--Monday, February 3, 2003

Dammit!!! I'm fucking pissed!!! The site I want to fucking go to has too much fucking trafic. I shouldn't have linked it in an earlier post because people who actually read this fucking weblog follow the fucking link and create said fucking trafic. I just want to read fucking Bronze and I can't!

On top of everything else, my mom and my sister are in my room and refuse to leave. I just want to be ALONE right now and they refuse to recognize MY wishes!!!

I Want My Fucking Bronze and My Fucking Privacy Right Fucking Now!!! Why Can't These People Leave Me the FUCK Alone!?
...
...
I really needed to say that.

Fox listened to Louis angst at 09:50 p.m.
::I'm Giving You the Choice I Never Had::

--Monday, February 3, 2003

Y'know how in Escaflowne, the main character is transported to a different world? I'm really wishing I could do that right now.

Fox listened to Louis angst at 09:32 p.m.
::I'm Giving You the Choice I Never Had::

--Monday, February 3, 2003

I forgot to mention yesterday that I read my first shota manga- Elle to Takara. My first and my last. Okay, I can deal with teenagers being fucked by adults (because a lot of times, they're the ones who get themselves into those type of situations), but I can't deal with shota- which is a boy under the age of adolescence with another boy the same age or older. In the case of EtT, it was 10-year old boy (I'm sorry, "anthropomorphic wolf") and a much older male (or "anthropomorphic rabbit"). I'm sorry to anime fangirls who actually like stuff like this, but it is SO pedophilia -.- Just reading the dialogue, I was reminded of something a kid might say in court when accounting the "experience". It's not right. Morally, I don't support shota, because then I would have to support those pedophiliac fucks who do sick things to little kids.

Some people would point out that yaoi in general tends to be pedophiliac, but they forget that teenagers aren't children or adults- they're adolescence (that and a majority of yaoi is either teenagers or people of the similar ages). The technical term for an older person being in a relationship with a teenager isn't pedophilia (it's something else. adophilia, or something like that). Teenagers have more mental competence than children do; they are able to make decisions on their own, though it can be the wrong decision.

You'll have to excuse me. I'm still a bit upset over it. I hate it when young, beautiful, innocent things are senselessly destroyed by what is misconstrued as love. When you're a teenager, you can give up on innocence- give it away or have it destroyed- because that's how you'll grow and learn and become an adult. When you're a child, innocence is what makes the world golden and what makes dreams and goals possible. When you're a child, you have nothing to limit you or tie you down when it comes to dreaming. It's because you have the ignorance/innocence not to know that you can be bound to the earth. Innocence gives children wings.

Yeah yeah....laugh it up. The self-proclaimed voyeur has a moral side -.-

Fox listened to Louis angst at 03:49 p.m.
::I'm Giving You the Choice I Never Had::

--Sunday, February 2, 2003

I read Gohou Drug. It was good, as most CLAMP manga tend to be. It's very different from their other pieces, like Clover. Not that I'm complaining...

After Gohou Drug (or what the site had of it), I moved onto Bronze. After reading two volumes of Bronze, I have decided that it is the most angsty and tragic thing I've ever read. The whole Seishirou-Subaru story spanning two series and most of Angel Sanctuary can't compare to the heart-wrenching sadness of Bronze. Dammit! I just want to hit Koji and Izumi upside the heads! *fumes* But I'll still read more. I'm on volume three now....

Speaking of tragic...Rabbit in Your Headlights- it's a Radiohead song collaborated with DJ Shadow. The music video is basically the Karma Police music video, but the song itself is just so bloody sad! Unfortunately, they leave out the best verse in the music video version (which I have):

If you're frightened of dying and then you hold on
You'll see devils tearing your life away
But, if you've made your peace
Then the devils are really angels
Freeing you from the Earth... from the Earth

Link to the scanlation site where Bronze & Gohou Drug can be found: Game Over or Continue

Fox listened to Louis angst at 09:25 p.m.
::I'm Giving You the Choice I Never Had::

--Sunday, February 2, 2003

I hath made a deal with one of Tetsuo's friend's. She's selling her Gravi dvd set for $15. I'm sending her $15 and an additional $5 to cover the shipping. My ambitious collecting of unlicensed anime continues! Mwahahahahaha!
...
I really hope my X3 dvd comes on Tuesday.

