little ms. "sweet and innocent."

Thursday, October 3, 2002
Sorority Life Girls tell all... and they're not happy.
It just cracks me up that these chicks are claiming they thought MTV would focus on their scholarship and service aspects instead of drinking and partying. Hello, this is the same network that does all the spring break stuff every year! If you think they want to watch you doing community service instead of getting tanked at the Grad, you're just fooling yourself.

Thursday, October 3, 2002
Househusbands
Apparently, a fairly large amount of "senior women" in business have househusbands now. While on the one hand, good for them, on the other hand, this article kind of creeps me out. It gives me the impression that apparently nobody of either gender can make it Big Time unless somebody stays at home to do the laundry and cooking. Yikes. Not to mention rather depressing.

Thursday, October 3, 2002
Okay, Gray, you can have my vote back.
Phewie. Glad somebody's doing this.

Thursday, October 3, 2002
People who wear glasses instead of contacts are regarded as ugly and can't get dates.
Yeah, like I haven't heard this approximately 98 billion times. Excuse me while I go out and shoot myself.

Thursday, October 3, 2002
A gentleman should be well versed in profanity.

Thursday, October 3, 2002
There must be some part of the body that is predictive of penile length...the search continues.
As they put it on FARK, "cure for cancer not expected for 10 billion years."

Thursday, October 3, 2002
The weirdo quiz

Thursday, October 3, 2002
Dwarf tossin'

Thursday, October 3, 2002
Says God
This ROCKS. Rocks, rocks, rocks. If you get kind of annoyed or worse by those billboards, read this. Sample remark: "I'm flattered you liked my book so much. Now why not read something new?"

Thursday, October 3, 2002
THAT's what won a comics contest?
And I was already weeping for the future of newspaper comics...

Thursday, October 3, 2002
Living in a woman's body, sleeping in a boob
Kind of like what Desire lives in in the Sandman comics...

Thursday, October 3, 2002
More ugly wedding gowns
Let's get married on Friday the 13th! Or do it Jedi-style!

Thursday, October 3, 2002
How do you get a degree in surfing?

Thursday, October 3, 2002
I know you wanna be a fame whore, but isn't this going way, way too far?
I can't imagine why someone would be that crazed or that stupid to sign away their rights to their name, voice, appearance and life history, forever, just to be on some stupid short-lived, short-rememebered TV show. Especially when the people you sign it all away to can do whatever they want with the information. If they want to say "Kelly Clarkson is the biggest whore in America and she's had 12 abortions and roasts kittens in her spare time," they can do it, apparently. OWCH. Owch, ouch, owwww.

Thursday, October 3, 2002
Alien abduction can be good for you!

Thursday, October 3, 2002
Build Yer Own Language
pweorheof oejfoejfoehgo...

Or build your own world to go with it.

Thursday, October 3, 2002
Would you believe that this is supposed to be the funniest joke in the world?
(Don't die laughing.) I kind of like the Belgian joke, though.

Thursday, October 3, 2002
Hef wants less naked people in Playboy, more people reading it for the articles.
Is this a joke?

*snort* *snicker*

Note that this is accompanied by a picture of some girl with huge half-bared hooters.

Thursday, October 3, 2002
Mom's personality chooses the sex of the baby.
Interesting...

Thursday, October 3, 2002
Live on a boat city!
I wanna! I wanna!

Sunday, August 11, 2002
Cavalcade of Bad Bridal Fashion
Yes, I'm ripping off Going Bridal for some links lately, because Sara's creations are brilliant and wickedly amusing.

I especially am loving the link she found recently with the Japanese scary wedding dresses. (Is it sick of me to *kinda* want the cartoon dress on the cover? I don't even know WHY, I just want to hang it on my wall. Then again, half my room looks like I decorated during an acid trip, so it would fit right in...)

This page has er, my personal favorites for worst outfits. Enormous flower titties and the BIGGEST ASS BOW I've ever seen! The woman can't even sit!

Sunday, August 11, 2002
I love Cyrano, even when he's modernized.
I love this scene.

Sunday, August 11, 2002
Best Company Name Ever

Sunday, August 11, 2002
The ugliest stuff you've ever seen designed. Woof woof.

Sunday, August 11, 2002
You murderer, you! (An Angel link.)
These are kind of a hoot.

Sunday, August 11, 2002
Dreading the onslaught...
Like this guy, I'm not looking forward to the onslaught of trivializing memorial crap that'll go on next month. Makes me glad I'm not in the media any more.

"I swear to God I saw a fashion story not long ago that said something like "In light of the events of Sept. 11, ladies are finding comfort in wearing more brightly colored hats." And it went on to tell you where you could buy some of the more expensive ones."

Sunday, August 11, 2002
Now if he can just find another enormous person to use that with...

Sunday, August 11, 2002
Family newspaper, my naked ass!
"People anonymously submitted questions about things they were too embarrassed to ask publicly: How do you use a string of anal beads? How do you close the deal when you meet a couple you like? There were other questions less suitable for a family newspaper like this one."

