little ms. "sweet and innocent."
Now without pictures because Tripod has started to be jerks about it.
Monday, October 29, 2001
Couple can't get pregnant; turns out they were having anal sex all along.
See, Dubya? THIS is why we need sex education! It's for the children! Really!
Monday, October 29, 2001
Nudists gossip about each other's bodies after all.
Monday, October 29, 2001
Michael of Love Cruise answers questions after the show, much more less bitter than previously.
Monday, October 29, 2001
The Runner goes on hiatus before even airing! Yay!
Monday, October 29, 2001
Amy the Rat returns, Riley, Oz and Faith probably never will (especially the latter)
Skip will return also.
Apparently my Buffy dream date is Giles. Hmmmmm. Not bad.
Monday, October 29, 2001
Remember the girl with the anthraxed finger flipping the bird at Osama?
Now see it for yourself!
Monday, October 29, 2001
This would explain my inability to find things on the web...
infonesia and internesia.
Monday, October 29, 2001
Spending your 15th anniversary on a conjugal visit with your daughter.
Monday, October 29, 2001
The Amazing Race Drinking Game
Monday, October 29, 2001
You go, Tom Tomorrow!
Monday, October 29, 2001
Journalists: watch your back in LA.
This is just scary. A SN&R guy was writing an article on security in airports. While the people in the Sac airport are fine and dandy, the LA security guys go ballistic, make him delete his pictures, kick him off his plane and forbid him from making any flights on that airline, take away his notes and make him sit for hours. Really, "I don't know what you're doing, but you're going to stop doing it!" makes no sense!!!!
Protestors weren't allowed near Bush when he was in Sacramento.
Monday, October 29, 2001
Don't microwave your mail.
And while we're on the same subject, turns out ironing mail doesn't work, boiling does.
Monday, October 29, 2001
The probable official end of the Split...I mean, Spice Girls.
Then again, since most of them got pregnant and into their "solo careers", they were pretty much dead anyway. Even the fan club has closed up.
And what is WITH that photo of Scary with the phones?
Monday, October 29, 2001
She wanted to re-enlist, then found out she was pregnant.
Meanwhile, the war against sex marches on.
Monday, October 29, 2001
Jerry Springer: The Opera. Even I'd go to that one.
Monday, October 29, 2001
Right-handers with a lefty relative may have better memory in some areas than others.
Monday, October 29, 2001
We could get away with civil unions in California!
I wish someone would shut up Mr. Lopez here, though.
Monday, October 29, 2001
Komodo dragon breaks its own leg, Phil Bronstein wishes it well, swears he has an alibi.
Monday, October 29, 2001
Why must all movie wives be obsessed with when the husband doesn't come home for dinner?
Amen, Roger. What boringness.
Monday, October 29, 2001
A trip through the Cosmo.
It's really pretty sad and scary.
Monday, October 29, 2001
The many, the proud, the fifth-string football players at UCD.
It's really pretty funny.
Monday, October 29, 2001
Has anyone ever bought anything from a telemarketer?
Are you a freak? (Dedicated to my roommate, who is currently wearing a "Superfreak" shirt.)
The world's oldest profession: paying people to listen to you talk. Featuring the trauma of Dr. Alan Grant, who was CHASED BY DINOSAURS. (Twice by now.)
I just gotta say that I enjoy finding a Mormon dude who's that snarky.
Monday, October 29, 2001
98-99% of world's creatures nonmonogamous.
Monday, October 29, 2001
Wil on Slashdot
All you wanted to know about those sliding doors and alt.wesley.crusher.die.die.die.
Monday, October 29, 2001
Doesn't Carl look scarily like Alec Baldwin in this photo?
Predictably, the dentist wants to go into show biz. Sigh.
Kelly says Tom's sexist.
Monday, October 29, 2001
How'd you like to write on elephant shit?
Monday, October 29, 2001
What's the perfect married couple like?
Their kids became priests and a nun, and they stopped having sex for the last 26 years. Sounds fun at their house.
Monday, October 29, 2001
Teacher taught kids to flip the bird
Monday, October 29, 2001
Artificial sperm!
No need for men, as long as you only want to birth girls.
Monday, October 29, 2001
There's a threat, but we're not going to tell you what it is, but STAY ON HIGH ALERT ANYWAY!
Stay on alert for WHAT? That's real helpful. Just be paranoid for the week? Now I am really wigging out about that horoscope below...
Monday, October 29, 2001
Phoons
They're a fake running pose. They are apparently everywhere.
Monday, October 29, 2001
I must be insane. That's the only explanation for my signing up for this at the last minute...
