While in the bible is clearly written that the husband is to take up leadership role in his household, immediately following this verse is a verse that instructed husbands to love their wives, just as Christ love the church.
You may ask me how much is that kind of love. Let me tell you that whether you believe in the gospel or not, Christ loved His people so much that He lay down His life for them. And that's the power of the Cross. That's how big the love is and that's the benchmark that was given to husbands. Because Jesus first loved us.
Many of you do not accept the idea of submission. Let me share with you that in the christian context, submission is first foremost to God. Submission is an act of humility. Submission is an act of surrender to God's authority. That's why so many people reject Jesus. Because believing in the cross is the same as surrendering to Him and making Him, Lord of your life. You can't surrender to God if you think you can manage life on your own.
With different roles played by husbands and wives, it does NOT mean that wives have a dimished role in the family. Yes, women are created as a helper for men. But if you read the bible, it is clearly written also that Eve (world's first woman) was made out of a rib in Adam's chest.
Eve is made out from Adam's rib for a reason. God did not use part of Adam's skull so that Eve will not be above him. Nor did God use any bone that came from Adam's lower part of his body so that Eve will not be under him. But from the rib, it signifies that eve is to stand beside adam.
Some of you feel offended by my postings and views recently. Perhaps yu have your own thinking and intepretation. Perhaps you do not believe in God and His Words (the Bible).
The teachings in the Bible will only be received by those who know and loved God.
Here's the passage:
"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband" (Ephesians 5:21-33).
Submission to a husband does not mean a woman is to be a slave in bondage to that man, but rather it is to be a mutual submission in love. The above scripture says we are to submit unto each other. Submission means to yield or "to set yourself under." From this definition we see we are to yield to one another instead of demanding our own way. Both husband and wife should be submissive and loving.
Wednesday, September 24, 2003
12:42 p.m.
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I feel dumb for making that sacred first move. Now I don't know whether to 1) Make myself thickskin and continue OR 2) Forget it all together.
Wednesday, September 24, 2003
12:18 a.m.
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For those who wants to know, in Christian context, asking a wife who submit to her husband is not MC. That is a biblical truth and requirement.
As Christ is the head of the church, so is the husband the head of the family. And in return, the husband has to love his wife as Christ love the church.
Wednesday, September 24, 2003
12:07 a.m.
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BioFluid Quiz due tomorrow, or rather, later in the afternoon. Just came from Danny's hse. Ken, Lio and I are quite shock to see a zombified Danny, where he went off to bed to "rest a while" which turned out to be a full concussed sleep. In the end, we didn't want to wake him up, so spend the evening talking to Eve (his wife). Talked about girls (what else!), ministry and where we are heading for the next 3 months.
And we were given 4 words as we look for our wives.
F - Faithful
A - Availability
S - Submissive
T - Teachability
Though F-A-S-T is a good guideline, we have to make sure we ourselves exhibit these 4 qualities. :)
Sunday, September 21, 2003
12:24 a.m.
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Big rain this morning. Lasted all the way before service at 5pm. It would have been a great morning sleep if not for my poetry workshop class today.
Had lunch with LT today. And since one side of her sandals was on the verge of "becoming two", we went parkway and shop for a new pair. She got a nice elegant-looking black heels but commented that it wouldn't be suitable when she's teaching.
Sunday, September 21, 2003
12:17 a.m.
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Finally, I am coming out of my "retirement" from soccer tomorrow. Guess my sundays have all been taken up by BH and now after the long-awaited break has arrived, I can put on my boots once again.
Hope my legs can still run.
Friday, September 19, 2003
06:04 p.m.
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A cardia-heart surgeon from SGH came to give a talk during today's biomechanics lecture class. Extremely interesting as he talked about heart valves and their failure modes, various mechanical designs of such valves and methods of implantation.
And we saw on video what a heart bypass graft operation looks like. Yah, our SM Lee has that quite so years ago and I can tell you the novel method of fixing a leg vein to the wall of artery is ingenious. Works like a staple except for a punching mechanism.
Most of us were awed by the most graphical video clips I have watched in a long time. Hope that the biomedical fields in Singapore can really take off.
Thursday, September 18, 2003
10:48 p.m.
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What I have done on my program so far isn't what my FYP wanted. Apparently, I was too technical and too deep in my focus. (???) I don't really know how to do programming and have been learning from scratch with just two programming textbks that I have bought. But it's all about the supervisor; to give him what he wants...
