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 The GrayFox's Den Rantings.... |
Friday, January 31, 2003
08:32 p.m.
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But cny still bears little meaning to me after all these years. And today’s dinner was one of the more forgettable ones. So what’s new? Planning my holiday schedule now; Not going to let one day pass without doing/learning something that I always wanted to do. Friday, January 31, 2003 12:48 a.m. ___________________________________________
That's all. Wednesday, January 29, 2003 08:38 p.m. ___________________________________________
Am I hurt? Yes. Am I angry? Not really. Do I feel that no one seems to understand? Absolutely. I resorted to sms so as to try and get some support and understanding. My conclusion is that many people are BETTER OFF NOT replying. They either vex me with silly replies or just gave me the idea that they are saying “Hey, its your problem. Not mine. -Shrug-”. But today has been amazing. Felt so blessed when I saw friends who did came in and gave support to where it’s most needed. Thank you to all of you. R, J and L, who stood up for me at the HR office and went out of their ways to get me those elusive entitlement. S and Y, who were concerned with my well-being. E, who promptly took action and chided me for being “soft”, while settling my administrative matters within a single day for me. Thank you to the 2 operators who went out of their way who helped set up my “dismantling” station when I was so lost at doing it. Thank you to the auntie who offered up her wrist strap for me when mine was spoilt. And also to the SIX technicians who came in one big horde and provide “manpower” to chisel out those bloody tough pivot screws. Though we only did manage to dig out 7 screws with 200 more to go? Hahaha… I will go out and bless someone else in return. Tuesday, January 28, 2003 09:58 p.m. ___________________________________________
Yeah. Tuesday, January 28, 2003 03:36 p.m. ___________________________________________
I am not trying to prove anything…simply because I can’t. This sort of things happen when you discovered something that has been an absolute find in your entire life and you always want to share it with others, esp. your loved and close ones first. If it’s because of what I say or believe that others take offence in, I apologize. My conscience is still clear and I am standing by on what I felt, because it’s really how it was for me. Can’t deny it. To my dear friend: If the things that you are absolutely uncomfortable with surround you, you would most probably have reacted in the same as I did. I wouldn’t ask of you to see it from my point of view, because you are entitled yours. In a way, I am glad this happened. Yes, I was quite taken aback. But this shows that we have gotten known each other slightly better now. I am very tired now and my 4th midnight shift is coming up later. Hope you had a better rest than I did. Monday, January 27, 2003 04:35 p.m. ___________________________________________
But does it have to be me? You guys need an engineer to look after them, not a student attachee. What? You are going to use my data collected tonight and present to the manager? Sunday, January 26, 2003 06:36 p.m. ___________________________________________
Was quite tense during my 1st erhu lesson, The erhu teacher gauged that I was more or less at 3rd grade and hence want to charge me $35 per 45 minutes. That makes $140 per month. Looks like I got to teach tuition to help cover the learning cost at my Uni year 4. Anyway, the point isn’t the cost, as long as she doesn’t ask for the sky. I want to learn and improve in the most correct way, so guess the only way is to pump the cash in. Okay, so I finally get to learn the correct posture, hands, arms and everything. Argh, it’s really a relearn since I got used to my “old” style. Well, they are all incorrect, so thankfully, I can learn the proper way now. She asked only for one thing that I be very hardworking with my practices at home and my “homework”, and she promised I will be able to improve very fast and well. But funny why almost everyone I talked to thinks undergraduates are able to pick up and learn musical instruments easily. Haiz. True meh? Saturday, January 25, 2003 11:14 p.m. ___________________________________________