Yeah, I caved in and signed up for NaNoWriMo like the rest of the Internet, it seems... I am not great at fiction, I have skipped doing personal writing for months and months, I have been trying to restrain myself from signing up for this, and the restraint lost.
Anyway. I bet you read that and thought "Hiatus, right? Oh crap."
NO! NO HIATUS! I'll just er, try to restrain myself to doing my websurfing at work (which, let's face it, most of which I already do here while waiting for phone calls) and do updates from there. In other words, pretty much like normal, right? Hopefully, anyway. I may add some updates as to how the crappy probably autobiographical novel is going, or at least let you know when I quit out of boredom to watch Buffy reruns over and over and over, or write it along these guidelines.
Monday, October 29, 2001
I love this advertising Hissyfit
Which points out nicely that the reason why the net is going down isn't because internet advertising doesn't work, it's because internet advertising has proved that advertising in general might not work- who buys a Mitsubishi after seeing a commercial for it? Meanwhile, the X10 people are bound to discover that despite saturating the net with ads, they've sold twelve cameras.
Monday, October 29, 2001
Uncle Bob doesn't like no more daylight savings time either.
I had much the same experience as he had- I just end up waking up even EARLIER and having that screw with the already-screwed body clock even more. 4:30 a.m. wakeup today, anyone?
Monday, October 29, 2001
Using the scientific method to see if a girl likes you.
Monday, October 29, 2001
Don't you just love scary horoscopes for Halloween?
In this case, I don't, since this one indicates the world's going to go berserk again.* Joy oh joy. My own horoscope (Taurus) is even more depressing. Right, like I need MORE "relationships going through changes" and "stress concerning a family member" and "focus on health care" (i.e. I have none right now) and money. Maybe I should call in sick this week and hide under the bed at home.
* Do I really think anything's going to happen? Probably not. But man, I feel like I'm reading horoscopes written by the divination teacher at Hogwarts, where you get a better grade if you predict your own death every week.
Monday, October 29, 2001
More ideas for movies based on songs
My personal favorite: the Milli Vanilli story, which reveals that they're really Jeff Foxworthy and Kirk Cameron.
Monday, October 29, 2001
Carolyn Hax rocks the house.
I love what she said to this woman whining about not being able to bring "guests" to weddings and how the weddings should all be about fixing her up or something. Gah.
Monday, October 29, 2001
For all your horror finding needs!
And speaking of true horror, thanks go to Gretchen of 3WA for finding L(link fixed now) Gold Teeth. These are the UGLIEST, scariest things you will see this Halloween, I kid you not. Also from RobynLynn, the worst Halloween costumes ever.
Ranking Halloween candies.
This school only allows patriotic costumes at Halloween. What a bummer.
Monday, October 29, 2001
Razorblade and apple guy denies switch to anthrax this Halloween
Also:
OJ to train ground troops, because nobody knows how to dodge bullets better!
U.S. to halt bombing during holy month of Harry Potter movie, "devoted Potter fans now outnumber the population of Earth."
Monday, October 29, 2001
Businessman last saw top of his desk in 1958.
He has 80 cubic feet of paper on it. Man, do I feel better about mine now!
Monday, October 29, 2001
Interview with an expert on alternative toilets.
Two interesting facts:
1. She has a collection of fake turds on her computer.
2. The Queen of England apparently cannot tolerate "splashback."
Monday, October 29, 2001
Kenneth Branagh to play Lockhart in next Harry Potter movie
Hm. While he does seem a bit old for the part, I always imagined Lockhart as a blonde. Be funny to see him all shallow...
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
It may be possible to halt the progress of or reverse MS!
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
Flipping the bird to Osama with her anthraxed finger
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
Historical Facts in the World of Sex
Also for your edification, the complete guide to unlawful carnal knowledge for fantasy role-playing games.
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
On geeks. This is really good.
Accompanying this link is Nowhere Girl.
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
The King of Pop has been dethroned.
Man. Talk about the total public embarrassment factor when people are too embarrassed to perform with your freaky ass. They wouldn't even let him on the telethon! However, the makers of Men in Black 2 still love him, as they cast him in the movie. (Note how often they say that he was NOT NOT NOT cast as an alien!)
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
The infamous people on the Weakest Link were REALLY stupid!
I am so bummed I forgot about this! Apparently (a) they did actually go through whole rounds without correctly answering one question, (b) didn't notice this and tried to bank money regardless, and (c) one of them (didn't say who) never ever answered one right. Must have been hilarious to watch!
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
People won't ride in elevator with man who's been stuck in them 40 times.
Yes, he now tends to stick to taking the stairs.
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
Swaziland king will obey his own law and not boink his tasseled fiancee.
