\\ gOoLiA.reNeWeD //

Friday, April 25, 2003 [my backpack.]

My backpack works like an alarm clock. Quite extraordinary. Whenever I'm at school and wearing my backpack, my hair ALWAYS gets caught under the shoulder straps. Even when I tie it up in a ponytail, there's always this one little strand that gets caught. So now, whenever my hair grows so long that it starts getting caught, it's time to cut my hair. Today I went to my mom's hair cutter, a funny lady named Frances. She lived in a nice cute house in Rowland Heights with her son. My mom and I went to eat at McDonald's first, and then we went to cut our hair. Mine is really light now.. almost feathery and my head's definitely lighter. It's even BOUNCY. Hahaha.

Yes, I have finally settled down here at pitas. My thinking is... the less fancy schmancy my blog is, the less I will strive for perfection. So I'm satisfied with this down-to-earth blog. I like it. =Þ Btw, my last post was NOT suicidal.

Right now.. I'm going to change the blog portion of my OTHER site, change the colors of the scrollbars, make my tagboard transparent, move all of my old posts, change the order of my menubar, and what else. Oh yes.. and my css styles need to be modified. That was more like a list of goals that I WANTED to do.. but maybe I'm not competent enough.

goolia prophesized your future at 09:18 p.m.

Friday, April 25, 2003 [I am obsessed.]

I can't help it. I've been through so many blogging hosts the past couple of months.. and I can't seem to find one that fits me. I was depressed that I couldn't get into live journal without an invite code and I couldn't get one from somebody else. Then, I switched to pitas. Then I get all depressed and sad about it.. so I had xanga. That didn't work and I WAS happy with it until I found out it wouldn't allow inline frames. I WAS happy. I really was. My cute little kiwis, yes I was happy with it. I have a major problem. I'm obsessed with being happy, and being happy means perfection to me. I can't find perfection. It is impossible, yet I seek it to make me happy, because if I don't, I'll be depressed.

So today I decide to just make my own blog, since xanga is making me depressed. I look at melodramatic.. and it doesn't work for me. Not enough flexibility and all that shit about karma and gspots. Then I get all excited at the prospect of confronting perfection, and then I see that my newly created blog isn't that great after all. I get depressed again. And right now.. I'm on the brink of switching to blogspot again. I don't know what to do. But I'm halfway through my problems: I know my problem and I'm confronting it.

I don't know what to do.. my problem is that nobody can possibly have perfection but that I can have nothing less in order to be happy in my life. I'm so incredibly obsessed about being happy that sometimes when I AM happy.. I dont' know it. Right now I'm so insane that I don't know anymore what's happy or what's not. I don't know if I'm happy. But I do know I have problem, a problem with perfection and imperfection, a problem so immense in my little world in my brain that I want to be happy so badly that when I'm angered or sad or pissed off, I dont' know If I'm truly happy or pretending to be. My world is a fantasy.

goolia prophesized your future at 12:44 p.m.

Wednesday, April 23, 20 [euro and mall]

Today was FUN!!!!! I woke up at 7:30 AM cuz I had an AP Euro study session from 9 to 12, and I had to WALK there. Pooperz.. cuz my parents were busy with work, and if they had to accomodate ME, then their busy work schedule would be severly disrupted. So, good old me.. I walked ALL THE WAY TO SCHOOL, which took longer than I thought. I walked up the stairs.. gates closed. I turned left, walked ALL THE WAY TO THE freakn parking lot.. guess what. Gates closed. I met Nancy and her friend there.. so we walked aLL the way around the pool and all the way to E23. *whew*, complaining and laughing the entire time. hahaha.

When we got there.. I took Karima's usual seat, until she walked in and so I took the seat in front of me and saved the one in front of me for Frances.. but she was late so Jessica took that seat. Euro was pretty fun, at least during the breaks and the times that I talked to Karima and Jessica. LOL. Ms. Puzo was funny too, with her little Soviet Union trips.. hahaha. *sniff sniff* Gosh I'll remember that one always. Then, Frances also showed me her South Hills Academy yearbook.. with "Mr. Himilayas" in it.. and I also saw Frances, Emily, Charlotte, and Paula when they were little.. HOW CUTE AND ADORABLE!!!!!!!! AWWWWWWWW!!!!

Hahaha.. then at around twelve, Frances and I stopped by our lockers, then we climbed over the fences. Her mom came and then took us directly to the Puente Hills Mall. YAY!!! Shopping w/ Frances is THE BEST. Usually.. it's like, if I shop with someone else.. their taste of clothing is different.. or they do things differently. But with my dear little francium.. hahha, we UNDERSTAND each other and we had a fabulous time.

We first purchased a tickets for Malibu's Most Wanted.. Frances as child and me as a student. hahaha.. we planned to also watch Holes, which we would jump. Then we went to eat lunch, I was trying to buy chicken mcnuggets and the line took FOREVER. By the time I was done with purchasing, Frances was halfway done eating. HAHAHA. We checked out some stores.. but didn't buy much. Frances bought some *stuff* from Victoria's Secret while I waited outside, munching on my fries. hahaha. Then we went to Fashion Q I think.. and I bought a little yellow scrunchi, which I was wanting to buy for a long time. I also wanted to get an army tanktop or shirt.. but none were satisfactory.

Then we went to watch Malibu's Most Wanted.. HILARIOUS!!! Picture a slightly stupid rich white boy trying to act like a black rapper. FUNNY.. I recommend it. Then we jumped to Holes.. which was great too. The plot's intricate and well-devised.. I read the story like in 7th grade, so I sorta forgot most of it. When I watched the movie.. the stuff slowly flowed back to me. GREAT MOVIE> OOUTSTANDING!!!

Then.. we went to Anchor Blue.. it was buy one get the second 50% off.. so I got a red Brooklyn tank and a formal pink blouse. Cute! Then we went to Charlotte Russe, and I bought blue towel-fabric sweatpants with a matching blue towel-fabric spaghetti straps top. Swt.. only 7 bucks for both of them combined. Afterwards.. we skipped Papaya .. cuz it was sorta late already.. wahh!! We went to GAP so Frances could get her special socks there, and then we headed to Borders. I went to buy the Harry Potter II DVD for my dad's Father's Day gift, and then we went outsidse to wait for my dad.

We dropped Frances off at her house.. and then I ate dinnner late at my house. *yawn* It's been a tiring day.. w/o naps too!

goolia prophesized your future at 9:56 p.m.

Tuesday, April 22, 2003 [the Cry for Reform]

I was bored so I went to Irene's blog to take a quiz..

Results:

1. You are attracted to those who are warm and obedience.

2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you feel irresistable is creative, never let you feel bored.

3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is flexible.

4. You don't like it when your partner is emotional and/or too moody; and you don't know how to please him/her.

5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your partner is one that you care not only about the present but also the future with your partner, a long-lasting relationship that you can grow with.

6. You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything wrong after marriage.

7. You think of marriage as a precious thing. Once you get married, you'll treasure it and your partner very much.

8. At this moment, you think of love as a committment for both parties.

Take the quiz: http://naucon.net/misc/tests/love_test01.htm

http://www.nemesiscorporate.com/AsianRU/

Click on the link above!! It's hilarious to read.. nothing to take seriously. I'm supposedly sorta twinkie.. sorta fobulous. and a lil tad. HAHAHAHA. Check it out!

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=SimonTemplar

^ That's a pretty well-written story.. sad in a strange way.

goolia prophesized your future at 4:57 PM

Monday, April 21, 2003 [the Cry for Reform]

Hospitals .. especially those that I know of, at least in California.. should be reformed. The ones I've been to, for example, have POOR, and you really need to emphasize the POOr, services. Last year my mom went to this one hospital and they didn't give her her medication on time, ignored her when she called for help, and made her stay uncomfortable there, and didn't even care when her medication ran out. And that's not even considered bad with today's incompetent nurses. Some of them just came out from housekeeping in a hotel just a month ago. And they didn't have any training.. maybe just instructions that you should always ignore a patient. I was reading the newspaper this morning about this article.. this poor lil 16-month-old girl died. Guess how. Her mom took her to the hospital for a routine surgery.. very simple.. and all, and she was safe and healthy when she walked into the hospital. (UCLA Medical Center) Then she died later. How? After the surgery, the nurses misplaced the breathing tube.. not into her lungs. but into her STOMACH. This caused irreplaceable damage to her heart and her brain. Eventually, she died of respiratory causes. So unnecessary. In addition, these nurses could have PREVENTED this.. if they had done a routine x-ray check-up that was required after surgeries. If they had done an x-ray, then they would've seen that they BREATHING tube was in the STOMACH. Or they would have noticed that her heart was not pumping enough blood. But no.. due to their lack of intelligence, experience, and patience.. or even time, the poor baby girl was left to die. Imagine the pain of her mother.

goolia prophesized your future at 09:20 a.m.

