visitors since July '06.
Thank you for loving me.

Welcome to my blog! I am an 18-year-old female from Malaysia, currently studying in Canada. My online nickname is Rin or Sylkis. <3 I was born on the 8th of August, 1988, and my measurements are... Just kidding. xD
I believe in the one true God, Jesus. I'm 100% Chinese, 5th-generation Malaysian, and speak English, Malay & Cantonese fluently. I can understand smatterings of Japanese & French, and am currently learning Latin.
I'd like to rule the world, but I'll settle for being a singer & dermatologist. ^_^ I like to sing, write, read, play MMORPGs, play with Photoshop, post in forums, and write emails! (hinthint) Recently, I've fallen in love with Jazz. I hope to get more into it. I also like small, hard, unreadable text. =D

I have an email address (no FWDs please),
a private msn address (email to request),
a friendster account (addwith this),
a myspace account (addwith this),
a Gaiaonline account (Sylkis),
a Kokorobox account (Rin).

Find my archives here!

Like me enough? ;D Want to link to me? Save & use the button below. No direct linking, please. I only have THAT much 'bucket bandwidth.

Artistes: Gackt Camui, Tommy february6, Hikaru Utada, Yuna Ito, Hinouchi Emi, m-flo, Kill Hannah, Mute Math, Bernadette Peters
Current song: Truth [Reira ft. Yuna Ito]
PV: D.D.D. [Koda Kumi ft. SOULHEAD]
Anime: NANA & ParaKiss
Manga: Nana
Status: in <3 with Michael
Movies: Narnia, Moon Child, Phantom of the Opera, Dirty Dancing 2, NANA
Books: Redeeming Love, Blue Like Jazz, The Athenian Murders, Till We Have Faces, Captivating
Games: FF8, RO, DDR, Ez2Dancer, Para-para
Colors: black, silver, blue, pink, white
Flowers: peony, lily, rose
Food: mochi, dark chocolate, rice, noodles, mushroom, squid, sushi, soba, shisamo, spinach, cheesecake, white grapes, crab, lobster, fruit jelly, yaucharkuai

Rae . Dea . Daryl . Guo Zhang . Tee Yoong . Aaron . Kimmy . Jasmine . Su-Lyn . Dustin . Gray . Ras+Mel . Hooi Min . Hanif . Froggy

Saturday, March 3, 2007

Mood: Twitchy, high on caffeine
Background Music: Anna Tsuchiya - Lucy
Midterm CONQUERING ACTION~ *pelvic thrusts them into submission*
TAKE THAT YOU..
!@#$%^&*(beast.
I need to effing organize my room, my blog, my life, and wardrobe. And get some songs going, YEAH BABY.
It's a randomflood of optimism. I'm alive and kickin' baby, rockin' out on YOUR STAGE.
I love you, Minny and Dea!
Haaaaaapy birthday, Rinoa Heartilly. You are a proud 25-year-old. BWAHAHAHA OLD.
It's sad I still know that.
EMAIL ME WITH LOVE, OH YOU SLACKERS.

Inscribed at 01:45 a.m., while pondering my existence.

Monday, February 5, 2007

Mood: Distracted
Background Music: Utada Hikaru - Flavor of Life
I'll rip your dreams apart, show you my maddening reality, draw you close, break your heart, and murder you lovingly.
It happened, and I didn't see it coming.
I'm a horrible person, loving two people at once.
I sang Yuna Ito's "Precious". My mood is evident there. I want a twin.

It's my own fault, after all. Why, Li Yen, why?
God telling me to be single?
Maybe.
Just like I shouldn't be a singer, hmm. So many others way better than I.
Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone.
Fucking melodramatic. C'est mon coeur.
Michael, I'm sorry. Jared, I'm sorry. Humans are weak after all.
Or is it just me acting like a spoilt child having her toys taken away? --Perish the thought! If it be so, then I deserve no more of life.

