Hmmmm... Feeling down these few days. Beginning to hate my life. Feels horrible... Itz lyke: No more happy Teresa!!! And rite now i juz feel lyke making my life as miserable as possible. i juz cant see myself smiling anymore, or laughing anymore... Maybe if i really do, it might be just a mask. Horrible... *sobs* And i can tell you many reasons why i hate myself!!!

1. I shrunk by 1 cm!!! And gained lyke 2kg??? Which makes me 120% Off to TAF i go!!! Horrible!!!

2. I feel lyke a retard. I take such a long time to absorb information given by anyone... Which makes me read the notes on my Band scores slower. And that sissy thinks i cant play my instrument.

3. I feel dispised by lyke everybody. I dunno why. I guess i juz dont have self-confidence cos i'm F-A-T

4. I'm so confused abt matters concerning Band. Itz lyke i really don't get wad's happening in Band.

5. I have to go for TAF and morning run. The things i dread the most in sch. And i'll be losing my freedom during recess!!! You have no idea how much i hate not having time for my own during recess...with my friends. Itz lyke always lyke this, since the day i was born. Jinxed with no good recess times for long.

6. I have a backache which juz wont heal. I think i am gonna be crippled soon. Which is kinda good since i hate TAF and morning run. And which doesn't really matter anymore cos I hate my life.

7. I get easily irritated by my aunt these few days. I don't lyke the feeling. I hate being irritated.

Can't really think of anything more for the moment. Just feel too depressed to think.

W.i.l.b.e.r 5/1, Monday O.b.e.s.s.i.o.n

Hmmmmm... Cried again today. Today i sat in the bathtub. Was crying lyke worse than ever. Prayed to God to send me a Guardian Angel cos i feel so lonely and i need help. Guess he answered my prayer. Cos Rach had consoled me by sms. Which means she's the Guardian Angel God had sent! WOW!!! So wad Ms Tan said abt everybody being Angels was true! Awww... And i cried because of stupid sissified transvestite... He talked to me one to one today during band. He asked me why i skipped so many Band practices during the hols. I told him that's cos i got a backache and sitting in the band room for such a long time makes it hurt even more. Then he was lyke : Then are you gonna change CCAs??? Lyke he was wishing that i'd quit!!! And he also said that i am the only sec two who cant play her instrument well. He also said that he'll give me 1 month. I'll have to attend Band on Mon, Fri and Sat. And if i miss any Band practices, out of Band i go. Hez SO mean!!! STUPID SISSIFIED TRANSVESTITE BITCH!!! NO WONDER SHE CANT FIND A HUSBAND MAN!!! Anyway, gonna sign up for ODAC next Sat. Hope i get in, then can be with Krys!!! My best friend...*huggies* I wish that sissy will juz mind his own business... Aaaaaaaaa!!! I really hafta scream and shout to appease myself!!!

CHAN! You're such a stupid slutty bitch!!! You have PMS everyday!!! And that's wad makes you a R-E-A-L woman!!! I know you'll have PMS everyday cos therez no way you can ever have menses!!! Maybe you shuld juz go for a sex transplant and get ur uterus frm an old woman!!! An old wrinkled up uterus!!! Anyway, you're most probably an impotent pathetic useless monkey! And maybe you'll get a husband real soon after the operation cause you sure am a feminine woman!!! ooooooh!!! All those really "feminine" hand gestures... They suit you ya know!!! Suit you, this small...sissified wimp!!! And after your husband's made love to you i hope he finds your old photo and get totally freaked out then D-I-T-C-H you!!!

Phew... Feeling better now. haha...

W.i.l.b.e.r 3/1, Saturday O.b.s.e.s.s.i.o.n

I have no idea wad's the problem with me...seriously...itz creepy... I lurve crying. I dunno why. I've been crying many times a week. Lyke heavy crying??? Where after i cry my eyes will swell up and be red... Where i'll feel faint after crying, lyke i am right now...or am i juz tired...? Have no idea... Today, i've been crying cause i seriously think i am going crazy...being scared of my aunt suddenly and trying to get away from home... I mean, wad's the problem with me...??? Am i turning into a bad child??? I just had this thought in my mind: I am going crazy...all alone by myself. It all juz feels as if i'm alone by myself...being in the toilet, hugging my bolster, crying my heart out...trying not to make too much sobbing noise, for fear i might wake my grandma up... Well...at least i feel better this way...or am i bottling up my feelings??? Hmmmm... Who cares.

