Quotes.
Monday, July 16, 2001
01:30 a.m.
My birthday is coming soon. I'll be 19 soon. A year older, a year wiser. I really find nothing extremely special about this occasion. It's become a natural reaction to these days. I'm happy to be older, but why? I'm a year closer to my death. I'm an idiot just like everyone else. I'll be doing school stuff to get ready tomorrow, and as usual I'll be running errands. Back to the subject at hand, I've been watching as I've been quoted on a few occassions. This feels like deja vu, but what the Hell. I don't care. I truly feel that its a kind of honor when I'm quoted, because I got through to them. Especially if it were a friend, or someone who draws a comic strip. The reason why I'm finally bringing it to light now is that things keep crashing down. I guess this could be the most turbulant time of my life as everyone's lives are shifting. First, my friend Steve leaves because my town is depressing. How much closer to home can it hit? The most important thing out of this is that although I've known him on the net for a while, I treasure real friendship and the memories associated with it. I'm being quite naive, but I guess that's how it is when you're young and unknowing of the world around you. So, a year was basically wasted and I never was able to build enough memories. Maybe my problem is that I'm dependant on friendships. I don't know how to depend on myself to go on in life. As a child growing up and even now. I find that when I walk with friends, I'm always dragging behind them, I never walk beside them. I've always been more of a follower rather than an equal. Maybe it's an inferiority complex, maybe I'm just stupid. I really couldn't answer that question. I don't claim to be a psychologist or anything of the sort, but I don't think I'm too stupid to understand my own problems either. At the moment, I'm really worried about another friend of sorts. It's really sad when you hear about stories of doom and gloom happening all around you 24/7. It's really hard not to get depressed and to lose your own happiness in the process. I've always been a supporter of all my friends through hard times, so once again..The ambition in me is fueled once more. I can't explain it, but it's also been a kind of natural reaction in me a well. This is when I put all of my problems disappear and where they come back with a vengeance after I complete something. It's an endless cycle. I really want to help as much as I can, yet I also understand that sometimes it's futile to try when there is nothing to be done. I'm not sure if this trait is found in a lot of people nowadays, but I certainly have trouble dealing with it. I'm really tired right now and feeling at a dead end, I pray that things get better soon everyone.

Woot.
Monday, July 9, 2001
04:43 p.m.
My patience finally went out on me again. I found myself trolling on about something yesterday with another friend of mine. I get really annoyed easily now. Shows how good of a friend I am, eh? I went and played games. Yay. I got a month before school comes back into session and I'm tired as Hell right now. I guess this'll be good for me, more social interaction again. Definitely what I need. h8.

Um.
Friday, July 6, 2001
02:39 p.m.
All of June has been crap to me. I've gone through tons of stupid hardships no person should have to endure in that amount of time and have been disappointed on many levels. I've gone through the worst of arguments, and the best of times. The last month has been in my view an effort from Heaven or some godly force to keep me from achieving my objectives and keeping me down. Well, they've succeeded and I'm pretty depressed in a different way. I find myself going back to my old sleeping habits and finding a little more to live for, but I've learned a lot out of this and achieved at least some kind of success on my own in making things work. School's back in a month or so, my birthday is coming up too. These years pass by quicker and quicker, all these people I knew as a child are in their upper 20's now. Kind of hard to believe that when I was younger, they were still in high school. Ah well, I'm sore as Hell from finding renewed interest in the great game known as DDR 5th Mix. Go for broke!

Go for broke!
Monday, July 2, 2001
10:51 a.m.
Okay. 1 day before the big day, I think. I'm not going to jinx this up. Hopefully everything goes through as planned, otherwise I'm in deep shit. Bye!

www.suck.com
Friday, June 29, 2001
08:14 p.m.
Fate works in mysterious ways. Things can change in the drop of a pin and it's unexplainable as to why things happen to you, a lot happens in the process of two weeks. This is really short as I'm unable to currently put this down into words. It's all up to God now, but I will explain again soon. I'm beginning to find a little happiness in this Hell on Earth though. Bye!