Sunday, April 20, 2003 [Happy Easter Everybody!!!! ^_^]

I woke up around.. hmmm seven o'clock today? Yes.. how early. For church so I could go to the mass at 7:30 AM. I left the house earlier than usual for mass at around 7:15 (even though it only takes 3 minutes to get there) because every year on Easter and Christmas, those "oh-so-ever devout Catholics" come to mass. And only those days. And not any other day. I'm not preaching them to go more or criticizing them.. but I just think that people should take a bigger effort in going to church if they want to be a pious Catholic. And if they have their own issues to deal with or whatever.. then it's none of my business to say what they should do. Father Michael sprinkled us with holy water as usual on Easter masses.. then communion.. the usual. Afterwards, my mom and I got some donuts and I drove the way back home. Then.. I kept falling asleep.. WAY TOO SLEEPY.. gosh I wonder why. Then I got mad at my dad.. then later I had to lug out the trash cans cuz it's Sunday. However..there were ANTS all over the black trash can so I took out an ant spray and spent like .. oh, 30 minutes spraying the ants and brooming them off. hah. Then I still didnt' want to touch it.. due to my extreme paranoia of ants, so I took some ropes and fastened it to the handles of the trash bin, and then lugged it out. Nice and easy.

goolia prophesized your future at 06:26 p.m.

Saturday, April 19, 2003 [oh the pain of choosing!!!]

The last two days.. wait no, more like yesterday.. I have been unfaithful to my dear pitas. I have posted at xanga.. I couldn't help it!! ahhh!!! I was bored out of my life.. and I was so happy with guard and with my guardies.. so I dedicated it to them.. and stuff. yeshh, stuff. hahaha. Now I'm back here.. where I belong and SHOULD be. This is outrageous: http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,6206548%5E663,00.html I'm supposed to be studying right now.. but since my parents are at their company's dinner now.. muahaha which I am supposed to go to but I ditched... I'm online again!! woohooo!!! Gotta catch up on checking my e-mail and site.. yikez!

goolia prophesized your future at 06:40 p.m.

Friday, April 18, 2003 []

"The beautiful part of writing is that you don't have to get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon."

Before.. I always took for granted my Color Guard friends.. and now as I think back, I always thought of them as friends that I just needed to have just for guard and now a real, close friend. But actually.. if it weren't for guard, I wouldn't even know these wonderful people. We've been through so much together, and I haven't even thought about how much they mean to me until now, the end of the year. I'm just so grateful that we all made the team again and that I'll see them again next year.

There are some experiences in guard that only "we" understand.. and it took a "emotional, hard, weird tryout" like yesterday to get me to understand how much I appreciate them.. I thought I lost them, and now I'm so thankful that we all made the team again and we're through with this emotional.. emotional ... day? This was definitely a breakthrough for me and I love my guardies!!!

Shoutouts to...

Stephanie!!! If it weren't for your everlasting smiles and reassurances.. how would I have ever gotten through Band Camp last year?

Rey!! You lil freak. hahaha jp! We weird people always get along, eh? And we tall people too, eh? And we banner ppl too, eh? haha..

SandRa.. wait no.. KIM!!! haha screw biter #1 and 2!! They didn't make the team.. hahaha, it's been great talking to you all year.

Kristyn!!!!!!!!! The one really scary time of guard .. the Disneyland time.. when we were "late" to the buses? Only YOU and I understand THAT. Smile on!!

Last and always, Tiffany!! It's been great having an old member to talk to.. wait I'm an old member now.. I should say.. "old, old member".. hahaha. You've been like a role model for the rest of us and we love you!! !!

goolia prophesized your future at 4:46 PM

Thursday, April 17, 2003 ["FIRST CUTS" MY ASS]

trying to get that crapload of makeup off my face...

I'm recounting the events of the fateful color guard tryouts... but if you don't want to bother with reading it all, here's the shortened version:

Number of girls trying out: Around fifty
How many girls made it: 32
Number of judges: 4
Peculiarities: only one incoming freshman, and in the history of whs, a guy finally made it: Eddie.
Did I Make it? Read the long version.

Long Version: During chemistry.. Jennifer was also trying out so we went together to the bathrooms to start changing already. We got into our tan tights and leotard.. then put our normal clothes back on over it. She already had lots of make-up on.. but I didn't want to look like a whore 6th period.. so I decided to wait until after school.

The bell rang.. and I walked quickly to my locker with Frances, who wished me good luck and asked that I call her with the good or bad news. I walked quickly to the locker rooms.. meeting Alex along the way and Winnie too. Then, I added make-up, drank large amounts of water, and took off my normal clothes. I helped some friends with their hair and then Stephanie and I walked over to the small gym for the tryouts. We were early.. and finally everybody arrived. The numbers and pins were passed out.. so people could pin their big number over their black leotard. We stretched some and were really nervous.. this was gonna be a competitive tryout.

The tryouts began at approximately 3:30 PM.. it was really slow.. because the judges took a long time. Finally, each of us tried out. None of the people who were old members dropped a flag. GOOD JOB!! I did okay.. but I could've done better with my side kick, which was wobbly because I was shaking of nervousness.. hahaha. Afterwards.. we waited about 30 minutes, and there were callbacks. I kept praying I wouldn't be called back.. because if you're not called back, it means either you really sucked and you didn't make it, or it means that you're good and you made it. If you did get called back.. then it meant that you were borderline and had a second chance to redeem yourself. No old members got called back. Thank God..

After the callbacks, we waited another 30 minutes or so. Then everybody was ushered outside the small gym. Mrs. Schultz said she would call the numbers and if you were called, you would walk inside because it meant that you made it for the first cut. Meaning.. there was going to be more than 1 cut. Nervous as I was.. I prayed fervently that she would call out the number 26, my number. Thankfully, she did and I walked into the small gym. I made the first cut. Then the seventeen or so people outside who didn't make it, were told to go home. Inside, Kathleen and Iris, who were the helpers there for the tryouts, told us that for the second and last cut, we were going to take a test and that they had obtained a copy of the test so they had written down the answers. We had to know the ballet positions, their names, how to write them down.. bunch of other stuff. We also had to know which count we would spin the lateral and how many counts of either in the routine.

The door to the gym popped open and Mrs. Schultz entered, ushering us inside. We each got a yellow folder with a number 2 pencil to begin our test. She said that she could only take 20 people, contrary to the 32 that she said before. I was soo shocked.. this was going to be VERY competitive. So we opened our envelopes when she said we could.. and on the front page: "Congratulations!! You made the 2003-2004 Team!!!" GOSH!!!! Everybody screamed in happiness and I ran up to Mrs. Schultz and hugged her and hugged all the seniors at how wicked they were. My voice was so hoarse.. and still is. We got pizzas and cake. There were 32 of us. All of the people I wanted to make the team made it.. I was so happy for them!! Then the seniors gathered up some cake and threw it in Mrs. Schultz face, hair, and clothes!! hahaha!! Debbie took a quick picture and so did Sandra. loL!!!

Now I'm at home.. after this emotional and scary day.. and glad that I made the team again. Viva my second year!!

goolia prophesized your future at 07:10 p.m.

Wednesday, April 16, 2003 [he wore yellow like me today]

Nothing really significant.. color guard mock tryouts were today. We did it like 2 times, then we practiced the routine over and over again, dehydrated. I helped out Tiffany.. this girl who would be next to me during tryouts. I'm number 26. She's pretty kool.. and I was teaching her about smiles, posture, good control, lateral, extensions, and kicks. Lol, basically a lot of stuff.

Euro essay today was a mother.... I BSed it nicely. I need to study!!!!!!!!! Now I have spanish amsco crap to do.. then chem.. then math. Then study euro some more..

goolia prophesized your future at 08:16 p.m.

Tuesday, April 15, 2003 [im learning.. im learning...]

I found out finally today.. that ... it just isn't worth it to wait for your life to get better. I've been having a bad year.. more bad than good at least, and I just found out today that it isn't worth it to wait for it to "just get better." Instead, you have to just MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY BY DOING IT YOURSELF... stop thinking of those annoying people out there.. stop thinking about those people that piss you offf.. cuz the more you think about it, the more "unhappy" it will make YOU.. and it's not worth it to have others make you feel sad. And never hold grudges.. even those same ole ppl that ALWAYS piss you off. Just still be nice and courteous.. cuz it'll make you happier in the long run. Also... don't be like.. "oh you did this and this to me and i hated you for it.. so i'll ignore you and wont talk to you anymore." that's wrong now, im realizing, because it's NOT worth it. you'll just feel sadder and instead, just let it go. WHATEVER. you know that person's crap, so who cares.

My bunny made me feel sad.. taught me that lesson...

goolia prophesized your future at 07:07 p.m.

