau made a wish at 08:07 a.m.
marsblvd2468: did you guyz relize tomorrows september 11?
angelicnemesis (me): Yeah, and the day after is September 12th! O_O
I'm so sick of people making such a big deal out of it. It's done, it's over with. Get over it. Things went boom, people died, la de da de dah. I'm not saying I don't care that people died, I just don't think we need to carry on with it. I swear, we're just asking to be attacked again. -_-;;
I hate society.
I'm sick of hearing about the blackout, too. "Canada did it!" .. "No, it's all the U.S.'s fault!". Can't one damned thing happen without it being someone's fault? I DID IT! Okay? Okay. NOW MOVE ON WITH YOUR GOD DAMNED LIVES!
o_o
In other news, my server's being a bitch and my background won't show up. I'll fix it later.
Lau made a wish at 04:35 p.m.
ERGH!
Today could not get any worse.
...shutup.
Lau made a wish at 09:26 p.m.
Hi! I'm not ignoring you all I swear, we're just having computer problems again. Dad has to wipe out half of the downstairs computer and had to use my computer for copying files, so I couldn't use it. He disconnected the internet too, so that we wouldn't get anymore viruses.
My computer's such a fuckin virus whore.
Anyways, I'm kinda back..but not really. Or maybe. I don't know. It depends on how the computer cleaning goes. So if I disappear again, I'm sorry, but I'll be back ^_^
Muah!
I don't feel like putting comments in, so just use the one in the entry before this one!
Lau made a wish at 07:54 p.m.
Apparently, my blog is an occult site. o_O The school has it filtered. Dirty bastards.
Afterthoughts: Ha! I figured out a way to view it. Bitches! Ha! O_o;;
Lau made a wish at 01:46 p.m.
I got a new CD today. Well, Lowell got a new CD, and I burned a copy of it. Rah.
It's called Metal for the Masses, and it fuckin rocks. Well, most of it rocks. Dimmu Borgir, Dark Tranquility, In Flames, Soilwork, Darkane, Immoral, Arch Enemy and Skinlab are my favorites. Shadows Fall sucks. They wait like...5 or 10 seconds, and then start in with the screaming and shit like that. They don't have the little entry type stuff. It sucks.
Erk. The effing thing won't upload to my server. So I have to find someone else that hosts it and steal it.
Here we go. Click here and then click on Destroyer of Senses. Witness the sucky'ness. They try to hard, and they start in to quick.
Anyways, Charmed is on in two minutes, so I'll blog later.
OH! Before I go. I got a Metroid shirt. Yes, a Metroid shirt. Showing the original Metroid. It's the pure definition of orgasm. I got black hair-dye too. Not nearly as good, but good none the less. I'm streaking my hair tonite. Yay.
Okay, now there's one minute 'till Charmed. Ja, minna.
Lau made a wish at 05:50 p.m.
So much to do, so little time ^_^;; Anyways, you can disregard this if you'd like, it's just my little 'To Do' list for today.
So that's my day. I'm also going to the mall to do some last minute shopping, dying my hair (err..streaking my hair), and hanging out with Lowell. V_v So half of this stuff probably won't get done. x_x But over half of those things, are things have have to be done no matter what. So yeah, I feel a bit screwed. Oh well, I got myself into it.
I made a decision on what I'm doing for prom. I'm taking a picture I found of Chii from Chobits, and altering the dress, to make it longer, so I can wear that. Not sure if I'm going all-out or not. We'll see. I'll technically be graduated by then, anyways, so *shrug* pfft. I dunno.
Woo. I'm a bit scattered. And I actually got sleep last night. And got up at 7am with no problem O_O;; Odd. Anyways, I just lost track of everything I was going to say, because mom came in, and we were looking at schedules and pictures from Charmed. So yeah. I'll write later.
Lau made a wish at 10:06 a.m.
This picture's too big for my bloggy. Click here to see it. Now.
Nny is a sexy bitch. O_o Jhonen is short.
*twitch*
Lau made a wish at 03:31 a.m.
My Custom designed Hell, stolen from Alex. Click here (Opens in a new window). I could've been more creative, by my brain is fried *twitch*
Lau made a wish at 03:10 p.m.
