little ms. "sweet and innocent."
Now without pictures because Tripod has started to be jerks about it.
Friday, November 9, 2001
Oh man. Government opponents used as human blood banks until they die.
Friday, November 9, 2001
A heartwarming Halloween story
Vandals who smashed a old guy's big pumpkin last year left him 20 new ones this year with a note of apology.
Friday, November 9, 2001
Library installing alarms in toilets to prevent sex.
Geeeez.
Friday, November 9, 2001
Insane Brazilian father wants to name son Osama bin Laden, country not likely to let him.
He already tried to name a kid Saddam Hussein.
Friday, November 9, 2001
Sorry I'm late, the elephant ate your homework
Teachers in Thailand are being told to ride elephants to work to save money.
Friday, November 9, 2001
A boss is putting ads in the newspaper asking a disappeared employee to return.
Ironically, he's wanted back for his skills and professionalism. Hello, the dude DITCHED work for months! When people walk out of work here and never return, we laugh at their ass and hire someone else already!
Friday, November 9, 2001
Cursed groom gives up after third wedding attempt foiled
All he knows is that fate has decided he was meant to be alone. (Note to self: do not attempt to hold a wedding.)
Friday, November 9, 2001
I wore glasses before glasses became cool
Kids now want specs like Harry Potter's.
Friday, November 9, 2001
Women fear to order sexily-named drinks at TGI Friday's.
I can't say the same for the pub I hang out at, where my friends order Sex on the Beach fairly often.
Friday, November 9, 2001
Sept. 11, the musical.
I don't want this film to end on a downer, it's bad for box office.
Friday, November 9, 2001
Screen crawling text sucks.
Friday, November 9, 2001
Enterprise spoilers
Friday, November 9, 2001
Just because babies play with boxes doesn't mean that's an appropriate present for Christmas.
Friday, November 9, 2001
That's why they call it the world's oldest profession, I guess...
A new mayor in Taipei was embarrassed that his police were running call-girl rings and the like and vowed to drive out the sex industry. Alas, after a month he has given up.
Friday, November 9, 2001
Under Sedation Live's first unofficial web site!
It's a good one too, and even goes into brief summaries of some shows. Yes, I got quoted on it.
Friday, November 9, 2001
From the people who brought you Weeeeee!
They have two other disturbing songs.
Friday, November 9, 2001
I know everyone's linked to that vagina costume story before, but I insisted on waiting until I had a picture.
Friday, November 9, 2001
The name game.
I like some of these bits, such as the "Oppressed by the Patriarchy" vs. Sensitive New Age name for marriage nameswaps, the various prison names, the Mafia name...
Friday, November 9, 2001
Widow has husband's ashes sewn into her breast implants so they'll never have to part.
Man. I feel SO sorry for the next boyfriend she gets. He is gonna be grossed. OUT!
Friday, November 9, 2001
Things you swore you'd never do: the hypocrite test.
So far I've only hit 36%. But then again, I'm still young.
Friday, November 9, 2001
The only time you'll see Ellen in a dress.
And that's really all I have to say about that. Other than the swan dress may be the only time I've found Ellen funny.
Friday, November 9, 2001
The Boondocks may get on television!
Friday, November 9, 2001
No more real music on WKRP reruns
This is just sad: it costs more money to play old episodes with real music, so they've been replaced with generic or sound-alike crap, and plot references have been changed. The curious can find detailed listings of all changed songs here too.
Thursday, November 8, 2001
The feminist dilemma: how do we battle these people without supporting war?
Friday, November 2, 2001
NaNoWriMo Update #2: Getting ahead of schedule
I'm now over 6,000 words! Hooray! Also finished up chapter 1 last night and shipped it out to the mailing list along with the prologue. Am now starting chapter 2, though I don't know when that'll get done due to the party tonight and visiting/working tomorrow.
Friday, November 2, 2001
60 days in jail or one hour walking down the street as a woman.
Um, yeah. This is weird. I'd think it was more of a punishment if the men were dressed really badly as women, preferably in Frank-N-Furteresque clothing, instead of look like they blend in on the streets. But geez, cross-dressing is so common nowadays, it's hard to care.
Friday, November 2, 2001
Windaz 2000 for Aussies
I especially love "Do you want to save the changes?"
Friday, November 2, 2001
Now they want to blow up bridges. Sigh.
Friday, November 2, 2001
Looking for the world's worst erotica
So bad it's good!
Friday, November 2, 2001
Driving lessons with Acanit!
COMPLETELY HILARIOUS!
Friday, November 2, 2001
And I thought it was a bad job being OJ Simpson's handler.
Imagine what poor Michael Jackson's go through. Now he's announced that all of his songs were written by God before he was even born. Gah.
Thursday, November 1, 2001
Buffy musical to run extra-long, and there's going to eventually be a CD soundtrack!
Thursday, November 1, 2001
NaNoWriMo Update #1: I'm faster than I thought I'd be.
I'm amazed how many people really did start writing at the stroke of midnight last night. Seems like most people are either doing that or they're in college/jobless/something. I feel a bit out of it for having to go to bed early and then work all day, you know?
