tadaima
Monday, December 29, 2003 - 09:58 p.m.

Matt: oh shit, I should eat something

Out of the mouths of babes.

XD Not that I haven't had the same revelation many times myself.

So here I am, back home. Alone. I guess I feel okay. I don't think anything has sunk in yet. I'm sort of cleaning a little, listening to the Mars Volta. I sorta wish Rachael would sign on so I could ask her something.

While I was at Rob's house, I got my hands on the Drew yearbook they sent him. I recognized a lot more people than I thought I would. I guess I do miss people more than I tend to let on, because I definately had a pang or two of nostalgia. And I swear to god, Dan must have just showed up for a ton of club pictures, because I find it wicked hard to believe he's in all those clubs. XD (I keed, I keed.) I wish I had half a clue when I'm going to see any of these people again. I tend to claim impartiality, or detatchment, or whatever, but I guess I do have a soft spot. You know, like the kind babies have on their heads. And kinda like the baby cranial soft spots, I don't want anybody pushing my emotional soft spots, for fear my wee head will cave in.

I really gotta clean more in here.

lists
Sunday, December 21, 2003 - 07:46 p.m.

To Do:

• Call temp agency
• gather together things to ship
• bake cookies
• box it all up
• send this shizz, before it's ridiculously late! (like most things I intend to send people)
• straighten up
• buy new office-y type clothes
• de-caffinate myself
• get in a cycle of eating or not eating (this in-between thing ain't cuttin' it.)
• try to establish valid reasons to carry on, other than "just because it's there."

Oh-ho, it is to laugh
Thursday, December 11, 2003 - 06:38 p.m.
Censorship ick.

Tuesday, December 9, 2003 - 01:12 p.m.
Be careful not to regret the past. Be a Sufi, don't talk of the past. You are the son of the moment, you are young, you have vanquished time. This short present moment must not be wasted. ~ Rumi http://www.khamush.com/ Be honest, who all doesn't want to be my friend anymore? I think I'm the only one raising my hand. It's peculiar, but I thank you anyway. This has to get better, it just has to. And whatever you do, don't feel sorry for me, because it only makes me worse. I have to learn how not to be an attention whore. Talking like this, for example, needs to probably stop. Not too sure what I'm going to write about instead, as I am generally disinclined to share the less critical details of my life/thoughts, but I guess I'll figure it out.

last thing, I swear
Tuesday, November 18, 2003 - 07:48 p.m.
A camera. :)

Continuation of greedmas list
Tuesday, November 18, 2003 - 05:12 p.m.

I've decided there's a few other things I need.

• A copy of the White Album, which I decided today I won't be able to continue living without.
• A trip to Tahiti (not really, I actually don't feel like travelling lately)
• band-related buttons (see album list on randomkitty for acceptable artists to button me with)
• comics-related gear, buttons, wrist bands, t-shirts, other doodads that seem neat
• unique, possibly garish nailpolish colors. Pastels also acceptable. No pink or red, please! (Unless it's Cadillac pink, or electric guitar red. Hee hee.)
• Sailor Moon keychains. But none of those cheap foam cut out type ones. I already have a figure keychain of Jupiter. I had one of Mars, but she broke. :_(
• Cards with notes that make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside are MORE than acceptable for those who are broke, cheap, or undecided. Afterall, you can't buy sincerity (please, no cynicism, I know how silly that is. XD)
• Burnt CDs of music you feel I simply must be exposed to. Yay for expansion!
• Something exotic, arabesque, or distinctly far eastern in nature.
• I like Sanford Uniball pens (in colors, whee!), bottles of all sorts (with or without booze), and weird knick-knacks.
• Stickers!!!! Preferably small-ish ones (for my phone) and big ones for my car. Anime and band-related obviously safe choices, but I like to be surprised, too. :P

I think that about does it. I mean, I may come up with other things, but this is a pretty sizable list to go from, yesh? I am le big puddle of greed. :P I do plan to go shopping for other people tomorrow. Also, the CDs I planned to send everybody ages ago will go out, along with macaroons (which were also promised ages ago), I think. They'll be macaroons from work, but they'll be DAMNED good. XD I need to come up with new cards this year. I might just... *gasp* design my own. Shocking, I know. We'll see what happens. I want to send out all my Christmas stuff as early as I can, because it's going to be so chaotic, with life and work, and such.

Word
G

preliminary christmas list
Sunday, November 16, 2003 - 08:32 p.m.