Let me see. In this article, they're talking about all different forms of sexual practices, and the accompanying picture features naked people. Not to mention that you're an alt-weekly, and thus run all those sex ads/naughty personals/bi-curious pictures in the back of the paper. This is NOT a "family" newspaper, in any sense of the word, bucko. Hell, I'm pretty liberal on the sexual information side- my parents let me watch R-rated movies as a kid and no harm came to me- and even I wouldn't let a child read that mag. Frankly, if you're already going to mention the things you mentioned in the article, you might as well have repeated the too-dirty questions. :P

Sunday, August 11, 2002
Ouch!

Sunday, August 11, 2002
It's like the Roach Motel.
I can't believe all the stupid ways they made sure this guy didn't get parole. And I had no idea that pretty much nobody is being allowed parole at all in CA these days.

Sunday, August 11, 2002
It's good to be a slut.
On a similar note, a German running coach thinks it improves women's performances if they have sex before the race, but men start to suck if they do. Huh.

Sunday, August 11, 2002
What it's like to get recruited by the CIA.

Sunday, August 11, 2002
The Rooster got married!
For those of you who are like "What? Who's this Rooster?", The Rooster is David Sedaris's younger brother Paul. Read the link I just put before this sentence if you haven't heard of him before before reading the top link. It's even funnier when you hear it read aloud (scroll to the bottom), complete with cheesy Southern accent.That story is HILARIOUS. My personal Sedaris favorite.

Okay, listened yet? Now you know why I'm excited. Though my favorite part isn't the wedding, it's this bit:

"I called again the following evening and was told that after all that work, the chicken had been spoiled. It tasted like fish, so he threw it away and called it a night. A few hours later, having decided that spoiled chicken was better than no chicken at all, he got out of bed, stepped outside in his underpants, and proceeded to eat the leftovers directly from the garbage can.
I was mortified. "In your underpants?"
"Damned straight," he said. "Rooster ain't getting dressed up to eat no fish-assed-tasting chicken."

HAH!

Oh yeah, and not only does The Rooster have a website for his business (which I'm not linking to here because it's on the front page of the top link), he's also got youcantkilltherooster.com. And T-shirts!

Sunday, August 11, 2002
Don't Link To Us!
A weblog filled with links to companies who don't want links. HAH!

Sunday, August 11, 2002
The Rules Girls just won't stop. The horror!
I can't remember who said this, but someone remarked that this book looks like they just plugged in Internet terms into their first book like a Mad Libs just to make more money.

Sunday, August 11, 2002
Yup, those poetry contest scams have their amusing moments...
Pamie just rocks: "It takes like, five years for my novel from conception to publication, but one night of "What's this button do?" gets a poem of mine printed in under two months."

Sunday, August 11, 2002
Like a virgin, revisited.
Honestly, I think this "pretending I'm a virgin so I don't feel guilty at church during the wedding" thing is pretty stupid. If that was important to you in the first place, then er, you shouldn't have had sex then. Cutting your fiance off after you've already done the deed a bunch of times (or moved in with him, ahem, Miz Nicole) is not going to make your hymen grow back and erase your memory. Not to mention that yes, God already knows you did IT. You're not exactly being the "good girl" you think you are being. It's one thing if you did the True Love Waits thing, or if you're stopping to make it a bit more of a honeymoon blast (though from what I hear, after the wedding you might be too tired to get up to that), but this idea is just... geeez.

I like what Carolyn said over here: you're putting on a temporary role for the wedding, which you're going to scrap pretty much after it's over. What a waste of time and effort to do that, I think.

Sunday, August 11, 2002
Okay, what's with this?
According to the chick that got picked by the Batchelor, she dumped him because he didn't do the stuff for her that he said he would. Meanwhile, he issues a statement implying they're still a couple. Uh, RIGHT.

Tuesday, July 23, 2002
I know everyone's linked to the porn clerk tales already, but...
I haven't gotten around to reading them till I finally had some private time at home (which I am sorely lacking these days, thanks to the night classes I'm taking and an out-of-town boy), and oh holy God, I can't restrain myself from linking to the horror. You sit there thinking things like, "Why on earth are these people trying to make friends with the clerks?" Seriously, this girl should do a book.

This reminds me of going to one of these stores with some friends one day (oh, the things you'll do when you're all bored and out of work) and my male friend passing on to me that the male store clerk was wondering why I didn't have a boyfriend. I'm like "I so did not need to know this." Here's my favorite quotes:

"When you're scrutinizing the charming cover art of White Trash Whore the last thing you want is to be chastized by a booming voice from above."

"It looks like cheating - on the box cover the guy is bracing himself against a pool table. Dammit, if you're going to fellate yourself, do it on pure strength and flexibility or don't do it at all."

"A lot of our movies have "sex party" in the title. It was only a few months ago that I realized that this is because a lot of porn renters don't know what "orgy" means."

(And I'm sure my search engine report is going to come up with some nasty, nasty searches after I've linked to this...)

Tuesday, July 23, 2002
Yes, you can fry an egg on the sidewalk.