So I could keep up with the rest of the 3WA Joneses (we're all asking each other word totals on chat today), I got up at 5:30 and made myself write for an hour, even though I felt sluggish and really just wanted to check my e-mail and not actually, you know, like, THINK.
The average number of words per day for this to get done is about 1666 or so, and I managed to get 1719 done in an hour this morning! (Two years of speed-writing in journalism kicked in big time!) I'm so proud of myself. Maybe I won't have so much of a problem getting this done after all. Though since Friday and Saturday are probably going to be a wash, writingwise, I should really just get a lot ahead tonight. After watching Survivor, of course ;P
So far I've written a prologue and am a few pages into chapter one. Which may be sent out at the end of tonight if I continue to be Speedy Writezales, or later if well, I don't.
Thursday, November 1, 2001
Feelin' on Your Booty deserves a Nobel Prize in the field of Booty
I realize this sounds silly, but it's a truly funny column. The dude is apparently from Livermore too (no, I didn't know him, but sounds like he was a grade behind me and probably at The Other School), which explains a LOT.
Thursday, November 1, 2001
I'm feeling scared again.
The FAA is banning flights for a week that come around nuclear sites, including the one in my hometown. Yikes.
Thursday, November 1, 2001
Same song, different and more explicit verse
Last year or so I went to a "Sex Rules" talk by this one woman, Maria Falzone (you may want to use the search for this one, I may have linked to it at some point). Though her last name's not in the above link, it sounds like the same woman spoke here. However, sounds like she got a lot more down and dirty than she got at UCD. I wonder why?
Thursday, November 1, 2001
Maybe the pissiest-sounding restaurant review I've ever seen.
It's like 85% of the review is whining about how he shouldn't have to be interim restaurant critic (I thought they had another restaurant critic there?) and how it sucks and how bored of it he is. Um, yeah, way to help find a replacement there.
Thursday, November 1, 2001
Life as a white-looking biracial woman
This was an interesting one. I'm tempted to check what books her sister's written.
Thursday, November 1, 2001
National Day of Shame
This lawyer in New Zealand wants all men to spend Father' s Day feeling shameful, apologizing for men that are child molesters, and calling for them to stop molesting. Apparently she seems to think it's fine to make the whole gender feel bad, regardless of what they actually didn't do. I can't imagine a lot of guys are really going for this. Why can't they condemn child molesters without having to apologize for them?
Thursday, November 1, 2001
Hooking from a dorm room, going down, down, down...
Thursday, November 1, 2001
Peter Jennings is okay with the idea of Bush being booed.
Thursday, November 1, 2001
Please put down your copy of “So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish” and BACK AWAY FROM IT RIGHT NOW!
Thursday, November 1, 2001
Celebrities without makeup
Christina Applegate: looks like a 40-year-old jogger about to barf. Really.
Pamela Anderson: looks like she’s in an old single mom movie, like Harper Valley PTA or something.
Cameron Diaz and Alicia Silverstone: look about the same as ever.
Britney: looks more like her actual age (and oddly, like Emily from GH/Janice on Buffy).
Courtney Cox: much more freckly up close and in person.
Emma Thompson...hell, she always looks like that. Where did they dig up a glammed brunette photo of her?
Michael Jackson: Without makeup my ass. This will make you vomit.
Goldie: actually looks about sixty. How sad.
Thursday, November 1, 2001
Hope for the Mole
Thursday, November 1, 2001
Basil's gastric bypass surgery diary
Interesting how I was so gacked out by the stories about the sisters-in-law getting them done in the SacBee, and yet was not gacked out by this one.
Thursday, November 1, 2001
Imperial Rhapsody
He's just a farmboy, from a dead family...
George Lucas isn't thrilled to see Star Wars porn.
Thursday, November 1, 2001
Drugging mice and throwing them a rave.
I'm not kidding. Scientists did this.
Thursday, November 1, 2001
This guy's not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, is he?
Oh yeah, I'll marry some random Australian chick just to say I got married in Vegas, never see her again, and screw up my life! Yeah, baby! How drunk was he?
Thursday, November 1, 2001
Confessions of a call girl's friend.
Sad but interesting.
Thursday, November 1, 2001
The religious right keep on embarrassing themselves.
They'll probably never die out, but there may be a slight popularly wane. Or something.
Wednesday, October 31, 2001
Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention this.
For those of you who haven't scrolled down on the left hand side of this page, I've created a mailing list for my NaNoWriMo novel. Anyone who wants to read it for whatever reason in serial form (chapters sent out um, whenever they get done) can sign up and get it via e-mail. For those wondering what the plot is about, it's fantasy, featuring yet another chick chosen for magical purposes- yes, I do watch Buffy too much-, only she's really um, not so suited for the job. The anti-perfect Mary Sue, if you will (now you know where that link came from). Is it based on me? Well, somewhat. At least, I'm starting that way on some things, mainly snarkyass attitude, her wearing glasses and for plot purposes that will soon be revealed, the lead has my birthday. The idea from this comes from getting this book for my birthday, reading the entry for mine, and thinking "Holy crap!" Why did I think that, you ask? You'll have to read and find out... In the event you sign up for it after the first chapter goes out (I don't know when- somewhere between Thursday and Sunday, I'd guess) and want old chapters, let me know and I'll e-mail them to you.