Monday, April 14, 2003 [^_^ sigh.. saw my bunny today ^_^]

besides seeing my bunny today.. everything else was just .. just about crap. well.. woke up late again.. my alarm clock didn't go off. 1st period.. BSed practicing the routine.. 2nd.. lectures were actually interesting. hahaha.. WWI. 3rd.. math!! and guess.. what.. it was fun!! Yes, me, julia, liking math!! That's only cuz we're doing matrices and i like matricies.. at least now. Fourth.. english.. essay.. CALIFORNIA legislature rising the minimum age for driving up to 19? gah!! of course not. It was easier for me to write against it. I had all these elaborate ideas, too. hahaha. Fifth.. blah? Stupid bald man wouldn't call on me. Sixth. got i problem wrong on my chem test. horrible!!

color guard clinic after school really pissed me off. this one girl.. who didnt turn in a filled out application for the tryouts on the due date still got to try out. like.. if you dont turn it in on time, rules are u cant try out. she got too. how? by crying her ass off in front of schultz. PISSED ME OFF.

then afterwards.. i got to see my bunny for about 10 seconds.. then 30 mins later.. another 3 seconds. sigh....

Some updates on Brandon: I found out this morning that his locker.. was like three lockers away from mine.. pretty sad.. i probably saw him hundreds of times.. those numerous times that i went to my locker.. and never knew this person was gonna kill themselves soon. Second thing.. two weeks ago in chemistry... i saw a couple fighting outside our class... i thought it was quite hilarious back then.. shame on me. that was brandon and his gf.. pretty sad.. goshhh little did I know that he would kill himself later.

goolia prophesized your future at 08:02 p.m.

Sunday, April 13, 2003 [good ole roomba]

My parents surprised me yesterday with.. Rooomba. I would've NEVER guessed in my whole life that they would've bought THAT. Hahaha... imagine that. My parents = pedestals of unlaziness and symbols of hard work. A Rooomba? Unimaginable. They always preach about.. oh.. always do it the hard way.. blahblahblah. Buying a Rooomba? A "tool of laziness" for people who don't like to vacuum? Unheard of. A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. I should be at church... it's Palm Sunday.

goolia prophesized your future at 10:19 a.m.

Saturday, April 12, 2003 ["For those to whom much is given, much is required." -- Kennedy]

I should start doing homework.. considering the vast amount of stuff that I want to do today. Goshes!!! For IB, I'm taking.. uhhh.. Plan E? I'm not sure, it's the one with Biology and Theatre Arts HL. Yup.. the smart way to go!! hahaha.

Oh yeah.. btw... I have a lot of controversial stuff here that I like to blab about.. so if you don't like what I say, then don't read it. Why? Because this is my blog, so I get to say what I want and I really don't give a damn what you think if you don't like it. I'm not purposely trying to offend anybody, so I suggest that you don't read my blog if you're just going to complain and talk shit about my blog behind my back.

"Be what you want to be, and not what others want to see."

goolia prophesized your future at 11:15 a.m.

Friday, April 11, 2003 [death everywhere]

ever since yesterday when the suicide took place.. I seem to be seeing death everywhere, and each time it's mentioned or seen, I just cry. I don't know why.. I'm usually not THAT emotional and "oh my god" and all "girly" in that sense, but when it comes to crying, I can't stop. Like today.. I watched Beauty and the Beast in Spanish.. and when the beast died.. I knew he would "resurrect" as a human.. but I cried anyway.. it wasn't even THAT sad. Gosh.. and then yesterday, I was reading some poems, and one of them had a picture of a dead guy, and the poem was dedicated to a person who died when they were like in high school. That just totally depressed me. And when Schultz talked about his basketball player who almost committed suicide, and his mom who died, and his grandpa who died, and how Schultz himself almost died.. I couldn't stop crying.. I was like crying the whole time when he was talking about it. I think that yesterday when I first heard about it.. I was feeling.. disbelief.. emotion.. shock.. inverted excitement.. surprised. And I was bubbling with energy.. like.. I just felt different. That someone actually succeeded with the suicide. (he died later in the afternoon at the Queen of the Valley Hospital in Covina) Then later.. in spanish.. I saw Tiffany cry. Then all my feelings ended. Seeing someone cry.. praying.. I just let it go and I've been crying ever since.. at the mention of an emotional story or movie.

Why did he die? Why at school? What were his motives? Why in the stomach? Why did he bring a gun at school? I'll try to answer those questions to the best of my ability here.. I dont' know everything so I don't have a right to judge. But I do have a right to voice my opinions, however false they may be. I think he brought a gun to show people he was not afraid to shoot himself, but that he did not mean to kill himself. Big difference. His motives were aimed at his girlfriend, who cried and had spasms with hyperventiliation. I heard that she treated him like shit and he had emotional problems.. they had been on and off for awhile. He had told people before (last week) that he was going to kill himself.. but nobody took him seriously. Then he brought the gun to school, and if he truly wanted to die.. he would've shot himself in the heart. But no. He shot himself in the stomach.. why? Okay, there are three major spots.. or sections of the body. The head.. holding the brain. When ppl shoot this part.. it's quite traumatic for the family because the face is deformed, the body will live, but the person is a veggie, and will always depend on others to do everything for it. The second part is the stomach.. chest. This houses many of the important organs.. including the heart. Third part is the legs and feet. Probably somebody would be paralyzed or have an amputated foot if they shot themselves there. Brandon shot himself in the chest. Not the heart, though. It gives to show that he wanted to have others feel sorry for him, for others to see how he was right, to make them suffer, to make them cry for him. He didnt' want to shoot the heart, that was instant death. But in the organs.. he maybe wouldnt' die.. if he shot himself in a specific place. If he shot himself in the legs, everybody would've known that he didn't want to die.. was just a loser who wanted people to feel sorry for him. People would not have believed that he was somebody who had troubles, who needed to be pitied. In other words, Brandon was smart. The location was specific too. Right by the cafeteria.. coincidentally next to the parking lots.. where paramedics can zoom in and get him into their van quickly. Where police could have quick access to him and the gun used. How.. convenient? Hmm, maybe so.

Today I heard a lot of annoying stuff... like how people who commit suicide are stupid, crazy, selfish people who have thought to their family and friends. Well, people don't know what was going on inside of Brandon's head.. the emotional buildup and "I can't take it anymore.. let me die" feeling. Nobody knows what actually went through his head. Nobody went through what he went through. Nobody had the traumatic experiences he did. So nobody has any right to judge him. Personally, I think it's awfully sad if somebody commits suicide, but I would never for a moment think of them as insane or crazy or plain stupid. In fact, they're very intelligent.

Brandon probably came to school for attention and to show his girlfriend something in person. In front of her. She'll probably be emotionally paralyzed now.. in the sense that she'll never forget it. It might haunt her someday down the line. *sigh* Things just happen the way they happen. But I do wonder why he SHOT himself.. there are other less painful ways.. carbon monoxide poisoning in a car, jumping down a bridge (you die before hitting water), jumping in a pool, freezing yourself to death, sleeping pills (i dont recommend that one, however), etc.. Hanging is horrible. I don't understand why people do it that way.. shooting is bad too. I mean.. if you shoot yourself, you might not always die, and the dying might even be painful. Or you might shoot yourself in the wrong way, and you might live without any legs. How would you like to live without legs? It's better to die cleanly, than to live with a crippled body. Cuz if you're gonna kill yourself, it should be down in a clean sweep. No messy jobs.. Brandon was lucky. He didnt' survive with a deformed head.. or missing legs.. and missing arms. Read Johnny Got His Gun. They have nice descriptions there.

goolia prophesized your future at 02:21 p.m.

Thursday, April 10, 2003 [the half renewal of october 31, 2001]

Today.. at lunch.. a guy shot himself in the chest, near the stomach in our school cafeteria. It was probably the first time somebody did it. What's more.. his friends say that he told people last week he was going to commit suicide, but nobody took him seriously. He went to the hospital, and died shortly afterwards. Pray for him. Some said that it was due to personal problems.. especially with his girlfriend, who was hyperventilating and having spasms, and also went to the hospital. They say that she treated him really badly. Hmm.

Fifth period.. some people went home cuz their parents came to fetch them.. and I saw somebody cry. so I couldn't help it, and I was crying the first half of the period. Mr. Belcher put on Beauty and the Beast for us to watch. Then, I talked to Alex about Biology.. it looks really hard.. I MUST PULL UP MY GPA!!! ahhhhh....

Then 6th period, thank god, our chem test was postponed. Its' gonna be tomorrow.. good.. I didn't understand much of it. Now I do. Mr. Schultz talked about how one of his players on his old basketball team almost shot himself before.. and now Mr. Schultz almost shot himself cuz his grandpa and mother died.. and he cried too. Reminds me of when Jinfae said he told the same story to her class last year.

While me and Jack were waiting for my mom to come and pick us up... some woman had a yellow notepad and a pen in her hand and walked over to us, saying she was from the San Gabriel Valley Tribune Newspaper.. gosh annoying reporters!! She kept asking.. did you know her personally??? We're like... nooo.. hes a senior.. we're sophomores.. no, we know stuff but we dont want to tell you.. go away... gosh and she was dressed like a teacher with a walnut tag around her neck. PSCHHH....