Tuesday, July 23, 2002
How To Marry A Movie Star

Tuesday, July 23, 2002
I can't believe she gets away with doing that.

Tuesday, July 23, 2002
An interesting article...
about people who want a clone baby, why they want one, and how they're sneaking around to attempt it.

Tuesday, July 23, 2002
Neil Gaiman did a comic in 24 hours.
It's ... strange. Not to mention it could use a larger scan or larger print in some spots. But hey, it's funky to look at.

Tuesday, July 23, 2002
I'm so tired of hearing studies like this.
So if you go back to work before your child is 9 months old, at the age of 3 he/she won't be as mentally developed as the kiddies with perfect stay-at-home moms. Which doesn't exactly sound like an enormous big deal that will ruin the rest of the child's life (hell, isn't he supposed to be learning stuff like that when he gets to school anyway?), but of course mommies will be beating the crap out of themselves about it anyway. And I'd just like to mention that GirlHacker pointed out that the article never mentions fathers at all. What if you had a sensitive stay-at-home dad? Or a sensitive dad, period? Do they have zero effect on their children at all?

Tuesday, July 23, 2002
Boy, is this depressing
If you're a female candidate, you'd better have square boring hair, wear a lot of suits, have an advanced degree, be "tough on crime" and as anti-girly, feel-your-pain as possible, and make sure you hide your husband so nobody thinks he's the candidate instead. In other words, try to act like a man.

"I don't think a woman can run for office and not get asked about abortion, it doesn't matter what she's running for. A man can run for office his entire life and not get asked about abortion."

Tuesday, July 23, 2002
You're not gonna be able to get away from popups, no matter what you do.

Tuesday, July 23, 2002
Anna Nicole has a very boring life, apparently
Why is she getting her own show again? Seriously?

Tuesday, July 23, 2002
More Buffy spoilers
(note: for all you foreigners, this is season 7 stuff.) Also here.

And even Angel spoilers! (Season 4, folks.)

Well, someone's biased as to who Buffy should date.

South Park Buffy, featuring the comic adventures of Xander the Wonder Slut!

Tuesday, July 23, 2002
The mullet as fashion.
Oh. My. God.

Tuesday, July 23, 2002
Now how sad is this?
(a) that they're only limited to 3 personal items, and (b) she's losing out on all this money because she won't take the 4th one down.

Tuesday, July 23, 2002
Well, this is disturbing.
I don't know about you, but permanent birth control or not, anything that deliberately creates scarring in a delicate area just makes me suspect it's gotta cause problems somewhere along the line.

And I'm wondering: didn't they like, ever try checking if those women were pregnant before installing the thing? How dumb is that?

Tuesday, July 23, 2002
Sara's Evil Wedding Planner
Very amusing... love the engagement task list in particular.

Bridesmaid horror stories. My favorites are the one with the folks from prison and the barfing bridesmaid.

Tuesday, July 23, 2002
I'm so sick of cooking that.
Okay, perhaps it's kinda old, but I was amused by this article about chefs getting really sick of making their most popular dishes, yet they can't get rid of them.

Friday, June 28, 2002
You become weirder the older you get
Oh god, at the rate I'm going, by sixty I'm gonna be in the loony bin.

Friday, June 28, 2002
What the hell?!
This is supposed to be okay?!

Friday, June 28, 2002
Angelina Jolie calls her baby Madness.
Gee, what a surprise there.

And yeah, Billy Bob's cheating again. What a lameass. Why doesn't he just go polyamorous already and stop getting married five different times if he's gonna do that?

Friday, June 28, 2002
Want a job?

Friday, June 28, 2002
You know what? This just isn't right.
Religion or not, it defeats the purpose of an ID card- that is, so people can identify you. How on earth is she gonna get anything that requires a picture ID when they literally can't tell if it's her or not? My guess is that a lot of places just won't take that ID.

Friday, June 28, 2002
Oooh, look. Bush can use a Big Word.
Bleech. What a tacky joke.

Friday, June 28, 2002
My likelihood of committing murder is 14 percent.
Guess y'all don't have to worry about me going homicidal too much, huh?

Friday, June 28, 2002
What's with ruining a good movie by implying that two skittish characters managed to get married and/or pregnant
You know, I never much thought about this before, I guess because I'm so used to that whole convention. She's certainly got a point, especially about Notting Hill.

Friday, June 28, 2002
Amen, Bev. (Um, in a manner of speaking, anyway.)
"This morning I learned that the man who brought the original suit to court has had to put his child in a hidden location because he and his family have received death threats.

Excuse me....Death threats? Oh I'm sure that's what's what is in the spirit of "one nation under God." I'm sure threatening a family because they don't want to lie about their beliefs is really what God wants of all of us."

I just love how a good number of those who preach about God are so ready to kill anyone who doesn't go with their particular dogma. Nice.

Friday, June 28, 2002
Why aren't women entitled to walk the streets without being molested?
I want to know the answer to that one.

Friday, June 28, 2002
Oh gee, what a surprise, Salon's about to run out of money AGAIN.
The thing that annoys me about this article? It's not even current. Camille Paglia and Garrison Keillor's (presumably fat) salaries were long ago cut from the budget.