For another project (M401), it was actually much better. My partner and I managed to churn out all our solutions and we are going to meet again tmr at 8am to finalise and print our report (this means I have to wait up at unearthly time).
But still, I can at last heave a sigh that a project is near completion.
And regarding the BH practice just now, I will be better next week. I promise.
Thursday, September 18, 2003
12:17 a.m.
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Change my heart O God
Make it ever true
Change my heart O God
May I be like you.
You are the potter, I am the clay
Mould me and make me
This is what I pray.
I pray this for the family of God that I'm in. Pray that everyday, we will be transformed into Jesus's image more and more. That our hearts will always be teachable and tender for Him.
Tuesday, September 16, 2003
12:18 a.m.
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One of the longest day I ever went through. The MRT train rides has porbably "killed" me if anything. I would have covered every train station in singapore if the northeast line are not included.
My day ended at changi airport by sending the second BH gal in 4 days. Kel's going to UK for foreign exchange (seems like its the latest craze now for tertiary students). And this is the first time I ever send a person off whereby I am way early than the person departing. ZQ and Jia were there too, and we were made to wait at Coffee-Club Express until Kel arrives about 1 hour before the flight timing.
I sound sulky becos I didn't had my dinner yet and I can't buy any food at this time. =(
Saturday, September 13, 2003
10:22 p.m.
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Rock cimbing day at Yishun Safra! And I managed to reach the top today. (Okay, it was one of the easier walls, but still an achievement!) Hehehe, though I feel I was using brute arm power force for the second half of the wall. Arms are rather sore, but it's nice to see them bulging for once. Hahahaha.
Trying hard to fight sleep today. Even had to doze off for a nap at home for 15 minutes before I leave again for church service.
Today's sermon was absolutely revelating. It really concides with what I was reading from the Bible just this week.
Life is Love. But God is Love. So Life is ALL about God. :)
1 John 4:8 --> The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
Friday, September 12, 2003
09:53 p.m.
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Send Jaq off at the airport this morning. But before that, I had breakfast with zq at BK there. Yah, you may say it's illogical to wake up at unearthly hour just to have breakfast at the airport, but we aren't thinking then. Hahahaha.
Familar faces that send her off too were MH and YY. Though Jaq was trying to put on a brave face at the departure hall. I dun know. But she went off in a cool manner by not looking back after going into the boarding area. A six months before we get to see her.
After which Zq and I went over to YY house for don't-know-what-thing. In the end, after the playing og her yangqin and the lunch session with them, I had to go back to nap.
-yawn- Still sleepy. =P
Thursday, September 11, 2003
11:42 p.m.
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Was suppose to have a meeting with my FYP supervisor in the afternoon. But what happened was he was too busy and in the end, I had about 5 minutes to present whatever I have done. =/ Nevermind lah, we have plenty of meetings every week..
Practices was resumed at BH. Attendance was alittle low. The usual core members that aren't around were Kel, Jaq, Jia, jianyuan and Mi. Jaq and Kel are flying off tmr and on monday respectively, so I can expect attendance to be lower? Hai.
Played a song that wex himself wrote sometime back. Wah seh. So talented. The song was suppose to be some (sad) story between Jia and someone, but wex forgot about it already. Hahahahaha..couldn't get him to share it with us during our Mac time.
Thursday, September 11, 2003
02:38 p.m.
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I blew up at people(again) just this morning. Twice to be exact. At that point in time, I really just feel like chewing them.
But I recognise it's not helping. No point at all. And worst when I am starting to feel the strains on my body each time I get angry.
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
11:27 p.m.
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I have been super-irritable recently. And everytime I lose my cool, I would regret later at how insignificant the things are.
Maybe I need patience. God could be teaching me something(s). I don't know. As for now, I'm trying my best not to step on other peoples' toes (too often).
Tomorrow's my weekly FYP presentation. I hope what I have managed to squeeze out so far will be sufficent for tomorrow. Yah, even though I couldn't really finish what was being planned, still went for a practice session at BH. YX, JUN and ZQ were there also. And for our parting shot, we played a 4-instruments lullaby piece. Hahaha, so tonite should be a good night of rest.
God, help me to be more like Jesus.
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
02:20 a.m.
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Spend the morning in school today helping a master student install a program onto his PC. The afternoon was then spend trying to get someone (anyone) to have lunch with me. Guess I am the type who feels meals should be enjoyable and as possible, be in the company of friends. In the end, managed to get Derrick from NIE who was also trying to find someone to eat lunch. Hahaha, nearly thought it will one of those lonely lunches. =)
Afternoon was pretty sulky for me. Don't know why. Not trying to blame it on bad mood or whatever. Still, I should learn to smile more and look farther that what I am seeing now. Studying was relatively fruitless still, big chunks of tutorial still undone and textbooks uncovered.