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
How to tone down violent prisoners? Threaten to call their mommies.
Seriously.
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
Jesse throws hissy fits
Not only is Jesse Ventura not releasing his schedule to the media any more, he's declared full-on war, trying to get people to boycott print and TV and listen to talk radio (not like he's biased on that one). Um, yeah. Dumb move, dude. Look, you're the freaking governor- there's no way you can avoid having to deal with the press! Believe me, it's better to work with them than against them for more accuracy, especially when they HAVE to write about you, whether they hear from you or not. Pissed-off press doesn't treat you kindly :P
Hardly any newspaper reporters are normal!
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
Truth serum doesn't work.
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
Living without mobile phones causes impotence
I wasn't sure whether or not to stick this in the Halloween section with the cell phones or in the "those wacky Italians" section with the kid with the traffic ticket. Eh, what the hell.
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
So much for Oprah
Oh, what a dilemma for poor author Jonathan Franzen, who was selected as one of the hallowed members of the holy revered Oprah's Book Club. On the one hand, the big old O is a trip to major sales to sheeplike women and bucks, bucks, bucks. On the other hand, it's a big ol' branding that your book generally appeals to sheeplike women, which in more intellectual circles doesn't say much for you. Oprah, hearing of his issues, which were apparently spewed across several media outlets, then decided to cancel dinner with him.
I'm not sure what to think about this one. It may be pretty clever of him to mooch the money by not turning her down like he kinda wanted to, and to be able to get at least SOME of his books printed without the Seal of O(TM), while bitching enough so that maybe he might not lose his indie cred. It may be just tacky of him to badmouth her so much, since it sounds like he did want to do the dinner. It may be tacky of her to not want to address his issues at all on TV unless he's 100% happy to be anointed by the O.
Or maybe I'm just biased because Oprah pisses me off and my mother worships her as a goddess. Who knows.
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
The truth about Marilyn Monroe's dress size
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
Patriotism is Whitney's new natural high.
Yes, they are trying to be serious.
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
Fearing anthrax in your mail? Just steam iron it!
This link is dedicated to Claire's mother.
What should I do if I see a white powdery substance in an envelope? Very funny!
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
How scared do you want to be? What are you willin to forsake?
Once again, Mark Morford appears to be really on a roll with his post-Sept. 11 stuff.
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
Saddam Hussein returns e-mail, Bush doesn't.
This is so bizarre.
Thursday, October 18, 2001
Creative nonfiction writers
are apparently becoming more popular, mixing in fictional techniques with their real lives (and in some cases at least making stuff up still). This is a really good article on the whole thing, which I found interesting because this is the kind of thing I go for nowadays in my own work. Taking creative nonfiction in college was a blast.
Thursday, October 18, 2001
Psychic dude predicts terrorist attack in Northern California.
Joy.
Thursday, October 18, 2001
Our own terrorists *sigh*
Thursday, October 18, 2001
Paper airplanes!
Thursday, October 18, 2001
Reviews of Narcissus in Chains are in....
I like how the above one and this one are written, but the crucial thing you should read is this one. As the reviewer put it, this one forever alters the world as we've come to know it.
I don't hate the book. If I had to pick one of hers as the worst of the bunch, I'd pick this one, but mainly because there are plot holes that need some fixing muchly, but other events in it, while not my cup of tea, do, I think, fit in with where Anita and Richard have been going in the later end of the series. (The stuff I read about and wrote about in the last weblog? Yup, that happened.) Most people, however, ABSOLUTELY HATE IT WITH THE WHITE-HOT PASSION OF A THOUSAND SUNS, I kid you not. They're writing stuff like this hilarious parody (which won't make sense to you unless you've read the book, but Richard's narration here is to die for) and saying a lot worse. There's also rumors going around that the author's personal life (got divorced and remarried) has had some influence on this. The occasional comment from her kinda confirms this. This one really confirms why things have changed with regards to a certain character.
But this, however, is downright scary. The president of her fan club, who is a friend of hers, is very pissy at anyone who wonders about how her personal life might have influenced this one, and isn't really acknowledging that a lot of people were having problems with it. Since I've been reading that list, several people have said that the fan club keeps bad letters from the author. I could believe it now.
Anyway, while I'm on the subject, I'll throw in a few links:
This is a well done site that gives a rundown on all characters, possible photos for them, total plots, etc. And here is the first chapter of A Caress of Twilight.
Thursday, October 18, 2001
The world's dullest rock star interview
I love interviews like this, which are just pulling teeth because they have no opinions and don't want to say anything. Like why the hell am I even bothering to talk to you?