W.i.l.b.e.r 2/1, Friday O.b.s.e.s.s.i.o.n

Went to the doctor's ytd... Hez such a fake!!! He pushed down on my hips REALLY hard, and asked whether it was painful or not!!! Lyke how fake can he get!!! Try getting somebody to push down on ur hips, see whether pain or not lar! Anyway, went there with my grandmother cos her knee hurts, such that she cant bend down too much. Poor her... And the doc said if the new medicine he gave to her still doesn't work, she'd have to go to the hospital for X-ray and maybe operation... Haiz... I hope she'll get better... NO OPERATIONS for her!!!

And i went there becos of the same backache that stopped me frm taking the PFT. I wonder how it came back...! Hurting sooo much that i cant run sumtimes... And the doc said that if the medicine prescribed doesn't stop the backache, i'll have to have an X-ray taken... It's really made me wonder, does he actually say that to all his patients??? Stupid doc...

And the medicine he gave me were lyke the same another doc gave me... One of the medicine was sooooo bitter i seriously couldn't put it into my mouth... And it dissolves soooooo fast!!! Ytd i tried to swallow it and it was a big mistake!!! It dissolved so darn fast it got stuck near my throat and i couldn't get it out!!! Soooooo bitter!!! I was choking on it!!! I was lyke on the verge of vomitting! You shuld see my face!!! I had to eat a piece of mentos to remove that taste man!!! Even after eating mentos the taste was still there... Swallowed soooo much water i felt bloated up! And now whenever i look at that packet of medicine i'd feel the taste in my mouth then feel disgusted! You shuld really taste it!!! And i swear i'll neva ever take that medicine!!! (That medicine's to make my muscles relax)

At night, went to Causeway Point to watch Under the Tuscan Sun with my aunt and sista. Before the movie i went to Hallmark yo get X'mas prezzies for Krys and Rach. Bought Rach a keyboard cushion and Krys a shopaholic's journal. Cost me soooooo much k!!! $21.80!!! For juz two items! But i dunno why my heart ain't aching... Well, who ask them to be my best friends...

W.i.l.b.e.r 30/12, Wednesday O.b.s.e.s.s.i.o.n

Rach thinks the previous entry's too short... How on Earth can anybody satisfy her man... Haha... Er... This morning planned on doing my homework the whole day, but in the end i juz ended on the computer chair in front of the com typing this entry. Guess i have no discipline... Anyway, i woke up this morning at abt 11+ and stayed in bed reading U zhou kan, a chinese mag, cos the front page's Vanness and he looks sooooo cute and handsome!!! haha... And flipped thu it...after that i read a book on Ghosts. Kinda interesting ya know... Itz all true stories... Maybe i shuld type one of the stories in here... After eating and reading somemore i slept again at abt 1+ and woke up only at abt 3+... I am a pig i guess... *OINK!* When i woke up i watched Love Storm with my sista. Watched lyke 3 episodes. Itz a really nice show. You guys shuld watch it. Vivian's soooooooo cute!!! Not to mention pretty...!

The Next Victim

Arthur Frewen was lost. The 20 year old student was on holiday on the south east coast of Ireland. He was staying with friends in Dungarvan, in County Waterford. He had been for a walk, but he couldn't find his way back. And now it was getting dark.

Arthur stopped and looked around. He was walking along a path near the sea and he didn't know whether it was taking him nearer the town or further away. But it was quite cold now, and even going in the wrong direction was better than standing still.

Arthur wrapped his red scarf around his neck and moved on. Soon, it was dark, but he could just see his way by the moonlight. Then, he came around the side of some rocks, and saw a light ahead.

As he came closer, he saw that the light came from a fishing boat. There was somebody on deck. Arthur walked towards him, and soon saw that this was quite an old man. He was mending a fishing net. Arthur explained that he was lost, and the man invited him to come onto the boat.

"Are you hungry?"

Arthur said that he was. He followed the fisherman down into the boat's kitchen. There was a pot of hot soup on the cooker, with steam rising from it.

Arthur watched as the old man filled a bowl, then sat down and began to eat

The man said nothing, but stood and watched him steadily. This made Arthur feel uncomfortable, and he ate the soup as quickly as possible.

"Come this way," the man said, as soon as Arthur finished. He led the way to a small cabin. Arthur said thank you and watched as the man moved back to the kitchen. Then he closed the door firmly and hung his scarf on the back of it. He looked around. There was one small window, but no pictures or anything else on the walls. He climbed into the bed and closed his eyes. He was tired, but each time he fell asleep, he woke up suddenly because he could hear the man sharpening a knife.

Just after midnight, Arthur woke again. This time, he heard footsteps coming towards his door. He got out of the bed and looked though the keyhole. There, walking towards him, was the old man. In his hand, he held a large knife. Arthur turned and pushed the window open. The handle of the cabin door was beginning to turn, but he managed to pull himself through the window.