Inscribed at 02:09 p.m., while pondering my existence.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Mood: Sleepy
Background Music: Ayumi Hamasaku - Moments
I'm getting bored of my blog layout. Time to change/make a new one, har har har. Of course, that will happen as soon as I get rid of my workload. And THAT, might only happen when these 4 months are over. Man, I can't wait for April. Unfortunately, though I finish by the 2nd week of April, I can only go by the end of May... Choir Tour. D:
I met someone. O: He's fun, and is teaching me Chinese. Whee~
Michael's tutoring a kid in art! Soo cute. I wanna meet this 7-year-old progeny of Michael's.
I want to be a singer, as usual, LALALA.
Very sleepy. Last night did not yield a happy sleeper.
Oyasumi nasai, minna. Wan annnnn~

Inscribed at 03:31 p.m., while pondering my existence.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Mood: Tame
Background Music: Regina Spektor - Fidelity
I wrote a new song.

Rin - Such A Faraway Dream
Someday, they say we're gonna be perfect
But are we just supposed to sit and wait and mope?
Time is passing as we stare
It's a been long time gone, and a long time more
But we still continue racing through this life
Finding all our hopes and cares

Ohh, ohh~ It's like running round in circles
Hearing all these different voices
Ohh, ohh~ But keep the faith dear, don't let go
Before it's time to flow

It's such a faraway dream
And we can't explain what it means
But we're pushing through this life
With the one true God beside
It's such a faraway dream
But we're pressing on till we
Fall apart and give our all
For the dream our hearts have called

These days, they say we'll never be perfect
And all we want to do is sit and wait and mope
Time is laughing as we stare
"It's been a long time gone, and a long time more"
Doesn't mean a thing to people any longer
They have lost their hopes and cares

Ohh, ohh~ Stop me running round in circles
I want to listen just to You
Ohh, ohh~ Help me keep the faith now, hold on tight
Keep Heaven in our sights

It's such a faraway dream
And we can't explain what it means
But we're pushing through this life
With the one true God beside
It's such a faraway dream
But we're pressing on till we
Fall apart and give our all
For the dream our hearts have called

AAAAAND, it's not piano-based, as most of my songs have been. Woot woot. I wonder how I can post up the melody. Hmm...
Oh, and it was sudden inspiration. I've always thought of being a singer as "Such A Faraway Dream", so I thought I'd write a song with that title, and it became this, and ode to my God. Ish.

Inscribed at 03:37 a.m., while pondering my existence.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Mood: Dizzy, breathless
Background Music: Yuna Ito - Losin'
You wouldn't believe how hard it is to sing Yuna Ito's "Losin'" song. I practiced like crazy, got really dizzy and breathless, but finally did a presentable job of it.

The audio is a little off from the video, so it makes it look like I'm lipsyncing...to myself?? Ha, ha...

Inscribed at 12:20 p.m., while pondering my existence.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Mood: Thoughtful
Background Music: Anna Tsuchiya - Kuroi Namida
This heart aches for the soil
Where its blood was spilt;
These eyes long for the sheets
Where their tears were soaked;
And this soul cries for the voices
That filled its ears for so long
So very long, through the dark nights and
Sunny days, sweltering under the tropical sun
And enduring sticky, sweaty, humid air.
Unseeing, unhearing, unfeeling.
That's all this body endures day after day
Until it falls down tired, exhausted
At the end with the sun.
Bring me home, gentle memory of
A sharp-accented culture with unforgiving superstitions;
Take me away from this alien society
Where the flow of the rivers do not match.
O Peace, my heart-
my eyes, my soul. Someday
It will all end, and I shall be at rest
With those I love, treasure and adore.

Inscribed at 03:04 p.m., while pondering my existence.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Mood: Ecstatic
Background Music: May J. ft. Verbal - Here We Go
MY SINGING, YO. CHECK IT OUT!
Yeah, I'm still alive. Sorry for not posting much. My life's being pretty ordinary right now.

Inscribed at 07:26 a.m., while pondering my existence.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Mood: Tentative
Background Music: Malice Mizer (Gackt Vo.) - APRES MIDI
I wrote my Biology final today, and I wished I had studied more... But no use fretting about it now. I must concentrate on my Calculus & Philosophy. I did English & Chemistry on Tuesday, and those went very well.
Tomorrow I fly to Regina and get to see Michael! <3 I'm excited. We're going to visit Caronport together after that.
I like my hair curly, I think. A "Reira" perm. xO~ Likey?

