[this entry really has no significance... just good karma. | Saturday, December 28, 2002]
I seem to be the listmaking type... I have multiple lists I need to make... CDs to buy, films to see, list of pet peeves, among a variety of other things. The top things that freak me out most. My most awkward moments. I don't know why I like making so many lists, but I seem to do for some strange reason. Maybe it's to help me prioritize certain chaos going on in my life. I feel like fricking John Cusack in High Fidelity, but hey, I won't let it get that bad. Right now laundry is at the top of my list. Cause if I don't get it done now, I will be stinky for the next week, since I know I will have no other time to do it. Psh... doing laundry on a Saturday evening.... so sad.
But I'm not upset! I saw Chicago today, which is an uber-cool movie, since it's probably one of my most favorite musicals next to Grease. If we're counting movie musicals, and not just Broadway, then hell, it's right up there with Moulin Rouge! I don't know, I think I appreciate musicals about scantily clad women for some odd reason. Hmph. Funny how that works.
I could go on and on about how much I love movies, and at the moment, I probably like them much more than the music I adore... but that's just because I actually know something about films.... I mean, I know stuff about music, but it's all trivial... can I actually play? Hell no! I am the worst piano player ever... my rendition of "Heart and Soul" could deafen you, like it has for many of my close compadres. But alas, I've been very free with my artistic mind lately and I've found much comfort and solace in the arts, especially literature and painting. I also find extreme pleasure in the art of running people over in fast cars and slaughtering people with chainsaws in Grand Theft Auto.. but that's not an art, it's more of a skill. :)
Anyway, it's been so lovely thinking about some of my favorite things, but I think now the dreaded time has come. Laundry.... *dread dread dread* ...until that day...
07:27 p.m. | abused by maggie*! [e-mail foo][aim wut wut] [gbook fo sho] [if you really love me]
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[i lost the will to fight | Tuesday, December 24, 2002]
There are a number of things that make me angry, and being grounded for room cleaning is one of them. However, and very fortunately, I somewhat finished today, and gained my freedom to go out to a movie (although technically, I was out Sunday doing very bad things that I should probably not speak of)... umm yeah. So with this freedom I find myself being a menace to society yet again... but hey, what else can I do in boring ho-hum Silicon Valley anyway?
This holiday season has been surprisingly dull. It just gets earlier and earlier each year, so I suppose much of the drama already wore off late November. I suppose I'm just anxious for New Year's to arrive so I can put up my uber-cool Dr. Seuss calendar, cause seriously, Christmas is just so overrated. I don't even know what my family does for it anymore. I mean, we're not Jewish obviously, but it's not like we celebrate Christmas fanatically. We don't even have a tree, which doesn't bother me too much, since I don't really care much for Christmas anyway... at least this year. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I think that Christmas has lost its touch due to mass amounts of consumer consuming and commercial marketing. No one cares anymore if you celebrate Christmas even if you're atheist. I'm a Buddhist/agnostic/don't really care type of person... and half my family has the gifts, but no tree. Well, I suppose everyone does have a different way of making things unique, eh?
12:11 a.m. | abused by maggie*! [e-mail foo][aim wut wut] [gbook fo sho] [if you really love me]
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[milk and cereal | Wednesday, December 18, 2002]
I can't stand being called "kid." That has got to be one of the most annoying things ever. "Hey kids... yo kid...." ...I can't really say why it bothers me, but it just does. Also, a correction: not everyone is lusting after someone... especially not Jenny. I meant the Asian one, silly. =P Anyway, I have been really tired this week, but it's been pretty good to me. Since Saturday, I've had people over every day of the week at one point or another. It's pretty funny... we've turned to DDR for entertainment purposes. I once thought it was the devil.... but it's much more addicting than any drug, and much more better for your health, too. (= I've been having a lot of fun lately, just chillin', and getting to know familiar people better. The stability level in my life is at a high, and nothing has been really rocky lately either... everything is pretty peachy. I think I feel this way, and I am especially mellowed out, since I've been listening to a lot of jazz lately, but what can I say? Charlie Parker is good for the soul.