I just came back from open house. it was boring.. got a paper-cut from passing out papers. Two bloody ones, in fact. My mom pissed me off on the way home. I was talking online late at night and doing my hw at the same time, and so cuz of that, I can't have a computer in my home in our new house. She just pissed me off. I wanted to just strangle her. Or do something crazy. The suicide today reminded me of this morning at breakfast, when my mom pissed me off again and I wanted to kill myself again. Quite coincidential, I haven't felt suicidal in a long time until recently. Everything's been going badly. Heh. Can't wait until college.. now I have to go in case my mom sees me online again. That bitch.

goolia prophesized your future at 08:35 p.m.

Wednesday, April 9, 2003 [sore from scissors]

Don't you just hate those super-flexible freaks?

Woke up late.. boring euro.. well, actually it wasn't THAT boring.. and I got a good test grade back.. WOW...*gasp*. Then .. enrichment was.. EURO AGAIN.. double boringness... and Frances told me that yesterday I missed a fun euro session!! omgosh!! She said that Mr. Johanssen came in and said the word "penis" and "vagina" or whatever. Man... he should come in for Freud!

English was whatever.. essay, I always finish like 10 minutes early.. it's weird, sometimes I think I didn't write enough or it's not of a "good quality".. then this guy who will remain unnamed pisses me off in english. Gosh.. once my friend told me that a certain team on campus is just like the equivalent of the Dance Team.. in other words, they act really snobbish at times. How true. He's in that team.. and gosh he's so snobbish. I wanted to strangle him. Pisses me off. >.<

Then.. lunch.. then... chemistry. I had Schultz sign my color guard tryout papers and the lab was fun. I liked to see it fizzle and sizzle and pop bubbles. So Frances and I did the experiment three times. I added like HUGE amounts of magnesium oxide.. instead of 2 peas, it was more like 10 large fat peas. ahahahhaha. Then color guard clinics came next, I spent the whole 3 fukn hours helping people. The 3 guys were still there.. LOLz.. u should see them "try" to dance!

I helped Jennifer and her friend w/ laterals and the new parts they missed.. helped Eddie with the extension toss.. helped this other girl with a piorette... then helped some other people. There's about 50 or so that are going to try out. hehehe.. im worrying though.. that i wont make it.. AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

goolia prophesized your future at 08:05 p.m.

Monday, April 7, 2003 [my pierced ears hurt]

I was so excited about the first day of color guard clinics today.. but it could easily be explained by one simple word: boring.

We spent like.. the first hour and thirty minutes introducing color guard to the new people and doing across the floors.. which were the extreme basics. Then we got into our respective groups.. fresh, soph, junior, senior.. the incoming freshmen.. there were only like SEVEN of them!! And for incoming sophs, there were like FOURTY.. hahaha. For us, incoming juniors, we had probably 30 or so. Seniors.. not much... 10? Hehehe.. and Tiffany had warned me already that some of them, especially the incoming freshies, would have attitudes and act like they were so good and the best. She was sooo right.

This one new girl.. she'll be unnamed here.. was all like.. "oh, they're gonna be taking 25 people in all." i was like .."uhh.. noo.. actually, we're going to be taking 30 people." and then she gave me a face and attitude and acted as if i didn't know anything. Man, I just wanted to slap her across the face. I told what happened to Tiffany and Nina later.. and they were like I should've just whacked them w/ my flag. ahahahahaha. I sorta feel sorry for her afterwards though.. for her "lack of social skills(?)".. cuz nobody else seemed to like her either.

Then we spent the rest of the time doing drop spins and single tosses for like forever... goshhh!!!! BORING!!!! Then finally we learned a small portion of the tryout routine. Then it was six.. time to go!

goolia prophesized your future at 07:42 p.m.

Sunday, April 6, 2003 [six flags is sooo @*(%)&#^*$%^!!!]

My watch's alarm clock rang at exactly 7 am. Time to get up. I was soo nervous.. cuz of the west regionals competition... I sprang out of bed and started to eat breakfast, then quickly changed into our performance dress, then did my hair.. etc.. and it was already 8:30. I called Kristyn, who was gonna give me a ride there. She said that the reason we were going so early was to play first, then change. I was like.. WTF?? So i changed for nothing?? Basically that, she said. So i changed back into normal clothes, then my dad took me to school, where I was meeting up with Katherine, Anna, and Kristyn. Anna's dad had given Katherine a ride to school and they were eating McDonald's breakfast. Yum. Then we waited forever, and finally Kristyn and her dad showed up. We got into the car, and zoomed off to Magic Mountain.

a hour or so later of riding in the car...

Upon arriving, I really needed to go to the bathroom. However, we had to wait like 15 minutes in line for the security checks. Dude, that stupid security guy searched my color guard bag like forever. I had to open all the little pockets while he stuck his lil metal detector stick, poking around my bag. Then we turned in our tickets ($25 as competitors, compared to $44 original price), and looked around like FOREVER for a bathroom. Finally, we found one, and waited in line for THIRTY freakn minutes. The line reached all the way out. Afterwards, it was already 11:30 AM, and we had to meet Mrs. Schultz and the rest of the people at 1:00 PM, and it would take an hour to change and put on makeup. So we only had 30 minutes left. And you can't do anything with 30 mins, so we ended up going to the Golden Bear Theatre early, and watched lil cheerleaders and dancers compete. It was very interesting.. esp. those lil hulahoop girls!! ahahahahaah.

Then we went to change, and it took around 30 minutes. Afterwards, we went to the lockers to get one. You needed about 4 tokens (4 dollars) for a big locker cuz we had four fat bags to stuff in. So we all pitched in a dollar except Kristyn cuz she only had a 20. We stuffed in the tokens, and then Katherine closed the locker. It really locked. Then she stuck in the orange key again, and it opened. Except. The key stayed in. We were like WHAT THE FUCK why won't it come out.. and then we found out that it was one-time-use. It was four tokens per opening of the locker. We were so pissed off, so instead we pitched in another 3 coins to get a smaller locker. We didn't want to pay 4 coins.. hahaha we're so stingy. The 3 token locker was TINY.. and we stuffed it to the MAX. Later, when we opened it, it nearly popped out.

We went back to the Golden Bear Theatre, where we would perform later, and we met Rey. IT WAS ONE O'CLOCK AND SHE STILL HAD REGULAR CLOTHES ON!!! WE WERE LIKE OMAGOSH REY, QUICK UP AND DRESS!!!! While Katherine, Kristyn, and Anna just stood there, I told Rey to run and follow me. I took her to the nearest bathroom and told her to dress like crazy. I ran back, and Katherine told me Schultz wanted her permission slip. I ran back to teh bathroom like crazy and Rey was done. By this time, my fishnets and tights were killing me, I was out of breath, thirsty, and very tired. Me and Rey ran back, and saw Schultz. She told us to go to the practice arena. It was 1:15, and our performance time was 2:30. I was pissed off. Why the hell were we here so freakn earLY???????? We waited more than an hour in the practice arena doing nothing, cuz if we were to practice, we would've knocked down a few trees and killed a few people with our flags. The arena was tiny.

How long did we wait? 4:00 PM. We waited 3 freakn hours in that arena, sitting in the sun and getting blown around by the cold wind. We were all grumpy, HUNGRY.. we hadn't eaten lunch yet and it was 4:00 PM. We were also thirsty and mad at schultz for making us come so early. Finally, we performed, and it was probably one of our first performances. Anna happened to be in the middle of our first pose, and she messed up and dropped her flag. Everybody was like OMG. The stage was TINY... and everybody hit everybody. I hit Carolyn.. and her thumb was really sore.. so since she was my partner for the suicide toss, she tossed a bad one and I had to run to catch it. Then I hit Jessica.. and she almost dropped her flag. ahahahaha. However, nobody else dropped. Poor Anna.

Then it was about 4:30 PM.. me and Kristyn got our stuff from the lockers and headed out to eat. We found a restaurant after looking for 15 mins.. but the wait was 25 mins. hell no.. then we found a fast food hamburger place. We were both hungry enough to eat a cow. We ordered, and the guy at the cashier dropped my change into my drink. >.< But he gave me a new coke later. We ate, and then I called my dad at 5:00.. he said he was coming in 10 mins. So we didn't have any time to go on rides. We walked as fast as we could to the entrance.. and this was right after we ate, so we got some cramps. We got in my car, and my parents took Kristyn home.

Then we went to eat dinner.. and then to buy a few things. Now.. I'm at the hotel and eating speckled malted easter eggs. yum... hahaha. COLOR GUARD CLINICS TOMORRROW!!!!!

goolia prophesized your future at 08:27 p.m.

Saturday, April 5, 2003 [cold saturday.. i love it!]

I woke up early today.. it's cold.. hehehe, but I like the cold weather!! I soo can't wait until college so I can run off to the East.. my hometown.. my birthplace. I have to finish all of my homework today, because all day tomorrow, I'm gonna be going to Six Flags Magic Mountain for a west coast regionals competition. I just called Kristyn this morning, cuz she's gonna take me, anna, and katherine there.. and I'm taking kristyn back home after going on a few scary rides. hahaha. okay, my internet's being weird.. g2g before it shuts down or something!

goolia prophesized your future at 10:40 a.m.