But anyway... I intend on doing much photography this christmas with Michael & myself as models. For deviantart! Maybe we can make money off it, haha. It'll be fun if it gets to the point where I can sell prints of my work and photography.
Must head off to study now--I just packed up two of the huge check-in luggages.

Inscribed at 11:17 a.m., while pondering my existence.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Mood: Peaceful
Background Music: Hinouchi Emi - Let It Be
Yesterday, a main water pipe burst in the student apartments that I'm living in. The maintenance guy said that he couldn't secure the part, and so the water won't come back until Monday--the shops are closed over the weekend. Somehow, the water drives the heating system, and so we are all water-less and heat-less. A few friends and I went to the first-year Rez to shower; the college opened up a few rooms for us to go have showers in. The oven's open and heating us now.
You really don't realize how much you take water for granted until it's gone--you gotta think about using the bathroom, cooking, drinking, washing clothes, washing your hands... You get the picture. Ah, well. It's been alright so far.
Last night, I had a sleepover with the girls in the apartment above me. It was cute and fun. x3
Also, I finally got around to designing and setting up Rae's new blog layout! Featuring Ichinose Takumi (live-action movie) from NANA, and the lovely Rae herself, it is a dedication to Rae's love of Takumi--I love him too, so maybe my next layout will have him?--and her girly side! I admit that it doesn't completely suit her image, but the colors were begging to be used... ;_; Forgive me, Rae-baby~~
Last night, I did more deviations. One for winter, called "Winter Frost", turned out very well. Have a look at my deviantART account and enjoy! I'll be off now to see what everyone else is doing so I don't feel so lifeless and, er, lonely? Haha...
And now, here are the celebrities that I resemble. Quiz idea obtained from Rae, whose lovely blog link I posted earlier. <333

http://www.myheritage.com

Inscribed at 09:26 a.m., while pondering my existence.

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Mood: Calm
Background Music: m-flo Loves BoA - Someday One Day
I had a really good conversation with my mummy two nights ago, on the topic of my future and the anxiety I am feeling over it. Mum's really changed, and it surprised me when I noticed her attitude change towards my future. She was open to me going into something other than medicine. Teaching, music... She wants me to pray and follow God's will. I feel like I'm on the edge of taking a gamble with things. Any choice I choose would explode into this huge possibility and etc. Uuurgh.
I know I would absolutely LOVE to do music. I've decided I have to set my style down in concrete. Currently, I am too swayed by what I see and what I like. My style's all over the place. Must sit down, define it, and hone it.

Inscribed at 03:43 p.m., while pondering my existence.

Sunday, December 3, 2006

Mood: Torn, wild, rabid... You name it.
Background Music: Reira (Trapnest) ft. Yuna Ito - Truth
Oh SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT.
Nana has cast a fuxxing spell on me.
I went on Google videos, searching for stuff casually, and I found a promotional CM for the Nana 2 Kick-off DVD, and a trailer for the Nana 2 movie, AND a music video for Mika Nakashima's "Hitoiro", the theme song for Nana 2. DAMN IT ALL! They put in a teasing scene of the part where Takumi is about to kiss Nana (Hachi) in his car! EXCEPT! THEY DON'T SHOW THEM KISSING!!! @#$%^&*O.M.F.G! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
*insert violent fangirl anger & anticipation here*
How can I even begin to express in words my emotions right now!!?!??! I FEEL FUXXING WILD!!! I WANT TO SEE NANA 2!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;_____; *sniffsniffsniff* Damn it all, they did an amazing job of hyping it up. And watching the first movie, anime as well as reading the manga (which gives me the EXACT SAME STORYLINE 3x) doesn't even make me tired of it!!!
Infact, seeing the SAME storyline THREE TIMES and all done EQUALLY WELL makes me crazy, wild, mad... I want more. ;_; I WANT MORE NANAAAAAAA~ *goes insane*
It's fuxxing ruling my thoughts. I learn to cook, I think, "Oh! It's like Hachi & Nana learning to cook. Yaaaay!" I almost get to record my songs, and I think, "Hofux, I can actually come one step closer to being like Reira! I'm so happy!" Then, I start to find ways to get my hair curlier like Reira's. Or dress smart like Hachi. Memorize songs, know random things about Nana, FANTASIZE ABOUT TAKUMI.
I'm bloody 18 years old, and I have a boyfriend, my life is going great, I get amazing grades in college... WHY DO I WANT THIS ALTERNATE REALITY SO BADLY??? It doesn't make sense at ALL. Aren't I supposed to be happy? Aren't I supposed to look at my life and go, "Wow, I'm doing much better than others are... Live it, girl!" ...I should, but I don't want to. I want this sparkly, tempting, carefree, careless life portrayed in Nana. I want to live that life with Rae & Dea. I couldn't see Michael doing it, though, which makes me sad... He's too much of a realist now, and it gets me down sometimes. Or maybe I'm too much of a dreamer... I don't know, I don't know...
Someday, I will be like Reira, and the world will know me for my voice.

