the fairy call
a spell for summoning the fairies

sit where the cat sits.
cross your toes.
close your eyes.
and smell a rose.
then say under your breath:
"i believe in fairies,
sure as death."
gadflykins! gladtrypins!
gutterpuss and cass!
come to me fairily
each lad and lass!

from lady cottington's pressed fairy book

cool 80's site!
i just found this really neat 80's site. it has all my favortie toys! i was so psyched to see all of my old friends that mom threw out years ago, again!

wesley!
so i just found a fellow wesley willis fan! check out this. pretty cool!

the amelia incident
i'm sitting here at the computer with amelia (my big fat kitty) on the desk next to me, and we're listening to the free comotion tape that i got at berkfest. when i first put it on, amelia looked up at me with this cute, happy look in her eyes, she then proceeded to roll over on her back, all cute. she really likes it! i think that i need to buy the whole album, head west, when it comes out, not just for me, but for amelia, the little sweetie!

julius

danger, i've been told to expect it
i begin my descent down the cold granite steps
and who could have turned among those I confide in?
i think that i know what i haven't known yet
'cause a week is a month and an hour a day
when your reaching just pushes it further away
with your past and your future precisely divided
am i at that moment?
i haven't decided
and stretching out into the sea... aquitana
is that what the prophet told me he saw?
you gave it to me but i really don't want it
i came out on top by the luck of the draw
'cause a week is a month and an hour a day
when your reaching just pushes it further away
and what's the return on the faith i've provided?
i think that i know now but i haven't decided
before you take another step,
don't blame it on yourself
`cause if you lay it on your brother when you're sleepin'
you'll wake up in the morning and you'll be gone

words can be very powerful. sometimes, the right person will say just the right words that you needed to hear, but didn't know that you needed to hear them until after they were said. this happened to me last night, and i am so thankful for them. my life is very good right now. a few months ago, i couldn't say that. i never would have thought that i would be where i am right now. it's crazy how life works like that. i realize now that some of things that happened in the past were mere stepping stones to help me across a span of time, leading up to something that is by far bigger and better. at the time, during my sadness, i thought that it was the end of the world. now i know that it was only the begining.

goat die!
the new deal totally rocked my world last night! we were sad that mr. tr was a no show, his loss. marie, erica, and i had a fabulous reunion! we hadn't all been together since the grape jam a few years back. the three of us are insane! we busted out with the goat die jam session. i've never laughed so hard in my life. i love those girls!

berkfest!
berkfest rocked my post-teenaged years! i saw some really killer bands, and am now obsessed with so many of them! check out some of their websites that i have linked on the side. i thnk that i am in love with ilhan ersahin, the tener sax/composer for wax poetic. he is probably the sexiest man i have ever seen in my entire life. when we saw them play, i swear to the goddess that he was making eye contact with me the entire time he played these really sexy, beautiful solos. it's like he is making love to his sax when he plays. ok, enough about that...
i made some really great new friends at berkfest, that i'm really psyched about! there were eight of us that caravaned together, and had quite a fit throwing hell ride on the most jam-packed scool bus, driven by a psycho woman. we camped at the bus stop. it was so ghetto fabulous! i have pictures that i would like to put up on here, but it is taking forever to upload them, and i'm freaking out about it right now. hopefully they'll be up later this afternoon.
tonight marie, diego, tr (aka ironman), erica, and i are all going to see the new deal play at the wetlands. i am so excited! they are my new favorite band. they play house/breakbeats electronica music. it sounds like they are spinning records, but they don't. they make the music organicly, playing only keys, drums, and bass. it's sick! i've never seen anything like it!

my big brother is coming home soon. i'm totally stoked about seeing him. he has been working in guam (of all places) since june. he's only going to be home for two weeks, before returning to guam, but it will be really good to see him. he is going to be able to go to the phish shows in albany on my birthday (sept. 8) weekend. it will be nice to spend my birthday with him. well, i guess i should get off my ass and get ready to head to tr's, and then to benny's, and then to BERKFEST!!

my silly obsesion
i'm almost ashamed to admit it, but i am totally and completely obsessed with that show, big brother. i hate it, but i can't stop watching. i even check the live videos on the website at once a day. i know, i know, i need to get a life. i really am the biggest nerd i know. as my lisa always says, "it's a good thing we're so cute. we wouldn't be able to get away with it if we were fat and ugly. could you imagine?!" hehe
since none of my friends are quite as dorky as i am, i have no one to talk to about the show. so, i'll talk to who ever feels like reading this. i think that casandra is going to win the million. she is the only one in the house that is really playing the game. everyone else is too caught up in the drama. she has remained totally neutral, and everyone goes to her when they have a problem. everyone likes her. i think that she totally knows what she is doing, and will deffinately leave there with the money.

yuck!
ok, so my mom gets this email today from my yucky ex boyfriend, mike, today wanting to know if she knows me. i guess he did an email search and her name came up. i don't know if i should write to him or not. i thought he was lost forever, but thanks to fuckin' technology, he's back. since i now have a way to get in touch with him it's going to be almost impossible to not write him out of curiosity. i just wish that he would go away forever, and never come back, but i guess that just isn't possible. well, i think i ned to write to him now. curiosity is killing me.

fun faerie game!
so, i really am the biggest nerd i know. i just serriously spent half an hour playing tic-tac-toe with a faerie. i need to get a life, take a shower, and leave the house. this is day two we are going on, still in my jammies!

i love being home in the summer! i'm still in my jammies, and i have absolutely no responsibilities for the next few weeks! i've been playing on the computer since i woke up. life is good! i love this page so much! today would've been pretty boring if i didn't have this to play around with. i learned so much about html just by playing around with stuff. also, marie helped me figure out how to download images for my page. she rocks!

