Come out come out wherever you are
Monday, March 11, 2002 - 10:24 a.m.

perhaps tomorrow, or perhaps a few days after that, my site is going to go down. It's complicated, and stupid. But anyway, here's what it means to anybody who actually ever looks at both the site, and this blog (besides me, dammit):

The site will be dead. Gone until I say it can come back, at which point, it will be different, and on another server.

The bl0g will be ugly and dead. All the pictures you see prettifying the place are hosted at the same place as my site. I feel this is a good opportunity to get off my ass a little more often and perhaps feel less guilty about not having a job. (Because you see, if I don't have anything else to occupy my time, then I know I've really truely tried as hard as I can.)

The boards will remain, only because, well, they're hard to take down. And they never, ever, get any traffic aside from me going to the Tower, or the Spectre, or some such.

So that's that. If you really think this is a huge, unnecessary, fat mistake, well, why not finally use my freaking boards, eh? That's what I made the bastards for, for feed back. But anyway, this will likely be my last post on this thing.

Salaam, Ciao, Sayonara, been nice talking at you, peace yo,
Georgene

heh

I was meant to be a member of Luna Sea! I'm not into shocking people with my music, because that's what the band is all about -- music. I can't seem to make up my mind about whether to stay with the band or go solo, however.

Take the "Which J-Rock Band Should You Be a Member Of?" quiz by malloreigh

whaaaaa!
Saturday, March 9, 2002 - 05:12 p.m.

A little cheese to go with that whine, perhaps?

ATT, formerly Mediaone, is finally getting around to changing all their shit. What this means, is that all my pretty archived bl0gs are going to look like picture-less shit. Soon. Oh yeah, and my page is going down, too.

And I am one cranky, sullen, mean, mean person. And how anybody can stand to talk to me when I'm like this is beyond me. Perhaps if I just keep apologizing, it might help. However, in the meantime, I am a highly devalued human being. A jobless, hopeless, greedy little snot of a girl, who needs to grow up here real soon.

I want to be useful again. I want to be worth something to myself again. I want to stop being so self-centered and bitch-like, because it's hindering my ability to appreciate the people that matter most. I want to not cry again, ever. I don't care who thinks it's "okay". It's not "okay" for me, okay?

I want to believe I'm admired for something worth being admired for. To not be so half-assed about things. To have pride in what I do for more than a moment. I think maybe the key to that last is just keeping that pride to myself. Or it might just be better not to be prideful at all. Might as well be axiomatic and inject the classic: "pride goeth before a fall."

I've fallen and I can't get up,
Ji The Unstable

Take Your Precious Time, Whydoncha?
Thursday, March 7, 2002 - 09:13 p.m.

Well, it was either this, play video games, or meddle in others' affairs. I thought this was the most winning thing. Yeah, whatever.

So, what's new with me. I spent 3 weeks in Joisey. That was fun. ^_^* I got jacked around by a potential employer, that was not. -_-;

I saw Metropolis, which is one of the best movies I've seen to date. Memento was highly memorable also.

I really want chocolate. Really good chocolate.

This is a very sad little entry.

*thpbt!!!*
G.

ahmahgahd, whaddafuck
Friday, February 1, 2002 - 06:01 p.m.

No, that's not my arabian alias for when I go undercover in the middle east to bust some heads. It's what I said, a lot, on the drive home.

Incident # 1: Picture this. I'm on this rather middling back road, not too well plowed, but passable. I see two cars parked slightly staggered on either side of the road, making the passage sort of narrow. I think to myself "huh?" Then I see headlights down off to one side. It dawns on me that they're trying to push a car back onto the road. I creep past, wanting to get on my way, without making a disturbance. I see this car pushed back onto the road, pause for two seconds, then follow quickly behind me.

I turned - mostly because I had to - onto another road. This car follows. I'm going about 30, a little faster than I probably should. It's no-passing all up and down this road. Anyone who has been on it more than once knows that. This.... supreme asshole, who I am ~quite~ sure did ~not~ thank the guy who pushed him out of a pretty bad ditch, flies around me, and is over a hill in about 30 seconds. I curse until I'm almost out of breath, knowing full well that he can't hear me. That was just sad. Bad driving probably put the guy in the ditch, someone -no, two people- are nice enough to ~stop~ for the guy, and he just goes barreling around like some stupid fuck. Oi. Best of luck to you, pal, you'll need it.