Inscribed at 03:33 p.m., while pondering my existence.

Saturday, December 2, 2006

Mood: Pissy
Background Music: Ok Go - Get Over It
So you know when you talk about something and have a mood, and then whoever you're ranting to decides it's their life mission to "HEAL YOUR PAIN" and "FIX YOU" so you're eternally sunshine and smiles? Fux. Get over it, people, it's called a mood swing. I can have my strong depressive opinions, but I'm damn well strong enough to get back up again.
Indulgence in emotions; why can't I do it in peace? Pfft, get a life.
La la la, weekend is here, goin' to a Christmas dance tonight, get to see my baby in two weeks. The black, dark cold hasn't gotten to my heart yet; no sir-ee, I'm gonna SHiiiiiiiine! That black rose has caught my attention and blossoms beside my beauty, creating those dark lines of elegance and despair that etch themselves upon the pillars of my heart. Dreams will never lose themselves in my memories, and someday, I'll forsake the light to chase that elusive, glittering darkness. Out of the darkness, I'll find a song, and out of the song, I'll find my voice.
Life's so cliche, it's all been said before. It makes me laugh.
Maybe I'm just bitter because I don't have love around me right now, only through the internet, which in itself is so cold and faraway.

Inscribed at 08:13 a.m., while pondering my existence.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Mood: Strange
Background Music: Koda Kumi ft. Soulhead - D.D.D.
I wonder what my parents/friends would think if I became a singer like Koda Kumi and made videos like hers. LAWL. But I really enjoy this one. I'd wear that pink/black combo she's got in the cell. I like muchly.

Inscribed at 01:26 p.m., while pondering my existence.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Mood: Refreshed
Background Music: Rajaton - Summer Song
I really needed that break, and Caronport really refreshed me. It was wonderful to see everybody again even though I didn't get to accomplish what the trip was for. The travel there and back was safe and peaceful; only thing is that I got a sore back out of it, as I sleep in weird positions in my seat. Ugggh. The left shoulder feels like death.
Dessert theatre this year was WONDERFUL! They performed "Cheaper By the Dozen", and the Jazz choir sang in it too! I absolutely LOVED it. Almost cried right at the end, because it was so touching. I'm so happy for my friends (I'd say "proud" too, but I feel old. xO~). Got to see so many teachers and people and friends. Made my day every time.
Met up with Jared, and he showed me the studio after Dessert theatre. Ohmygawd, I almost died of happiness. It's so cool! Then after that we went to hang out with some people, then went back to his house to join his parents in the last part of their wine & cheese tasting party. It was the most alcohol I have ever drunk, and I felt it all in my head. His dad drove me back to Mrs. Ike's house, where I was spending the night. She was so wonderful, and her husband too. It was kinda cute because he was playing videogames in the basement all zoned-out like a teenager.
Slept it off, and woke up to a phonecall from Jared's mother telling me that he had woke up puking and got the flu. >>;; Who'dve thunk? So we didn't do any recording. However I did do a mini-tour of Caronport to see the rest of my teachers and friends. It was speedy and fun, and I used a map--didn't get lost, ohoho.
That's my weekend. I'm back now, and sleepy as hell. G'night.