Okay, enuff of studies. Today's guy bonding session with dan, lio and ken at dan's hse was really good. We talked about alot of issues and including our all-time favourite topic, gals!! Well, the 3 of us (dan's married) are still single, so it's natural for us. Don't worry, our chat were decent, being the godly christian folks we are (I hope!^_^ ).
Finally, we adjourned to Jalan Kayu for supper where we talked alot about shares, contra, futures, investments, bonds and watever money stuff you can think of. Thought I learned alot from that 2 hour session just listening to them.
Monday, September 8, 2003
11:24 p.m.
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-BOO-
I failed my electronics online quiz. Could have taken it well if not for the fact that the rest of my friends scored 80% and above! And the fact of the matter is, we all took turns doing the quiz (we had the entire day), and so while one person is trying to beat the 10 minute timing, the remaining 8 heads or so chip in to help with the answers.
And I still can't believe it. They were like, so confident of the answers, which I really find weird. But then, since it was a "group effort", I went ahead. Yah, after the results, they then mutter something about them being wrong and shrug off, leaving me cold.
Not blaming them for failing. Wouldn't do that. I should have known better.
-Yay!-
Changed my erhu bow today to a slightly longer one, all thanks to shuinan and...BH! =P It was of a dark, red colored type, which matches my erhu. But pretty tramautising, apparently, the bow needs seasoning, it being new.
Not to mention the significant weight and length differences the new bow had from the old one. It's back to more basics for me (again).
Sunday, September 7, 2003
11:54 p.m.
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About to drop onto my bed. Utterly exhausting. Went out of my house at 9am and only just came back. Had a Mid-Atummn performance at a condominium celebration event. SN, JY, ZQ and myself went early to BH for LiangXiao practices, which turned out alright. And surprise surprise, MH lived there. And she sat with us throughout the performance, in her "PT-kit" =P
Though the very tiring part is that we had to sit at the "garden" for 2hours, and play as long as the organiser wants us to. We only prepared 5 songs, so in the end, the songs are reused..which wasn't enough to meet the quota. Hahaha, then we had all the impromtu solos and Xie2 Zou4s. The zhongruan song was not bad. Poor wex had to play twice becos of some technicial problems (lousy speakers). And to take the organisers didn't prepare any mikes for us initially. Gasp.
Yah, not to mention the "lighting effects". Sat beside Zq where we continue ranting about the lack of lighting thoughout the performance. They had powerful lights, except that with so many ppl moving around, they kinda of block them out. Think BH members who getting sore eyes tmr...
Hai, got a electronics quiz tomorrow in school (yes, even though it's my 1 week break now, still have to go back). And I didn't study much. As usual.. =(
Sunday, September 7, 2003
01:02 a.m.
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Been staring at my computer screen till late last night, so my eyes are a little sore now. Trying to do some interface design and programming then. Think I have to be the only student who does his FYP at home, and only at home. Actually went to the PCshop at NTU to check out the laptop prices and student loans available for it. Guess it's a little out of my current budget at the moment, so my 3 year old PC will have to do.
I had my first poetry recital today in class. Actually, I have forgotten all about the assignment (I was that busy). What we have to do is to select any poem, and recite it in front of class, while taking note of emotions and articulation of words and their tones.
After a little panicky moments, I decided to present my "W.C" poem. Hehehe, if you guys been reading this blog, I posted my W.C poem just a few entries ago.
But in the end, it seems good! The tutor finds it very interesting and I had my frens laughing throughout. Hahahaha! Think I got a good imagery prompt here in a toilet bowl. =P
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Shared the Word during DG today, regarding the need to remind ourselves to be Christ-like everyday; to be more like Jesus.
But think the hearts wasn't prepared to receive it...
But like what Dan said, even if I want to go to the valley, I can't go. Not when so many others are in there right now. Got to be the strong.
Friday, September 5, 2003
11:33 p.m.
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I amazed myself today. By simply going down each item on my priority list at double quick speed.
So I managed to write a poem in 5 minutes flat. I don't know where the words came from, just simply wrote three stanzas and the paper got chucked aside.
Even managed to squeeze in a 45minute erhu practicing time. Hahaha, so quite a fruitful day.
Handphone is still out though. Nokia Center gave the reason that they need more time to diagnose the problem(s). Oh well, I will just tong3 with my trusty old motorola Hp.