"Fuck you world, you lose."
Wednesday, June 20, 2001
01:03 a.m.
Trip to Japan is official, trip to California will happen hopefully without any glitches. I paid off 1600 dollars for school and it's summer. I find myself getting tired of games quickly. I've played them all my life and feel there's nothing to do anymore. All I do now is watch my little brother play or someone else play. I'm just so burned out inside. I have no will to wake up in the mornings, no will to do anything whatsoever. So what's going to get me out of this slump? I have no idea. I also feel that my patience is beginning to tear again. Don't know how long I can control it, but I want to release some needed aggression soon. I really wish I could finally grow up and be above these emotions, but I'm not grown up and that's a fact I'm going to have to live with. There's just the smallest things out there that easily strikes a chord with me, and makes me want to pull out a detonator and just end the world all ready. I'm sure I'm not that much different from your average teenager, because I'm such a novice at life and all. I just won't find myself talking to my parents because it's all going to end up with me getting nothing resolved. I look at myself sometimes and wonder whether I do things for the right reasons. I'm always such a clown with my friends, but I find myself wanting to break out of that mold I'm oh so used to. Being a clown is getting me nowhere, yet I keep on putting on the big red shoes so to speak. My zodiac animal is of Leo the Lion, it says that I'm naturally an attention wanter. And what an accurate description of me that is. Happiness is such a fickle thing.

Our last kiss had a cigarrete flavor, a bitter and sad fragrance
Monday, June 18, 2001
02:58 a.m.
Nothing much to update, went to a tournament in 90 degree weather, got into arguments with my mother, got the speeding ticket taken care of, and I might go to Japan which would end up killing my trip to California. The choices one has to make. VC!

Tickets.
Monday, June 11, 2001
05:00 p.m.
I've been meaning to write for a while, but eh..Oh well. Yesterday was eventful, friend leaves town forever, another friend might not be able to go on a road trip with me scheduled next month, the heat is terrible, I get pulled over by a cop for speeding, the ticket is going to cost me $124 dollars that I don't have, and my ankle gets hurt pretty badly while my arm is sore as Hell from bowling and sucking at it. There's no escape from reality. As I was driving around a couple of days ago, I was thinking about all my friends and what they wanted to do. We're all still in school, and we've all got hard times ahead of us. I'm guessing this is why we're all living it up as much as we can before then. Sooner or later, all of us will have to go into our professions and make a living. This is just a theory and I could always be wrong, but I'm kind of dreading growing up because that's where you can no longer be so carefree. Childhood and adolescence were the best times of my life, it's easy to forget everything because of the lack of responsibilities and go off and play a video game. The repercussions weren't quite as severe. Ah well..I've got a quite few more years to go, might as well make it as memorable as can.

A-KON
Monday, June 4, 2001
01:59 p.m.
It was A-kon! Dealer's room wasn't of much good this year, but when has it been of good really? I bought another couple of cds and some comic books for my little brother. There were tons of people, stinky people. Walking into a single game room caused me to puke. I got to meet a couple of friends from IRC, cool people. I'm still tuckered out from the late nights I've spent after each of the days, combined with watching chefs go at it like it's the end of the world in an hour. I'm going to go to the mall today for job stat fun. It's hard to believe that I've been out of school for approximately a month. Time flies when you're having fun. I've got to make this month count as I've got a trip planned next month. I should start doing more planning soon. Hopefully my trip to Vegas won't interfere with the Cali trip, but who knows. I hate anime fans.

Synchronize this love is what we got to do.
Wednesday, May 30, 2001
03:32 p.m.
She's back and pissed as Hell! Life is back to normal, I suppose. So, with 3 hours of sleep. Mother wakes me up at 8 am to clean the entire house. You can feel the love. Nothing of epic proportions going on, I've got my applications for jobs I might want. EB sounds like a nice place, I can get paid for doing nothing and the people that work there don't give a damn. They're pretty nice people, Sega and Nintendo whores. We had a pretty interesting conversation the day before over the new systems and new games from E3. A nice place to work. I met up with an friend of mine and it was nice catching up with him. I was able to clear stuff up, and all is good between us now. I played DDR(Dance Dance Revolution) for a while yesterday and failed first song. I suck, go to Hell Naoki. A-kon is this weekend, the anime con of anime cons in Texas. Smelly fanboys/girls and weird people galore. Why am I going? Cds, buddy. Cheaper than ordering it off the net. I just hope they have what I want. At least this year will prove interesting with a few people I've been wanting to meet coming to A-kon. I have a month to scrounge up as much money as I can, bye!!!!

Let's play some tetris motherfucker.
Thursday, May 24, 2001
01:55 a.m.
Not gonna apologize for lack of updates, but hey this is for me right? Nothing like a little self affirmation in the late hours of the night. I haven't found anything I really wanted to talk about because it's pretty deep stuff that I'd rather not reveal here. So the job situation? Waiting for OKASAN (or however you wacky kids and your Japanese spell it)to come back. Turns out she's staying in D.C. for two weeks. So it's been a couple of weeks for the men of the Vo family to bond. Not much bonding has been taking place as the lil brother and I have been having adventures in the real world leaving the dad alone. In all due seriousness, I'm feeling a little guilty about it. I know that things going on in my life aren't really excuses to good ole family time with pop and all, so maybe I'll find some way to have a boys night out or something. One day, you're a little kid going to the arcade with dad and winning all this candy. Now you're almost a man and drifting apart as maturity begins to set in. I'd take him out for a drink, but being too young for alcohol does pose a threat. That's a good idea, taking ole dad out for a beer.