Inscribed at 04:27 p.m., while pondering my existence.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Mood: Disgruntled, yet again
Background Music: m-flo loves Bonnie Pink - Love Song
I'm fuxxing sick of assignments. D:
My social life = GONE.
I know only about photosynthetic processes, forensic toxicology, Soren Kierkegaard, Frankenstein, integrals, and not singing flat. (Yes, that was a speedy rundown of what my week's been like so far)
Because I am going to Caronport this Friday/Saturday, I only had a 3-day week. Ha, ha ha... Still got a ton of homework dumped on me.
I'm happy the people I've shown it to like my new jazz song. =) Huhu.
GO. SEE. My. DEVIANTART!

Inscribed at 05:33 p.m., while pondering my existence.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Mood: Disgruntled
Background Music: Olivia Lufkin - Wish
I'm being stubborn right now, tra la la la la~
But anyway. Spent the weekend at Saskatoon with Michael, which was wonderful because I missed him so very much and it was a dream come true to see him! Spent Sunday night at Catherine's which was the funnest ever; I love her family. They're all so warm and loving. I've got a headache right now, and lots of assignments on the menu. Woo. Hoo.

Inscribed at 07:22 a.m., while pondering my existence.

Monday, November 6, 2006

Mood: Sleepy
Background Music: Utada Hikaru - This is Love
I met Catherine's friend Josh today; he worked with Kyla & Mike at Manitou Lake Bible Camp! What a coincidence; it's kind of crazy! He's a really nice guy, sturdy, good catch for any woman out there, in my opinion. I also went to church; cried during worship again. These overwhelming emotions just wash over me and make me cry; sometimes it's really frustrating because I drip all over the place and my nose is gross, but it's a wonderful release for all these pent-up feelings and upsets. I can just come clean in this safe, quiet, warm, loving place. To God.
Remembrance day weekend is coming up, and I am excited. Must secure travel plans down to Caronport for my surprise. <3 Oh, joy! I hope it'll go well. It's like a dream come true, it really is. But now, I must go to bed. It's 1am. In case anyone was wondering about the time anomaly, my computer is set to Malaysian time, hence the strange time pitas records on my blogging. <3 Heh.
To sign off, I designed this yesterday, inspired by Rae's "fadeless" edit.

Inscribed at 04:00 p.m., while pondering my existence.

Sunday, November 5, 2006

Mood: Mad
Background Music: Tommy february6 - I Still Love You Boy
Today, I woke up, veg'd, cooked, watched (and finished what I could) Nana anime, veg'd again, showered, veg'd, watched Serendipity, and here I am veg'ing againg. I made fried rice in an hour; how awesome is that? My cooking skills are developing, hooray!
So, here begins another rant about how dissatisfied I am with my life, and how I want to FUXXING GET ON A STAGE AND SING MY SOUL OUT. There are all these talented girls showcasing themselves, and I know I could measure up to them if given the chance. I'm dying to be like them, to be a singer, to unleash my voice...to bloom.
I'm annoyed at someone right now too. >( Don't ask. Do we ever find love?

Inscribed at 02:26 p.m., while pondering my existence.

Saturday, November 4, 2006

Mood: Quiet
Background Music: Michael W. Smith - Our God is an Awesome God
The choir noontunes concert was today, and it was very enjoyable. I feel dead because nobody here really shares my energy. It's all "mature, quiet, talk" and silliness. Not interesting silliness, just... Can't even explain it. Everyone thinks they're so... I don't know at all. There's not much spontaneity and excitement. It's stagnant, silent, dead. I'd love to be out more, to do crazy, wild things, to just LIVE! There's so much more to life than this silent, muted existance. Just STOP, and look around. Everything's a miracle, beautiful, vibrant--YES, even the mouldy, rotting garbage-filled dumpsters.
Should I complain if I choose to adapt to their lifestyle and feel unfulfilled? My soulmates aren't with me, and I am empty. Nana had Nana. I have my laptop. Woo. Hoo. So I do rely on people and need people to support me. Doesn't anyone? I want to go out and be free, and have people with me who want to do the same. We would feed off each other and just live, not really caring about what others thought. I don't have to be a good, productive citizen. Why the fux should I? If my heart's right, and I do what I can, is that not enough? Why do I have to cater to society's preconceived notions of absolutely everything?
I can be a doctor and SING too, dammit. I can be a Christian and dance in MTV videos too. I can be nerdy and adore hip hop. Fux to all stereotypes. I'll break you ALL, mercilessly, relentlessly. You can't restrict me and hold me down. Slow thinker, slow reacter; you have that advantage against me, but I have all the time in the world to do this. I will ponder, think, process--all I can, to keep myself.
Your questions drive me insane.
I'll lock my heart up tight, for I doubt I shall ever find another soul like mine. Be you male or female, if I find you, we will be prince and princess (or princesses) together, ruling our own little world contently, amusedly. The rest of the world need not interrupt us, because our love will keep them out.
My entire being aches for love, for fulfillment, for a twin. I am a fallen Eve, searching for my lost Adam. Many snakes have come between us and given me their fruit, but I have set my heart on you, and I will know you when we meet. You drive me on and poison me, killing me with each step I take. Yet, you are intoxicating and dark; you have me in your spell, and I am so willing, my sweet.
If death comes from my pursuit of you, it is sweeter than any other death I would have faced.

