little ms. "sweet and innocent."
Now without pictures because Tripod has started to be jerks about it.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
The Harry Potter Lexicon
For those who didn't read the book before watching the movie (i.e. the fellow I saw it with, ahem), explaining plot holes in the movie.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Gag me.
Weeks and weeks ago, I mentioned that EW was having an online poll and people were writing in random non-celebrity folks and Wil Wheaton. Well, wouldn't you know it that EW decided to (a) throw out the results of that entirely, and then (b) go through the new results and then throw out anyone they didn't want to win. Honestly, I think this is just skanky. Why didn't they just make up their own damn list of celebrities and have people pick one of the automated dots instead of claiming people could write in? Obviously they wanted Britney to win, so why even bother pretending that there's democracy in Celebritymagazineland?
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Elizabeth Hurley's ex insinuates the baby isn't his.
What. A. Jerk. Meanwhile, I was wrong about her and Hugh getting back together, as he's partying with chicks.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Giles lives in a haunted house, doo-dah, doo-dah
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Will Smith went without sex for a year while filming the Ali movie.
I read that a week or so ago and thought "Hmm, wonder what Jada thought of that." Then I find this one a few days ago saying that he and Jada were enjoying faking sex scenes in the movie for hours a day.
Huh?
Sunday, December 16, 2001
This is kinda disturbing when you think about.
Well-off men can pay these people to investigate a random woman they saw on the street, and then set up a "coincidental" meeting between the two. They are, however, pretty snotty about not letting women or gay guys or fat guys hire them.
Can anyone explain to me why the "male-female dynamic doesn't work that way?" I'm baffled.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
A soap about an Egyptian polygamous family ticks people off because it's too perfect.
Huh. I just don't know what to say to this.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
SlugBot! Finally finding a use for common garden pests!
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Michael Jackson wants you to excuse his skin
Yup, it's another really gross and creepy article about him! Whee!
I pity the poor schmuck trying to interview the guy. At first "all topics were declared fair game except pedophilia", then he starts declaring ex-wives, surgery, and past admitted to drug additions off limits. MJ tells a nice story about Elvis and Sammy Davis Jr. lecturing the Jackson 5 about not doing drugs, and Michael "never forgot it." Um, right. That worked well.
I pity the kids. Prince has dyed blonde hair at the age of four???
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Bookies offering 20/1 that Mick Jagger marries another 60-year-old this year.
Oh puh-leeze. If he marries a 40-year-old it'll be a bleedin' miracle. More like it'll be a 20-year-old. EW.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Woo hoo! Most of Japanese wouldn't mind a female ruler!
Good thing, since it's not like there's a lot of male heirs to spare around there.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Why the vulva puppet, who knows, not I.
This vibrating picture of one is pretty squicky, though.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Slash fiction template.
Not really my bag, but amusing nevertheless.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Women's magazines: Just a big slush pile of girly girl crap and nothing more.
Honestly, the only time I buy these things any more is when I had homework assignments and had to cut magazines up. There's nothing to actually READ in these magazines, and they all publish the same old crap every month. It's all about the woman as shallow bimbo. Yawn.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Baby rapers.
There's not much you can say about that beyond people are sickos.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
This year's Bad Sex in Fiction Award goes to...
a guy who compared it to a polar expedition!
I think last year's was funnier, though.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Sperm donor has to pay child support.
That's just wrong.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Crocodile Hunter: The Movie
I actually got to see this show while I was out of town (gotta love friends with cable), and I finally saw what happens if Steve gets bitten by a croc. The answer is: surprisingly, nothing. He doesn't make a sound. It was only his thumb, and perhaps he's used to that, but still. I always wondered.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Man manages to live in decked-out airplane hanger for two years before they finally kick him out.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Just remember, folks: Honesty with regards to illness is NOT the best policy.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
The editorial cartooning industry, like everything else in the media, is going to hell.
This is an interesting article, which first goes into how almost everyone drew a crying Statue of Liberty for Sept. 11, and then goes on to talk about why papers are finding it easier to just pay $1.25 for a syndicated cartoon than pay an original cartoonist if they're all gonna do the same thing. One paper's taking over 15 months to find a replacement cartoonist because they don't want to pay the salary. Bleah. Time for me to get out of this industry (even if I wasn't a cartoonist).