Arthur hid for the rest of the night. He found his way back to Dungarvan early the next morning.

Arthur told his friends what had happened, and they decided to go back to the boat together. But, when they got to the beach, there was only an old boat with many holes in its sides.

"Perhaps you met the Dungarvan murderer," one of his friends said, laughing. "This is supposed to be his boat. He invited people onto it, then killed them with a big knife. The police caught him in the end."

"So he escaped from prison..." Arthur said. "We should call the police."

"It's too late for that," his friend said "They hanged him in Dungarvan more than 70 years ago. The last person he killed was a student, just like you."

Arthur felt his hands turning cold, and he began to shake a little. None of this made sense. He pushed his way through a hole in the boat's side. The wood was wet and turning green and he had to cover his nose to keep out the smell. But it looked like the same boat, and he even found a cabin like the one he had slept in. He spoke to one of his friends through a hole in the wall.

"It looks very similar," he said, "only older."

"Don't be silly," his friend said. "Fishing boats are all much the same. Maybe it came from the same builder. You had a bad dream, that's all."

"Yes," Arthur said. "You're probably right."

He turned to leave, and stopped dead, his eyes widening. His red scarf was hanging on the back of the cabin door.

W.i.l.b.e.r 29/12, Monday O.b.s.e.s.s.i.o.n

Back frm the chalet!!! Haha... It was fun!!! So did ya' guys miss me...??? Hehe... Anyway, the chalet's at Safra Resort Club, and itz juz next to Changi Beach!!! Everyday i've been going to the beach with my couzs, and i've been picking seashells for u, Krys, and my couzs' been searching for hermit crabs, fishes and crabs. They managed to catch a few crabs and lotsa hermit crabs and a fish!!! hahaha... Been playing at the beach under the sun everyday...without sunblock, so i kinda look lyke a red indian now. Haha... Took a few pics of the break of dawn. Itz beautiful...Took a pic of the beach and the clouds and blah blah blah... lol.

You know itz really fun to live together with ur whole family...??? Really it is!!! With so many kids to talk and play with, and many diff kinds of food, cooked by diff aunts... And the uncles will barbeque food for u the whole night... And at night we'll huddle together...itz perfect!!! Maybe when i grow up and have enuff money, i'll buy a big bungalow by the sea and invite the whole family to stay together!!! Itz soooo exciting!!! I better study hard!!! Lol...Am i drifting further away frm reality...???

Therez sooo much to talk abt abt the time spent at the chalet!!! But i cant really be bothered to type all out ya know... Lazy... Hehe... Maybe next year when i go there again, i shall invite a few of my friends along!!! Lets become red indians together!!! haha... But aint really sure whether going there again next yr or not... Hopefully i am!!!

PS: Rach, this's a long entry rite...??? Long enuff to keep u occupied for awhile rite...??? Haha...

W.i.l.b.e.r 28/12, Sunday O.b.s.e.s.s.i.o.n

Been feeling a lil' lazy these few days to update... Hehe... Anyway, my new phone is really cool!!! U can record songs and set them as ur ringtone!!! I bet only this phone can do that! Haha... I lurve my phone!!!

Anyway, gonna go to a chalet tml. My phone'll be with me so if therez anything u ppl can gimme a call k??? Haha... Kinda exciting, the chalet... Especially the food and all my couz's goin' to be there... I know i'll have fun. *beams* I shall worry abt my homework when i come back. Haha... STUPID HOMEWORK... Boooooooooooooooo!!! *jeers*

W.i.l.b.e.r 23/12, Tuesday O.b.s.e.s.s.i.o.n

i feel sooooo cold...! I have cold hands and feet... And the cold's spreading to all parts of my body...!!! Am i getting really old or wad...? Cos i have a backache too... Or is my life juz slowly fading away...??? And my body temp's only 36.6.... I feel horrible... Cold... Have i caught a new disease???

Btw, today's Michelle Nah's birthday!!! Shez turning 13!!! Oppsie... I forgot a woman's age's a secret... hehe... ^-^"

W.i.l.b.e.r 20/12, Saturday O.s.e.s.s.i.o.n

This morning my aunt came back frm Dubai(business trip) and she had bought for me the kind of sandals i wanted!!! haha...Teva brand... I seriously didn't know this brand of sandals are the best...she said it was anyway... :S She said it costs $20+...after the discount she gets... Kinda ex huh? And she also got me a Billabong wallet!!! Kinda nice leh! Anyway, went to Orchard with Mich, Krys and QiYi to celebrate Mich's b'day. It wasn't very fun... Was pissed with somebody in the end...somehow... Argh... Oh yar! I bought Universal Love at HMV today!!! Universal Love's sung by WILBER PAN, Evonne hsu and Energy. Haha... Why'd you think i bought it??? Therez Wilber it it!!! Probably the best thing that happened to me today. haha... But i guess the worst thing is dropping my phone on the floor again!!! As if there isn't enough scratches on it ya know...