Anyway, I finally found a erhu teacher who would take me in as one of her students. Yah, the teacher is a lady; actually made that blooper during the 1st phone call. :p Very, very excited about the 1st lesson tomorrow. Hopefully, she can help me iron out all my bad habits and correct my atrocious, horrendous Ji1 ben3 Gong1. Haha. Friday, January 24, 2003 08:41 p.m. ___________________________________________ Skipped lunch. Pure sleep the whole day. Big dinner plus gearing for my 2nd midnight shift in a row. God be my strength. Thursday, January 23, 2003 05:08 p.m. ___________________________________________
So when my boss broke the news of the schedule to me, I was like trying to put on my best brave front and take them in, just like a seemingly hardworking and conscientious employee would. Whatever it is, I will still put my best efforts and give him a report that he wants. That’s working life for me this week. To you: I know you also haven’t had the best of a week. Hang in there; they will all blow over before we even know it. I am doing that myself too. Jia1 You2 together, k? : ) Wednesday, January 22, 2003 08:07 p.m. ___________________________________________
To the person who has blessed me with the poem: You have taught me the importance of being contented. For this, I am so glad to have you as my friend. I hope someday, I could bless you back just the way you did for me. : ) Tuesday, January 21, 2003 11:20 p.m. ___________________________________________
I know the consequences; I know the stakes involved; it’s still a big no-no to me and I am refraining myself from falling deeper into it. ************************ Results for my beginner Japanese language module are out and I got an F grade for it. Expected it. Deserved it. But still, I am very disappointed at the grade. Can’t believe I went through all that trouble during holidays for nothing, could have just channel all my energy and time to CO instead of this. Okay, not exactly nothing since I got the chance to learn a 3rd language for free…that’s about the only sunny side that I can see. Haiz, got to try squeeze a time slot during my 4th year for an extra 3 AU GE module somewhere. This must be one of the tests that have been coming my way since the start of January. Will the time comes when I say enough is enough. When will that come? The time to stop kidding myself everything will be all right and to look on the bright side always. Hope it doesn’t happen. Wouldn’t want that to happen. I just hope I can cling on for as long as best and as possibly could. On the bright side (there I go again), watched “Hero” with Ken and Lio… Quite cool as the movie tried to tell the same story from 4 different perspectives and angles. Expect tons of “Matrix” style Kung Fu fighting scenes, in an artistic way? Compared to the crappy shows, other than LOTR2, which I have watched in recent months, this has definitely been one of the better Chinese martial art shows. Monday, January 20, 2003 08:26 p.m. ___________________________________________
One thing I have learned about them is their simplicity of heart. Come on, you got to be a contented and simple person to endure the mundane and repetitive operator work week in week out. Some even worked for more than 5 years. The record one I have found was NINE years!! I am full of admiration for them; many who took up this job just to support their children to school. Pay isn’t at all great but it does provide versatility and stability. I wonder if I can have such a simple heart like theirs. Sunday, January 19, 2003 08:52 p.m. ___________________________________________
I don’t want to take a chance at something I may regret later. The risk is too big. Sunday, January 19, 2003 07:30 p.m. ___________________________________________
Just hope it would last…but it wouldn’t. Come tomorrow, the work week begins once again and I will be left keeping count of the number of days left AGAIN before the next weekend arrives. Few can claim they enjoy their work, those lucky twigs. Sunday, January 19, 2003 12:40 a.m. ___________________________________________
Haiz, found out just now that the clinic at toapayoh central isn't a 24 hours type...a wasted trip for ken and I. But in the end, I just got some panadols and pop in 2 tablets prior to sleep. Saturday, January 18, 2003 04:30 p.m. ___________________________________________
Not in the mood to do anything else except to stay in my bed and sleep. Friday, January 17, 2003 10:11 p.m. ___________________________________________
The pasar malam at ToaPayoh that always comes around every 3 months are back! Though smaller in scale than the previous ones, it still has all the usual shops…barbecued food, pirate games and cds, clothings and such. Bought fifa 2003, and my recommendation is: DO NOT BUY the game. 2002 version was really so much better; I don’t understand what happened to this one. AI control is havoc and graphics are worst off than last year’s. Wonder why fifa game writers always push so hard for an early release and give us crab. Thursday, January 16, 2003 11:37 p.m. ___________________________________________