Taaaakkeee ooon meeeee~
Tuesday, May 15, 2001
01:49 a.m.
This game is pretty addicting, it's DDR all over again for me. I've been playing this game for 3 nights in a row after fun job hunting and such. Maybe I'll work at THE BUCKLE, retail fun so to speak. Nothing overly eventful happened this past weekend, just a lot of rest and relaxation aka arcade fun. Mother's gone for a week, dad's working his butt off and I'm stuck having to really take care of the little brother. As a side effect of my mom leaving, he tends to lose all common sense and turns into a snitch, something he hates by the way. Ooh, do I smell hypocrite? Oh well, we all make mistakes and grow up. I feel like giving him a good punch in the arm however, talk about loyalty. Now to Pump It Up, big DDR clone and it's different. The songs are Korean and are very good, big plus. The difficulty in getting the songs you want, big minus. Not feeling like doing a big ole review, otherwise I might end up like Logan and I certainly wouldn't want to bite off him like the rest of the world. How relieving, no worries in the world..

Pika-chu!!!!
Friday, May 11, 2001
02:42 p.m.
Whoa, yo. I'm number one pokemon trainer now, I guess. Summer's one big uneventful mess for a month or so. I'm still out there looking for a job, because being jobless with no means of income is pretty boring. I've given no thoughts to my grades whatsoever for the past couple of days sleeping in till 1 or 2 pm in the day. I'm probably going to go out and look around at the stores around the mall. New...wardrobe?! I was suggested from a friend that I get a new wardrobe, I know it's nothing personal. I do dress pretty raggedy nowadays. It's just that I really don't like the process of changing my entire wardrobe one year, just for it to last another year. Where does the unused clothes go? Well, I think I'll invest in it anyways. My friends are really smart shoppers and get by without having to waste a lot of money. I should learn from them. It's time to go out in the world, and off to the mall!

Here's an impression, "Caw Caw! Bang! Fuck I'm dead!"
Wednesday, May 9, 2001
01:05 a.m.
Finally, all of my finals are over and I'm ready to decay to nothingness. I only had two hours of sleep last night thanks to the movie of the night, "Class Act" by Kid 'n Play. I was able to sleep for a good part of the day recooping on my hours. It hasn't been an eventful day or anything, but I was able to finally able to catch up with a fellow friend in college. I've known her for about 4-5 years now, around this time of the year. I tend to think back about the past and how long I've known a person. There's nothing better than going through the memory vault of your mind and laughing about something embarassing you did or said a few years ago. Maybe it's a full moon or there's something about the pollen, but I can't help but feel nostalgic. It's usually been a rare occurance to talk old friends. When I do, it feels like no time has passed. I'm also a stupid sucker for believing in love, ahaha.

You were kicked by Badtzmaru (Out.)
Tuesday, May 8, 2001
12:25 a.m.
I've got the worst bipolar syndrome on the face of the Earth. This has been bothering me all day long. Something inside of me has been tugging at the guilt string for a while now. At first I thought it was best to just try to forget it, but it's been annoying me for a while. Maybe it's the....NICE GUY inside of me trying to take control? What the fucking Hell ever though. I never could really hold a grudge against people for my life. A while back, I was talking in trust with a friend about how situations always change when you start to know someone. It's so much easier to hate someone you don't know as opposed to hating someone like a friend or someone you know really well. I'm one of those understanding types, it's going to be the death of me. One day when I'm senile, I'm gonna get killed for being sympathetic to some guy who wouldn't give a second thought to shooting me. Maybe it's time to put the past away. Everyone else has. (By the way, you've seen it here first. A picture of me! Here.)