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Saddam Hussein publishes book #2
What a sappy guy.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Same sex sweethearts not allowed in yearbook. Blech.
I love one quote in here, about how everyone was so open minded and then the adults took it away.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
The curse of popularity
You start up a site for fun, get some readers, get some press and get some more readers. Then you end up having to pay for every time someone visits you, because your host can't handle the traffic, and you hope people forget about your site. Then you beg for donations.
Folks, whatever you do, DON'T tell people about this site. Hide it! Keep it only unto you and a select cadre of intimates! Never breathe a word of it to Metafilter!
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Mullet haiku
More mullet haiku. The one about the sister jerking the guy off I just saw on Jerry Springer the other night...
Sunday, December 16, 2001
No-style writers make the big bucks, all plot, no language style
Yes, I realize I'm going to make myself sound like a brain-dead popular-reading moron here, but I just don't. like. Hemingway. At all. I hate his style. Generally, I'm not a real "style" person, I don't think, at least not when it comes to fancy descriptions and whatnot. I tend not to like or enjoy reading the most famous authors. And while I don't claim I read all of the popular ones or think they're good either (those Kellerman quotes were really bad, actually), at least there's some interest going on beyond word poetry.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
100 Dave Gormans
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Which online personality test are you?
I'm that James Bond villain one. Um, okay...
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Throwing porn on his coffin
There's a guy in this town I keep hearing stories about with regards to his enormous porn collection. I imagine his funeral will go something like this.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
I miss my dog more than I miss boinking Keanu
Yup. You read that right.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
The real perpetual student (okay, not REAL perhaps...)
I doubt anyone but me ever read the MacDonald Hall books as a kid, but this story is essentially the same plot as one of the books- set up a fake student who becomes a star.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
The Murphy's Law Site
Sunday, December 16, 2001
SPUD: for those of us dropped like hot potatoes
Sunday, December 16, 2001
The Evil Criminal Test
I'm Imelda Marcos. I must be one lame kinda villain (though I do have a lot of shoes stuck under my desk...).
Sunday, December 16, 2001
As usual, the medical profession thinks that scaring women about their fertility is a great idea.
So there's a campaign out to scare women into having babies before they hit 30. Okay, yeah, it declines later, sure, but... (a) infertility happens to both genders, and age is a factor for about 10-20 percent of it, (b) infertility can't be prevented by starting early, and in 30-40 percent of cases the problem is unclear. So why start panic attacks? People who wait know damn well why they're waiting and what they're risking.
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Flying nightclubs! Whee!
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
The joys of being an English major who doesn't like to read
(Ironically, my best friend, who's applying for grad school in English, is one of these people.) However, I linked to this for the paragraph about how being an English major warps your fragile little mind to where any mention of water equals an upcoming sex scene to you. Hah!
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
Postponing the breakup so he won't die alone.
The amusing line is the bit about not wanting to die a third wheel while some couple wants privacy. Uh-huh.
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
It doesn't discriminate to only hire men to play Santa
The amusing part is at the bottom, where the store owner says people will be terrified at a hairy, big-bellied, no-breasted woman.
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
Suggestions to fix movie shortcomings.
My favorite one is the one for Serendipity involving bricks being dropped on heads.
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
More naked Spike from now on on Buffy!
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
A college for homeschoolers
Apparently "being asked to question a lot of things" at somewhere like Columbia is a very bad thing for the folks that go here. When you ask about diversity, the standard answer is "We're not all Republicans. There's some libertarians too." Um. Right.
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
Antarctic money.
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
A Nobel prize winner's funny account of getting the award
Also, how he didn't help a princess get to go to school in New York.
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
Retaliate. Give 'em Booze and Porn.
The adventures of the dude with the signs.
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
Why pardoning the presidential turkeys is all a big scam.
Basically, they're so fat by the time they're pardoned that they can't live past a few months. So why even bother, then?
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
Watch out- they can really detect lies now...
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
Annual Orgasm Day
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
Artist creates piece daring people to steal $100, they do, he gets whiny that it got defaced.