Thursday, September 4, 2003
11:48 p.m.
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To see how much of the stuff I have planned to do today but is still UNCOMPLETED, take a look at the following list:
1)Write and submit letter poem.
-I haven't submit the poem to my tutor yet. In fact, I didn't even write it. And I am still clueless as how to start writing. No inspiration. A low on my priority list, what to do?
2)Complete FYP Computer Interface Design.
-Still untouched. And during the fyp meeting today, I was the only one without hard, concrete evidence of completed work. Argh.
3)Prepare the Word session for this saturday's cell group.
-Undone also.
Yah, there is some sim-card to handphone connection errors with my hp. So send it for repairs at the Nokia service center. So I am uncontactable for the time being. Actually, as I look back, I asked how *not too long ago* ppl can survive without pagers and handphones. We really have become too dependent on them.
Haven't been this stressed for quite sometime. I am glad I manage to find an outlet today at BH practice for the mini MidAtummn performance this coming sunday. The Mac session was crapping, as usual. Guess laughing my head off with good friends is really theraputic.
Thursday, September 4, 2003
12:02 a.m.
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I am sitting here, pretty stoned. Have a chunk of assignments to do, plus a FYP meeting tmr afternoon to prepare. Still, I am stoning here.
Still, I am preoccupied with certain things in mind. Lets just say that one shouldn't impose too much expectations on one another, even close frens.
Wednesday, September 3, 2003
12:57 a.m.
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The past two days have been packed, from FYP to quiz mugging to rushing of assignments. But at least I learned to prioritise them, which helped me alot. Yah, I will write all the things that are needed to be done on a paper early in the morning and rank them according to IMPORTANCE. And then I will start from the top, progressing downwards until all are done (which haven't happen, yet).
So there is some sense of acheivement when each item on the list is being struck off. But it can be a pain when the same list comes up filled again the next day.
Tough times don't last but tough men do.
Sunday, August 31, 2003
11:11 p.m.
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Resolutions for the Month of September:
1) When you have nothing good to say, don't say it.
2) Say more positive words of encouragments than criticisms.
I should start on them right away.
Thursday, August 28, 2003
11:14 p.m.
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Okay, this is my 2nd attempt at writing a poem. Hope you guys can give some comments on it. By the way, I have send the poem to my lecturer, so hopefully it doesn't get thrown back. Hahaha, read and you will know what I mean.
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Imagery Prompts
-Write a poem that portrays an ordinary object from a radically point of view. Use concrete imagery and ironic comedy where possible.
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W.C
The Great White Throne
Seat of Power,
Fit for a king.
A place of solitude.
Succession of kings and queens,
All gloriously crowned
With a chilling morning smile.
I'm next in line.
Issuing my decree in white paper fold
Celebratory fountains herald my presence
Till the time arrives,
For another to take my place,
The throne shall be mine alone.
**W.C = Water Closet, or better known as Toilet Bowl**
PS: If you are laughing right now, this shows that my poem has done what its suppose to do! Yay!
Thursday, August 28, 2003
11:06 p.m.
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Spend a good part of my afternoon going around shopping with my FYP supervisor. Yup, we went funan to buy ourselves a box of Visual Basic Software. Haiz, guess it's good time for me to start on my final year project.
Was quite a good trip. Other than the occasional wrong turns here and there, we actually manage to get what we wanted, for a cool $188. The money is all paid for by the school, so alright lar.
But we did chat for the whole of 3 hours, and guess wat? MY FYP sup was formerly from FCBC (my church) too. And he was in the pioneering cell group with pastor senglee!! Talk about an extremely small world.
We talk quite a lot. Ranging from computer games, to students' love life, to cars, to handphones, to what-have-you. Really great talking. At least I get to know my supervisor alot better. =))))
Then it's our BHCO's Qing4 Gong1 Yan4 in the evening. The food was alright actually, not fantastic. But still VERY expensive at 16 dollars per head. After which is about an hour of chitchatting before everyone gets tired and leave.
And Jaq and Kel are leaving soon..hope we can organise something as a farewell gathering? Maybe a badminton game?
Tuesday, August 26, 2003
11:20 p.m.
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Heaviest rain ever for a long time. I can't even see 3 meters away from my fren's car's windowscreen. But thank God, we made back home safe.
So finally, I will get my hands on an original visual basic program software. Will be going with my FYP supervisor to funan to buy one. Buying the program will probably mean I will get much busier since the FYP project offically gets underway. Haiz...