05:07 p.m. | abused by maggie*! [e-mail foo][aim wut wut] [gbook fo sho] [if you really love me]
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[pook of the devil | Thursday, December 12, 2002]
The attitude right now for me mainly is a little stressed.... over a number of many things, I guess. What's worrying me the most is the stupid dance I'm going to tomorrow. Dances aren't fun unless friends come along, and half my friends aren't even going cause dances are generally sort of bland and boring (to us, at least.) It's pretty much a lost cause either way. I'm just going cause I got asked... which is pretty funny, cause I would think that I would be the last person that anyone would ask for anything.... Nonetheless, I fear for Billy's homosexual tendencies (wink wink) and honestly, so much drama and bullshit over petty little relationships are going on right now, and it drives me positively insane. Everyone wants a date, everyone wants a boyfriend, for fuck's sake, everyone needs to get a hold of their lives first. Everyone is falling into the same misconceptions that when in high school, you absolutely MUST have a significant other. Laura is lusting over someone, Ryan is lusting over someone, Jessica is lusting over someone, Jenny is lusting over someone, and God knows how many people Jessie lusts over. Maybe I'm bitter cause I haven't really "liked liked" anyone for a while. Let's get this straight though - I am not in love with Billy, nor will I ever be (I think.) Frankly, liking people seems to be so time-consuming and so wasteful. For some people, I am so happy that it works, and for others, they seriously need to reprioritize things in their lives before actually pursuing a stable relationship. Everyone has the love bug... it's driving me oh so crazy....
I want to stop the clock and have everyone stop growing for a moment. I want them to appreciate the time that they're in, and not always have to worry about what's coming ahead, and what the future holds in store. Live your fucking life day by day, in the moment, while it's still there. I find moments so precious to me, and I can't bear to miss them if I'm off dreaming about things that will never happen. ...it's not like I've given up.... more or less, it's because I've lost my faith in a number of things...
[EMO-tions... blarg... | Thursday, December 5, 2002]
And again, I forgot that this even existed. It's not that nothing's going on... it's just more like things that people don't want to say... or have no time to say... or don't even need to say... there's just so much going on right now, and the funny thing is, I'm watching it all happen. Just sort of standing to the side and observing things for once. Let's do a quick run down of certain emotions and conditions I am feeling at the moment...
*Itchy - damn bug bite on my arm
*Achy - my eyes hurt from staring at the computer screen too long
*Tired - Must get up at 5 AM.... damn history...
*Sad - One of the coolest neighbors I have is moving away... =/
*Frustrated - I always am with something.
*Stressed - Damn yearbook and damn two week deadline.
*Control freak - CSF presidential duties.
*Confused - Don't know what to think about Billy still...
*Deprived - Good God, where is good music where I need it the most?
Damn... everything is just a little bit all over the place, but of course, it's all good. I suppose it was fairly good to vent, even if just for a little bit. Perchance we may meet again soon, sir blog. Until then, edelweiss and good night.
11:42 p.m. | abused by maggie*! [e-mail foo][aim wut wut] [gbook fo sho] [if you really love me]
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[oh my, starry eyed surprise... | Wednesday, November 27, 2002]
I seriously have not written here in ages.... but the holidays bring such good cheer and good tidings that it makes me want to share my joy with the rest of the oh-so-wonderful world. First thing, the best quote I have ever heard, which made me laugh my head off like no other:
"Britney Spears's birthday is December 2nd.... what should I wear?"
I know this is coming from the "biggest" Britney fan (whom I shall leave unnamed), but still, it's pretty ludicrous and hysterical. Friends have been really good to me, and in this week, I've discovered that I hold the affection of two people, one whom I care a little for and one whom I care for, but just not in an intense and passionate way. Apparently, word gets around that a certain someone likes me and wants to ask me out, but who knows... it could be a fib. Either way, it doesn't matter too much to me.... I am so content, and nothing can screw up this perpetual moment of bliss that I am in.
