little ms. "sweet and innocent."
Now without pictures because Tripod has started to be jerks about it.
Friday, December 21, 2001
Taking off...
to the parents' house, and it's unlikely I'll get to update from their home. They may have DSL, but knowing them they'll be yelling at me to hang out with them instead of surfing. See y'all next year, which I devoutly hope doesn't suck as much as this one did.
Friday, December 21, 2001
Oh, that's just crappy!
This company decided to tell their employees, who are used to receiving a holiday bonus worth 3 times their usual pay, that they're NOT getting it this year and all the money's going to charity. Note that they did not consult with the employees about this, which is why I suspect that they're not really donating to charity at all and are just keeping the bucks for themselves. That's just shitty of them to do. Even if they really ARE donating to charity, it's only fair to ask, especially when (a) you work in the media, and (b) are in a recession.
Friday, December 21, 2001
They stole our snowman! Let's go to court!
Friday, December 21, 2001
Real cheap toy roundup.
Features stuff that says "I like Harry Potter, but I'm poor" and "Might as well prepare for the recession right now by playing Fast Food Barbie!"
Friday, December 21, 2001
The Mariah Carey holiday special
Unrecognizeable songs and tits straining to escape.
Friday, December 21, 2001
An amusing interview with Giles in England
Friday, December 21, 2001
Survivor 4 spoilers
Not a lot of huge news here, but a few possible tidbits.
I didn't realize this when watching the show, but they weren't pushing products and brand names at this year's Survivor Auction. Or as this person put it, I knew advertising was bad this year, but I didn't know it was this bad!
Friday, December 21, 2001
An amusing description of Love Cruise's Toni
She's crazy, pure evil, completely awful and fake with a bad temper. But other than that, a great girl!
Friday, December 21, 2001
Buffy gets a financial analysis
Some guys got the idea to tell Buffy what she should do, moneywise. First off, they tell her to get a financial planner, then to start a rainy-day fund, save for Dawn's college (assuming Buffy never returns, I guess) and save for her unlikely retirement (but given her current rates of death, I wouldn't really stress about that one). To which I say, exsqueeze me? Where's she going to keep getting money to put into these things in the first place? It's gonna be harder to hit up Giles on a regular basis when he's on the other end of the world, you know.
Also ironic here are the suggestions that (a) the Watchers should pay for Buffy or (b) the people of Sunnydale should. Hello, didn't you watch the show? Even assuming she and the Watchers were getting along and she was being the perfect obedient girl, I still don't think they'd give her money (though they should). As for the community, oh yeah, Buffy's got a great rep with the cops and the mayor's office.
And yeah, a real-life Buffy could sell the movie rights, except for the "we're attempting to keep the ampires-vay thing a secret" deal. Would she be believed outside of Sunnydale? (Then again, L.A....)
Friday, December 21, 2001
Pilot who threw peanuts at his boss gets hired again.
The hirer was Richard Branson, who doesn't mind that sort of thing and apparently would cheerfully throw peanuts back at him, should the need ever come up. I want a cool boss like that. Not that I've ever thrown peanuts at anyone, but I like that attitude of having fun with it, you know?
Friday, December 21, 2001
Bill Gates claims Windows XP is most secure system ever, if you just don't tattle on it...
(Written by Wil Wheaton.)
Thursday, December 20, 2001
A Very Special Sedaris Christmas
While writing my scary-ass holiday letter this year, I was reminded of my favorite letter of all time, the one David Sedaris wrote about a family with a crack baby and an illegitimate Vietnamese slut daughter. You can hear it read aloud by Julia Sweeney right over here. There's also his story about a reviewer of children's pageants, and some stuff about how he's a Christmas writer that takes the fun out of Christmas. Hilarious stuff.
Thursday, December 20, 2001
Why we don't need superstar Christmas albums.
I completely agree. Do we really need fifteen albums of the same twelve carols being sung by fifteen different people? I think not. I like the suggestion here of only covering one novelty tune instead. Right on, though given the no-more-singles link I already posted below, that's probably no longer doable.
Thursday, December 20, 2001
Depressing moral messages in this year's holiday specials.
This one's pretty funny, actually.
Thursday, December 20, 2001
Leaving fruitcake around for years makes it better. I don't wanna know.
It's not like they're supposed to be actually eaten...
Fifty ways to flatten your fruitcake.
Thursday, December 20, 2001
I Married Barbie
And apparently, this isn't a joke. Oy. Vey.
Thursday, December 20, 2001
You know, these funniest jokes aren't all that funny.