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
Young convicts as advice writers
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
Famous writers who live in SF
I know it doesn't sound totally fascinating to see that line, but it's pretty interesting.
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
Michael Jackson's skin got darkened for television
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
The Facts of Life Reunion Recap
I got forced to watch this weeks ago and oh good god, it was BAD BAD BAD. But hey, at least I couldn't stop laughing at the badness.
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
Explanation
So where the hell have I been for awhile, you ask? Well, like about everyone else in the world these days, I got laid off, and thus took a week off out of town to get some distraction. While I'll probably go out of town for a week or two again around Christmas (and am unlikely to update from the parents' house), for the time being I'm here, I have nothing else to do, and a ton of links to put up! Have fun!
Saturday, November 24, 2001
In America, you can't speak up against the sponsor.
Saturday, November 24, 2001
When will entertainment magazines learn to NOT leave the voting up to the people on the Internet?
Seriously, has EW forgotten the whole People's Most Beautiful votes for Hank the Angry, Drunken Dwarf thing?
Anyway, the campaign this time is to vote for Wil, and he's been steadily at #5 every time I've checked this page. However ... who the hell are most of the rest of the people who are in the top ten right now? Call it a hunch those aren't what EW was looking for when they started this silly poll...
Saturday, November 24, 2001
Captions Blog
Saturday, November 24, 2001
Woman may not have lost imaginary husband in WTC.
The hell? I know it's National Lampoon, but it's still darned weird.
Saturday, November 24, 2001
Skin patch birth control
Saturday, November 24, 2001
Apparently, the NBA just can't find anything else better to do
They are fining players for "wearing their shorts too low." Those who hang low like to ridicule anyone who yanks theirs up a bit. Somehow, I can't stop my eyes from rolling here...
Saturday, November 24, 2001
Naked Playmate pen pal program for those in the military.
That might up enlistment...
Saturday, November 24, 2001
World's biggest billboard CAN'T BE SEEN.
Saturday, November 24, 2001
I can't believe I'm only 29 percent addicted to the Internet.
Saturday, November 24, 2001
Lucas keeps chugging along, unbeknownst to us all.
For one thing, he's again adding additional footage to the first three movies to insert them into yet another rerelease. Oh, and he's vaguely claiming he might THINK ABOUT doing a 7-8-9 after a 20-year wait. Um, RIGHT.
Saturday, November 24, 2001
They found Tourist Guy
Saturday, November 24, 2001
Okay, more Polly love:
I just wanted to call your attention to the part where she says that it's better to rip assholes into people than ignoring them. She is absolutely right.
Saturday, November 24, 2001
More on the agony that is Michael Jackson.
I really like the graphic they have for it.
Saturday, November 24, 2001
World's lamest, most inaccurate penis enlargement ad
Saturday, November 24, 2001
Snape is sexy!
Um, whatever, really ... As the author of this points out, the guy in the book is described as considerably NOT attractive (even if they did snag Alan Rickman for the part), so obviously they're er, fudging.
Saturday, November 24, 2001
Gift Exemption Voucher
I can't imagine that my family would ever go for such a thing...
Saturday, November 24, 2001
Oh gee, what a shame, I missed celebrating World Toilet Day
Saturday, November 24, 2001
Ukranian wants to change her name to Laden bin Osama.
Unlike in Brazil, looks like they can't stop her from doing this.
Saturday, November 24, 2001
Another one of those scientific studies to which I can only say DUH!
Saturday, November 24, 2001
Air Canada goes after journalist for smuggling certain objects onto planes and then writing about it.
They're insisting she sign a paper promising she'll never do that again or she won't be allowed on any of their flights.
Saturday, November 24, 2001
CPR classes don't prepare people for people being gross. News flash!
Apparently most people who take CPR classes won't actually do CPR on someone in real life because they might be covered in barf or smell gross or something. They're blaming this on the classes not preparing anyone for gross. Um...1. how are they going to do that, and 2., wouldn't you figure that the whole process in real life might be gross?
Then again, they gave my ex CPR credentials, even though he passed out at the sight of blood in the video and er, didn't exactly manage to pass the requirements. Hmmmm...