Inscribed at 04:25 p.m., while pondering my existence.

Thursday, November 2, 2006

Mood: Tranquil
Background Music: Yuna Ito - Faith
The first snowfall--I don't remember if I mentioned it--came a couple days ago. Saturday or Sunday, I don't really remember. But it's been really beautiful as I sit here at my window and watch the snowflakes fall. Everything's turning white, too, ad gives a sort of peace as you gaze out on this pure, unstained scenery. I do like winter. The only thing hard about it is the windchill.
The week of midterms has begun; I wrote my first one this morning. It was philosophy; we're finally done Karl Jaspers, and I can't wait to get to Plato's Symposium. In about 45 minutes my English midterm begins. There isn't an essay question, which makes me happy! I can't write too much nowadays, because my hand muscles just stiffen up and hurt a lot. Tomorrow is Chemistry, so tonight will be another burning of the midnight oil. Lastly, Calculus wraps things up on Friday, but I'm not overly concerned about that. I just have to memorize a few derivatives.
The education I received in high school has really carried over into my college classes; I value CHS for that so much.
Halloween was alright. Not spectacular, just alright. Didn't do anything, just participated in events on Gaia. Ahahaha...

Inscribed at 04:12 a.m., while pondering my existence.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Mood: Lethargic/Craving curry
Background Music: Crystal Kay - Kirakuni
I feel productive and useless, right at this moment. BLEH.
Daylight savings time began 2am last night, lol. I think it's a funny thing, but whatever. When in Rome, do as the Romans do, right?
I think I just needed to listen to music. My mood is slowly improving. That, and I needed to get my mind off certain things, or voices.
Omg. I'm talking to Mooch on MSN, and I'M CRAVING CHICKEN CURRY. Malaysia, Malaysia, I miss the food like crazy. Come back to meeeee. ><;; I made potato chicken and stuff... But TAK CUKUP LA.
Ramble ramble ramble.
I'd be the singer on your stage, whip off your hallucinations, and show you my maddening reality. Break your heart, draw you close, and murder you lovingly.
Don't even try.

Inscribed at 01:19 p.m., while pondering my existence.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Mood: Dead tired, exhilarated
Background Music: kazami - YOU
Halloween dance was today. Erin & I went as goths, Monika, Catherine and Heather went as Disney Princesses, and Sam & Cheryl & Lenae & Jessica went as cowgirls. Renae went as a hooker. Ben was emo, Bailey was the Phantom, Rhonda was a ghost, Shaun was a guerilla... It was crazy awesome. I danced so much, I almost died. Tired, tired. And as usual, I couldn't resist camwhoring since I got to dress up. Enjoy.
This is us, before the dance, all ready. Standing, ltr: Heather, unknown, Erin, Catherine, Monika. Floor, ltr: moi, Leora.

Ben was emo. Lawl!

And then there was Shaun. PHWOAR~

Erin+moi. Two goth ladies. Aren't we hawt? ;O

One out of many camwhorings.

I couldn't resist. It was very cool. Tres cool.

And THAT, dearest, was my Friday evening. Au revoir!