Hi: I got more sailor moon tapes. For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, I found a bunch of Sailor Moon S Tapes on sale at FYE for $5.99. About half of them are the Uncut version, too. But, by uncut, they don't mean purely uncut. They don't use the original names or original scripts. All they do, is *sometimes* show some body lines and put the original opening and ending on. But anyways, I got a few more, and I've got almost the whole series now O_O;; I got the first 4 episodes 2 days ago, and the first two look *really* old, and they have a completely different ending from the rest of the S eppies. And I've never heard the song o_O; Odd. But yay for Sailor Moon. I have one more tape to watch which I haven't watched yet. I'll prolly watch that later. Oh, and I get to order my DVDs next week. Mom's buying me a set of Sailor Moon DVDs, the entire first season, uncut and in Japanese with English subtitles. The original names, original script, and including the Eppies that were never shown on US Tele! Yay ^_^ They're $150 new, and $50 old. Of course, I'm getting the old ones. Doesn't matter, Sailor Moon is Sailor Moon.
Lo: I missed the tournament today. For some odd reason, alarm clocks won't work in my room. I have 6 of them, but they only go off once every few months. It was set perfectly and everything, never went off. And of course, mom didn't set hers, even though she knew I had to get up early, that I couldn't just get up without an alarm clock, and that my alarm clocks never go off! She woke me up 20 minutes after everybody left, so I missed it. Which means I missed my chance at seeing Lowell. I asked if I could see him today *and* tomorrow, but mom only got pissy. She always does when I ask if I can see him two days in a row. I know she won't let me, but it was worth a shot. *shrug* That, and I'm backed up horribly with requests. Yeah, I'm doing requests on Neopets. Why? Cuz I'm trying to get used to taking requests before I actually do it for money in LauraInc. It's going well, I just picked the time to do it, with school coming up, and SATs coming up, and college coming up and errghh. Oh well, it'll work. I don't have too many requests I guess. I'm just PMSy and don't wanna do anything. I have to make a webbie for the guild I'm in, as well as some banners and buttons, and a layout for someone else, who's driving me insane. *grumbles* I have to do one for someone else, also, but I told them I won't be able to start until Sunday, because the type of layout they requested. The same as cmakeitinlife. Well, same design anyways. *dies* Anyways, in other not-so-cheery updates..
Okay, I'm gonna go get some work done, or go stalk neopets, I'm not sure which. What am I gonna do with myself? Frickin 17 and still on neopets v_V I can't help it, it's addicting! *falls over*
Lau made a wish at 01:47 p.m.
"I've basically given up on miss Laura Byrnes for any help with whatsoever as she is unreliable... "
...ouch.
30 or so minutes later..
I'm thinking of getting a new blog. For many reasons that I can't say until I *get* the new blog. But don't worry, most of you will get the address. I just don't want to leave my archives and everything. I'm attached to this blog, as pathetic as it sounds. Ah well. We'll see what happens within the next couple days, eh?
Oh, I also wanted to let most of you know that I'm sorry I haven't contacted you. I'm trying to get ready for school, and at the same time get ready to take my SAT's, which I will be taking 3 times within the next 5 months, as well as get ready for college, *and* start up a business, *and* deal with everything else going on with my life. So yes, I'm stressed. And I still love you all. And I'll get back to you, I swear. v_v
Lau made a wish at 02:15 a.m.
DUDE!
Hi.
.o0(I will reply to e-mails/notes/comments/etc. shortly. Don't worry, I still love you all ^_^)
Lau made a wish at 07:42 p.m.
(tried to save myself but myself keeps slipping away)
If anything explains me, it's that one line, right now. But nothing. Nothing could explain exactly how I feel. Nothing could show you how much I hurt. Nothing could show you how I feel. Nothing could show you how much I love you. NOTHING NOTHING NOTHIN
Nothing is how I feel. Nothing is my head, my heart, my hands. Nothing is my feelings, my voice, my...love. Nothing is everything. Everything I feel. It's all nothing.
Nothing. It's all fuckin nothing. My life. My...emotions. It's just...fucked. It's sucked right out from underneath me. The words, to explain everything...nothing. All nothing.
Have you ever seen anything more incoherent?
I can't explain it. I feel like the world is spinning out of control underneath me, but I'm standing still. I feel like everybody is spiralling around me, keeping me trapped here, without taking one step forward or back, and they're all just screaming. Screaming at me. To love them, to be there for them, to let them be there for me, to let them love me. But I can't. I can't do anything, because I can't move, and when I can't move, I can't feel, and when I can't feel, I'm....nothing.