Monday, August 25, 2003
07:58 p.m.
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Biomaterial quiz was okay. But the sunday mugging for it wasn't. Well, at least I think will do reasonably well. =)
Happen to see AIK and TW (both SRJC classmates) on my way home from toapayoh mrt. Stayed, chat and went for dinner with them. It has been a long time since I last saw them, so quite alot of catching up. Yah, and they say that there will be a SRJC-S09 class gathering next week.
Though I must admit, they are really nice ppl to be with, save for a few. The few who always take potshots at me; personal jokes or just simply just making fun.
Guess we have all grown up from then. Or have we?
Sunday, August 24, 2003
09:29 p.m.
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Don't feel too good now. In fact, I feel terrible. But it's something that can't be helped. So I have to learn to get on with it.
Just called the erhu teacher. I took pains to explain to her my predicament and hence I will have to stop going for her lessons. Said that when things get better, I will call again.
So that's it. It's solely up to me now, self-practice and self-realisation.
Still trusting God to provide.
Sunday, August 24, 2003
01:36 a.m.
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A trip down my childhood
Had a good time talking to a fren about our childhood. The games we played, the cartoons we watched, the things we do. All of which are so fondly remembered.
Games like poison ball, 1 leg, zero point...err, only those in our era will know what we are talking about. =P Plus all the cartoons! Gummy Bears! Transformers! Smurfs! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
I remember my childhood quite vividly actually. Spending all my time on modelings (aircrafts and boats), assessments books and tutions, tuitions and more tuitions. Haiz, sad hor? Yah, I play lotsa of toy soldiers also.
Those were the days.
Friday, August 22, 2003
12:06 a.m.
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This is the virgin poem I wrote in poetry class last saturday. We had pictures and paintings placed all over the classroom and were asked to decide on one and write a poem reflecting the feelings we get from looking at them.
I chose a painting depicting a battle with a knight in white armour in combat with "dark creatures". Also, I was writing the poem with someone in mind, hoping to reflect some of the things he/she is facing.
To my friend: This poem is for you. Life is tough. Hope you find the strength to push towards the goals you want. Treasure yourself. We do.
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The Great Escape
Crowding and swarming
They chant and howl
Stomping their feet to a diabolic beat
Beckoning me to dance with them
A tingling urge fill my feet
"Join in!" they cried
Merry away while it last
For who on earth will care
Surrendering to my desires
Too enticing to resist
I yield to the sharp edge
What can I do?
Old stains on the blade still unwashed
A familiar path lies ahead
Gushing of red river heard afar
Scars hiding the untold pain
But isn't there a way out?
To find that great escape
Running to wherever light still shines
Another battle awaits come someday
Thursday, August 21, 2003
11:58 p.m.
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Went back to BH just now even though there is a 1 month break after our august VCH concert. yingyun, junbin, jiaqi, jiajia, youxia, zhiqiang, weixiang and yingjie were there today. Was planning to prac my erhu (which I did). =)
We spend most of the time practicing our instruments with the gals taking turns on the piano. Wow, didn't know that almost all the girls in BH know the piano.
Yah, the last 45 minutes is a mad rush to clear a 2 layer cupboard of all it's "junk". Found more than a dozen erhu instructional books and a couple of other instruments too. So much material, yet if youxia didn't look into that cupboard, we wouldn't even know.
After which we left for macs where we held a lengthy conversation on topics ranging from the cartoons we watched as a child to labour pains to pulling of earrings. Hahahaha.
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
11:05 p.m.
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I was browsing through my folders and found this long forgotten notepad. It was an Ink-Blot test result that I did on the net a long while back. Was supposed to be a test that reveals your sub-concious mind. Anyway, I thought it has to be the best descriptive stuff to explain the things I am going through right now. Why is it so true? Hmmm...
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Caleb, your unconscious mind is driven most by Curiosity
This means you are full of questions about life, people, and the potential of your future. You spend more time than others envisioning the possibilities of your life things that others are too afraid to consider.
Your curiosity burns with an almost physical need to know and do more. It's only through new experiences that you feel a greater understanding of yourself or the world which ultimately is the greatest way for you to feel satisfied.
It is possible that the underlying reason for your drive towards curiosity is a deeply rooted fear of boredom. That means that you are probably more susceptible than others to feel like you're falling into a rut when life slows down into a comfortable routine.
You need to make sure you have stimulation in your life that makes you feel like you're innovating or being exposed to the ideas and experiences that truly inspire you.