All's cool in the hood, yo'
Saturday, May 5, 2001
05:22 p.m.
I've got a headache, but I'm feeling much less pressure now. I've still got a lot of curse words to yell however. That inner anger will never leave! I'm actually in a pretty good mood however! Today was a day of hardcore studying. I don't expect myself to do another session of hardcore studying anytime soon!About Wednesday, it was a great day because I just needed a break from school, so what better way to spend it than forcing a moving friend to go eat Vietnamese food? So Steve and I were gonna go get some pho("healthy vietnamese soup!") until I find out that Damon and Mark were coming, then it became Damon, Mark, Logan and Trey! The more the merrier! So while Steve and I waited for them, we played Nam 1975 where I was a freedom fighter for Vietnam and failed my country terribly contributing to the end of the world from Saigon Sluts with really big nostrils. Afterwards, it was Quiz Dungeons and Dragons, and we all left for the pho place. PHO 95! God damn, talk about obsession with these last two digits. I've probably seen a Pho 97 and 99 somewhere along the way, hard to remember. We walked in and I felt people were staring at our merry group. You see, I was the only Vietnamese person in the group and got looks as if I was the devil for bringing my friends there. There, I ordered most of my friend's dishes. It was great conversation and I was really able to enjoy myself as I was introducing some of my friends to Viet food for the first time. I guess pride works in weird ways. Damon was struggling with the noodles and did the best he could with chopsticks, Mark seemed to really enjoy his meal as did Logan. I was the only one who finished my bowl. It's either got to do with me being a pig or it's a viet thing. I lean towards the former however. I felt pretty embarassed as we were paying the bill because we all had big bills and weren't really in the situation to pay for all of someone's bill, so it was all separate fun. I was there speaking to the lady and was nervous to the point where I started messing up my Vietnamese, whoo I'm such a shy guy. So I apologized a couple of times and paid a 3 dollar tip for all the trouble and left. I found myself walking out as everyone had boxes of poppers/snappers from the Vietnamese goods store to the left of the restaurant. 2 for $1 sale! I haven't seen those things in years, and it was a really hilarious experience as people got snappers thrown at each other. Steve got a barrage of snappers on his back while Trey got a snapper on his ear. As we were driving back in Mark's car, we had an interesting conversation about snappers and Chinese New Year. We got back and hung out at Steve's really small dorm room causing major mayhem and noise with Snappers and our loud yelling as we played QUIZ DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS as a team. It was a pretty long game until Logan messed it up on accident and we gave up. From there, we left for the outside of the dorm and goofed off for about another 30-40 minutes while I tried to call some girl I met at a club after 3-4 weeks. No luck catching her though. :( After a while, Mark had to go and while we were goofin off. I was in the middle of a Vo Headbutt until I got a palm into the face, it stung for a little while. But I was cool, yo. No tears! At least I didn't get kicked in the balls like Damon however. He was in hella pain and all of us were cracking up, I kind of feel guilty now. It was all in the name of fun though. We finally left, and I guess it was about 10 or 11 when we did. I really hope more things like this happen in my life.

FINALS
Friday, May 4, 2001
11:40 a.m.
Haha, I have no time to paraphrase Wednesday's story. It's HELLA FINALS TIME AND I REALLY REALLY HATE MY TEACHER!! DIE BITCHES!!!

SNAPPERS.
Wednesday, May 2, 2001
11:35 p.m.
I'm sick as Hell, but today was one of the best days I've had in a long time. MORE TO COME.

I'm stupid.
Saturday, April 28, 2001
02:12 a.m.
Okay, I'm a liar. I'm writing, so fuck you. I'm having a fairly hard time writing this journal sometimes. There's so many things I can write about yet there's so much I can't write about. I guess it's that kind of "for suitable audiences only" thing. It might look like I haven't had a lot going on in my life, but behind the scenes. It's always that eternal inner struggle for harmony and taking care of meaningless tasks such as going to the grocery store or going to the arcade, maybe even talking to counselors at school. I bet that sounds like fun, right? At this moment, I just feel like writing an entry. Not much anger from me right now. It's just me, something I wish was a bottle of hard liquor and winamp pumping up the tunes. Looking at people's blogs, web entries, journal entries, or whatever the Hell you want to call them has given me a little strength though. No matter what kind of situation you're in, it doesn't mean you can't write about it. Even if you don't do a lot of things, you can still write. Whether it be a detailed history of your life or a short sentence because of boredom. So there's the Vo$tyle info for now. By the way, I never thanked you for fixing the design for me. So thanks, Steve.

Temp
Friday, April 27, 2001
03:41 p.m.
I've got things to write about, but too bad I'm trying to study and get things done. I really shouldn't even be typing this right now, but I'm a sucker for updating. It's CRUNCH TIME! I get out of school next week!