Friday, June 28, 2002
Panda porn!
Don't you just love saying it? Panda porn, panda porn!

Friday, June 28, 2002
Gracious Big House Living
Prisoners already awaiting her arrival. "I just finished a beautiful lace and floral broom handle, based on a pattern from her magazine," said convicted murderer Donna Poier. "I think Martha would feel lucky to be sodomized by such a lovely, sweet-smelling thing."

I just love this whole Stewart scandal thing, considering that I think she's an evil biyotch coming off as a saint. Though I don't know about you, but it's squicky to think of her sex life.

Friday, June 28, 2002
The family feud never ends, it just goes on to the next generation.
For those of you wondering what Margo Howard is pissed about, here's a transcript of the Larry King show Jeanne Phillips was on. I find it odd that the last time she saw her aunt was "last October", yet she's doing the emotional crocodile tears thing on TV. But if she'd already had the show booked before then, it would have been rude of her to back out, I think.

Friday, June 28, 2002
Look! It IS a testicle!

Friday, June 28, 2002
Please tell me this isn't real.

Friday, June 28, 2002
Ew, you sicko. Writing WWJD on his penis?!
Oh yeah, and why don't you e-mail me about your sexual thoughts daily while you're at it? Ughhhhh.

Anyone know what a "nuclear pharmacist" is?

Friday, June 28, 2002
Told you TV news sucked ass.
They're not good at in-depth reporting either.

Friday, June 28, 2002
Remember the whole Mile High vs. Investco thing awhile back?
Dammit, they conformed. *sigh*

Friday, June 28, 2002
Wanna emigrate to Canada? You're gonna have to live in the boonies first...
Seems rather mean to me. How the heck are you going to find jobs out in the boonies there?

Friday, June 28, 2002
And you thought the money dance was bad...
Wanna have some fun? Click on the slideshow link in the upper right part of this page for some uuuuglly bridesmaid dresses. Pink plastic, anyone?

Krispy Kreme wedding cakes.

Marriage through the years on film. Very interesting retrospective of how it's been portrayed. (Though hello, Patrick and Demi's characters were NOT married in Ghost. Fact check much?)

When your father is the one that proposes marriage to you. Not quite as squicky as it sounds, but still bizarrely amusing.

Boy, is this ever a depressing bit: "By the time Roiphe wraps things up with a letter to her daughters regarding their future marriages, we're beginning to wonder if such a fixation on her children's marriages doesn't indicate some restlessness and ambivalence toward the path she's chosen for herself. She writes, "You can't go on just doing as you please, just following your star, just flashing your pretty wings about the universe." Oh really? Says who? Whether this is good motherly advice or good old-fashioned jealousy, this book can leave you more determined than ever to flash your pretty wings anywhere you damn well please."

Friday, June 28, 2002
Buffy spoilers

Friday, June 28, 2002
Jordan on Sorority Life is from my hometown.
Never met her, but I find it interesting that someone from Liverbore made it to TV.

Friday, June 28, 2002
Book learning means nothing when it comes to the SAT.
And you know, I'd never thought of this before. And it really is very depressing when you do think about it.

Friday, June 28, 2002
Eating live lizards cures your stomach ailments and apparently works like Viagra.
I don't even really need to comment on this one, do I?

Friday, June 28, 2002
Text messaging wedding invitation service
Yeah, I'd like to see how this would work inviting Grandma. This is so one of those things etiquette mavens would just have a heart attack about, I must say.

Friday, June 28, 2002
Ugh.

Friday, June 28, 2002
Schoolboys wear their uniforms on faked ID's.
Brilliant!

Friday, June 28, 2002
Punk Fui
I'm not a believer in this, but I'm linking for remarks like this: "The point of Feng Shui is to create sheng chi and expel sha chi. The point of Punk Fui is to do this with purchases made at a dollar store."

Friday, June 21, 2002
Oh, this is a big hoot.
You know they're gonna get their asses kicked by lawyers pretty soon, but in the meantime... na na na na na na!

Friday, June 21, 2002
BARF.

Friday, June 21, 2002
Is it good or bad to be a woman in China these days?
The good: As a rare commodity, you can (supposedly) take your pick of all the men and make sure you end up with a good one. Everybody wants you, which is a big ego boost. And hey, maybe polyandry might come into style!

The bad: Guess what, you're at risk for being forced into marriage, kidnapping and rape!

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Friday, June 21, 2002
Song Facts
Some tidbits on various songs. I always like finding out the motivations behind these things. Not to mention I always wondered what the hell some songs like "What A Fool Believes" were about.

Friday, June 21, 2002
If you ever changed the address on your credit card, don't try to get a Sprint cell phone.
At the urging of the boy, who has one, I have been ATTEMPTING to get one of these for a week. Since the only store I could get it at in town was a Radio Shit, which only offered the most expensive phones and has moron employees who have jerked me around and lied to me whenever I've had to ask them any questions, I decided to go online. If you can order online, they knock a lot of money off the fee.