Thursday, December 20, 2001
How on earth does a baby fit into your pants?
Thursday, December 20, 2001
Judge orders pot-smoking teen to listen to Afroman's song
(You know which one I mean.) He also gets to write a summary of the song and turn it in for homework. The kid already owns this song and loves the judge, as you can imagine.
Thursday, December 20, 2001
You know your job's not safe when they lay off the sex columnists.
This is incredibly depressing. And people wonder why I'm not looking for writing work right now? Can't imagine.
Thursday, December 20, 2001
Springfield: The Map
Thursday, December 20, 2001
I thought, My God, I'm your boyfriend. You're my girlfriend. Cruise and Cruz!
That's supposedly Tom speaking that above line. Doesn't it make you feel rather sick?
Anyway, there seems to be an awful lot of bitching about Tom articles out lately, so what the hell.
Wednesday, December 19, 2001
Grandma DID get run over by a reindeer!
Wednesday, December 19, 2001
This scares me.
The Star of Dave.
You'd better watch out,-- for all your presents, that is. Santa might have The Anthrax!
He laid off the reindeer.
Wednesday, December 19, 2001
What the hell was this guy thinking?
Some girl wrote to Father Christmas and got a letter back from him discussing how his Christmas run went. Who the hell possibly thought it was a good idea to have him write a post-Christmas letter?
Wednesday, December 19, 2001
Music singles: the dying industry
Don't even THINK that you can purchase a song any more if it's not already out on a big album.
Wednesday, December 19, 2001
KRON folks are being amazingly chipper...
despite losing their NBC affiliation in the Bay Area. Now all they have left is seriously crap TV, which they will rerun at least twice a day. My parents, who live in the Bay Area, refuse to get cable and love the West Wing. They're gonna go nuts.
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
I'm offended.
Koreans are wanting to avoid having baby girls next year, during the year of the Horse. They think Horse kids have vigor and high ambition, and this is a bad thing for girl because they might actually be strong and stomp all over their husbands. Speaking as a Horse-born girl myself, I'm offended! (Also a bit ironic, since I wouldn't claim to have "high" ambition in particular, and the last thing I'm likely to do is stomp all over anyone.)
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
Online advent calendars rock!
The one above has plenty of activities, memories and goodies for you to enjoy, while this one is nicely animated. My favorite is the cow one, and I like that there's a Hanukkah day on there. Rudolph is also quite sweet.
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
Gift Ideas for Malcontents
Outrageous gift guides, featuring bellybutton lights and a portable lie detector (warning: link will most likely change at some point).
Dave Barry's Gift Guide 2001!, featuring $4.95 worth of class items, the Stadium Pal, the flamingo hats, Titanic coloring book, and talking beer opener.
An inflatable deerhead. You know you want one.
The Onion's Hot Holiday Toys, including "I'm A Little Slut" Rock-Star Karaoke Machine, Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Tennessee-Marriage Playset, Henry Porter and the Wizard's Rock budget toys and Kick the Bucket! The Wacky Suicide Game.
The most depressing gift guide ever. Seriously, I link to it for its freakishness, though it’s kinda suicide-encouraging.
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
One in four family gatherings end in fighting.
Is anyone surprised at that? Brothers and mothers are apparently the worst at starting fights, which explains a whole lot.
This guy's hiding in a nuclear bunker to avoid his bickering relatives this year.
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
Teacher temporarily bans Christmas to get kids to behave.
Just like Malcolm in the Middle!
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
The joys of office parties where you pay to get in. Ugh.
Not my problem, but there's enough amusing office party links around these days that I figured I'd pass them on to the temporarily employed. Or perhaps those of us who aren't might wanna gatecrash.
Here's a scary office party survival guide. Accountants and women are the most likely to get down and dirty at the party. Watch out! One of them may be The Spectacle Of The Evening, which the catering staff will mock.
Hollywood parties just aren't that impressive.
I don't want to go to a party where the plate asks me embarrassing questions or the table forces me to mingle while I'm trying to eat.
One in four Brits has sex in a car after an office party.
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
Ah, December, the time where there's tons of religious holidays, yet only one is acknowledged.
This guy (above) is getting castigated by asking for religion-neutral celebrations and decorations and suggesting people say "Happy holidays." Everyone else in return is getting nasty and yelling "Merry Christmas!" double time. Geeeez. It's bad to show some sensitivity for those who aren't Christian?
Here's some more pissiness. Though I do have to agree that if one religion is cut out of things, the rest of them should be as well, so that wasn't fair.