my randomness
ok, so i had quite possibly the most random night last night. i started the evening at the otter with gretta and a friend of hers from long island, the two of us both thought that each others name was tara, and its not. that was pretty funny. then we ended up going to baccus, and emma was there. it was cool to see her, sorta. i was talking to her, and this fuckin' blond, white trash, from tennessee/ has posed in hustler, bitch kept saying shit to me like, 'stay away from emma! she's mine, bitch!' in her fuckin' trashy southern accent. i told her to shut the hell up, and that i'd get hat posse on her ass. she was drunk and just fucking around, but still. so, lisa has been saying for months that emma is gone, but i still had faith. not any more.
after the bar, i went to this random kid's house to smoke, and i meet some random carlisian (marie went to school in the same town). we had fun talking all about this bar called fast eddie's. so, i hang out there till about 4:30, then decided i needed bed. i walk into my apartment, and there's all these random people in my livingroom watching the matrix. random people that i'm friends with, hanging out with my roommates. it was just all very strange. my chair got tossed off the roof at some point. not happy. after everyone left i moved everything that i own into my room. i was pissed about my ashtray being tossed, but this was my chair. the thing that i need to sit in when i sew. my room is riddiculous right now. it's not very big, and i have so much shit in there, including my bike, thanks.
i finally get to bed somewhere around 5:30/6, and i had such a cool dream. lots of random people, including andrew trister, and phil erwin (is that his last name?) from high school. it was weird, but very, very good! a random dream to end a random night.

dork
so mr. giordano thinks he's the man over there with his fancy new web design that marie deserves all of the credit for. but i guess his site is too cool for a link to my page. whatever, diego! why don't you go learn how to play uno!

yesterday's adventures
so the fair was pretty much out of control. carneys are really fuckin' scary! the ghetto-ass rides are even scarier! i got to see all sorts of farm animals. i think that was my favorite part. they had pig races, we missed them. we are going to the state fair at the end of the month. now that should be sick! the weirdest part about the whole fair, was the fact that they don't call it funnel cake, they call it fried dough. why would you do such a thing?

after the fair, we went out to the bar. so much fun! i haven't been out in new paltz in weeks. i saw so many great people. it was open mic night at oaisis, and ludwig sang beauty and the beast. i've missed that kid. he is my speacil friend. this really scary guy started talking to me at one point. he claimed to be from england, but really wasn't. he was from some place in africa. after talking to me for all of two minutes, he asks if he can go back to my apartment with me. when i said no, he asked if he could walk me home. jesus h. christ! (if anyone can tell me what the h stands for, i'll give them a million dollars) some people just don't get it. i finally get rid of him, and he moves on to my friend jamie. fuckin' riddiculous! he tried to do the same thing to her. i just don't understand some boys. i wonder if he managed to get some poor girl to take him home with her.

here we go...
as promissed, august horoscopes...

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sep. 22)
Confusing events, developments and inner movements of many recent months may have stunned or overwhelmed you into silence and stillness, rare states of being for one as sharp-minded, clear-voiced and given to action as you are. But though you may feel you certain lack vital information, something solid you deem you must know or discover in order to be prepared for the next stage of progress, it is clear that you possess great resources of knowledge and wisdom that you are only beginning to get a grasp on. I also suspect you fear, on some level, that what resides in the future may be merely promise or hope, and not action or actual development, as past hopes have perhaps failed. But this is indeed no time to judge the future on the basis of the past, but rather a time to be vigilant with your creative power, and a rare moment in which to decide how you would have your world be if it could be any way you wanted.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 22)
You have endured a long period of enforced growth and limitation in your personal relationships, and it's clear to me that you both recognized the necessity for this, and that you are ready for a change. If I may propose a few possible shapes that change may take: For starters, the level of exchange (or mutual change) needs to increase in your relationships. You are now in a period where there are certain bottom limits established on what must go back and forth; what you must give, and what you must receive, in order to feel like a relationship is real. I suggest that you pay heed to both directions of your personal transactions. Second, your relationships must, and I know must is a strong word, but they must work in concert with your career, not against it, and your work must not fight against love. This you have no doubt figured out, though it may not be obvious that there are several important ways in which only you can facilitate this.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec. 21)
In the summer days ahead, I see you encountering a variety of unfamiliar influences which appear destined to provoke you to new states of mind and levels of awareness, and I mean in stunning ways, ways that you will never, ever forget. The effect is the potential to connect with a depth of devotion to life which has long lain in slumber. While it may feel like these influences are moving into your field of reality, you are in fact the moving object; your consciousness is shifting and your mind is awakening, far more than you realize, and more than in even the very strange five years that have passed. Indeed, it may seem like the lights are finally coming on, and how you could have missed certain key elements of your life, or overlooked certain necessities, or unbearable situations, will remain something of a mystery. The challenges you now face are likely to require a depth of faith that you have long forsaken -- but faith, as the wise say, is its own reward. Yet the deepest essence of the learning, as I see it, is how much changes when only you change your mind.

missing august horoscopes
weird...i just tried to get the august horoscopes from planet waves, but they aren't posted yet. i read them in the chronogram (a local free monthly magazine), and they were so good!!! i wish i post them, but i don't have them with me. mine was pretty much exactly a mirror of my life right now. i really flipped out when i read the scorpio and sagittarius ones. two of my best friends, marie and diego, are scorpio and sagittarius respectively, and theirs were so riddiculously their lives right now. i'll post them as soon as i get home this afternoon.

the county fair has come to town... tonight will be my first time ever going to a fair. i'll update everyone after tonight...