Well, hah on me, it didn't work for either of my cards. I end up calling the number, when they tell me the thing about how the ship-to address has to match exactly the one on the card. At which point I realize that (a) the credit card is at the parents' address, and (b) my bank card is probably still in my old address because the last time I dropped by to tell them it, the chick looked at me blankly. So fine, I go to the bank, they change my address, check my account, say everything should be fine. And it STILL doesn't work. "Is your address incorrect? You have to have it precisely right." Adding to the fun, I'm in an apartment and you never know how people are going to write down that you live in an apartment. #? Apt.? Apartment? Who the hell knows? Phone girl tries all permutations and it still won't work. At which point I tell her to delete me from the system because I obviously wasn't meant to get one of their phones.

Should you ever get one- try to pay in person, in cash :P

Friday, June 21, 2002
I don't know what to make of this.
"Robert Epstein, editor in chief of Psychology Today, says he's overwhelmed by the reaction to his published request for a woman who will learn to love him and will write a book with him about intentionally falling in love with a given partner. More than 300 women have responded. Several book publishers are salivating, he says. He has a development offer from a TV network to create a reality series on how to actively choose to fall in love with someone. And he is fending off those who think he's ''crazy,'' including his own mother. In the June issue of his magazine, Epstein ran an editorial seeking a woman who would date him exclusively, go to various types of couples' counseling in order to get to truly know each other, then ''fall deeply in love'' by the end of a mutually negotiated time -- say, maybe six months. Marriage would be a good outcome, he says. ''This isn't a publicity stunt,'' he wrote. ''It's a serious, albeit small-scale challenge to a vexing myth,'' that there is but one person for each of us with whom we will live happily ever after. He seeks ''an alternative to the silly myths that ruin so many lives.'' About 60% of the world's marriages are not for love, he says. They are arranged. Nobody knows how many of these couples eventually fall in love with each other, but he speculates ''about half.'' One can learn to love, he says. And those who do have a better chance at success than those who ''start out with a burst of passion and end up with nothing.''"

I do wonder how this experiment's gonna turn out. Not to mention how he's going to select the woman, and how much the selection will have to do with the success of the marriage. I presume he's just not picking a name out of a hat (now THAT would make things real interesting- can you fall for ANY random person? I don't think so), but will be going through pics, applications, etc. and then picking who seems suitable. Wouldn't you think that would influence the experiment a bit?

This reminds me of that guy who had his friends pick him out a girl and they got married at the Mall of America or whatever. They seem to be doing pretty well after a few years... who knows?

Friday, June 21, 2002
Buffy season seven spoilers
Lots more spoilers.

Friday, June 21, 2002
I'm amazed it lasted as long as it did.
(No, not another J.Lo or Britney link. Even worse?)

Friday, June 21, 2002
The science of superheroes

Friday, June 21, 2002
Hey, this is pretty hilarious- the wedding very special kinda checklist
"This checklist is here so that you know you're not alone. The bride that doesn't go through at least half of this stuff is the "weirdo". Print this list, tack it up in your room somewhere and see if you can be the "all time champ" and check off every single item. Whatever you don't see here, add it to your list, and don't forget to send it to us. Also keep it in a safe place to hand down to your daughter."

Friday, June 21, 2002
The other kids around you may have a lot more influence on your than your parents.
You gotta admit that she's got a point, if you go on observation. At any rate, it would explain why I'm so different from my parents in some respects (certainly less traditional).

Wednesday, June 19, 2002
I can't believe they're so pissy about a joke.
Yup, here's yet another local controversy for you. A couple of weeks ago, the California Aggie came out with its traditional end of the year spoof edition. (Don't bother looking for it online, it ain't there.) Which was (a) a lot funnier than they usually are, and (b) well, quite dirty. Front page stories involved a Caesarian murder of the former ASUCD president (who called himself "Black Caesar" and got into trouble more than once during his time in office), a large statue of a penis being erected by the "masculine studies department," the lecturers getting the boot issue being resolved by a massive happy orgy, etc. Yeah, it was dirty, but ... IT'S A JOKE. A very silly joke. Hey, it's not like a naked guy hasn't made it onto the front page of the Aggie before, either. And the new humor magazine publishes the same kind of thing every few weeks, for crying out loud. And in all honesty, I just don't think it's that big enough of a deal to try to punish the staffers responsible for, especially after some of them graduated.

Thing is, though, the new editor who was in charge of the thing, well... I totally think he just shot himself in the foot here:

"Clearly, this was not factual, and we used public figures, who are open to public scrutiny," said Vo. "But some things went beyond satire and were just offensive and blatant, with no grounds for satire or parody. Some things were antagonistic and for the most part hateful." Vo said the staff was facing a tight deadline and worked until 4 a.m. to complete the June 7 issue on time. As a result, he said, he didn't read some of the things printed in "The Ivory Basement" spoof issue. If he had, he said, they wouldn't have appeared."