The December dilemma of mixed-religion couples.
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
Reindeer really fly and Santa really exists?
That's the premise of this nonfiction book, which I picked up back when I was still employed and writing about holiday books. I just thought I'd mention it because it's so interesting.
Also interesting is this scientist claiming that magic mushrooms may help them fly.
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
Newspaper editor gets canned for agreeing that her town is the armpit of America
Once upon a time, my favorite fellow at the Washington Post, Gene Weingarten, decided to do a search for the Armpit (town) of America, a place from which there is no escape, no cheer, no hope, no nothing. Though he thought about both Elko, Nevada and Butte, Montana (both towns I've spent some time in, unfortunately), his final selection was Battle Mountain, where there's nothing to do but drink and gamble (hey, just like the rest of the state). To put it bluntly, not just the editor (who refuses to LIVE in this town and had a 52 mile commute to work) agreed with that assessment. The Chamber of Commerce thinks the armpit label could be an opportunity. And the one woman who tries to defend the town is, well ... really stretching it. However, Weingarten gets kinda attached to the little burg after awhile, and it ends on a sweet note. It's a really good article.
And then the poor woman gets canned for it. Merchants were objecting. Oy. Weingarten's feeling bummed.
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
Woman to marry highest bidder
God, some things never do change, do they? Ugh.
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
Liev Schrieber: another victim of hippie parents.
(a) They refused to give him a name for four years.
(b) insisted on calling him "Huggy" until he turned 18.
That poor, traumatized child!
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
The Corporate Mascot Test
I am the Energizer Bunny. Not only do I love the bunny, this is er, scarily accurate.
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
Vamps are good eatin'!
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
Um, yeah, sure, shoplifting was research for my nonexistent movie.
Bullshit!
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
You know, I don't think the online petition to force Lucas to have Peter Jackson take over filiming Episode 3 is go
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
Note to self: God does NOT give out free money to your bank account.
Once upon a time, a bank error gave a broke religious couple tons of bucks. They checked with the bank multiple times to see if it was a mistake, and they were told everything was perfectly fine. So they then went around spending the money on religious stuff. A year and a half later, the money's gone AND the bank realizes that yes, it did fuck up and they want the money back.
On the one hand, miracles like that just don't happen. How many times have you read that one guy's story on the net about how he ended up with a enormous check and how they eventually wanted the money back? In the event I found some miraculous amount of money in my account, I wouldn't touch it because I know damn well they'd want it back and clean me out. It's just common sense.
But on the other hand, these poor schmucks checked with the bank MULTIPLE times before spending the money, they were ASSURED it was okay, and it took them a year and a half to figure out what they did! They're being left alone now and not being prosecuted, and that's absolutely right.
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
A Wiccan is the new chaplain at a Wisconsin jail.
Which sounds pretty unique to me, but of course, that doesn't go over well with everyone. Despite (a) some of her er, parishoners being Wiccan, (b) her not being into converting people in general, (c) knowing a lot about a bunch of different religions, etc., one state rep wants to get rid of her funding. Ironic, given how the guy was all about giving money before. Ugh.
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
My vicar can beat up your vicar!
Anglican clergy, who apparently get beaten up more than your average probation officer, are now being taught to kick some ass. There's a shocker for ya.
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
Enough of this terrorists have won stuff!
There are now hundreds of references in the media to "If we (blank), then the terrorists have won." And now they're about stupid crap like Martha Stewart's forced Christmas parties, or anything that someone disagrees with. Bleech. I'm tired of hearing it.
Meanwhile, other important news is buried under war stuff.
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
The fudging of reality in reality TV
Yes, even I think it's scripted. I just don't care all that much, usually.
Can people PLEASE stop casting two people with the same name in a show?
This year's reality TV galaxy of stars!
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
Survivor scandal information!
In the above link, it's revealed that Lindsey, Clarence and Lex were hospitalized for dysentery (oh, that's pleasant), but it has not been mentioned on the show. Apparently they took Lindsey out of the game for awhile, then put her back, and then shipped her off to the hospital again after she got voted out.
Kelly was my favorite on this series. Alas. Lex apparently didn't apologize for screwing her over after he found out that's what he did.
Amazingly enough, Brandon's still friends with Kelly, Kim P. and Tom. Tom calls him Sugarbear. Lindsey's pissed at him, though.
How Richard ruined the game for the other series, leading everyone to grab for fame instead of enjoying the game.
For those of you wondering, Jeff from Survivor 2 is bisexual. Oddly enough, Kimmi's labeled here as "slutty."