But what was funny about this was the accompanying column written by the poor fellow who had to do the interview (which is NOT online) saying how the record company had been plugging these guys, offering them more than one band member to talk to and all these free tickets, etc., and then um, the offer slowly declined down to one free ticket, only one band member and the one who doesn't like to talk, etc.
I hate to say it, especially since I know people there, but I really hate the school's web page redesign. It is virtually unuseable now, has hardly anything online at all, those things aren't easy to find and filled with glitches, and you can't even find out what was published in a full day's paper! *huge sigh*
Thursday, October 18, 2001
There's a new Griffin and Sabine book out...
a new trilogy in the series. For those who recall how the last one ended (Sabine writing to some strange dude named Matthew), the new one picks up from there with her writing to him and having him pick up their letters, while Matthew also writes to his psychic girlfriend who ends up writing to um, Griffin? (This is confusing.) I have to admit that this one confused me big time compared to the first series. While we at least know that Matthew and Isabella have met in person so we don't have that complication, there's a whole new level of confusingness going on.
Thursday, October 18, 2001
Take care of the sperm tail and you might have a nonhormonal birth control for both genders!
Thursday, October 18, 2001
Wigstock
As far as I'm concerned, this is Sars's best one ever. (And yes, it did take me over a week to link to it. How lagging am I?) It's all about you jerky men who make women think you care, make them think that you'd never bail on them, and then you do. I am sick of finding out that someone I thought was decent was an asshole myself. It even gets into the self-doubt thing. Amazing. Regina and Sars, I wuv you.
Thursday, October 18, 2001
Which member of the Buffy Scooby Gang are you?
I still don't get how I came up with Xander when I'm much more of a Willow.
Bleah, more Darla.
Charisma Carpenter can't pick her own hairdo. I find it interesting that people have been bitching about her hair on Mighty Big TV all year long, and was surprised to see that the network PTB insist that it be short, regardless of fan votes.
WB will take no more show pitches from Fox after the Buffy incident. *sigh*
This Angel episode was totally fucking hilarious in some parts! Between "I love you so much I almost forgot to brood", "You think I'm fat?" and "I could soothe your ass off, pal!", I'm so wishing I'd taped it.
Thursday, October 18, 2001
Haunted places in the US
Did you know mobile phones killed ghosts?
Thursday, October 18, 2001
Emmys rescheduled, just in a smaller theater.
Does anyone care about the Emmys even in normal circumstances?
Thursday, October 18, 2001
This gives me the creeps.
A car that smiles, frowns, CRIES, reads how stressed you are and turns colors to show emotions. Yikes. More on the car.
Thursday, October 18, 2001
Man who had sex change operation wants to be a man again
Apparently she can't have a relationship because her organs don't work properly (um, duh) and got dumped. Completely missing the point that her original functioning male genitalia has been completely scrapped by now, and she won't function even more as a man!
Thursday, October 18, 2001
We probably won't find out who the Mole is. Waaah.
Thursday, October 18, 2001
Oh man. Women who work the graveyard shift MUCH more likely to get breast cancer.
How freaky and depressing.
Thursday, October 18, 2001
Have you people managed to miss seeing every military movie EVER?
A bunch of enlisted military personnel are now seeking conscientious objector status or honorable discharges, claiming they were misled by recruiters to think that the military was all about college money and job training.
This recruiter says that ordinarily he hears people saying that they're looking for college money.
Now. Come. ON. While yeah, it's pretty obvious that recruiters these days have really pushed the career/college angle a LOT over the whole you're-gonna-HAVE-to-kill-people thing, are you totally stupid to think that the killing thing will never come up?! I don't want to kill people but need money, I don't join up. It's that simple. If you're okay with killing people and need some college funds, go right ahead. You can't say you didn't have any clue whatsoever what you were getting into! Those guns aren't for fun!
Thursday, October 18, 2001
Stuffed rabbit fights real rabbit and wins(?!)
Thursday, October 18, 2001
St. Petersburg* Trojans finally get fed up with condom jokes, change name.
All I can say is, what took them so long?
I'm having a flashback to watching All My Children years ago when one woman was trying to get knocked up and hiding the husband's condoms, and he was running around going "Where are my Spartans?"
* Yes, it's been corrected, Sara, your USC Trojans still stand proud with their condomness. But man, whoever heard of St. Petersburg?
Thursday, October 18, 2001
Ah, irony
The adventures of Flagee and Ribbon - Boondocks strikes again!
Thursday, October 18, 2001
Once again, nobody wants to pay for websites.
Thursday, October 18, 2001
$5 artwork from vending machines.
Huh. Who comes up with these things?
Thursday, October 18, 2001
A dog brothel.
Do I really need to comment?
