I think i'm PMS-struck for life... That's sad. I realised i am kinda sensitive, lyke very extremely sensitive...too sensitive... Just ONE single person breaking my heart makes me sad...depressed...for quite a long time. I cant help it, and i'm sorry. Doubt anybody reads this blog anyway. Why do you think i put so much confidential stuffs in here. I feel horrible, and i think i'm going to cry soon. Breaking down so early in life isn't wad i had expected. I had expected me to be happy. No worries, no nothin. But it just seems lyke i get upset over NOTHING. That's wad it might seem to EVERYBODY, except me. I feel so confused i really wish somebody will just make the decisions for me. I dont care who. Itz just MY life. It seems kinda worthless to me. Ouch... I feel pain. I really wonder whether cutting urself will make you feel happy...excited... Stuffs i don't feel now... Oh well...

W.i.l.b.e.r 20/1, Tuesday O.b.s.e.s.s.i.o.n

Went to lunch with Qiyi, Mich, Rach and Lucille after Band today at Novena Square. Joshua Ang was there, Megan too. So many teenage gurls were using their phones to take pics of him. Hahahaha... He THAT handsome meh...? I have no idea... Wasnt wearing my glasses. Haha... Anyway, i freaked out when he spoke into the mic. I always tense up whenever i hear deep voices... Urgh. Hurried into Hallmark to look arnd. When i left Hallmark Joshua was rapping lor... He aint good at it. Seriously. It was all muffled.

Watched The Rose at night. Frm 7 - 10. I'm in lurve with that show!!! I wanna be the girl!!! Shez lucky! Got two extremely loving bros looking after her, protecting her!!! Aaaaaaaa!!! You all shuld really watch it! I wanna get the VCDs. But itz expensive... $80+ in all... *sigh*

Oh yar... Just now i was trying to remove a needle frm the paper i stuck it in and i was pushing the sharp point with my finger, trying to push it out. The needle went into my finger lor... I forgot that thing can pierce! So pain i tell ya! OUCH! The pain reminded me of Jesus, who was nailed to the cross. Can you imagine how painful it was to have a nail stuck THROUGH your hand?! Aaaaaaaaaa!!! Itz starting to get gross... Bye!!!

W.i.l.b.e.r 17/1 Saturday O.b.s.e.s.s.i.o.n

My grandma said my aunt told her she thinks i'm in bad company. Which is so totally untrue. Lyke 100% wrong. Cos i keep going out with them and going to Krys's hse...??? And shez the one who used to complain i keep cooping myself at home lor. Oh well... Have so much homework these few days...plus Band...3 times a week. So stressful. And i can't finish my homework!!! Sometimes, that is. But i wanna study hard this year!!! I'll try, step by step. And seeing Rach and Lucille and Tarcia suddenly so hardworking makes me panick... I dunno why. Maybe cos they're lyke suddenly soooo hardworking! Itz freaky!

Went to Orchard to watch Mona Lisa Smile today with Rach, Lucille and Krys. Fine, i seriously think my brain's slow...in other words retarded, cos i seem to process stuffs through my head so slowly i didn't really get the movie!!! That's why i didn't find it nice at all, when Krys and Rach and Lucille said it was a really nice show. Oh well... After the movie walked around. Went to HMV to look at...CDs? Therez a clearance slae going on and there're CDs selling at 50 cents each!!! Lyke WOW!!! Hahaha... But they dont look as interesting as those chinese CDs. Heez. Wanna get Lee Hom's gai ban CD. Itz nice!!! Hez handsome! And charming!

W.i.l.b.e.r 16/1, Friday O.b.s.e.s.s.i.o.n

*sigh* Didn't come online for sooooo many days liao!!! Lyke 3 days!!! And my aunt doesn't know that! She restricted my computer time alrdy!!! To lyke 1 hr??? Then have to slp at 10pm!!! Kinda crazy but well... I'm really too tired to care... Been real busy with homework and Band these few days... Band's taking lyke soooooo much of my time!!! So much that i can hardly get enough slp cos i've got homework you know!!! Urgh! Thinking abt that sissy makes my blood boil... Later i get high blood pressure ar... Must come visit me in hospital ar... And i think i'm accumulating fats in my body!!! Is that supposed to be good cos when therez a shortage of oil i could use my body's.....??? *laughs out loud* I'm getting ridiculous...

Anyway, went to Krys's hse after sch today to distribute the left-overs frm the YE@H! Competition. After distributing we watched Scary Movie 3. It was really nice and funny! And i realised i do my homework well in Krys's hse! I mean i can concentrate well copying Rachel's homework... Hehe...

W.i.l.b.e.r 13/1, Tuesday O.b.s.e.s.s.i.o.n

Are my words really THAT difficult to understand??? It really pisses me off when somebody asks me "huh?" after i finished saying a loooong line of words. Then when i repeated it, that damned person asks me to repeat it again!!! JUST LYKE MY STUPID SISTA!!! Argh!!! And i seriously really dislike it when people ignore me when i'm talking to them. Itz soooooooooooooooo irritating!!! IT IRKS ME!!! And a certain somebody did it so many times!!! Feel lyke slapping her. Urgh! Darn it! And... Itz soooooooooo mean of the person to speak or talk to me only when she wants to ask me sth or ask for a favour!!! Argh...! Will get really pissed off...and harbour the thought of severing ties with her!!! I seriously must try and rid my world of such ppl you know... Or else i'll always feel so left out!!! Darn!

And WHY do ppl NOT understand my feelings??? I feel lyke such a freak!!! When i'm just daydreaming away, ppl really truly ask me why i'm soooooo moody!!! And when i really AM moody they treat me as if i ain't moody! Argh...! When i'm sad, they don't notice it too! Lyke ARGH!!! When i'm angry, they think i'm sad. Therez a difference you know. I'm so sick and tired of ppl ignoring and misinterpreting my feelings! Seriously, NOBODY understands me. And sometimes, when i wanna share my troubles with someone, they'll ignore me!!! And they complain that i keep bottling up my feelings!!! itz not my fault you ppl ignore me you know! So stop acting lyke itz mine. My burden's heavy enough!

W.i.l.b.e.r 9/1, Friday O.b.s.e.s.s.i.o.n

Hey... Am feeling much much better alrdy. Sort of sorted stuffs out... But thinking of TAF and morning run irks me... Haiz... Anyway, Lucille gave me Lavender incense sticks!!! I lurve them!!! The smell's wonderful!!! Lyke nice!!! I lurve Lavenders!!! And i sort of set some goals for myself. Hehe...

When i grow up, i wanna go to some cold country...and stand on a short hilltop, looking down on the wind-rippled Lavender field with my lurved one...with the wind blowing on our faces...bringing along the Lavender scent... It'll be so cool! Surrounded by Lavenders!!! Heaven!!! I really dont understand why they ain't one of the seven wonders of the world... I also wanna stand in the middle of the field... It'll feel really great...i guess. Can't you picture it in ur mind??? *sigh* And i also wanna paint my future hse Lavender! Order Lavender frm Aus of sth, place them in vases in all my rooms! Buy Lavender incense and burn them everyday!!! And for my bed i want Lavender bedsheets and pillow covers and...EVERYTHING!!! Haha... I want my whole hse to be Lavender coloured!!! So exciting! Haha... I'm getting carried away... Better stop here liao...

W.i.l.b.e.r 6/1, Tuesday O.b.s.e.s.s.i.o.n