With such a strong orientation towards curiosity, you're also prone to a rebellious quality that shows up when you feel you are just going through the motions, and are unable to really influence the world around you. But interestingly enough, your drive towards novel experiences also indicates an openness others don't have, but wish they did.
Unconsciously, your curiosity presses you to learn more, experience more, and get the most out of life.
Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Curiosity, there is much more to who you are at your core.
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
10:03 p.m.
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I Asked God
I asked God to take away my pride.
And God said "No".
He said it was not for him to take away,
but for me to give up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
And God said "No".
He said her spirit was whole,
her body was only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience.
And God said "No".
He said patience is a by-product of tribulations.
It isn't granted, it is earned.
I asked God to give me happiness.
And God said "No".
He said he gives me blessings,
happiness is up to me.
I asked God to spare me pain.
And God said "No".
He said suffering draws you apart from worldly cares
and brings you closer to me.
I asked God to make my spirit grow.
And God said "No".
He said I must grow on my own.
But he will prune me to make me fruitful.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life.
And God said "No".
He said I will give you life,
that you may enjoy all things.
I ask God to help me love others,
as much as He loves me.
And God said,
Ah, finally you have the idea.
~~ Claudia Minden Welcz
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
10:54 a.m.
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One of the best mornings I had in a while. Woke up feeling a little drained but a big packet of shrimp dumpling noodles and hot tea solved it. After which I spend the morning watching SongFei's instructional video on LiangXiao and SaiMa. I tell you, SongFei is so power! Ok lah, I don't know much descriptive words, so "POWER" it is. =P
There were alot of new things that were covered in just that 10 minute video each, so it's up to me to translate them all into actual playing. New things that may take me forever to realise. Talking about realising things yourself, SuiNan was sharing with me last night that during one of his GE classes, his lecturer brought them to see an indian music master. And this master said that one cannot be too dependent on the teacher else he will never be truly good in his instrument. The teacher can only give at most 20% and the rest of the 80% is done by student's hardwork and self realisation.
Words of wisdom, yah? I like the self realisation thing.
Monday, August 18, 2003
07:21 p.m.
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Okay, the verdict of the biomechanics quiz. My dear fren and I felt completely "smoked" after it. Win liao, we spend so much time studying for the quiz at the library in the morning and in the end, the quiz was fully from the very very last apart part of last week's lecture. And of course, we didn't touch it at all with the immense amount of stuff that need to be covered. Haiz.
So since I didn't memorise the equations, I just tried to deduce them on the spot. Yah, in the end, my solution was a complicated looking one. Well, what's new? =P
Sunday, August 17, 2003
11:08 p.m.
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Went mugging for a biomechanics quiz for the whole of my evening. Okay lar, but my frens are pretty stressed over this module. Wonder why I am still calm over the quiz tomorrow. Hmmm, we see how lah.
Saturday, August 16, 2003
11:36 p.m.
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3rd poetry workshop session and we are required to start writing out first poem already. My lecturer brought several paintings into class and asked us to chose one and write a poem based on what you feel as you look at the picture. A great struggle at first, but in the end, I managed to churn out my first every virgin poem! *applauds for me* The poem needs alot of tuning and improvement, so will get it finished before I post it here k? =)
Spend the afternoon in school library today testing out the erhu instructional vcds and studying for a biomechanics quiz this coming monday. In turned out that 5 of the 10 VCDs are unwatchable. =( But good old wex offered to help me burn them! Yay.
Talking about wex, he went for the Great Escape magic show with me just now at suntec. I must say I enjoyed the chinese show much more than the english one. The sermon is very good and had good illustrations. But a pity and disappointment that wex didn't accept Jesus then.
But nevertheless, I will continue to pray that one day, he will.
Friday, August 15, 2003
11:04 p.m.
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My most grateful thanks to Da4 Nui2 (daniel) for helping me to borrow this particular erhu 10-part instructional VCD plus music scores. (it's free for me since he already paid the yearly esplanade library subcription) And best of all, he burned all 10 VCDs for me!! *WOW* It's really very nice of him to do that. Will do my best to make full use of the vcds and make them count. =)
Anyway, I want to share an incident that happened while dicussing my Mechanics Machining Project with my group mates. I don't know the details but apparently, there was this girl in my group who was particularly upset at the way I talk, esp to her. (HUH?) So what happened was that she became increasely irritated whenever I come into the project discussion. In the end, it nearly became a verbal free-for-all becos I couldn't understand what was happening and I became angry myself. All I know was that this girl was raising her voice and blasting whatever I said.