Thursday, 18/12

Went to sch today to settle the Ye@h! Competition thingie, after that went to Orchard with Krys to watch Brother Bear. I lurve the songs!!! And the movie's really meaningful... I think everybody should watch it!!! After that went to shop for some ppl's X'mas prezzies. I think i spent alot today... urgh... I hate shopping i tell you... I am sooooooooo anti-shopping!!! but i have no idea how i pulled through today - shopping. After shopping with Krys i carried those stuffs we bought home... I went home to freshen up, then met Rachel at far East Plaza. Gonna go watch Lord of the Rings - Return of the King together. My aunt gave me 2 free tix mah... HSBC give wan. The movie was fabulous!!! I didn't know it was soooooo nice!!! Cos when i watched the first movie i was scared of those dark figures...

Haha... Throughout the movie i was lyke, "I lurve Gandolf's hair!!! Lyke rebonded wan!!!", "Gandolf's so cool!!!" and "I lurve Gandolf's horse!!! The mane and tail lyke rebonded wan!!! So nice!!!". And lyke 1/4 through the movie i felt soooo cold!!! And i could even feel myself freezing to death!!! Haha... My fingers went numb, while Rach's toes went numb... I was kinda scared i might have frostbite... haha... Was checking whether they'd turned black after the movie...Hahaha... Had fun. *beams*

W.i.l.b.e.r 19/12, Friday O.b.s.e.s.s.i.o.n

I had a dream... Itz was sad...??? I dreamt that i went to Thailand and i met with an accident then i became blind... Went to the doc's and he couldn't cure me... The second time i went to him again he couldn't cure me either...then i started crying... And when my mother asked me why i was crying i said i cried because i couldn't see her anymore and that i missed seeing her.
I lurved her loads... And the whole dream was sooo real that i thought i was really blind when i woke up... I even checked to see whether i was really blind or not... It was reeeeeally creepy!!! And then the whole dream seemed so sad, so touching, somehow i started crying on the bed!!! I mean... This is the first time i cried becos of a dream man... It was weird... Will i really become blind one day???

And guess wad??? I asked my dad for Nokia 3200 today and at nite, when i woke up frm my evening nap, hez back with the phone!!! So now i have a Nokia 3200!!! It simply rawkz!!! Sooooo nice! The games too!!! And u can make ur own cover!!! I lurve my phone!!! This seriously juz feels lyke a gd dream. Hahaha...

W.i.l.b.e.r 17/12, Wednesday O.b.s.e.s.s.i.o.n

Hey... I saw channel 51 (MTV) advertising for Nokia 3200 and i went to surf the web for it and i seriously want to own the blue coloured Nokia 3200!!! It comes in 3 colours, red, blue and green. I lurve the blue one!!! I want it! I want it!!! It has a built in camera and u can DESIGN YOUR OWN COVER!!! I'm gonna design a Wilber one!!! haha... My own unique phone design!!! Awwww.... Maybe i should ask my dad for it... Hehe...

And one of Wilber's old pics remind me of someone i know... Buti dunno who... Itz juz that, that pic of Wilber looks lyke that "someone"i know... Urgh...

Oh yar, Wilber said this about his album, wo de mai ke feng: "The microphone is like a metaphor for opportunity and people did take my microphone away. But I didn't give up and I kept on". So now do you ppl get the meaning behind his song, wo de mai ke feng??? I hope you do...

W.i.l.b.e.r 15/12, Monday O.b.s.e.s.s.i.o.n

Haha... Am in the middle of constructing my blog. Changing the Wilber pic... And guess wad?! I got Bryan's pic scanned in already!!! It shows him bathing in the sink at my house. Haha... Soooooooooooooo CUTE!!! Hehe... These few days are kinda boring... But i have loads of things to do!!! I have to go to Popular to get my school books cos i havent bought them yet, and i have to get Christmas cards!!! And Christmas gifts!!! And most of all i have to do my HOMEWORK!!! Hahaha... Haiz... Havent done a single piece of my sch homework... Am sooooo dead! Btw, Wang Lee Hom's gonna be at Junction 8 today!!! Aaaaaaaaa!!! But i havent gotten my Wang Lee Hom CD frm my aunt yet... Wont get it till Christmas day... Haiz... So wont be going to see him nor get the signature! Maybe next time... Later...

W.i.l.b.e.r 14/12, Sunday O.b.s.e.s.s.i.o.n