X-mas list

A stuffed chocobo
the Ego Tripping at the Gates of Hell EP
the DVD version of Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots
The Soft Bulletin (Yup, more Flaming Lips)
new throw pillows of the fuzzy variety
the 2004 Masamune Shirow calendar
the red robot on grey shirt from explodingdog.com
a print of Aaron Jasinski's
(http://www.deviantprints.com/~jasinski/) [probably the April calendar page, for the sake of birthday appropriateness]
This sticker (http://www.stickerjunkie.com/index.php?line1=www.randomkitty.net&line2=It+doesn%27t+get+any+more+exciting+than+this.&font=Allise&sizefont=30&submit=Generate+Message+Preview)
Amano tarot deck (http://www.tarotgarden.com/boutique/onlinecatalog.php?view_title=Amano+Tarot&pageenter=0)
Something from http://americanapparelstore.com/
A Yoshitoshi ABe artbook
this (http://www.animebooks.com/hresp.html) cute!

Yup, that's all for now. I sleepy.

weird dreams are made of these
Sunday, November 16, 2003 - 10:58 a.m.

Dreamt about the following:

• Aliens, one of which shot down robots with lasers from his sparkling white teeth.
• Driving really badly, and angrily. Running red lights, taking dangerous left turns, speeding in general, and being pissed off about something or other.
• Buildings, going into buildings like hotels, being in seedy areas, looking for someone(thing?), and having a feeling of becoming involved with a mafia of some sort.
• Looking across a street, swearing I saw someone.
• This whole scene with a man (who may or may not have been portrayed by Bruce Willis), and a woman with wavy blond hair in a bathroom with deep green tiles. They were being affectionate, but you could tell he was dangerously near violence, and you could tell she was terrified. I knew she wanted him (maybe even loved him?), and I knew she was worried he was going to kill her.
• Trick or treating in a really rich neighborhood (with the aliens, I think) in hats that were supposed to be pirate hats, but looked more like the kind of hood-type hats you see in pictures featuring terrorists these days. Someone wouldn't get out of the car for one house, but we brought them back a full size candy bar anyway. It might have been an O Henry.
• Sneaking around some richly appointed house. Wanting to use the record player, but not wanting to move anything, for fear of being caught. There were Beatles records on it. (More than one record, yeah.)
• There was a sensation of floating over a series of model-sized mansions, and coming across a red/pink tiled fountain that was definately unfinished or broken, and under the tile was plywood. I know because I reached underneath the main platform and knocked.

I think that's about it. Uhmm... yeah. Any budding Jung or Freud out there care to take a crack at it? Or any dream enthusiasts in general? Curiousness, no?

In other news, I've lost weight this last week or so. Yay and boo. I've been sort of unwell, and not been eating much. I suppose I should take advantage of this loss, though, and start maintaining myself and whatnot.

Nanu nanu,
G

poet, or scatterbrain, you be the judge
Friday, November 14, 2003 - 05:57 p.m.

All I want is...
Peace of mind
Pizza
To have clean everything
to repaint my toenails
to wake up
live
and go to bed happy
to know what's going on
To not spend so much time thinking that boys are stupid
to get through to JAnuary with my mind and heart in tact
is my bum to stop hurting.
to luv luv luv, and be luved in return. :P
to have someone random call my cell phone when I least expect it (and have signal :P)
to say spiffy keen, and mean it

That's about it for now, I guess.

yo yo yo
Monday, November 10, 2003 - 10:50 p.m.

Hey hos! :P I'm collecting phone numbers to fill up me new cell phone. Also, if anybody knows where to find stickers so I can decorate this mofo, lemme know.

Oh, and I updated my comic and album lists today, even though they're by now both out of date.

And I have a cuuuuute as hell plush Ein now. Yay! Puppy!

I wanna be sailor mars
Friday, November 7, 2003 - 01:17 p.m.

She's totally the coolest. Let us examine the facts: gets to play with fire, gets to be a priestess, has sharp wit and instincts, gets to wear red high heels without being a slut, has an April birthday, has the coolest long dark hair, ad astra. The list could really continue. I had a Sailor Mars key chain, but it broke and I got pissed one day and just threw it out. I was sort of hoping Rob was going to stop me, but it didn't happen. I still have Sailor Jupiter though. She's so awesome. If I had to put the soldiers in order of preference, it'd probably be like this:

• Saturn
• Mars
• Jupiter
• Mercury
• Uranus
• Pluto
• Neptune
• Venus
• Moon (with Chibi-Moon way, way, way down at the bottom)

Even though I just finished gushing about Mars, Saturn is still my favorite. I think she just has the most intense presence.