And now back to Gohou Drug. I found English scanlations XD

Fox listened to Louis angst at 04:50 p.m.
::I'm Giving You the Choice I Never Had::

--Sunday, February 2, 2003

In other news, I managed to stay within a budget of $10 this weekend. More money in my bass guitar kit funds XD....well, after I took out money for my application fee to BSU and money for that X Vol. 3 dvd I ordered through Bruce at World Records (and it may be in Tuesday- two weeks earlier than I had planned). $83 in my bass guitar fund so far :D Since I'm not going out next weekend (making that the third weekend in a row I have not gone to a mall or the movies), I should be much closer to my goal >:D And by the weekend after that, Cayman's coming up, but I don't think we'll go out. That means I'll have over $200 and more than enough for my bass guitar kit. YAY!

....Shit. I forgot that I have to put some money aside if I want to get emo glasses >.< I'm ordering them Febuary 20th (since it's the only time I can go to my eye doctor). Um. Okay. That means I'll either just (1) use my money in my bass guitar fund + whatever I save up from here to there or (2) put half of my wages into my bass guitar kit fund, the other half into my emo glasses fund.

Fox listened to Louis angst at 11:35 a.m.
::I'm Giving You the Choice I Never Had::

--Sunday, February 2, 2003

I was reading Gravi last night. Hee hee hee. Track 14 is fucking brillant! Shuuichi in a schoolgirl fuku XD XD XD The mangaka was so sticking it to mahou bishoujo mangas (I found myself thinking of Sailor Moon when he ran into Yuki. The frame was soooo Sailor Moon!!!). I could use it in a layout :D

Fox listened to Louis angst at 11:07 a.m.
::I'm Giving You the Choice I Never Had::

--Saturday, February 1, 2003

*_* I found a site with Gohou Drug scanlations...but they're mostly in Polish *cries* ooohies. But they are starting to translate it into English :3 LINK! (warning: you have to reload any section in white -.-)

Fox listened to Louis angst at 10:55 p.m.
::I'm Giving You the Choice I Never Had::

--Saturday, February 1, 2003

Oh yeah. Comments on the whole spce shuttle disaster:

It's sad. Really it is. I'm not crying over it because accidents resulting in people's deaths happen all the time. What it does do is make me think about the space program. I remember years ago when very few people were saying that instead of all this other stuff, more money should be invested in the space program. I somewhat agree, somewhat disagree. There's a million and one better things (like feeding the poor, finding better and more efficient energy sources, or helping the world rather than aiding in the destruction of some parts through drilling, stripping or even bombing the hell out of it (the wildlife reserve, the rainforests, and some Middle Eastern countries, anyone?)) that are more worthy of recieving the money than the space program (or war or building up military forces, for that matter). It's things like the space shuttle Colombia disintegrating during re-entry that makes me wonder if maybe we should invest more into the space program. Things like this rarely happen, however, and I'm sure the space program gets boodles of cash from the government and perhaps from private investors already. It's not like it's grossly under run and in need of a major update into the current world of technology.

Also, it probably wasn't a good idea for me to be singing Space Oddity today around a whole bunch of people, some of who were watching coverage of the incident o.o;

Fox listened to Louis angst at 10:15 p.m.
::I'm Giving You the Choice I Never Had::

--Saturday, February 1, 2003

I went to see Cayman and Becca perform at OMEA Solo & Ensemble ^^ It was fun. Becca's clarinet solo was great (though, I'm more partial to the one she did last year), but her tuba solo (the imfamous and hard "Emmett's Lullaby") wasn't as good as it could have been. There were a few parts and runs where she could have articulated more, but taking all into consideration (like how hard it is to articulate on a tuba when you've been playing clarinet most of the day), she did her best and an overall good job. I'm proud of her (she's so good on instruments!).