Nothing. It all comes down to nothing. My thoughts, my words, my feelings, it all ends in nothing.
I'm numb, but I'm not. I feel like someone twisted my hands around upside down, with my palms facing towards the ceiling. I feel my whole body tingling, like it's being torn apart, ripped away into the world, piece by piece. Like someone's digging their nails underneath my skin, and just ripping, and tearing. Tearing me to shreds, until I'm nothing. Just a broken, tattered mass, of nothing.
Nothing. Why can't it be something? Why can't it all come down to something? Why can't my thoughts end with anything other than Nothing? Why?
I have everything. Everything I need to survive, but all of it is just...weightless. Everything around me and inside me is numb and weightless. As if I'm floating in space. And everything is dark, except for a few specs of light that burn holes deep into my skin.
Everything good...hurts. Everything bad....hurts. Everything hurts. Nothing hurts...it's all...fucked!
I can't take the hate I can't take all the superficial love. I can't take the memories, the feelings, the...air. I know it sounds strange, but the air in this house is just...wrong. Everytime I walk into this house, I feel as if I've just been hit with a ton of bricks. I feel like I'm carrying them all on my shoulders, and no matter how hard I try, I just can't fall. I just can't drop them. I don't know why.
But when I walk out, I'm weightless. I'm numb and weightless, and nothing matters. Not even what should matter. I feel nothing, I am..nothing. I feel like the light and warmth just..burns me.
I'm shaking, and I'm numb. And I'm cold, and I'm fake. Everythign I'm saying outloud, the fake happiness, I can't take it, I'm killing myself with it. I can't do it. I need to be how I feel, but how I feel is...nothing.
Tried to save myself, but myself keeps slipping away...
Lau made a wish at 07:21 a.m.
Kuso.
-_-
Lau made a wish at 07:59 p.m.
Kon'ni'chi wa minna-san! Watashi wa Laura desu. Hajimashite. Doozo yoroshiku. Watashi wa Amerika-jin desu. Watashi wa kookoo-sei desu.
Rah!
o_o;;
I should go study. But I dun wanna. I have so much to do. But it's my own fault. But still! So much to do. And I gotta go write the next rpg eppie. x_X;;
I slept until 5:30 today o_o;; PM that is. Cuz I stayed up until like..8:30am'ish. Yeah, niki stayed the night. And we played InkLink all night. Weee! What's inklink? Go find it on shockwave.com. InkLink is god. *nod nod nod*
Okay, I gotta go. I'm gonna go study, or play Time Splitters, or write a new eppie, or possibly all at once! Or maybe none at all.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...............o_o
Lau made a wish at 07:54 p.m.
Busy busy busy...I have so much stuff to do! I have a few graphics that I need to get done, that I could do yesterday and a website (possibly - but it will only take an hour at most) for a couple people on NP. I also have to get myself together and start on Steph's Realty USA site. Which means I have to start putting together Laura Inc, so that when her site is finished, I can link to Laura Inc, and get my name out there and get workin! I also have to write another ep for the RPG tonite, which I don't mind, because this RPG rocks ^_^ Weee...
I should talk to Lowell about Vampire. It's so damn hard, because we're all so busy and we can never all be in the same place at once. So we have no idea what to do. The fact that I've been restricted, doesn't help. But pfft. We'll figure something out.
I know a couple of you who want to play Vampire, read this, so do any of ya have any set days that you're always available?
Oh! And Lowell was thinking of merging with a Vampire group at Mr. Bills, but *shrug* who knows. Answer my first question first! Yeah.
Now I'm gonna go. I've gotta see if we're going to the mall or not, so I can spend my money. On school clothes, of course. *grumbles*
Ja, minna!
Lau made a wish at 05:30 p.m.
So, how do you all like the new layout? I got bored of the other one, even though it had only been up for a few weeks. *shrug* I didn't feel like screwing with the opacity and screen resolutions and shit anymore. So pfft. Made something different. I tested it in three different browser resolutions, and it works. It's kind of busy, but I think it still look pretty good. I haven't figured out what to do with the links yet. *shrug* I might keep them how they are, or do something fancy with them. We'll see. I'm in love with the graphic at top. I love photoshop *swoon* And Hota-chan too, of course ^____^
Anyways, yes, give me lots of feedback, I want to know what you all think.
Lau made a wish at 12:46 a.m.
Archived
Lau made a wish at 12:39 a.m.