In the end, for the sake of the group, I apologised to her afterwards. I still dun know why she has to react in that manner. But aiya, I find it very petty anyway. So going to drop it and just be extra-careful in my words.
Went for the Great Escape Magic Shows at suntec. Really packed crowd tonite. Music is a little bit too loud for me, but is enjoyable overall. The sermon by Pastor Kwong was really good. I hope the responses from the people will be the same for the next few shows.
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
09:57 p.m.
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How much is the worth of a person?
My answer: As much as the person believes he/she is worth. He is worth much if he believes he's worth that much. He is worth nothing if he believes he's worth nothing.
Jesus's answer: You are worth my life, which I have given up for you.
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How precious is life to you? I know of ppl who doesn't give a care about their own life, simply to just let themselves rot. Some feel that they will just go with the flow. And some ppl dread life and believes it's a torturous experience just to live
But I have many others, who believe it is a joy and a miracle to be able to breathe, to feel, to touch, to sense and to create. I have many others who treat every single day as their last and gave their best to make the day fruitful as possible.
Why must someone dwell so much on his problems and get overwhelmed by his thinking that he fail to see that, like it or not, life and time will still go on. Why stay at one place and dig your death trench when you can move forward to better things? Why waste those precious time thinking about "have been" or "might be"?
I want to cry. Crying inside because ppl around me matters.
Is there anyway I can help carrying the load?
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
09:42 p.m.
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After some thinking, I decided to rub off all the markings, save one, off my erhu and restart all the basics again.
Yah, I agree that for the next few months, my yingzun is going to be even more horrible but I really do feel that it's for the long term. Can't depend on the markings all the time. And if the rest of the erhu players can/have done it without the markings, so can I.
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Will most probably quit the teacher that I'm currently learning from. That is unless I find an "income" to finance it. Really feel a regret that it has to be done. =( Currently feeling quite on the low side, esp when these things happened that are out of my control. Just got to keep praying that God will provide.
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
09:53 p.m.
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More reviews on the concert from my frens. Or rather, my own performance. They think that I don't have tai2 feng1 and asked that why can't I be like SN and "suay" around with the music. And that the rest of the guys are showing passion while I am more like a stone. Huh?
Somehow, I wondered about what another fren wrote in her blog regarding her taifeng, preferences and frens' comments. Maybe it's because last sunday was the first time I'm on stage and being extremely nervous, had to concentrate fully on getting the notes and rythme correct.
But then, isn't taifeng something that comes naturally? How can you instil or "force" that onto a musician?
Anyway, I wasn't affected. I just keep learning.
Monday, August 11, 2003
11:21 p.m.
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Concert withdrawal symptons. I am actually missing the CO practices now. And from what Yun said, it will be another month or two before CO practices every resume.
More comments and reviews over BHCO's concert last night came in today by my church and NTU frens. All had good to positive responses. And regarding xiangbing's explaination before each song, the reactions were quite mixed. My friends prefer the explanations because alot of them are hearing a CO concert for the first time.
Hahaha, maybe xb did overdo things little. But I felt the explanations were very good and it helped my friends ALOT.
Anyway, our HuaFeiHua has got to be our number song!! =P Our Long2 was favourites among my friends too. Think the highlight of the comments was that one of my female fren, paid mention that she was fighting tears at our BaiShe because it was so touching. =)))) jj would have been glad to hear that.
Sunday, August 10, 2003
10:51 p.m.
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I am exhausted, but am utterly satisfied. Yup, it has been a fantastic virgin concert for me. You guess it, I can't sleep at all last night! Was tossing around until 3.30am and woke up to read through my music scores. So manage to sleep at around 5am. Woke up at 8am to go BHCC for music scores and instrument preparations.
Yah. I couldn't eat my lunch also. The afternoon rehearsal was pretty energy sapping and quite alot of us were tired before the actual thing starts. But I was jumpy as predicted.
ChuanGe was so-so, though JB thinks it's the fault of VCH's acoustics. YangGuan was normal also? But BaiShe, which is our main song, was quite well-received. Oh yah, did I mention that I was near panic on stage for the first half. My hands are so tense...and I can feel my heart pounding away as I play.
But 2nd half was way way much better, for me. Hehehe, in the end, our huafeihua and long2 were great! Most of my frens who came for the concert commented that the last 2 songs were really good. =))) *happy*
The day ended with a frantic rush to return the instruments to BHCC and we all had KFC and pizza for dinner.
Haiz, I really hope to recapture this moment again. Really, I feel that I had parts to improve on but on my current abilities and standard, I have done my best. Yay!