Mi baked muffins for us all! Yeah, and it’s one of my favs, chocolate chip type. Hahaha! Looks like I may have a sore throat tomorrow morning, with all the muffins I had. :P Tuesday, January 14, 2003 10:42 p.m. ___________________________________________
Every morning last week was a struggle. I would start off the morning with the worst possible mood, which ease gradually as the day passes by. The coldness in the clean room, the bitter bite of water that is used to washed your gloves/hands, the constant whirling sound of machines and air showers… Just felt a strange lethargy as I work and there was a certain emptiness of what that can drive me going. Need that fuel, need that drive. But it’s starting to get a lot better now as I’m taking each day 1 @ a time. Still thankful because I did learn much more compared to my ntu frens in other companies. Sunday, January 12, 2003 10:58 p.m. ___________________________________________
Sunday, January 12, 2003 10:25 p.m. ___________________________________________
I was a little taken aback by the final bill when our chairman went to settle it at the cashier. Wex is really such a generous man. :P Hahaha, I wish someday I’ll be able to give treats like that to all my good friends. Didn’t really like the sake a lot and JY put it as “being like thinner”. But it does soothe my body up and let me felt more relaxed than usual. Heh, must be the thoughts of needing to go back for work tomorrow that dampens the spirits a little. Anyway, a fire broke out at the shop-and-save building beside the national library in toa payoh central. I was on my way home after the jap meal and the fire just started right in front of my eyes. I was like only 20meters away from building? First there was nothing, then billows of smoke and a rather raging fire appeared. The first police car arrived like 3 minutes later followed by 2 fire trucks 7 minutes from the start. On a side note, I was pretty impressed at the response time. A little mayhem there at the 2-lane road where everyone was trying to get their vehicles out the way. Haiz, like any true-blue Singaporeans, we must all crowd around and look even though we could very well obstruct the firemen and policemen. :/ Saw some workers and waitress huddling together for comfort and quite a few of the dinners and shoppers were in tears. That’s when I left. I am saying a prayer to God that no one will get himself or herself hurt or injured by the fire. Sunday, January 12, 2003 04:51 p.m. ___________________________________________
Had a really great time, where we will just play games, eat, more games, eat some more…the only missing guy to complete the group was Ro. :/ But overall, I believe everyone had a good time since this was our 1st all guy chalet session. Hahaha..so you know what to expect when 7~8 guys living in a mini-apartment. Seb, lets play that silly “ballet-jumping” game again if we have the chance hor. :P Friday, January 10, 2003 12:56 a.m. ___________________________________________
Do I really want? Wednesday, January 8, 2003 10:40 p.m. ___________________________________________
Supervisor’s final words today were that I will be treated like a real engineer and be attached to the chief engineer for day-to-day job duties. If you ask me, despite it being challenging, I am still feeling very apprehensive and out of place there. Interacting with the “aunties” at the clean-room production line was fun. Hehehe, they were all very honest bunch of people, all just trying to make a living. Felt an attachment to them already simply by talking to them. Anyone of them can be my mother anytime. :P Wonder when my 1st O.T. will come. Tuesday, January 7, 2003 10:52 p.m. ___________________________________________ I know I am not at the best of my spirits. But prayerfully, tomorrow will be a day filled with God's blessings and favours. Father, bless a dear friend and I. And lift us up. Tuesday, January 7, 2003 08:43 p.m. ___________________________________________