I dreamt about swimming in a freezing ocean to go get something or someone, and being worried about sharks, and watching a huge whale slide from a cave. I dreamt about swimming into a city, going over a waterfall to do so. The people were friendly, but smug about something. I dreamt about boats. What does it all mean? Strangeness abounds.

Friday, November 7, 2003 - 11:51 a.m.

Eureka!

passwordage achieved. I am so not backlogging all the LJ to here.

I guess I'm gonna start leaving my PC on. Or something. Anyway, I think you can start checking here first again. Or don't, I don't care. :P But I love me cute lil' pitas page.

The Marcy Playground album is so luverly.

And now, a musical interlude
Wednesday, October 1, 2003 - 11:06 a.m.
I’m so tired, I haven’t slept a wink,
I’m so tired, my mind is on the blink.
I wonder should I get up and fix myself a drink.
No, no, no.
I’m so tired I don’t know what to do.
I’m so tired my mind is set on you.
I wonder should I call you but I know what you’d do.
You’d say I’m putting you on.
But it’s no joke, it’s doing me harm.
You know I can’t sleep, I can’t stop my brain
You know it’s three weeks, I’m going insane.
You know I’d give you everything I’ve got
For a little peace of mind.
I’m so tired, I’m feeling so upset
Although I’m so tired I’ll have another cigarette
And curse Sir Walter Raleigh.
He was such a stupid git.

Did you know that during the month of September, my website's 1G traffic allotment went over by about 50%? And did you know, that having checked my hit counter, that doesn't seem right? Weird, huh? Still, it's almost enough to make me want to update the sucker.

Somebody give me a home, I'm cold, G

Twenty-twenty-twentyfour hours to go...
Monday, July 14, 2003 - 09:31 p.m.

This is the first long entry I've had in a while, so bear with me while I ramble. On another note, I think I'm going to throw an update or two on the site here soon, so be on the lookout. My comic list is in dire need of an update, that's for damned sure. As is my profile page.

I've been working for nearly three weeks now, and it feels pretty good. Well, my feet don't feel all that great, but my mental and physical health has leaped from where it was. I'm still looking to get a second job, with better pay, but this is definately a start. Some income is better than negative income. Hopefully, I'll find a great second job, and then Rob will find work, and we can move out into the area and find our niche.

[Cut on the grounds that I am a fucking asshole.]

Put in some applications today, and picked up another pair of pants for work. I say "another" as if I have several, don't I? Well, I don't. I've been wearing the same pair since I started. Gross, huh? Well, dress code says black, and I only had one pair. Now I have two. Thank god. I also picked up a bathing suit. 18$ for a two-piece. Not bad. It's cute as hell, but I'm about 15 pounds too heavy for it, and unless the top is laced tight, I look like a total slut (major cleavage... like... porn box-type charm). The appearance isn't so bad, but the thought that I might flop out is a little disconcerting. I'm pondering just returning it, rather than just losing the weight. I do want to lose the weight anyway, but I'm mostly just too awkward to wear something like that. I'm just so very homely.

In a less depressing vein, I'm whipping my way through Circle of the Moon, and I can hopefully finish the game before I have to return it. I doubt it, though. If anyone knows whether or not you can transfer save files, I'd appreciate being enlightened. I'll just buy my own damned copy, if I can transfer my save file to it. I finally beat Zone of the Enders. It had a sweet ending. If I had to rate it on an objective scale from 0-10, I'd have to give it a 4. It's definately not for everybody. The gameplay is ridiculously easy, and the strategy is fairly minimal. However, the style is unique, and the story was overall very clever. If you play it for the story, you're golden, if you're playing it for excitement, then you're S.o.L. It seems to me they left room for a sequel. Perhaps they will go the way of The 2nd Runner and make the GBA sequel a vast gameplay improvement as well? That would be highly ideal. Speaking of GBA games, I'm also half-tempted to get the Kirby port to the darling handheld. I've heard it was excellent, and now that I'm most of the way through with re-playing it on Dreamcast (as a ROM), it occurs to me that I'd really love to own that game. Must find used copy.

Tomorrow I head down to NY state for a visit to the future in-laws. I really hope the whole "grandkids" thing doesn't come up again. Seems to me like it's gotten to be a habitual thing, and it really unnerves me. I can't even support myself yet, so I'm not even remotely comfortable with the idea of discussing children, since by standards of independence I am one. I'm probably worried about nothing, as usual.

Pray for my car, and pray that I don't spend my remaining balance at the anime import store.
Little Gia, the Dream Mistress.

Terribly amused.
Monday, July 14, 2003 - 09:28 p.m.