Inscribed at 04:05 p.m., while pondering my existence.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Mood: Drugged
Background Music: Chihiro Onitsuka - Infection
Been sick over the past couple of days, starting Sunday night. Don't know if I mentioned it. Woke up Monday morning feeling like death, suffered through Calculus, then skipped Bio & Philosophy. However, I woke up all happy and refreshed for English. Ironically, English was cancelled. I should've suffered through Bio and skipped English instead. Oh well!
I'm all moved into the student apartments now, but the only thing worrying me is my old place. The lease is officially "broken" when we find someone to take over for us. Haven't heard anything from their side, and I still have my keys, so I really don't know what's going on. I should call or email Laura to find out.
Midterms are creeping up again, but after how I performed the last time I'm not too horribly worried... I kind of know what to expect now, and that makes me more relaxed then before. Also, I'm more on top of things this time. Still need to make notes for Nuclear Chemistry though.
You know, whenever I see random messages from people in my Myspace inbox, a little shudder of "Oh no not again" goes through my entire being. Unless you are absolutely breathtaking and blow me away with your literacy and wit, there is not a faint hope of my adding you. =/ I mean, I don't even know you, and I don't know why you want to add me. Desperate I am not, because I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. READ. MY. LIPS. DDDD:
The chat/program/thing that wins for having the most creepy internet men find me is Skype. Russia, Iran, Bulgaria, South Africa, India... *insert shudder of fear here* You kind of suspect what they want when they message you, based on the fact that all your details say are that you're female, 18, and call yourself "Princess Rin". "Hey I'm going to be around your area, want to get in contact? I could show you things you don't know..."
Blech.
Homework approaches, but the medicine I'm taking seems to have a dulling effect on my panic receptors; I'm quite calm and relaxed about it... Even sleepy. Blasted flight tickets.

Inscribed at 04:51 a.m., while pondering my existence.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Mood: Lazy
Background Music: BoA - Moon and Sunrise
I'm officially moved into the student apartments. <3 Half my stuff is still strewn all over, but my clothes, bed, and general layout are settled. I need a vacuum; the bedframe, floor, and area are kinda gross.
Pictures of the room will be posted soon, once I get more into a settled mindframe. I'm also sick now, because of... I don't know what. My throat hurts and I can feel the inflamation, but the rest of me is sorta fine. I have class in an hour and 15 minutes, andI don't have to run to any bus. BAHAHAHA~

Inscribed at 11:29 p.m., while pondering my existence.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Mood: Content
Background Music: ...nothing, really.
I'm in the university's computer lab as I write this, because I've also just finished a section of my Chemistry lab stuff. I got my midterm for Chemistry back today, and scored 91%, which I think is a fair representation of how much I knew. I didn't study enough for the other parts, but I thank God I'm still able to secure a 4.0 GPA at the end of the day, or at least it looks like it.
Yeah! I'm moving soon from this place in Southgate. Been talking with the student housing directors at my uni college, and because I'm an international student and need a "special diet" (I find the cafe foods gross), I can move into the mature stuydent apartments. Yay! Friends are helping me move in by Friday night, now all I have to do is pray hard my landlords will find another tenant so we can break the lease.
Got class in 10 minutes, so I'll run now. Update more later. peace!

Inscribed at 12:14 p.m., while pondering my existence.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Mood: Spaced out
Background Music: Jared Martens - Like A Knife Piercing
I'm excited, thrilled, and not so sure about what, but it's a secret too! My imagination runs wild and takes with it all my dreams, spreading them on the edges of reality. This is so crazy, senseless, but I really don't care. If the slightest chance of this dream turning just a little real is there, I'll grasp it, and never let it go. Ever.
Also, HAPPY 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO ME AND MICHAEL! <3 I'll love you forever, my darling. Nothing in the world will ever come between us.
I'm all about songs today, aren't I? What can I say, my soul is music's.