Okay, so though theoretically it is a joint plant, Hitachi takes precedence. So guys, I am working for Hitachi now, not IBM. Quite impressed by the company’s professionalism. My friends at their companies were telling me how bored they were and that nothing was really planned out for them. But here, I went through a whole day of briefing on issues ranging from safety to quality assurances to handling of sensitive high-tech equipments. N and I got “posted” to this department with 8~9 other full time engineers, with “assurances” from the staff that projects and assignments are on the way from tomorrow. It’s nice to know I would be doing something productive here, but i can’t help feeling a lot of inadequacy and very apprehensive? My direct supervisor looks like one who will drives his subordinates hard and already, he has listed his expectations for us. Even went into the assembly plant itself, which requires me to dress up in an “astronaut” suit due to the clean-room environment. Haiz, it seems I got to don that attire everyday for the rest of my 6mths attachment. But on the bright side, I get to breathe super clean air when the annual haze from Indonesia comes around May or June… :) Monday, January 6, 2003 05:59 p.m. ___________________________________________
Ok...the new haircut and passport photographs weren’t done as well as I wanted, but the one piece of good thing today was the discovery of a direct bus from the bus-stop outside my home to the IBM working place. Haha, guess that means I can sleep later in the morning now with the dramatic reduction in traveling time. :P Also got my hands on a metronome, a device that I had to resist the strong temptation of calling it a ticker-timer to the sales guy serving me at plaza sing. Didn’t take a lot of decision making since there were only two choices available and the other type was simply…too obiang? It came pretty cheap too, @ only 36 dollars. Hahaha, considering Mi got hers for 50 bucks, it’s quite a good deal. Just hoping that it doesn’t turn out to be a real cheapo by getting itself spoilt after a while… Sunday, January 5, 2003 11:31 p.m. ___________________________________________
Tomorrow is suppose to be my 1st day of attachment work but somehow IBM asked me to report on tuesday instead. Hehehe, so I have an extra day to do my IA admin and plain lazing around before start of work. Haiz, better enjoy tmr while I can. :) Sunday, January 5, 2003 03:03 p.m. ___________________________________________
I do not how long we played. At least an hour per half? I didn’t notice that we were so exhausted until the younger players started panting and cramping towards the end, hahaha, that’s when we decided to call it a day. At least 3 hours of non-stop soccer action there must be… Haiz, I pulled my left thigh muscle (again) during the game. *Ouch* Argh, it makes simple task like walking painful but on the positive, things could be much worst, like a sprain or a broken bone maybe? :P Let me try rubbing the pain down a little. *SIGH* Sunday, January 5, 2003 12:15 a.m. ___________________________________________
It's going to be more like a weekend-chalet-cum-cell-group camp...haven't really seen what dan has planned for the session, but you can expect a lot of bible teaching! Hahaha. Ivan, Yao and I went starcraft gaming, as usual, with the rest of the guys crowding their pool table. Hehehe, ivan was the chiong king again, with me the "carrier man" and yao the...well...ahem... :p Now, the only thing left for me to do is to find a good erhu teacher that charges reasonable rates. Haiz, I must try my best to maintain the pace in which I have improved...but without a teacher, it's really hard. Really really hard. Friday, January 3, 2003 10:51 p.m. ___________________________________________
Emotions are pretty raw now, so I am praying hard that everyone can calm down and then when that’s done, the involved parties to sit down for a clear-all talk session. Everyone got to have an objective mind here and not let his or her emotions get in the way. Hope no one will say/do anything that they themselves will regret some time later. We need to refrain ourselves from passing judgments and prejudices at certain people in the open. It wouldn’t look nice on ourselves, would it? There’s always the option for a dialogue. Granted that a certain someone has done things that are unpleasant or wrong, but there are certainly always better ways to resolve things. I am still quite positive that things will work out and in the end,we get to learn more of each other through this incident. I really do believe. I really do. Friday, January 3, 2003 10:30 p.m. ___________________________________________
So I am having reservations on whether I can clear this one, especially if you know I failed my mid-term test as well. Oh well, it’s over already and nothing can be done anyway. The Industrial Attachment briefing was a real bore, AS EXPECTED. Worst when MPE students got to stay behind for an extra FYP talk. Argh, in the end, the whole thing ended at 5pm. :/ On a brighter side, I went on a big shopping spree just now. Had to get working clothes for my IA coming up next Monday. And I bought 4 polo-shirts, 2 pants, 1 belt, 1 T-shirt, 3 pairs of socks….hmmm, did I miss out anything else? :p Friday, January 3, 2003 01:08 a.m. ___________________________________________