Threat rating: High. The Bush administration is
concerned that it may not get a second term.
Therefore, we are going to change the rules so
that each Democrat vote only counts as 0.2
votes because Democrat is a shorter word than
Republican

What threat to the Bush administration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yeeeehaw!
Thursday, July 10, 2003 - 11:12 p.m.

Had a good day yesterday. :) It's nice to play videogames with someone besides my brothers and Rob for a change. I confess that I was probably really crass in front of Adam's girlfriend, though. I should probably make a better effort next time, but I was just so very excited to be around non-familial human beings for a change.

Fixed this layout up to something honorable, I think. This is head-and-shoulders above the last version. Feedback is still highly desirable.

I've got a lot of things on my mind, but I don't feel like talking about right now.

I have however, recently had Razzles (which inspired the new colors, talk about some vivid gum!), Sixlets (fake chockit!), and Ramune soda. That said, it's time for Family Guy, a shower, and bedtime.

boobooboop!
G

Thursday, July 10, 2003 - 09:23 p.m.
Giania Lilan: I'm batman
Bookwurm55: Kickass
Bookwurm55: c'n I be Robin?
Giania Lilan: sure!
Giania Lilan: we'll revolutionize the series
Bookwurm55: whee!
Bookwurm55: to the batcave!
Giania Lilan: *swish!*

GRAAAARGH
Tuesday, July 1, 2003 - 02:33 a.m.
P.S. Comcast can suck it. I'll be fixing this layout soon, and moving the archive to somewhere that DOESN'T have broken pictures. Fucking buyouts.

SSDD - Pirate stylie
Tuesday, July 1, 2003 - 02:07 a.m.

Captain's Log: 7-1-03

In this strange, green land that me and my crew have settled in, little has changed. There is still no successful cooperation with the natives, and goods are becoming hard to come by. Why don't they understand the barter system? Or perhaps it's just a distrust of foreigners. If they can't see our apparent skills, then we will have to find a way to make them see. We cannot be ignored forever!

In other events, we have devised other manners of keeping ourselves busy. So much so that I have been away from these quarters of mine for some days now. The weather has finally evened out, and various games and trips into the town have soaked up most of my time since then.

This diversion has not entirely been a waste, however. The sun is slowly starting to brown this fair European skin of mine, which will - Gods willing - protect me from a less appealing shade of red. I have also made promising contact with several merchants in the town, who might be able to use my services. I'll reiterate my hope of positive communication once again, in hopes that some greater force will hear my plea. Although, not everything can be left to divine providence, I will make my way back to them in the following days to formalize my intentions. By a whale's whiskers, I swear it's easier to arrange marriage to a mermaid than it is to convince someone to let you work for them!

Ah, what I wouldn't give to be back west. Drier climes are better suited to my tastes. Still, this heat isn't as wholly unbearable as some areas are, and I suppose my penchant for hermitage shouldn't be indulged. It's been said that I'm a closet socialite waiting to breathe free. I personally would rather not think about it.

I can tell that my entry runs on too long when it's less of a report, and more of a rumination. Ergo, I'll sign it off here, with the hope the stars will continue to guide me, even though my ship is - for a time - landed.
G "salty" dawg

Sunday, June 15, 2003 - 09:44 p.m.

What Dragon-Half Character Are You?

HA!
Friday, June 13, 2003 - 10:54 p.m.

Bet you weren't ever expecting this frigging thing to update, huh? Yet you people come here anyway. I know, because I pay attention to the hit counter. Fools, fools! Bwahahahaha!

I've been busy with, well, stuff. Trying to get work, sleeping too much, thinking too little (and sometimes too much since middle ground eludes me), dealing with a family crisis, and watching my money slowly burn away. (Although the burning isn't quite slow enough.)

Gaia has been sucking up a good deal of my time, also. Although I'm debating abandoning it for reasons of sanity. The lack of intelligence from a good portion of users drives me batshit, although I am training myself to ignore or be amused by them, as opposed to screaming woe and tearing my hair out. Someone, I beg of you, give me discourse of an elevated nature! Give me something to aspire to! Make me feel out of my league! At least that way, I will have multiple excuses to better myself, as opposed to the ever-looming reasons of "because I have to" and "because I feel like it".

Anyway,I'd love some feedback on this layout. Please, confirm for me that it looks like crap so I can go back to the drawing board and create something I don't wince at. As soon as the rain breaks, I want to take a slew of pictures. There are some gorgeous irises planted around here, and I want to capture them. If I can do this right, and get a good edit, then maybe you'll be seeing something less dorky than candy here soon. I hope. I dunno, this just didn't turn out like I wanted it to. Where did I go wrong? Maybe it's my general lack of effort.

Meh. Just... meh.
G