For one thing, insulting the work of your staff while being quoted by another newspaper? Yeah, great idea to piss them off there. For another, he should NOT have said in print that he didn't read everything printed. Hello, you've just admitted to not doing your job?! Stupid, stupid, stupid! That's EXACTLY what got a previous editor in trouble a few years ago back when we were having all that shit going on about certain comic strips (see link below). Her saying she didn't have time to check it all led to people saying "Well, maybe we should just cut back on the newspaper so you have more time, eh?", and apparently also led to them making sure the new editor was in charge of the parody instead of the old one so that they could punish his or her non-graduating ass. Now they're considering firing him for it. (And I'm certainly not surprised to hear that Mary Vasquez is leading the charge against him, considering that she got dogged on in about every other page of that.)

This is even worse, considering that when this guy got hired for the job, some staffers didn't think he had enough experience to do it. Look at what they say in this:
"One issue that some members of the Aggie, such as Photography Editor Joe Jaszewski, have expressed concern over is that due to Vo’s lack of experience he does not have the news judgment – the ability to determine the strength of a story – needed to be editor-in-chief.
"He was forced into the city editor spot early, as someone resigned earlier this year," Jaszewski said. "I don’t think that he’s had the time to really hone his skills as someone who can judge well what is a good story."
Alison Williams, arts editor and the other candidate who ran for the editor-in-chief position, said that Fitz is highly devoted to The Aggie, but that the job requires more than dedication.
"Half of the responsibility [of being editor-in-chief] is dealing with the public," Williams contended. "Having known Fitz for a year or more, I’m not sure that he has the tools to be able to come into the job prepared. I think that was something that was overlooked by Media Board who made the decision."

I suspect firing may very well happen.

Wednesday, June 19, 2002
Liza may get her own Osbournes-type show.
God, that may be even worse than Anna Nicole.

Wednesday, June 19, 2002
Oh my gosh. DDR in a PE class.

Wednesday, June 19, 2002
I guess his soul just wasn't worth that much.

Wednesday, June 19, 2002
Don't you just love these wedding pictures?
Now if I could only stand on my head...

Wednesday, June 19, 2002
Okay, you know what? That's just seeing WAY too much into a damn poster.

Wednesday, June 19, 2002
That is just so wrong.
Threatening to take the degree away if you face the wrong direction?!

Wednesday, June 19, 2002
Fred/die wounded to the heart to have to take his gay ascot off.
You won't actually get to see this deep moment of his in the movie (along with the stoner and lesbian stuff). I bet you're soooooo disappointed.

Wednesday, June 19, 2002
The best Britney's-going-to-my-college joke thing I've ever seen!

Wednesday, June 19, 2002
The stupidest reason to commit suicide, ever.

Wednesday, June 19, 2002
Sports more likely to lead to safer teen sex than churchgoing.
Also, Apparently NOTHING- not sex ex, not abstinence- does a damn thing to reduce teen pregnancies.

Wednesday, June 19, 2002
Paying an editor to tell you why they won't buy your book for free
On the one hand, probably a great moneymaker. On the other hand, what's the point of doing it?

Meanwhile, despite every effort, every sucking-up review, every book bought by a relative, every required quota per area, Saddam's latest book is a slow seller.

Wednesday, June 19, 2002
The continued fuckupedness of Tara and Will
Tara and Will didn't even think they were legally married, filed for divorce during the race, Tara's still with Alex, Will's a sourpuss.

"Reality" TV goes horribly, horribly wrong. Sick!

Wednesday, June 19, 2002
High school seniors graduate, dump significant others.
Ah, the memories... yes, I was a college junior when this first happened to me, why do you ask?

Been there, doing that, it never ends.

The best years of his life are never gonna happen.

Tuesday, June 11, 2002
Colin Farrell: Who is now guaranteed to not become a star because Vanity Fair put him on the cover.
Having just received this issue the other day, I was vastly amused at well, how pathetic it was. Nearly the entire thing is about how Colin is (a) a raging drunken party animal, who claims to not be a cokehead only by virtue of his family, (b) an incredibly fuckin' foulmouthed guy, and (c) someone who really goes on and on and on about being Irish. Not to mention the photos, in which he has the exact same odd dark catatonic expression in every one. (Every one also prominently features his massive arm tattoo for some reason.) Can the man actually act? I have no idea, given he hasn't exactly had a hit yet, the catatonic expression, and the drinking like a fish, but I'm kinda suspecting no. I'll let you know the verdict after the boy and I get around to Minority Report, but I just get not-exactly-acting vibes from this guy. He strikes me as someone who isn't going to be star material, but he'll sure behave like one at parties.

Tuesday, June 11, 2002
Finally, mail-order grooms!
Hmm, you think she might be interested?

Tuesday, June 11, 2002
I. Love. This.
Every single tiny minute calorie-losing, sex-related detail!

Tuesday, June 11, 2002
I didn't even go to this school, but now I want one of these T-shirts.

Tuesday, June 11, 2002
What it's like to be a female sex writer in college.
I wish we had one here. That would rock.

Tuesday, June 11, 2002
This is just rather sad
Certain middle schools are making BIG productions (I'm talking limos and ball gowns, folks) of their graduations because of how unlikely it will be that these kids have another graduation ever again. Man.

