Sunday, August 29, 2004 11:55 p.m.
Sorry for the long absence from my blog writing. I'm having exams starting from today... so until September 11th, I won't be actively online. So please don't worry, okay?
Tomorrow, I'll be stopping by my church office in the morning for cell group with Pastor David. It's for peeps who think they are called into full-time ministry. I have no doubt where I am headed for my future and there are still some who think I've lost my marbles but when I lay my life down for Him, I believe against everything that my Keeper will lead me to green pastures and still waters. A writing career in the future for God? Wow. I still can't comprehend it. But I will work on it faithfully.
Friday, August 20, 2004 09:03 p.m.
"It's okay to cry, why is it wrong?"
"It hurts me more to see that you hurt and you won't let anyone help you."
Yeah, I know. I know. It hurts me as well. Thanks for being you. It helps because at least I told someone.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004 02:06 p.m.
Congratulations, Mei Ling!
Your IQ score is 122
This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.
Your Intellectual Type is Insightful Linguist. This means you are highly intelligent and have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.
Mei Ling, the Right Job for you will allow you to be:
Analytical and Creative
As an Analytical type, you don't want to be limited by established rules and regulations. Your inquisitive nature demands that you sometimes question authority. Otherwise, you might not be able to find fresh approaches, or come up with new solutions to a problem. It's not that you act without weighing the pros and cons of a situation — it's more that you're more willing than others to take justifiable risks if they'll further your career success.
You're smart enough to know when you need help and are confident enough in your abilities to ask for it. You understand that sometimes there are no clear right and wrong answers, and that's just fine with you because you tolerate gray areas better than most. In fact, pondering potential outcomes can sometimes be more interesting than coming up with the definitive solution for you.
Your right job doesn't have to be about self-expression, but it needs to be a job you can be proud of.
Monday, August 16, 2004 11:44 a.m.
do you know how it feels to want to dig out your own pair of eyeballs because the pressure and pain exerted by your migraine tempts you to gouge them out?
Sheesh... its so painful that my right eye vision is blurred and it's making my head feel hot and cold at the same time.
But I'm gonna be stubborn. I'm going to trust God no matter what that I will go through this day glorifying Him and not cursing Him. I will be healed of this. Nausea is setting in but I will not be beaten down by it. My spirit will sustain me.
*ouch* Guys, need your prayer support. Thanks.
Friday, August 13, 2004 12:47 p.m.
sweet anointing
wash me over...
sweet anointing
wash me over...
Rain down on me
Rain down on me
here in your presence
i am free
pour down like rain
come and touch me again
lord let your presence fall on me...
~Rain Down, planetshakers australia.
May God rain down on us. Lord, we need a revival...
Thursday, August 12, 2004 05:53 p.m.
Have you ever screwed up in your life? Have you ever wished you could for ONE day live to be the child your parents wanted and be the doctor/lawyer/engineer/business tycoon they wanted you to be? Or when you failed in an exam and they were disappointed, did you feel like the biggest idiot on earth?
So often we forget to see through God's eyes and realise that we are His creation - fearfully and wonderfully made - IN HIS IMAGE mind you! Sure, we fall and get some bruises and carry scars, but God doesn't care about what sins we did before, He looks at us the same way when He first formed earth, "and it was good".
I did mention in previous entries that I walked out on my cell leader. Just a few days ago, she sent me an SMS that went along the lines of, "...no matter what you go through or how you walk off on me, I'll still listen to you vent..." I have only realised as I was contemplating last night that we often neglect to see ourselves as God sees us. I've been through a period where I keep condemning myself until the point I can't see any good in me even when people tell me I have good qualities within me.
But this morning, as I contemplated again, I cried as I realised that I was my worst enemy. Through God's eyes, I saw my future, the things He promised me. I saw how much I mattered to Him, enough that He sacrificed His Son for me. In God's eyes, I shine!
But we all think we aren't able to shine. We can. I can. You can. To be able to shine, you need to know that you can shine. Sorta like a Peter Pan syndrome, if you believe you can fly, you will fly!
Tuesday, August 10, 2004 07:40 p.m.
After waiting for the latecomers we finally got onto the LRT at Wangsa Maju. You could sense the excitement right from the start - the chattering, laughing and joking around - all bore testimony of everyone's anticipation to Planetshakers "Nights of Fire" at Christian Life Centre in PJ. The gang consisted a good mixture of guys and gals, most of them from World Harvest and a number friends who were invited by the church members to have a good time at the concert. On the way, I suppose the people in the LRT were a bit disturbed by the noise we produced but who cared anyway? WE wanted people to notice just how excited we were to go and worship God together as the Church.
When we reached Taman Jaya and I started counting heads, there were well over 40 people there crowding at the bus stop. As we waited for the bus to come, you could see a bunch of the guys standing and hollering at the top of their lungs, the girls were smarter - preferring to sit atop the stairs out of the sun and chit chatted. We cheered when the bus came and as we lined up to get onto the bus, we were joking among ourselves that the other commuters would probably be too scared to get on the bus and we would be able to have the bus all to ourselves.
As the bus took a heavy swerve (no thanks to all of us), some of us had to hold onto the steel bars real hard to avoid falling. Some were even busy taking photographs. After getting off from the bus we took a 15 minute walk to CLC and finally found ourselves in the air-conditioned hall waiting for the band to come up on stage.
At exactly 5pm amidst cheers and claps, the band came onstage and proceeded to sing up a storm. Whoever said worship needed to be quiet was definitely wrong that night. True, we stomped; heck, some of us even danced and cheered; our hearts cried out to God and that is true worship. We sang songs like "Reflector", "To The Ends of The Earth" and "Rain Down" and many more. To be honest, it's my second time attending such concerts and to me and I'm still awed by the presence of God because amidst the shouts and claps - people found their God.
When Paul Geerling came up and talked about our "Hero" - someone fictional, a sportsperson, biblical characters, your mother, etc - Jesus is the ultimate hero. Think about it, all heros portrayed are strong physically and received glory and ultimate praise. But our Hero? Beaten, cursed, insulted and hung on the cross of shame. Would you call someone like that a hero? Yet a hero is someone who is willing to sacrifice his very own life and take up the form of a humble servant to serve and save. That's awesome.
King David turned cartwheels, people loudly sung psalms to glorify God, people had longer hair in the Old Testament than our time, people were daring to come up and touch Christ. Can we do less that that? Forget about feeling repulsed to seeing someone with long hair praising God, even if he has pierced ears and tongues and belly button... SO WHAT? If they can open their hearts, shout and sing to God; if they can fall down to their knees crying and laughing at the same time and praising God... GOOD on THEM. Worship.. when you praise God unreserved in your heart, that's what God is looking at.
Maybe people who travel from church to church observing and analysing worship services and concerts should remember that "The heart of Worship" doesn't judge nor think, it merely and accepts beyond doubt that God is amidst the crowd and open to His touch and love.
I don't know about you... but my God loves to party as much as I do, He enjoys rockin' with His children dude...
Monday, August 9, 2004 11:48 a.m.
Thank you, God. For opening my eyes to yesterday evening. After a week of being barren and silence, amidst the noise, drums and shouts, I found my peace. I found my Keeper and that experience I will cherish. I can't believe that You still love me over and over again as Your creation. So imperfect, faithless most of the time, weak and crawling, yet You chose me. You never gave up on me. You even opened my eyes and gave me a gift last night. I am awed and thankful. I can't believe it. It's too wonderful. I sound like a giddy fool, but You love this fool anyhow. God, I love You for who You are - my Hero.