Inscribed at 12:20 p.m., while pondering my existence.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Mood: Dissatisfied
Background Music: Olivia Lufkin - A Little Pain
Everytime I watch an episode of Nana, there's this unexplainable dissatisfaction within me, as if I want lives like that too. What happens when an anime comes too close to your dreams and thoughts? Obsession, that's what. Also, there is a little bubble of excitement at the prospect of moving into student apartments. As with every decision, there are pros and cons about my moving, but the pros outweigh the cons in this situation.
That biology midterm I was stressing over? Yeah, I was jubilant when I retrieved it from my box today. I'd been guilt-tripping and making myself feel awful about not being prepared enough, even after writing the test, that I honestly didn't expect such a good mark. Especially after your professor announces that the class average was 62.5%. Sure gives you a lot of confidence. However, THANK YOU GOD for hte 93% I scored. You directed my studies, and blessed my efforts so much lately...
Conceptual, conceptual. Things like that make me want to continue my schooling, and think, "Hey! It's not so bad." At the same time, that inner urge gnaws inside of me, telling me to release my dreams, to let them turn into reality... To get out of the winter of my soul and let that summery power overwhelm my entire self.
Shane took me to see River Valley today, and Allen came along. It was gorgeous; the river flowed freely, and the trees were multicolored, in shades of green, yellow, red... And it was snowing lightly. The ice crystals dotted my hair and coat, and they felt pretty. My favourite season is approaching fast to match the coldness of my heart. We'll be good friends.

Inscribed at 02:09 p.m., while pondering my existence.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Mood: Embarrassed
Background Music: Angela Aki - Kiss Me Goodbye
Narcissism is bad for my health. I'm considering retiring from it and focusing on becoming a better person. I'm not particularly pretty, but I like to believe I am by doing all sorts of strange poses and wearing strange clothes to hide. It's giving me a false confidence, which gets easily ruptured whenever anyone gives me a bad comment about my looks. I can't place confidence in anything, apart from God.
Funny how it takes so long to realize that. In Philosophy, we spoke of how all our human efforts fail, and we eventually confront the divine. Look, you may do amazing in sports, or studies, or whatever else you may do, but it's all fucked up. It's a cruel way to undermine you, because whatever it is you've achieved, someone else does better than you. Maybe I should just stop caring about everything and go Bohemian. Why should I become a productive citizen, consumer, what the fuck else? I love music, and music fills my life. Heck, I don't even talk about math or science once I leave the class.
I want to sing, burst forth, and share music with everyone. Music is beautiful, and can do anything. There's so much I don't know about the industry, and right now, it's this elusive, ethereal dream that hangs right above, out of my reach. I'm gonna grow, damn it. Grow and reach, higher than that dream could ever be and do it all.

Inscribed at 04:32 a.m., while pondering my existence.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Mood: Feelgood
Background Music: Yuna Ito - Stuck on You
It's been a lazy day. Calculus and chemistry await me, but I couldn't be less bothered; the week has tired me out, and a day of slack has been long deserved. I can't quite place how I feel today, but I'm feeling good. The stress zits are clearing up. Besides that, there's something I've noticed about my writing. Whenever my mind is focused and actually thinking about what's being typed, most of my sentences do not begin with "I". However, if my mind isn't focused and it's sort of spilling out details, every sentence pretty much begins with "I". It's kind of sad.
I camwhor'd today again, being bored. However, it didn't cheer me too much. Maybe a dance is in order, to some of m-flo's happy stuff, or an episode of Nana to quench my romance lobe. But first, enjoy this adorable video by Yuna Ito, and her song "Stuck on You"!

And followed by the video, here are some of the pictures I took. The one that looks like it was copied from Mika Nakashima's pose on her LOVE album was intentional. I am celebrating autumn's transition to winter. As for the other three, I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe I tried to dress like a princess but found I didn't have enough flouncy, lacy dresses, so I modified it. Ha...

Inscribed at 11:40 a.m., while pondering my existence.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Mood: Distracted
Background Music: Tommy february6 - Je t'aime * je t'aime
So I finished my "last" major midterm today; it was Biology. The questions were sort of VERY conceptual and thankfully, covered most of the stuff I deemed worthy of memorization. I'm a little disturbed at how I have to keep on my toes at college and keep feeling like I don't do enough. It's like there's no space to breathe. Oh well.
Since I watched Nana with Dustin, I've been craving more. Now, I'm in the process of downloading the rest of the series... ^_^ Mmm, band. I want a band. Singing makes me so happy, and so does dressing up.
Noticed the new chatbox thing? The old tagboard was acting up. And disappeared. Michael's sick, and I wish I was there to take care of him. I also wish I was back in Malaysia, to be with Rae... And Ran... And I miss mum and dad.

Inscribed at 01:02 p.m., while pondering my existence.