Incident # 2: Further on. I'm stopped at a sign going to make a left onto a relatively populous road. All clear on my left side, so I scope out the right, a few cars coming, but they're far enough back that I can get going. I pull out. I fish tail for a few seconds, because it's a tough turn, and it's still slushy and icy. This... asspuppet pulls up behind me, slows down, so I'm thinking 'thank you for being smart'.

Bzzzzzzzzt. Wrong. Every few seconds, until I turned off onto another road, the pigfucker flashed his brights at me!! Not quick, but sustained, to piss me off. Once, is an accident. Twice, ok. Eight times... fuck you, fuckwad. It's dangerous enough, and this guy has to impede my vision? Yeah, fuck you too. It's Friday, shouldn't you be a little happier? A little nicer to your fellow (wo)man? Is your life that empty that you have to screw around with my safty just because I did not move fucking fast enough for you? Yeah. Fuck you, and the horse you road in on, pig fucking ass monkey.

I feel so much better now. The rest of the day was fine, but that was some scary, moronic shit, and it worries me that people are so inconsiderate. Especially in hazardous weather like it's been the last two days. I would have taken I-95, but all 4 lanes were packed bumper-to-bumper, I imagine up to the toll booths. I saw Rt-101, because a road I take passes over it, and it was fine. So it was just 95 that was scary. Just northbound, too. Yikes. I actually had to back out of the turn lane, to avoid ending up on that three ring circus.

Oh by the way. I quit my job. I leave on Tuesday. And, ah, yeah, I don't have anything else lined up yet. The general consensus is that I should try to sneak into college. I'd love to, I just hope that I can get my shit together enough to do that. and yeah. Stuff.

Uhm, stuff?
G-money

whoop-dee-doo

Which drink are you?

The Best You Can Is Good Enough
Friday, January 18, 2002 - 10:00 a.m.

Hello bl0ggy-w0ggy (and people that read you). Been a while, hasn't it? Kudos (mmm... chocolate) to Justin for the song stuck in my head that gives rise to this title.

Life.

• Is busy.
• Is full.
• Is non-stop.
• Makes no excuses.
• Is your best friend.
• Is your worst enemy.
• Is the beginning...
• and the end.

I miss my bunny lots. But today appears to be a good day despite that fact. Breakfast can really make or break a morning, can't it? (Little chockit do-nuts! Little chockit do-nuts!)

Lemme give you a quick narrative run down of all this time I haven't written, hmm?
I spent the better part of 3 weeks with my beloved bunny. From the day after Christmas, to this last Tuesday. It was lovely. Life was more manageable, more bearable, more fun with him around. We saw Lord of the Rings, and Vanilla Sky together. I got little to no reading done. I got a similar amount of work done. I didn't mind much. My world flopped upside down. I didn't mind much then. I drove bunny back home on Monday, and left there on Tuesday. I mind now. Half my department left in what is now regarded as a coup, and a rather dirty act. I supported them, but have remained behind, because rather than switch jobs, then switch again, I opted to just try to find other employment from here. Working here is a conflict of intrest on many levels. One of those levels being I have little interest in working here any longer. The air feels different, and all the people who gave a crap, and realized I was capable, and amounted to something have pretty much left in that "coup". I have submitted one job application thus far. I need to compile a resume, and see if I can't increase that number a bit. I was highly tempted to submit my notice yesterday. And the day before that. They've changed several of the locks.

In conclusion, boo to stuff that sucks, yay to stuff that is the opposite of suck.

Nanu, nanu,
G-style

feed me seymour!
Give us, this day, our daily bagel on: Thursday, January 3, 2002; at: 09:07 a.m.

Ooga booga.

My boyfriend hates my job more than I do. I don't exactly hate my job, though. I just dislike getting up ass early on a daily basis, and floating through the day, thinking too much about an overly political situation, trying to remember if I indeed have all my aquatic fowl in alignment. Whatever the case, I'm going to blow this pop stand soon enough.