Friday, April 4, 2003 [yesterday felt like a friday and today feels like a thursday]

I woke up by the deafening screams of my mother. That's an exaggeration, actually.. it was more like an angry almost-not-quite-yell. I took an hour to finish the remaining packing I had do to, then I was off to school. Why was I packing? Cuz I'm moving to Chino in June... and so now we have to do a termite thingy so I'm off to a hotel right now. FUfufunn... w/ my own comp w/ me too!! hahaha. 1st period.. as usual.. practiced for the competition on sunday.. because this Sunday, we're going to Six Flags Magic Mountain for a Color Guard regionals competition.. mrs. schultz says it's state.. but I checked their website online, and it's REGIONALS for the west coast. =Þ

second period.. i just gave up on listening to the especially-boring lecture that awe had today, so screw it. I also abandoned on taking notes. Third period.. Renaissance Rally... I went there to see the performers and I guess my expectations were too high. ~_~ Halo-halo.. I saw their routine a long time ago, cuz about half of them are in Color Guard.. or were in it. teeheez.. and BYU didn't make the renaissance rally, lol i wonder why... *sarcastic* I'm sorry, but I really don't think they're that good. Wushu came.. and at first it was pretty good.. but I think this one guy kept messing up or it didnt' look right so that sorta screwed it up.. and in the end, I thought it was sort of surprising. Out of all of the dancing performances today, I thought they routines all weren't that well choreographed. Especially the halo-halo one w/ the music. Hip-hop Club also came.. and theirs wasn't really a routine routine.. it was more like a show of each person's showmanship and special talent. The kool thing about them, though, was that they had rappers, which surprisingly didn't make themselves look that bad. The really surprising thing, though, was CODE BROWN. When they announced their name.. I was like omagosh i finally get to see their performance.. it sounded pretty good ( as far as the music goes ) but the lyrics were hard to hear. Some people were mocking that.. and well it's not exactly their fault. =Þ

The thing that sucked was that we had to go back to 3rd period. YUCK. And we missed fourth. SUCKS. I wanted to go to english today!!! I was really curious to know if I had done a good job on my "Exile" commentary or not. hahah..then spanish was kool. We read the Tiempo Borró again, and Jaime and I paired up to talk about the story. I actually think I'm doing better.. and still improving. Good sign. ^_^

Sixth period.. just chem. I spent most of the time copying euro notes for German Unification. I finally finished it too!! thanks a bunch francium!! *hugz*

Later on I might work on my site.. depends if my parents are going to be watching me every so often or not.. hmmmm....

*lol* people are so funny and weird sometimes..

E3 Swtlilanna E4 (8:44:38 PM): i jammed mah finger
a n i cymoon (8:44:57 PM): aww.. who did it?
E3 Swtlilanna E4 (8:45:53 PM): bbal
E3 Swtlilanna E4 (8:47:20 PM): l0lx
E3 Swtlilanna E4 (8:47:23 PM): a friend
E3 Swtlilanna E4 (8:48:24 PM): buh yah
E3 Swtlilanna E4 (8:48:29 PM): it still hurtz!
E3 Swtlilanna E4 (8:48:34 PM): and iz all big
E3 Swtlilanna E4 (8:48:38 PM): i mean sorta
a n i cymoon (8:49:00 PM): hahahaha
a n i cymoon (8:49:04 PM): it's okay
a n i cymoon (8:49:08 PM): it'll shrink
E3 Swtlilanna E4 (8:50:05 PM): hahahhahahhahahahhahahahhahah
E3 Swtlilanna E4 (8:50:14 PM): shrink?
E3 Swtlilanna E4 (8:50:15 PM): l0lx
E3 Swtlilanna E4 (8:50:25 PM): if it shrinkz then it would be all def0rmed!
E3 Swtlilanna E4 (8:50:26 PM): l0lx
a n i cymoon (8:50:51 PM): .....
a n i cymoon (8:50:54 PM): lol

hahaha.. if something shrinks.. why would it be all deformed?

Steph: don't tell anybody about mr. cute guy!!!!

WiMpYaZnKoOfReAk (9:04:46 PM): "*sigh* he's so kute!"
WiMpYaZnKoOfReAk (9:04:51 PM):
oooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmgggggooooooooodddddddnnnnnnnneeeeeeeesssssssssss
a n i cymoon (9:04:58 PM): lol
a n i cymoon (9:05:01 PM): u don't know him
a n i cymoon (9:05:03 PM): and no, it's not you
WiMpYaZnKoOfReAk (9:05:08 PM): lol!!!!!!
WiMpYaZnKoOfReAk (9:05:14 PM): i had no intentions of it bein me
WiMpYaZnKoOfReAk (9:05:22 PM): im not conceited!

Riiight... hahaha, sorry warren, i can't trust you not to tell anybody! lol!

goolia prophesized your future at 03:59 p.m.

Thursday, April 3, 2003 [damn that lady can talk forever!!]

thoroughly stressing yet exciting day.. If I'm supposed to survive in IB.. I've decided that it's time to forget my past and forget my grudges and just start anew. Cautioned, but forgiving.

mrs. schultz still made me practice 1st period.. even w/ my injured foot.. freakin.... arghhhhh

I got a good grade on euro! yay!! ~_~

math.. boring..

english.. the GLCS FINALLY came to talk about IB and all.. now I get to fill out forms!! My favorite!!!

Spanish.. I think I did really well on my oral, and mr. belcher said "bien dicho"..which means well said. hehehehe.

During Chem.. I ran over to see ms. karr w/ frances.. and we talked until 3:15 PM.. almost 45 minutes? She talked about the IB criteria.. blahblahblah, and we finally filled out a form/application for it. She also told us to tell more people about it. So since Frances told me Candice was doing it.. and I saw her on the way home, I told her to see Ms. Karr about the application and stuff.

Oh yeah.. during lunch, I went to see Ms. Michalski about the bio ap placement test.. and we got it all worked out in sync w/ the color guard tryouts. yay!!! ^_^ Also.. for summer school, I'm not gonna take Art anymore.. don't need a VPA (visual performing art) requirement anymore, so I might help ms. kondan again. It's all worked out!

goolia prophesized your future at 03:48 p.m.

Wednesday, April 2, 2003 [average wednesday?]

I had so much sleep last night.. it's weird.. usually when I have too much sleep, I'm sleepy the next day, and when I'm short on sleep, I'm unusually alert and awake. And then when I have VERY LITTLE sleep.. I'm just like dead. hahaha. Second period.. euro.. test was weird.. guessing was easier than usual though. Probably got a C on it. Ack.. and took notes the rest of the period.. enrichment.. color guard, I told mrs. schultz how dancing on tip toes for a couple hours resulted in a humongous blister on the bottom of my foot, from the dreadful practice we had yesterday. Her reply? "Good." FREAKN....

Fourth period.. english was okay. I wanted so badly to get the information from the GLCs regarding the IB paths and such, but no such luck. We wrote an essay about "Exile".. and i thought i did pretty good! yay! Then we spent the rest of the time thinking about the book club.. orginally we were gonna do a dance.. then no.. so now it's a gameshow and a mix of a chinese Sula. LOL!!

In chem.. me and frances told schultz we would be gone tomorrow, to see Ms. Karr (mrs?) and yeah.. about taking advanced drama. Mr. Schultz told us about bio, chem, and physics ap tryout dates. I'm in Ib.. so I will automatically be in it, but I still have to go. And it sucks.. cuz the tryout dates are the dates for one of the days for the Color Guard clinics. Iono how I'm gonna work this one out... and then I spent the rest of chem taking lecture notes from Frances, cuz I missed Tuesday's evening session cuz of dancing on my TOES in color guard. freakn a. Helen says she might tryout w/ me next week for color guard! yay!!! ^_^ anyway.. so much hw.. so tired.. gotta go!

goolia prophesized your future at 03:05 p.m.

Tuesday, April 1, 2003 [IB PATH]

Path E!!! THE SMART WAY TO GO!!! Theater Arts and Biology. YEah. history sucks.. (boring).. and art.. i cant draw for crap.. so i might as well act!! hahaha.

goolia prophesized your future at 08:20 p.m.

Monday, March 31, 2003 [pretty good day!!]

i found out that I hate sundays.. like mondays.. tuesdays ok.. wednesdays pretty good.. thursday ok.. friday good.. saturday... so-so.. sometimes bad. Cuz weekends are usually time to catch up w/ homework or like study for tests. Unless.. I actually can let myself have a life and actually plan that damn bday party. lol.

Color guard was funny today. .freshies had to go to the physical fitness testing.. that takes away 4 ppl.. 8 ppl had to learn the tryout routine to teach the new ppl.. that left like FOUR others to practice our competition routine for this saturday, which included me. and u cant really practice w/ 4 ppl.. hahaha, so we sorta sneaked in and tried to watch the seniors make up the tryout routine. haha.