Tuesday, June 11, 2002
I've got a theory, that it's a producer...
There is a rumor going on that a Sorority Life producer is having a thing with a sister. Not that I have any idea if this is true, mind you. There's also rumors of them putting fake pretty girls into the sorority for the show. I personally suspect this sorority got picked because it must have a lot of babes already.

And excuse me, the university is NOT in Sacramento!!!! That's why it's called the University of California, DAVIS, not UC Sacramento. Morons!

Tuesday, June 11, 2002
Wow, what were the odds on that?

Tuesday, June 11, 2002
Wedding reception at McDonald's
I mentioned this to the boy, and he's all "That's what my parents did." I'm all "But did they go in a limo?"

Gee, what a surprise. And here I thought that marriage was sure to last.

Tuesday, June 11, 2002
Yoda vs. Arnold: Who would win?
Also, Werewolf vs. vampire: who would win?

Friday, June 7, 2002
Uh-oh...
I'm just waiting for the Chinese media to pick THIS one up...

Friday, June 7, 2002
Everybody's doing it: Your own South Park character
I did one of the boy and he came out looking a lot like "The Mole."

Friday, June 7, 2002
What on earth is the purpose of doing this for a strike?
Do the bosses really even care about that?

Friday, June 7, 2002
Yes, the people who grade standardized essays DO laugh at what you wrote.
Even more disturbing: they get really excited when they find ones about abuse or suicide.

Friday, June 7, 2002
This is why celebrities shouldn't agree to have their weddings covered in a certain magazine...
On a similar topic, for your amusement: The Wedding Aptitude Test.

"Dear Aunt Mabel,
We were so thrilled to get the lovely crocheted caterpillar-shaped Tupperware covers from you. It means so much to have something that you made by hand in our kitchen. We were getting tired of all those gifts from our Bloomingdale's registry anyway. Thanks for thinking of us.

The author:
Loves Aunt Mabel's gift
Is not sure of the purpose of Aunt Mabel's gift
Is lying when she says she is tired of gifts from Bloomingdale's
Does not want to appear ungrateful, although in truth she does not know what to do with dear Aunt Mabel's caterpillar-shaped Tupperware covers
B,C, and D"

Friday, June 7, 2002
Firefly: the weblog

Friday, June 7, 2002
Geographically undesireable hits a new low
Okay, so I've never been to Washington, so I don't know how it is for myself, but yikes. Then again, I date someone who lives an hour to two hours (depending on mode of transport) away, so I'm perhaps biased.

Friday, June 7, 2002
Oh joy, now they're trying to change the legal age of smoking in California to 21.
As many others will point out, all this is likely to do is annoy people, but NOT stop anyone from smoking that really wants to. They'll just get their older friends to get them cigarettes. And in all honesty, it really bugs me that we have this stupid graduated adulthood thing here. If the legal age of adulthood and drafting and jail is 18, why on earth should you have to wait three more years for the rest of it? "Oh, sorry, you're an adult, but not much of one."

Friday, June 7, 2002
Britney's on the way out! Hooray!
"Now she's just someone walking around half-naked."

Friday, June 7, 2002
Only superheroes are fit for lives of celibacy
Meanwhile, R. Kelly joins the priesthood.

Friday, June 7, 2002
That's the saddest grade curving I've ever seen.
And given our educational system, I'm surprised this didn't originate in California.

Friday, June 7, 2002
The Dammit Doll
Ooh, I think I just found something for a Father's Day gift...

Friday, June 7, 2002
Over half of workers under the age of 30 have phoned in sick so they could have sex.
This is a surprise?

Friday, June 7, 2002
Women are better liars than men.
And perhaps related to this one... When at their most fertile, women are most in the mood to commit adultery.

Friday, June 7, 2002
When they call it the coolest street party, they ain't kidding.

Friday, June 7, 2002
Ewwww. I don't need to see that.

Friday, June 7, 2002
Random Masturbation Synomyn Generator
Because I find sexual euphemisms to be incredibly amusing.

Friday, June 7, 2002
Good point.
"You will hear people stupidly tell a childless woman, "You should have kids," but you will never find them asking a mother of three, "Was that last one necessary?"

Friday, June 7, 2002
The lesbian cliche FAQ on Willow and Tara and the end of the season: Heartbreaking.
And an amen to this: "Unfortunately, Amber was included in the credits in the very episode Tara was murdered. Mr. DeKnight admitted that this was intended both as a goodbye present to Amber and to be "mischievous" to the fans. We cannot speak for Amber, but it seems to us that putting her in the credits for her final episode was a slap in the face. Why wasn't she included from the beginning of the season like all the other Scooby significant others like Anya, Riley and Oz? Too little, too late. Furthermore, seeing how fans were already going to be shocked and hurt by the ending of "Seeing Red," ME did not need to heighten the pain by "mischievously" adding her to the credits, building false hope to make their plan of devastation more complete. It was a mean and crass move."

On a similar subject on another show: Wolfram and Hart: the website.