Wish me luck! (I'll need it)
Wednesday, October 31, 2001
The worst haunted house
Actually, no, that's not the worst. This one and this one are. It ticks me off that these religious nutbars set up a WTC haunted house! And as for the STD one, ew. Ew ew ew ew ew.
A stuffed Cthulhu. I don't know why someone would want this, but here ya go if you do.
Halloween costumes, Alaska-style. For some things I obviously missed the joke (being California), but the nudity and the er, outhousy one.
Dressing up this year at work has been interestingly funny. For example, I'm a vampire this year (yes, I watch too much Buffy), and I put on some fake tattoos, one with a lip print (which I drew fangs on) and some word tattoos that said "only the good die young." My boss was quite amused by it. Then I realized that I'd be in trouble if anyone decided to show up in person to give me an obituary, so she said she'd go collect them for me if that happened. Wouldn't you know that TODAY that would happen?
I just heard the French maid asking if her butt was hanging out of the outfit.
As for those of us who dressed up, we seem to fall into two categories: creatures of the night and twins. This woman (5 feet tall) dressed up like this guy, who's 6'5. She's got a wig and sideburns on and is running around in his alma mater shirt. He came in as the long-lost Fourth Amigo and seemed quite pleased to check out her outfit. Likewise, our normally brunette photographer dyed his hair blonde, spiked it and is wearing a football jersey to go as someone on this page (annoyingly, Google won't pick up his pic separately, but you'll know who I mean). The original just walked in, saw him, and turned bright red and said "No, no, no, no...." He tried to er, have some influence on the final costume contest vote, but the fake won by a landslide. Fortunately, he'll share the winnings.
Wednesday, October 31, 2001
Here's your Halloween scare...
Tom and Penelope are supposedly engaged. However, given the source I found this from (mailing list), I would say there are doubts at this being truthful. But what the hell, it's Halloween. I'd vote that this may be a "Halloween fool," given comments like Penelope's thinking of children. Hello, haven't you paid attention to the whole Tom's sterile thing?
Wednesday, October 31, 2001
There won't be a fourth slayer on Buffy.
Again, because they can't get Faith on the show ever again to kill her off. What, like they couldn't do it offscreen and say she got killed in a prison fight?
Wednesday, October 31, 2001
The Work Nickname Generator
I'm still baffled how I ended up with "one more and then I'm going home."
Wednesday, October 31, 2001
Fear of mail, by the Onion.
Wednesday, October 31, 2001
Shatner was actually nice! Wow, there's a shocker.
Wednesday, October 31, 2001
Childhood trauma with electric toothbrushes
Man! The one that amazes me is the mother who claimed that someone else stole the six-year-old's toothbrush.
Wednesday, October 31, 2001
Treating neurological diseases with formerly cancerous cells from weird tumors?
And apparently, it even works. Go figure.
Tuesday, October 30, 2001
I wouldn't count on seeing Toy Story 3 if I were you.
Tuesday, October 30, 2001
Time to get back to normal... BUT WATCH OUT!
Tuesday, October 30, 2001
More awful plastic costumes!
The first one I saw was the Morticia Addams costume, and I didn't even recognize that as her! Oy!
Tuesday, October 30, 2001
Niles dresses up as Dad for Halloween!
Tuesday, October 30, 2001
Writing in real time
Kinda going with the NaNoWriMo theme of the month, I guess, Robert Olen Butler's teaching a writing class and he's going to write a novel that can be seen online for three weeks (one day off a week), based on a random postcard idea thingie. He'll also answer e-mailed questions at the end of broadcasts. Pretty funky idea.
Tuesday, October 30, 2001
Tamponhenge
About what it sounds like.
Tuesday, October 30, 2001
Your Peanuts personality
Hey, I'm Snoopy!
The world's biggest Peanuts fan sits behind me, and I thought about sending him this link until I realized how bimbo-teen-girly this site is. But hey, others here may be easily amused.
Tuesday, October 30, 2001
A football team is employing a witch to help them win games.
Interestingly enough, it seems to be working!
Tuesday, October 30, 2001
You knew those Manolo Blahnik shoes were dangerous!
His pair of titanium-heeled sandals have too sharp heels, and can punch straight through carpet or any shoe stood on. I have to say that I've always been baffled why anyone would pay so much money for shoes that you can barely walk in and hurt YOU to wear, but this takes the cake.
From a design point of view, they're very beautiful. Um, yeah. Blahnik strikes me as one of those guys who pays zero attention to purpose or functionality in design. Whatever.
Tuesday, October 30, 2001
We see 4,000 instructions, ads and rules, and ignore most of them.
Tuesday, October 30, 2001
We have seen the enemy, and he can't spell.
Gays post Sept. 11. Among other issues, including the “f-- bomb” written on the plane pic that “nobody was supposed to see.” Um, right.
Tuesday, October 30, 2001
Fantasy Island as a reality show.
Tuesday, October 30, 2001
A collection of articles written on Legos
From the business, adult and child perspective.
More Harry Potter Lego!