Euro was boring.. math was boring.. eng was ok.. spanish was bleh as usually. stupid belcher doesnt call on me and i need my freakn participation points!!!! ><. Then.. chem I had a test.. I think I did okay on it. Then me and frances stupidly ran to our euro class for the dbq.. we're such idiots, everytime there's an essay or dbq after school to do, we always run. dont' ask me why. we even had our papers in our hands, ready to write. i even numbered mine, with my name, period, and date on them. hahahaa.. in my other hand i had a pen and white-out. lol. we're such freaks. the prompt was easy.. the documents and bias were hard. BE NICE MS. PUZO!!!!!! i wish i had ms. crisci.. she had a 100% pass rate last year. POOH. it sucks being guinea pigs.

goolia prophesized your future at 07:21 p.m.

Saturday, March 29, 2003 [that ugly, pimply, pie-faced, wretched, miss emotional]

gosh.. as i think about it, the more I think about the way that she.. well this miss emotional doesn't even deserve to be called a "she".. okay... i'm going to refer to her as "Fea". yes, a spanish implination. Well, Fea has pissed me off SOOOO much last year.. this year.. the more I think about it, the more instances I come up with that makes me hate her so much.. dude, I don't even know why I put up with so much anyway. Talking shit behind my back. I mean, I don't mind if people talk behind my back cuz everybody talks about everybody behind their backs, whether it be good or bad. But I just think that if she has something to say about what I do, then she should just say it in MY FACE. And Fea should just stop chickening out. And it's not just Fea. There are so many other people I have to deal with everyday, I really wish I could just leave school and go somewhere else. So.. I have created a new section in my buddy list... for just.. BLAH people.. like for people i dont talk to online and for people like Fea, just to name a few. I rounded up all the names, and put them in that "special" section. There were 52 of them. Only less than 10 are hypocritic ones like Fea.. the rest, I just simply don't like talking to them. Then I clicked the arrow so that I wouldn't have to see their ugly screen names whenever they go online. and if you're reading this, and YOU think you might be Fea and the other hypocritical ones.. well , you probably aren't. They have been known to visit my site once a while, but they're probably too stupid and dull to read anything on it. For those that thought my pro-war "speech" earlier was annoying, cuz you probably hate Bush, well.. this one's for you: *say thank you!!* it's hilarious.. and it's about Bush. There's a link to it on my site: http://genevieve.tk

goolia prophesized your future at 02:28 p.m.

Friday, March 28, 2003 [IRENE IS SOOOO FUNNY... ^_^]

I was not going to post today.. until I read my friend, Irene's, blog. HAHAHA.. it's hilarious. Especially about this part where she tells Andy that she's having a baby.. then he asks Mike what they two have been doing.. (btw, she's pretending her backpack is her baby, she's not seriously having a baby).. and then she says studying, opens her backpack and says chem and math. then he says.. oohhh.. CHEMISTRY. ahahahahaahahahahaha. that's so freakn funny.

goolia prophesized your future at 06:06 p.m.

Thursday, March 27, 2003 [Battle of "Wanting to go to Sleep"]

Man.. im sooooooo sleepy and weak and tired and all.. ever since I woke up at 6 am this morning. I slept like around 1 am cuz of freakn homework.. and even so i didn't get to finish my chem nor spanish hw. so i did spanish during color guard, and chem during live poets' society. hah. I couldn't even concentrate on anything today... not even in color guard. The competition people were practicing our routines.. and gosh, I couldn't even concentrate on it. all these people were like.. JULIA!!! dont forget to bring ur flag back up on count 4!!! julia!!! form the formations!! julia!! blahblahblahblahblah.. you get the point? it's called sleep deprivation. yes.

euro was boring.. sleeeeeepyyyyyy.... math.. i had a freakn presentation. goshhhh. spanish, was okay i guess. chem.... was fun today.

goolia prophesized your future at 03:17 p.m.

Wednesday, March 26, 2003 [interesting day.. average (?)]

actually woke up today. I mean, usually my alarm clock rings, I click it off, go back to sleep. Then my mom wakes me up. But today, I actually got up out of bed with the help of my alarm clock. Lol.. I should do that more.. especially when I go to college.

Second period.. euro ... lol boring as usual, and I almost fell asleep. Then.. 6th period enrichment, they were going to show the Mustang Update by the Video Production Class.. but some "technical difficulties" arose. Then.. 4th period, English.. we spent most of the time watching the Mustang Update, talking about "A Streetcar Named Desire".. my group was Brian.. Pierce.. Helen.. Tommy.. and Michael. We were supposed to "expertise" in Blanche. Which included a bunch of stuff.

Sixth period.. chem.. we had a fun lab today!! Even though most of the time was spent on figuring out how to measure the rock salts and the ice cubes. Man.. my hands were like almost frozen, too. We got a huge plastic jar, filled it full with 400 g of rock salt, 2000 g of ice, and then stuck in 3 jars filled with vanilla ice cream. Then we shook it, and then this was the fun part. Me, Frances, and Rebecca sat on the floor, forming an odd-looking triangle. Then we rolled the jar back and forth!! FUNN!!! IT might not sound fun.. but it was fun when we rolled it as fast as we could in a pattern towards each other. hahahaha. Then, we opened the jar, and fetched out our lil ice cream jars. Those "ice cream jars" are actually baby food containers that we were supposed to bring for extra credit. However, I didn't exactly like the ice cream... so I gave it all to Frances. She gobbled it up in a couple of minutes. Lol.

I have to remind myself.. Daniel, in my chem class, has a lifetime pass that insures that I will never kick him again. He gave me a brand new baby jar for chem.. so that I could get my extra credit. Yay!!! Thanks!!!!

Then after school, I went to the Teen Center for tutoring.. gosh.. my backpack was so freakn heavy too, and I had to walk all the way there. hehehe. Wilson Lin(?) was there to sign me in, and to give me my activity ticket and stuff. There was only me and this one other guy. Wilson usually never talks, but today I asked him a math question and he's actually quite talkative. Hahaha. Now.. I have loads of hw to do.. ahhhHHHHHHHhhh!!!!!!!

Thanks to Irene.. I was reading her blog and decided to take the SEDUCTION QUIZ!!! hahaha... here it goes:

I am the Charmer

Charm is seduction without sex. Charmers are consummate manipulators, masking their cleverness by creating a mood of pleasure and comfort. Their method is simple; they deflect attention from themselves and focus it on their target. They understand your spirit, feel your pain, adapt to your moods. In the presence of a Charmer you feel better about yourself. Learn to cast the Charmer's spell by aiming at people's primary weaknesses: vanity and self-esteem.

Symbol: The Mirror. Your spirit holds a mirror up to others. When they see you they see themselves: their values, their tastes, even their flaws. Their lifelong love affair with their own image is comfortable and hypnotic; so feed it. No one ever sees what is behind the mirror.

What Type of Seducer are You?
created by

polite_society

Tuesday, March 25, 2003 [Some Stuff]

Iono.. but I've been thinking about it today, while waiting for my mom to come and pick me up from Guard practice. Whenever somebody asks me for a ride, and I know them and they're my friend, I'll be more than obliging to say yes or maybe, cuz I have to ask my parents of course, since they're the ones with the final decisions and the ones actually "driving." However, it pisses me off when SELFISH people, those people that when you ask them for the simplest thing, and they say no, even when they could let you borrow it or whatever, and then they expect you to give them a ride home. I mean.. wtf?? I can't stand those selfish people who only know how to take and not to give. I absolutely dislike helping those people, but I end up helping them anyway. Also.. those people who are so freakn mean and just plain rude, ask for favors all the time. And then when you say NO, cuz it's obvious you guys aren't friends, they get all pissy and call YOU selfish. That is so freakn wrong. The other thing that's really weird is when "aquaintances," in other words, people you know and maybe have talked a few times, but otherwise wouldn't consider them as your friends. They never talk to you unless necessary. It's annoying how those people ask for rides home. Like.. you don't even talk to them.. and they just go up to you out of nowhere, start talking disgustingly sweet to you, smiling, and cleverly lead the conversation on to how pitiful they are, how they don't have a ride. Then, they reach the conclusion: Can you give me a ride? That pisses me off. How they try to manipulate the conversation in their favor, because they are just trying to USE the person. They are not your friend, and they wouldn't talk to you otherwise, if it werent' for getting a ride. And then, afterwards, after giving them a ride home cuz you're just so nice, they ignore you afterwards. Don't talk to you, cuz you guys aren't friends. Then, when the time arises again, they NEED to USE you again. Once again, they become sickenly sweet and try to get something from you. I mean, if they're just going to use somebody to achieve their selfish ends, I'm not going to help them. I'm not saying I'm against giving people rides, because I totally understand how people's parents work, how they might not have a cell phone, and how schedules just work that way. I'm more than willing to help. To people who are friends and not trying to use me. It's also selfish when people are perfectly able to get a ride, ie, from their parents, but they're too damn lazy to call them, or asking them. So they ask a friend, and that just doesn't make sense. I mean, if you have a means of asking your own family, then by all means go do so, and stop making other people do all these favors for you. We're not your servants.

goolia prophesized your future at 09:11 p.m.