Friday, June 7, 2002
If it had been Gore...
"Then imagine the news of the past two weeks about reports coming into different parts of the federal government about the likelihood of Osama bin Laden launching a major assault in the United States. Imagine an FBI agent informing Gore's attorney general about Middle Eastern students in flight schools not interested in learning how to take off or land. Imagine earlier intelligence reports projecting a new terrorist strategy of flying airliners into buildings. Imagine President Gore.
Then duck.
Hours into the news story -- right about the point when the Bush administration launched its hurt-feelings response -- a Republican congressman would have introduced an impeachment resolution. Several might have been trampled in the stampede to get to the House floor."

Friday, June 7, 2002
An interesting article on religion and Survivor
"It's one thing to pray for safety and all of that, but quite another to thank God every time you win something," Bloomberg said in an e-mail. "Every time Vecepia won, it meant other Christians, like Sean and Paschal and Neleh, lost. What does that say?"

Friday, June 7, 2002
Kiddie terror lit
The author of this has a point when she says that Harriet the Spy would never get published in today's atmosphere. I had no idea kids' books were so damn scary and traumatizing these days! Heck, in my day we just had horror and Lurlene McDaniel, but not stories about Dad killing Mom!

Friday, June 7, 2002
They'd offer to take you out even if you were wearing a burqa.
My favorite quote is "If it weren't for the fact that I'm getting paid 17 dollars an hour to chat on the Internet all day, I'd go back to being a camp counsellor for the summer."

"Research has also shown that men have a tendency to mistake friendly behaviour for sexual flirting. This is not because they are stupid or deluded, but because they tend to see the world in more sexual terms than women. There is also evidence to suggest that women are naturally more socially skilled than men, better at interpreting people's behaviour and responding appropriately. Indeed, scientists have recently claimed that women have a special 'diplomacy gene' which men lack." Well, that explains a lot. Especially why I can't say hi to any random teenage boy without them thinking I want to marry them or whatever. Gah.

"Dirty old men have always got money and they can't move as fast as us, so we decided to go after them."

Friday, June 7, 2002
Your tree horoscope?!
Amusingly, my boy and I are both walnuts, also known as "the passion."

Wednesday, May 29, 2002
Second chance prom
(note: link will probably change next week, couldn't find a permalink) I know this sounds like it was totally horrible, plus I went to three proms when I was in high school, but... I'd still totally go to one of these. Mainly for the excuse to dress up, I must admit- I spent Monday helping my roommate find a graduation outfit and kept eyeing the prom dresses and whining "I wanna another fancy dress!"

Wednesday, May 29, 2002
Awww, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck have broken up.
Man, I could just cry. They were so good together! *sniff*

Wednesday, May 29, 2002
There are not enough penises in the movies.
(That line alone prompted me to link to this one.)

Wednesday, May 29, 2002
Woman invents secret money pouch to be stashed in her bra because....
"nobody's going to grab at your chest." Uh, fifty bucks says they will after finding out about this invention...

Wednesday, May 29, 2002
RISK in the future sounds AWESOME!

Wednesday, May 29, 2002
Here's an interesting space dilemma for you:
An observant Jew going up in space wants to know what happens about observing the Sabbath there, since in orbit it happens about every 10 1/2 hours.

So far, one rabbi thinks he should be let off the hook because he's not on Earth time, another says you should do the same as if you were on Earth, but since he really shouldn't be taking THAT much time off during the mission and risking lives, he should be let off the hook. Call it a hunch he won't have to do that every 10 hours after all.

Wednesday, May 29, 2002
The more older brothers you have, the more likely you are to be a gay boy.
Gay boys also weight less at birth than straight younger brother boys. Weird. I'm still wondering about this "two and a half older brothers" remark, though. Whether your brother is a half brother or not, he's still older than you, duh.

And here's another freakish baby boy fact: Having sons shortened moms' lives, daughters lengthened lives. They seem to chalk it up to big heavy baby boys, but not mention the housewife-work factor.

Wednesday, May 29, 2002
Anna Nicole Smith to get her own reality show.
Who else suspects this may be more pathetic than funny and Osbournes-like?

And speaking of... I nearly bought one of these right-hand side creations as a poster the other night. I was sorely tempted after this last family weekend at home, lemme tell ya.

Wednesday, May 29, 2002
Nerd's parents fear he may be getting in with popular crowd
cough*bullshit!likethatwouldeverhappen!*cough.

Still funny as all hell, though.

Wednesday, May 29, 2002
Women just don't get Star Wars?!?
I beg to differ!

Wednesday, May 29, 2002
Great writers you just can't read
Otherwise known as "The Plight of the English Major."

Wednesday, May 29, 2002
Boy, does this article just keep giving me the creeps somehow.
And I'm not normally against genetic engineering, either.

Really, "gays won't die out because gays will want to have gay kids?" Um, what?

Wednesday, May 29, 2002
Hey, soccer fans! Who wants to wear this wedding gown?

Wednesday, May 29, 2002
Water found on Mars may lead to manned landing in 20 years?
Let's hope so, anyway.