I failed my permit test twice within two weeks.... I suppose that does make a statement about something... I just can't figure out what yet... hee hee... Literature of choice right now is Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs and song is codeseven "The Rescue"... Hell, I'll admit it. I think I'm a sucka for that damn Crazy Town/Paul Oakenfold remix, too. Cause I wanna dance all night to this DJ..... oh yeah....
I suppose this is a very loose entry with no structure and form whatsoever. I guess that's sort of how I'm feeling right now though. Just feeling a bit loose and down with whatever... For once, I can honestly say that I am truly happy and thankful. God bless, Godspeed, and have a happy Thanksgiving to all of you Internet junkies....
11:54 p.m. | abused by maggie*! [e-mail foo][aim wut wut] [gbook fo sho] [if you really love me]
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[...can we have one last dance... | Friday, November 8, 2002]
I really need to change my layout. Really. I've had it for at least four months. That is way too long. Maybe over Thanksgiving break. We'll see.
The greatest songs in the world at this moment are Thursday - "Jet Black New Year" and Glassjaw - "The Number No Good Things Could Come Of." I feel the need for some good arse-kickin' music again. The lack of it these days seriously upsets me. Or maybe I have become too lazy to find new, good shit to listen to. Everything is at a standstill... even shows seem to be a passing fad. Maybe it is because nobody can go, but it seems as if no one really even wants to. I love shows with a passion, and it upsets me so much how no one is really into them anymore. Sure, all the good ones are in SF, but whatever happened to supporting music and having a good time? I think I am getting restless again. I need my show bubble... where I can just slip away from the world for maybe three hours, just to enjoy some good music where no one will complain.... well, except for maybe emo kids.
I hope Glassjaw kicked ass.... I hope Hot Water Music was great... and Coheed and Cambria... and Thrice... and the Blood Brothers.... 6 or 7 months til I get my car... =/ but anyway, happy early Veterans' Day....
12:35 a.m. | abused by maggie*! [e-mail foo][aim wut wut] [gbook fo sho] [if you really love me]
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[life update | Sunday, November 3, 2002]
It has been recommended that I should write again..... frankly, sometimes I really do forget that I have an online journal/blog. I think of things that I would like to say or write about, but I never seem to find an opportunity to get my thoughts down on keyboard and screen. Now that I am here, I am forgetting things to say again. Life has been good and fun, nothing too exciting and/or original.... I'm not as easily excitable as I used to be... I have lost that not-so-distant fervor for obsession.... I suppose that is a good thing.
I've been reading a lot lately. I go through practically a book a week (well, depending on length...) and I suppose I have been seeing many movies as well. Some recommended films of this current time are: The Ring, Igby Goes Down, and Secretary, but let me tell you, the latter is not for everyone, so please take my word on that. I think movies are getting to be my new hobby, when good shows aren't around. Before, it used to kill me if I didn't go to a great show at least once a month. Now, it's killing me if I don't get the opportunity to see good films in the theater. I love the film business, I do.... I'm pretty sure that I could use my passion for movies and turn it into a career.... only if I'm lucky though...
Blah.... so much homework and school crap.... work is bogging me down.... if you save me from this madness by taking me to see Hot Water Music and Thrice at Slim's this Tuesday, then I will madly hump your leg..... or not, if you preferred it. :D
11:28 p.m. | abused by maggie*! [e-mail foo][aim wut wut] [gbook fo sho] [if you really love me]
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| the story of my life | [born] 12.01.86 [named] maggie* [age] sixteen [species] asian [home] campbell, ca [captivity] branham h.s. [status] geek. [mind] bright [stereotype] none? [member] dry humpers [need] sleep [want] love
| j'adore | [music] a little bit of everything under the sun [anime] oh those big eyes... [writing] rants. raves. opinions do mattter. [art] cartooning, doodles, and sketches [entertainment] friends, movies, local shows, cruisin'... [food] all sorts and sizes [online] blogging, wasting time
| playlist | [codeseven] the rescue [charlie parker] confirmation [thursday] standing on the edge of summer [george gershwin] rhapsody in blue
Much thanks to National Geographic for providing the lovely picture.
Kudos also go to Boomspeed and Pitas
for the delightful and free web hosting space. (=