Cayman- wow. Cayman blew me away with his solo ("The Happy Hippo"). It was a simple piece (very simple Class C) and he's only been playing since January, but he played it so well, that you would have never guessed that he had only been playing the instrument so long. He's going to surpass me one day on the bass clarinet. He may deny it, but he's damn good and has the potential to surpass me.

I'm not so good at sight-reading music, understand, which probably doesn't make me a top rate musician. My area of expertise comes not from printed music, but from the music which I feel inside. I can play "Forever Love" still, despite not having picked up the bass clarinet in a while (I did this today). This is because I, well, (not to sound sappy) play with my heart rather than my senses. It's not too entirely hard to do. I feel the piece inside and I can rip it out (with some mistakes that are corrected within time). Last night, Cayman asked me over the phone what the notes were to "Forever Love". I supposed he wanted to learn how to play it. I laughed and told him what I've written above; it comes from inside. Everybody has the potential to do this. I think he'll get to that point one day where he'll be able to rely on what he feels rather than his sight, hearing, and mind. His progress astounds me.

Oh. Watched "Now and Then" and laughed my ass off. It was so friggin' sappy and angsty! I think I should watch it again when I'm feeling depressed. Maybe then I'll be able to take it seriously rather than bursting out in peels of laughter when they show Seishirou. (Seishirou + sappy song/angsty video does not mix well with me)

Fox listened to Louis angst at 09:57 p.m.
::I'm Giving You the Choice I Never Had::

--Friday, January 31, 2003

Cat emailed me :) I have to sit down with Becca sometime and make some sort of rough draft of a plan for when we go up to Ann Arbor for x amount of time. Or we could have Cat visit us :D Either way, we see Cat :3

I'm downloading my first anime music video. It's an X/TB one called "Now and Then". 35% and two hours to go :D

Fox listened to Louis angst at 05:55 p.m.
::I'm Giving You the Choice I Never Had::

--Friday, January 31, 2003

Once More Fox Bastardizes X
The Vampire Chronicles Style

Louis= Kamui (sheeze louise, this matches too well)
Lestat= Fuuma XD
Claudia= Kotori (yeah yeah, I know Kotori doesn't have a mean bone in her body, but Claudia is supposed to be the lost, dead-yet-remembered love of Louis. And Kotori fits the bill)
Armand= Subaru (anybody else who thinks this is perfect say "Aye")
Marius= Toughie. Seishirou would be the obvious choice, but personality-wise he doesn't come off as the knowledgable fatherly figure. I'm sticking with Seishirou because (like Claudia!Kotori) it compliments the character.
Gabrielle= Satsuki. Only because they're both apathetic. And if Gabrielle were born/"reborn" in the late 20th century, you know she'd be like Satsuki.
David= O.O I don't know! For complimentary sake, I'd say Kakyou, but Kakyou is too damn depressed and subdued to be David! I'm going with Yuuto. Yuuto is the closest person I can think of who's good enough to be David. Or I could say Seiichirou....
Maharet= Kanoe
Mekare= Hinoto. Definitely Hinoto
Pandora= If you wanted to compliment this one with Marius!Seishirou, it would have to be his mother, Setsuka, but since she's not a major character in X and Pandora wasn't Marius's mother, I'm going with Karen. Because of the wavy hair. And because when I imagine Pandora, I do sort of see a motherly figure (honestly, I don't think there are any motherly figures in VC. Only a fatherly one and he's the mack daddy of all vampires X3)
Jesse= *sigh* the only female left- Yuzuriha. I dunno. Jesse's young. I haven't read QotD yet (mainly because I'm really picky and DON'T want a shitty movie cover)
Mael= Kusanagi.

Grrr! I have to go to work! And I'm not even dressed! I'll think of more later. Or maybe I'll sit down with all the VC books I have (with the exception of Queen of the Damned and Merrick and Blackwood Farm) and I'll skim through them. Either way, more casting later!