BHCO will be having a concert, which will be held this coming August, most probably at Victoria Concert Hall! *Gasp* Yeah! Hehehe, I get to learn new songs. ") Wexiang is our new BH chairperson! *Double Gasp* Hurray! I will give you my undying support and will do within all my means to make sure you succeed as our chairman. That's my promise to you, wex. :) Mier and I are the new BH librarians! *Triple Gasp* Hahaha, okay, looks like I got JianYuan to "thank" for the first arrow I got for the year. From what I gather, being a librarian involves management of ALL BH music scores (for all instruments), distribution of scores and making sure every member has them for their individual instruments...and keeping tab on the collection of CDs and scores in the music cupboard - A job which certainly requires heavy responsibility. Hope I can work well with Mier and be her good, obedient assistant... Hahahaha :) I know I am suppose to be studying for my japanese exam later, which is at 930am...but after a good phone chat with a friend, I don't have the mood anymore. :DDDD But all is not lost! Did some studying just now at toapayoh mac during the evening. Was pretty fruitful, though to my horror, I discovered that I forgotten much more of what I have learned than expected. :( Well, I shall just go to bed now and then go into the exam hall laden with smoke bombs on my belt. Pray that I will be able to "smoke" my way out, k? :P Wednesday, January 1, 2003 10:35 p.m. ___________________________________________
"Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. "And you will seek me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. -- Jeremiah 28:11~13 So I have been asking God on what shall be my guiding verse for the new year. Okay, the verses are not something new to me; read it a couple of times before. But this time on New Year's day, it sort of hit home something. Esp. now when I am given a new clean whiteboard, with markers for me to write and draw on for the coming days and weeks ahead as from 2003. Of course, there are strong apprehension on what 2003 will bring me, but this verse encouraged me to know that God -already- has the best planned for me, that I should trust Him. So I will. :) I wish a certain someone will also read this verse with the same conviction...God is just right beside you if only you would seek Him.
Wednesday, January 1, 2003 9:18 a.m. ___________________________________________
Went with Junyi to buy drinks for the party and it turned out that he was late over some shower mishap that he encountered. hahaha. We spend most of our time at the supermarket arguing what drinks to get and in what quantities. Still, our estimate of the drinking capacity wasn’t way off at all…only 1 bottle of drink remained when the whole thing was over. :) The pit had a nice pavilion where we just had a great evening of BBQ-ing, eating and plain chatting *read gossip*. Heh, BH culture, what to do? :P Didn’t ate much as most of my evening time were spend buying last minute stuff for the BBQ, carrying things and BBQ-ing. But the sushi that mier’s mum made was absolutely fantastic! All thanks to auntie, who spend her entire afternoon yesterday making the sushi, from what I heard. Argh, but we wasted a lot of food. 60 sticks of satay left uncooked as we all completely forgotten about the plastic bag lying in one corner of the pavilion. So were much of yingjie’s stew and zewang’s Old Chang Chee’s curry-puffs and sotong balls left uneaten. My back and bum are so sore right now. Guess what, I played bridge for the entire night with Mier, Junyi and Yanxin from what, 10pm till this morning 7am, breaking only twice for toilet breaks at YingYun’s house. Hehehe, it sure brought back many memories in army camp when bridge was THE way of life every night. :D Wex, Kelly, Yingjie and some unknown guy were at the “2nd bridge table”. It was really great fun! Wish we would have the chance to play such lengthy, engrossing bridge games next time. Zhiqiang was a walking zombie by morning and Jiajia was lively and bubbly…which could be due to the joyful phone chats she had in the evening while we were BBQ-ing. Sad thing though that Mier and Junyi have to start school tomorrow! Haiz, and I still have my jap exam coming on the 3rd. It has been a great night. Definitely memorable. PS: Thank you Mier, for your LOTR books!!! :) I can’t wait to start reading them. Hehe. |