Saturday, March 22, 2003 [facts about the war]

Some updates about what's going on with Operation Iraqi Freedom... at first, Bush only did a few attacks, one on a presidential palace, and the reason he did not use his "shock and awe" tactic right away, was because he thought Saddam Hussein might have been in that specific palace, and he felt it would be better to get rid of Hussein in a small attack, than using a full on mode. Then later, Saddam Husein appeared on a national television. However, they were unsure if it was really him or not because reporters said that it was an old tape of Saddam's voice and the video of him was not actually him. So, Saddam might have really died. Who knows.. it's not like the Iraqi government officials would actually go out and parade the fact that he's dead.

Then, Pentagon issued the "shock and awe" a day or so later, and the CH-46 Sea Knight(s)(?) fell, due to mechanical difficulties, and not to enemy fire. A few Iraqis surrendered, and some soldiers died and some were injured. Some US tanks were also destroyed by the British A couple days later, the US and British army decided to press in toward Baghdad, and Barma (sp? a southern Iraqi city) was captured, which happened today... and there's been about 12 soldiers captured by the Iraqis as Prisoners of War.. VERY SAD.. I hope there's no use of torture in this, it is not morally right and it's unjust. One of them was a woman, too. US and British soldiers are still pressing towards Iraq, but there's still some Iraqi resistance. News reporters expect that they will reach Baghdad at around Monday (tomorrow) or Tuesday. Also, I just read an AOL report, and it said that, "Iraq said it would respect the Geneva Convention guaranteeing humane treatment of prisoners." I hope so.. cuz imagine what their families back home would think. Pray for them!!

Meanwhile, the Oscars are today, at around 5 pm, and it STILL is going to be held, regardless of the war.

goolia prophesized your future at 12:10 p.m.

Saturday, March 22, 2003 [Confirmation Ceremony 2003]

Yay!! I finally got confirmed today.. after two years of community service, classes, penance services, retreats, and evenings of reflection. It signals the end of doubt and the beginning of adulthood. Sort of, actually. It's my 4th Sacrament... Baptism, Reconciliation (Penance), First Communion, Confirmation. The next one's marriage.. so hah. That shouldn't come in awhile. Then Annointing of the Sick.. and death? I'm not sure.. I need to check it up. I got my baptism in Jersey City, New Jersey.. back in the good old days of New York and such. Reconciliation and Communion was when I went to St. Paul Apostle Catholic Church.. I heard there's a new church that they built and its' huge!!! It can fill like 2500 people, and also, Mr. and Mrs. Schultz are gonna be married there. I'm invited!! ahahahahahaha.. I would haunt them forever if I went.

We had to arrive at St. Lorenzo Ruiz Catholic Church at 9:15 AM today, but my sponsor was late and came at 9:20 AM, I was worried to death that she wasn't coming or something, cuz everybody else's sponsor was here already. Then we lined up, there were about 107 or so people being confirmed.. and I was second in line! MUAHH!!!! They let us wear (temporarily, we had to return them later) red shawl thingies.. cuz you know, the Confirmation ceremonies always has the main colors of red and gold. It's just like that. Then everybody marched in with their sponsors and all, and then started the two hour mass. It's the longest mass of the whole year, and the most special. Then the bishop Zawala marched in, and was dressed in richly ornamented red robes, with gold linings. It was sooo pretty.. and I stared at his hat!! Gosh it was soo kool. It was foldable, and was extremely tall, with nice designs. Dude, he looked like the pope. Then he threw some holy water on us, and me, being the second and in the front row, got my face all wet from the brush thingy. Lol. Then I walked up, got confirmed, back to my seat. Later, we had to take the Eucharist, and this time the newly trained Eucharistic ministers, mostly of them confirmandis themselves, got their first chance to give the blood and bread of Jesus. There were 9 of them.. and the 10th was the bishop himself. The area of the church where he was giving the bread happened to be where I was sitting, and since Confirmandi #1 was a Eucharistic minister and somewhere else delivering bread, I was first to get the host. Kool.. so I went up with my sponsor, and the piece he gave me was the original large round piece!!! The priest always has the small individual pieces for later, and a humongous piece for himself and the other priests there. I guess there was one leftover, and since I was the first, I got a part of the big piece!! So obviously, it was a broken piece, and tasted differently from the other small round pieces. But it made me feel special, sort of. Hahaha.. afterwards, I was looking for my mom and my sponsor's husband, Octavio. Alma (sponsor) and me went all over the place, and finally we found them. I picked up my certificate, retreat prayer book, and waited in line to take pictures with Bishop Zawala. Afterwards, I turned in my shawl, and we went home to meet up with my dad, who mysteriously didn't go. Then we met Alma and Octavio at Chile's .. the one by Red Lobsters and ate lunch together. It was pretty nice.. and Alma gave me so many presents. One was a Confirmation pin, Confirmation prayer book, covered in satin and in Spanish!! HAHAHAHA.. then a Confirmation glass rosary, and a Confirmation candle. They were all specially designed for church purposes. Also, she then gave me a silver necklace and a silver bracelet. Kool. She said it was handpicked by her daughters, Janet and Mita.. who I remember them both fondly. They're all married now.. but I can still remember back then when we were neighbors and they were so nice. Afterwards, my parents and I went to Costco so I could get a new backpack.. my old one's zipper keeps breaking. *sniff*. Now I'm at home, with millions of papers and homework piled up on my desk, just waiting for me to do them. *sigh* In a few minutes I'll have to go to eat dinner, and visit our new home, which is still under construction. Sorry for the long paragraph.. if you actually read it all through. Hahaha, laterz!

goolia prophesized your future at 03:20 p.m.

Friday, March 21, 2003 [Curse the Weather]

OMagosh.. I'm so freakn tired and weak and I can faint right now.. I just walked home and omg it's so fuckn hot!!! Jack had stagecraft after school.. and so I had to walk alone. I wanted to get home quickly, so I "powerwalked" home and the weather and so hot, the freakn sun was in my eyes, my glasses were bugging me, my backpack was so heavy, I was so tired from the immense lack of sleep, and now my hands are so tired I can't even type. It's STILL extremely hot and I'm sooo tired.. I'm drinking tons of water now and eating a lot, in hopes I won't be so tired and hot anymore. ARGH........

Frances is at the Dance Tryouts right now.. the clinics were mon-thurs and today's friday, so the tryouts are today. I've heard that there's 47 people trying out for about 20-26 spots, with around eight spots open for new members, cuz there's 8 seniors. Good luck Frances!

I was gonna post some stuff here on the war on Iraq.. but i'm too tired.. don't feel like it.. I'll do it later!

goolia prophesized your future at 03:20 p.m.

Saturday, April 26, 2003 [my feelings on the war]

I was always going to post what i thought about the war here.. but somehow I kept forgetting. And since this topic (pro-war, anti-war) is so controversial and that i dont want to hurt anybody's feelings, let's leave it at this: if you are anti-war, as most ppl seem to be, please don't read on if you happen to be temperamental or having a bad day.

I am pro-war because I trust in Bush. Now, probably you're thinking of what an idiot I am, because you more than likely hate Bush and think he doesnt' know what the hell he's doing or that he's manipulating us. Well.. guess what. Since the majority of us voted for him, you might as well trust him, because I sure as hell do. We have no right to judge this war, if it's bad or not because we do not know what the president knows. It is obvious that Bush cannot leak out all the secrets to the public, and there are mMANY.... and i mean MANY, things that you don't know. and that i dont' know. Therefore, what right do you have to make an educated opinion of the war when you dont' even know the true facts? So you might as well leave it up to Bush, who is voted as the most capable. Now you might be thinking.. well, war is wrong no matter what the reasons are. WRONG!!! You might think war is morally wrong because people die. Well, according to inspectors and their reports to the UN, Iraq DOES have biological and chemical weapons, and maybe nuclear. Iraq HAS lied to the UN before, HAS manipulated the UN before, and HAS refused to cooperate before. Iraq houses and AIDS terrorists, so would you choose our lives or their lives? I think the latter. If we don't remove Hussein, the terrorists that he aids will attack us again (9/11) and there have been substantial evidence to support that, from the terrorists' own mouths. If we DO attack Iraq, which we have, we can get rid of Saddam Hussein and we will not even be centering on innocent civilians. We are only interested in restoring a peaceful rule in Iraq and removing Saddam Hussein. On the other hand, those terrorists that Hussein aids are intent on killing innocent Americans, such as in the WTC.