Fox listened to Louis angst at 09:25 a.m.
::I'm Giving You the Choice I Never Had::

--Thursday, January 30, 2003

For your (and my own) entertainment: Chronicled Insanity

Fox listened to Louis angst at 11:31 p.m.
::I'm Giving You the Choice I Never Had::

--Thursday, January 30, 2003

Ok, so I only gave Seishirou and Setsuka two days...I couldn't wait to put up my Louis layout!!! Here's the description for those who are too lazy to scroll down and check out the layout info:

Vampire: Louis de Pointe du Lac (aka Brad Pitt)
Le Chant: "Forever Love"- X Japan (translated into English)
Colours: Blue & Black (the colours of sorrow)
Why: This is a companion layout to Amie's Lestat Layout. It needed to be made. Originally, it was supposed to be Louis/Claudia, but I couldn't find a pic of Claudia that I liked. The lyrics still fit the character, though. "Forever Love" is for every angsty/tragic figure or couple out there that is doomed by their own devices or fucked over by Destiny. Louis is the epitome of the song. More so than Kamui and all those angsty fucks in X...even Subaru.

Fox listened to Louis angst at 07:41 p.m.
::I'm Giving You the Choice I Never Had::

--Thursday, January 30, 2003

woohoo! Saturday may possibly be a day off for me :D

Fox listened to Louis angst at 05:04 p.m.
::I'm Giving You the Choice I Never Had::

--Wednesday, January 29, 2003

I'm reading Stephen King's "The Stand". I'm not too far into it, but I can already say something about it: It's Stephen King, but it's style is different from his other books. I still like it (End of the World theme- yay!) but if I were to compare it to, I dunno, "Cycle of the Werewolf", "'Salem's Lot", or "Pet Sematary" (probably not good examples, but they spring to mind because I have yet to touch "Carrie" or "The Shining"), "The Stand" just sounds different. Then again, it's in a category of its own.

Stephen King usually writes horror, but he has been known to write drama too (imo, some of his best stories are his dramatic ones- "Shawshank Redemption", "Hearts in Atlantis", "The Green Mile", "The Body"....). "The Stand" is set at the world's end. For some reason, to me, apocalyptic things, as terrifying as they may be, are totally different entities from your regular, run-of-the-mill horror. This is the only book I can think of by Stephen King where it's setting is during the attempted mass extinction of mankind. It's great so far, and since I'm more familiar with the author and his style, I feel safe, like I won't be too terribly shocked or disappointed or even contradicted. I have an idea of who may be among the survivors. I have an idea of how things may turn out in the middle of the book (I won't speculate on the end. This sucker's 1141 pages long, with 400-500 pages of deleted material that the author had to leave out for marketting purposes). However, since this is a totally different genre of horror, I'm aprehensive and almost weary of what I may find.

I also picked up Ayn Rand's "Anthem". It's one of her shorter fictional works and I've been meaning to get into her works for a while now. If I like her style and maybe the story, I'll move onto "Fountainhead" or "Atlas Shrugged".

Fox listened to Louis angst at 06:36 p.m.
::I'm Giving You the Choice I Never Had::

--Wednesday, January 29, 2003

I forgot how depressing "Forever Love" is. Never listen to "Forever Love" at 2 AM while working on a LouisxClaudia layout. It makes so much sense that it hurts. Dammit. And I still need to find a picture of Claudia that I like. I think I'll just put the layout away for a week and enjoy incest-y goodness that is SeishirouxSetsuka.

Fox listened to Louis angst at 09:41 a.m.
::I'm Giving You the Choice I Never Had::

--Wednesday, January 29, 2003

Oh. This layout is only staying up until I come up with a good companion layout for Amie's Lestat layout. And it's going to be Louis. I promised her, and I'm looking forward to keeping this promise.

I give this layout at least a week.

Fox listened to Louis angst at 12:29 a.m.
::I'm Giving You the Choice I Never Had::

--Tuesday, January 28, 2003

New layout! w00t! It's Seishirou and his mum. I was surprised I was able to do this. It was a painstakingly long job without my glasses and my eyes hurt. And I still have RPG business to conduct. owies.

Word up to Amie on the Lestat layout. Give me some time and maybe I'll get that Louis layout done (if I could find pictures of him that I like). Maybe I'll put Claudia in there too. I could use "Forever Love" as the theme (the song fits them. Hell, it fits any angsty/doomed couple).

Fox listened to Louis angst at 11:12 p.m.
::I'm Giving You the Choice I Never Had::