True to form, I don't have any backup plans in place, or anything. In case it hadn't become abundantly clear: G + responsibility = mistake. Well, that's life. I'm so trustworthy, so reliable, so clever, so efficient, so needed. Yeah, right. I wish the people that thought that would give me some of the drugs they're on, 'cause they sure do seem good. I do what I do, and occasionally I don't screw up. And that friends, is a beautiful thing.

I want to go shopping. I want to work on my web site. I need to finish my new years cards before it's next year. I really really need to balance my checkbook. (ha) I have at least 1 check to fill out, to the gas company. I hope I don't forget the important stuff later.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled m00fness already in progress,
~Ji-sama

the middle of the song
we laugh about the ways we'll combat the coming silence, but it sounds strained. tension shows by the way the corners of your eyes get tight. What was will never again be. what is was clearly not meant for me. i will pack my things and walk away, and that is all that i will say.

Warm Bodies I Say....
Friday, December 28, 2001 - 09:04 a.m.

Oi. That's the word of the day: oi. Can I scream now? Can I just freak out now, and get it out of my system? I don't know what I was expecting to go down, exactly, but this was not it.

Why don't I just submit my notice, and go a little less insane? I mean, I already know the honesty levels I'll be left to work with around here. I have such an overwhelming suspicion that I'm being used. I'm a talented, hardworking, presentable individual, I could get another job.

Or here's a brain flash, why not actually attempt to get into college?! Gasp! No, no, is too much sense! ...but I must. 0.o Uhm, yeah.

All I know is I'm going stir crazy, because I'm thinking too much, and clearly over-estimating my part in this. Of course, it could be problematic if the people who want me to stay are also over-estimating my worth, and will try something stupid that will damn near kill me with work as a result. Even my workaholic boss can be quoted as saying "you don't live to work, you work to live". They way things are looking... I'll be on 6 days a week, at upwards of 10 hours a day, trying to do stuff I am learning/have learned on the fly, and taking shit for making mistakes. Oi. Oi oi oi.

Someone please tell me why I didn't go begging to be part of this new company? At least I would have been working for reasonable people, and would be able to leave to make my fortune without a mountain of shit being heaped on me first. Basically, what it amounts to, is I didn't look at all angles, and judge wisely, and am now paying for it by being faced with the prospect of more work than I am actually willing to do for the company that will remain here.

oi.
~Ji-sama

Kimi o kimi o shinjiteru
Wednesday, December 26, 2001 - 08:35 a.m.

Damn. You'd think I'd dream about final fantasy, or saturn, or my bunny, or something logical. But no.

I dreamt about that weird ball game whose name I can't spell from Harry Potter, and being in a hotel room, fuzting with the heater, and then watching a video staring some guy in a goofy suit who was clearly hitting on the two women he was demonstrating how to wrap something, or... something like that. And in between those two, it was a strange dream about train tracks, and it was very gloomy, and there were some people who were very sytlistically like characters from Vampire Hunter D.

Some of that makes a little sense, but the composition might lead one to question my sanity more than usual.

Is everyone (please, anyone?) enjoying the new layout? Isn't Yoshitaka Amano-san a god? Doesn't Final Fantasy 4 (2 in the states.) rock your socks? It rocks mine. Rydia = my hero.

And now, back to your regularly scheduled drudgery,
~Ji-sama

Just a Phase
Tuesday, December 25, 2001 - 07:39 p.m.

This turned into quite a project indeed! I wanted to make it cover some of my favorite characters from a few in the FF series, but I had a devil of a time just finding what I did. I hope everyone else likes how this turned out as much as I do. ^_^* It's definately my busiest layout ever. My half-sincere apologies to those running 800x600, it probably won't look right to you.

Well, Christmas is here, and almost done. 'cept for me. ^_^; I still have a million cards and a half a dozen presents to do. However, I'm a smart cookie, 'cause my cards say "happy new year" on them! Ha HA! Suick it, Trebeck. Oh, maybe not that...

More later, I talk to boyfriend and then go to bed, or something. ^_^*

Warm fuzzy holiday wishes,
~Ji-sama