Thursday, October 18, 2001
All I want to know is, how does a calculator cause injury?
You can't get your fingers caught in the buttons. Maybe someone dropped or threw it? 37 times?
Thursday, October 18, 2001
Spoiled children more likely to have brilliant working careers
Well, whoopee for me, then!
Thursday, October 18, 2001
Oh lord.
The RIAA wants to be able to hack into your computer and delete your mp3's, and tried to put this into the anti-terrorism bill. AIEE! So wrong!
Thursday, October 18, 2001
There's even MORE Jar Jar on the Star Wars 1 DVD
GAH. GAH. GAH. GAH.
On a similar note, Obi-Wan and Amidala got married?!
Thursday, October 18, 2001
I presume those into submission will enjoy this, but I'm rather baffled
In the UK, you can enroll your cell phone in the program and they'll message you to do random weird behaviors at random times. Very strange.
Thursday, October 18, 2001
We have found Mr. Blue's child, and he is...
by some coincidink, someone who already works at Salon. Though I must say so far that I'm pretty impressed by what he's done, and like his philosophy on doing an advice column. He's really right on as to what the job entails and what people are looking for.
Though I do think I must respectfully disagree with his "give him as much space as you want to give him" advice. While that's a really nice idea, I've tried it. Boy, did it backfire. It's really the person who WANTS the space who gets to determine how much of it they want, not the one who's getting dumped on. Trying to be in their lives more than they want just gets ugly.
Thursday, October 18, 2001
Cheap housing in San Francisco?! How can this be?
One artist built himself a little house complete with asphalt lawn in a pay parking lot (only $7/day!). Predictably, he got booted out after a few days, but it looks like he had a lot of fun in the meantime.
Wednesday, October 17, 2001
Bob Hope not being told about the war
They've been showing him news from 1976 and he hasn't noticed. Okay, so this is an Onion spoof, but I hope they really haven't told him about it. That's too scary a thought.
I'd react calmly to this news, but I'm a journalist.
Wednesday, October 17, 2001
Won't you take me to funky cows?
Wednesday, October 17, 2001
They've come out with a disposable strip to detect Rophynol in drinks in the UK!
They're still working on detecting GHB, though.
Wednesday, October 17, 2001
Squirrel, gonads and strife! Weeeeeeeeeeeee!
I have no idea what this is. It's similar to that weird Margaret Thatcher and the bunny thing a few weeks ago.
Wednesday, October 17, 2001
How does a 2-year-old get a speeding ticket when he only drives a plastic tractor?
While the Italian authorities admit they er, might have made a mistake, the family will still be forced to pay the fine "and seek compensation later." The hell?
Wednesday, October 17, 2001
He got fired for his weblog.
So did he. I'd be worried if I thought the people at my paper went online much. But then again, I don't think I say anything offensive...
Wednesday, October 17, 2001
The wonderbum
Ugh. But hey, that'll get me a lot of hits :P
Wednesday, October 17, 2001
Don't you love this bathroom door?
Wednesday, October 17, 2001
Shatner farts on film!
Oh, and he had NO idea that some people on cast really didn't like him. Reminds me of all the WILLIAM FUCKING SHATNER stories I've read at Wil's (which I think I already linked to here in the past).
Jolene Blalock claims that Spock was the real sex symbol.
There's a Klingon programming language. Okay geeks, THIS is where you have GONE TOO FAR.
Speaking of... here's Wil Wheaton's geek code. Someone over there provided the geek code translator, and I was amused by his section on Star Trek. Apparently his tendencies on the issue range from "it's the best show around, but those people at the conventions are kooks and I'd never go to one" (Um, RIGHT! Hah!) to "it's just another TV show, getting paid for it." Which, interestingly enough, few geeks actually did. What a mix of things...
I second that emotion.
Wednesday, October 17, 2001
Woman conceives triplets while ALREADY pregnant with another baby!
That is so bizarre! Can you imagine being pregnant for a whole year, with (probably) 2 C-sections? Yuckola!
Wednesday, October 17, 2001
Well, here's a way to end a meeting...
A frustrated school board president sent around an joke e-mail suggesting that the most talkative board members be shot. Apparently meetings with these two involved go for about 8 hours. I can tell you that those of us in Davis can so feel this pain. Our City Council meetings go over 8 hours about every single week, even till after three in the morning.
Wednesday, October 17, 2001
Ads now being shown in subway tunnels.
Though I have to admit that flickering light billboards that look animated is more interesting than looking out at dark in the BART tunnels.
Wednesday, October 17, 2001
T-Rex: badass of the dinosaur days? Nope, a diseased bag o' misery, it seems.