Sunday, August 10, 2003
12:00 a.m.
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I didn't practice at all for the past two days. =) Taking the advice of shuinan who thinks that going through the scores by just reading it before the concert is enough. Yah, practicing too hard before the main concert would be too tiring. Hehe, so it has been a nua national day!
Meet up with my DG and after sometime of praying for our nation, we went to buy ourselves some icecream. Under lio's recommendation, we bought "Heavenly Treats", and I tell you, it got to be one of the best ice cream i ever eaten. The lime-vanilla flavour is power!!
Yao asked me if I am too excited to sleep tonight for the "big" day tmr. Actually, until then, i was pretty relaxed. Now, the more I think, the more ganchiong I become. Hahahaha, okay, better go play some PC games to occupy my mind. =P
Oh yah, did I mention also that the black shirt I bought with shuinan the other day was really hard to iron? =/ Really, really hard. Must be the cotton material.
Friday, August 8, 2003
12:15 a.m.
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Just turned 12am. So it's 2 more days to BHCO's concert day. I am all jacked up and good to go! =p
The last practice just now certainly was enjoyable. Almost every1 was in a very relaxed mood, and xiangbing was exceptionally funny.
Yes! We sold 80% of our concert tickets. Hehehe, it is quite a miracle, considering the ticket sales 2 weeks ago. =D
A few more days before one of my dreams will fulfil. And prayerfully BHCO can perform to whatever expections xiangbing and the audience wishes for us. Yah, did I mention that the composer, Mr Lou Wei Lun will also be present?
Wednesday, August 6, 2003
01:19 a.m.
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Dear Dan,
As you most probably know, I have taken note of all the points mentioned during today's session and will use a majority in my meeting with iv and seb. Will be going to hit hard on the attitudes that we should have and change, whether we like it or not...because that's spiritual growth. A choice of obedience is almost always hard and unlikable...but that's the walk we got to take. And only through obedience can we allow ourselves be an instrument for God.
Pretty much struggling now. Esp with my family's finances in bad shape. May/Will be calling up a tuition agency soon to look up for job assignments tat can fit into whatever time I have left.
It's probably my biggest test I faced in terms of physical and monetary needs. I wish I have the strength to say that God will supply all my needs and believing it. I get jealous and envy ppl ard me who are doing well or are well provided for, to be honest. And questioned God many occasions becos of that. Sometimes, I reflect many times on pastor kwong's sermon on the Jabez prayer and it's a struggle to claim it after all this while. You walked the same road before, maybe even worst than what I am experiencing, so thought you should be able to understand.
But I am still believing that God will still supply for all my family needs, according to His riches. That should make me a "rich" man. Maybe not in the monetary sense i guess.
-xiong
Tuesday, August 5, 2003
10:25 a.m.
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I woke up today feeling worst than last night. =( So I am starting my antibotics prescription, and only as my last resort, will I take the stronger flu medication that the doc added in as a precaution. Yah, you guess it, the supposely stronger flu medication makes you groggy...but which flu medication doesn't..hmm..
Pretty lousy time to fall sick.
Haiz, still have lessons today. So sick or not, I am going school.
Monday, August 4, 2003
11:22 p.m.
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Just finished practicing my erhu. Took me 2 and a half hours of playing to confirm something. That I have a serious problem of ying1 zun3, that is irritating and simply refuses to go away no matter the efforts.
Even playing with a tuner and markings doesn't help. It's like an itch that seems to be coming from under your skin and no amount of scratching will ease it.
Sunday, August 3, 2003
02:01 a.m.
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There's a popular Psalm in the Bible. It's Psalm 23.
Sometimes, people know it as the shepherd's psalm.
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A Psalm of David.
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters.
3 He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name's sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
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All (almost) christians will know the shepherd's psalm. Some christians can recite the shepherd's psalm by hard.
But how many of them really know the shepherd?
Sunday, August 3, 2003
01:40 a.m.
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I had my longest cell group time ever. We (all guys) trashed things out thru and thru. Believe also that I shared as openly and honestly as possible.
The sharing session was really men to men. Everyone say their grievances and misunderstandings in the group. I'm really glad. It showed the progress of our group from where we started.
Felt abit paiseh for using valion's home for so long...all the way till 1130pm! That has to be some record for our cell group..haha.
Many things had happened, and how we react will bring us to a higher or lower level. As what I see, things were cleared up and there is a much greater level of understanding. We should grow more from here. :)
I yearn for a family. My cell group is my family.