Oh my God, what's the time?!
Monday, April 23, 2001
11:21 p.m.
I've finally beaten the oversleeping demon, just to find myself driving around parking lots for over an hour. More fun than you can ever expect! Driving through the various crowded UTA parking lots was great, especially with the rising gas prices and all. You can never get enough gas for $1.70 a gallon. The best thing about this all was that there was a fire drill and that oddly calmed me down from my then present anger. The eye of the storm, no doubt. I know I created this journal to rant, but it's so hard to rant when things tend to work only when you're in that moment. Back onto topic, stress is the best thing in the world. It keeps you awake, it forces you to not procrastinate, and it puts more unneeded pressure on your heart. It's late, HARD STUDYING TIME!! F YOU SU!

Cars.
Monday, April 23, 2001
01:10 a.m.
Short topic today. Driving is fun, especially when you're speeding and don't get caught. However, I've come to the realization that I'm a god awful driver with a lot of luck. I'm probably going to end up dying one of these days from a terrible collision at 100 mph just because I was trying to change lanes. I guess it's the suicidal part of me trying to tempt fate.

FOR TROWA
Saturday, April 21, 2001
03:37 a.m.
It's all for you even though I'm in no way sure what I want to type. So bye!

My life's flashing through my eyes!
Thursday, April 19, 2001
03:52 p.m.
It's 2 weeks before finals time. I'm oh so used to highschool, it's not funny. I've been contemplating my life somewhat. Just a year ago, I was pretty enthusiastic about the first break I was going to have in year. Then college comes along. "Hi, Mike Vo. I'm college. You're going to Hell." And this is where I am now, watching as things catch up with me and seeing things begin to rush. This stuff is definitely comparable to life, now I see what people mean when they call school a "preparation for life." It really is, life works just like this. Keep up with it, or go kill yourself. I've been noticing as a friend's been trying to get his life together and school work taken care of. It's pretty admirable to see that other people can pull this bs known as school off. It's the end of the school year already when I could've sworn that it was still fall the day before. First year of college finished..? Well, I suppose. You know when you're sleeping, and you wake up in the middle of a night with a cold sweat wondering what you're going to do with your life? It's been happening to me for a few nights now causing me to miss some classes in the process. Go to sleep, wake up at 4-5 am for no damn reason then falling asleep and sleeping through the alarm! Time to buy another alarm clock, or leaving it somewhere that'll tick me off in the mornings.

End your life.
Monday, April 16, 2001
05:50 p.m.
It's Monday Madness! Okay. Not really. It's hard to believe that I have 3 weeks before I'm once more out of school for the summer. My impending doom will come in the form of finals. I hear that my parents want me to enroll for summer school. I'm fairly burned out, but then college is supposed to make you do that! It's all a great plan, push all this stuff onto me so that I fall into a deep depression and end up hanging myself with a garbage bag on my head because I'm too cowardly to see myself end my own life. Sure, life is peachy keen and all. Death is such an easy way out though! No wonder teens have the highest suicide rate. No, I'm not killing myself either. Well, not yet. Hanging yourself doesn't sound all that fun. Maybe a semi automatic in the mouth, just maybe.

Clubbing!
Sunday, April 15, 2001
03:26 a.m.
Hmm..3 a.m. Met the girl of my dreams I guess? Hell, I dressed nice, did my hair, and bothered people to actually lend me a shirt. All for what? To get brushed off. Maybe I'm taking it too far, I mean. The girl's had no sleep for 3 days and has been going dancing for the past 2. So...I should be nicer I suppose? Well, I'm living in the present. Until tomorrow or the next day or whenever the Hell I find out what was really going on, this is gonna be how I feel about it! All in all though, it was fairly fun. Watching my friend show off at breakdancing was cool enough, feeling intimidated as Hell however isn't. So..Maybe I should pick up the Asian stereotype. Acura/Honda - check. Really expensive clothing - nope(Well..maybe, but I doubt it.) Spikey hair - nope. Break dancing fool - nope. Fanatical street racer - check. AZN PrYdE - nope. 2/5..I'm on my way!

WTF
Saturday, April 14, 2001
03:27 p.m.
Saturday's here! 3 day weekends sure go quickly. After tomorrow, it's back to class. Ah, the fancy life at UTA. It's a brand new day and I've got nothing to write about. Tonight might open up something interesting though. So, OUTZ YO

Hate.
Friday, April 13, 2001
07:41 p.m.
1st entry. I find that so many people are nosey when it comes to personal business. I'm sure these people don't mean to do it on purpose and all, but Hell..The idea of giving someone their privacy when they need it. Is it completely lost? I know there's going to be people who are going to call me a hypocrite since this is on a rant page, but then I could be explaining myself, but then maybe you should read what the heading of this page says.