Now about France. France, Germany, and Russia are in this for one reason. Not because they are peace-loving countries, MY ASS. It just happens to bee SOOOOOOOO coincidental that if we win this war against Iraq, France, Germany, and Russia will lose much (and i mean a lot) money, especially their oil companies. To prevent their oil companies, they go against Bush and claim that they are peace-loving. THAT IS HORRIBLE. They are using a good moral to defend a digusting and corrupted reason. Go freedom fries! Now about the subject that Bush wants to wage war because of his "greediness" of oil. HAHAHHAHA. I like to laugh at that. There is no proof we want Iraq for oil, if we did, we would've attacked Saudi Arabia instead; they have more oil, you idiots. Besides, even if by some miniscule chance that Bush IS in it for oil, what's wrong about that??? He's doing it for YOU. FOR AMERICA. FOR THE UNITED STATES. Yes, for us. Why the hell would he want to have billions of oil buckets for himself? Hah, he can't even use a few thousand in his lifetime. He's doing it for the future of America. I dont' call that selfish. He's attacking Iraq to save America's freedom from the damn terrorists.

Now with the subject of nationalism. I dont like it when people, who live in America, who are maybe born here and moved in at a young age, hate America. They go, "oh gosh.. America is so selfish.. greedy.. wanting Iraq for oil, America should stop attacking Iraq." WELL YOU KNOW WHAT??? America is not attacking Iraq for Bush. America is OURSELVES. WE MAKE UP AMERICA. If you live here, you are part of America. Bush represents America, and we are America, so his actions are ours. Stop acting like you dont' live here. If you live here, then you appreciate freedom and liberty. If you love Iraq so much, go move over there. If you hate America so much that you call us greedy, then go back to Asia, Europe, or wherever you came from. JUst go back. I can't believe that people can LIVE here, RELISH in the freedom here, and then go on about how America is greedy and bossy. How can you be part of something, yet hate it, claim to want to help something (Iraq), when it infringes upon your own beliefs(freedom, etc)?? Those people are just freakn hypocrites. So if you hate the United States, then one word: LEAVE.

Okay, that ends my lil speech there, I didnt' intend it to be so long. If you've been insulted, I'm sorry. I warned you. I have more on this by another author, contact me if you want more.

goolia prophesized your future at 11:23 a.m.

Thursday, March 20, 2003 [the atrocity of others!!]

Today is March 20, 2003. Does it ring a bell? Hopefully not. Today was my birthday, and as usual, the saddest day of the year. I hate it. I always hate it. Which is why I prefer not to tell anybody my b-day date. The second worst day of the year is Valentine's Day. Third? Christmas. Call me weird. Call me pathetic. Call me ABNORMAL. I don't give a fuck.

Sometimes I don't understand how people act the way they do. Those selfish, uncaring, unthinking, moral-less people. I can't stand people w/ bad tempers.. I mean, if you've been having a bad day and such, I'd be more than happy to lend a caring ear and listen to your troubles. BUT NOT if you're having a bad day and you just want to pick on somebody or take it out on others. That's so inappropriate and rude. I wish I could just run away.. far away... to Alaska or somewhere. Then I could be all lonely, all by myself, to contemplate on life and giggle and laugh at how happy I would be.

On to school.. Color Guard, it was okay, and I learned that THREE fellow guardies were trying out for DAnce Team!! *GASP* Katherine and Iris.. and maybe Jessica.. iono. HAH. But, I sort of doubt that Katherine or Iris will make it because they usually don't choose seniors, unless they're old members. Hmmm... Euro ap.. Ms. Puzo finally found her scantrons, and I got a B. B/B-. My average grade in the class is a B-. Boohoo. Math I have a B+. English I have a B. Spanish i have a B. Chem i have an A-. This is pathetic... my grades are horrrible!!!!! How am I supposed to survive in IB??? I need to study more. If only I could get more As... ahhhhhhh!!!!

Bush started the war last night around 6:30 PM.. just a few strikes in Iraq. It was the beginning of the stages of the war. I hope we catch Saddam Hussein and that he doesn't escape like Osama bin Laden.

goolia prophesized your future at 03:15 p.m.

Wednesday, March 19, 2003 []

i am prepared to work my ass off to memorize for bio and history next year.. yeah.. I regret not trying hard enough to my full potential.. *tears* why is my life like this??? why couldn't i stop being lazy and selfish!!! I should stop thinking and dreaming.. instead I should start concentrating on what is ahead of me. *SIGH*

gosh.. i was going to write something here.. but then i forgot. DAMN IT!!!!! argh.. anways, i found out something: if i dont have time to do something today, i still will do it. even if it means no sleep. cuz if i keep saying i'll do it tomorrow, i'll never end up doing it. so i'll just do it TODAY. TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

goolia prophesized your future at 04:33 p.m.

Wednesday, March 19, 2003 []

Busy Day

Today I had to get up at 5:55 PM to go to school at around 7:00 for Spanish makeups, cuz I had to be absent to go to a IB meeting for sophomores. I was planning to take Bio and Art HL, but Ms. Crisci said that to take Art HL, you have to be really good in art. HAH... as if THAT explains ME. So then, I quickly LAST - MINUTE changed it to Bio and Hist, because I can't take Math, so the only thing left is history. Sigh... HISTORY.. *groanz*
Bush is going to attack Iraq in about less than two hours.. because right now is 3:18 PM and he's gonna attack at 5:00 pm. SCARY!! I hope it fulfills its role as a "lightning war" and it all succeeds. I hope the Iraqis riot against Saddam Hussein and oust him out! hehehe.
I found out that I can totally NOT stand guys (or girls) with like extremely high girly voices. I mean, girls are supposed to have girly voices, but not guys. I CAN stand it.. if like they're just friends or whatever, but if I were to choose a bf, they then could SO NOT have high voices.. my gosh unless im DESPERATE. lol, hopefully i'll never be that desperate. I also can't stand guys who laugh funny or EXTREMELY annoying.. like you know those kind of people who laugh all weird? There was this guy in my chem class today who kept LAUGHING AND LAUGHING.. it was HORRIBLE!!! it sounded like...*guguguguguhhh!!* que triste!

goolia prophesized your future at 03:15 p.m.

Tuesday, March 18, 2003 []

HASH(0x82848f4)

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goolia prophesized your future at 04:28 p.m.

Tuesday, March 18, 2003 []

IB meeting: today was the day of the IB meeting.. wowwerz.. I was worried that I wouldn't get the IB diploma.. but Ms. Crisci said that if I was worried about Spanish 4 IB, and since I would be taking that next year (junior year) cuz I'm in Spanish 3 honors right now, I could always wait until the end of Spanish 5 to take it. I was thinking, kool! I mean, by the end of Spanish 5, I should be much more proficient in spanish. Now I just need to ask her if we can take the IB exam at the end of spanish 4, and if i dont pass, if i can take it again at the end of spanish 5. lol. iono!

goolia prophesized your future at 03:21 p.m.

Monday, March 17, 2003 []

windy day: after school.. I went to the Calculus AB AP placement exam.. everything there was so freakn strict! I saw Karima there.. Tina, Grace, Warren, etc.. and this girl from my math class, too. Hehehe.. the test had 40 questions, and the first 20 were so freakn easy!! My gosh.. i was lucky cuz we happen to be learning about exponents in my math class, and they were like mostly about simplifying exponents and logarithms! pscha.. hahaha. I probably had a few questions toward the end that I didn't know, though. But not like it matters.. cuz IB students get in no matter what! HAH!!! GO IB!! lol. i'm such a freak. well.. gotta go do some spanish crap now.

goolia prophesized your future at 06:53 p.m.

Sunday, March 16, 2003 []

gosh.. I finally just came back from my church's Confirmation Ceremony Rehearsal.. and it was sort of boring. But, it was nice to see my sponsor, who used to be my old neighbor back in Chino Hills. After the rehearsal, we went to eat dinner together at Crabby Bob's. I ordered a BBQ chicken sandwich that came with TONS of fries. Hahaha. Then, the gossip time. My sponsor, Alma, told about her moving to Murrieta, etc.. and how her husband's, Octavio's, nephew (related through his sister) hung himself a few years back when he was 16 in his garage. No suicide note, no nothing. FREAKY. Also, Molly, another old neighbor, had a straying husband. He went off and had an affair with his boss's WIFE!!! And it lasted for 6 years until another co-worker accidentally found them out. Molly didn't know, and the boss didnt' know. The co-worker ratted them out, and the boss spied on them. When it turned out to be true, the boss nearly killed Molly's husband. Horrible. Word of advice: don't commit adultery. Lol.. *sigh*. It's sad how things like this happen all the time. They almost divorced, but now their marriage is repaired. For now, at least. I'm doing some homework on magical realism for Belcher.. we have to write an outline of a story. Blahblahblah.. and people in my euro study guide group are pissing me off. i hate it when people are late, or if they turn things in late. I also dislike it when people are irresponsible and unorganized. That just pisses me off... arghhhhh.. wuteva. bye.. ^_^

goolia prophesized your future at 06:33 p.m.

a tormented soul...